Dealing with False Accusations as a Single Dad

Hey, you're listening to the Single Dads podcast, a podcast for single dads by single dads. In this podcast, you're going to be encouraged and hopefully given some practical tools to be able to become the parent that you've always wanted to be and that you know you can be. Hopefully, this podcast encourages you. Make sure that you download the Single Dads podcast app to join our community. Hope you enjoy the show. Hey, welcome back, Single Dad's podcast man. Today we got a. We got a pretty good episode, really special episode, actually. We're going to dive into some pretty deep stuff. We. I know Scott really has something on his heart that he wants to share, and it's. It's all been triggered by, you know, if you heard this last episode, we were talking about the power of community and how being around the right people can trigger the right things in your life and create the right results or at least help you. And Scott was just telling me how this past week that we had one of our support groups and I wasn't able to make it, so I wasn't there. But he was just talking about how powerful it was and how it really encouraged him to open up about something that happened in his life that would be relatable, we believe would be relatable. And honestly, it really is relatable to so many single dads. And probably this probably happens to single moms, too. But, I mean, this one's really going to be specifically for single dads, but he's going to share this story, and I want you to, like, really, really listen. This is going to be my first time hearing it. I want to hear it raw so I can have, like, a, you know, real reaction to it and just real response. But let it. Let it. Let it hit you to the point where you realize that you. You're not the only one. So you're not alone. That's what this whole podcast was about. It's what it'll continue to be about. And then just hopefully he's going to give, you know, just some. Some very simple advice on controlling what you can control and trusting God, universe, whatever it is that you believe in, with. With what you can't control and how everything ends up turning out for. For our good in the long run. So go ahead, brother.

That's an excellent intro. Thank you, Frank.

Yes, sir.

Like you said, this last is our second support group, and it was powerful. I want to thank everybody that showed up and everybody that was vulnerable and shared what they did, and it motivated me to share what I'M about to. Which is. It was a time in my life when I don't think I would. I would have shared this had some people not shared what they did. And for all of you out there who have dealt with Child Protective Services, you'll probably. This might hit home with you in some form or fashion. But after my wife passed away, it had probably been right at three years, and I got a phone call, and it was a lady from Child Protective Services. And she said, our Scott. Scott Fisher? I said, yeah, how can I help you? She said, by opening your front door, first of all. And I said, dang, yeah, I'm actually standing on my front porch. I don't see you. And she was at a previous address, which demonstrated that information that she had was already not accurate. And anyway, I, you know, I didn't have anything to hide. And it's one of those things, like, you don't. When you. When you don't do anything wrong, you don't think about how you're going to handle something. You just. Yeah. Because you're like, I don't have anything to hide. So, yeah.

Caught off guard. And you're just kind of like, what?

So I. I was like, yeah, well, my address is this. Probably 20 minutes from where you are. Come on over. And I said, what, What. What is this about? She said, well, I'll talk about it when I get there. I said, well, you can give me an idea before you come over here, or maybe I won't be here. And she said, well, we got an anonymous tip online that about you being on drugs and some abuse, abusive situations with your son and cheating on your wife. And that was my reaction. I'm like, okay, this lady didn't know what she's talking about. So anyway, at that point, I was like, all right, this is literally just. Just the one big mistake, right?

Even. Is that any of their business if you cheat on your wife? Not saying that you did, but no, I. It's like your Child's Protective Services. You're not here for moral, like, actions.

Well, she. She just said that, and I just kind of let it go. I said, all right, here's my address.

I think this lady's dumb. Not dumb, Misinformed.

Misinformed. And I quickly found out to become a Child Protective Services officer, you go through, at least at this point in time, like six or eight weeks of training, and that's it. And they make 15 bucks an hour, which is about 30 grand a year. So it's not like they're well informed as Far as they're, they're more like very procedural, and they just, you know. But nevertheless, she get, she gets to my house, and so I, I let her in. Nobody was home. My son was at school. And that same day, I had to put our dog down abruptly. So my son was going to come home to that. But I bought tickets, like, really awesome tickets to a Rangers game. It was going to be his first Rangers game. Just to kind of take, you know, the dog having passed off his mind. And then this, this, this, all this happened. This lady is sitting, we're sitting in, like, the front dining room table, and the lady that picked my son up from school was picking him up. And I thought I could get her in and out pretty quick. And I was like, so what? Anyway, so she goes on to tell me that I am accused of being a heroin addict, a meth addict, a coke addict, that, that I sexually abused my son. But even worse, I have parties away at, at another, at, at a, at a friend's house, so my wife doesn't know about it and allow my friends to sexually abuse my son.

Oh, my wor.

I mean, it was so outrageously like, are you kidding me?

Yeah.

And I, I, I said, do I. And does this home appear to be what a heroin addict, meth addict, coke addict would be able to looks like and lives in?

And if you were an addict to all those, would I still be alive?

Right.

It's not one. It's odd.

I'm like, look at my teeth. I, I, I did say something along those lines. I'd be lying if I said verbatim, but I, I did say, like, you want to look? You want to look for track marks? Would you like a tour of my home? Yeah, it'll probably take us half an hour. Yeah, but let's go. And, um, she wanted to go in closets and all kinds of. I mean, but literally, I showed, Showed her my son's room, his closet, my room, my closet, like, everything. And I'm like, does this appear to be anything like this, this. And tell me more. What, this was an anonymous tip. Yeah. Like, from where? From, like, do you even have an IP address? And well, it was from a, a public library. I'm like, okay, so somebody went to a public. Somebody went to a public library. Somebody was targeting me for some reason or another, which I'll get to that. But it was just outrageous. Right? So my son and I told her multiple times, I said, look, I had to put my dog down this morning. My son does not know about it. We have a Rangers game that we need to leave for literally in 30 minutes from right now. And he'll be walking in any moment. And like a dumbass, I allowed her to speak to him. I should not have, I should have said, get out of my house, you can speak to my lawyer. But in my mind I'm like, I didn't do anything wrong. And surely by seeing that what you're seeing and talking to whom you're talking to, you can tell that these are false allegations.

A lot of things have not checked.

Off and, but I guess the law is the law. And when somebody, even when it's an anonymous. So it really gets to me just to even bring it up again. But. And all of you out there who have dealt with CPS understand, I'm sure, and can empathize to some extent. It's just like you don't, when you're innocent, you don't think about the things I guess you should do, like recording things or, you know, saying, I don't know.

Yeah, that's true.

You know, and somebody in the, in our group shared something that was kind of the same situation. He's like, I didn't, I didn't think about like recording or, or doing anything.

Because I hadn't done anything.

And you know, the, the statistics. And he was accused of, of, of abusing his two year old daughter. This guy. Yeah. And you know who he is. He's one of our favorites. And he, I mean, just like me, he probably was like, this is ridiculous.

Yeah.

But nevertheless, it's like, you know, if you have somebody accusing you. And in his case, it was his wife. In my case it was an anonymous person from a public library.

Jeez, bro. Just somebody.

So it was just like, you know what? So I let her talk to my son and he doesn't know what the heck's going on. Right. And she starts asking him questions and it was just. Things couldn't have gone worse. Literally. Like she's, she's like, so I have never spanked my son, never touched him. But when I had a talk, when I would have a talk with him about something, like I'd go in my room and would sit down and. Because I had like a, you know, a big chair. Anyway, it doesn't matter. We'd go in my room and it only happened a couple times and I'd talk to him. Yeah. And so she, she said, well, when, when you get in trouble, what, what happens? And my son replies, my dad takes me to his room. I'm like, oh, My God, son, give her details. I'm like, okay, but.

But what happened?

But here's what's effed up and is she didn't elaborate. Like, okay, does he take you in the room? And what? She just. She just left it at that. And this is being recorded, so it's almost like she. She was dating, like, yeah, like, like anybody.

So.

So I'm like, why would she not say follow up. Yeah. All right. What. What. What does he do? He talks to me, and that's it. You know? But she didn't ask any of those questions. Yeah. She's just trying to make a case, which pissed me off even worse about something that she knew wasn't a case and.

Or she should have known. Like, there's some very obvious things about stuff that was said about you that it's like even just looking at you physically, it would be like, this is not true.

Right. And then I say. And I'm like, so tell me a little bit more about these alleged parties that I throw so my wife doesn't know about. Can you. She's like, well, yeah. Apparently you have lots of parties at friends houses, and your. Is your. And the lady that picked my son from school, he was like, are you the wife? And I said, my wife passed away. And so you're. You. You have been misinformed in every single thing that you said. Wow. You didn't. You know, whoever said this, they didn't know where I lived because they gave you an address that I haven't lived in at least two years. And my wife passed away about three years ago almost. And it was just like, you know, listen, I've got to take my son to. I was still thinking like, God, I got to tell him about the dog. Because he was asking, where's Cooper at? Where's Cooper?

Oh, my word.

It's like. And this lady would. She. She didn't respect. She was just not respecting our time.

Yeah.

Respecting the fact that the dog passed away. I mean, and it clearly appeared she was trying to make a case.

Yeah.

On something that, you know, so I. I screwed up and I lost my temper, and I. I won't say what I said to her, but I threw her out of my house. I didn't throw her out of my house. You gotta watch what I say here.

I didn't physically pick her up. I verbally told her to leave.

Yeah. I, I, I showed her the door and told her. Told her not to let it hit her. Yeah.

In the feet. Please don't let this door hit your Feet, ma', am, is what Scott said.

So miss the Rangers game.

Dang.

Had to tell my son about the dog. Just awful, awful day. And the next morning I realized I better lawyer up, because this lady. Anyway, so I called some attorneys, found some that dealt strictly with this $10,000 retainer.

Dang.

And by the time I got to his office, it was like four o'. Clock. And he said, do you want to hire me or not? Do you have the funds or not? And if so, I need to fax this or have this. The stuff faxed over. So. So they don't call you or summons your psychologist? Because we were both, you know, in therapy, and yeah, I was. I said, yes, I'll hire you. So ironically, my psychology therapist. I was. That we were. My son and I were both seeing calls me and said, what's going on? I just got a fax from cps. And she knew that, you know, in fact, she. Yeah, she knew, like, what the hell is this? But anyway, man, it just turned into an absolute nightmare. All said and done. $16,000 was wasted just to get out of. Well, $10,000 was wasted on an attorney and the other was wasted. I say wasted was. I hired a private investigator, so I wanted to find out who the hell did this.

Yeah.

And I did.

Yeah, bro, because they're just jacking with your life at that point.

My life.

So.

Son's life.

So what. What will happen? Obviously, we know nothing. Nothing happened. So, like, when court were you just like, hey, I never. Here's the obvious evidence.

Never went to court. Wow. They. The attorneys I hired. He was like, you need to go downtown, take a. Take drug tests, and you need to relieve yourself of each and every accusation. I mean, it was just.

Or assumption.

We should say allegations, assumptions. But it's like, why, why. Why are you not spending any time on, like, finding out? Like, so anybody can go to the library and make an accusation to anybody that they have beef with and turn their life upside down. Yeah. Is that the world we live in? Yeah. And sadly, it is. Wow. And that's.

Yeah. That's wild to think about that. There was actually nothing that was valid, was just completely made. And I don't know if you did or not, but if you did fight, you said you found out who it was. And I don't know if you did this or not, but I would have sued them back, bro. I would have taken them to court and been like, you put me through all that. You made me spend this much money. Now I need that much money back. Plus, this much money for causing all this. I mean, you could get so much money, lawyers would just be like, trauma. This, this, this. Now we got to do. You know what I'm saying?

And I don't know, the thing is.

The shower or share.

You can't sue somebody for something they don't have. Yeah. You just can't. You can. And you can spend more money.

Yeah. You're probably not gonna get back because they don't have it.

Exactly.

That makes sense.

And however, for those of you who believe in karma.

Which everyone should.

So because it's. That's real, I'll just kind of wrap. I mean, the fact that people can do this. And there's a few points I want or takeaways I want. I want people to get from this, because I know a lot of our listeners will, if they haven't already, will end up dealing with CPS in some form or fashion, or maybe they are right now. Be very methodical about how you handle things, Record things if. If and when you can, and do everything you need to do to defend yourself.

Yeah.

Because accusations, even though completely false and obvious to cps, which is one of the big reasons I'm telling, you know, sharing this. Because there was absolutely not one ounce of anything. Yeah. That any normal human being would say, this. This man is guilty. Especially after finding out, all right, every single. Like, his wife passed away. He didn't. He doesn't live where these people think thought he lived there. It's just absolutely. The statistics of people abusing their own kids is like, less than a percent, like.07% or something crazy. So nothing adds up. And. But defend yourself methodically, even though you're not guilty. Don't think that hiring an attorney or whatever your situation is makes you look guilty. Makes you look guilty because. And because that's where I messed up. That's where the individual that shared his story on our support group messed up. Because we thought we're innocent. So we don't think we need to do these things, but we do. Yeah. And so it's just.

It's kind of like that term of, like, it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in the war. It's like, it's better just to be taking it, like, as a warrior, like, being upfront about it and being like, no, I need this, this, this, this, and this to defend myself than just being like, well, I didn't really do anything, so I don't really have to do anything to prove that I didn't do Anything.

Exactly. I mean, so, well, I. I saw, I. I paid. Paid up for. For a PI and found out, ironically, there were. There was more than one person involved, but there was kind of like a leader of the pack, if you will. All of whom were meth heads, ironically.

Yeah. Just hurt people. Hurting people.

And the leader of the pack I had known since I was in ninth grade. He. I employed him. I had given him opportunity that he screwed me over. And like, you know, just like any business that, you know, had to fire anyway, he. He was. It was just. He just had animosity, spite, jealousy, all. All sorts of things. And anyway, as we. As we sit here today, this guy is in prison. I think he ended up getting sentenced to like, gosh, nine or 10 years for selling child pornography.

Wow.

Online.

Jeez, man.

Yeah. So it's. Karma came back and. And got him. And I. It was just wild. I never in a million years would have even thought that guy would have been involved. But yeah, I'd like to say I took credit for putting him there.

Big man upstairs, but yeah.

Yeah. Nevertheless. Yeah.

So again, that's tough, man.

It's just a story that I was motivated to talk about after hearing a story that someone shared in our support group. And yeah, the main takeaways are just be it. It was life changing for me because even though I was so outraged and I wanted revenge and I wanted to do all these things, and that's kind of was a turning point in my life because I realized that by having all this negative energy and even though he really negatively affected me so bad and my son, and after what we'd been through, it's like, who would. Who does that? And it's like, you really. But I said, you know what? And I've spent all this money just for what. And you know, it's like I have to move on with my life and just know that he will get what's coming to him. Yeah. And ever since then, I've been. I've been screwed over. Not. Not with CPS or anything like that, but in other ways by people. And I have chosen to not waste money or time or negative energy on. I've just said, you know what? Dude's going to get something. May not be tomorrow, may not be next month, may not be next year, but they're going to get it. You don't treat people the way you don't do that shit and expect to just skip on through life and good things happen to you. That just doesn't happen well.

And that's Powerful, bro, because I think even just the community that we're creating can be filled with a lot of resentment, hurt and unforgiveness just because of situations that happen, given just the title of the podcast, the Single Dads Podcast. Right. But I think it's powerful what you did because you forgave and you let go because it just wasn't serving you. It does, it does you absolutely no good. And it's like I was telling one of my clients the other day who went through actually something pretty similar to, like, due to what you went through, except it was his wife that did it, you know.

Yeah. And I think a lot of our listeners, yes, go through. I think my, My situation is pretty unique. But yes, it all falls under the category. And yeah, yeah, the wife is probably.

Going to be the, the one that it. And, and we think she won't because we wouldn't do that. I mean, and there are some men that would do that, like, that have done that because I work with women as well. Like, but in our minds, we think that they just want. They wouldn't do that, they wouldn't go that far.

And, and, and then, but then they do. In the case of the individual that shared, I mean, he literally, like, celebrated her birthday for this entire week. And yeah, my God, it was like. I think everyone, everyone listening was like, in shock to hear. Yeah, that. And it hit so close home, I just said, I. I'm gonna have to share that story.

Yeah.

Because it's. Because he could have had. He handled it in a, like, more.

Of a logistical way.

Well, like, like I should have as well. Like, you know, it should have been more methodical and thought out, like, okay, yeah, I'm innocent, but she doesn't know that. I've got somebody that's accusing me.

Yeah.

And now once, once CPS gets involved, they stay involved. And, you know, but, you know, fortunately for him, you know, it was just an awful experience and he's. He's still getting, you know, getting through it.

That's really good, bro, because I want to say something really quick that I think is key for all of us just to kind of embody in our lifestyle. Like, the Bible talks about being above reproach, and I think it's for a reason. It's for that, like, you were living above reproach so they could come in with anything and you're squeaky clean. You mean, like, if they would have found like a dab of marijuana, it would have, like, made them be like, ah, maybe some of it might Be true because you smoke, so maybe you party because it's connected with that type of lifestyle. You see what I'm saying? But because you were squeaky clean, it was like, hey, there's not even dust on me. You know what I mean? Completely living a lifestyle is above reproach. It's like you have absolutely nothing that you can gear towards. And you see so many people that start going through something and then they're having to like, really, really defend themselves because they weren't living that kind of lifestyle.

That's. That, that's, that's a very good point because I would, I was thinking, like, what if, what if I had been out at a party and, you know, I don't usually do cocaine or something and I just happen to do a little bit that one time and then this happens.

Yeah.

I could have potentially lost custody of my son. Yeah. You know, something like that. So it's like, that's why, you know, and still it's like, what even had I. That. Had that been the case. It's not where like, you don't take away someone's son for just like me, you know, one little thing like that because boom. So, yeah, it's you, you, you have to be.

You just make it easier on yourself.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, like you really, really do. Because then it's like you have app. I know beyond a shadow that you have nothing on me. And when you search, you're going to feel really dumb because my life is clean.

Well, that's what I, that's what I thought. But you can't think that way, unfortunately.

Yeah, but it's better to live that way than to, like, live a compromising lifestyle. Yeah, because then, then you don't even have that confidence. They'll. They'll strip it from you real quick. Hey, well, we found this and we found this and we found this and we found pictures of you doing this and this and this. And then you're like, well, now I really do have to build a case.

Well, sadly, it's like, take, take this story and, and exactly what you just said, Frank. And think about what you post on social media. Think about just the smallest of things. If you were to get accused of something and people looked, you know, looked at your social media profiles, would you potentially fall in a category of was.

This, what's this labeling me as?

Right.

Because everyone makes decisions off of perception, not facts, what they perceive you off as. So it's like, what, what, what am I going to give people? What visual Am I giving them? And bro, when we were, when you were saying that, I thought of the office, Michael Scott when he's talking about drugs, he's like, do you think doing alcohol is cool? Like when you go to post on social media, just think of Michael Scott. Do you think doing alcohol is, do you think doing drugs is cool? I love that show but it's like, it's so true, man. Like just, just don't be on guard but just become someone that man, hey, I just don't mess with that.

Hey.

Because I want to set this example for my child, you know.

And thanks for, thanks for letting me share that. And there, there was another individual that really was the, the catalyst in my opinion of, of really getting everyone to, to open up and, or at least he kind of started and, or I shouldn't even say that. He, he, he just what, what he had to say and share was, you know, with complete strangers. I think everybody kind, you know, felt it and had you been on I know you would have had some, some things to say. And I wrote him an email and thanked him for sharing and basically he, he was, he's not. I guess he's getting divorced. He's, he's carrying a ton of guilt. Yeah. On, on him too much in my opinion. And yeah, maybe he made a mistake and he's, or a few mistakes and he's concerned about what is, you know, how his kids are going to be affected through divorce. I think they're ages for 4 and 7 if I remember correctly. And just he's not over his, his, his soon to be ex wife and that's clear. And he's, he was open and said, you know, he's turned two and this is something you can relate to, you know, other, just other women that you know, there's numbing that yeah, nice looking dude has the opinion and that and, and pornography is where he's kind of turned to just to kind of kind of like his temporary get my mind off of things or whatever. So I know that's something that you can relate to and if you want to offer any advice to, to him and anyone else that's in a similar situation, that would be great.

Yeah, no, definitely. First off, man, you're going through a lot of pain. Anybody who's going through this, you're going through especially if you feel like you're the one that's responsible. Which when you start talking to the right people and I don't mean your friends because your friends are just gonna be like f that lady. This Is that all that stuff? You know what I mean? I'm talking about, like, talk to a professional, help them break things down for you. And you, you are a man, so you are more of a logical being. So once you start seeing things on paper, you'll realize that you're not as guilty as you think. Like, both parties always play aside, man. Always. Always. So I want you to know, I know that you're going through an extremely difficult, difficult time right now and that it feels good just to kind of get away for that moment. It just feels good to completely distract yourself. But the first thing that I would say, man, is like, just become aware. Like, I want you to become aware of what you're feeling. That's it. Make that. Make that the first step. Identify. Like, I remember I got to a place where I was like, I'm about to go do this because I'm feeling this. And then now. And then it started losing its power because now I was like, I'm choosing to make the decision knowing that I'm feeling this. It's not like it's just happening. It's not habitual anymore. Now it's becoming a choice. And once it becomes a choice, it becomes, like, my response. I'm empowered now to change it. Because now it's not just a habit. Right. It didn't just happen. And it's not just. I don't know why it's happening, it's just happening. So just become aware of what you're feeling. Right. If you're like, man, I'm just feeling really rejected right now, so I'm going to go hook up with someone.

And that's, that's what I kind of said in the email. I was like, now that you know and you've identified, this is what I'm doing. Yeah. Think. Because, you know, it's such a temporary fix.

Yeah.

Think about, like. Yeah. How you feel after you do.

Yes.

Do it. And if you can think about that before, once you. When you have the urge, then a lot of times you make the right decision. And.

Yeah.

And not, not, not, you know, do it.

Yeah.

And as far as, you know, you know, worrying about your, your what, how. How it affects your kids. I mean, the end of the day, I. I just said something along the lines of just show them how much you love them.

Yeah.

Show them. And yeah, life. Life happens. Everyone is going to have things happen that's going to affect them negatively. But if you just show them how much you love them and their mom will do the same and demonstrate respect in front of them to your soon to be ex. And you know, you got to get some of that guilt off that weight.

Yeah.

Off. Off of your shoulders to, to make. Start making progress for yourself.

Yes. Because if, if. And this is key, man, like, and I shared about this, you can send me a message, bro, whoever it is that you are, you can send me a message and I will literally send you a coaching call where I talked about this specific issue because I was like a pathological cheater, I guess you could say, and just, you know, sex addict. Until you release the guilt and the shame, you'll never change. This is why people say that cheaters never change.

They.

That's true for people who hold onto the shame of cheating. They never change. Because if you constantly feel guilty and shameful for something that happened in the past. I've talked about this on the show before. Your mind, whatever you put in front of it, it will eventually lead you to do. Because if you're not doing anything right now to feel shame and guilt, your. Your mind is like, we need to do something to, to fulfill that. It's a self fulfilled prophecy. So it leads you back into that cycle. But as soon as you're able to like, forgive yourself and release the shame, you can actually become the person that you were meant to be. And I just want you to do that next time. Like, bro, lead yourself when you're in that situation and do it with some grace and do it with class, man, but lead yourself as if it was your kid, man. Son, what's this going to do for you? How is this going to help you? You know, you're not gonna like how you feel afterwards and literally talk to yourself. Because one of the best things my pastor ever said, he was like, when you're in the middle of sinning, he was like, I want you to start thanking God in the middle of it. He was like, I mean, if you are on the porn website, be like, man, you know what, God, thank you so much for your grace. Thank you so much for your. He was like, I guarantee you're gonna want to stop because you're. Yeah, blood flow goes somewhere else real quick. But it's true if you start talking to yourself, right, and make a. An emotionally compelling reason on why you want to change. Like, I remember saying, this is not who I am. This is not who I'm going to be. This is not what my kids are going to know me as. That is not who I'm going to be. This does not make me happy. And once I made A big enough, emotionally compelling reason. And I had a bigger desire than to get a quick fix. It became very easy to start transitioning. And then you just forgive yourself and release the guilt, release the shame and learn from the mistakes.

And, and honestly, like, for me, there. There was a point in time where I made a conscious decision because I either saw how badly I hurt someone.

Yeah.

Which made me. Which hurt me. When you hurt someone you care about, when you hurt a relationship that you care about, when you hurt, you know, know it hurts you anytime you see somebody that you care about. And, and because of your actions, things go south. Well, you know, sometimes you. You can't recover from them. And you have to accept that, and you have to just realize that moving forward. I'm. I'm going, you know, I'm not going to do that again. Yeah. Because, you know, and this guy, unfortunately, he's. He's on his second marriage and was married, I think, 11 and a half years. Has. He didn't have any kids from his first marriage. So, you know, I, I just. It really hit me. I just, I just. The guy, he's carrying just so much guilt, and I just. I just really want him to. To relieve. Release some of that guilt, not relieve.

He's been doing that.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's just, you know, there. Just learned that you have to move forward and, and that, you know, you're not going to do it again.

Yeah. Well, you don't. You don't have to. But do you want to?

Yeah.

And when the want to becomes great enough, you.

You'll.

You'll start making a change. So whoever this individual is, man, I want to encourage you to. To invest in yourself does not have to be with me. I've said that multiple times on here. But find someone that you trust that knows what they're doing, that has results. I'm talking about proven results. If you want to come with me, be a 1% man, then. Then come on. But be ready to do the work. This is not therapy. We don't just sit there and like, talk about things. We talk about things. We discover what's causing it, and then we take massive, sometimes painful, but very fulfilling action that brings freedom to your lives. And I want that for every single. Every single person, man. Every single person. You deserve it. I know right now you probably don't feel like you deserve it, but feelings are hellish masters. So don't let your feelings lead you.

Yep. And keep coming back to the support groups, man. Yeah. I think everybody who has shown up to the two that we've had have all gotten something from it. And you don't have to talk. You can just listen. If you want to talk, you can talk. And, you know, moving forward, as this community grows, we will accommodate what we need to do to. To make sure everybody gets something out of it.

Yeah.

So for sure. For sure.

Good episode, man.

Yeah, great episode. We will have another. We'll continue doing Monday nights until further notice. Further notice. So thanks for joining in, guys. Have a great, great week. Weekend and see you next week.