How to attract great women!

And we get twisted up on what we wear. Hair, beard, whatever. Just don't even sweat that. Know who you are, and, man, you're going to dominate the room with the energy that's within you.

How can I serve this woman? And by serving her, in other words, how can I help her have an awesome experience? Because that's what dating is about. It's not about, what can I get out of this. It's about, hey, how can I serve.

This individual when we use that seed and not the manner that he has for his creation? So when we use that creation, it's such an illusion that, man, that's going to be good for me. It's such an illusion that, man, this is gonna be good for her, me and everybody involved. And it never ends up like that unless it is channeled righteously.

I love the Lord, and I love people that need the Lord.

I'm just tired of being fake. And if I gotta be fake and I can't be still, the Bible says, confess your sin to one another. I love you. I honor you, man. You are like your fruit of the ministry, man.

All right. Hey, welcome back to the Holy and Horny podcast, man. So excited to be back with you guys. I. Bro, I don't know about you, man, but I love. I love, love, love this podcast. It's so refreshing to me, bro. It is.

And I feel like it's. It's a place where we can come just dish.

Exactly. Ditch what?

Dish, whatever.

Yeah, bro, that's literally what it feels like. I feel like there's so many people who get into the podcast world for, like, who knows what reasons, But I love the simple fact that me and you come on here and really we're just connecting and talk about stuff we talk about in every single day life. Like, if somebody recorded all of our phone calls, our phone calls could be podcast episodes. I feel like.

I think our phone calls would be phenomenal podcast episodes because there's no filters. But that's the same thing we do here. We just are filterless.

Yeah, exactly. And I don't know if you guys are watching this right now with a good old. Good old video on, but my boy Guy Jones got a haircut, man. It looks fresh, bro.

Yeah, brother. You know, every now and again, I'll. I'll be like, man, I just want to knock it down, bro. And just. And it's all.

It.

Honestly, it's when I'm training a lot, and I'm just going to. Into kind of like warrior mode, and I have a lot of physical ambitions that I'm like, man, the pretty boy's out, man. Hang that crap up. We're gonna cut it down, chop it down, bro.

I love that, man. What are you trading for right now, bro? I know we're doing number.

What's that?

I said, I know we're doing the 100 mile race in December, but what are you training for right now?

So we've been doing Armageddon, ultimately to, to grow my arms a couple inches. And it just gives you, you know, the power to captivate a room. So ultimately I can get the message across that I desire to get across. So it's not vanity, it's not ego. It's. It's a tactic to deliver a message. And I love lifting weights, man. They're good for me mentally and they're a good way for me to bond and kick it with my friends. So the Armageddon program, we're about how many weeks in, Frank? Six weeks. So we're six weeks in the Armageddon program. And then, man, I'm still running a lot, but I've turned it up to high intensity interval training because I'm trying to get the fast twitch muscles firing. And that's, that's 4:30am workouts twice a week. High intensity sprints and explosive.

Bro.

You doing that in the woods movement, huh?

Are you doing that in the woods?

No, I do this in the, in the outside turf area at a really nice gym in Gainesville. But the guy I work out with is just like, he's a specimen, man.

Yeah. Is this the guy we were supposed to go work out with at 4:30 in the morning? What's his name? Blake, I think Zach.

Zach Brim. Yeah.

Yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna have to get a workout in with him the next time I'm in town, bro. Just gonna.

He's a different animal.

Yes, sir. That's what's up, man. Yeah. Dang, bro. That's a little challenging, man.

Like it is.

Get rid of, get rid of the, get rid of the pretty boy for a season and just go ham. I'm not going to say anything on this podcast because I don't know if I'll do it or not yet, but you got me thinking now, man.

Well, I will tell you, the word says, man, don't even worry about what you wear. You know, I love these birds in the, and, and the trees and look how well they're attired. You know, he's like, bro, I made you just the way you are. And as Long as you know your fire, you're fire, man. And that's what I feel like God was saying, man. We get twisted up on what we wear, hair, beard, whatever. Just don't even sweat that. Know who you are and man, you're gonna dominate the room with the energy that's within you.

Yeah, bro, that's true. That's true, man. It's, it's something that I've noticed where it doesn't really matter what you wear. What matters is how you wear it. And that doesn't mean like style wise. That just means like with what kind of confidence that you wear it. Like, I know I used to not even wear flat bills because I just thought that flat bills, like I was like, ah, I don't know. And then as soon as I was just like, man, I love these flat bills, these things, like I make them look good. I make. Started wearing flat bills. Then I started wearing some extra button ups. Just like this one little silky smooth, hello, Rico Suave type stuff, right? And it's the exact same thing. And I got a buddy who, he just wears like the most random stuff from the thrift store, bro, I can't do thrifting, man. I can't do thrifting. But this dude will go and thrift and makes this stuff look good, man. Which I think is, is kind of along the lines of the topic that we wanted to cover today. You want to tell them what that is, Guy Jones?

Well, I think it's just a testament to confidence and I think it's also a testament to attraction. And I think about it a lot because there's some really pretty girls. So I'm think you. We always think easier. It's easier for us to grasp what we see through our lens. So I think about, man, I've dated some really pretty girls that just didn't have the chemistry of attraction and they were beautiful and, but that attraction wasn't there. So there's something to having a level of attraction because I've also dated some girls that aren't so pretty, in my opinion, that were super sexy and attractive. So that's a, that's a topic right there, man.

Yeah. Hey, harp on that for a second. I want, I want to hear your thought process on that. On how they're not pretty but they're sexy and attractive, or they're sexy and attractive, but they ain't pretty.

Right. Well, I think it goes back to kind of what you were just saying right there is like, man, I didn't like the way these flat Bills looked until I got confident in myself and I knew whatever I wore, I looked good. And so it wasn't the flat bill. It was the confidence within you. And I think, man, it doesn't matter what somebody looks like necessarily, but that confidence, that spirit that's within them, so. And the same thing goes for a beautiful girl. Beautiful, sexy. But have you ever met a sexy girl that lacks confidence?

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah.

So when. When I asked that, I don't mean like humble, because there's humble girls that are confident.

Oh, I'm talking about insecure scrap, bro.

Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, it's. It's. It's wild, man. Like, you dig just a little bit, and then the next thing you know, they're. They're super insecure. It was wild. It was a wild experience. It was a. It was not a very fun experience either, man.

See, because that's not like, very attractive. Quality to me is. Is insecurity.

So.

And then, like, I don't like to. Because I'll date some girls. Like, just recently, I was dating a girl and she's like, your ex girlfriend was like, so beautiful. I don't even know why you're with me. Like, she was like a dime. I'm not her. And I was thinking, well, before that, I was thinking, no, she's not her. She's herself. You know what I mean? And I'm not trying to compare my ex to somebody else.

Yeah.

When she said that, I'm like start thinking, well, she really isn't. But had she just been. Knew who she was and not been in and playing the comparative game, it would have made me definitely look at her in the way I was already starting to kind of look at her before Took a detour.

Yeah, no, absolutely. 100. Because they plant a seed. They plant a seed like that now. Now there's like a seed of doubt without even trying. And it happens subconsciously.

Right.

And I know I've fallen into that before too, where I was like, dang, dude. Like, maybe I'm not as this or that, as like her ex or whatever. And then I noticed that everything just completely shifts. The way I show up shifts. I don't. I didn't show up the way that I wanted to. The way that I knew I could show up. My humor was not as good. I was more concerned about myself instead of, how can I serve this woman? Right. And by serving her, in other words, how can I help her have an awesome experience? Because that's what dating is about. It's not about what can I get out of this? It's about, hey, how can I serve this individual? Right? And. And, yeah, bro, it, like, really affected me whenever I would do those things. And it was weird because I would go through, like, I went through a season where it's like, I was attracting, like, really beautiful women, and then I was attracting, like, not so incredibly beautiful women. And I didn't change. My physical didn't really change. I've always been about the same, except now I'm becoming more of a savage in Jesus name, physically or. But what I noticed was that it was. That it was the way that I saw myself whenever that shifted, it. It affected the individuals that I attracted. Right. And. And, yeah, bro. So, yeah, I've definitely. I've definitely attracted some beautiful women that had a lot of insecurity. And I think, bro, like, I think it's because they realize that, wow, really what I'm bringing to the table right now, not saying that this is what they're worth, because I believe they're worth more than that. Right. But all they see themselves is, like, all they see the worth in them is, like, their beauty. And when that's the only thing that you. That you, like, really feel like, man, I'm bringing to the table right now, I could see that making you feel a little insecure, bro. Like, bro, I went on a date with a. The beautiful young woman who didn't know what a podcast was.

Wow.

I just remember she. She would ask me. She was like, well, what do you do for fun? I was like, man, I listen to podcasts. I like doing podcasts, things like that. Right. She was like, what. What is a podcast? And our conversation continued. And what I realized was, like, dude, like, I've got all these, like, experiences in my life and stories, and she had nothing. Like, I'm not saying she didn't have anything, but she showed it. Like, she showed up like she had nothing. And that just made the experience, like, pretty darn miserable. And I feel like that could make you feel a little insecure. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you feel like, ah, I'm not really bringing that much to the table right now. I don't know. What do you think about that?

So I got a question for you. But first, before I ask you the question, kind of expounding on what you were saying is, is, man, dating is about an experience. Right. And.

And.

When you lose everything, and I'm just gonna speak to just me going to prison and losing my freedom.

Yeah.

And I didn't Think back to material things that I had or I didn't even think back to. I thought back to experiences and, like, experiences that I wish I would have had, experiences that I had, but I didn't take full advantage. And. And now I played them in my head, like how I would maybe show up differently or. Or have played that differently, or how I should have hung out with that girl and pursued that girl a little more. And you think about the experiences. That's what you reminisce on. That's what you miss. So for 10 years, I just thought about certain experiences, and. And I was 22 when I went in, so I didn't have a lot of experiences as an adult, a mature adult. So, like, the ones I did have, I clung to. They were valuable. And I said, man, if I ever get out of. Out of prison, I'm never gonna pass up the opportunity to have a great experience. So, like, one of my things is, like, when I. When I'm passing water or, like, passing a big body of water or like, I was at the beach this past weekend, it was really cold outside, but I'm like, I'm getting in this water because I don't want to have. Not the. The opportunity in the future not to get in the water. I would have. Wish I would have gotten this water. And so I chase experiences just because I realize now how valuable experiences are. Even if you don't show up your best, even if you're not on your A game, you just having the experiences. And so I'll tell you an example of this is, like, I got asked to speak at an engagement, like, two years ago, right after I got out. And I was pretty confident speaking, telling my testimony, but I was not confident speaking about my business at the time. So this was, like, at a Rotary Club event, and there was a lot of, like, old money there in this smaller town, Lake City. And I went to this event, and I'm still kind of confident because I speak a lot, you know, just about my testimony. I'm not really. I'm. I used to have a phobia with speaking in public, but I kind of have. Have mastered it and just gotten used to where I chase things that make me uncomfortable. But I didn't prepare. I did. I did no preparation. And the thing about preparation is preparation makes. Gives you a level of confidence.

Yeah, absolutely.

So I get up in front of this Rotary Club, which is not my vibe. It's not my, you know, kind of people, and I drop an egg, man, I really suck it up. And I mean, it was terrible. It was so embarrassing. It was so terrible. I couldn't. I never got into a flow. It was choppy. And it's because at the time I didn't know what my vision was for my business. I knew I. What I wanted to do and I knew I could do it better than the company I used to work for. But I didn't have a. A clear vision. I didn't have a mission. I didn't even have a why. I just had a what. I know what I'm doing. I know how to do it. But I had no why. And I. I sucked, man. I was terrible. But the moral of the story is I landed a big account with a dentist who was kind. He's a kind of awkward dude himself, so he probably like, felt bad for me because I was up there, like super awkward and not bringing my A game and. And he's like, started throwing me work and just from getting up there, getting outside of my comfort zone and. And I didn't show up and I wasn't on my A game and I was self conscious versus being focused on what I could provide or how I could serve, and it was terrible. But I still got the account and it was, you know, so that's what I learned is, man, you just show up, man. Show up in life, prepared, unprepared. The Bible says, be ready in and out of season. So just show up. And even though it may not look good, even though it may not be what you consider your best outing, bro, you're still going to cover some ground.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's not about how much ground you cover in that moment. Just cover some, man.

Right?

Get some experience, bro. I, I love your mindset on that. And, you know, I don't have a mindset like that because I, you know, I didn't go to prison. But it's encouraging to me to hear that because you're right, man. Like just these little experiences that we can create, right? Like even just here in Texas, I overlook it. Driving by cows with my little girl, right? If we see a longhorn, it's like, people pay to go see longhorns, right? You know, it's like just pull over and create an experience in that moment. And what we don't understand as a. As men, usually, and maybe we do now a little bit more because so many podcasts that are out there. But experiences as a man is really what also makes you attractive. Being able to have some stories in your pocket that you're able to like, pull out you know, because it shows that you've done some stuff. That's why every, everyone respects the dude that's all scarred up, right? And that's all beat up because he's got some experiences, he's got some battle wounds, he's got some stories to tell, right? And I think that's something that would be huge for dudes who are like, trying to like, figure out, man, how can I start, like creating some attraction and like really honing in on that and becoming more attractive. I think one of the best things that you could do is do what Guy Jones just mentioned, actually, which is get out there, get some freaking experiences under your belt, man. Go bungee jumping, take a road trip, right? Don't even do anything that's expensive. Go running in the woods in Florida where there's black bears, you know what I'm saying? Like, just have some experiences that you can chat about and talk about. Because then again, it's like what you said, you said, you know, whenever you're prepared, you got a lot more confidence. It's like, man, if you've gone through a bunch of experiences and you've made nothing fun and you've had fun out of doing nothing because you had lack of resources, but you got creative, now you know that when you're out on that date, because it is your duty as a man to lead that engagement and that interaction. Now you know that, oh, wait, we're on a 30 minute hole, like, waiting list. Instead of looking over at her and being like, hey, so like, what do you want to do? Which immediately starts to drop a woman's attraction. Unless she's got huge attraction for you instead of that, then you can start offering like, hey, hey, let's go do this. Why? Because of the experiences that have added up in our lives. And so, yeah, bro, I really like that. And staying ready in and out of season is something huge as well, man, because. But that happens through experiences too. You know what I'm saying?

And I think also experiences tell you who you are because throwing you, it's throwing you into different, different situations where you don't have control. Men, we like to have control. And we feel comfortable we have control over the situations, but you never have control over all your situations. And just being able to be in fluid situations and being comfortable because you live there, you live outside your comfort zone so that it becomes your new norm, that becomes your new zone. And that's what a, a date is. I think everybody that's ever been on a date with somebody that they're intrigued by and gets a little hint of nervous energy. I think everybody that ever goes in front of a speaking engagement that really matters to them gets a hint of nervous energy. Some more than others. But the more you do it, the more you know how to channel that nervous energy and the more like, you understand, man, I've been super nervous before. I've been way more nervous than this, and I killed it. So I can. I can handle this nervous energy. I know what to do with it. So just having the experiences adds a level to your confidence.

Yeah, I love that, bro. That's so true. That is so on the money. Because you become multi dimensional, you become like, Bruce Lee said, be like water, you know, be able to flow. Right?

Be.

And because you are learning new sides of you, and you're learning that, oh, wow, when I get nervous, I can still operate. If I get stressed, I can still operate. If I'm tired, I can still operate, Right? If I'm in a good mood, I can operate. So you start learning how to operate out of these different parts of you, honestly. Because we all have the insecure part of us. We got the confident part of us. We got the doubting part of us. We got the anxious part of us. We got the depressive part of us. And it's not about staying away from those. It's how can I, as a man still show up in the midst of that? And the best way to do that is experiences. Go start a company, and when it fails, you're gonna have to show up in it. And that'll just build more confidence in you. That, oh, snap. Even when something doesn't go my way, I know I can still show up, man. One of the. This. This was really interesting to me about two years ago, bro. One of the most attractive qualities of me was the fact that I had cheated in my marriage.

Why do you think that is?

Think about that for a second. Like, I remember back when I worked at my buddy's company, Church Base, Two different specific women that I went on dates with. They're like, it's just when you talked about what you went through and what you did, there was just something extremely attractive about, was one of my worst pitfalls and what I would consider my worst characteristics. But because I went through that experience and I learned from it, and I was able to communicate the lessons that I've learned from it, right? Instead of communicating like, I can't believe that happened to me, I fell into that and just, oh, victim, victim, victim. Victoria I would talk about is more of like, dude, this is what I learned through that, and this is how I feel like I'm overcoming it, right? And this is what I learned about myself. So this is what I'm working on now. And so women found that extremely, extremely attractive. Bro. I remember I released the. That podcast. I Hope Nobody Goes looks it Up, The Be Real podcast. And I was sharing, like, my story. And the reason why I hope no one looks it up. Go look it up. So you can see how much better I am at podcasting now. Because that was garbage, bro. But I remember releasing it and then going to church and the very next Sunday, having random women at church that I didn't know come up to me and just like, man, I respect you so much. Like, I just heard, like, the podcast that you released. I heard your story again. I just respect you so much. And so it's like, most dudes, I feel like whoever's scared of talking about it is because you. You haven't done the work to learn from it, right? Because if you've learned the. If you've learned the lessons and you've grown from it, I want to talk about it. Because now, guess what? It's something that I've got authority in, and experiences gives you authority. And authority comes off as power here in the natural realm. When somebody sees somebody walking and they're like, you know, in Christian terms, it's like, man, he walks with authority. What that really means is there's an aura of power around that individual that you can sense. And it doesn't matter what weight they are. It doesn't matter what color they are, what age they are. You can tell when someone's got authority in a specific area because you can sense that. You can feel that, right? And that just comes through. That comes through experiences. But, yeah, bro, I thought it was, like, really interesting that one of the most attractive qualities of me back in the day was, like, that I had cheated. I thought that was wild, bro.

I do want to say that you had that authority. So, like, when. When Frank was here in. In Florida with me a couple weekends ago, we went to a very nice party, and it was for a real estate company who was the number one in Gainesville. And. And you were. We were dressed the nines. I think the theme was, like, 80s New York or something. And really we just popped a suit on the way out there. We stopped at a little shop in the mall and got a quick suit, and we didn't think too much about it, but we went out there, made experiences. But I remember the way you were carrying yourself, and you're not from Florida and you have a different kind of style, but I just remember the light that you possessed and how it attracted people in, and it's just. It's a spirit within you. And then also I was thinking about experiences just while you were talking earlier. And I was thinking, well, this upcoming weekend, for super bowl weekend, we're headed to Austin, Texas, and we're going with our friend who was, you know, super bowl winning, fittest guy in the NFL, and he's going to speak and blow it out. And we really both look at him like a mentor and respect him greatly. And we're going with another friend, and his wife will probably be there. And. And I was thinking, what kind of cool experience would it be if maybe, like, we did something fun, like maybe jumped on a dating site, put our pictures up, me and your pictures together, found some girls that wanted to go on a double date and then brought them out with Steve, his wife, and Travis Terrebone. Now that would be an experience.

That would be an experience, bro. And we bring microphones and just podcasts.

That's what I'm saying. That that would be intense. And. And just thinking about that, like, so me thinking about that. There's a lot of ways that that could go wrong, you know, and that's the first thing you think, man, that could go wrong. Like, you know, how would. How would Steve take it? How would his wife take it? How would you know?

And.

But ultimately, brother, what if you don't have that experience and you lose the chance to ever have that experience with. Or what if it goes extremely right, and one of these girls come, come on, and around our friends, you're going to get the smoke anyhow. And she ends up changing her life or greatly improving her life just from the conversation that we had. So it's like I just. My mind starts thinking situations like that just out of just conversation. So I was thinking that might be the lick, bro. That might be.

That's why I love you, dude, bro. Because most people would think about scenarios like that, and guess what we do? We talk ourselves out of them. Like, how many men right now listening to this podcast probably have talked yourself out of a specific experience, even if it was an experience like with a woman, right? Or with your friends, just because you're like, well, you know what if someone thinks this, it's like, immediately, man. That's why I think something that adds to your confidence, which then adds to you creating attraction in individuals. And I want you to talk on this, too. Guy, I think bro, is your friend circles the table that you sit at. Because with Steve, I don't have to wonder what he's going to think, because I know he thinks the best about me and he believes the best about me with Guy. With you, I don't have to think that either, because I know that you believe the best about me, and you guys don't have to worry about that with me either. I, you know, I was telling somebody this because they were like, oh, no. You know, hopefully, like, just don't take any offense to this. And then they share something with me. And I was like, hey, hey, hey. When someone believes the best about you, it's impossible to be offended by them, right? Like, if I believe. If I believe that you believe the best about me, then I don't ever think that you're actually necessarily going to get offended because you're always going to believe the best. Even if I f something up and say it incorrectly, you're not going to be like, well, why'd Frank say it that way? If you're believing the best about me, you'd be like, oh, he might have had a bad day. Whatever. If anything, I'm gonna check up on this dude. Hey, bro, how you doing, man? Right? And instead of holding a spirit of offense, right? And so that's what I've noticed is I talk myself the most. I've talked myself the most out of experience this podcast, bro. We could have talked ourselves out of this experience of this podcast because of the thoughts of, well, what are individuals going to say because of the simple title of the podcast.

It's weird, bro. And I'm still hung up on that because I don't understand, like, how being horny is a bad thing. Like, I'll never. I'll never understand that. Like, that's a God given. That's a sign of healthiness, bro.

Like you would think, right?

People that are not healthy or not supercharged like that, man, that's. That's a sign of health. That's a sign of a gift. It's a gift of God, man. And. But ultimately, like, we're not talking about uncontrolled horniness, attraction. We're talking about channeled attraction that drives you to succeed, that drives you to succeed in family, that drives you to succeed in. And health, wealth. And, like, if you look at older books, because I used to read a lot of older books and. And I'm a sucker for Napoleon Hill, and Napoleon Hill wrote the Law of Success. Think and Grow Rich and And his books, because they work, are based off biblical principles. So that doesn't mean everything in his book is biblically based, but a lot of it is. And he does a lot of talk about the, the energy from sex and channeling that energy into making you successful. It's a law of success. And I don't, I can't remember how he uses it. I think it's like sexual imitation or something of that.

It's like a fight, bro. It's like a. It's like a fighter. Hey, don't have sex before your fight because that testosterone, that God given divinity, like part of you that is just like out to conquer, because that's really what it is. It's that part of a man that's like, I gotta conquer, I gotta conquer, I gotta conquer. And it's learning to channel it to the things that you want to succeed in. And he literally says in that book, he says, if you don't get this thing, you won't be as successful as you could be. It was like, you've gotta, you've got to channel that thing here, right? Which means, like, put the porn away, right? Like, just stop randomly hooking up and things of that nature and channel it over here. It's literally a recipe for success, right? Which is why when the Bible's talking about don't have sex before marriage, like, I'm pretty sure that's why he's talking about it, because he's like, hey, focus all that energy, bro. The number one thing, most attractive thing about a man is like, what you said whenever you went to give that speech, you didn't have clarity, so you didn't have confidence to speak about your business yet now you got clarity, bro. And now you speak with confidence, authority and power. And guess what? It's probably sexy as hell for some of these ladies listening to you. You, like, I had a girl tell me, like, you know what the most attractive thing about you that, that, like, really caught my eye is how on fire you are when you talk about Jesus. It's. You know why? It's because I've got clarity of who he is and who I am in him. And once I got that clarity, it erupted something in me, right? And so how do we create that clarity? It's by moving the noise around away and channeling it all to, like, purpose and mission as a man and going after those things and then believing that the Lord is going to bring a queen, a wife that is going to come into alignment with our mission. Instead of trying to derail us and try and get us to, like, completely pivot and make a U turn. No, no, no. Like, this is where I'm headed. This is where I'm going. And all my energies channeled there. Because I don't want to speak for you, but I'm pretty sure you're going to agree with me, bro. The. The moments that you've had the most freedom, right. And the most victory in that area, I know for me has been whenever I'm doing the things that bring me the most fulfillment, which means it's things that I'm on mission for. It's things that are purposeful. Like, whenever that happens, I'm not necessarily struggling too crazy with that area because I feel like this next level of satisfaction and if I'm being honest, also exhaustion, where I'm just like, oh, bro, it's time to go to bed. I had a good day today. I got a lot of things done. I moved on mission. I moved on purpose. I feel extremely fulfilled. I got that connection with individuals right. And then the days that I'm not operating that way, I feel like that's when I struggle the most trying to channel that desire. What are your thoughts on that?

So I go back to, you know, today, and. And I was at the gas station early this morning. I was getting a energy drink, and I got a gas station right down my. By the road, by my shop. And I. I knew I needed to fuel myself because I had a big workout in a day, and I started seeing, like, the shelf of sweets and, like, oatmeal pies and honey buns and Dunkin sticks. And I was like, man, that would be fire if I just took those Duncan sticks down through there and dipped them in some milk.

Yeah.

And that's what I was thinking. And I could have fallen victim to that. And it probably wouldn't have hurt me too bad because I would have gone and burned a lot of it off and. But it would have made ne the next time easier and the next time easier, and then before you know it, I'm sloppy and I'm not showing up how God made me, created me to show up. And the same thing I feel like goes with sleeping with women or even masturbating for that for an example. Like, if I'm. Every chance I get trying to hook up with a woman or trying to blow the best thing of me at trying to blow it out, I'm, like, not saving the most powerful thing I have. And ultimately, I become sloppy spiritually. I become sloppy and laziness. I'm not as driven because the thing that drives me to hunt, that drives me to. To mission is I've. I've already blew my load. So literally. Literally. So it's so important to figure out or just to understand that, because once you. Once you understand that, you realize, man, do. Is it really worth it? Like, is it really worth, you know, this quick satisfaction, this instant gratification that's gonna derail me from the huge abundant purpose and mission that God has for my life that ultimately gives me the gratification that I'm looking for.

Yeah, bro, I think you hit the nail right on the head with that, man. 100%. That's the most powerful thing that we have. And it's the number one, like, driving force, man. It really. It really. In our human nature, it's one of the number one driving forces is. Is that. That's why when a dude is a.

God seed, it's a God seed to create. And God is a creator. And he said, be fruitful and multiply. And he said, we're here to take dominion over fish in the sea, birds in the air. So we're creators. We're multipliers. So when we use that seed and not the manner that he has for his creation, so when we use that creation for it's. And it's such an illusion that, like, man, that's going to be good for me. It's such an illusion that, man, this is going to, like, be good for her, me and everybody involved. And it. It never ends up like that unless it is channeled righteously in my, you know, in my experiences.

Oh, yeah, 100%, man. Someone ends up hurt right up, dissatisfied. Like, one moment you think like, oh, this is the queen bee. And then the next moment after you blow the load and you got that clarity, you know, then all of a sudden you're just like, whoa, hold up. Why am I not that, like, into you anymore? You know? And so then now it's like, it changes the whole dynamic of, like, the situation. And then more than anything, bro, like, we're creatures of habit. We're habitual creatures. That's what we are. Like, I, you know, I tell my clients this in the conquerors community, you know, and I'm like, hey, I know this sounds bad, but, you know, you're not who God says you are, and you're not who your pastor says you are. You're not who your parents say you are. Your friends say you are. You are what you. You are. The patterns that you practice daily that's, that's, that's who Frank, Frank Ortega is. The patterns that I practice daily, if I don't read my word, I don't got, I don't get the word in me, I'll start to lack faith. Therefore, even though God sees me as a man of faith, I'm not walking as him. And I won't be that until I readjust the patterns that I'm practicing on a daily basis. And so when it comes down to this scenario, it's like, man, you know, I was talking to a buddy about this. Like individuals married really struggled with like, you know, porn and masturbation and just thought that it was going to go away when they were married. And I thought that was going to go away when I was married too, bro. And then I would end up catching myself in the bedroom having a go with myself while my wife at the time was in her office. And I just remember in that moment thinking like, what the heck? And then, you know what, Fix that. And started saying, hey, you know, I don't want to struggle with this. So if I yell at you and say, let's get it on, just run to the room, like, gotta have that safety net, right? But the pattern never changed, bro. If I don't change the pattern today, what makes me think that the pattern is just automatically going to shift when something else comes into my life? That's just, that's just not how it works, right? And then, bro, there's another conversation to have on that which is like, interesting too. I was talking to another one of my boys who said that the lust calmed down a lot when he got married because he was able to, like, wife takes care of him, you know, sexually. He said, but what I noticed, and because I asked this question, I was like, did you notice an increase in sin in another area in your life though? He was like, yeah, man, I noticed my anger. Like, I was never angry back in the day when we were dating and having fun and all these things. Like, I struggled with lust and purity, but I didn't struggle with anger. And now I don't struggle with lust and purity, but now I struggle with anger. And so it's like there was a trade off almost that happened as far as struggle goes. Like, yeah, you're not struggling sexually anymore, but now you're struggling in these areas as well. And so I almost wonder if, like that's what it's going to be like, man. Like there's going to be a trade off where, okay, once there's victory here, now My flesh naturally is going to increase on these other areas. And so what ends up happening is we start learning, like Steve says, becoming a. What is it? A decapath.

The decathlon or Decathlete.

Yeah, decathlete. Where you're gaining not even like necessarily mastery, but you're, you're showing up third place, fourth place in all these areas instead of just first place in this one specific area. Does that make sense?

Yeah. So essentially I feel like what you're saying is, or, and, and for the record, our buddy was. He ran to Cathlon, which is a lot of different events, and I think it's like seven or eight events. And, and, and each event he finished second, fourth, fifth, sixth, third. And at the end of the year, he was an all American in that sport, and he didn't finish first in anything, but he showed up in everything, essentially. You may not master any one thing, but as long as you show up and fight the good fight, you're an all American. So I think that's a point you're trying to make. And then I was thinking, like earlier we were talking about how we show up, and sometimes we're inward focused instead of being outward focused on how can I give her the experience, how can I serve her, how can, how can this be about more than me? Right? So what do you do to shift from being inwardly focused to being outwardly focused? And then also, you know, I'm just thinking about this too. If you are too outwardly focused in a relationship, that could potentially maybe hinder her attraction towards you. So expound on that a little bit.

Okay, that's a really good question, bro. That's a really good question. Because we've been raised to do everything, like, for a woman. And so you got these young cats out there and these old cats. Because I don't just coach dudes that are younger than me. I've coached some dudes that are in their 50s, right? Like some of them in their mid-60s, and they were just blown away. And then as soon as they started practicing self respect, which really means standing up for yourself, which means stop pouring out when they start, started practicing that the attraction was created. So I think we got to understand what creates attraction. First of all, in, in women right now, this is where it gets really interesting. I have a lot of women clients. I think I've got more women clients than I have male clients. Right. And I just got a message today from a woman that knows me, that saw me post about the Holy and Horny podcast, and she just doesn't agree with the stuff that I post. But she's also single. And I'm like, dude, every woman says, I want a man that pursues me, right? And then there's those, like, you know, memes of like, if he wanted to, he would. Right? And so what's happening is we're creating this culture where like the women are saying, I want a man that's pursuing me. But what they're actually communicating with that. It's not a normal pursuit. It's like he's constantly trying and constantly trying and constantly coming for me. But that's not a. That doesn't build attraction in a woman. Like, bro, you could. And any woman who's listening to this right now, we'll probably drop like a Q A on all the episodes like we did on our trailer, where you can like leave a question, right? So you can write your little comment on there. You can message us on Instagram, right? But, but if you message us on Instagram or I'm just gonna go ahead and say this right now, if, if it's a good message that I feel like we could chat about. Oh, it's gonna get read on this podcast. Okay. We'll honor you. Keep the name private and anonymous. Right? But you might get blasted or you might blast us. You never know. So when it comes down to attraction, it's not over pursuing. Men always over pursue. And then the woman gets turned off. Like the women who have been the most quote unquote attracted to me, or you know, for, you know, podcast sake, you could say most horny towards me or the women that I didn't over pursue, I pursued them. But my number one goal and purpose was my mission and my purpose. That's it. But then the women now are saying, well, I need him to like pursue and pursue. And he's not texting me and this and that. And I'm like, dude, if you had a dude texting you all day, checking in on you, asking you how your day is going, by the time night time comes, you're not going to want to go out on a date with him. You're going to be like, oh, I'm. And every dude knows this. You get the text, man, I'm just so tired. I think I'm going to stay in tonight. You know what that means is, hey, you've over exhausted me and over pursued me. And really I'm not excited to see you anymore. So how do you recreate that excitement? You pull back and it's not a game, it's you Focus on investing into men and discipleship, and you focus on pursuing your mission and your purpose. So there's a pouring out that happens. And everyone says, like, well, how much do I pour out? How much this? And they get it. They try and like, make it this strategy. And bro, like, it's just, it's so simple. When you don't want to pour out, be honest about it. If you feel like you've over poured, be honest about it and say no. Like, hey, I know you're asking me to do this and that, but I gotta be honest with you. I feel like I've been pouring out a lot and there's been a lack of reciprocation. And so if I do this, I'm gonna get resentment towards you and then I'm gonna hop off on you, get pissed off. And I don't want to do that. So I would rather just tell you right now no and let you know that in order for me to start pouring out again, at least right now, I need to see XYZ from you. It's called a boundary, man. It's like men don't know boundaries because they're, they're not taught to have boundaries. Like, dude, if you as a man say what you prefer in a woman nowadays, you're a misogynist. Like, I put a quote, a post up on our Instagram, right, of hey, should a man date a masculine woman? And some dude was like, nah, dude, you need to like run from that if she XYZ. And he said something and I was like, 100%, you know? And then some woman commented and was like, oh, that's such misogynist. I was like, why? Because we have a preference. Because I don't want to be with a woman who's like, aggressive as hell and bossy and moody, which is also biblical. Like, even God tells you not to be like that as a woman. But you're calling me a misogynist because I have some level of boundary in my life. Like, please get the hell out of here. Like, I'm not dealing with that. No, no. So I think pouring out, bro, is beautiful because that's what relationships really are about. Like, think about if I was just always asking you to pour into me and I never, ever poured into you. Eventually you're just not going to connect no more. But the fact that it's reciprocated so often is what's created this amazing friendship. The same thing goes in dating. Does that make sense?

It makes sense. And, and what I'm hearing, you Say and the same thing. It kind of goes for that speech that I gave that I totally just ate it and, and stumbled over my words and, and did not bring my A game. I didn't know what I wanted out of that speech. I didn't know what my end game was, my desired outcome. So there was no boundaries to keep me within a frame. So I didn't have any direction. So that's why I think it's also important. Boundaries are important, but it's also important to tell somebody what you want. Yeah. Not ask them, but tell them. Because that's being masculine. That's being a man and saying, hey, listen, I'm busy. I don't have a lot of time to chat on the phone, nor do I like to text. And if you read, if you write me a two paragraph text or more, chances are I'm not gonna read it. So you're just writing the same.

Bro, I'm the same.

But Friday night, I don't have anything going on, so I want to hang out Friday night. What's up?

Yeah.

And then you want to hang out. That's pretty simple. And it's not like saying, can you hang out Friday night or, or will you hang out or do you have anything going on Friday night? You're saying, let's, you're saying, I got this going on, this going on, this going on, but I want to hang out with you Saturday night. And what's the worst thing they say I can't hang out Saturday night. But at least they know that you're not, you know, what you want. That's attractive.

Yeah, yeah. No, bro, 100%. There's these like, little words, man, that if you, if you, if you see someone messaging, you can kind of tell, like, if they're in a, in a place they're coming out of a place of like, weakness and almost like, oh, I hope, your highness that you give me the opportunity to spend some time with you. It's like, no, no, no. She's your equal, man. She's your equal. So you don't go in there like, hey, can you. Da, da, da, da, da. No, no. It's like, hey, I want to you down, right? Like, is there an agreement? This is my desire. Not just pretty please with a cherry on top. Can you make this happen for me? Like, no. And that's not attractive. Women are more attracted to the most dominant male. That's just how it is. Like, absolutely is how it is. Now dominant has gotten so, like, toxic, right? In this like, era that we're in. Like, you say the word dominant right now. Somebody just got triggered, man. Somebody's like, that's not true. We want a man who's emotionally intelligent. Well, being dominant doesn't mean you're not emotionally intelligent. It just means that you know what shots you're gonna call. For example, do you want a man who's always asking you, hey, what do you want for dinner? Most women that are single will say yes. I would like to be considered in that. Most women that have been married for a while say no. Don't really want them to ask me, because it always turns into an argument. Bro, how many dudes do you know that they're like, hey, baby, like, so, what do you want to eat tonight? I don't know. Just, you know, pick. Pick, whatever. No, no, tell me, like, what do you want to eat, bro? I see it happen often, even just with my dad. I'm like, dad, stop asking and start telling her, like, hey, baby, we're gonna have this for dinner. And then guess what? Now, she can either agree to it or she can bring an option, and that makes your life easier now. Now you're not pulling teeth. So, yeah, bro, 100%. Being able to communicate what you want, I think is massive. And what you do, you don't want. And I think we've been so scared to communicate those things because people have taken it as rude or aggressive. And that's not at all what it is. It's like if you go up to a girl, right? And you're like, hey, like, I want to take you out on a date because I think that you're attractive. She's like, well, what are you looking for? Well, I'm looking for a wife. But first, I need to get to know you, dude. Like, I'm not trying to get married in a month right now, because all I know is that you're beautiful. I don't know what you bring to the table yet, right? And there's these. This, like, energy right now in the dating scene. I'm sure you've experienced it where I'm not gonna waste my time. There was a message that I got once where it was like, I'm only dating the man that God created for me. That's who I'm waiting for. I'm like, how are you gonna know who he is if you never go out on a date? Goofy, like, right? How you gonna find them? You think God's just gonna drop them in front of you and be like, hey, that's the man that I created for you right there. And you think that that dude after two dates is gonna treat you like a queen. He doesn't even know you yet. I don't know how you handle stressful situations. I don't know how you're going to be treating my family. I don't know how you treat your own family. I don't know how much you actually genuinely love the Lord. Right. I don't know if you're just saying you do love the Lord, but you don't even like reading your word or spending time in prayer. I don't know any of that yet. But on date number two, you want me to treat you like your Beyonce. That's just not how it works. It's unrealistic, man. It's unrealistic expectations. And that kills attraction too.

Right? So essentially, what to wrap everything up here, like we talk about the importance of like creating experiences and like, that's how you have a good time is like you take these moments that may not seem like much, but you may never have them again. Chances are you you'll never have them again quite like you had them or quite like you're in the, the, the frame to have them now. So you take these moments and you take these experiences and you're flexible to have a good time outside of your comfort zone. You seek having a good time outside your comfort zone. You seek experiences. And then, you know, so we, we hit on that. Creating a good experience for your son, your daughter, your friends, your co workers. But most importantly, like in the dating scene, creating a good experience for the girl that you're with. And life throws wrenches. So we're talking about just like we're going out to eat and there's a 30 minute wait. Well, how can we fill this 30 minutes up? Where's the best part of the day? Like, what's something quick? And that takes being a leader. Not. I'm not asking you what would you would like to do. Men are less passive than women are. We're built to be less passive. We're built to lead. That's why we have testosterone running through our body. That's why we hunt. That's why, you know, we fish. We're leaders. So essentially experiences being a leader. Then we talked about. What else did we talk about, Frank?

Clarity, man.

Clarity.

Having clarity as far as like your mission and your purpose and who you are. And those things are developed also through those experiences, man. Like, once you got next level clarity, you'll have next level confidence, which will really help you create attraction and Sustain it, man. Which is like, the key thing. Like, you can't trick. You can trick a woman for 90 days, man, for maybe even for six months, but eventually they're going to realize real quickly, like, you're not who you say you are. Which is why these stupid, like, you know, videos out there teaching you how to, like, attract a woman, that's. But not teaching you how to sustain it. It's because it's not a trick that you do. It's an individual you become. And so you need clarity for that.

So that might be something important we can hit on on another podcast. Is like, because I can. I've seen the. The benefits from having a vision for my business and for my health and for my wealth. Like, man, just putting it down on paper, being crystal clear on it, has made wild things happen for me. So what about a vision on dating or, like, goals on dating? Knowing your strengths in dating, knowing your weaknesses in dating, getting crystal clear on your mission, your values, and your vision for dating. And I think just putting that on paper, if it's anything like what I've experienced using goals my entire, like, last six or seven years, which has been, I could tell you crazy. I could tell you a God story from this week, but I think putting that down on paper and just knowing what you bring to the table and then knowing what weaknesses and threats you also have so you can work against them and. And play against them, I think it's going to open up a whole nother level and allow you to really go after not just something you think you can get and you think you may be happy with, but maybe a whole nother level of woman that you would be proud of that you would be like, man, this is not just God, Jones. This is God giving me the. The knowing the desires of my heart and giving me the exact woman I feel like is built for me. But if I'm not who he built me to be, if I'm not showing up how he built me to be, then how would I be prepared to pull a level of woman like that?

Yeah. And it's what Steve says, Give God something to work with, man.

Right.

Like, I think vision for what we want in life gives God something to work with. Because if I've got vision, which I do, that in 10 years, we will be hosting a holy and horny marriage conference. Right. And I will be involved with Champions in Christ Ministries as well. The. As well as the Conquerors Organization. Right. If I've got vision for these three things that I'm actually doing right now and I go on a date with somebody doesn't even believe in the Lord, I'm out of alignment, right? Automatically a dq, you know what I'm saying? Like, that makes, that makes it real easy. If I've got vision for a family that, hey, we pray in the spirit, we are evangelists, we lay hands on people and people get healed. We move in the prophetic. But I'm on a date with someone and they're like hardcore Baptist and they don't even believe in the movement of the Holy Spirit. That makes it, that makes my decision easy. Then I'm out of alignment. I'm out of alignment. That doesn't, that doesn't correlate with the vision that I want. But once we got vision, we give God something to work with. He's like, okay, now you know where you're headed, son. So now I can give you the, the resources that you need. Right? Not calling a woman a resource. So no feminists get pissed off about that. That's not what I'm saying. Right. I'm just saying God will bring in the right people at the right time so the right things can happen. But we got to have some level of vision for that.

I feel like that's good, man. That's good. And I was just thinking, like, if I desire to have a family and to continue to, to grow a family and be fruitful and multiply and I'm with a woman with like, you know, two or three kids and that's okay too. But what if I want my own children? She's like, no, I'm done. That lets me know right there. So just knowing exactly what's non negotiable and what you can work with allows you to have vision and allows you to call just people that aren't for you. And instead of wasting time because it's easy to waste time and we get lonely and we go back to our exes or something comfortable because, you know, man, she's pretty cool. And man, you know, it's been, I've been working my butt off and like I'm trying to hang out, go out of town and chill and this is just easy. And instead of doing that, man, we, we know what we're focused on. We know what we have to have and we can see the vision so well and so clearly that we know anything that's. Counterfeit.

Exactly. And then guess what happens? We get to be pros and practice being pros and making decisions based off of our commitments, not off of our feelings. Is what we get to do, right? And so I think. I think this topic, bro, would be huge for any man that's listening right now. And if a woman gets a hold of this episode for her, too, like, you should have a vision of what kind of husband you want so that you're not out there dating some dealer. Whenever you're wanting to have a ministry with a dude is like, bro, bro, how sad is it that. And we could do a whole episode on this, too, man. But how sad is it that most people right now are making decisions to spend their life supposedly, allegedly spend their life with someone based out of fact? That I just feel alone, right? Like, that's their requirement is, can you feel this space in my life? That's it. Just be like, so some of these dudes that, you know, have, like, not worked with me, and they stay in this, like, victim mindset, but I've met with them for a consultation. They're just like, you know, like, I just want someone who's there for me. Do you really, though? Like, do you really just want a body that exists in the household, or do you want somebody that actually aligns with what you want? The problem is you don't even know what you want yet, right? All you want to do is, like, not be lonely. That's. That's it. All you want to do is not be lonely. Like, that is such a low level of thinking that we can't get mad at God when things don't work out and we made decisions based off of, well, I just don't want to be alone. It's like going out and getting a job just because, well, I just don't want to be broke. It's like, you end up in a job that you don't enjoy, that you have no vision for, that you don't see it going anywhere.

You.

And then, guess what happens. Midlife crisis. Next thing you know, you wake up, you're like, this is not at all where I ever wanted to be. Well, no, duh. We didn't have vision for where we wanted to be. So I think this, bro, this episode would be a really good one to, like, really dive into. And I think a really good episode also for, like, the men listening to these podcasts, is how to be vulnerable with a woman. And I think it would be cool to bring in some dudes that have had some, like, experience in this on how can you be vulnerable with a woman to the point where it doesn't kill attraction? Because it does kill attraction if all you're giving her is your problems. She's not your therapist and she's not your mommy. As much as you want her to be, she's not. You can be her daddy, though. You can be her daddy, though.

Well, I will, I will tell you, you can be vulnerable about your struggles as long as you're telling a story and this, the outcome's a beautiful thing and you're just going through some struggles that you went through, but you don't let them feed in. Like you don't give them, allow them to give you the boohoo. No, hold. You know, let me finish. You and you t. You're telling a story about how that struggle in life or, or how that shortcoming or failure made you tougher, made you a better individual, made you have more clarity. Just whatever, as long as you. As long as that's what it is. But if you're just dumping, nobody wants to hear that.

Nobody wants to be dumped on, man, except for R. Kelly. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's it.

That's it. So, yeah, that was good stuff. And I do want to put a label on this. I do want to put a post game label on this and say that I'm not speaking from a great level of education or a great level of history on these topics, man, I have fallen short and gotten it wrong a bunch. And I'm going to tell some of those stories about how I got it so wrong that it caused crazy things to happen around me and just, just wild, you know, chaos. I'm going to tell you about chaos based on not having vision for. For what I wanted, not having clarity for what I wanted and settling for something less than what I want, need out of life. And also, like, I've been the dude that's been able to smoke it down most of my life. And then I've also struggled with dry seasons, too. So I don't have it all figured out. But that's why I like coming on here and bouncing ideas, because I do think a strength of mine is being a leader. And I do think a strength of mine is hurting people's feelings when it's time to hurt people's feelings. And I do think that those are attractive qualities to women. And I do think men should become less passive, more aggressive about what they want if they. Especially if they know that what they want is good for others. So it's like, if I had this all figured out, I'd be married and have a couple more kids right now and this would be a different story. But Stay tuned because we're moving in the right direction.

Yeah, watch the progression happen. Yeah, thanks for saying, bro, because some of these things that we were chatting about, it's like I was thinking of them as I was talking about it, especially the vision thing. So I've never really done that before, but it just makes sense to me now because I'm seeing it. Like there's a podcast I used to do and it was with an individual and I told him, I said, hey, bro, like, I'm only making moves according to my 10 year vision. I'm like, so in my 10 year vision, I've got a million salvations noted down. So if. Is this podcast going to help me get a million salvations? If it's not, I can't do it no more. You know, and this individual didn't want me to like, talk much about like, you know, religion and things like that on there. And I'm like, bro, like, I wear a Jesus's king shirt half the time, bro. And I wear more than a conqueror hat all the time. I'm like, so it's kind of gonna come up quite a bit. So I made a decision based off of my vision. And so that's what I was thinking through this too. So, yeah, thanks for saying that, guy. Because it's true. Like, we don't have it all figured out. Like, we got some experiences that we can talk off of and hindsight is always like 2020, right? And so I can look back at areas where I messed up and where I didn't do things the way that it should have. But like I said, I do want everyone to stay tuned because I think that there's going to be four, four hosts on this podcast one day, man. There's going to be me, you, and wifey and wifey.

And I think we're going to double date in Austin, Texas and make some people uncomfortable around us and see what happens. And then I think it also, that may drive Travis terrible and and Steve to hang out a little more closely and work on their relationship while me and you are, are doing our thing.

Yes, sir. Hey, bro, I'm so down. I'm so down. Hey, so thank you for tuning in to the Holy and Horny podcast, man. We appreciate you guys for real. Like, we do this so that we can create an impact in the lives of men. And we just, we just want to use our experiences and what we've gone through to help serve some of you right. And like I said, we don't think we got got it all figured out, right? But if you subscribe to our line of thought, then, man, subscribe to this podcast and send it to one of your friends. And I'm telling you, like, some of these things that we covered today, though, if you practice them and you do them and you put them to play, you're going to see some results. So make sure you subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to our YouTube channel, and follow us on Instagram. Message us with any questions that you might have. We'll catch you guys on the next episode. I love the Lord, and I love people that need the Lord.

I'm just tired of being fake. And if I got to be fake and I can't be real, the Bible says, confess your sin to one another. I love you. I honor you. And you are like, you're fruit of the ministry, man.