Anwar WhiteExpert dating coach Anwar helps women of color heal their hearts, date with strategy, and get their guy!

Why It Won't Happen For Me is FASLE THINKING Pt 2

Name: Why It Won't Happen For Me is FASLE THINKING Pt 2
Uploaded: 2022-08-30T12:54:04+00:00
Duration: 1 min 6 s
Channel: Anwar White
Description: Anwar White (YouTube video, uploaded Aug 30, 2022) addresses how many women alter their behavior around men—presenting a reduced version of themselves…

30 Aug 2022 · 1 min

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1:06

Anwar White (YouTube video, uploaded Aug 30, 2022) addresses how many women alter their behavior around men—presenting a reduced version of themselves ("playing small," often 20–40% of their true selves). He argues this robs both the woman and a potential partner of authentic knowledge, can mislead early relationship impressions, and that seeing all sides typically emerges after a three- to six-month stage; if a partner only sees the diminished side, the relationship foundation is weak. The clip is advisory, drawn from White’s clinical/coaching observations.

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One of the things that I see a lot with women is actually turning into someone else. When you are engaging with men, fine with your friends, you're fine with your family, you're fine at work, but when it comes to men, something changes. Ultimately, you start to play small. And when you're small, you're not being yourself. You're being 20, 40% of yourself, not 100%. It robs you of showing the world the amazingness of who you are, but it also robs the person that is trying to get to know you because they think that they know you, because you're only representing a small portion of yourself, the portion that you think they're going to like. What happens is that if you can get past that stage, that three to six month stage in your relationship, you're probably going to be good because you've seen all sides of your partner. But if you are showing this 20% side of yourself and thinking that that is going to do it, you're sadly mistaken. And this is one of the things that I'm seeing a lot with my clients.