One of a single parents biggest fears...

What's up, single parents?

Welcome up, everyone.

Hope you're having a phenomenal, phenomenal day. Excited about this episode. This episode we're going to be talking about probably one of the top fears that a divorced parent experiences.

Okay.

And this is recommitting. Recommitting to someone and having the fear of, am I going to get blindsided again? Because it is a risk, and it's a risk that we all have to be willing to take if we want to experience what we've always dreamed of experiencing. Right.

So, like, how. How many people out there have some kind of fear in the back of their head or the front of their mind that the next potential relationship that they get into is going to have a lot of similarities that your previous one did, and you don't want that to happen. So you fear. And you're almost too picky as to whom you might date or go out with.

Or you just show up with your walls up and protecting yourself, which leads to. I mean, I'll hit on that here in a little bit because it's something that, you know, I walk my clients through quite a bit. But it's just very simple. Like, if that's what you fear, you show up protective, which means there's no room for emotional connection, which leads to. If there's no emotional connection in relationships, Scott, what would you do?

Bounce.

So the very thing that you feared, you created. Wild how that works, right? So that's what we're going to cover today. But before we jump into it, we have. We've been talking about this now for a couple weeks. An exciting announcement. I'm sure y' all know what. What the exciting announcement is, so. Scott, tell them.

So, guys, we've talked about this for, sadly, longer than a couple of weeks, but it's been a long time coming. The Single Dads app is now live in the Apple Store and Google Play Store. When you search for it on your iPhone, simply search the Single Dads podcast. If you have an Android, you are a minority. No, I'm just kidding.

If you have an Android, stop listening to this podcast.

Totally kidding. Android, guys. If you have an Android, when you search for the app, search for TSD and then the word podcast, the Single Dads. So TSD podcast for you Android lovers. But yes, man, everything is out. I also want to make another announcement. We probably gonna let things. Just let everyone check the app out, get in, download it, play around. Of course, all of our podcast episodes are gonna be on there as they come out, and I'm gonna be adding a blog every week. There's going to be a chat room. So you guys can actually, if you decide to, you know, say I'm from Dallas, Texas or I'm from Argyle, New York or wherever. People will be able to see where you are if you're active, if you've been recently active. So you can actually reach out to, to each other if you need someone to chat with, collaborate with, provide support, get support. So that's going to be one of the features. And once we get 25 donors that are signed up.

Not organ donors, right?

Not organ.

That's a big price to pay.

But you'll, you'll see the page for donations and I, I, I wish I could convey the amount of time and resources and, and effort and money that has gone into this, but we're not looking to make money by any means. This is, was built for you guys and to expand in our community. Yeah. And, and personalize and allow you, allow you guys to talk about whatever the hell you want to talk about. And so we're gonna say start having a support group. We're gonna, I'm also gonna be doing a group on side hustles, starting businesses and multiple other things. There's even a page in there that you guys can for, for topic requests.

So it's gonna be awesome, man.

Here's what I want, here's what I'm gonna do for the. Once we get the 50th person to donate $10 or more on a recurring basis, which is next to nothing, I'm one, one of you 50. I'm going to give a $500. I'm going to give 500 bucks to. Whether I email you a Amex or a gift card or I've got one in my wallet and I'll overnight it to you, whatever. And if you donate $20 each, $10 increment, your name will go in the hat an additional time. So that's incredible. We really, really appreciate all of you guys. We created this for you and your involvement is imperative to allow it to grow and it's a place for you guys to come and find support, give support, collaborate with other single dads. And I cannot wait to start having a live support group that Frank and I are going to do and we'll be able to see all of your bright shiny faces and, and we're gonna connect, man, connect with you guys a good time. Once we, you know, we'll probably keep the, the rooms, we'll have breakout rooms and things like that. We'll have you know, we're gonna structure it and format it right.

And everything.

So. Yeah. Anyway, I feel like I did all that in one breath, but it's good, though. Very excited to get it out and hope to see a lot of downloads and hopefully a few donations and anybody that wants to win 500 bucks. Yeah, throw a stin bucks.

Love that, man. Love that.

That's.

That's. Man, it's crazy. That. And I just want to let you know if you're. If you're listening to this, I want to let you in on this. It's wild because approximately a year ago, almost exactly this was an idea and that's all it was. And now it's being executed and it's happening. And I mean, let's be honest, the only reason why this is happening is, is because there is a massive desire to help specifically single dads and to be there specifically for single dad single parents in general. But, like, I'm not gonna lie, like, my heart burns for single parents, but I know that single dads feel so outcasted and out, like, of everything so often. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, it's time to join the party. It's time to show you that we are here for you. And that's what all this started off.

The conversation started, like, me saying, and you always hear on Mother's Day, like, props to single moms, but on Father's Day, you never hear about props to single dads.

No, you actually hear props to single moms for also being single dad.

That. That literally was like the topic that started the conversation that led to everything.

That'S happening now beyond that. And if you're listening, this, this is all for you. This is all for your kids. This is all. This is all for your future. This is all for your legacy. That's what all of this is for. Because, I mean, like, just being brutally honest, we wouldn't have to do this. We wouldn't have to do that. I could take. Me and Scott both could take this entire day to continue to build the businesses that we're building and continue to worry about our legacy and worry about our kids and our finances. But we take a time to plan, to organize, to. To obviously do research, to what can we offer? Right? And it's for you. And so I want you to know that even if I haven't met you personally, I care about you deeply. And I know that sounds so cliche, but I'm telling you, if we ever got on a call together, like, you would know it. And I would be your number one supporter. I'd be the number one person that encourages you to follow your dreams, and I'd be the number one person that would challenge you so that you do not settle for anything less than you deserve. And that is kind of what this episode is about. Not settling for what you deserve or don't deserve. I don't know how I misworded that.

I think everyone gets it.

Yeah.

And I want to give a shout out to a few people that I've corresponded with. Rick Garrett. What's up, brother? Thank you for listening. Matt Simpson. Jonathan in Australia. Super, super great guy. A lot of really good things happening in his life.

Yeah. Powerful stuff, man.

Powerful. And we're gonna.

We're actually. We're gonna do an episode right on John.

We're gonna talk to him. But anyway, I wanted to give a shout out to him. He's got a little, you know, thoughts and prayers with you, brother. Miguel Martinez, I'll never forget you, dude. You're the first person that donated $10 three weeks ago. No, I'm sorry. Three months ago.

Yeah.

And we didn't even have a support group. And, dude, you're going in the hat, like four or five times. Yeah.

And I actually had a meeting I might with Miguel, bro.

Yeah, he said you. He said he's talked to you.

Yeah, yeah, he scheduled a meeting with me and it was incredible. So, Miguel, if you're hearing this, man, message me back or message me, and I want to hear an update on your life. He's another Jiu Jitsu brother, which is pretty cool.

Awesome. And, man, I'm sorry, I never even got your name. I just know. I just know you as Curfew. Curfew. What better name than that in the uk, man? It's super, super cool, dude. We. We DM back and forth and thanks for listening, brother. I'm sorry I don't know your freaking name, but we just started getting into it. And anyway, yeah, so those are. Those are the people I've talked to recently, and I just want to give. Shout it. Give a quick shout out to you guys.

Thank you, guys. Thank you for the constant support, man. Hopefully. Obviously, the. The podcast is doing something in your lives, which is so humbling and exciting at the same time. So let's jump into the topic. You down, Scott?

Let's do it.

All right, so the biggest fear that we have, one of the biggest fears that we face, right, is that we're afraid to get hurt again. And pain. Pain trains us, which Is, which is wild. And I know you've experienced this, I've experienced this. Anyone who's listening to this, experienced it, is experiencing it, and will experience it again in our lives. But pain trains us. And it can either train us to slow down and to stop and to not be so risky, or it can train us by teaching us that we're actually stronger than we thought we were and that we can continue to take risks because we know it might have hurt me, but it didn't take me out and I gained so much from it. Right. And so one of the most painful things is when somebody gets blindsided, man. Like, I get so many messages, so many messages when it comes down to divorce. And even like, you know, your situation is not something that you plan for. It just hits you out of nowhere. And when we get blindsided by life or by someone, it creates this unease within us, this like anxiousness because now all of a sudden we recognize that, wow, I'm not in control of my life. I can't control every single thing that happens in my life. Right. And a lot of, a lot of these blindsides, blindsided divorces, I truly do believe end up happening because of midlife crisis.

Yeah, midlife crisis is. And it's funny because you're 29 years old and I am smack in the.

Frickin middle of like the exact number.

Like they say the average age of midlife crisis is the, the range is 35 to 55. So I literally hit it right, right in the middle, man. I haven't had one, I don't think. But I, I can tell you the things that I'm doing right now to avoid having one. Because I know one day I'm gonna wake up, you know, I'm gonna be honest, I. I'm gonna wake up one day and I'm gonna look in the mirror, I'm gonna be like, oh man, I'm getting crow's feet or something. Or my hair. I mean, my beard's already gray, fortunately.

Which I can't wait.

Fortunately, I have hair on top to get gray. So I'll take that. They got that just for men's stuff. So. Yeah, the hymns anyway. But you know, it's, it's just stereotyped. It's like, yeah, especially men, you know, it's like the one thing you do is you go out, you buy a sports car, or you go and try dating someone half your age, you start dressing like me with a gold button up. Well, I don't know about that. I think that's how 50 year olds.

Dress that are going through a midlife crisis. My point exactly.

But, but anyway, they start dressing, dressing differently and you know, maybe if, if they have hair they'll go bleach it.

Get a piercing, get a tattoo, whatever.

Throw a tattoo, you know. You know, that's why sadly I've, I've never been into Corvettes because they've always, they're just like the icon of midlife crisis.

Car, bro. That's so true.

You know me, I'm a car guys and I've never had a Corvette because of that.

What about the new one though?

It's pretty dope, man.

So sexy.

I'm glad I don't own one because I wouldn't be able to afford the gas.

That's right.

True.

That is so true.

But not to get off topic too much, but yeah, so there's a lot of different stages and causes for people to enter into a midlife crisis. And I said a minute ago, I'm doing things right now to prevent having a midlife crisis and just to share with you and everyone listening what those things are. I'm journaling. It's really more so than I have in the past. I have a, I know this is going to sound weird, but I have a seven year plan and I have a three year plan and I have a one year plan.

It's really good.

Why they're not like 1 and 5 and 10 like most is irrelevant but, but I do, I like, I have a vision of where I want to be in one year. I have a vision of where I want my son to be in each of those phases as well. And as, you know, just as a family where I want and envision myself being. And you know, when I get to maybe that three year, then my seven year might change. But right now I'm building to, to, to achieve my one year and it keeps me focused. And I think when you're making progress and you're, when you're making forward progress, you're not on a treadmill, feeling like you're going nowhere. Yes. That prevents you from going into a midlife crisis. That prevents you from going back and making mistakes you've made before. That prevents you from, you know, regret and saying, man, I should have done this because you're doing something rather that like yeah, you know, maybe you wish you would have done it five years ago, but you're doing it now.

Yeah.

You know, so those are the reasons, you know, and I'm also, I guess the word awareness comes up a lot around here. Right.

But what's key for anybody to have a great life?

It's just, you know, the awareness of what causes one to become depressed. At my age or in the age range of, let's just say 35 to 55. You know, there's. And younger, I mean, but the, the awareness of what would. What could cause me to go into depression would be not having forward progress, not achieving things.

Yeah.

And, you know, just. Just like finally getting this freaking app done.

Yeah.

Is for me. It was. Yeah.

That's incredible.

I worked on it for months, so. And. And learned a lot along the way, which will be good for future apps that. That are built. So anyway, those are the things that I'm doing. And I think journaling is probably the most therapeutic. And I guess just. Just not to sound like a broken record, but making forward progress is just something that really, like in any aspect, whether it's anything working out and not, you know, going from my waist size, going from a 32 to a 34, 36 or something like that, you know, like maintaining just stuff like that makes me feel better about myself.

Well, I mean, that's the, that's the root of it. The root of fulfillment is progress is really what it is. That's why anybody who's listening right now, if you're at a job and you feel like you've capped out, you're probably extremely bored and hate that job now.

And you need to tap out.

Yeah. And go somewhere else where there's room for you to grow. If you're in a relationship and it gets stagnant, you stop being fulfilled. Right. Or maybe, maybe no, don't bounce.

But. Yeah. I just stepped on my dick. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take that back and say I. I would look into it a little further and see what the root causes are of. And, you know, is it something that you could both work on and make better and, and make the relationship work? Yeah. But if it's a cycle of the same thing happening, like dishonesty over and over, oh, I'll change, I'll change. Or maybe alcohol or substance abuse is involved, things of that nature, you know, that's. Those are reasons to bounce or abuse. You know, saying that, you know, oh, it'll never happen again. Those are the things that, you know, there. There's a short list of things that if they're happening and it's cyclical, you should bounce. But if they're not bad. Yeah. You know, vicious cycles of bad. Then you should.

Yeah. You know, well, even Even when affairs have happened, relationships and marriages have still worked out because there was progress to rebuild trust, there was action taken. Right. So it's all about pro. Everything that we go through is about progress if you want to experience fulfillment. And so I love that we jumped into that relationship segment because that's. That's really what I really want to touch on is that fear of, like, I don't want to go back into a relationship just to go through the same thing. Because you see it everywhere on Facebook, especially in single dads groups. Like, yeah, just don't get married. Yeah, just don't get married. Yeah, man. Just, you know, use them for what you need and then do your own thing. And it's like, that's not gonna make you. It's not gonna make you happy. It's gonna leave you protected, but you're never gonna get to experience, like, the full fulfillment of what love has always been meant to be. Right. But that fear is authentic, and it's real, and it's with good reason. And so we can't just go into our next relationship like we went into the first one, because then we're just setting ourselves up for failure. It's like if in boxing or, you.

Know, it's just literally, you gotta learn from. From the mistakes that were made and identify what made things happen.

Yes.

That happened. That you don't want to happen again.

Yeah. Or what can I do? What can I implement to make these changes? You know, draw in different people. Right. You hear it all the time that people are talking about. Attract the love of your life, like the law of attraction and all this stuff. Well, here's the thing. The number one thing that I believe personally causes these things. I already said it was the midlife crisis. And the number one thing that I believe causes a midlife crisis is lack of fulfillment. If you are not feeling fulfilled, you will do something extracurricular to try and find that excitement, that fulfillment. But if you create your own fulfillment, if you create excitement in your life, there's no reason for you to have to go look for it elsewhere. But I heard this quote said, and it stuck with me, man, it was powerful. It says everybody ends up somewhere. Very few people end up there on purpose. And does that not sound like a midlife crisis? Somebody reaches the ages of 40 or whatever, 35 to 55, and the question that they ask themselves in their head is, how did I get here? I feel like I lost myself. This is not what I envisioned my life being. Well, the problem is you didn't Have a vision to envision. And whenever you create a practical vision. Right. I know a lot of men are like, oh, yeah, yeah, I have a vision, but it's just in my mind. No, write it down. Make it tangible. Once it's on paper, it's solidified. You mean? And that vision, guess what you get to do now? You get to filter any potential relationship through that vision. You get to filter any potential job or opportunity through that vision. If it doesn't align with the vision of where I want to be, I don't do it.

Exactly. And when I say, like, journaling is one of the more therapeutic things, it's because I have that one year, three year, seven year.

Yeah.

I had by journaling. I write down the things that I have achieved short term, the things that I haven't, but need and want to achieve short term. And those, you know, by writing them down, exactly what you said solidifies my vision and what things that I need. I have to look at this every day and say, okay, what do I need to do?

Yes.

To get this accomplished? And I may write 20 things down that I have to do to get to that, you know, whatever that thing is.

But you wouldn't know that unless you wrote it down.

Exactly. And I have to have something.

Yes.

As you said, it's like solidified, whiteboarded, whatever. And, you know, it's like, when you write it down, it helps the vision become clearer. It paints that picture in your mind as to, like. Like I have a vision, like in a year. Like I have. I have, like, pictures in my head as to what things are going to look like. And now I have a picture, like where I'm going to live in seven years and what that looks like and who's going to be around me.

Yeah.

And what I'm going to be doing for a living. And, you know, things like that.

You're designing your life by choice, not by chance. That's what's happening. That's the root of it all. And your vision doesn't have to be crazy complicated. Look, I have my family vision right here. We are a family that puts God first, serves the church, and create a safe space for each other. That's the vision for my family. So guess what if I'm dating, if I'm in the dating scene. Right. And this is how you're gonna avoid people that have midlife crisises potentially, and avoid one yourself.

Midlife crisises.

Yeah, crisises.

And so thank God for Grammarly.

For real. It's a lifesaver on my Laptop. But that vision right there, if I am on a date and I start, you know, asking questions, getting to know this person in a nice and playful, fun way. And for some reason they do not serve God. They do not believe in serving the church, which really just means serving people. Because the church is as I believe is everyone. Right. And they do not believe in creating a open, honest and transparent safe space for the family. Then I don't need to mess with you anymore. And that's okay because you don't align with where I want to be. And so it's almost a filter. It is a filter of you get all the things that you don't want in your life out because these things don't align with where I want to be. And then you funnel the people that do belong in your life in because then you start recognizing this person has a similar vision of mine. We're aligned.

That's exactly what I wanted to add in your. And you just said people. It's like. And that's one of the things that's missing from, from my life right now is I don't have enough people in my life like, that I hang out with on a consistent basis. I don't. I have like two, including you three friends that I hang out with or see on a regular basis and.

All.

Of whom are, you know, have, are successful in their own right.

We're all aligned to you in some way.

In some way. Right. But I think it's. I maybe without knowing, or maybe just it happened, I just filtered some of the negative individuals out. But I honestly wish I had five, six, seven people that I could see on a regular basis. Like Brandon, if you're listening, but I know you're not because you're not a single dad, tend to be my friend. But I invite everyone. I invite people over all the time, just. And I'm a great host.

You are, you are. You are a great host.

And you got a great whiskey collection. Have a, have a couple drinks, let's shoot some pool, play some ping pong, go swimming. I gotta eat anyway.

Pet his dog Fred.

Yeah, say what's up to Fred. He loves people. But anyway, if anyone wants to be my friend and lives in Dallas, let me know.

Anybody wants to hang out. But bro, it's so true though. Like, this is how you're going to be able to overcome that fear. The reason why we are so scared to go into some situations is because we feel like we have a lack of control. And the reason why we feel like we have a lack of control in the dating scene or the commitment side of things is because we couldn't control that that person left and blindsided us. So now our brain is telling us this is going to happen again. This is going to happen again. Unless you set up a strategy to not guarantee your results, but to put you in more of a control, like quality control. Like, hey, I'm not. If I don't have a target to aim at, I'm shooting aimlessly so I could hit anything.

Like, that's a great analogy.

Like, bro, some of my clients, I was like, what do you look for in a partner? And they were like, I don't know, really literally well. And then they say this. But then they say this. Right? Because all of us keep. And it's just humans in general. Like, we keep things very surface level for most parts. But they'll say, well, I want someone who's caring. And I ask them, what does that look like to you? Get detailed. I want someone that's selfless. What does that look like to you? I want someone who listens to me. What does that look like to you? And then. And then guess what? Once you create that and you have a vision of your future spouse, when you're on a date, you can spot what you don't want a mile away and what's not going to align with you. And then guess what? If you choose to continue seeing them and then they leave you, you can't blame anyone but yourself because you did not uphold your filter, which is your vision of where I want to be.

Exactly. And selfless to me looks different than selfless for you and for everyone. For anyone. So.

And it's not bad or good. It's different.

No, but if, you know, I. I need some. Like, I don't want to be with somebody that's not empathetic. You're not an empath. I'm not interested.

Yeah. It's just me. So when you go on a.

So I'll tell you what an empath looks like to me. Yeah, It. It's someone that listens well, it's someone that I can tell when I talk. They're actually putting themselves in my shoes. They're present and they're responding in a way that I can tell that they did that.

Yeah.

That's what an empath looks like to me.

I love that.

And ultimately, it's just someone that listens well.

Yeah.

Really. And. And responds in a way that allows me to know that they listen.

Yeah. Well. And the reason why you can recognize an empath so well is because you are one too. Like, it's hard to spot something that you've never yourself experienced.

100.

How can I tell you, hey, this is a great car if I've never Dr. In it myself. You know what I mean? And so whenever you're creating your vision, you need to be very, very honest with yourself and say, is this an unreasonable expectation? And this is how you know if it is, if you're not willing to do it for yourself.

And. And, you know, it brings up something that I think about often is it's like they're. They're like certain. There's. I've experienced a lot in my life and I've done a lot of things that maybe I shouldn't have. I'll just leave it at that. So. But I've experienced so much.

Yeah.

That it allows me to identify, you know, maybe some of those things that I shouldn't have done, but it allows me to identify those maybe not so good things on other people.

Yeah.

So that's me finding a positive in all my negatives, bro.

And that's what it's all. That's what it's all about.

But, you know, experience breeds wizard wisdom.

Yeah. I said this the other day, and I truly do believe it's incredible. Not because I said it, but because it smacked me in the face like when I was like, in my time of prayer. And it's that wisdom comes at two different costs. There's two different prices for wisdom. One, a lot of pain, a lot of experience. Two, investment. Why. Why would I want to learn everything on my own when I could talk to you, who's already lived half of that stuff and more, and I could learn from that when I could, which is an investment. It's my time. Right. Or I could purchase a book from someone who's been incredibly successful in a specific area. I just learned from decades of their mistakes, and I gained all of their wisdom in one purchase and investing my time. So it's like, do you want to go through the pain again with this situation? Specifically, do you want to learn from experience all over again and get blindsided again? Or do you want to say I went through it? Or maybe you haven't even gone through that and you're listening. Right. Maybe it was just like a baby mama deal that you weren't married and you're saying, wow, these dudes are actually saying that something that I could potentially use. So are you going to take that, implement it? That's wisdom. But if you listen to it, don't implement it. Then you can't get mad at anybody else besides yourself and be like, dang it, I should have done that.

When I have a stranger reach out to me from the other side of the country and ask, can you be my mentor? I just need someone around that's been around the block that I can look to for advice. I know it's kind of strange for me asking, guess what? You know, I put him through a couple of Scott Fisher tests and he passed. But we talk every single week. I've helped him out tremendously. And, you know, things. In fact, he called me last night with some phenomenal news. That's amazing, because I. I really needed good news last night and with the.

Gas prices and you and your Tesla.

But, yeah, but my boy Michael up in Argyle in New York. But, yeah, he called me last night and he was like, dude, guess what happened? And I'm not going to go into details, but it was just awesome. You know, it's like better outcome than, yeah, he expected. I expected. Anybody expected. That's freaking awesome. You know, it's like. But anyway, my point is, is, like, literally, he calls me for advice about just sometimes, like, what are small things to me, but it's, like, massive to him. But, like, he hasn't. I have to remember he hasn't done these things before.

Yeah.

So what is like two plus two equals four for me. It's like, massive help for him. And he gets to skip all of the. Yes, like, mistakes that one would probably make in his situation just because he has a mentor.

Yeah. So you take him from A to B faster.

You know, that's one of the things I wish I did. I wish most of my experience wasn't from mistakes.

Yeah.

But it is.

Yeah.

And it makes me, you know, a better mentor. Makes me, you know, have more wisdom and wiser than many. But I had to go through a lot of. To get.

Yeah.

That experience. I wished I could have gotten it by listening to more mentors.

Well. And you can. And that's for the future events.

Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's why I said, I wish I had more people in my life. And I shouldn't say I wish. I should just go find more people to put.

That's my freaking boy. Look at what he just did there. He went from I want this to I'm doing this.

Oh, exactly.

Changes everything.

That's. I just thought to myself, like, what the hell am I saying? Like, I wish I had five or six people I saw in consistent cases. I'm Going to go find another four people to put in my life that align with my goals, align with my thought, thinking, and let's go. That I can learn from and I can, and they can learn from me.

And guess what? You're gonna feel so fulfilled because you took an extreme action and you're progressing in that area now.

That shit's going in my journal immediately.

That's my boy. No, bro. It's so true, though. Like, I had a. I had a group coaching call two weeks ago, and one of the ladies on that group coaching call, she. She asked me. She was. Because I made it like an open mic type of thing. Ask me anything, I'll work with you through it, type of the deal. And she was like, well, since this is kind of open, I want to ask you. She was like, how the hell are you so wise for your age?

Which we'll be doing. We. On the weekly support group in the app.

Yes, yes. So. So get in there. For real. But. And I was very humbled. Like, literally, she brought me to tears with everything she said to me. And I started explaining to her because she was like, what do you do? Like, how, How. How did you get there? And I was like, if I'm being honest, first experience stuff that I've walked through. Second, I let go of my pride and my ego, and I said, maybe this dude knows way more than me than I do about this area. So I started reading books. Literally, I'm like, so what somebody experienced in decades, I got to learn in a week of reading that book. And then I read it again, and then I read it again, and then I implement it and I see, oh, my gosh, this actually works.

The key thing, you can read all the books in the world.

Yeah.

But until you apply what you've learned to real life situations, then all that, all that is is just useless knowledge.

Knowledge. The term knowledge is power is so stupid. Because knowledge is not power. If you're hoarding it. Like, it becomes stale if you're not moving it right. It's like if you have a bunch of money, but you never move it.

Knowledge, slash, execution of that knowledge.

That is power. That is power. Literally.

So let's change that. Stupid. I'm just kidding.

So I know we got a little bit off topic, but that was phenomenal. I. I really hope that you got something out of that. But wrapping back around to the. To the thing that we were working on. If you're scared of going back out there, getting out into the scene, it's simply because you're not prepared. And I promise you, I promise, if you start creating a vision that aligns with your core values and your beliefs, you will now have some sort of illusion of control in that scene. And you can walk into it confidently and you can begin to say that one's not going to work. Not because she's not hot enough. Not because any of this. No. But because I said that I want to be with someone who always is serving people. And I saw them making fun of the server, and instead of, like, encouraging, started to belittle them with these little snide remarks. And that is not what I'm about. That just revealed a little crack in the armor of something that is genuinely beyond important to me. And I don't want that. And that's okay.

Yeah. You know, I'm going to mention a name, but someone that I'm. I've known for a long time, or we're not super close right now, but anyway, I talked to him the other day. He was telling me, like, you know what you've been up to. It's been a while since we connected. He's like, man, just working, working, working. This happened. This has happened in my life. He goes. He's like, but, dude, like, people ask me to go do stuff all the time, and I always say, no, not, no, no. And I make up stories as to why. He goes. I'm like, screw this. I'm gonna start saying yes to everything I'm invited to. He goes, I've said yes to every single thing for the last week. I've been out every single night, every single day that I haven't worked, and I've had a freaking blast.

That's awesome. And it's like the movie yes, man. Literally. But it's just like, is this friend Jim Carrey? Is this friend Jim Carrey?

I wish he was my boy. But no, it just. It was inspiring. And I was like, man, if I got invited to stuff every day, I'd go, too. But I'm glad to hear that you've turned, like, from isolating yourself to, you know, like, saying yes.

Yeah.

One of the things he did was he went to. And I want to be PC when I say this, but he called him midget wrestling. Is that little people wrestling? I don't know. I don't know. Should we edit that out? But. But. But it's a thing. And, yeah, that's what they call it. And I was like. I wasn't. I didn't even know it was a thing. And he was, like, telling me about it.

That's cool.

Crazy.

Like, that's pretty cool.

I won't go into detail, but he's like, yeah, they travel the freaking country and that's what it's called.

Dang.

That's amazing. He's like. I was like, I didn't know that existed. He was like. Because it was. It was so fun and, like, you could tell there's, like, people that were there that are like, go to it regularly or every time it comes to town, like the circus. Anyway, I'll shut up.

That's amazing, though. What a good story, bro. But that honestly just tells you, like, why don't you try anything once? Not anything, okay? Put a filter on that.

Anything.

But why don't you try things once, and if you like it, try it again? And if you. It's kind of like that in the dating scene, like, let's go on a date.

Is. Is that. I. I can't stand when people say no to things they haven't done or tried. How do you know you're not gonna like it?

Yeah.

So for. I don't care who you are, what you do, if you are. If you have the opportunity to do something or go somewhere that you haven't been or haven't done, try it. I hope you take my advice on this. Do it. Even if it sounds like the worst time in the world. The worst thing that can come to it, come from it, is you have a shitty time or a new experience, but it's a new experience. And now you know you don't ever want to go snorkeling in a cave again or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. So somebody tells you, hey, let's go do this again. No, I'm good. Yeah, you just filter it out. Same thing on dates. Oh, I know what I like. I know what I don't like. I know what I want in the future. I'm sorry you don't align with that. Doesn't mean we can't hang out and have some fun. But I'm not going to commit to this person. And that's completely up to you. Design the life that you want to have. You're in control of that. Or you should be in control of that.

You are in control, and we're going to wrap things up. You're in control of downloading the single dazzling app. Yes, Android lovers, TSD podcast is where you find it. Apple iPhone people, which is most of you. It's the single dads podcast. Download it, create your account, play around in it, and get ready to have some fun. Man. We created it for a reason.

Let's go, man. Thanks for hanging out.

Hope you have a good day. Thanks for hanging out.