Fathers Day - One Year Anniversary!

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What is up, everyone? Guess what today is.

Father's Day. No, guess what today. I was going to say, guess what today also is.

It's our one year anniversary.

Yeah, one year, man.

One year ago today, we filmed our first episode and it's crazy.

Yeah, man. 12 months, four seasons later.

Yep. And we. We have literally put out on average one episode per week. Sometimes two. Yeah.

So a couple times. None. But. But we may not talk about that.

We made up for.

Yeah. Yeah, man. It's our one year anniversary. I want to personally start off by saying thank you. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your love. Thank you for everybody who's been sharing the podcast, man. Like, we single dads, and if you're a single dad that's listening to this, and even single moms, we got some single moms on here. Hey, shout out to them as well for supporting the podcast, honestly, but share it with a single parent, man. We've had some pretty interesting and cool stories that have come up from people who are just hanging out and some dude was talking about something they were struggling with and then they directed them to our podcast. And to me, that just feels like such a blessing, man, that we're able. You're allowing us to be a voice in your life. You're allowing us to come into your home, to come into your car. If you listen to podcast in the shower like I do, you're allowing us to come into your shower, dog. Come on now. I appreciate that.

For real.

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

And I'd like to thank you, Frank, for being such a phenomenal co host. I think we've learned a lot along this, this, this path that we've taken. Yeah. And in all honesty, I couldn't think of a better person to do it with.

So.

So, dude, thank you, man.

You just made me feel terrible because I didn't. Thank you. I was thinking, everybody listening. No, bro. But for real, though, thank you also, man. You know, just from the bottom of my heart, I know a lot of people don't know this, but you've helped me out so much and to be able to do this with you and to see ourselves grow, like, through this process, not just on, like, production and the stuff that doesn't matter, but to see us grow, even just like in our relationships, our personal relationship, like, with each other and then our own relationships with ourselves and then our relationship with our kids. It's been, it's been really cool just to see you challenging yourself and by doing that, challenging me to continue to grow. So thank you, bro.

It's amazing.

We're not going to cry. We're not going to cry. So if you're expecting that. We're not going to cry.

No. We're thrilled to see what year two holds. We have a lot of really cool things in the pipeline, a lot of irons in the fire, whatever you want to call it. And yeah, so happy one year anniversary to us and to all you listeners out there. Thank you so much. So, to Father's Day special day. It's the one day of the year that we as fathers get honored as we should. And you know, for people like myself, who I'm a mama and a daddy.

We'Re gonna celebrate. We should have celebrated you on Mother's Day too.

I, I literally, I have, I have two friends that text me every year. Ironically, this year, they didn't on Mother's Day. They used to. I think it was more of a joke than anything, but it still felt good. But. So let's talk about Father's Day. What makes it special and what things can make it more special? And I was just thinking, honestly just five minutes ago when I was down the hall and. With the technology we have today, there's so many cool things that you can do. And as a parent, you know, now, like, when I think back when I was a, when I was a kid at any age, to be honest, I think around, you know, my teen years, you know, I kind of stopped giving so that I didn't care about my dad. I just, I was a teenager and. But, you know, my, my younger years, you know, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, you know, you do things in school, you're kind of, like, persuaded to do things maybe, and. But, you know, as. It's a different dynamic when we're talking about single dads. Right?

Yeah.

So, I don't know, maybe you, you have someone in your life that, I don't know, persuades or puts ideas in your kid's head as, as to what they can do for you. But whatever it is, like, I don't, I don't have memories of what I Did for my dad. I'm really good at writing cards and picking out ones that make sense to one's personality and things like that. But where I'm going with this, guys, is that as a dad, whatever your child does, whether it's give you a mug or creates a collage or even puts like a video together, I don't know, there's a ton of things that can be done. Whatever it is, as a dad, this is just an idea, like write a thank you note or create a thank you video or do something that lets your child know how much that meant to you. How small, big, because. And, and here, here's where I'm going with this one. It'll be a keepsake. And at a later time, years down the road, they will be able to, you know, see. Wow. You know, I remember that now. Yeah, you know, it, it, well, it kind of, I guess, brings back the, the memory of whatever rather, rather than just here's a mug, Happy Father's Day in a card that may be forgotten because I don't know about you. Do you remember any specific things, like, along the way that you did for your dad?

I think the only thing that I.

Ruined this for me, I think the.

Only thing I remember was that I bought him a, like a flat iron grill that he's. That he's wanted.

And you were older.

Yes.

This was like two years. I'm talking about kind of like in your younger years.

God, no. I have no idea.

Yeah, that's where you become adult and, and older. It's different because we get it right. And that's kind of what I'm getting at. It's so like by creating a video and sending it to your, your children or child and, and just being sincere about it and saying, you know, like, my son's name's Riley. Hey, Riley. That card you wrote me or that note you wrote me with your number two pencil that needs sharpening and your chicken scratch handwriting literally meant the world to me. And it, I didn't let you see, but it brought tears to my eyes and it just made me realize how much I take for granted at times. And I'm so blessed to have you as a child and I'm so proud of you for what you've accomplished. I can't wait to see what you're going to accomplish in the years to come, depending on the age of your child or children. Point being, involve yourself. So you kind of help create each Father's Day as, as kind of a, a memory. And by you, you Know, letting your child know how much you appreciate it, whether they're 2 years old or 4 years old and they don't really remember today, it's, they will down the line. And I was actually talking to my dad on the phone. Haven't seen him in many, many years. And so anytime I get to speak to him is extremely special. And he said that or I, I, I said, I told him, you know, it, it's, it's very difficult for me to say to Riley, hey, you know, give him advice or explain like, hey, when you're in this situation, do this or, or react. But there were so many things that you did for me, dad, that, that went in one ear and out the other at that time. But seven years down or 10 years down the line, boom, it popped in my head and I remember it and it helped me make a decision and I gave him a couple of examples and amazing. So, so cool. So that's just, I hope that just if nothing else, get your, get your wheels turning and to try and make, you know, Father's Day, among other special days, memorable and maybe, you know, offer some advice to them as a four year old and see where it, you know, lands when they're 14 or 18 or what ever. That was just something that popped in my head I thought would be a good idea just to, to, you know, celebrate Father's Day in, in kind of a unique way and allow it to be memorable. Yeah. Both, you know, on the day and more importantly down the road. Bro.

You know, I like that so much because the greatest gift in this life is giving. Like the greatest gift you can give to yourself is giving. And when somebody, for example, when our kid does something like that for us, if you can give something back to them because you want to, you know what I mean? Not because I have to or like change your perspective, recognize that this is, this is my child, and almost treat it as what if this is the last gift that I ever received from them? How would I want to reciprocate this? And you'll reciprocate it, man.

That's one thing I didn't want to get into, but it, because, you know, I've had quite a few close people close to me pass away. So I wasn't trying to get into that, but that is really a point I wanted to make. So I'm glad you brought it up.

Yeah, it's just because you never know. You, I mean, you, you never know, you just never know. And that's not to like, make you feel sad, but it should light a fire in us of like, man, how do I want to show up, dude? How do I want to show how appreciative I am of them?

You know, like, not taking things for granted.

Yes, exactly. And like, this Father's Day, it's like, yes. Do you want to be honored and celebrated? Of course. Every human does. But something that I've been so intentional about with my little girl, bro, is telling her how proud I am to be her dad.

Yes.

You know what I mean? And how proud I am that she is my daughter.

We have both. And I think it's. I don't think. I know. It's because of this show that we've both, like, done that for. For our child, for our children. Yeah, it's crazy because it's like, we're proud of you. And, you know. Yeah, Father's Day is allegedly about us, but not allegedly, but it is about us, but let's make it about us. Like.

Yes, yes, exactly. Exactly, man. Like, what if this Father's Day, we. We did what fathers were designed to do? That's to, like, influence and impact. You know what I'm saying?

Like, and. And the biggest thing is, is by doing these things, it instills. Instills something into your children. And is what that is you're instilling, or.

Yeah, yeah, it is.

You are instilling into them the value and the meaning of. Of. Of giving and not just taking.

Yes.

Like, yeah, it's Father's Day, but I'm still giving you something and letting you know how proud I am of you and that. That sticks with you.

That's so good. That's so good. Because here's the thing that I don't think we realize a lot is that there's things in life that are taught, but then there's things in life that are caught, and there's a massive difference. I was taught math. Kinda. Kinda taught math. But I caught resilience from my dad. I caught it. And the way that someone can catch it, even on the show, bro, people have caught things from us. And it's because when you do it out of a place of like, man, I really believe this, and I really deeply feel this. That's what catches people. That's what people catch. It's like when you hear someone speaking and you're just like, man, I connect with that person. It's because you're catching what they're saying. But the only reason you're catching it is because it's real. It's so real. And so if you take that gift that you get, that you receive and you just take a moment to genuinely appreciate what that gift is, because it's more than that gift. That gift goes so much deeper. It means that you are a father. It means that there is a child that looks up to you, that is going to go to you whenever there's issues that are going on. It's a child that whenever they grow up and they're. How old are you now, bro? Like 45, 44.

We really need to talk about that.

In whatever age it is that they're at when they're adults. Right. That they're gonna look back and be like, dang, dude, you're still guiding me. And your dad, for example, he's still here, but he wasn't there in the moment that you remember that. But he was there in that moment because he was still living right here and right here. And it's because you caught that from him. You see what I'm saying?

Absolutely. Do I see what you're saying? And another thing is that my dad had us do when we were young. My brother and I, like my mom cooked every night. Like we grew up, like, you know, on the lower middle class, I guess you would call it. My mom cooked and she wasn't that great at it. But anyway, we. She cooked and she provided and she cleaned the kitchen. And the one thing that we all knew is my mom hated cleaning the kitchen. And as sometimes is what she would do is should just kind of like, like I gotta get out of here. Whatever. Right. And my dad would say to my brother and I, or sometimes just my, sometimes just me, hey, why don't you clean the kitchen while your mother's gone? And so when we. Or I would do that and she came home and saw that she didn't have to do it because whatever. If she ran an errand or whatever, all she was thinking about. But my point is, is by, by, by seeing the reaction. Yeah. When she came home and, and getting that huge hug and, and seeing how much she appreciated. Stuck with me from when I was literally I. I remember 9, 10, 11. Right. Right in. It has like that one thing. And getting the reaction from her has caused me to be like proactive in like thinking about how I can be considerate or selfless in certain situations.

Yeah.

And all of that because my dad said, why don't you do this for her? And then he's seeing the reaction.

Wow.

So that's beautiful. Think about that. And you know, it doesn't have to be Cleaning the kitchen for. For your mom. It can be anything. And think little things like that stick with your kids.

Yeah.

And it's just amazing because that one. One little thing that I. I did sporadically here and there has made. That's part of who I am now. Yeah.

It's made a massive, lasting impact in your life.

It's crazy.

That's so beautiful, man. That's incredible. And. And for Father's Day, here's. Here's the thing. If. If. If you're lucky enough to still have your dad, like, take it, take advantage of it, really, really celebrate them and honor them on the day. And that doesn't mean that, oh, you have to hang out with them all day or anything like that. Like, that's not. That's not what I'm saying. But I don't know if I've mentioned this on the phone, bro, but I know I've mentioned it with you before where it's like, I call it the blame game, something that I do with my clients. It's really good for healing, but it's. There's so often, so many times where we blame our dads or parents or people for things that have happened to us and things that they didn't do right and all that right. And for me, I used to keep that score against my dad so often, and then I wanted it to change, and so I changed it. So instead of blaming him for everything he's done wrong and where he, like, let me down and failed me and all that stuff, I started blaming him for all the good things in my life, for everything good that I've gotten because of him. And I told him these things, and I was specific because we take criticism so intensely, bro, because criticism is so direct and specific. Somebody criticizes you on something, they're not just like, dude, you're an idiot. They're like, you're an idiot. But because xyz, right? But then a compliment, someone's like, man, you're a great dad. And it's so vague. It's like, that's it. You're just a great dad. But if we can get specific with the compliments, we can hit them, like, deep, right? And so that's what I did with my dad. And so I encourage you, man. Like, if. If you're lucky enough to have your dad around, do that. If you don't have your dad around, maybe. Maybe. Maybe write them a letter, you know, and just you. You still give that gift. I mean, and absolutely selfless in the moment.

And the last thing And. And this is for those who. Who don't have a dad. Maybe they're deceased. Maybe they're incarcerated. Maybe they are just not never alive. Yeah. Don't allow that to be something that. I'm not saying. If your parent isn't in your life, that you can't be sad about it. But don't say, oh, it's Father's Day and I don't have a dad because of whatever. It's not your fault that they aren't there. And. And I can. I can speak about this. I believe I can speak about this because I don't have a mom. So on Mother's Day, I deal with the same thing. And my son also doesn't have a mom. So, you know, it's kind of a double whammy in my house. But. Yeah, you know, but there are things that we do, and I'm not going to get into any of them because, you know, create your own. But by all means, do not let something like, you know, not having that parent in your life for whatever reason be a catalyst to. To do anything. Like we discussed in our last episode about anger and frustration, don't let this be a catalyst for depression. Yeah. And snowball into, you know, drinking or drugs or. Or just feeling down and, you know, you know, seek out friend. You know, I hope you have friends, or at least one. You know, seek. Seek that person out or reach out to. Heck, reach out to one of us if you want. I don't care. Just don't feel like you don't have anything to celebrate or don't feel like you. Well, if you're listening, you are a dad.

Yeah.

So you do have something, you guys, something to celebrate. Exactly.

So we just kind of want to give y' all just kind of like a little final charge for Father's Day so that you can go out, have a great time, enjoy the kids, enjoy your time, be a blessing. I just want to remind you that you are a father. And that is. That is much more than what we always think. Right? Like, you are the one that is going to pick your child up when they are down. You are the one that's going to speak life into them and help solidify the identity that they carry that helps them operate throughout their life. You are the one that when they start to suffer, they will think about you. You are the one that your kid wants to run to. Maybe they don't run to you at times, but they want to run to. To you. That is who you are. You are the strength that they have. And you are literally their guiding wisdom. And more than anything, you as a father are a conqueror. And you're going to conquer anything that you go through, because you already have, and you're going to continue to do that. So I don't want you to forget that. I want you to remember that on this day, like, pat yourself on the back and tell yourself of all. Remind yourself of all the ways that you've shown up and even if you made a mistake, all the ways that you've learned when you made those mistakes. Yes. And how. You're not your mistake. You're not your mistake at all. You are the person that's come out on the other side of the me mistake with new wisdom, and that's who you are. So if anybody tries to tell you otherwise, don't listen to them, man. Absolutely, do not listen to them. We were. We were listening to Ed Mylet earlier, and he was saying. He was like, don't let people put their limitations on you. So don't let people put their limitations of what a father is on you or who you are as a father. You know who you want to be, you know who you are, you know what the capacity you have, you know what strengths you have, you know what giftings you have operate in those. And the best thing that I think that we can do for Father's Day is offer those to our family and offer those to our kids, because it is better to give than to receive. Do you got anything for 100?

And. Yes. Everything that Frank just said that you have, a lot of people don't necessarily realize that they have all of those things. So take everything that he just said and realize that you do have those things.

Yeah.

And you do have the ability. And you are the conqueror. You are the wise one. You are the one that they look up to. And everything that I spoke about, it's the little things that make a massive difference.

Yes.

Maybe not today, but in life.

That's so good. Happy Father's Day, everyone. Y' all have a Father's Day. Sam.