Anwar White argues you should establish strong boundaries before lowering your guard. He advises Black and Brown clients to level up boundaries first, then practice vulnerability. Healthy boundaries aren't the same as cutting people off.
Someone asked, when do I let my guard down?
Your guard should start down.
But what that requires is sick boundaries. And most of us don't have that because we didn't grow up in households where we were allowed to have boundaries. So one of the things that I teach my clients that are black and brown is, like, we level up the boundaries first and foremost. Oh, not this. Not this cap that I used to wear in junior high. Thanks, girl. We have to be able to set boundaries before we can learn how to be fully vulnerable to create those connections. There's, like, an order to this. Yeah. And I'm not talking about cut off games. Strong, like, you got rigid boundaries, healthy, communicated boundaries that you can state without being triggered with, you know, very matter of factly. All of that.
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Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
