Your Glow Up Pt. 1 with Jodie Taylor

Hey, girl. Welcome to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips, and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? All right, let's go.

I never felt the way I do without anyone but you.

Hello, my loves, and thank you so much for joining the get your Guy podcast. I have a special guest, and I know I say that every week, but this is my girl. I mean, this is one of the girlies out there on the nets that are teaching the girls how to really glow up, how to level up, how to live their best life. Ms. Jody Taylor. Girl, tell the ladies who you are, what you do, and why you're so fabulous. And thank you for being here, by the way.

Of course. I love you, Anwar. So I.

So two things. One, on a corporate lens, I work in the entertainment industry, specifically in music, as a senior director of diversity, equity, and inclusion. And I have been in that field since I graduated, so 10 to 15 years. Um, and prior to this role, I was the head of diversity at a real estate company. Have worked in tech. All of that good stuff. The through line through all of that is I'm really passionate about helping communities of color, specifically women of color. So I do that both in my career and then in the content creation space. So I am a TikTok girly. I started my platform about two years ago. And the premise, once again, the through line there is creating opportunity and democratizing information that I felt like I didn't have access to growing up. Specifically for women of color.

Yeah, definitely. And we're hoping to bring some of that information and knowledge to this podcast. That's why you're on, girl. Because one of the things that I know is that you are about the glow up. You are glowing right now, by the way. But I love the information that you're sharing with the ladies so that they can kind of glow up and really kind of pour into themselves in such a way, like, significant and intentional way. So talk to me about why glowing up is kind of important to you, and maybe you can share a little bit about your glow up journey.

Yeah. So the glow up process, the impetus behind it is the pandemic. I was in a tiny apartment and I just was in New York. You can kind of be distracted from. I wouldn't say I was unhappy, but I was sort of just living a going through the motions of life. I had a great job. I was in my 20s, and I would go out on the weekends, and then I would go to work, and that was sort of it. But I didn't really feel like I was maximizing my life. And so in the pandemic, I just had all of this quiet time where I was like, who am I? What am I passionate about? Like, all of the distractions sort of settled, because, you know, in New York, you're always going and moving. And so I finally just had a moment to just sit down and sort of assess who I am. And in that assessment process, the glow up was totally unintentional. Like, I just had free time, and I had some excess funds because I wasn't going out anywhere. And I just was really intentional with my time. And so it started off by honestly being in therapy. I had started a therapeutic journey, and that really opened my eyes to aligning to my authentic self and my authentic code and who really am I? And that was the impetus of this journey, is just aligning back to my most authentic version of self and the highest version of myself and realizing that I wasn't quite there yet. Even though maybe on the outside side, having a great job and having a robust friend group seems like I had a good life. And I did, but it wasn't. I didn't feel like it was my life or my highest version of life. And so started off in therapy, and I, you know, cut my hair and was on this free, freeing journey that was very liberating. And then I started working out more. I had a personal trainer, and so I was working with a trainer. And then I started being more intentional. I changed jobs. So I ended up getting a senior leadership role at a company, and that was my first time being in a leadership role. So it was all of these changes that were happen. Relationships were shifting and being more intentional about relationships. And I had a lot of coaches around me. I had a therapist. I had a personal trainer. I had a life coach, a career coach. And I just had all of this support. And I kind of got to see how my life was changing. I saw how people related to me differently. I saw how I got new and better and more expansive opportunities. I saw how I was showing up differently in the world. And then, like, maybe two or three years later, I sort of retrospectively looked back on that time, and I was like, oh, my God. I had this, like, amazing glow up. I didn't intend for me to have this entire overhaul of my life, but it sort of just happened because I now had the capacity and time and space. I had all these really wonderful coaches. And so that's sort of how the glow up journey happened for me. It was. Once again, I didn't intentionally want that to happen, but I sort of looked back and just saw how beautiful and expansive my life had become over the past two to three years. And I realized, like, I wish I just wanted to share this with other women.

Yeah. And we're gonna share it right now, girl. Right. Because the girls need to know. And I know that you.

So I know that you have kind of like a formula, kind of how to think about this glow up journey and how to focus in. So why don't you share with the ladies kind of how you think about kind of glowing up, and we can go into step by step. Because really, the intention of this podcast is for the ladies to pick, you know, one or two things that they can think about, focus on in your quadrant. Right. And really start to pour into themselves as they are leveling, leveling up their lives. So how do you think about glow Up? Like, teach the girls?

Yes, I think about glow up and once again, keep it authentic to you. There is no prescriptive way to do a glow up. This is how I did it. But choose what speaks to you, choose what resonates with you, and then move from there. But I broke it down into quadrants. So I thought about it from a physical standpoint, I thought about it from a mental and intellectual standpoint, I thought about it from a career and finances standpoint. And then I thought about it from a spiritual and purpose standpoint. And so those are sort of my four quadrants that I usually break it down into. Oh. And then also sort of like social and relational life. And those are. That comes from. And I think what's a good exercise for anyone who's listening is something called the pillars of your well being. And that's an exercise that I worked with one of my coaches. And essentially it's all of these different pillars of your well being. So it can be social life, it can be career, finances, mental, physical, spiritual relationships, whatever it is. You can Google pillars of wellbeing. It'll come up. And essentially you go through and rank all of those pillars on a scale of 1 to 10 or 1 to 5, and whatever is below, like a 5 or 2 or whatever your barometer is, ask yourself the why behind it and get really curious about why you're feeling not great in that area or why you and what a 10 would look like in that area.

Yeah.

So that is a really good, just like diagnostic on where you should maybe begin on your glow up journey. If you feel really confident in the physical aspect or the career aspect, maybe that's not a place where you need to invest so much time in. But how I did it is I started, I like to start with the physical because the physical begets quick returns and it also kind of keeps you going. So for example, if you get in the most amazing shape in your life, things like a mental overhaul or a financial overhaul that might take a year, getting into incredible shape might take two to three months. And then you kind of build this momentum that keeps you going. So I always like to start with the physical because I think people, people begin to relate to you differently unfortunately because of that.

Let's keep it real.

We're not going to play games here, right? The physical, this is how people see us, Right. And I will tell you right now, as I was following what you were saying, I really leaned into skin. I leaned into. And it's changed just my business and my life and everything. So let's, let's get into it, right?

Okay.

Let's get into the physical because it's important.

It is important. And you will see how people relate to you differently. How, I mean, people are inherently narcissistic and vapid, I think on a whole. And so the way that people will engage with you, I was just on a pod or a panel about beauty politics and all the girls were like, once I lost weight or once I blah, blah, blah, my whole life changed for me. And that can be a good or a bad thing, but that is just the reality of the situation. So in short, I think about body, skin, teeth and hair. And so for Bodi, whatever feels good for you, the intention behind that is just feeling good and comfortable in your body. So that isn't a prescriptive size, that isn't a prescriptive weight. It is just feeling comfortable in the body and then also dressing for that body size and understanding what works well for your body shape, your body type, the color scheme, all of that is sort of encapsulated in body. There are kibbe body types that you can take. I encourage women to build a capsule wardrobe around statement pieces. Understanding what, like colors look really good on you. Understanding what makeup looks good on you.

If you choose to like a variety of different tests online that you can take to figure out some of those things. So it's not like, honey, Google's going to be your best friend here. It sounds like.

Exactly. And for me, what was most helpful for me was Googling women who people say I look like. So there are like two or three people that I get all the time without fail Googling what works for them. And I'm like, okay, we kind of look like we have similar bone structure, similar complexion, similar height. She always wears braids or she has short hair. Let me experiment with that. She looks really good with dark hair. So using. You don't have to always go in blindly when it comes to a glow up understanding what makeup looks good with women with that complexion. So figure out some archetypes and then sort of go from there. Teeth Invisalign. I spent a bag on Invisalign and it was like one of the best things that you can do your teeth, the cleanliness, whatever that looks like. So whether it's cleaning, whitening, straightening, focusing in on your teeth, it changes your jaw shape, your face shape. And I find that it's like almost like a signal or marker of taking care of yourself is how it really is.

Because when you going out with a guy and his teeth are busted, I already know you're not going on that next day.

Exactly. And I am sure so many girls tell you, like, his teeth were crazy though. Like, he's so cute. But like once you open up his mouth or smile.

I literally heard that yesterday. So it happens. Teeth are very important.

Teeth are important. So that that one, you know, do with that what you may. But whatever you feel like your area of opportunity with your teeth are, you know, it, fix it and then skin. Going to the dermatologist office. I lived in my dermatologist office for skin. I really just focused on like a very simple routine. I think oftentimes these marketing companies are out to get you. You have, I know a lot of girls who have like a 12 step, 13 step routine. If it works for you, cool. But I'm telling you, as someone who talks to dermatologists all the time, you're probably doing too much. Just a simple cleanser like Apollo's choice.

Aha.

Acid in the morning or vitamin C. A moisturizer and a sunscreen. Really all you need is cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen and retinol and you're good. So focus on skin and have a relationship with a dermatologist or an esthetician that you trust.

And even if I can just say this because I think you're coming at it from like an expert perspective for like Newbie girls just even, just starting to get a facial, right. And starting to talk and have those conversations. Because sometimes going to the dermatologist might feel like really intense. But even I think even just getting a facial from like a place that you trust can start to get you interested and excited about what are the potentials and opportunities here.

I love that. Yeah, exactly. Getting a facial or assessing your skincare routine and seeing like, do I need to swap anything? And like Anmar said, it doesn't have to be lofty. Like my face wash is probably three now, probably at $10 now. But it's cetaphil or cerave. Like, you know, girl, me too. Girl, cerave, girl, girl.

It gets the girls together.

Yeah, Cetaphil, cerave. Like you really don't have to spend a lot of money on all of this. So this works at, regardless of your price point, you can find a skincare. You should not be spending a lot of money. It should not be expensive set of products.

Let's talk about, let's talk really quickly. Let's talk about like money and glow up, right? Because you know, obviously we're talking about a lot of different things and it's kind of a similar conversation when I'm like, ladies, get out. And everyone is saying it costs money to go out and money to glow up too. So what do you tell the girls that are like, you know, all of this costs money. What am I going to do with this?

It does, it does. But it doesn't have to cost money. Like I, I, it's difficult because I do spend a lot of money on maintenance items. But that's also because I just choose to do that. It doesn't have to be an expensive glow up. People hear all of the coaches that I have. One, my career coach was someone that I worked with and she was getting her coaching license and she needed to have like 90 hours in order to get her certificate. So it was free for me. My career coach was free. My personal trainer is a virtual online trainer that I think he, he cost. I think when you actually like parse it out, it's like $10 a session. So extremely affordable. Go on YouTube and look up some videos of workouts that you need to do. There are apps around workouts that you can do. You can get. You know, there's all of these online courses like Udemy and I forget some of those other online courses, but you can do a leadership course online for free. Like there are so many free or low cost opportunities that you can figure out nails get press on nails. You know, you can get lashes from the drugstore and experiment with YouTube. With all of these resources that we have, you can glow Up. Like I mentioned, my skincare, my face wash is $10. So there's so many things that you can subsidize and figure out what you want to lean into. So maybe you make a budget for the month of this is how much I'm going to spend on my quote unquote, glow up journey and allocate that to whatever you choose. So maybe you are going to spend the lion's share of that budget on personal upkeep. But all of that, like, educational component you can do online for free. So I say all that to say it feels expensive, but you can go on a walk with your homegirls for three miles.

And that is literally, girl, I'm walking. Girl, I'm walking right now. And it's a really great way to talk to people, get to know people. The other thing that I will say to just piggyback on what you're saying is a lot of y' all are giving money to your family and your friends and sometimes to men. Stop doing that and use that money for your Glow Up Journey. So if you are spending, let's say on average, $6,000 giving it to family and friends and all of that, girl, that's going to be your budget every month. 500 bucks for your glow Up. Let's use it so that when you tell these people, I really don't have the money to give to you, it is honest and authentic because it is already in your glow up budget.

Exactly, exactly. And a lot of people spend money on foolishness like that. Like, maybe you're not giving it to friends and family. Maybe he's eating Uber Eats every day. Like, there's so many other things you can reallocate your money in a way that it can go to your glow Up Journey. And so, yes, it doesn't have to be expensive. Certainly in the pandemic, I was not going anywhere, so I just had some money left over. But a lot of the coaching and a lot of the things that I leaned into during that time were free or subsidized. So it sounds expensive, but you can certainly, certainly do it at whatever price point or budget.

I love that. Okay, girl, let's talk about social. Because, you know, the pandemic made a lot of girls not just work from home, but live from home. So how can we get out there? How can we deepen relationships? What does that look like? How did you think about it?

Yes. So there are sort of two aspects when I talk about social, two aspects of social that I think about. There's one aspect that is almost like an aspirational social, and I think that comes from living in a major city like New York, and that talks about creating aspirational spaces. So being on a junior board, going to galas, all of that. And then there's the other social component, which is relationships. And how do you have better relationships? How do you spend your time more intentionally? So I think about social in two ways. The latter, I think, is very broadly applicable. I did a video maybe like a month ago that did pretty well, and it was talking about how your life is boring because you don't have hobbies. And so a lot of us go to work and come home and watch TV or talk on the phone, and that is your life. And you're like, I'm not satisfied with life. And it's because you don't have a rich life. You need to think about your social life in a more complex and interesting way. So I talk about having hobbies that make you hot, which are walking, pilates, joining a tennis club, hobbies that make you smart. So going to Toastmasters, being a part of a book club, listening to a podcast every morning, reading. Those are hobbies that make you smart, hobbies that make you rich. So that could be learning a second language, that could be starting a business, that could be doing consulting online. And that hobbies that give you purpose or fulfillment. So that is like volunteering. That is, once again, you can start a business that you're really passionate about. You can TikTok for me, gives me a purpose. I'm able to engage with women and connect with women and coach women and help women live their best lives. So you need hobbies that touch on every aspect of your life to really give you that rich and ful. So that's one component of social. And then of course, there's having deep and complex relationships with friends and spending intentional time with your friends and learning how to have a board of directors in your life who are people who can advise you and inspire you, having mentors, having friends and peers, and just understanding the different levels and dynamics of friendships that you need to have in order to have a really complex and fulfilling life. And then there's also the social aspect that's aspirational for a lot of the girls, which is going to a gala, going to, you know, being a part of a members only club or a social club. And that how that can kind of expand the aperture of your life and get you into new spaces and new circles and designing your life with intentions.

Let's talk a little bit about that last part, right. Because I think most people kind of understand the first two kinds of, like, you know, hobbies to enrich your life, right? Deepening your relationships. But what about kind of the aspirational kind of social changes that happen? And how do we make our first kind of foray or, like, first step into.

That?

Right, Because I know it can be kind of a little bit intimidating. But, like, how would you suggest for some of the ladies that are, like, ready but just don't know that world or, like, where their first kind of steps can be?

Yeah, I would say there are a few things that you should think about if you're trying to, like, level up your social life or be in aspirational spaces. The first one is you gotta be tight. Like, you gotta do your work on the front end. And what I mean by that is if you're looking for, like, a social mentor, you're looking to be a part of junior boards or galas or that sort of space.

Those spaces require you to have done the work on the front end. So making sure, from a career standpoint, you're comfortable and that you can be an entrepreneur, you can be a career girly. It's not prescriptive in that sense. But for a lot of these spaces, I think you have to. And particularly if you're looking for, like, a social mentor, you kind of have to already have your life in order for some of that mean that to be discouraging. But I do think this is on the more frivolous. Not frivolous, but, like, on the latter end of the glow up. Like, you want to make sure that you feel comfortable and confident in your body. You want to make sure that you're comfortable and confident in your career. It also requires money oftentimes to be in these sort of aspirational spaces. Whether you're going on trips or joining a board, usually you have to pay to be a part of these boards. So you want to make sure the finances and all of that is good. So if you have done all of that work and you're ready to step into that space, I would say a really easy way to do that is a junior board. And junior boards are essentially usually arts and culture, some sort of nonprofit organization. They have boards. So, for example, the Lincoln Center School of American Ballet here in New York, they have a board, but that board is about $10 million to join. And it's usually significantly older and not as diverse. So a lot of these organizations will have something called a junior board, which is for people who are 40 and under. And that's a really great opportunity for you to meet other peers. And that price point is significantly lower. Here in New York, we have everything from the Apollo to Alvin Ailey. And those are really diverse boards where you will meet other people who are interested in some of the things that you're interested in, whether, you know, in similar careers or maybe travel to some of the same places looking to expand your life, maybe live in your neighborhood. So joining a Junior board can be relatively affordable too. I was a part of the Apollo and that was $500 for the entire year. So you can also find junior boards to sort of help you break into a new social circle. And the great thing about those boards is that they always host events. So they'll have a spring luncheon or a gala. And so you'll have the opportunity to go to a lot of these aspirational events without paying for them upfront. You'll automatically get tickets for them. So I would say a junior board or a members only club. And there's a myriad of members only clubs. There's, you know, a Soho House or the Ned. There's also virtual members only clubs that aren't specific to a physical location. But one that I love particularly for women is called Fortune and Forks. It's a group for women. Most of them are in media, most of them are in the, in their 20s and 30s. And that's a really great way to meet other people. And if they're going to Art Basel, they'll all go together. Or if they're going to F1 or Cannes, like they'll host networking mixers in those locations. And you can meet other women that way as well.

I love this because, you know, I'm always hearing, well, where am I going to meet like smart and successful, like peers, women, but men. And these are the spaces that you, that you get to meet them. Right. And that I think a lot of people feel like, oh, like I'm just going to randomly just go to some hotel bar and meet them. And that's not necessarily the case. You have to pay money to be in many spaces. Right? So please, ladies, listen to her in terms of like really first steps, if you haven't even made those steps and you want to be in different surroundings, I think it'll be really helpful for you. I love all of these.

I love all of these different ideas. Because I know for the majority of women out there, they're probably not engaging in these, and I think it's going to really inspire them. Okay, so let's take a, a break here. I want to continue to talk a little bit about social, but I think that we're going to have to make this into two parts because I feel like there's so much information and I don't want to lose any of it. Yeah. But I want to go back to the, to the hobbies that you talked about first. Right. Because.

To your point, I think a lot of us are leading somewhat boring lives and I want to just like, relate this to dating. Many of us are like, like feel boredom in our dating lives because we don't have anything to talk about.

Interesting. Yeah.

Right. And so I, I think being able to intentionally think about. Okay, what are. I love those categories that you put it, put them in. Right. Hobbies for my brain. Hobbies for my physical. Right. Hobbies for deeper relationships. I also always want to encourage women to think about things that they used to do when they were children just to get a very playful.

Grew up, like, you know, doing ballet. Maybe you want to take a ballet class or a bar class. Right. Those are all very important as well, because like you were saying, you also want to diversify kind of your social environments and aspects.

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Yeah. I actually forgot about the playful hobbies and then also hobbies that put you on and give you opportunities. So once again, that can be a members club and then, yes, be playful. I think that was really important, particularly when you're in these spaces that are so analytical that it can be really taxing to sort of return to your childlike self. And I mean, relating it to dating, it helps you get into your feminine energy. It helps you sort of release some of that hyper robotic experience that you can have when you're in corporate America or if you're building a business or whatever that looks like doing things like arts and crafts or even if you just do a paint and sip in your home, you don't have to. This doesn't have to be expensive. Once again, you can literally buy a paint set at Michael's and just paint, paint. Or I've bought pottery kits and have it delivered to your house and make a pot, like make a little bowl for yourself. But all of those things that sort of just allow you to be free and childlike. I really enjoy too.

I love that. And you've inspired me to think about because a lot of people are not making events happen. Right. And so one of the things that you can do is like, literally tell five of your people, like, hey, come over. We'll do a paint and sip by ourselves, bring an additional person. And like, that's a wave to mix. Because I think these, like, house gatherings and, like, get togethers are opportunities that a lot of people aren't necessarily leaning into as much because, you know, we feel like we're too old for that shit. But in reality, it's fun, it's playful, it's social. And if you give yourself an opportunity to meet new and different people, that is another way to expand your social circle but also potentially date differently and have, like an internal vetting process already established.

Agree. I love that. Love that, love that.

Good girl. I think we're going to need a part two here.

Yay. I'm flattered.

I think we're going to need a part two here because it's just so much really great information. So, ladies, I want you to email me at anwargetyourguycoaching.com or DM me at datingatingcoachanwar. And Jodi, share your information as well so that they can reach out to you because I want to understand and hear what have you taken away from this Part 1 episode of your Glow Up? And what are the first couple of glow ups that you're going to do?

Love it. Well, my main platform for social engagement is on TikTok. So Jody J O D I E K as in Kimberly Tay T A Y and then I'm also on Instagram @jkt823 and those are my main platforms that you can find me at.

So reach out to her because we're going to continue this conversation. I think it's really important, especially as, you know, dating is weird and challenging. And I mean, I think 2024 is the year of the Glow up is the year of focusing on yourself. And so this is one of the reasons why I had Jody on. And I am so excited to continue this conversation. So we'll see you next week. Thank you, Jody.

You're welcome.

Hey, girl. Thank you so much for listening to the get yout Guy coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com apply or subscribe and leave me a review wherever you listen to your podcasts talk.

Sam.