Workplace War Stories Ep. 02 (Audio Only)

You are now listening to Workplace War Stories on the I Never Worry Podcast, the number one place to unpack that emotional baggage you've been carrying around for far too long. Here's your opportunity to process those challenging situations at work through emotionally intelligent conversations with the EI Guy, DB Bedford.

All right, all right, all right. Welcome to Workplace War Stories. With DB Bedford, the EI Guy, and we have Miss Cassie and Suzanne in the house today. Welcome aboard, ladies.

Thank you. Thanks.

And so today I wanted, you know, Workplace War Stories is, uh, you know, it's set up for us to have an opportunity to, you know, we've all been in the workforce, um, you know, for a little bit, and we've had our experiences. with that. And so I, you know, when I put this platform together, I always thought about like, you know, some of my friends I talked to and they always got a story about at work. Um, I had tons of stories at work and then I see people always complain on social media. So I'm like, why not create a space where we can chop it up about work? Right. And then, uh, you know, kind of unpack, you know, a lot of the things that be going on. So that's what we're going to do here today. And, um, You know, for those who are new listeners or whatever, won't you guys do me a favor? And Cass, just go ahead and introduce yourself and talk about the type of work that you did, used to do. So you said introduce myself as far as just like Jay-Z, allow me to reintroduce myself.

I think I'm gonna— now that I'm 50, I'm gonna just be Cassie.

Okay, who are you first?

I was Cassandra Bedford.

Oh, I thought she was a spiritual gangstress.

She's coming too, spiritual gangster. She's still in development. She's still in her infancy stages.

Infancy.

Did I say that correctly?

Yes.

Okay, good.

You put an emphasis.

An emphasis on her infancy stages. And I used to actually work in probation, for the probation department and law enforcement, working with juveniles. juveniles.

Okay.

Did that for 15 years.

All right.

Yeah.

And, um, in that, in that 15-year career, you got any war stories?

From day one. I mean, it was— you talk about a jungle, working in the jungle. It was a jungle.

Okay. Okay. We're gonna get to that. Miss Suzanne, thank you for coming.

You're welcome. Thanks for having me.

Yes. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Yeah, so I come I come from a lot of different careers, uh, World Bank, Department of Defense, high tech, mom-and-pop, academia, and a world traveler.

Okay, well, I think you definitely have a collection of war stories.

I got some collection, just a few for you.

And for those who don't know me as well, I come from, uh, working in probation and, uh, you know, working with young adults and youth. Crisis intervention, things of that nature, and a longstanding run with being an entrepreneur. So I definitely have a bunch of war stories myself. And so we're just going to get right into it. And so I want to start with Suzanne, right? Because when you sat down, you was like, oh, I got some stuff. Where you want to start? And so what I will say is when you hear the term workplace war stories, Tell me what comes up for you and then the first one, story that comes up to you that you would like to just dive right into.

Yeah, I think that's a great question because it's a metaphor, right? War is a metaphor and it's used often when there are sort of 2 very different agendas, 2 very different goals or philosophies. So we have to ask, what is the difference? What are the 2 sides when we say workplace war story?

Right?

And for some, they might visualize people actually physically at war. And I think it's less that and more we are at war between— with our expectations of what we believe a workplace should be like, how it should function. And on the other side, we have how it is. And so we are at war with why it can't be the way we expect it to be, and at war with ourselves over coming to work every day.

Right.

Fighting the battle.

Yeah.

Loading up.

Yeah.

Getting ready.

Right? Right, right.

So it becomes less of a job and more of a, you know, almost like a task to make it through the day. I mean, we even use phrases like that, make it through the day.

Just trying to make it through the day.

Just trying to make it through the day standing upright, you know. So I think the war metaphor is really, um, really appropriate.

You know, and just to add to that, you know, when I thought about it, I, you know, Like, I really believe that there is this battle of beliefs all day, every day. I feel like not only just in the workplace, but everywhere you go. But since most people spend a significant amount of time in the workplace, all throughout your day, you are bucking up against someone else's belief about something.

Mm-hmm.

And as long as you guys believe the same thing, it's smooth. Right? If I want to eat here and you don't mind sitting down eating here, then it was good. But if there's a problem somehow, somewhere, then it gets challenging. And I think where it really gets challenging is if your manager or your supervisor has a different belief than you.

Mm-hmm.

Right? Then it means that things that you try to do may— and it could be as simple as just a request for time off. If they don't believe that you should be taking time off for whatever reason, then they may deny your request. And then there you go. And so, uh, and without understanding that, I think those inner conflicts, right? And, and the inability to protect your peace on a day-to-day basis happen and you don't even know why.

Mm-hmm.

Right? Because you haven't had a chance to kind of unpack or just kind of reverse engineer, like, why is this happening in the first place? So Workplace War Stories and that battle of beliefs, I believe that A lot of people should be able to relate to that. And so we just want to learn how to talk it through, unpack it, and have a little fun with these conversations.

Yeah, for sure. I also think that there's a belief system that is at war within the organization itself. So we are stepping onto or into a battlefield because we didn't— typically soldiers didn't make the war. They're simply fighting the war.

Hmm.

And so you have a mission statement, a philosophy, a goal. You have managers and supervisors supposedly personifying that, promoting that, advocating that company's mission or goal or what have you. And then we, as sort of the soldiers, the workers, we experience incongruency with that. And so then that creates a war as well. Who are we fighting? We fighting our coworkers? We fighting our supervisors? We're fighting the man? Are we fighting the system? Like, who are we fighting?

Right.

And as you know, we typically go home and fight with our spouse rather than fight with our work people.

Yeah.

So I think there's just so many elements here. So a war story. Well, as you both said already, there's so many of them. where to start. Can you give me maybe a concept or a word or something that comes to mind and I'll think of one?

Okay. Well, I mean, we could do it a couple of ways. We can, you know, first thing comes to mind is a lot of people deal with that passive-aggressive behavior. So if you have a scenario where you think about a situation where someone was being passive-aggressive, or we have these characters that we've been, we've been, you know, vetting through that we're gonna be using for, You know, the show. And, uh, you know, some of the characters are, you know, Feisty Felicia or Militant Mike or Sheila Should Have Been Retired or TMI Tina, right?

Yeah.

And, and just for the listener, these characters is a representation of personalities that our audience members have, have. When we ask the question, they just start just blurting out all of these different names fluently.

Yeah.

And if you, if you was to go to my social media page, you'd see me ask the question and you'll see over 100-some comments, which to me validates that this is real, right? We're not making it up.

Oh yeah.

And that, and there's a lot of commonality.

Yeah.

So it's either Lying Linda or Lying Larry, either Feisty Felicia or Feisty Fred, right? Lazy. Like, yeah, it doesn't matter the gender.

No.

People can identify For sure. With these type personalities. So, for sure. Did any, anyone else—

I love the, uh, Sheila should be—

everybody knows her or him. You're just like, really just let it go. Yeah.

Well, first, um, coming from an academic sort of point of view and a professor of social science, I would like to preface this conversation with we have the same characters in all environments. We sort of just plug and play.

Mm-hmm.

Um, because that's what we believe will be in all environments. And so it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Many of us have not worked in a utopia workplace. And so we go into the workplace already trying to identify who is the Lazy Larry, who is the Sneaky Sheila, who is the Flirty Frank, right? We're already working at making sense of our environment. And the way we make sense of our environment is to size you up and figure out what to do with you.

Yeah.

And all I know, right? I know, I know. They don't teach you that in the HR.

One, one angle is Sheila should have been retired. Uh, that's what I first come to mind is, uh, is someone who is in the way, so to speak. And it's kind of clear, you know, because sometimes we have to call it what it is. Now, how we go about doing it is a whole nother conversation. But what would you say to that? Then I want to let Cass tap in.

Yeah, I did have that experience. So as a new professor, I was being evaluated by someone who had been there forever, a department chair, should have been retired department chair. It was a very small rural community college. So a department chair who Probably had in his belief that you know he was more in tune with like a Rutgers University or something. Been there a long time, and I was new. Okay, so he came to evaluate me, and part of the evaluation is: Does the instructor bring in outside resources to the students? So not just her own beliefs and attitudes and values, but outside resources. So we were talking about logos, pathos, and ethos. Anyway, long story. So I brought in a couple videos, and I showed the videos, and they were of a woman. So, I'm showing these videos. I'm thinking I'm very— this is awesome. I've got all these different resources. I'm showing YouTube video. I'm showing a TED Talk. I'm lecturing. The students do an activity. Then they do group work. I mean, that's all— like, it's in. So, I'm feeling very good about this. I get called to the formal evaluation review. He lays the sheet on the table, and he says, I'm going to let you read this. I'm going to leave the room because I feel like you're going to get emotional.

Oh, my gosh.

So already kind of just assuming how I'm going to act, probably because I was a young woman. And so, um, I read it, and essentially the gist was that because I didn't show— because I thought so highly of myself that I not only lectured, but I showed recordings of myself. So he thought this lady was me talking because maybe all white people sound alike. I'm not sure. Um, he said it was me. And so He said that not only would I not teach there again, but that he would do his best to make sure I didn't teach anywhere again.

Wow.

And I didn't cry.

Okay.

And he came back and he said, oh, I'm surprised you're not crying.

He actually said that?

He actually said that. And he was a pretty big, tall guy, and I, you know, I'm a pretty little person. I'm sitting down, he's standing up, and he says, oh, I, I'm surprised you're not crying. And I didn't really know how to respond other than to say, you know, to not respond to that and to say, you know, what is like what is it that I can clarify about what you know, etc., etc. And he really didn't want to hear it. He said that was you. I don't know why you would say it wasn't you. It was your voice. I clearly know what I'm talking about. I've been doing this a long time. Um, so you know, I said, you know, well, I appreciate your input and your feedback, and I am really disappointed that. As a communication professor and social scientist, that you are very closed-minded. And to which he just opened the door and ushered me out. So I guess you're asking, what's the lesson in that? What do you do with that? I don't have an answer specifically for what you do with other people, other than what does that mean for me? Did it bother me? Did it hurt me? Did it stunt me? Did it stop me? Did it propel me? Because I think for me, the best way to handle workplace war is to simply figure out my position.

Yeah.

I can't change you. I couldn't have grappled the gun away from him.

Right.

He took his shot and hit me right between the eyes. I mean, you know, And, um, so I swallowed the loss, which didn't end up being a loss because, um, I found mentors and, and people to help me figure it out. And, um—

But how did you feel in that moment though, right? Like when he came in and he's condescending and sarcastic, oh, I thought you'd be, you know, teary-eyed right now, and just very insulting, then insinuate, insisting that this video is you. Like, how insulting is that? Like, for me to tell you it's not me? And you're like, what? Like, how you gonna tell me that it's not you? And it's like, yeah, 'cause it's not me. Like, so to be like that and then not even give you any room, like, there was no negotiating. It was just like, it was a wrap. So that had to— there had to be a feeling there.

I was defeated beyond defeated.

Yeah, that's what I talk— let's talk about that first.

I, um, exterior posture stayed pretty stoic, and my interior posture was on the floor.

Mm.

Um, I was extremely defeated, walked out of there straight to my car and broke down, cried, defeated. Um, just couldn't wrap my head— just so much, especially that someone that essentially I would look up to because this person is in a, is in a more successful position than I am, longer in the field, etc. Was just so incongruent with my thoughts about what a person of his position would be. Um, so yeah, extremely defeated. And, and I think that's why anyone working should have a circle, a mentor, a person they emulate, even if it's a celebrity. But you know those silly bracelets, what would someone do, right? Anyone. Like, so what would my mentor do? What would— um, it's almost like AA. You have to call them immediately, you know, and say, I need help here, right? Um, but yeah, extremely defeated. And the, the warrior in me— I don't know how— what rating we have this podcast, but the warrior in me was—

Let it go.

You know, fuck you, fuck this, fuck that.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, You know, but the key there is the warrior in me.

Yeah.

So I'm gonna fight back, right? Um, but I'm gonna fight back in a way that's gonna work for me.

And I think that's super important because I know that there's a listener, someone's gonna listen to this and they have moments that they feel defeated at work for whatever reason. And understanding that It's okay for the feeling, right? So I want to get— you got me, right?

Mm-hmm.

But then the next thing I have to do is I have to move forward. I have to stay in motion. And so you reached out to get a new, a different perspective from someone. You needed someone that you respected and admired to hear what happened and then reassure you. Like you told me before we turned the mics on, to make sure you bet on yourself. Don't forget, that's their loss, which is very hard, right? People hate to hear that in that moment. But the reality of it is when you double down on yourself and you work things through, the next door will open, right? Or the next opportunity will be there, but you got to be in a position to get it.

You do. And I'll tell you, this mentor, these people cannot be your best friend or your family because they're going to tell you that regardless. And quite honestly, they don't know shit. They really don't.

Right.

You have to not only have a mentor who knows something, but who you know will tell you the truth. Like, yeah, you were wrong, or yeah, you need to step up your game, or yeah, he had— he made some valid points, or whatever that is. Um, we ultimately wrote a letter, never sent it. You know the story, you know, uh, the process of that. Wrote a letter, it was a dang good letter, right? And once I wrote the letter, it wasn't my intent not to send it. But once I wrote the letter and kind of vented and processed it in a way that was logical, put it in words that I could say in a letter and not just, nah, I was like, I'm good.

You were able to release it.

Yeah.

That's good.

And before we let Cass in, I know what you meant when you said the letter, but what if somebody didn't? They missed that. This, this exercise, if you will, of, you know, putting something in a writing form after you went through something. What— tell us a little bit about that.

Yeah, so it's the— it's a process of essentially releasing your thoughts, your attitudes, your values, your beliefs in a way that is productive to addressing them. So it's not simply just venting, you know, it's not the old adage of light a fire and burn everything and you'll be done with it, right? It's more so that you can see it and you write the sentence. And, and when sometimes I, when I would write a sentence, I'd say, well, that's not exactly true.

Right.

That's what I believe, or that's what I'd like to say, but that's not really true. And so you start to process in a way that's more objective, more, um, you have a more of an ability to assess it in a way that makes sense. Um, also some people prefer to role-play, so You would be that, that person, him, and I would be me, of course, and then I would talk to you. Um, I'm not as big a fan of that because I think it can get off track.

Mm-hmm.

A lot of us don't like to write page after page after page, so we stick to being concise and direct and assertive. I think that's important. Um, so yeah, you write the letter and you get out how you want to say it, and you know, we We tend to be nicer to people than to ourselves. So when you write a letter, you're usually more pragmatic, you're usually more objective, you use nicer words, probably more intentful than just fuck you. And so, um, I mean, that'd be a nice short letter, and a lot of people deserve it, right? But you know, that, that doesn't help anybody. Well, it might help me, but, um, so yeah, uh, I think that's a great— choice. It's an opt— good option.

Nice. And lastly, what character would you call that gentleman if you had to give him a character name? What would you—

Well, he should have been retired.

He should have been retired.

Because he had too much power over— in other words, he wasn't acting as a mentor anymore. He was acting as an all-knowing and someone who could decide the fate of somebody else.

Yeah, I think they got a somebody-know-it-all character to it.

Yes, it was a know-it-all.

Um, You know, but sometimes know-it-alls are just in it to shame you in a meeting. Then there's the know-it-alls who I think they have the power. And I think it's the power in his position. So, you know, Powerful Pete or whatever.

Like, yeah. Powerful Pete.

Yeah. Powerful Pete was like power pushing Pete.

Power pushing.

Right. Because power pushing Pete. That's what it was. When he said on that evaluation, I'll not— I'll make sure you don't only work here, but you don't work anywhere.

Yes.

The audacity.

Mind you, I left and got a job at ASU. But yeah.

Yeah, the audacity. Like, just because he didn't believe in something or didn't like something, he's not only going to smash on you now, he wants that—

Yeah, just to injure her.

Like, it's not like I did something unethical. You would have thought that I was stolen.

Evil Eric.

He is Evil Eric.

He has the Power, right?

Like, or Dictator Dawn.

Yeah, let's get some character.

I'm just dick.

You know what I'm saying? Cassie, you've been very patient.

I have. Did I do good? You know, it's hard for me not to yell.

I was over here looking at the timer. I was like, she's holding it down.

You know, one of the only people that can kind of keep me tempered is my person over here.

Yeah, I love you.

I know you do.

All right, Cass. So Just for the record, so Cassie is my wife of 10 years.

It's been that long?

Oh, details are sketchy. Short, I don't know.

I don't really know.

And when we were talking about Workplace War Stories, you know, I thought I knew this lady, right? And then she swears she's told me this before, but I have not heard this. So I'm like, babe, come up with this podcast, this Workplace War Stories, give people opportunity. You know me, I'm just spitting my stuff. I'm like, it's gonna be this, it's gonna be that. And she was like, yeah, I got tons of work stories. I'm like, you do? Like what? And she said—

I was like, oh yeah, I had slapped my boss one time. And he was like, what?

I wish you would have been there that day.

No.

And I was like, wait, what?

So he was like, what do you mean? I said, well, he pushed me and I slapped him. And he was like, what?

Why?

I said, I don't know. I just reacted, right? You put your hands on me. That's my natural reaction. Yeah, that literally actually happened. I was a lot younger, I will say that.

I was in my 20s. Put it into context.

I was in my 20s. I was working. It was a very eclectic, uh, environment, right? So without, you know, we don't use names and stuff, but it was— I'll say I was— you didn't even know I worked in the city. I was working in San Francisco, so it doesn't happen often. And it was a situation, and I was— this, this person was always all over the place. This, this He owned the— I don't want to say it without saying it, but he owned the— it was a school. I'll just say that.

Okay.

That doesn't give you too much. And he owned it. And he was just all over the place. And this was one of those moments. And I was trying to tell him about something that a kid, somebody we owed money to, and they wanted a refund. And he got real flippant. I was like, we need to— oh, and he just said, I don't want to. And he just pushed me. And, you know, my—

So wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on. Okay, so you guys—

I'm not leaving anything off.

Right, hold on. I want to make sure it's clear. But you're having a conversation. Let's slow this down.

We were having—

You're having a conversation and you're letting him know that somebody needed a refund, right, for something. And then you just jump—

so wait, okay, you made the statement and he was like, I'm not dealing with that, I don't have time. And I was like, well, they're on the phone.

So what was going on with him at the time? Did you— what made him just be like—

He— that was his personality. He was very much—

What kind of personality is that? What kind of character?

Oh, Explosive Eric?

Or he was like all over the place Alan. He was just, um, I actually think he was on acid or something most of the time. Like, he was very—

Acid Aaron? I don't know.

He was just, he was like I said, he was just like out there where the buses don't run most of the time.

Okay.

But he had a skill set that was very unique and that people paid for. So that was what people came. But he always had conflict with people all the time. It was not You know, just unique to me. He had conflict all the time, and again, and in this moment, and I was telling him what we needed to do, and you know the person was threatening to sue the school and all this, and he was just, and it just got he just got frazzled, and he would do this all the time and have moments and explosive moments, and then say, "I forgot to take my medicine this morning," or "I didn't have my coffee." He always had a reason. He'd come back and apologize, and I you know in this for whatever reason, I don't know. What? And I was talking to him, I was like, no, we need to deal with it now. And I kind of was like, before he was trying to leave the room and he pushed me out of the way, and just my instant reaction was to slap the shit out of him. And that's exactly what I did. And then it was funny because actually the police came and, um, and I, and I actually—

Background checks before I get married.

I had a background check. I told him about this. Wedding war stories.

Wedding war stories.

I told him about this He, um, they came and he at that time, he still had a very, very red, very fresh handprint on his, on his cheek from where I smacked the dog shit out of him. And so, you know, they— I told him the story and he was like, well, I don't remember pushing her, but I, I probably did. And I was like, you absolutely did. I wouldn't have just slapped you. I mean, that's— I've— that's not my MO, right? And so the police were trying not to laugh and said, well, gonna just call this a draw because he clearly, even if he was the one who put his hands on you first, pushed you, he has a very clear handprint on his face still. And this was like 45 to an hour after it happened. So clearly, I just told him, you know, I got my check, my last check, clearly. And I, and I hopped back on board and went home. But in hindsight, had I just, you know, not react I don't know. In hindsight, I probably would have still done the same thing. I can't say I'd have done anything different. And not—

Even today? So, so because you preface it by being young, so even today, if somebody put my hand—

their hands on me, it's a wrap.

It's a wrap. I, I can't.

Uh, yeah, I just— I'm, you know, depending on the certain— you know, again, wait, you'd have to take into consideration the circumstances, who it was, what's going on with them. But just in general, yeah, I'm very much a— I'm all about peace and love, but my fire, whoo!

That's where that spiritual gangsters come from.

It definitely does.

And I do like to tell people when it comes to emotional intelligence, right, because someone will be like, well, that ain't EI. Oh, it wasn't? Well, when it comes to people putting your hand— so emotional intelligence does not mean you do not get pissed off at people. It doesn't mean you don't feel, right? Emotional intelligence, like, you identify the emotions You try to be smart about what you're doing.

Right.

And so, but if somebody puts their hands on you, I think like when I, how I practice EI now, where if you back in the day, you put your hands on me, you'd probably come up missing, right? Like it'll be like a wrap. Like I'd go to the extreme where today I probably would just get you up off me and then go on about my business. I'm gonna get my lick back, but I'm done with it. But 'Cause I have more thought about how I respond to things. So it's not, the man put his hands on you first. Yeah, he pushed me. You responded.

It was different. He pushed me. I could have pushed him back.

I didn't have to slap him. Well, I mean, that's all subjective.

But I could have punched him. I didn't punch him. I didn't ball up the fist.

And that's what I was gonna go to. Like you didn't old school mollywop him.

Oh, but it was such a disgusting, such a just humiliating slap.

The slap though was—

It was probably worse than a punch.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So you got your last check.

Like the Will Smith?

No, like damn near some baby powder in your hand and then smack them. It was one of those. It was a good— ooh, the sound heard across. I can remember, I can feel it still.

And so that's funny.

So you got your last check and had to find a new job on your way home.

And because the end of the day, we want to be able to protect our peace at all times and at all costs. So let's just go. We're ready to start wrapping it up, but I want to go back around, see if anybody got any Additional thoughts around this conversation of workplace war stories?

Thank you. And wow.

Hey, won't nobody put their hands on me.

I'm sticking with her.

I got your back, sis.

And I've been here the whole time.

Um, wow.

Okay.

Right.

Never slapped nobody. Thought about it.

Oh, I slapped several I'll just say this.

It's really interesting that what sort of got you, what supported your decision to this day is that your ethics, your mission, protect the kids at all costs.

At all costs.

And your mission essentially was to do the right thing. And I think that if you get nothing else is a take-home message. For example, if you sign up to be an advocate for children, then you're going to have to find your voice and be an advocate for children. You have to. If you sign up to cover a shift and to do the right thing, then you got to do that, right? I always choose humanity over jobs and everything else. And I have, you know, the ability to do that in a lot of ways. So I always choose humanity. If I feel like a policy is inhumane in some way, or What I'm being asked to do goes against humanity, I'm out. Policy manual or not. And I think, I believe you can't sign up for any work position until you know your policy. Your policy.

Yeah, I like that.

Yeah, I love that.

I like that. And I, I, that— thank you for that because that's true. Um, you definitely do. And as an advocate And for me, and I think that's probably why we are as bonded as we are, we both have this thing about injustice. If we see injustice anywhere, we're just like, ready? You're just gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna, um, you're gonna paper, you're gonna pencil whip their ass to death, and I'm gonna— and yeah, so you know how that story ends. But it is what it is. It works. It's our balance, right?

I feel you.

Spiritual gangster.

I'm the academic gangster.

You absolutely are. You absolutely are. But the truth of the matter is, and I mean, poor DB, because I was very good at going to work and being totally professional every day. I smiled. He had no— I think we probably were married probably a year before he knew how feisty I was. And so he's had so many conversations where people are like, oh, like, how did you not know? Right? And I just say, well, you don't read the fine print.

Well, it's contextual. You didn't have to be feisty with DB.

I did not.

Right.

That's true.

And so you're listening to Workplace War Stories, and today we have Miss Cassie and Suzanne on, uh, them DB Bedford, the EI guy. This was a great conversation. You know, this is, uh, you know, we're piloting, you know, this podcast and we're just talking things through, and we want to make sure that you, uh, the listener, you love it. And we're looking forward to all feedback when it comes to Workplace War Stories. We definitely want to hear your workplace war stories, so feel free to send an email that'll be connected to this audio. And if you want to come on as a guest or you want to send in a scenario, we'll definitely roundtable and have some conversation around it. I will close by something that Suzanne said, and I think I don't want us to miss that. And when you do end up getting a job, right? Or your career. They're supposedly policies. Now, sometimes they're outdated, but there's policies, right? The, the, the conversation is around being governed by something. There is a way that things should be done that has been agreed upon. And for most, for the most part, that's what you follow. But what she said that was really, really important is the policies that you have for yourself, your own SOP, right? Standard operating procedure. And so for me, mine is rooted in emotional intelligence, right? So I govern myself about my ability to be self-aware, manage the way I respond to things, situational awareness in the relationships around me. And that is my SOP amongst other things. But when things are happening or I'm interacting, like this is what I'm governing myself by. And I would encourage you that anyone that's listening, What is your SOP? What is your standard operating procedure? Because when you have your policies and you keep them updated, then 99% of your decisions are already made. And you'll know when those times come and it seems like you just can't, you know, you just can't take it no more, you just don't know what to do next, you know, go ahead and govern yourself by the policies that you have assigned yourself to so that You know, you don't have to waver over what's next, right? Just do what's right. Do, do, do what you know to do and don't second guess it, and you will certainly come out on top.

Yep. Peace, love, and happiness, but don't take no shit. That's it.

All right, peace.