Your emotional age in relationships matches when your core childhood trauma happened. The speaker was abandoned at nine and stayed emotionally nine in love until doing the work to grow up. Most adults are intellectually mature but emotionally stuck, which sabotages their relationships.
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Yeah. One of the things that I tell my clients, but I'll tell you because y' all are family to me.
We'Ve got to figure out what that big trauma was for you. Whatever that. Whatever age you were at that time.
That'S the emotional age that you are in your romantic relationship.
So, for example, when my father abandoned me When I was nine years old, emotionally, I was nine years old. Even as an adult in my 20s and 30s that I had to work through.
You got to figure out where you're stuck.
Why am I saying this? I'm saying this so that we know, okay? This might be where I am at emotionally. And the work that I do with my clients specifically is.
Most of them are, like, intellectually 250 years old, emotionally, 10.
We got to get your emotional age to your actual age. That's the work. The reason why emotion. We're not looking for emotional intelligence or sensitivity is because our parents didn't have it. What did they say? Ladies, you got a roof over your head. You got food in your belly. You got a bed to sleep on. You're good.
No space for the emotions.
So now your bonding pattern is just that, that you're okay with not having the emotional intelligence in your relationships.
It stops tonight.
Actually. Say it's number one.
Numero uno.
Numerous. Uno.
Okay.
Y' all are talking about. He's got to be fine. No shade. He's going to be ugly in 10 years, 20 years. Now what?
In 18 months, you're not going to have your hormone chemicals inside of you. It's not going. He's not going to feel as hot to you.
Now. What.
What do you have then?
Because we've never had that emotional foundation, we're going to hyper focus on the intellectual, the financial, and the physical.
Yeah. Honey, these men, their. Their looks are dropping off, honey. They. Girl, they get to 32, 33 downhill, honey.
Look like two different men, 35 and 45.
Y' all talking about. Oh, he's fine. He got to be fine.
That's fine if he's fine, but what about if he's ugly on the inside? Balloon popped. Balloon popped. Yes, ma'. Am.