Anwar WhiteExpert dating coach Anwar helps women of color heal their hearts, date with strategy, and get their guy!

Why Black Women Don’t Like To Be Touched!

Name: Why Black Women Don’t Like To Be Touched!
Uploaded: 2025-05-25T12:01:19+00:00
Duration: 2 min 8 s
Channel: Anwar White
Description: A short YouTube talk by dating coach Anwar White (for Black and brown women) linking childhood touch deprivation to adult relational difficulties. He…

25 May 2025 · 2 min

Watch on YouTube

2:08

A short YouTube talk by dating coach Anwar White (for Black and brown women) linking childhood touch deprivation to adult relational difficulties. He states specific daily-hug thresholds (4 to survive, 8 to maintain, 12 to grow) and claims Black girls over age five receive only about one hug per day on average. He attributes the pattern to cultural/familial practices (acts-of-service parenting, rare affectionate touch, corporal punishment) and suggests physiological effects (underdeveloped vagus nerve and oxytocin systems). The video closes with an invitation to comment and to seek his services via his bio.

Questions this video answers

4 to survive; 8 to maintain; 12 to grow.

About one hug per day on average.

About 12 years.

Dating coach for Black and brown women.

Chapters

Hey girl, did you know that you need four hugs a day just to survive? You need eight hugs a day just to maintain and you need 12 hugs a day just to actually grow. Black girls over the age of five are only getting about one hug a day on average. I am Anwar. I am a dating coach for black and brown women. And the reason I'm talking about this is because I've been doing this work for about 12 years now. And I know that the majority of my clients and the women that I talk to that are black or brown actually feel uncomfortable when people touch them. This is what we call touch deprivation or starvation. And it affects our adult romantic relationships because when we're dating, oftentimes we won't know what's in between kissing and hugging and sex. And so it actually hurts us because we don't know how to intimately.
Satisfy our partners. So girl, if you know me, you already know that our parents have a big part to play in this. Black parents often show their love through acts of service, which means that there's not a lot of hugging and kissing. Those are quite rare. And then touching is basically non existent. And if there is touching, oftentimes it doesn't really feel authentic and genuine because the emotional security and safety isn't there, because there's not a lot of emotional expression. And also because there's so much spanking happening in our household that actual touch can feel abusive or violent. So when you combine all of those things together, it means that our vagus nerves can be underdeveloped and our oxytocin development center can be underdeveloped as well, which means that it's going to be harder for us to make connections with other human beings. Now let me know in the comments if you don't like to be touched. Let me know if you've had similar experiences growing up with your black parents. I. And also let me know in the comments if you need some help. You can check out my bio and I can definitely help you with that so that you can get your guide this year. Hope this helps.