A short YouTube monologue by dating coach Anwar White (uploaded March 7, 2024) exploring why people date partners of different ages. The speaker suggests age-gap relationships often relate to control dynamics: some people choose younger or older partners to feel more in control after feeling powerless or hurt with same-age peers. The coach gives a heuristic ("minus five years, plus ten years") and warns that relationships chosen for control may limit personal growth.
Az Unique said, I'm 33 and he's 21. Girl, that's. That's intense. I usually say minus five years plus 10 years as their age range. Girl.
21. You just started drinking. Girl, what are you? Are you a chaperone? Girl, what's the tea?
No, here's the thing.
Different people have different reasons for dating different ages. Right. And oftentimes when, if you're a woman that focus on. Focuses on dating younger men and significantly younger men. What I've learned as a dating coach for 13 years is that that is often because you don't feel in control with the men that you are current, like, that are in your age range or that you've been hurt. Like, let's say you're 35, but you feel like, I can't. I don't feel in control when I'm engaging with them. You might talk to a younger guy to feel in control. The funny thing is that a lot of women will do this for older men, too, because you think, oh, my God, he's so old. He's so ugly. Like, I can just do whatever I want with him. And you're going to feel in control.
When you're younger and the guy is older. That can be a very dangerous situation when you're younger. When you're older and he's younger, like, significantly younger, you think in your head, you think that you're really doing something because you feel like you're in full control, but you're not in full control. I always say you're not on the varsity team. You're on the JV because you're doing something, but you're not doing it in a way that's actually going to challenge you and actually allow you to check in with the totality of who you are. Like, it won't grow you. Yeah, Oftentimes. So something to think about.
