A short coaching-style YouTube monologue (Anwar White) diagnosing why people often don’t progress beyond first dates. Main points: failure to be playful and vulnerable, conversational habits that shut down connection (one-upping, interrupting), and guidance to end relationships when physical/romantic attraction doesn’t develop despite other compatible traits.
Chapters
Period. Said, I can't get past first dates. Well, there might be a reason for that. Yeah. A lot of the times when you're getting. When you're not getting past first dates. And I'm saying this with love and respect, y'. All. Yeah. It's because you're not playful and fun, and you're acting like this is like a diplomatic meeting or an interview so they don't feel connected to you. It's because we probably are lacking a little bit of vulnerability, like actual deeper connection. And oftentimes you might be acting like you're competing with a guy. So if he says, oh, my gosh, I'm going to Paris this summer, it's going to be really exciting, and you think that you're actually connecting, you're saying, oh, yeah, I've been to Paris three times. Da, da da, da, da. Well, now he. He feels like an inadequate fool. Yeah. And so that feels like competition or one upping, and that creates disconnection. So I know a lot of women naturally do this because they want to connect, but it actually has the opposite effect. So those are just some examples of what might be happening on first dates. Also, if you are, let's say, neurospicy, oftentimes what will happen is that you won't. You'll cut off your partner, your conversation partner, and you'll start going into different conversations, and he will feel very unheard. That happens a lot as well. So that is something that you might want to think about. Right. Making sure that the conversation. It's one of the questions I always ask my clients when. What was the conversation ratio on the day? Because in my program, my VIP clients reach out to me after every day, and we talk through the date to glean insights from it so that we're always learning. Right. More than anything else. Okay.
Freckles said. The guy I'm dating is so unattractive to me. He has most of the qualities I'm looking for. I'm struggling. If the attraction level is not increasing over two or three weeks, you're gonna have to let it go. And it sucks. It's one of the hardest things to do in dating because they have everything else. But, girl, you can't continue to be with him, because if that were the case, then y' all are just going to be roommates. And you could have gone on to Craigslist for that if it was still available.
Right. So that. That's what it. That's what it means. It means it's not meant to be. You can't fake the funk. What are you gonna do? Pretend to have, you know, pretend to like him kissing you? Right. And instead you're completely disgusted. If you don't want a guy to kiss you, you shouldn't be with him.
Don't fake the funk. Because what happens is, when you ignore that, what happens is, is that you start to not trust yourself.
Everything in your soul is saying, don't be with this guy. But then you are you continuing to try to make it happen.
That's when you start to abandon yourself, and you create the pattern of abandoning yourself, okay?
