A short YouTube monologue advising women of color to be more self-focused (described as 'selfish') in order to attract better romantic partners. The speaker contrasts cultural conditioning that prioritizes community/others with the benefits of communicating personal needs, arguing that self-focus leads to attracting providers rather than takers. The piece includes direct listener feedback and examples about dating dynamics.
Chapters
User 514 said, I love this selfish video today. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm happy to hear, I'm happy to hear that because a lot of people, especially if you're a woman of color, you don't grow up like being conditioned and programmed to be more self centered. Like you are often conditioned to think about others and the community and your parents before you. And what that means is that you will take that and that will be a bonding pattern for you and then you will start doing that in your relationships. And we actually have to flip it on its head. If you want success, success in dating. Because you, if you, if you are always focused on him, you're going to attract the users, you're going to attract the takers. Yeah. When you are selfish and you're focused on yourself and what you need, you're going to attract the people that want to provide and give to you.
And no shade. I don't know if there are a lot of white girls here, but that's what a lot of white men are, white women are doing. And like I was saying in my video, a lot of those girlfriends that you have that are complete no shade, they're always getting a man because they're always self centered.
And men like that because guess what? When you're self centered and you communicate what you want and what you need, it's very easy for a man to provide for that because he knows exactly what you need. And when he does that and you're satisfied, he derives his satisfaction.
