Anwar White explains why some people bully when they flirt: it's a defensive reaction from patriarchal family dynamics, like having an authoritarian father. He contrasts this with offensive flirting that actually works in dating, and says you need to connect with yourself first.
Chapters
Okay, someone said I'm a bully as a flirt. So if you are a bully when you're flirting, it is because.
You have experienced a lot of the patriarchy. Meaning, like when you grew up in your household, it meant that your dad was authoritarian and it means that he was number one and everybody else was a second class citizen or that your brother had more privileges than you did growing up. And so your first inclination is that you want to take them down a few notches. So you want to bully them and take them down so that you feel like you're on even, even playing field.
Total defense mechanism. We don't have to fight with these men, honey.
A lot of us are playing defense. In dating.
Girl defense doesn't win games. I don't care what the high school football coach said.
In dating, you have to play offense.
If you're going to play defense, you always going to be defensive.
And ready for the fight.
You got to score, girl, you got to play offense. This is what I help my clients do. I help them flirt. I help them learn how to connect with men and connect with themselves first and foremost.
So if that's something that's of interest, you definitely want to book a call with me. Cuz girl.
