Aligning Your Life with Your Deepest Aspirations with Emily Williams

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U Turn friends. You know that I love to bring you a friend in my network, especially when I haven't gone to ask them questions about the work they actually do. And now we're about to enter a freebie coaching session for Ashley Stahl. Just kidding. But maybe. I have so many questions for Emily Williams today. If you haven't heard of her from I Heart My Life, she. She is a podcast host, she's an author. She is a mentor to women. Whether you've worked with her to learn how to really scale and build an online business, or now she's really focused on mindset coaching, really getting to the heart of what you really want. And as somebody who's been building my agency, Wise Whisper, and booking and writing so many TEDx talks and scaling my team, obviously that's present is like, it's so easy as you're building something to just get in the build. And I think I'm having a good time, but I haven't really asked myself the past eight months, well, what do I really want outside of, like, free time, time to connect with my friends. Flexibility. These little ingredients that make me me. So we're going to talk to Emily today about how you can really get into what you truly want. And that is a game of mindset.

So.

So, Emily, thank you for coming on the show.

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited about this conversation. Yes.

I. I feel like we've crossed paths so many times, and it's. It's kind of wild to me. Like, is this really our first time doing a podcast interview? Can that be true?

I know. I heard you on my friend Hannah's podcast a few months ago. I was like, yeah, me too. I was like, I have to talk to Ashley. I have to interview you. But I'd also love to be on your show because I've been in a huge place of piv, really dialing in on exactly what you just described. Working with ambitious women on really uncovering what they actually want, not what they've been doing on autopilot, not what they think they want, but, like, getting to the core of what it is that really creates their dream life.

Right. Okay. So I feel like even just this idea of dream life, I feel like as millennial women, we grew up during, like, how to Lose a guy in 10 days and, like, Devil Wears Prada and all these movies that really kind of amplified this idea of dream job. Like, this is my dream job. And. But then a lot of these movies showed how hard the dream job actually was. Right. Like Devil Wears Prada. She got to be this assistant to this woman and go to Paris and. But ultimately it was a really hard, brutal job and she realized that she wanted happiness. And these was Anne Hathaway, right. And Meryl Streep. So I feel like we're in an era now where there's so many questions about, like, what is a dream career? And after wearing my career coach hat for like 12 years, I've, you know, released it. And I'm so curious, like, if you really tune into yourself, like, what do you think that really means now to like, find a dream career or to find success or happiness?

I think it means something different to everyone. And that's what I've always been about. You know, on my podcast I Heart My Life show, I always ask all of the guest experts, how do you create a life better than your dreams? Because everyone's version of that is different. And it was really hard for me as a business coach to last 10 years to help women create a business because oftentimes it wasn't what they actually wanted or what they wanted me to do for them was completely different than what they thought. They actually needed someone to help them tap into what it is that they wanted for their life first, and then we create a business around that. And so I don't think it's a simple answer. And that's what makes it so hard because you could look at somebody and think that they have a dream life or dream career, but then when you get in it and you feel into it, it's nothing like what you expected and it's not actually what you want. And so I really think we have to start at like the ground up and ask ourselves, what is the ideal vision for our life? What do we want to be doing every day? How do we want to be spending our time? We can get into more questions, but I really think that's so important before you set off on the path of trying to fulfill this. This need for a dream career or this aspiration. Because it's going to be different for everyone. Yeah.

I actually personally feel so conflicted because one of my top core values is freedom and self expression. Expression. And everybody around me growing up has been like, Ashley, you could never. I've always want to be a mother, which I'm so curious how that's been for you, being a mother and having business and juggling that. But I've always wanted to be a mother. But then all my friends are like, yeah, but we could never see you fully stepping out of your career because you seem to, like, really have that impulse to work. And in a lot of ways I do. But I've also never had true financial freedom to, like, really live the life I want to live without having to work. So I don't even know what that. What that sauce tastes like. And so I don't know if I would still be drawn to work or not. I do think I would be bored and I would want something to do and I would want to have creative pursuits. But I think a lot of people almost think they have these. These dreams, and they don't actually know if they would want them. So where do you begin with somebody to start to kind of, like, excavate and get connected to what's true for them?

Well, I really resonate with what you're sharing because I waited till I was 38 to have my daughter, my husband. I have been together for almost 12 years. It wasn't that I couldn't get pregnant. It was really just a choice of I'm going to wait until the business is perfect, so to speak. And I have all the freedom in the world to then devote. To devote time to being a mom. And it freaked me out, the thought of not having enough time for my child and being, you know, in the beginning of my business, I was working 80 to 100 hours a week. I was like, this is not going to be sustainable. This is not what I want. And the ironic thing is, is my business completely imploded the year I had my daughter. And I have just starting to share this because I'm just coming out on the other side. But I thought I had this whole thing figured out and it would be the perfect time to have her, but it ended up being the worst time. And at the same time, you know, it was such a blessing to have her. And I think she's the only reason I kind of made it through to the other side. And so, of course, it worked out perfectly. But I think one of the biggest things to speak to in terms of what you just said is that I don't really believe that we have to choose one or the other. And so you get to decide what makes you a whole person. I'm always going to be ambitious. I'm always going to go for my dreams. I'm always going to have a big purpose and a big vision. And part of that is also being a mother. And so I'm like a whole person, right? It's not just one or the other. And so really figuring out what that looks like and I had a spiritual reading a few weeks ago, and the woman said to me, you know, your daughter chose you, and so whatever's best for you is going to be best for her. And that hit me like a ton of bricks, because I questioned, you know, what if we want to travel a lot? What if we want to homeschool her? You know, what if I'm speaking on stage and she needs to come with me? Like, is that going to be good for her? And this woman reminded me that she chose you, and so you don't have to worry about any of that stuff.

Wow. What a beautiful reframe. And I know some people have a belief that would align with that. Some people may not see it that way, but I think, you know, beliefs are made up. So I guess, like, why not believe what feels right? Okay, so, number one, having a business implode when you kind of thought you made it, I feel like that's so common. Like, and I feel like entrepreneurship is such a doozy. Like, three weeks ago, I was like, shoot. My company has three months of cash reserves left to cover three months of team. And then it was like, so many clients came in, and then I had an entire year of overhead covered in one swoop, you know? And I feel like it's like we're always facing the brink of what feels like failure and success all in the same drink, you know?

Totally.

How do you help women regulate their nervous system? Because I feel like that's the biggest thing, right? It's like, it's hard to do anything when you're anxious. It's hard to focus. It's hard to do a good job. It's hard to be insightful. It's hard to. Hard to. Hard to. When you can't think. So how do you help people get back into their body so that if the business implodes, if this happens, they can find that state that they can keep coming back to what they want.

So, for me, it's always about having this connection to my purpose and also an abundant mindset. And so I knew during that time that this was all a part of my journey, for whatever reason. And I always believe that anything I go through, challenge or otherwise, is in service to my mission. It's in service to what I'm teaching the world. And so in some way, I was going to be able to give back or have a better impact through this lesson. Right. And sometimes it's hard to see it that way because it's so painful, and you just want to get out of it. But that's what I always believe. And I also believe that the money's always there. The thing you desire is always there. And when it comes back to desire, work, that's really the core of it for me, is if you feel you're called for something, then that means you are, because you wouldn't have that urge, desire, thing that you want unless you were meant for it. And it's possible because if we think about it, we all have really different desires. And you. I kind of lost your question a few minutes ago in terms of where we start with.

I asked you about regulating your nervous system and getting grounded. And so I think the desires are huge because it's really hard to hear or feel what those desires are when your nervous system is just, like, coming undone.

Exactly. And that's why it's so important that that's where we start, especially with entrepreneurs, because you have to come back, back to like, this is what I want. Even if it's challenging, I know this is what I want. I'm building something, I'm learning something. And I'm not saying you always need to be positive and that the anxiety won't be there or that the fears won't be there, because of course. But I like to think about it as bounce back ability. Like, how quickly can you bounce back? Can you feel what you need to feel, go into it, experience it, and then move through it? And for me, that was a lot of like, again, mindset work, but also having the right support system around me. So much gratitude for all of the amazing women in my life, entrepreneurs or not, who just reminded me of what I was meant for and what was possible for me. And they never gave up on me. And they, you know, talked me off the ledge many times. And, you know, I think that's what we need in terms of women, is that support and that. That cheerleader in our life, or cheerleaders who are going to tell us that it is going to be okay and you will make it through this and you are strong enough.

I love these reminders. And I feel like having people in your corner that really see you beyond where you are, but, like, what you're capable of and what they really believe to be true about you is so big. If somebody came to you and they were like, I don't even know what I want. Like, I can't even hear what I want. It's gone. Where do you begin?

Yeah, I love this. So I actually have a. A framework that I walk people through. And I feel like there's Three ways that you can get clear on what you want. The first is, of course, just writing down anything that comes to mind that sounds really simple and it actually is, but like listing out anything that's calling you. So it could be that you want to start the business, it could be that you want to work with a next level client. It could be that you want to move countries like I did, you know, 15 years ago. It could be that you want to have a baby, whatever it is. On the flip side, we can also look at what we don't want. So what are we tolerating in our life? So maybe you're tolerating not getting paid enough. Maybe you're tolerating those annoying clients that you know are not your champagne clients and you need to up level. Maybe you're tolerating not enough free time. Maybe you're tolerating living in a house that doesn't light you up or excite you, maybe whatever it is, right? So you have your desires, you have what it is that you're tolerating or what you don't want. And then finally, this one's a little bit taboo. But I like to look at what you're jealous of. A lot of people try and shy away from jealousy, and I don't know about you, but I was taught that it was a bad thing. I was taught to not be jealous. And yet I think it has so much information for us that we can look at to provide clarity. So, for example, when I first started my business, there were people I was jealous of, like Marie Forleo, Danielle Laporte, a lot of the big coaches in the online space. So I started to look at that and I was like, okay, well, what exactly am I jealous of? All right, well, I'm jealous that they get to speak to amazing clients, they get book deals, they get to, you know, have podcasts, whatever it is. And I started to see that jealousy could actually be a good thing because it was showing me what I wanted and it actually allowed me to be in a more abundant space than a space of lack. Because most of the time with jealousy, we're jealous because we don't think we can have the thing, but we actually can. And it's someone literally showing us that it's possible. So it really helped me shift into gratitude for them and possibility and have a more open mind about what would be possible for me. So those are really the three sort of components that I look at when I'm trying to help somebody figure out what they want.

Okay, I Want to make sure I caught those? Number one is. And obviously you can just like write it down. But you talked about what you're tolerating.

Yes. So first, what it is that you. What it. What do you actually want? Like, think about it. You could make a desires list. You could have a vision board, whatever works for you. Then number two, what you don't want, what are you tolerating? What are you sick of? What is up upsetting you? And then three, what is it that you're actually jealous of? Or who are you jealous of? And you can just pay attention to your emotions throughout the day. We all have a lot of clarity within just if we observe our emotions. So if you're scrolling through Instagram and you see someone traveling to Italy. Okay, great. What does that mean for you? You might want to take a trip to Italy and then start to explore that. Whereas if we go to jealousy and think of it as a negative thing, we're like, oh, my gosh, she's in Italy. That's not possible for me. And then automatically you cut off the desire. You don't even explore it. You don't even see if there's a way for you to get to take that trip. Right. So we want to use that jealousy for good.

I love that so much. I love when a woman in business has enough experience to have a framework, because you just have probably worked with so many people over and over that you've caught this. Okay. People are probably very scared to look at what they don't want and what they're tolerating. Because I imagine a lot of your clients are tolerating a lot of things they don't want. And that probably feels very threatening because then they have to undo it. They have to let it go, or they have to explore that. Like, for me, I look at my company, Wise Whisper, we have like around 50 TEDx talks that we're writing and booking for people right now. I have a team of 10. I have a marketing director, I have an CEO. I have all these really. I mean, honestly, the most amazing people I've ever worked with, like, these writers are like, I just. I can't believe I found them. Because, you know, having our business, how hard it is to find a great writer that does better than we do. Like, you know, my creative director, I pulled her from Apple. She was the assistant to see Steve Jobs, and she's like, visioning all these TED Talks with me. So it's like, it just feels so alchemistic to be looking at this, this magic of these people that like truly up level me. Like after this podcast I have a meeting with my marketing director and I'm like so excited to talk to her because she's such a badass bitch. Like, I'm like what do you going for me? You know, and I don't want to lose all that. Right. Like I enjoy that in theory but in order to keep the lights on, anyone who has a startup needs to tolerate we need to eat sandwich sometimes it's just like part of the course. Right. Like and I kind of want to know where you sit on that, like through desires. Because I sometimes feel like the self development space is a little too impulsive. It's like just follow what feels good. And it's like no, you have, there is a dignity to a process. Right. Like and so when I look at my business I'm like, okay, we've had 50 customers in the past eight months. There's two or three that like I really wish I didn't say yes to and they felt like 20 customers for our team, you know what I mean? And I'll spare the details there but like the point being like I wish that we didn't have them, but if I really look at where I was in my third month of business, we really needed that revenue to like keep going, to keep the lights on. How do we navigate that the things we're tolerating and we don't want while also kind of being in that real, real of like responsibility and you know, like building something and you know, any of that kind of stuff.

Yeah, I love this question and thank you so much for your vulnerability by the way. It's really amazing and I'm sure it's really serving your community. So for me, I like to combine the business strategist hat, abundant woo woo mindset, personal development hat. And so of course there are times where you're going to do things for a period that you are tolerating. They're not your zone of genius or your cup of tea or you know, you don't want to do them forever. Like me in the beginning I was working 8200 hours a week. But most of the time that stuff is based on limiting beliefs. So let me explain that further. Was it true that I needed to work 80 to 100 hours a week? Probably not because I wasn't working as smart as I possibly could. Did I know better at the time? No. I didn't have someone teaching me a different way. So I didn't have the knowledge. So I can have Compassion for that person. Same with you. You didn't know necessarily those clients were going to be, you know, crazy or take up so much time. And so you did the best you could at the moment you were in. And also, you know, we could look at it as, is it true that your company needed them in particular to keep the lights on, or could we have found a more aligned client to keep the lights on? Does that make sense?

Yeah. And that brings me into, like, some business questions because I feel like a lot of people are tolerating things as it relates to money, and that's a huge place that I think there's a lot of tolerating because people have responsibilities, etc. Obviously, you're not in that business lane anymore, but I love the way that you're talking about, like, opportunity creation. I think that's a mindset as much as it's like a tactical thing, right? Like, yeah, the mindset of, like, there. There's a better client for me. And you're totally right. From a belief perspective. If I look back, did I know that client was going to be a nightmare? Not necessarily. I had a little inkling because he was super duper famous. And I just had this feeling, unlike his, it wasn't that his standards are high because we are excellent, but it felt like he just felt like he wouldn't be easy to satisfy.

Yeah. So there were red flags.

Red flags, yeah. But I think in that time I was working so hard on my lead generation that there was no belief in me that I could have found a more aligned client. And if I could have, I would have just booked myself up and not taken on somebody like him. So how do we help people believe? Like, what is the reframe on opportunity? And also what is the tactical there? Like, what would you have done in that case? Because I feel like you are a woman of many tactics, given that you've built so many businesses.

So I'm always looking at it from an abundant perspective. So, for example, if we believe there are all the clients that we need in the world and they're all our champagne or aligned clients, how are you going to approach that situation? And so that's the mindset I come at. And so, for example, I believe if there's a, like, a feeling in me that I don't want to offer a service. I was actually doing this the other day with my coach. She was getting me to do an exercise around a new product that I'm putting out into the world. And I was like, this actually doesn't feel good, there's something off. So I literally was just asking myself question after question and just saying, you know, what would make this feel better? What would make this feel more fun? What would make this. So that when I put the email out, I want as many people as possible to sign up because the way I was feeling was, I actually hope no one signs up for this because I don't want to deliver it at this price point because it feels way too low. And so I'm just always, like, running scenarios with myself and just asking myself what would feel more aligned or more exciting or more in alignment with my desires. So if you're in a place where you're tolerating something, just play with different scenarios. Because to your point, you know, a few minutes ago, sometimes people get scared to book sessions with me because they're like, I'm gonna have to implode my whole life. I'm gonna have to end the marriage or turn off the business or whatever it is. And it is scary. But sometimes it's l. A a simple shift or a different way of thinking or upping a price point or asking a dream client for another dream client referral. And so it doesn't have to be as hard as we make it. And that's what the mind is all about. It's about getting us to stop and getting us to stay in the same patterns. And so, of course it's going to make you scared or make you think, like, you need to do things the way you've always done them.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that so much. I love, like, that feedback that it's okay to move towards things that feel like they're going to implode your world. I do think there's a percent of the population that, like, it's fine to be fine. And, like, they just kind of are fine. And I don't even judge them. I'm like, all right, I get that. Like, sometimes it's just fine to be fine. You don't need to implode anything. You can just bop along like a little buoy in the ocean. Like, I don't know.

Totally. And I've even found myself, like, jealous of those people sometimes. Like, why don't they want more? Like, what if? How would it be if I didn't want so much? And so I look at that. I'm like, okay, so where can I calm it down a little bit? For lack of a better phrase? Where can I just, like, be okay with being like this for a little bit? And then we can raise the bar when I feel, you know, ready. And sometimes it's like I need two days of rest. It's not like I need to go to an island. But I think it's important to pay attention to all of those feelings that come up for us.

Yeah, I love that. It's. It's humbling to kind of admit, like, I'm jealous of the people that don't really care right now about this. Like, I. I want to stop caring for a minute.

Yeah.

There is your framework.

Right.

Like, following that jealousy, like, okay, exactly. Not care for a while. I think that's the thing people really resist as humans, and it's so ironic is, like, seasonality and the constants of change. Like, we all seem to want this, like, fixed answer of who we're supposed to be, and we all seem to be resisting, like, the nuance and the seasonality of being human. And I think there's so much suffering that everyone is going through, and they just don't want it to be true that things change and what you want changes. I mean, I. Me and my partner, we talk about getting married, and I'm like, we both. I know we both have, like, this sobriety to the conversation of, like, it's just me and you, and, like, it's a commitment. And we. And I think a lot of people are scared of commitment, but yet they want it so bad. They want that anchored thing. What do you think is happening collectively where so many people have resistance to committing, but then they also have resistance to things changing and things not working anymore. You know what I mean? Like, what do you think that's about?

Well, I think we're always kind of, like, looking for something better, and we think, well, what if I choose something and then all of a sudden something better comes along and now I'm locked in and I can't change. And I also think, like, we look at those seasons and we think about our own identity. Like, for me, I just moved back to my hometown after being away for 15 years, and that brought up a whole bunch of stuff for me. Like, who am I to come to Columbus, Ohio, where I. When I've lived in London and LA and all these exciting places, like, what does that mean for me? And so our identity is so wrapped up in previous choices that we've made, and also in what it means for us if we choose something different. And so I think when we just tune into what it is we actually want and we stop judging ourselves and also stop judging other people, then everything becomes so much easier and we believe that we are always going to get what we, not what we deserve. But like what's available for us is, is if we're tuned into what we want, then it's going to be enough. We don't have to worry about missing out on something or doing it wrong. Like, I had a friend once tell me, she said what would happen if you believed that you couldn't mess this up. And I felt like that was so freeing. And that in my opinion happens when you are tapped in to what it is you actually want to your desires, to what fills you up, what excites you, regardless of what other people think or what you, you should think or should want. And you follow that. And when we're tapped into our emotions, we can get clarity so much faster and we're able to tell, okay, yeah, this is the right path for me, or no, this isn't, or this is the right person for me, or this is the right next step. It's when we have all those judgments and like preconceived ideas of what we should be or what society thinks we should be that we end up on the wrong path.

That's so good. And like, like what a huge identity shift to move back to home. I feel like just going to my parents house in LA up the street in my room from high school gives me like a little bit of a clusterfuck moment. Like what has happened?

I totally know that feeling. And I had that for the longest time because we would just come back here and visit and we would stay in that room. I was like, this is weird staying in my childhood room. But yesterday I went up there because I had to grab something. My daughter, my mom watches my daughter sometimes and, and I had this like wave of emotion rush over me and I was like, this feels so beautiful and I'm gonna cry now. This feels so beautiful here. It feels like so comforting. I had so many beautiful moments here. And so I think for me, like it's been a big sort of shift like in healing to come back here after I resisted it for so long and when I was 23, couldn't wait to leave. And so it's been really healing and really beautiful to like get to that place.

I'm. You've got me. I have the chills. Like it's nice to hear that. And I feel like also what I'm hearing on you and I don't know, I probably just projecting my own thing is like aging has been so weird. Like the difference between your 20s and 30s, like and this kind of plays to our conversation about how much things change, right? Like, and that's something that I just saw all the time, 12 years in career coaching, people being like, like, what is my path? And I'm like, you have paths, like many a path. And people just don't want to pay the cost of admission, which is being in the experiment, trying the things on. I have a level of expertise, I feel in what I'm doing and a level of niche of what I'm doing that is really creating very high success financially and inspiration wise for me. And I just, I look at all my failures and all my experiments and I'm like, I needed every single one. And I hate when people say that because it's really annoying to be in the before and be like, oh, I don't want to go through all this storm experiments. Like, I just want the answer. But that's not what it really means. I think sometimes to become someone, I don't have a belief that you need to have it rough to become who you are, but sometimes I think that's a real possibility that we need to accept. How do you be with yourself in rough times? Because you said your business imploded, you also moved home. Like, that's a lot of transition. How did you take care of yourself?

Yeah, great question. I mean, this is a really tangible answer. And then I'll give you the not. So I guess they're all tangible. I actually started a peer mastermind and I started it selfishly because I wanted to be around other ambitious women. And I also wanted to get access to amazing insight and understand what was working for people, both professionally in a business sense, but also personally. And I wanted to be in a space where I could be nurtured and where I could be supported. And so I created this amazing group of women. There's 26 of us so far. And it's been like literally the easiest thing I've ever done in my business career for the last 10 years. Because it's like everyone has been wanting to get in and be a part of it. We literally just started the last few months. And that's one thing, like coming back to the people. It's how are you being nurtured in your life? How are you growing and expanding? Because I knew I didn't want to just wallow in what was going on. I knew I needed to be supported, even if being vulnerable was scary, which it definitely was in the beginning because these were all women who have known me, a lot of them, for the last 10 years or known me personally or the, the, the person they see online. So being able to be vulnerable with others and asking for the support that you need to be able to move forward. And again, I came back to my desires. Like, I know I'm mean big things, and I'm really blessed in that I have amazing entrepreneurs around me and my family. And so I've seen my dad go through a bankruptcy, I've seen my grandpas go through bankruptcies and bounce back. And so I knew that this was just like a blip in the, in the road for me. So surrounding myself by those people who would build me up. And then I would also say it just comes back to all the mindset work that I've done over the last 10 years. Continuing to read books, listen to podcasts, think about what I really want for my life. Like, I'm not a person who thinks that something just happened, happens arbitrarily. I know that it's happening for a reason. And for me, so what is the reason? Where am I being redirected if this is currently, this scenario? So just looking for the reason behind it and, you know, always looking to the future while also taking care of myself in the present moment. And if there were days where I didn't want to work or I wanted to be with my daughter or whatever, it was giving myself that permission. And then finally I would say, probably for the first time, asking myself what it looks like to be happy in my life, not just in my business. And I think that that whole scenario happened. Basically, we had a program implode which ended up resulting in multiple six figures in debt. And I believe that that happened to kind of redirect me and also get me to look at what I actually want for myself in my life.

I mean, I've had plenty of debt happen to me and I, my, my heart goes out to the fact that you had to navigate that. It's so hard. It, you know, it's interesting. I had debt for four years and I let my business be like a slow simmer. I had so much success, so much money came in. I thought I was going to retire at 28, $6 million in two months coming in. And. And then I lost it all. I held on for too long. I didn't know how to manage money. I kept my team. I didn't choose myself. And you know, to this day, I still have that responsibility. And I try not to think about that. Like, what would I do if the numbers weren't there? Was like, would I keep them again? Like, I feel like I probably would because I just. That's my personality. But I don't, you know, I try not to indulge too much. I think for you, one thing that resonated is like, obviously community can mirror back to you, who you. Who they think you are. And there's so much value in that feedback outside of yourself. Some friends would always tell me, like, when I had a little success happen in that time time, they'd be like, well, yeah, of course, like, that's you. And that was so helpful for me. So I think for the person who's listening right now, and maybe they feel like they've genuinely forgot who they are, what would you want to say to them?

You express it beautifully. So even recently I had a client who's now a dear friend. She just told me, she's like, I think you need to raise your prices on this. Like, I think that your hourly should be much higher. You should be charging this. And I had asked for her feedback. So she was, you know, I gave her permission.

Yeah.

Like you said. Yeah. Like looking to those people who know you really well and know what you're meant for and they see the future vision of you and what it is that you're creating, if it's in a business sense and just asking them for feedback and being willing to take it. And I think that. That sometimes it feels scary. It feels like you're being too vulnerable or you're. It's going to create a lot of vulnerability, but that's where all the goodness is. So just being willing to ask for that feedback and being in those relationships that I like to call that. I think it's Lacy from To be magnetic. She says they're your expanders. So, like, who are the people that expand you and expand your horizons? Make sure you're surrounding yourself by them, not the people who are going to bring you down, who don't believe in you, who are scared of change themselves. Be in those people. Be around those people who create that expansion.

Yeah, Yeah. I think a lot of people are probably listening, saying like, oh, that sounds so cool. I don't even know where to begin to find those people. So now I have no desires and I'm feeling low, and I don't have people to lift me up like Emily or Ashley. Now what? Like, how do I even go find those people? You know what I mean?

Yeah. Well, first of all, with the desires piece, honestly, you can start as small as you want. When I was first doing this work, my desire was to be able to go to a yoga class once a week or to get my nails done. Like, little things. Like, think about what would feel really good to you. Maybe being able to go to Whole Foods, whatever it is, and just start there and kind of, like, pull at that thread. And we want to get you to a place where you're starting to feel excited. So pay attention to your emotion. If it doesn't excite you when you think about doing it, then don't do it. Find something else. Like, give yourself honestly 15 to 20 minutes. Explore. Figure out one thing, and then start taking action towards it. Okay. And then when it comes to the relationships, for me, I've met all these incredible people through being a part of group programs, attending events. You could even do, like, in person, networking locally. There's always people who are up to big things, especially as entrepreneurs. And so just look for other groups of people who are similar to you or obviously think bigger than you and be willing to put yourself in that room. I know as adults, it can be challenging to find friends, and I totally get that. I'm an introvert. And so it's. It can be really hard. But just putting yourself in those groups and being willing to be vulnerable and share what it is you're looking for, what you're craving, what you want for your life, and be as open as possible, and there will be people who, you know, raise their hand to be connected to you, and you can start to develop those friendships.

I love that so much. I actually just went to a networking event last night, Emily, and I was like, oh, my God. I haven't networked since I was, like, 25, because, like, I've been the speaker at the event, so people have come to find me, and it's. I just haven't really gone to big events and, like, unless. And that seems like I sound like an egomaniac being like, I don't really go to events unless they're about me, but it's just been how I've spent my time in event settings. It's either a friend gathering of people I already know, or if it's people I don't know. It's usually been a speaking engagement. And so it's kind of humbling last night to show up at this thing where I'm like, wow, I literally don't know anybody. And this is terrifying. And how do I even begin talking to people? And so for all of you listening who have taken my courses on how to network, remember, it's all seasons. These things move. Okay, what have I not asked you about as it relates to desires and mindset that you think would be really important for us to leave everybody with today.

I think one of the things that inspired me about you is your vulnerability and your willingness to share your full story and also not just the story from the past, but like literally where you currently are today. And so just remember that no one out there is perfect, even if they have this amazing business and they've attracted all of these incredible employees and opportunities like you have, which is, it's just so inspiring to watch. We all have our stuff. We all have our stuff that we're working through. And so don't feel like you have to be perfect, you have to have it all together or that you should ever get to a place where there's no fear, no doubt, no anxiety, et cetera, because our emotions are really, really powerful and telling and, and we can be grateful for them regardless of what side of the spectrum they're on because they can give us so much clarity. So again, don't expect yourself to be perfect or have it all together. We're all human and as we already talked about, like, that means there's going to be different seasons of life, there's going to be ups and downs and that's okay. But of course we can learn how to manage it better, tune into what it is that we actually want and be taking action towards that every day.

Okay, where do people find you? Or if they want to do do some sort of discovery program with themselves with you, where do they begin?

Yeah, go to emilywilliams.com and I also have my podcast I Heart My Life show and I do have one to one coaching so you can book a session with me. We can do a longer package so you can always email me@emily williams.com thank.

You so much for being here with me and sharing all this and opening up about your story. And I hope that this year Emily brings you life like so much rest after that little implosion and enjoyment. So thank you again for coming on.

Thank you, Sam.