Single dads and financial struggles

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What's up, single dads? Hope everyone is doing well.

What's going on, gentlemen?

Frank and Scott back. And we are going to jump right into it today, guys. We got a couple of topic requests which we always fulfill and talk about. So if you haven't ever done that in our app, please, if you have something you want us to talk about on air, just simply make that request and we will do it. Today, we want to talk a little bit about what's going on with our economy. Not so much about what's going on with our economy, but how it's affecting us as single dads financially and what we can do to offset and make things a little bit, hopefully a little bit better around the house. Better with your finances, planning, budgeting, etc. And I just want to start by saying, ironically, one of our requests was about budgeting for kind of a weekly breakfast, lunch, dinner, three meals a day type thing.

Right. Just like really practical. Very practical.

And I know a lot of you guys out there, the easy thing to do is drive through Taco Bell, maybe buy a bag of frozen chicken strips. I remember I fed my kid that crap all the time.

Um, but sometimes it's just easier.

It is easier. But the thing is, is everything's gone up in price.

Yeah.

You go through Chick Fil. I mean, like I used to. I used to be king of Ubereats and whatever, all the other. All the dashes, doordashes and all that crap. But lately, or I shouldn't say recently, I got unhappy with what I was seeing in the mirror. Yeah. You know, and I've always worked out, but, you know, you have to diet, right. And work out. Yeah. And, you know, as you get older, it gets harder. And most of you lucky sons of B. Which don't.

True, man.

You know, it's no secret that, you know, I'm in my mid-40s and I still want to look like I did when I was in my 20s and 30s and so on. And. But not to get off topic back to what I. What I did was decided to start preparing. Planning and preparing my meals are our meals, I should say, for the week our being, me and my son. Yeah. And because it was such a hassle, you know, every night. What do you want? What do you know? What do you want? You know, and it's. We're always busy, but now it's come down to we're busy and things are expensive. Yeah. And to order Chick Fil a from Doordash is like freaking somewhere in the 40 to 50 range.

I mean, it makes sense, though. That's the Lord's chicken.

Bad example then. I mean, but you get what you.

Pay for, and you got anointed chicken.

I think you used to get what you pay for. That is true now. You know, I was talking to a friend earlier, and he was like, yeah, you go through McDonald's and get a salad and it's like eight or nine dollars. I'm not a McDonald's guy, so I didn't know that. But, you know, a salad from McDonald's for nine bucks sounds a little egregious to me.

Yeah.

So, you know, anyway, I. Back to. Back to what my solution was, and hopefully this helps the gentleman that sent in a topic request and anyone else who is having issues with meal planning and things like that and, and budgeting and being able to still, you know, you want to feed your kids healthfully without, you know, just cutting out, you know, just worrying about the budget. Right.

Yeah.

So, no, Taco Bell is not the answer. It may taste good once in a while after you've had a few toddies or something, but outside of that, it's just not good. It's not. It's not. It's not sustainable. It's not a sustainable way of feeding yourself or your kids. And we tend to kind of eat what we feed our kids. And if we don't, then it's even more work and more money, and it.

Just keeps on going.

So that being said, at the beginning of each week for me, Sunday afternoon, evening, I will grill chicken breast. I will buy lettuce, tomatoes, things that go in salads, prepare, like roasted potatoes. All the. There's so many things, and I'm not going to go over a whole list. Um, but if you get online, you can Google things that aren't super like that, that will last for five days, that will last those five days in your refrigerator that you can one take to work. And I know it's summertime, so whatever your situation is, if you leave it with whomever's watching your kid or if you work from home, if you're preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you can put These items, prepare them in advance and you can create a healthful meal plan and prepare it all at the beginning of the week. And that way you don't have to worry. You have everything planned out.

Yeah.

And you're able to say, okay, this is what I can afford. You know, you take your, your budget. This is what I have budgeted for food. And you know what you can buy that fits within that budget, Right.

Yes.

So that's what I did and it has worked out extremely well. I've actually lost £4 in the past. Well, right before I went out of town. I haven't weighed myself since I've been back. But nevertheless, it, it's, it's a solution health wise and for budget conscious people, which is everybody right now.

Yeah.

And so that's my recommendation is for, in, in one way and before we close up today, I have some other advice for some other areas how you can save money and, but yeah, that's, that's what I've started. I started doing I think just two, two and a half weeks ago or some about three weeks now. And it has worked out wonderfully. I've saved money, I'm eating more healthful and as is my son.

So, so in the next two weeks we can expect to see you yolked up on the podcast.

Right? Yolked down, man. I don't care about being all beefy. Just want to be lean and feel good, man. Yeah, but, so there's, you know, in this day and age and everything, you know, this, this economy, the uncertainty we're all living with, you know, it's, it's difficult and there's a lot of, a lot of things that, that's, that people can do to, to like break things down. It's just a matter of, rather than stressing and concerning yourself with it on the daily. It's a matter of execution.

Yeah.

And maybe you just don't know what to do. What's the first step? And, and we'll go over that before we wrap up today. But Frank has, you know, kind of has, has been forced. I'll kind of let you tell your.

Yeah.

Tell what's going on with you. But he's been forced or I guess that in some form or fashion we've all been forced. Right. Everybody because of the economy. But yours, yours is a little different. So I'll let you go. Yeah.

So this, this gentleman is, is, is so key and I'm glad that we're talking about it because it affects, if it affects every single person and especially if you're a single dad, you can get so stressed out with this and it can cause so much anxiety and things. So we got to be able to address some of these things. Because first of all, if you. Yeah, drinking the water, bro.

Bring my own water.

Yeah. But it's like, you know, if, if you want to get remarried, right? Or if you want to be with somebody, which everybody wants to be with somebody. Okay. Now you might have your take on marriage because of government, whatever the grassroots of it is, that people want to be with other people, right?

Yes.

And if you want to be with a woman, okay. Then be somebody that a woman wants to be with.

So valid. Yes.

You see what I'm saying? Like, I think there's, there's so many people out there, both men and women, that believe they deserve the world, but they're, they're not giving the world, they don't bring the world. And they think just because, you know, God created me and I'm living and breathing, I deserve all these things.

But it's a two way street, man.

Exactly. And as a man, like, you want to make her feel safe, man, you got to provide that certainty in their life. Right. And how can you provide certainty in her life if you can't even provide certainty in your own life right now? And it might seem really, really intense, but I think the way that we do that is you were hitting it on it a little bit, is stop focusing so much on the problem, but focus on the solution, executing. Because the problem is always there. But whatever you give your focus to is going to grow inevitably.

Yeah.

So if the problem is there and the solution is there, it's just about which one am I going to choose to consciously focus on the most? And if you focus more on the solution, you'll get a lot more inspired, you'll feel a lot more empowered and you'll feel a lot more in control. And even though the world is uncertain, you create more certainty. Because what Scott's doing is he can't fight the fact that, you know, he's getting, let's just say, wiser, not older, that he's, he's growing in wisdom and that the joints.

I hope we all are.

Right, exactly. And that that stuff isn't working like it used to. Right. So he could focus on that and then that would make him feel kind of hopeless, like, ah, man, why would I even try? So then you just go and you spiral. Or he can say, there's a solution here. The solution is, I get, I can do this and just Focus on the solution, and he'll be in a completely different place in six months. That's just what's gonna happen.

I need to save money. 1.

Yeah.

Because this economy has killed people in so many ways.

Yeah.

You can't drive anywhere without cost, you know, costing a fortune.

Also, Scott, I was spending, like twelve hundred dollars on gas a month, and it was ridiculous and crazy. And my situation that I wanted to chat about, just to kind of show, like, we. We have to learn to be, like, resourceful, because it's not a lack of resources that we have. We have a problem of resourcefulness is really what it is at the end of the day. And sometimes we got to bite the bullet. Sometimes we got to take some hits to make things happen because we have a bigger desire for the outcome. So with my situation, I'm building a house finally. And I was going to get to build it cash. I had a certain budget for it. Trust me, it's not going to be like a crazy mansion, anything like that. But I had money so that I could build this thing cash so I would not be in debt. And then everything started happening with material, supply chain, all of this stuff, man. So now what was going to cost me a certain amount, now you add another 50 GS on top of that, and I'm like, great.

Now all of a sudden, you got to come up with another $50,000 to finish a project already that I had already assessed. That's already in actions, like, you don't stop. You can't just stop.

No, can't. I can't just stop. And so I was presented with a problem, and I could just be like, wow, this sucks, this sucks, this sucks. But I'm choosing to look for solutions. And unfortunately, you listen to the wise.

One, the wise old man, and I'm.

Like, fortunately, one of those solutions is going to be that I am going to sell my truck that I ended up paying off completely. And it's probably, like my favorite truck.

There it is. Yeah. That's a huge milestone when you pay off a vehicle. Way to go, Frank.

And then it sucks because I have to get rid of it now so that I can build a cow.

But you. But you have the ability to get rid of it for money.

Exactly. And. And the reward of it, that's what I really want to hit on, is like, it's gonna suck because this is my dream truck, and I know that I will buy it again eventually. Right. But I have to give that up right now so that I can have this other thing. That I want more, which is my house, a place for me and my little girl. You know what I mean? Something that we can create a home in. And so it's like desire is the number one motivating factor. Scott has a desire to save money and to cut down on some lbs. Right. I have a desire to create a home. Is it going to cost me this? Yes. But everything in life comes with a price. So what are you willing to pay to get what you want? Because we're going to have to pay it. At the end of the day, we.

All have to sacrifice. That's the bottom line. Yeah, you said the key word, Frank, and it's resourcefulness. And I think I mentioned execution. And you mentioned, hey, we have a problem and we have a solution and it's up to us which one. So the solution includes what? Sacrifice. Right. So I, you know, in order to. In order to save money, in order to adapt and acclimate to the world we now live in, we all have to sacrifice. And. Were you done? Did I interrupt you?

No.

Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. We all have to sacrifice. And I'm going to give some quick tips that. I actually took notes today, but some quick tips for you guys that are looking to budget, are willing to make sacrifices, and you just want some solutions as to how or maybe the first steps in doing that real quickly. First and foremost, you calculate your net income. All the, you know, after your expenses, what do you have left to spend, period? That means after you've paid child support, after you've paid your truck payment or whatever payments you have, then list your monthly expenses out. You know, the, the things that you have, like fixed expenses and you have variable expenses. The differences are fixed. You know what your mortgage is, you know, or your rent, you know what your vehicle payment is, variable expenses. Anything from electricity to water to, you know, things that fluctuate and go back six months and average them out, or if you can go back a year, if you've been living in the same place, an average amount and ultimately determine average monthly cost for each expense. Right. Then once you've done that, you make adjustments and that's where you have to come up with the sacrifice. And I'm not going to go into. List this, list this, list this. I think we all know. Yeah. Where I'm going with this. And you make adjustments and you figure out, like, we. I'm not saying get rid of everything that you enjoy, like Netflix and Hulu and, you know, streaming, and you'll. Some of us very, very well. Might find some expenses that, you know, we needed to cut back on and didn't even know we were paying. The next steps are the most important, and we've already discussed them. Execution.

Doing it.

Doing it.

Yeah.

Following through with it, and most importantly, sticking to it.

Yeah.

So.

And language is key here. Okay. Language is really key. If it's something that you feel like, man, I have to do this. I have to do this, I have to do this. And it's. And you're constantly like, man, well, I have to give this up. And I have to give this up. You are going to, you're gonna cause yourself to fail because listen to what you're creating in your own head. It's like, it's just pain and pain and pain and pain. Throw some pleasure in there. You know what? I'm doing this. And because I'm doing this, I've made the calculations, and in two months, I'm gonna be able to do this with my kids. Something that I've always wanted to do. Create desire.

Yes.

Desire behind it. And it's gonna make you want to do those things. You're gonna show up even more passionate for those things. And, and it's not going to feel like it's hurting. It's going to feel like you're growing. It's going to feel like you're achieving the goal you want to get.

And it won't just feel like it. You actually are growing as a person because you're one. It's. It's self discipline. Yeah. You're teaching yourself how to do things. And this is also going to affect your kid or your kids, because they may have to eat some things that they're not happy about. And, you know, you can't always give them what they want. And we all have kids that complain at some point, depending on what age they're at. But at the end of the day, you know, you have to do what's best for them, short term and long term.

Yes.

And just know that whatever you're doing, rather than Taco Bell, you're giving them, you're, you're investing, you're sacrificing, but you're saving money and you're. And, and you're having more healthful snacks, healthful meals, and that that's what matters. And when you accomplish that, six months from now, when you've created this new routine right. Then you will have grown as a person.

You've.

You've taught self discipline to yourself, to your children. And, and it's a win, win, win. Win win situation. Your confidence may not feel like it along the way.

Yeah.

But I promise you. And this is where the old, old man, wise one comes in. Because I've been through it and I've had to do this in so many different areas in life for reasons similar to Frank's, where I'm forced because I'm in the process of doing something and I have to complete it. And I wasn't expecting to have to come up with 50 grand or whatever the case may be. And I had to figure out how to do it. Just like you are figuring out how to do it and you're. Fortunately, you're in a position where you have a vehicle that you paid off, which I think is kudos. That's phenomenal that you've been able to do that. And you're sacrificing your truck to, you know, again, get something better. Something better for you and you and the goose. Yeah, that's what my nose are by.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And guys, last thing before we log off on this. This is going to get your time back. I know everybody says I don't have enough time, but something that somebody taught me once that really changed the way I saw things is you can buy back your time by cutting out things that you don't need that you're spending money on. Because the reason why you're so busy is because you got to work. So. Because you got so many things to pay for.

Yeah, so true. So true.

If you start cutting out some expenses, right? Like I'm just saying, man, like, stop eating out all the time. Oh, well, it's hard. I don't have enough time. Well, if you stopped eating out all the time, you wouldn't have to work so much. So then you could actually cook at home and you could use that to create an experience with your kids. You could use that to learn something. You could learn when you do dates. Hey, you know what? I don't like to eat out, but I'm a heck of a cook. Come over to my house, let's make some dinner. Like maybe get some desserts. No, but you know what I'm saying? Like, you can buy back your time simply by cutting out expenses. Because now the demand on you to provide as much is not there. But if you keep on grinding, then you just save more money and you create more. It's just a win all around.

Yeah, absolutely. So I. I hope that helps with the topic requests that came in on that topic. And I hope it helps other people in this crazy, uncertain world. We're currently living in, but we will all get through it. We'll get through it together. And thank you guys so much for tuning in. We really appreciate it.