In this monologue, Dr. Aziz explains how excessive self‑monitoring—constantly checking eye contact, worrying about facial expressions like blushing, and trying to say the "right" thing—interrupts genuine presence in conversation. This internal chatter pulls attention away from the speaker, causing a loss of the conversational thread and leading to the common experience of forgetting what to say mid‑sentence.
How on earth can I be listening to you talk and come up with a spontaneous natural response that keeps the conversation flowing if instead of listening to you and looking at you and being present with you, I'm tracking, how's my eye contact? Was that too much eye contact? You should look away. Nope, don't look away that long. That looks weird. Okay, no, you're staring at them now. Don't stare at them like that. Meanwhile, am I blushing? I wonder if I'm blushing. My face feels a little hot. That probably means I'm blushing. Well, that's really bad. Uh-oh, uh-oh, it's time for me to say something. I'm not sure if I'm blushing. Something, what am I going to say? I got to say the right thing. Don't say the wrong thing.
