A Black woman argues that limiting who you date shrinks your options. She proposes dating across races, criticizes figures like Dr. Umar for bad advice, and says to pick partners with real stability over swagger.
Okay, can I just say something?
Can I say something, please?
I need y' all to be dating everybody.
Is he French Canadian? He sure is. Oui, oui, madame, oui, oui.
I need. Especially if you are a black woman, I need you to be dating everybody.
Every third person that you date should be a white man. Every third person you meet should be a brown man. When I say brown, I'm talking Indian, Hispanic, Middle Eastern. And every third person you date should be.
Other.
Other.
Do you hear me?
Date everybody. When you do this, you will 7x your chances of getting into a relationship.
Someone said Dr. Umar told us. No, I don't give a sh. I don't care what Dr. Umar said.
Dr. Umar hasn't spoken with his daughter. He's not a great father. I don't. I engage with men that are actually great fathers.
His credibility is shot. Also, hasn't he been building a school for over a decade? And there's no school that's been built. I don't care what he says. His credibility is shot.
Let's. Let's speak what's real.
What we're not going to do because he has some sound bites is listen to what he's saying.
Girl, he's taken people's money and he has nothing to show for it.
Don't do that.
I think he's a really great example. I want to talk about this for a second because this is how certain black men will get you. They will get you because they're good with their words. They got swag. And a lot of us equate swag and competence with credibility.
Swag.
Is a poor man's language.
Historically speaking.
Back in the 1400s in France, the way in which poor men would get women because they couldn't get women was through swag was through talk, love talk, okay? That's the only way that they got women, because most of the time, rich aristocrats got all of the women.
So what happens for many black women who are surrounded by a lot of poor men is that we get intoxicated by the swag thinking that it means something. Just because a man is giving you attention.
Don'T be fooled by that. A lot of wealthy, great husbands, boring and corny.
So what?
Get rid of the swag. Right now, the swag doesn't pay mortgage.
The swag doesn't get the kids into private school.
The swag doesn't fly you on Singapore Airlines.
The swag has purchased a BMW but is paying $2,000 a month.
And he makes 2,500amonth.
Get rid of the swag. The sweet.
Swag is lame.
Yes. Divorce swag right now. It's disgusting. It's idiotic. When someone is giving you all that swag, I want you to think as if their GPA is a 1.9.
And that.
They go to summer school every summer.
I don't know if you are like me, but I was a schoolgirl honor roll t.
Those assemblies. Oh. I was getting the awards and you need to be with somebody that was getting the awards to the men that you were competing with academically. Those are the men that you need to be with. The men that were in your honors and AP classes. Those are the men that you need to be with, not the football stars.
Some of us are still dating as if we were in high school. That's what I'm saying here.
And it doesn't work in your grown woman status.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right. I mocked my soapbox.
#datingtips #datingadvice #datingadviceforwomen #singleblackfemale #singleblackfemale #blackfeminini
Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
