Where did all the nice guys go? #datingadvice #datingtips #datingadviceforblackwomen #singleblackfem

Hey, girl. One of the craziest things about dating and what makes it really hard these days is that there aren't any like. Or let me just say this, as many nice guys as there used to be. And I want to talk a little bit about why that is. So what I know is that oftentimes a lot of people, based on the high level of divorce that has happened in, like the 90s, actually grew up with single mothers. And that relationship oftentimes coming from a place of trauma, whether it's abusive, there's enmeshment. Codependence has created men that have resentment towards women. Now, for the men that don't have resentment towards women and are growing up and are still nice guys, what happens is that they start dating. And many of the women that they try to date are bored by them because they're so nice and are going for the bad guys or the bad boys. And so they try to emulate the bad boys to try to get new and different women. And so for the men that actually go beyond that and still are nice guys, what will happen happen is that they will interact with a woman, and what will happen is because she has been traumatized by dating and maybe by her parental relationships as well, specifically her mother. Her mother was in her masculine or her father that oftentimes women will be skeptical of guys that are actually nice, and they will be mean to them and test them because they are not used to a relationship that is accepting and loving. And so they will try to sabotage it in a way to try to see if it's real love or not. But when they do try to sabotage it, it actually creates disconnection, and a lot of people will step away or the relationship will break up. This is why dating can be really hard. And if you're always asking yourself, where are all the good guys? This is what happens to the good guys every 10 years. And it's really unfortunate.