A YouTube monologue (by dating coach Anwar White) explaining why very attractive women often struggle in dating. Claims: people date first by attraction level, women focus on partners at their level or one notch higher while men look several notches down; nines/tens are only ~5% of the population; this creates competition and leaves mid/low-scoring men more willing to pursue quicker sex. Recommends assessing partners on a composite “PIE” score (Physical, Intellectual, Emotional) averaged 0–10 and argues long-term partners usually seek 7–8 rather than 9–10. Speaker notes emotional intelligence is often a gap (notably in her work with Black and Brown women) and suggests investing time to let lower-rated men’s intellect/emotional strengths and attractiveness develop (explaining “mid-ugly” pairings). Ends with a call-to-action to book coaching.
Chapters
Girl, the prettiest women have the hardest time dating. And I should know. As a dating coach, I have beautiful women in my program to the point where I am thinking and questioning my own sexuality. Girl. And there's a reason for that. And I wanted to go through that most of the time. What will happen is people date based on attraction level first and foremost. It's a short term way of thinking about dating, which is totally fine. Right? And the apps don't help with that. What happens though is like let's say you're a 9 on the attractiveness level as a woman. Women focus on people that are at their level or one notch higher. So you're only going to focus on nines and tens, which only represent like 5% of the population, right? Whereas a man actually will look at his level but like four notches down. So he's looking at nines, eights, sevens, sixes and even some fives, right? And so what happens is that because these nine men are focused on all of these women, you have more competition and some of the fives and sixes will actually give up sex. Quick, quicker and easier. So he will focus on them first and foremost, especially if he's not ready to date. If you're a nine woman, what will happen is the guys that are from a 1 to an 8 will be too intimidated to even approach you and think that you're too expensive, so they won't even engage with you. And even if you're in a relationship, a lot of these guys will be really insecure because you're going to continue to get a lot of attention. So it's really difficult to be dating and in a relationship as a pretty woman. It's not impossible though. And the way that I want you all to think about it, instead of just focusing on attraction first and foremost, I want you to focus on pie. Physical, intellectual and emotional. And the average of those scores, let's say going from a 0 to 10, will be your score and the guy's score. Now I work with black and brown women and oftentimes very smart, very beautiful, but the emotional component is lacking based on how we're raised. So that's what I do to help them get to a 7, 8, 9 in their. So here's what I want you to understand. Men are not wanting a 9 or a 10 physically, like for a long term focus. They really want a 7 or an 8. So please understand that our work is to level up that emotional component so that you can be ready for an amazing relationship. Now what does this have to do with mid ugly men? This is what is so funny. Sometimes you will see really beautiful women with guys that you would consider mid ugly. This is because they have given those five, six, seven fives and sixes a chance. And what happens is over time because they're giving people more chances, they're able to understand that these guys have a super high intellect and emotional quotient as well as the fact that with more time that they actually become more and more attractive. So that six becomes a nine, that five becomes an eight. So but oftentimes we're not giving ourselves that time and that opportunity to see a guy's pie rating but for the women that do that are very beautiful, really pretty. That's why you see a lot of them with the mid ugly guys. I hope that helps explain why it is really difficult to date while you're pretty and the science behind mid ugly men. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk TikTok and if you need help leveling up your emotional quotient, definitely book a call with me.
