DB Bedford examines what actually holds friendships together. Many people bond only over a single activity like drinking or work gossip, then feel hurt when that person can't support them elsewhere. Figure out what you really share with each person, then accept them for that specific role instead of expecting more.
Peace, fam. DB Bedford here, the EI Guy, bringing that emotional intelligence both personally and professionally. I got something I want you to think about. You know, the 4th domain in emotional intelligence is what they call relationship management, or the ability to manage the relationships around you. And it's quite often people overlook the importance of managing relationships. And so how do you manage your relationships? Well, one of the ways I'll share with you today Is that you can assess the things that you bond over with people, right? The things that you bond over with people. So some folks, if you think about it, the only time you might bond with them is over a drink, or you might only bond with them at work, or you might only bond with them over gossip, and so on and so on. I know when I was, you know, back in the day when I used to smoke a lot of herb, And I thought about this years ago. You know, I had stopped smoking weed. I was smoking weed for so many years, and then one day I decided just to stop smoking weed. And in that moment, when I stopped smoking weed, I started realizing that a lot of the fellas that I was hanging around, we didn't have nothing in common because most of the time we would only come together and smoke weed. After that, there was nothing else to talk about, just like when I stopped drinking. And so nowadays I drink very, very little. You know where I used to drink all the time. And I realized that some of the people I used to go hang out with, when it used to be like, let's go grab a drink, like, we don't necessarily communicate, and so on and so on. I bring this to the light today that sometimes the people that we bond over one thing for, because we have done that frequently, somehow we mistake them to be available for something else that you might want to talk about in life or even need in life, right? So if you are constantly bonding with somebody Let's say at work and they're a coworker, but then you start to mistake them for being closer than a coworker, maybe a friend, and then you need them in a certain situation and they don't show up for you and then you get upset. But the reality of it is your relationship is really based on the mutual interest at work. Same thing with somebody you only go out to hang with and drink, right? You might need that person for something simple, or you may try to reach out there for something different and they not available for you because the true relationship is that thing. So So to put this in perspective, it's about just assessing the people in your life and managing your relationships. When you're practicing emotional intelligence, teaches you to accept everybody in their life for who they are, but then you align and assign them where they need to be. That way you don't have any hard feelings, you minimize conflict because you understand the true nature of the relationship. There's some people that's only going to connect with you when they want something or need something. If you— if that's how you've been growing a relationship, don't expect something different, right? And so it's just something to think— I was thinking about what are you bonding— when you look at the people in your life, what do you bond over? What is the thing that brings you together? And you know, how many people in your life do you have that actually you don't need nothing to bond over? You guys are gonna be in contact because y'all got— your bond is genuine love, and however that was created. But then there's other people in your life that you only going to come together for a certain reason, and I don't want you to lose perspective in that.
I was literally kicked off a Southwest flight before for being disrespectful.
