Dating coach Anwar White explains why women of color face unique dating challenges: cultural upbringing that discourages boundaries and vulnerability, plus dating racism that shows up in lower response rates. Their six-month program helps clients integrate these split parts and connect authentically, with 90% finding a partner.
Questions this video answers
April 11, 2023
About 33%
About 45%
90%
Creating a harsh and traumatizing environment so my plant can grow up big and strong, just like my parents did for me.
So a lot of people ask me, why are you just a dating coach for women of color? Well, women of color have very special experiences, unique challenges. They grow up and are raised differently than their white counterparts, and that directly affects the way that they interact with their love and romantic life. So, for example, anyone in a black household knows that you don't have any boundaries when you're growing up. So when you don't know how to set boundaries, it's going to be harder to do that in your dating and your love life. Every black woman knows that their parents have treated them and raised them to be stoic, to have no emotions, because they know how hard this life is going to be. And they know that if you're able to, like, be numb to it, you'll be able to succeed and thrive in it. That works 100% against you when you are trying to be vulnerable and deeply connect with another person. This is why it's harder for women of color to connect. And part of my program is teaching them how to do that. Right. Another thing that happens quite a bit is obviously dating racism. Right. There are racist people out there, and so they're not checking for you as much. Right. I think the latest statistics that I read was, you know, if a black woman sends a message to a man, the percentage that they will respond is like 33%. But if a white woman does it, the percentage is like 45%. Right. So just the dating racism alone is going is important to understand here. Also, black women are taught to be chameleons. Right. There's so much oppression happening in the outside world that our parents have to endure. And unfortunately, a lot of that oppression is comes into the household. And so to navigate it, to survive, we have to become chameleons and split ourselves. That's why so many women of color are one way at work, one way with family, one way with friends, one way with men. Part of my work is bringing all of those split parts together into one. So there are unique challenges that happen when you are a black woman growing up and in your love life. The other thing that I forgot to mention is that most black women are late bloomers, right? Most of us are not actually dating.
In elementary school. You know those white girls in your class in third grade who have boyfriends? Most of the time, that's not going to be you most of the time. Most black women are actually going to start to date in college when they're away from their parents, either because religious upbringing or their parents want them to focus on studies and no boys, or the fact that some of those young boys were intimidated to actually engage and talk to and go out with a black girl or a girl of color. There are a lot of different, unique challenges that are happening for black women. I am a dating coach for women of color to help you overcome those challenges and thrive in your love life. And most of the women in my program are doing that. 90% of my clients get their guy in my six month program. If that's something that you want, definitely book a call and we can talk and see if it's a good fit. I hope this helps. I hope.
