5 Tips for Single Dads

Really excited for today's episode. Today we got a pretty straightforward one. We really want to create a lot of value, really want to add a lot to your life. And so we're going to talk about five tips that we believe if you implement in your life will make you not just a better single dad, but it'll just make your life better. Right, Scott?

Absolutely. That's our goal today, is to provide you some. Some outlets, some. Some things that we know for a fact will make your life better as a single dad slash parent. And first and foremost, let's go with support.

Yep.

I think that as a single dad, I can speak for myself. Frank, if you agree, I. I could use some support in. In so many ways, because, you know, we've talked about it in the last couple episodes. Like, I. I've struggled with, you know, various things, like beat myself up for, you know, the decisions I've made, but, you know, they've been made. Yeah. Now it's. I've got a pivot. I've got to make up for, you know, lost time or whatever. And I think if I had, like, a support group almost like, you know, and initially our plan was to create a community online where. Or, you know, once we got enough listeners to come and, you know, as a group, just chat about, you know, anything that's on your mind about, you know, being a single dad. I mean, we want to keep it positive and we want to keep it where everybody, you know, leaves when, you know, leaves the hour or however long it lasts.

Yeah.

And they feel better.

Yeah.

You know, they got something out of it. They got some stuff off their chest.

Had some laughs, had some drinks.

Absolutely. Bring, you know, bring a sixer and bring your, you know, favorite adult beverage, and let's just chat and talk about. And that's the kind of support that I think everybody needs. Mental. You know, we were just talking about it. Mental health right now is a serious, serious situation globally. But, you know, we're going to bring it down to. To single dads. I wish we could help everybody, but right now, if we can help, you know, the. The guys that we initially set out to help, then we're doing our part. Exactly. We would love to kind of start having a group, a zoom call, start maybe doing it every other week and see what our attendance is like. Hopefully it will build. Because I've seen there's a couple of Facebook groups that we are members of, and I. I've seen so many people like, hey, is there anyone in the Richmond area or anyone in the Los Angeles area. Yeah. You know, who cares what area you're.

In just as long as you got.

A phone or a computer.

We can hang out.

Yeah, phone, computer. And you know, and let. It doesn't matter where you know it, where we live because we'll all be together for a little bit and we can all talk about whatever. So that's the first thing, support. And we'll come back to you with some more details before we leave you today.

Yeah, and we'll probably announce that on Instagram, so keep your eyes out on there. Follow us on Instagram at the Single dadspodcast. We'll give dates, times, all that good stuff. Because we also want to do like Instagram lives where people can come on, ask questions and we can just really hang out with you because that's what all this is about. Right? Like, we, we got to get a support system around us. And yes, family is, is great and needed, but I think there's just something special about a bunch of single dads coming together and just chatting about what's going on in their life and encouraging each other, lifting each other up and then going back straight into it head on and tackling everything that you have to tackle every single day. So just be looking for more of that information. Number two, the second tip we want to give you is that you need to find a work schedule that fits.

This is.

If you want to hear more about that, honestly, go check out two episodes before where we're talking about entrepreneurship.

Yeah. Previous two episodes. And, and this is also one of those things. It's like easier said than done. However, you. It's up to you. Because, yeah, as, as a single dad, you have the option to. I mean, I'm sure there are a few exceptions out there, but for the most part, you have the option to figure out what you can do to spend more time with your child or children. And I think a lot of people, without even knowing don't. They just don't sacrifice or they don't budget their time. It's the same way with like, budgeting money. Yep.

Same idea.

And sadly, like 70% of the population in the United States don't have a monetary budget. So it's the same thing. Like, if you want to get your time in with your children, you need to realize, because I'm. I'm guilty. You're guilty. You don't think about, like, certain things that you could have done, you know, could have done differently or. I don't know. I think you have an example.

Yeah, well, for example, I. I love Jordan Peterson. I've brought him up multiple times now on this podcast. So if you haven't heard him yet, you need to hear Jordan Peterson. But he. He made this video, or someone made this video of him, and he was saying that you need to make a damn schedule and stick to it. He was like, everyone hates schedules, but it's because you're creating a schedule that you don't like. He's like, create a schedule that you want to follow, something that you know you're gonna want to stick to. Right? And so with work, it's the same thing. Like, if you don't like working 9 to 5, guess what? You can change that. Regardless of what everybody else in this world tells you, you have the power and the authority and the intelligence and the gifts and the talents and the drive and the reasons to change that. And the opportunities. There's opportunities everywhere. Go out and create it. If you don't want to work a 9 to 5, don't work a 9 to 5. Right now, there's so many people hiring remote. So if you want to work from home, you could work from home. So many different things you could do. But the key is make a freaking schedule that you want to stick to that you. That includes your kids, right? And if I'm being honest, kind of as a single dad, you almost have like a. It sucks to say, but you almost have an advantage to build something, because I don't get my little girl Monday, Wednesday, or Friday. You know, I mean, it's like those extra days where I'm like, I don't have her, so I can actually work overtime in those days to build something that can free me up so that whenever she is with me, I'm fully devoted. And so I would say you got to create a schedule that. That works for you, that you like, and that's gonna honestly help you invest more into your kids. So that's. That's really all I have to say about that.

And I'll add something to it, because this is a great, you know, I guess, example of our differences.

Yes, exactly.

I'm, you know, widowed, whereas Frank is divorced. And so I don't get that. Monday, Tuesday, or I don't have a schedule. I have my son full time. And on top of that, this is.

Why I love this combo, bro. Literally.

And on top of that, unfortunately, I don't have any family support at all as far as, like, if my son's sick, I don't have anybody that could go to school and, you know, take him Home. I have to handle 100% of all of that. Yeah. And by no means am I saying, you know, what was me. It's just a fact. And my point is, is that, you know, without having. Because I know there's a lot of other people out there that for whatever reason, whether they're widowed or it's just different scenario, they too, don't have the ability to have, I guess, a few days where they don't have their child or children. And when that's the case, that's when you have to get real creative. And I'm, you know, I'm finally. Finally got myself back in the gym where I'm working out on the regular basis. And it's been extremely, like, on the forefront of my mind to work with my son. If you've listened to the last couple of episodes about that. And I'm. And I'm making it happen. I've found ways to. To both get my son involved in some things outside of video games. Yeah. And, you know, being at the computer, his grades, straight A's. I mean, really made progress there. And, you know, I feel a lot better because I'm on. I've created more of a schedule for myself. And one. I guess I'm very, very fortunate to be an entrepreneur because I do have that, you know, I can, you know, take calls from the house and go to the office if. If I want and. Or need to or not. So. Which helps, you know, getting into the gym and.

Yeah.

You know, being able to do everything I need to. So anyway, that's. That's what I have to say about that as far as.

Yeah.

You know, you just got to get creative, budget your time. And once you figure out what works for you, you may have to sacrifice a couple of things, but it's doable. And it's just. Just like anything else which people fail to do is consistent. Be consistent with whatever it is. Once you find it, you know, stick to it. For God's sakes. It's for your kids.

Yeah, exactly.

Anything. There's no. There's no better reason than for. For the. The kid. Your child or children. Those. That's what we live for.

Exactly. So Elon Musk said, I chose to bring my kids into this world. They didn't have a choice in it. So they owe me nothing. And I owe them everything. And that hit me. I was like, dude, yes. Because there's so many parents that are like, well, that I've noticed that demand so much of their kids. Like, you should be able to do this for me when I retire. You should this. And it's like when. When Elon Musk said that, I was like, dude, he has a good point. Like, they didn't choose to come here. You chose to have them. So therefore, you lay your life down for them and don't expect them to do that in return because they had no say. And I want to be born. You did anyways. Number three, look for family activities in your area. Do something dope. Get out If. Here's the thing. In relationships, whether it's girlfriends, whether it's marriage, whether it's kids, whether it's friends, you always see a new side of someone when you change the environment. If you can change the environment, you will see a new side of your kids. But bottom line. So is there a carnival?

Check this out. Check this out. I just had this visual or a vision. Take your kid or kids to the dog park before you go. Especially, you see, you know, single dads that are dating and whatnot. Take your kids to the single dad's. Single dad's podcast.

To the single dad's dog park.

Yeah. Well, that's what it is. To the single dad's dog park. And prior to doing so, go to our merch, our merchandise, and buy your kid one of the T shirts that we have.

Oh, yeah.

Which is so perfect. Right? Can you see what is. What does the shirt say?

It says world's best single dad.

Okay, so check this out. You're. You're at the dog park, tons of single women, and your kid has on a shirt that says, I can see it now.

Yep. World's best single dad.

Dude.

You just found your wife or.

Your potential wife or your weekend wife.

Yeah, whatever you. Whatever. Whatever it is that you're into.

But. But that's. That's one really good thing I can think of.

Yeah, no, for real, that. That is very, very true. So you got to look for activities in your area. Change things up a little bit, man. If you're tired of the mundane, don't wait for your kids to change it up. You. You change it up. Same thing if you're dating. If you're dating someone and you're tired of the mundane, you change it up. Come on, man. Like, let's. Let's kick it into gear a little bit.

There are no excuses because there's tons of stuff to do that cost $0.

Yep.

Other than maybe getting to where you're going if you want to. If you want to get to the nitty gritty. But, I mean, there's Tons of things you can do to it cost no money that they will have fun doing.

Yes.

In Dallas we have this like badass park in Clyde Warren. Clyde Warren park in downtown. It's amazingly cool. There's an arboretum near where I live.

Yep.

And man, place gets packed.

Oh yeah.

I mean cars have police directing traffic, but you can, you know, people hike and bike and another really cool place to go. But wherever you live there's, there are things to do. You know, if it's hiking, depending on what time of year, skiing or grabbing a piece of cardboard and sliding down a snowy hill. Yes, any, anything man. I mean but you know, you've got to have, you got to do activities and you know, that's one thing when my son was younger I wished I, I did more of. And so everything I'm saying now would be a hypocrisy to when I was younger because I didn't do these things. Yeah. And. But when, now I'm you know, living with the results. So. And that's why I'm able to tell you, you better do it.

And it's never too late.

It's never too late.

It is never too late to start implementing changes. They just look different. Right. So with a teenage dude, those, those events look just a little bit different than they do when your kid is a toddler. Obviously point number four. Tip number four is going to be don't talk bad about your ex. I popped off on this a little bit on a previous episode.

I bet, I bet a lot a ton of people are guilty of it at some point in time.

Yeah.

And that has to just confuse them.

Yeah. And wait, what?

Well, talking bad about your ex in front of your, you're talking about in front of your. Yeah.

In front of the kid. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

It confuses them to, to some extent. I guess it depends on how old they are and how they, you know, how it resonates with, with them. But you know what it means to them. You know what it means to a 5 year old, 7 year old, 12 year old night and day. Right. So.

And more than anything, it says more about you than it does about your ex. If you're just sitting there talking smack about your ex, it, it's not gonna, it's not gonna go over well for you. It's just not, it's gonna make you seem like, man, like if, like you're not worthy of respect, I guess you could say.

And, and this goes back to like what, what we've spoken about many times. Like when you the things that you do that you don't realize, you know, like raising your kids like that's a.

Big thing that we do that we don't realize. It is true.

It's like if you're, if you're, if you're talking shit about your ex and your kids hear you, I mean, that has an effect on them.

Yep.

And it's just.

Oh, and they'll. They'll remember once they start getting older.

Yeah.

So just like, man, just let life play itself out.

Save it. Save it for our. Our zoom group call.

Exactly.

And then just let it out. Talk all the you want about her. And I'm sure other people join in too.

But a little toxic for my taste, but.

Yeah, but. But that's what it's for. Get. Get it off your chest. I mean, as I said, we just don't sit. We want to keep it positive. And, you know, we're not gonna have a bash fest by any means.

Yeah.

If anything, we've. Like, if you feel that bad, we're gonna make you feel better.

Yes. That's our goal. Exactly.

And we're going to turn negatives into positives or at least try. And you know, again, that's. That's something that both Frank and I do with our real jobs and we, we focus on, you know, positives. I mean, if you look at our IG accounts, it's just all positive. Yeah. And it's. You have to have, have that mindset and it's. It's healthy. If, if you don't have a healthy, positive mindset, then you can't raise your child.

Yep.

How they need to be raised.

Exactly. Even.

Even with me track.

No, even, like with me. Whenever the divorce happened and everything, I didn't talk smack about her at all. Not even on social media. She was blasting me all over social platforms.

That's. It was the worst.

Was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life. And I just felt bad for her in those moments. And people just send me screenshots of stuff that she was posting about me. She went live and was just talking garbage about me. And people were like, bro, you need to, like, say something. I'm like, no, I don't. No. I'm like. Because this says more about that person than it does me. And even right now, me saying this, this isn't me talking smack. This is me declaring facts and delivering facts, period. And I will never, like, even my, my current girlfriend, I never talked smack about my ex to my girlfriend. I told her I was like, hey, she's kind of unreasonable in this area. This area. She doesn't this and that, whatever the facts. And she didn't believe me. And then she saw the text messages and she's like, oh my goodness. You mean. But I'm like, I don't sit there, talk smack about my ex, anything like that. No, because at the end of the day, it is my kids mom. And I want my little girl to grow up seeing that. Man, dad was super respectful. Dad was super honoring. Anytime that I was going over to my mom's, he didn't say anything bad. He was just encouraging me to have a good time with my mom. Always, always, always. And then if on that other end, they're still continuing to talk smack, guess what?

That, that's on them.

Huh?

But I, you know, just like you said, like, it shows so much. Especially if they see like one parent saying bad things. Like if they go to, if your daughter goes to her mom's house and she decides to talk smack about you on the phone to a friend or whatever and she hears it, she may not tell you because kids don't really, you know, in most cases. Yeah. But she, bottom line, she hears it and it affects her. And that sucks because you have no control over that. But the best way, you know, the things we don't have control over, it's all about how we handle them, right?

Yep.

You know, so how you handle it is not by saying, hey, sweetie, we shouldn't talk about, you know, you, you just don't do it. And that's it. That's your, you're setting, you're setting the tone, you're setting the example. When she gets older, she's going to understand, you know, mommy did this, which she shouldn't have done, but daddy never did that.

Yeah.

And that, you know, that will come to, to light at some point.

Yep, exactly.

So what, what you said. Kudos.

Yeah, no, I appreciate that, brother. Tip number five and last one and we'll wrap this podcast up for you gentlemen and gentle women, if you're listening, number five, make time for fun, man. Have some fun with your freaking kids. Laugh, jump, freaking. If it's raining, go out there and run into a puddle. Like, man, we think about the last time, Scott, that you just acted like a child. It's probably been a minute, you know, I mean, or probably not. I don't know. I don't know what you do at home. I'll be honest, I act like a child almost every day whenever I'm at home. And if there's kids around, like, because it's just freeing. You don't have to care about what anyone's thinking. You don't have to. Nothing like that. And for kids, playing is therapy.

Yeah.

Like, period.

When. When my son was younger, you know, we used to, like, he used to be into, like, Incredible Hulk. Incredible Hulk. And be like. And we'd want to wrestle and we'd get on the big, you know, the big king size bed, and he'd be like, all right, I'm Hulk and you're credible. Daddy, take your shirt off. We have to.

Yes.

And would. Would wrestle and I'd just toss him around and then, you know that. Man. Great memories. And I've even got some. Some video footage still on my phone from that. And I miss those days. Enjoy your kids while they're freaking. Three years old, man.

Yeah, no, for real, though.

Enjoy every minute of it. But. But yeah, make make fun, man. Just whether it's like, you know, pretending to be WWF wrestlers on the couch or bed or floor or whatever, there's so many cool things. I mean, we used to build forts.

Yes. Nerf guns, bro. Oh, dude, Nerf guns are the. I literally have four Nerf guns for me and the goose.

I'm so glad I'm not still picking up Nerf bullets.

That does suck.

That part does suck, man. There was that. That freaking Nerf phase, you know, birthday parties, like, every kid gets a nerve thing for. It's like, ah, crap. But. But yeah, I mean, there's just tons of stuff you can do. Um, but if you want to spend money, go do stuff, then. Then you're really unlimited. But yeah, if you want to do things that are just free and fun, go ham. Yeah. You know, let them invite a friend over or friends over, play hide and seek, do whatever they want to do.

Here, here's something crazy, bro. You know, Ryan. Ryan Stories reviews the pretty much richest YouTuber, and he's like 8 years old. All he does is open toys and plays.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Parents. Yeah. So the reason why kids are so obsessed watching Ryan play with his parents. Why do you think that is? Is because there's a deep desire for kids to connect with parents like that. And because we're not. They're not getting it, they're obsessed with watching it. So make some time for some fun and give your kid what they're watching on YouTube. Like, buy them a toy, open it with them, build it, play, and then repeat next week. You don't have to do it every single day. And I get yes Life is tiring and all this stuff. I get that. But, dude, change your diet, get some better sleep, drink more water, whatever you got to do. Drink a Red Bull and play with your freaking kid. Make time for fun. Because that is why they're glued to YouTube.

Yeah. And. And you'd be surprised. Like, I remember when my son was like four years. Four years old. Three or four. And at Christmas time, you know, we got all these. These gifts and, you know, overdid it. And you know what he ends up doing? One of the big boxes that something cool came in, he uses that to play in. It was just sliding down the box over and over.

Just get him boxes next time.

And, you know, so, yeah, it's crazy. And I, if. If my son was. Was eight, I, I don't think I'd let him watch that, to be honest, because 8 year olds have to be allowed to watch that.

Yeah.

So as a parent, you know, I. Well, I, I shouldn't probably. I should probably leave my opinion out of that.

But, yeah, this is how Scott would parrot. And that's okay. We can talk about that. But yeah, no, man, I really do believe that's why kids are watching all those videos is because there's a lack of that in the household right now and they want that. And I get why there's a lack of it. It's because we experience pain too, and we want to be taken care of. But, dude, like, we're not kids anymore. They are. Like, let's not let our childhood trauma ruin their childhood. You know what I'm saying?

No doubt, no doubt.

Yeah. That's it, man. That's all I got.

Well, let's wrap it up and check the single dads podcast on Instagram for dates and times, and we are going to start having zoom groups. Bring some drinks, bring. Bring yourself. Show up.

Yes.

You know, I know there's a lot of single dads out there that want this. I hope you're able to find us and, you know, if you're not interested and you know, somebody that might be, please pass it on. And as we always say, we are super, super grateful for all the support.

Yeah.

You know, to all. Not many of. We don't have a ton of listeners yet, but we're trying to build and we're going to keep going until we do because we know that we can bring help and we can bring a lot to everybody that is a single dad for whatever reason. And we. We want to have fun doing it. So look out for some. Some lives, some Q and A's. That's what I really, really want to do. And please DM us, give us some topics that or issues. And again, if you have any desire to be a guest, you know, share your story with us, we'll contact you and we'll go from there.