What's your actual preference?

27 Aug 2026 · 1 min

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This content was created by Dr. Aziz. This content was uploaded by Dr. Aziz. This is a YouTube video titled "What's your actual preference?" (uploaded 2026-08-27T19:00:36Z) featuring Dr. Aziz speaking alone about boundary-setting. Dr. Aziz explains that setting boundaries begins with identifying your own preferences (e.g., whether to accept requests or attend events, even small choices like shoes on/off at home), notes that the mind and body give signals about those preferences, and observes that people who are overly "nice" often suppress those signals.

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In order to be able to have a boundary in the first place, you have to know what is your preference. So that's the first step. What is my preference here? Do I want to do this thing or not? Do I want to deliver this work request in the way that they're asking of it? Or does that feel like they're putting too much on me? Do I want to show up to this friend's thing that they're inviting me to? Right? This shows up everywhere in your life— behaviors, interpersonal dynamics, what you do with your time. Everything. And so it starts with, what is my preference? And just think about, do I want the shoes off or on in my house? And here's the thing. Your preferences are real and you have— and they're there. They're like undeniable. I'm not saying you automatically set a boundary on every single one and demand it and get it. But the fact that your mind and body are giving you constant signals about what you really want and what your preferences are, of course that's happening. And if you're super nice, you've suppressed that.