Two phrases to protect your peace: "Just because somebody throws you the ball doesn't mean you have to catch it," and "You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm." Learn to say no without guilt when people dump their problems on you.
You know, I talk a lot about personal freedom. When you're practicing emotional intelligence, one of the things that, you know, I take pride in is this ability to have personal freedom. And what does personal freedom mean? It means that I can get through the day literally unbothered, or unbothered for any length of time that changes the mood of my day. I'm very intentional about that, and sometimes it's other people who either consciously or unconsciously try to hijack your day. So there's 2 phrases that I keep close to my chest that I will remind myself about when I find myself in a couple of situations. So one, there may be people in your life, whether it's at work, personally, or professionally, who like to bring their problems to you. They like to bring what's going on with them into your world Um, sometimes without even knocking on the door, it's just like soon as they— you guys start talking, they start dumping, right? Or there's people who always want to be like, look at this, did you see this? Look at that, did you hear about what happened over there or what they said, right? Trying to bring that to you, whether it's consciously or unconsciously, right? And I try to be mindful of the things that I accept. Sometimes people want to borrow things from you, whether it's money or otherwise, and they come with the story behind what it is. And then you start to feel obligated to do so because of the story. Um, and I just want to help free you from those moments if you can remember these 2 simple phrases. So the first phrase is, just because somebody throws you the ball Doesn't mean you got to catch it. Okay, what does that mean? Just because you throw a situation at me, a conversation towards me, it doesn't mean I have to catch it. I can literally sidestep that and let it go out of bounds, which means that although I might be listening, I'm not engaging and I'm not agreeing to what you're talking about because I'm not trying to catch the ball. Because if I catch the ball, guess what? I end up playing your game. So I'm not going to do that. So if I find myself struggling with saying no or letting someone know I'm not interested, I remember just because they throw me the ball doesn't mean I have to catch it. And the second phrase strengthens my position when I start feeling uncomfortable about someone's request. And this usually comes around— people need something from you so they can get something done, and they're not taking into consideration what it might cost you. So the second phrase I remember is that you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm, which means that if it makes me uncomfortable to make you comfortable, then I'm probably not going to do it. You do not have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. Because emotional intelligence is something we have to be intentional about, we want to keep as many key phrases around us to help free us out of those moments that are creating emotional turbulence. You can take that one to the bank.
I was literally kicked off a Southwest flight before for being disrespectful.
