Anwar White explains why dumping trauma or family hardships on a first date backfires. Give a brief, positive overview instead, like "I focused on my career." Oversharing attracts toxic or narcissistic people who exploit vulnerability.
Nia said amor. What do I do once that a man knows that I have no family? Girl, these men don't care if you have a family or not.
The thing is that.
That is something that you don't want to share with him until later on when you get to know him. Because if you share that at the very beginning. Here's the thing. A lot of you all are, are trauma dumping on these men. If you're on a first date with a man, don't tell him about your trauma. Don't tell them about your homeless to Harvard story. Like you're trying to get into college on a full ride scholarship.
Girl, no shade, you know they kicking out all the DEI stuff. Girl, all the affirmative action. So don't play affirmative action in your dating life.
Don't try to pull at their heartstrings so that they'll like you.
When, when you.
Because when you do that, you are really going to be attracting like toxic and narcissistic people.
Do you hear me?
Who did that for their college applications? I'm just the poor black girl.
Don't do it, honey. Don't do it.
It's never gonna work. It's never gonna work.
Yes, honey, we had to get that scholarship some way somehow.
Don't do it. In dating.
So, girl, you have no trauma. You.
All your relationships were bomb, but you just decided it wasn't for you.
You grew apart.
You focus on your academics and your job, but now you're focusing on your love life. There's no I don't have a lot of experience. There's no I'm, I'm a virgin, you know, there's no, I'm a late bloomer. There's none of that.
Do you hear me? Yeah.
We'Re not discussing exes on the first date. Someone said so like. No, girl didn't say that. If they're asking you.
Oh, talk to me about why your last relationships didn't work out. Grew apart.
I leaned into my career because no shade. Everybody's leaning into their career.
Right?
And if you, if you aren't, then you probably under or unemployed.
Yes, honey, what did they do in the military? Don't ask, don't tell.
Correct. It's never about lying. You're never going to hear me say lie. This is about giving a cute overview.
Yes.
Yeah.
#datingtips #datingadvice #datingadviceforwomen #singleblackfemale #singleblackfemale #blackfeminini
Dating Pitfalls of the Smart and Successful Woman - Get Your Guy Podcast S1 E2
