Parenting tips for 2021

Foreign.

Episode 2, Single Dads Podcast. You ready, bro?

I'm ready, yeah. Episode two.

And we're gonna be talking what about like, single parenting and like modern day. Right. Just, like, how different it is from even just parenting in general.

Like, years ago. I mean, obviously we're talking about single parenting, but in 2021. And yeah, the differences today, as opposed to 10, 15, 20 years ago. And all the. Whether it's technology or culture. Culture. I mean, obviously there's just the amount of change and innovation and a lot of it's actually coming from our kids. And in many cases, they're smarter than their parents in some areas. But, I mean, some kids can set up a podcast for their parents. Yeah, this is true.

And we would have no idea. Yeah, I think it's. It's. It's interesting because you always have the conversation. And I know Gary Vee even got interviewed. Like, he was on the news. I don't know if you saw this or not, but the. The news anchor was like, trying to tell him that technology is ruining everyone and ruining our kids and things of that nature. But then Gary Vee said, he was like, it's not ruining us, it's just bringing out who we really are. Because at the end of the day, you would either binge watch tv, you would run to something else. He was like, now you're just doing it on your phone. So it's not that it's changed anything, it's just revealing what's really going on on the inside of you. You know what I mean?

Yeah, absolutely. And in a much more convenient way. Yeah. I mean, I was thinking about this earlier, actually, and it's like, my son gets home from school, you know, maybe has a snack or whatever. We always chop it up if I'm home. And yeah, he'll come in my office. Well, you know, I. How's your day? And then he's off to his room, and I don't see him again until dinner. And then after dinner, he's off to his room. And the funny thing is, is, like when I. When I was his age and younger, that what he's doing. Yeah, that's what happened to me when I got punished or grounded. Yeah, yeah, it was.

Go to your room was a bad thing. Now go to your room as a reward.

Exactly. Now. Now this is where we talk about the big difference.

Yeah.

He can go in his room, shut the door, and talk to friends that he's met online through gaming or whatever, all over the world.

Yeah.

And he actually has made friends in England. The uk. And that's so sick. All over the country.

Yeah.

Which, so, yeah, I mean, he's going in, he, he's going into his little room, but, and to him, it's like a whole new world.

Yeah.

And he's like, I don't want anything to do with you guys.

Yeah.

So.

So, okay, so. So, for example, then, like, if you wanted to quote, unquote, punish it. Punish sounds like such a terrible word. It sounds like torturing our kids. But if you wanted to, like, ground him, I guess what's the alternative? Now, specifically, with you and, and, and with Riley? Because you can't send him to his room.

No, you just send him to the room and you take that away. And you take that away. Yeah, that's true. And then he's forced to watch regular old tv.

That's so.

Which is literally punishment, sadly. I mean, I, I, I don't think he watches regular TV. What are you doing? Watching YouTube.

Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's all, it's all YouTube right now. I don't think, I don't think TV is gonna make a huge comeback. I think it's all gonna be. Especially now, there's like, YouTube TV. I mean, kids these days, they have everything at, like, the tip of their fingertips, literally, which is, which is so trippy to like, navigate. Like, this girl that I'm seeing, she was telling me how, you know, my little girl, the goose, she's, she's always either on her iPad or Nintendo Switch or something, you know what I'm saying? And until my little girl, I feel like that's almost her escape. And I'm trying so hard to like, hey, let's color together. Hey, let's paint together. Hey, like, let's read a book together, you know? And it's almost like I have to force her to do those things. And, But I was telling her, I was like, it's hard as a single parent, because when she comes home, you're navigating everything from like, well, this is what she wants to do. So you kind of want to give them that because you have like, like, for me specifically, I have, like, a little bit of time with her. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

But then you also still want to be the parent, like a parent, not just a friend, and kind of like, be like, well, hey, we actually have to do this and this also. And we actually still have to do chores and things like that. But I'm like, it's just so hard.

Like, I know. And it's funny it's like they don't ever get bored, though. It's like. Yeah, you know, they're actually, once upon a time, used to be an issue with, like, you know, keeping your kids quiet. You know, they put the TVs in the headrest of cars, so if you're going anywhere to, you know, with your.

Kids, you just slap that on there.

Slap those headphones on them, turn on cartoons and. Yeah, problem solved. Right. On road trips, whatever. So, yeah, then that has now, you know, kind of. That was an evolution from TVs in the headrest to. I'm sure they still exist, but you don't see them as often because now they're just heads down into their phones. So still with headphones. But either way, it's like they don't get bored, so you can take them anywhere and they'll be quiet and not nag you. Now, if my mom would have, like, been a whole different person if she had that with, with, with me when I was young. So, yeah, it's crazy.

Yeah. Navigating all of this, like, new technology and culture, it's. It's. It really is. It makes it kind of. Kind of tough because especially where we're at right now with cancel culture, like, you can't offend anyone kind of thing. And so, like, trying to keep your values while not being offensive is. Is hard. And I feel like one of the things that I keep reminding myself of is that at the end of the day, I have to try my best to be, like, as sensitive to everyone as possible, you know, but at the same time, it is their choice to be offended and, and stay offended. Right. Like, offense is an event. Being offended is a choice kind of thing.

100. And at the end of the day, it's like, I know it's so cliche to say, but, you know, if you don't like what somebody's saying, you don't like, you know, turn the freaking channel. You know, if you don't like that Gary Vee curses every other word.

Don't watch him.

Don't watch him. Yeah, you know. You know, if you've got an opinion, you know, that's your. Right.

Yeah.

Maybe express it where somebody wants to hear it.

Yeah.

And we'll listen.

Yeah, exactly.

Want to, but. But don't complain about, you know, so and so's opinion. It's like, that's why I don't. I don't like to get into religion or politics in conversation, in a social atmosphere, because all it is, is opinions. Yeah, right.

Yeah.

No, there Aren't any facts. I mean, there are some facts, but most of it is just opinions, and it's never ending. And that's a good way to get me to exit stage left.

No drama here. No drama here. Yeah. But one thing that I do love about technology, and we were kind of talking about this earlier, is the fact that it helps you create lasting memories easier than before.

Right.

Like, I mean, because for me, you know, having battled with addiction, and I would say continuing to battle with addiction, it's like my mind gets really cloudy to where I don't remember things unless somebody talks about it. And then it, like, oh, yeah, I remember now, but you have, like, Facebook memories. You got all these things that, like, if you've captured it with your technology, it brings it back up. Um, and I kind of want you to share a little bit about a hilarious video that actually went on TV of you and Riley. Could you describe it for the people that aren't going to watch it, like, because they're listening to the audio only. And by the way, if you want. If you want to see it, we're going to have it on the YouTube.

Yeah, we're going to play for you guys. But I got to kind of build up to the story because it's actually really cool.

It's hilarious.

My Facebook forever, but it's only gotten, like, 15 views. And that's because I don't post anything.

On Facebook, but it went on national tv, so that doesn't matter.

So basically, my son's like, you know, almost six years old, five and a half somewhere in there. And I. I had had a Spaniard, a nanny that was helping me. She was from Spain, and it was dinner time, and I was like, where's Riley? And she's like, pointing evil look on her face. And I'm like, what's he doing? She's like, he's reading the Secrets of Victoria.

Which. That sounds more like a Russian accent, by the way, not Spaniard.

All right, so my imitation sucks. But nevertheless. So I go upstairs, and there he is. He's got his back turned to me, and, you know, he's sitting on the floor and he's, like, scrolling, just turning the pages on the magazine. And I come up behind him. I'm like, hey, buddy. He's like, my dinner's ready whenever you're done. And I just walked downstairs, right? So he comes downstairs, he's a little embarrassed. Didn't say much more about it, Right. That was the day I'm like, okay, well, guess he likes girls.

Yeah.

Right.

So it begins.

So it begins. So he's gonna be a heartbreaker. But so, literally, like, no less than. No more than two weeks later, I'm laying in my bed in my bedroom, right? And I'm on my phone. He literally walks in with what appears to be a Victoria's Secret magazine under his arm, just like an old man would be carrying a newspaper under his arm. And I don't acknowledge him. I continue to play with my phone and do whatever I'm doing. And he literally just, like, tiptoeing, thinking he's slick. And then he, like, backs up. Well, now he's facing me, walking backwards. And then he goes into the little toilet room. You know, just the commode is.

And this. And then this whole time, he's. He's walking in front of you thinking that you have no idea that he's right in front of you.

Of all the bathrooms in the house, why. Why would he. Why would he choose to walk past me into my bathroom in which he never went before? I'll never know. But the cool thing about it is, and this is something that could have never happened, you know, when I was at his age.

Yeah.

Because, you know, we don't have camcorders set up, ready on their tripods waiting for stuff like that to happen. So I. Once he shut the door, I was like, oh, please don't lock it. Please don't lock it. So from that point, the video we're going to show you is me starting to record. And can we play it?

Yeah.

Okay. Okay. I'm about to catch Riley reading a Victoria's Secret magazine in the bathroom. What are you doing? What are you doing? Nothing. Huh? I put it. I dipped it in the toilet. Dipped what in the toilet? That. Why? Because I want to. Why'd you want to dip in the toilet? I thought you were reading it. I was dipping in the toilet for a long time. Okay. The funniest freaking thing I've ever seen.

Dude, to this day, I've seen that video, like, three times. My favorite part is when you ask him, like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm dipping the magazine in.

The toilet or whatever. Toilet for a long time.

And I'm like, the magazine's not even wet.

No, he keeps. He's pushing it away. Just too funny. And it's like, what? The. The imagination of kids. Like, what. Where did they come up with. I'm dipping it in the toilet for a long time, but too funny. And so I. You know, a few. Like, literally three or Four years went by, and I'd show it to him and would laugh about it, and I wanted to make sure. I thought it was so funny. Like, I don't care whose kid it was. If I saw that, I would want. This is something I'd see on America's Funniest Home Videos and crack up. So I actually. I asked him. I was like, hey, you want to send it in? He's like, yeah. He's like, sure. So I got on and I filled out all the paperwork and did everything. They responded to me. So I knew they had received it. And then radio silent, never heard from them. And I was like, yeah, I guess I'm the only one that thinks it's that funny. But literally, years go by. I think four years later, literally, I get a. I don't know if you guys remember America's Funniest Home Videos. Bob Saget was the host. And then I don't know the guy's name. Somebody else was. And then I think Alfonso Ribeiro, I think. At any rate, I get a call, and it's a producer, and he's like, hey, we sent. We sent a. You sent a video in about your kid reading a Victoria or getting caught reading Victoria's Secrets magazine. And I was like, yeah. He's like, so we're bringing back America's. America's Funniest Videos After Dark, and Bob Saget's going to be the host. And we are thinking about putting your son's video on the premiere episode.

That's incredible.

And I'm like, is this a joke?

That is so sick.

And. And I was like, okay. He's like, the reason it never got played before was because of the content. And it's more of a family show that came on at, like, 6pm Central Time. So I'm like, okay, well, that makes sense, because it was freaking funny.

Yeah.

And so, you know, they didn't pay me any. I think I got, like, a couple hundred bucks or something. But it was. It was literally on national television. It was like the premiere episode. It was. I can't remember. It was right after some big sporting event. I have that recorded, too, of course, but crazy, man. It just, like. I think it was like seven, seven or eight years later after the fact, it finally got played, so. And it's on my Facebook page if you want to watch it again. But it's freaking hilarious. And, yeah. What we were talking about, it's like moments like that.

Yes.

Like, gosh, I mean, those are the types of things you could tell the Story over and over and over again, but it might even change over the years. But the fact that we're able to just get in our pockets and grab situations like that, it's awesome. It. And that's why I have no videography of me as a kid.

Yeah, same.

So that's just one thing that's really cool about being a parent now and having the technology and being able to utilize for a good thing, because we talk about all the bad things and about social media and things like that, but we're able to capture a lot of really good memories.

Yes.

And another thing, I was. I was talking to Riley and I was, like, showing him photos of when we went to. On vacation, when we went to Florida, we went to the Bahamas. We were able to do that with his mom right before. Before she passed and. Which was awesome and amazing, but he literally wouldn't have those memories if we didn't have the video and the photos to remind him and show him. So that's what's so important and cool about, you know, being able to do that with such, you know, little mobile devices.

Tiny device. Yeah. And it's cool because there is moments, obviously, where I love to, like, be in the moment, be fully present. Right. And just like, literally just spending time with my little girl and not filming it. But then there's some moments where I'm just like, I've got to capture this. You know what I mean? Because I want to be able to, like, later on watch it with her and just be like, baby, look, you remember this. And she probably will not, but it's right there. And she's gonna see, like, you know, us interacting and laughing and just creating memories like that. So we could let technology, quote unquote, ruin our kids and all of this stuff and. And see it as a challenge. But we could also see it as like a pro, a massive pro.

Absolutely. And there's. We. We understand that there's so many different types of single fathers out there.

Yeah.

And there's, you know, situations and scenarios where, you know, the mom lives in one state and the dad lives in the other. And depending on how old the kids are, whether it's their, you know, they're walking for the first time or their first little League game, or they score their first soccer goal, whatever the case may be, that can be captured not only on video and recorded, but even in real time, if you want.

Yes.

You know, if you. If you guys co parent well and you want to share that. That experience real time, I mean, that's Another really good situation, you know, for a lot of people that are in that.

Yeah.

You know, specific scenario.

Yeah. Because it's like, yeah, sure, you don't get to see your kid every single day, but now you have the availability to see them every single day with FaceTime.

I mean, it's not the same, but it's a heck of a lot better than nothing. A phone call. And kids don't even know how to talk on the phone. You know, they don't know how to communicate any. But they can text you, but without seeing you, when they see you, everything's different. Just talking, it's like, yeah, well, the radio's on. I don't know what they say. But nevertheless, it's just awesome being able to utilize technology. And I guess our point is that, you know, as a single parent, we can make that technology that we have today work for us in a positive way.

Yeah.

And create memories and even catch certain memories that would have otherwise been forgotten.

And people probably wouldn't believe it. It's like, there's no way that happened. Well, it's right there when you tell that story.

It's like. But when you see it, it's night and day.

Oh, yeah. And and another thing is, like, for example, my little girl, right? She loves playing on her iPad. She loves Roblox. Right now is massive for kids.

Yeah. Just went public.

Yeah. Really? On the stock market.

Yeah.

It's crazy. What's up? But, like, I just remember being like, man, I want to do something with her, like, me and her that she loves. Right. Because I've heard this said time and time again, like, whatever it is that your kid likes, double down on it, you know, like, whether you like it or not, like, double down on it. So, for example, my little girl loved Roadblocks. Now she's on to, like, the Nintendo Switch, which is cool because it has Super Smash Bros. Which is my childhood game. So we just go at it on there. But. But with Roblox, I was like, you know what? She loves Roblox. She loves YouTube. She loves watching kids on YouTube play Roblox. She loves watching kids on YouTube Play Roblox with their parents. So I was like, why don't I just make a YouTube channel with her and, like, make some video? And granted, we've only made, like, three videos, I think, but any time that she asked me for my phone and, like, say, I'm busy doing something or we're going somewhere, or she's actually been like, you know, at the park with me, whatever, and I'm like, you know what, you can have my phone. When she goes to YouTube, first thing she looks up that the plays and she starts watching our videos together.

That's amazing.

I mean, so it's like for her, it's probably going to mean a lot. It probably means a lot right now because kids are such emotional beings. But I think later on she's going to be like, man, my dad didn't have to do that. But he didn't only take the time to like play with me. He took the time then afterwards to like create this thing for us, you know, I'm saying. And it's just a new way to be able to. Not everyone's tech savvy can video edit or anything like that. But I'm just saying, like, think of ways to go above and beyond with what we have now, you know, because, you know, I'm a God fearing man, I love the Lord and I believe that everything that we have right now, God has given us and we can use it as a healthy tool, as a good tool, even just in parenting, you know, I'm saying, so for us just to be like nagging on all these things all the time, it's like, no, let's, let's seize those moments and use them as opportunities. And if your kid is always playing, then how about you like get in there with them, talk some trash, let him snipe you a couple, like whatever.

You use it as a tool to bond rather than complain about it and make it, you know, just the worst thing in the world. Which obviously a lot of people like to do.

Yeah.

For whatever crazy reason. But you know, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Yeah, I actually even got somebody when I posted that video on Facebook. Yeah, some, I, I deleted the comment, but some lady came at me hard and she was like, she was like, I can't believe you would embarrass your son like that.

He doesn't have a Facebook.

I'm just, I mean, she came at me hard and like, like it really pissed me off, to be honest. But yeah, I just deleted the comment and went on with my life. But I'm like, you know, she's obviously an angry lady, but nonetheless, you know, it's just, I think it's fascinating the things that we can do and sure, we could sit here and talk about the negatives, but today we chose to talk about the positives.

Yeah.

And how it can help single parents, single fathers and you know, in co parenting situations. And we understand there's so many different Types of single dads. We're just two examples. And we can't wait to start getting some engagement with you guys.

Yeah.

And. And talk about some other scenarios. And so please, you know, leave in the comments if. If you want to be open about it. Would love that more than anything. And, you know, we'll even have you on the show if you got a cool story and. And it's worth sharing and you want to. So.

Yeah, I love that, because that's what we want to do. We really. We just want to have fun. We want people to get to know us a little bit more, kind of catch our vibe, as everyone is saying.

Right.

Vibe with us. And then honestly, I. I really. I cannot wait to, like, dive into some of, like, the really deep stuff, because, honestly, I do want to have an episode where. And maybe it's the next one, right. Where we dive into, like, parenting in today's culture. Just because the culture right now is so, in my opinion, can be very toxic. And you.

Sensitive every.

Yes. It's like, man, you cannot even just with schooling right now, like, they're trying to, like, change the. The way that they're teaching.

Yeah. The whole.

Yes.

There's just so much going on, and there is limitless topics to cover and that. That affect us as single dads, and we don't see enough or hear enough about single dads out there, and that's why we're doing what we're doing. And we want. We want to bring some. Some laughs to you guys, of course. And. But we also want to cover some serious topics, and more than anything, would love to get you guys engaged and bring your stories up so we can enhance the program and talk about other things that maybe we're not aware of.

Yeah. And what I love is that neither me or you are trying to say that we know everything about parenting.

Oh, God, no.

So if somebody has a similar situation and they're like, hey, guys, this is what I did, and it's really, like, helped in this area. Like, I would be so open to that, like, 100%, because I need. I need to constantly learn and grow to be the best version of myself that I can be. And when you're the best version of yourself, you become the best father, you become the best son, the best friend, everything like that. And so for anyone that's, like, listening, if there's anything that you ever want to add value, like, to the. To, like, the show or to anybody who's. Anybody else that's watching, then shoot. Bring it. I think it'd even be cool if eventually we were able to get like, some therapist, counselor, something that has experience in these areas, and we can really, like, dig into, like, some topics and.

Yeah. Because if they're experts, we will make that happen. Because to be honest, like, just, you know, chopping it up and doing this, we're doing it for a reason, but it's also therapeutic for me.

Yeah, same.

It really is just talking about, you know, things and issues and good, bad and different. But, you know, but the biggest reason is we just don't hear anything about single dad.

Yeah.

And we love you single moms. Don't get me wrong.

Yeah.

But we just, you know, we know that we're kind of the minority.

Yeah.

We want to change that, bro.

It might be cool when we do the, like, a single dad's dating episode if we bring in Maddie. You remember Maddie. Yeah, he's got the Dallas dating diaries.

Yeah.

It might be fun. That might be a fun one to like, have him on and just be able to talk about those things and.

Yeah, well, dating's definitely a topic. Massive topic. We'll probably have a couple of shows on that.

Yeah.

Because dating.

Wrong.

You know, how many kids do you have if you as a single dad, if. If you're a full time single dad and you have, you know, just one kid like myself or more. I mean, it's. You don't have enough time to do anything as it is.

Yeah.

So dating's a. A whole nother ball game. And then you, you know, you hear stories about the Brady Bunches when, you know, when this lady met this fellow and they both have four kids.

Yeah.

And, you know, situations like that. And so I'm really looking forward to hearing from the viewers, listeners, and. And making them a part of the show.

Yeah, me too. Me too, man. Well, thank you guys so much for tuning in. Again, if you enjoyed the episodes, share it. Like it. Comment. Drop a comment. That would really help us out a ton. Send it to any single dad that you know, or even if it's a single mom and you know that they want to hear the perspective of, like, what the. The man is going through. Right. Like, or if you're about to be.

A single dad or, you know, there's. There's so many different scenarios and I know so many different people that have experienced different things, but again, there's limitless things to talk about, so I'll shut up. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. We will see you guys next time. Take care.