Dating coach Anwar White shares scripts for common dating situations: how to break up without ghosting in three sentences, what to say when someone asks what you're looking for, and how to set boundaries using phrases like "I would prefer."
Chapters
Girl, you're going to have to talk your shit while dating. You cannot be cute and mute because some of the girls, they want to perform for men. And I know that a lot of women are conditioned and programmed to do so, but I don't want that for you. As a dating coach for 14 years and as your fairy godbrother, I wanted to share with you some dating language that might be helpful as you're navigating your dating journey. You can use this for inspiration. You can look over my shoulder and copy my test. Girl, I don't care. I just want you to win at the end of the day. Yeah. Okay, so if you want to get rid of a guy, don't ghost him. Dating karma is real and I don't want that for you. Three sentences. Hey, it's been great getting to know you. I'm not feeling a connection, but I want to wish you the best of luck. Don't over explain. That's a trauma response. You want to be in your HR department mode when you're giving this information. No emotion. Okay? If a guy is asking you where you want to go, give him two options. Hey, I like to do pizza or sushi tonight. Which one do you prefer? This will help him actually like bond to you because you're helping him solve a problem which will increase his vasopressin and will make sure that you're maximizing the pleasure for both parties. A lot of women will be like, figure it out.
That's not cute. Okay, if a guy asks you what are you looking for? Don't give him the checklist, girl. Because a lot of narcissists will use that checklist to try. Try to get into your pants instead. Just be very broad about it and be in observation mode to see if he actually will fulfill your need. So it's something like this, you know, I'm looking to get to know you know, people and connect with them and hopefully that'll lead to a long standing relationship. Again, you're in observation mode because dating is dataing, collecting data and that's what you want to do. Okay? If you are. If someone asks you why are you single again? Don't freak out, don't get snarky, don't get defensive because that is actually how a man is testing you. He doesn't care what your answer is. He cares what the tone and the energy is behind the answer. So very matter of factly, without skipping a beat, just say, you know, I've spent a lot of time, you know, in my education and in My career, and now I'm really allocating more time to dating. What about you.
Girl? Cute, concise, to the point. Then give him the question right back. Also, I get a lot of questions from women that are like, I don't know what to talk about on a first date, girl. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to take the three to five subjects that you've talked about, like, you know, with your family or with your friends, and actually use those subjects to talk about different things. A lot of women will sit back and just let the guy talk. Don't do that. Yeah, you want to actually give your stance. You want to talk about the things that you want to talk about so that you can maximize your fun on these dates. So if you love reality tv, girl, talk about it. If you like anime, girl, talk about it. What? Whatever you like, talk about it and see if he can roll with it or not. This is how you evaluate whether this person is going to be a good partner. Also for boundaries. Because I know a lot of women maybe struggle with some boundaries. And so one of the things that I've seen that has been really helpful if you use the word prefer or comfort, I would prefer if you called me at a certain time. I would feel more comfortable if we went to this place instead of this place. Or these are the ways in which I want you to set your boundaries. Don't try to tell somebody what to do. Nobody wants to be told what to do. A lot of women do that, and then they're met with defensiveness, and then boundaries don't feel safe for them. And that's really the essence of what boundaries are. So I hope that's helpful for you. I hope that you can adopt some of this language to help you on your dating journey. And if you need more help with that, definitely book a call.
