A short monologue by Anwar White advising women not to lower their dating standards. The speaker argues that responding to or engaging with unsuitable men constitutes settling, explains this behavior as seeking attention over emotional safety often rooted in childhood abandonment or neglect, and urges healthy boundaries (including blocking) as protective practices.
Chapters
Someone said, lower my standards. There are people that will settle and lower their standards because they like the attention of a man. I'm not saying anything that's crazy. I'm saying that because it's a reality for a lot of women out there. And what I'm saying is that you don't have to do that, but it takes a certain level of healing to get to a point where you don't do that or you don't need to do that.
Yeah.
A lot of people say, oh, I don't settle. I don't settle. There are men that you know are not it, but you will still respond to their text messages. That is settling.
If you're engaging with a man right now that you know full got done well, that he will never, never be a boyfriend, that he will never be your husband, that is settling. That is lowering your standards. That's giving your time and energy to something and someone that is not like, that's not worthy of it.
And this is not me coming for you.
I. I want to be really clear about this. I want to be clear that you don't have to do that.
What we're doing in those situations is we are valuing the attention more than safety because those situations are emotionally safe. And you will get your heart broken, but you are valuing the attention more because ultimately what is happening is that you are fulfilling a need that was never fulfilled in the first place. Place coming from abandonment, rejection, or neglect from your parents. So this is the deeper work that we do in my program.
Y' all think that you're not settling, but you are.
You got girl.
I want a scissors, girl. Boundaries. Healthy boundaries. Letting someone go blocking them are healthy parts of dating. You're not a bitch if you block someone. This is about your emotional safety.
Exactly. Chastity, you caught it, girl. She said, we're often bored on the low. You're bored, you're lonely, and oftentimes you're horny.
And there are ways to manage each and every one of those things. It.
