Leaving your kids for work sucks...

All right, all right. Episode 10. Here we go. 10. So, Frank, I want to ask you a question. And actually, it's a question for everybody listening and watching. Have you ever had to leave to go to work and your daughter just saying, don't leave, dad. Don't leave?

Oh, yeah, all the. All the time, man. It's. It's funny because right now, I have her for the month. You know what I'm saying? And even like this, this past week, I've been going up to, like, you know, the Hustle headquarters to work there, and she gets so mad because, well, first of all, she wakes up really late. So by the time that I'm awake and gone, like, she's still sleeping. So when she wakes up, my mom's there. And, dude, it was so funny the other day when we were going to sleep, she was like, papa, why aren't you here? Whenever I wake up, I think it's.

Funny she calls you Papa because that's what normally you call, like, your grandpa bro. It's.

But it's okay because my girlfriend was saying the same thing. She was like, where'd she get that and whatnot? But I'm like, it's because in Spanish, Papa is dad. Yeah, but she doesn't have the Spanish accent, so it relates to Papa. So I guess in her eyes, I'm old. I don't know. But she was like. She was saying, papa, why, when I wake up, you're not here? And I told her. I was like, well, baby, it's because I have to go to work. And she obviously got really mad and sad, and she was like, well, wake me up. And I told her, I was like, you want to go to work with me? She was like, no. She was like, but I want to see you.

And I was like, anything with that? The word work? Yeah. Kids naturally say no automatically.

They just check out immediately. But so what I started doing was I wake her up, and I tell her, like, hey, I'm gonna leave, you know, and all this stuff. And then she'll, like, cuddle for a little bit, and then she still gets sad, and it sucks, you know, I mean, like, just to leave her there because she's just sitting there, like, sad that I'm leaving. And you're like, you know, we all know the feeling of I'm trying to do what I need to do so that later on, we can have the freedom to hang out as much as we want. You know what I mean? Like, I want her to be 25 and be like, dad, let's go to Cancun.

Let's go. Good luck with that.

I hope so. I hope so, man.

You'll have to be the freaking coolest dad in the world. And all her friends are gonn. I think you're a dilf.

That's the aim, right in that. What Maddie said he was. Maddie was telling me how, like, his daughter, she is 14 right now, and for her 18th birthday, she wants to go to Vegas, but she wants to go with him. He wants her to go with her and her friends at 18.

At 18, that's an odd age to go to Vegas.

Yeah. I don't know why that's what she wanted. Maybe it was her 21st. Who knows? But he told her. He was like, trini, I need you to understand that if I go, you're gonna have to deal with all of your little friends checking out your hot dad.

I love it.

And I'm like, that's. That's a. That's not what I want. That sounds a little creepy, but I'm like, goose, all of your friends are gonna love me. Like, guys and girls, you know? I mean, like, all the guy friends are gonna be like, I want to chill with your dad. You know, Like, I want to go train with him, or I want him to train me, or I want him to, like, teach me guitar, or I want, like, whatever.

And dude, just from experience growing up, for whatever reason, because we've all had friends where, like, their parents were super cool, you know, they let you, like, drink beer before you're 21 or whatever the case is. And it's like, that who. The son or the daughter. Your friend hates the fact that your friends, like your mom or dad.

It's so true.

I don't know why that is, but it's just. It's so true.

But it's because they think that you're weird and lame. And then the. Your friend. Their friends see the real you, and they're like, no, they're. They're pretty tight.

Yeah. All right.

But, yeah, it sucks. It sucks leaving my little girl every morning. It's. It's. It's just tough emotionally because it's that constant. And we've talked about it a little bit before. It's that battle between, I know what I have to do, and I know what I want to do.

Right? And. Which is kind of a good segue into what I wanted to bring up. And, you know, we're both entrepreneurs and have been for the majority of our career, and we have the. We. We. It's been A blessing that, you know, I haven't had to, you know, had. I. I guess I have had to, but it's just one of those things. It's like I. After reading a lot of, like, feedback and. And comments and some of the single dad Facebook groups, you know, it's like, yeah, that's one of the biggest things that we hear with moms and dads, just single parents in general. Yeah, it's like kids, you know, they. They hate the fact that you have to go to work, but at the end of the day, they. They can't comprehend that you have to do that. But it's. If you could fast forward to when they're 18, they will understand. Yeah, but that doesn't help you today. And, you know, it's like, it doesn't help how it makes you feel. It doesn't help, you know, the emotions that they have currently and that it, you know, leaves you with, so.

Yeah, and exactly the emotions that it leaves you with because you also leave feeling bad.

Sure.

Knowing that you're doing what you're supposed to, but. But seeing a kid like that always, always hurts. You know what I mean? But I love that, like, what we want to talk about is entrepreneurship. And yes, we are both entrepreneurs, but then at the same time, we realize that not everybody out there has a passion to be an entrepreneur. And so we just kind of want to talk about some ways that entrepreneurship has helped us be more available. Um, and then hopefully give some. Some good ideas for anyone to, like, just implement in their life if they want to, like, have a little bit more time, freedom. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. So for lack of a better term, kind of a teaser, I would like to, before the end of this episode, talk about some ideas and some things that I've done and known people that have done to create passive income and create more time, just in general, whether it's to be with your kids or just whatever. And so we'll get to that. Yeah, definitely before the end of the episode. So you guys have some good takeaways and hopefully some ideas and thoughts that some of you out there might, you know, capitalize on.

I love what you just did there. You just pretty much told them, if you want the good stuff, stay, listen to the full episode lock, locking them in. I like that I told him it was a teaser, but I like what you said. You can get your time back, get more time. Because the one thing that we, no human has more of is time. We all have the exact same amount of time and Once you lose that time, you can't get it back. And I think as parents, we need to look at ways. Right. To create more time to be able to invest into them. Because if we don't, then we're going to be feeling what we're feeling all the time.

And as you say that the majority of people listening or watching are going, how the hell do you do that? Easier said than done, right?

Yeah.

Because everybody, everybody wants to invest more time. And we're talking about in our children and the relationships and of course, nothing. I mean, it's priceless. I mean, it's cliche to say, you know, there's nothing more valuable than time.

Yeah.

So how can I create more time? Well, that's kind of what I want to talk about and share some potential ways and also just kind of talk about, you know, what, what, what is causing the biggest. I mean, why, why do you have. Why are you not having enough time right now and kind of break it down? And a lot of times you'll figure out that it's just prioritization. Yeah. You know, you know, how are you prioritizing your time? How much time are you spending doing this, this, this, and break it down and see that if you can shave off 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there.

Yeah.

And it is true. I guarantee by doing that you will be able to add an additional, you know, 45 minutes or hour.

Yeah.

And how you choose to spend that time, obviously, with, with your, with your children.

That. That's so true. And honestly, one of the things that I've done that's kind of helped me, quote, unquote, create more time is I've done my best to eliminate any sort of financial need that I don't really need. Right. And so if you start thinking about time in, in money wise, for example, if anyone listening here, if you have a 9 to 5 and you make, you know, let's just say 15 to $17 an hour, well, now you can't look at an hour as an hour. You have to look at it as $17. And so if you're able to cut an expense that is costing $17, now you're able to get another hour back. Because guess what? Now you don't have to work that one hour to pay that one expense type of thing. And honestly, that kind of just makes more sense when you're like an entrepreneur because you can make your own schedule. But that's one of the things that I've done is I want to minimize my expenses as much as possible. So right Now I pretty much only have like three big payments, which is my, my car and then child support and then just like my bills. Right.

Like. Right.

But other than that, I really don't have that many expenses. But before I had like a jiu jitsu gym that was 150 bucks a month. And then I had a normal gym that was like 40 something dollars a month. Like that's 200 extra dollars that I'd have to be making money for grinding for to be able to keep doing, which would then take me away from my kid a little bit longer.

So let me ask you this, Frank. What, what is. Because I know it's. It's important for a lot of people. I know it's important for a lot of people to.

Is it blinking or is it.

No, it's good.

Okay, perfect.

It was. Blink for a second.

Oh, okay.

Sorry about that. People. It's very important for, for me, like, what I feed my son. And I know it's important for parents what they feed their kids. And you know, putting food on the table is obviously a huge priority. And what you put on that table, you want it to be as healthy as possible. So what do you put on the table for your daughter and how healthy is it and how much is it costing you?

Yeah, so not my proudest moment. I don't put healthy stuff on the table for my little girl right now. It's like, bro, it's so, it feels so impossible. And this is a, this is a whole nother topic, but I'll hit on it a little bit. It feels so impossible to get her accustomed to eating healthy because all she's eaten like that she's accustomed to is pizza, Mac and cheese, chicken Alfredo.

Yeah.

And then chick fil, a chicken nuggets. You know what I'm saying? And I was actually talking to my girlfriend about this. I was like, I want to be very intentional about making her like, eat healthy food and train her in that. But the only way you can train a kid in that is if you have them for an extended period of time is repetition. Exactly. And if, okay, you don't want to eat, that's fine. Then, then don't eat. But this is what there is to eat. And then once they get hungry enough, they will begin to eat that.

Exactly right.

But then I was telling her, I'm like, now as a single parent, as a single dad, specifically, I struggle with, well, she's only here every now and then, you know what I mean? And so when she comes here, am I going to like, Be the person in her mind that's like punishing her to do that kind of thing. And it's like that whole emotional thing. And that's where I have to find the balance between like being like the fun dad and actually being a dad. That is creating structure and upholding that kind of thing. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. And this is where it comes into your habits. Carry over to their habits.

Yeah.

What you're eating is what basically what you're keeping in the house is what they're going to eat.

Well, so I, I don't eat pizza and Mac and cheese and chicken Alfredo. I always have to order in for her.

And that gets expensive though, right?

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

I have to do it a lot.

Yeah, absolutely. It really does get expensive. And so that's one of the things that I'm really trying to like, implement next is it's just, hey, goose, this is what I'm eating. But right now I'm kind of mainly doing a strict carnivore diet. And so to put a kid on a carnivore diet is a little intense.

Nine year old don't understand that she's.

Going to be like, dad, there's nothing else but meat to eat. I'm like, yup, that's what we're eating.

Good luck with that.

Yeah. So I got to, I got to figure something out, man. Why'd you ask me that? But at least everyone can know, like, hey, I don't have everything figured out and maybe you guys are also on the same boat. But I can say that it's been on the back of my mind, it's been weighing on me. But then I'm also fighting those both in like, emotional struggles of like, if I start doing that, like she's gonna just be wanting to go to her mom's because dad's doing this. And you don't want to feel that sense of rejection. And that's just where it, I think that's the hardest part is honestly getting past that emotional battle.

Yeah. And, and I guess this, this is a good, I guess, way to, you know, comparing, you know, I've been a single dad for, you know, longer than, than you have, so I've already gone through the stages of, you know, 5 year old, 7 year old, 8 year old, 10 year old, and now teenager. And it changes every year.

Yeah.

So you have that to look forward.

To, but just when you think you got your hands on it or got a grip on it changes on you.

But, but it's, it, but One thing you need to. That I've learned, and this is just me sharing some wisdom, you have to start at a young age and create, you know, the repetition. Even when you only have your kids, you know, for an extended amount of time or a month in the summer and then half the time or whatever the case is for whoever, repetition. So when they're at your house and, you know, just put. Put out on the table, make them try different things. And this is what you get to eat. And at the end of the day, it's like they will eat.

Yeah.

Because they're gonna get hungry. And it's not like you're gonna starve.

Yeah. It's just. It's hard.

It's hard. It's hard, but it's one of those things you have to power through as a parent.

Dang.

Sucks. I mean, if it were easy, then we probably wouldn't be having this podcast.

That's very true. So it's very true.

It's just my advice for anyone who has this issue and is starting at a young age or has already been there, they can maybe confirm, but you have to create the repetition, create the rules. And that way as they get older and they have that ability to, you know, tell you a little bit more how they feel about it.

Yeah.

Then it's, you know, they're not going to be so teenagerish about it, you know, you know, they're not going to way of saying jerks, just trying to keep it nice. But. Yeah. So point. Point of everything is start as young as possible and maintain repetition. Works not just for food, but with everything. And so that's my advice. Take it if you want, don't if you want. But it's. It's tough. It's tough, you know, but that really.

Is tough, getting them to eat healthy. But going back to the entrepreneurship part, I really do believe, and I know Scott does too, that if. If you feel a drive to that, I would say pursue it, because it's going to be the number one way that you get to create your own schedule. More than likely. There's so many different opportunities right now where you're able to work from home, from. Especially after Covid, like, it's like it sparked a light bulb in people and they were like, oh, hey, we can use our computers for what they're meant for. And that means working from wherever I am at. You know, I mean.

Right.

And I know that's like, I don't want to sound insensitive because I know there's some people are like no, that's impossible. I've tried and tried and I would be sensitive to that. But at the same time, if you genuinely feel a drive to be an entrepreneur, then I say go for it. Because it is tough, it is hard. There is so many ups and downs. I would almost say there's more downs than ups. But then once you get your big up, like it just changes things things a little bit. But you do have the flexibility to be at the baseball games, to be at the practices, to be at the father, father, daughter luncheons, breakfast, like those things without having to go to a boss and beg them for permission and not like write you up if you don't show up.

Basically is what you're doing is you're opening doors to how you use your time.

So that's really good way.

The challenge is like being able to say, okay, I can wake up two hours earlier or an hour earlier and get some work done, which opens up time to be at the soccer practice or whatever and after dinner let them have some free time and you start doing some work and then after they go to bed also do some work. So you can kind of, you know, create your own schedule and you can pop an hour in here, an hour in there. If you have a job or a business that allows you to, to, to work in, you know, chunks, like an hour here, an hour there, you know, and you know, off the top of my head, like creating social media content.

Yeah.

That's something that allows you to do that from anywhere. You know, you could be in your car waiting.

Creating content.

Yeah, creating content for a business or any. That's just one example. And so as I said in the beginning, I'll give some ideas out there for those of you who have had the desire to take that step into the world of entrepreneurship or be a dadpreneur or even a mompreneur.

Yeah.

Because more and more babe, a boss babe. Yeah. More and more people are finding ways to do it. And Covid, I think demonstrated and showed a lot of different ways that that can happen. So even working for somebody. But yeah, as far as entrepreneurship goes, if you guys haven't heard of a website called Flippa, it's F L I p p a flippa.com. it is a website where you can buy and sell domains. You can, people have apps, turnkey that you can buy that are already making money, you can buy or you can buy websites, you can create drop ship companies which for those of you who don't know what drop ship, it's Basically you're not having to put up money for the products. You're just create. You have a website, you advertise whatever it is that you're selling and when they order it comes straight from said manufacturer, usually in China, and is delivered directly to your clients. So it really comes down to advertising and getting in and learning how to do that, which anybody could do with no experience. It's something that I've done in the past a couple of times and had some, a little bit of success with. So check out flippa.com for those of you who are thinking about getting into the world of entrepreneurship but don't know exactly what you might want to do.

By the way, this episode is not sponsored by Flippa or anything. We genuinely just want to help.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It's just, it's a way that I know I've, a lot of people I know have gotten in to the entrepreneurial world, starting with Flippa, which is why I bring it up. Because yeah, if, even if you don't buy something or you know, you know, get involved in something on there, it'll get your wheels turning.

Yeah.

You know, and it gives you some ideas and make, oh, maybe I can do this or do that.

So I, I know even for me when I was working a 9 to 5, I was working like an insurance job. If I needed an hour or whatever, I talked to the like the supervisor and I was like, hey, if I come in early and stay late, you know, a couple days a week, can I use those hours like on other uncertain times? You know what I'm saying? And yeah, I mean thankfully this supervisor was pretty cool with it and so I was able to get what I needed to done. And the days that I didn't have my little girl, I would work more. So that then whenever I did have her, I could get off at 2230 to go pick her up and not be like, hey mom, go pick her up or hey bro, go pick her up. And then I'll see you guys at 5:30 and then have to drop her off at 8:30, you know what I mean? Like for sure. Just that's, that's one way that might help somebody who has like a normal job. And, and sometimes it just feels like nearly impossible. I know like from, for my girlfriend, she has a full time job and she has her little girl almost all the time.

How old are is her little girl?

She's two.

Okay.

And so for her she gets really just frustrated because she wants to do something to be able to open up Time and space for her and her little girl, but she practically can't. Because when you have a little two year old that is so dependent on you, which they all are at two, it's like you don't have the time to be able to say, hey, give me one second, let me work on this really quickly until they pass out. But then by the time they passed out, like I see her all the time, she's so intentional with her that she's exhausted and done from working a full day and then being super intentional with her little girl. And so I know that seems like impossible at times, but I mean, the best thing that I could say is like, just, just keep your head up in those moments and, and find something that you're extremely passionate about. Because once you're extremely passionate about it, even when you're tired, you kind of go for it, which is how a lot of us keep being parents, even when we're exhausted.

Absolutely. And so to kind of wrap things up, I mean, those of you who have jobs that you have to go to and there's really not another option for you, and taking that step into the entrepreneurial world isn't for you, or you just can't, for whatever reason, work on the prioritization and figuring out where you can shave a little bit of time here and there. And also just know that your kids, I know right now, emotionally it's difficult for both of you.

Yeah.

Or all of you, I should say. But just know when they get older, they will appreciate it and look back and say, my mom or my dad sacrificed so much and they'll be so appreciative. So keep that in the back of your mind or at the front of your mind when you know, you're going through those, those emotions that we all have or had. And for those of you who are interested in getting into the entrepreneurial world, I may regret saying this, but I'd be happy to schedule a time to discuss or talk with anybody who has an idea or needs some help doing it. You know, I've been an entrepreneur and been in multiple industries my entire career, so I am offering help and I'm passionate about helping people. And if I have time, I will help as many people that reach out that I can. So. And you know, keep in mind, Flippit.com is a great way to potentially find something that you didn't know you that was out there or maybe get your wheels turning and get you into that entrepreneurial world in some form or fashion.

Yeah, that's awesome. Well, man, we hope you guys enjoyed this. I know I did. I love entrepreneurship. I love the mindset that entrepreneurs carry. I'm just so drawn to that. And I love just how it's helped me just in this journey alone. And I know it's helped you a ton in your journey. And, guys, remember, follow us on social media, on Instagram, we are the Single Dads Podcast. And on Tick Tock, we are Single Dads Podcast without the V. And then on YouTube, we are the Single Dads Podcast.

And so just subscribe.

Yeah, send us messages. We're responding to comments and to messages. We're not sitting there thinking that we are all high and mighty and just never respond to anyone. The whole point of this is to build a community.

We will respond. In fact. Yeah, season two is going to be. Our goal for season two is to be very interactive. Have guests of listeners that have kind of unique stories or maybe not so unique just to, you know, throw something out there that people can relate to that maybe they found some unique solutions to. So we. We plan to be very interactive and kind of change things up. We're even gonna upgrade our studio and our equipment so you guys can have a better experience listening and watching as well.

Yeah. We are doing whatever we can to make this as awesome as possible for everyone. And we would appreciate you guys help in any way that you can, whether that's sharing the episodes, whether that's liking the videos that helps us a ton.

Or telling how we suck. So we cannot suck.

Leave it in the comments. We won't get butt hurt. I promise. I'll try. I will try. Not.

He's a little more sensitive than I am.

I am.

I'll. I'll comfort him.

Don't worry.