Fixers feel guilty saying no because they tie their own emotional stability to managing other people's moods. Dr. Aziz explains how they automatically assume responsibility for calming others, even without knowing why they're upset, and experience intense guilt when they can't fix someone's feelings.
The person who feels extremely guilty for saying no is also the same pattern that feels responsible for everybody, everybody's feelings. Where is that person sad over there? Well, then it's my responsibility to make them feel better. I should probably reach out and connect with them. Oh, that person's upset. Well, it's probably, it's my responsibility. I don't even know why they're upset, but there's some compulsion in my body to go calm them down so that I can feel okay.
