These three things can change everything.

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Welcome back, everybody, to the number one podcast, in our opinion, in the world.

We got, we got a couple good episodes for you guys this week. Hopefully you guys are enjoying the two episodes a week. Today we're going to talk about something really cool. Scott brought something up that he's been, like, really just kind of marinating on. And I really believe it's going to be encouraging for all of us.

Yeah, I, I, I was just kind of thinking, like, what are some things that are crucial to all aspects of parenting, our careers and just life in general. Yeah. And I actually kind of got this, I guess these three words, which are much more than words, but from our, our last couple support groups. And they are three things, and I want to say, in my opinion, but I actually believe more so, in fact. Yeah. And they are patience, effort, and what else?

Urgency.

Urgency. So you and kind of Frank and I were talking earlier even, and he was like, well, maybe urgency and effort we could combine. And I was like, no, because. And we kind of dissected a little bit and effort, you can put forth a hundred percent effort, but if you're not creating the urgency to make that, to get that effort and to make it happen, then the effort is, it may be a day late and a dollar short. Right.

Yeah, exactly.

And then obviously patience, and this is a big one, because I think that a lot of people. And when I say patience, I'm not just talking about, you know, your typical adjective of gosh, I'm gonna be patient and wait for Frank to show up. He's late or whatever.

Yeah. Like inactive.

But that certainly could come into play. But I'm talking about with everything, because there's different types of, of effort and patience and urgency. Because if you think about, we were talking about like, from, like the macro long term and then short term. And a lot of people, in my opinion, this is an opinion will set out to do something and get frustrated or impatient and give up too quick.

Yeah.

And that is something that is one you don't want to do and demonstrate it to your, to your children because you want your children to be patient, to be patient. You want your children to understand the sense of urgency and the importance of it. And you want your certainly want your children and yourself and your soon to be or ex wife or just X to, to know that you are willing to be patient. You are willing to put forth the effort. Yeah. And you are willing to create urgency. And it also goes, you can transfer that over to your career if you work at a company to demonstrate, you know, if it's a project you're working on, to demonstrate to your boss if you run your own business. Especially, you know, there's, I mean a lot of people don't give building a business enough patience, time and especially urgency.

Yeah.

And effort. Yeah. So I guess these three things can be like you, you can utilize or I guess you can take these three adjectives and. Which are much more than just words and apply them to your everyday life, but in every aspect of your everyday life. Yeah. And you know, with co parenting especially, you know, that's a big one. And we have, you know, we have to show patience. Yeah. We have to demonstrate effort. And I can't, you know, there's, there's constantly people dealing with things that are unique scenarios, you know, that not everyone can relate to. So without trying to relate to every situation or scenario.

Yeah.

I wanted to kind of bring these three things into play and hopefully get, you know, even if we, we can help a couple people that are struggling with whatever their scenario is to focus and, and kind of understand that by not giving up. And, and it's also just like, you know, for, with self improvement, you know, it's, it's like so many people think, you know, I'm putting the effort in, you know, I've created the urgency, but I'm not seeing results.

Yeah.

And that's where patience comes in. And you have to identify what, you know, what is it that you're trying to accomplish, you know, and is it something that is generational? Like are you trying to change? Like, like being the first person to.

Stop being an alcoholic or, or like.

Generational, like super macro, like you know, being the first person in your family to graduate college and be a millionaire or whatever success is to you. And that's kind of macro. And you got to be patient, you know, 10, 15 plus years and, and have plans and then there's seven days.

Yeah.

A month, three months. And I guess is what my advice would be, whatever your situation or scenario is, is to make sure you're giving it enough time, effort, patience. So whatever. Let's say you have a goal and that Goal is something to do with co parenting, and, you know, you're putting in the effort, which I want to.

Be very clear, should not involve the other parent. Your goal in co parenting should not involve the other parent because you can't control them. If you base a goal off of another human, you're setting yourself up for failure. So the goal should be, how do I want to show up? How do I want to create a blueprint and boundaries in co parenting? Because if your goal is to get your ex to be nice to you, good luck. Good luck. Okay, well, not saying they won't be nice to you. I'm just saying you're setting yourself up to base your results off of somebody else's actions. That's like saying, hey, world, I need you to make me happy. Hey, life, I need you to show up for me so that I can be happy. When your goals need to be internal.

Right. And. And maybe it's like you're putting. Your goal is something to do with your children or one of your children or your. Or your only child.

Exactly.

You know, and you want them to, you know, understand certain things, which takes patience.

Yeah.

Right. And give that enough time and set. Kind of like, all right, I. In 90 days, I want my son, who is really struggling with a certain situation in 90 days, based on things that I do differently, the efforts that I put in and the urgency that I create because I'm giving myself. I'm going to be patient and. And I'm going to make 90 days. Even though a lot of people think, oh, I can. I can make this. I should be able to change this in 30, 30 days, but, you know, extend it to 90 and be patient, because so many times, you know, maybe I'm working on something. I'm putting in the effort. I'm creating the urgency. I'm putting in the effort. Effort, effort. I'm trying my ass off, and I. I'm just falling short. I'm not seeing the results. Yeah. But maybe on, you know, you're on day 80 and you're like, screw this, and you give up.

Yeah.

Wait till day 90 and bam, something changes.

Yeah.

That's kind of my goal.

And can I bring a thought to that, bro?

Please?

That. It kind of goes against it, but I think you're gonna agree with it.

Okay.

Okay. So I've been on this journey of. With my goal setting. Instead of setting goals, I'm trying to set standards. So, for example, I think you should do both. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But this is why I say that.

Right.

If you shoot for 90 days. This is what I want to see. Then you don't see it in 90 days. Let's just say it doesn't happen. Okay? Now impatience creeps in because you, because you set the goal. But if you set the standard of. Let's just say that you want to be an incredible, you want to have peace in your co parenting relationship. You want to be unbothered by that in 90 days. Well, set the standard of. How does that person, in 90 days, that's completely unbothered by co parenting. How do they process things? Do they make everything mean something about themselves? Do they try and control everything? Is that what somebody who has peace does? Or do they control what they can control? They establish healthy boundaries and they show up like that every day. So if you show up like that every day, more than likely you're going to hit it before the 90 day mark. But now you're operating in a new standard and you're almost setting yourself up for fate, for like, for a win automatically from the beginning. So it's the goals. But the goals need to be set with standards. And, and the standard I almost feel should be the goal. How do I need to show up today so that I don't, I don't just have this one goal where if I happen to not hit it now, impatience creeps in. Does that make sense?

Yeah, it, yeah, sure, it makes sense. And I, I think it's best to. I wanted to bring, I wanted to bring the patience and sense of urgency and effort and in, in a very general way. And I kind of wanted to shy away from particular, you know, specific examples because again, everyone out there has unique scenarios. Right? They're all unique. And some of, some of which, you know, like, we haven't even thought of. So I want to be able to speak to everybody so they can apply this to their specific scenario. So if it's, I think by, by just generally speaking, you know, having. If you're not seeing results, don't give up.

Yeah.

Just maybe take a step back and kind of have, you know, maybe, maybe you. It requires a mind shift. Maybe it requires a, a different perspective.

Well, I think that's where the urgency and effort comes in. If you're not seeing the result, change the standard of your urgency in your efforts. You see what I'm saying? In whatever goal it is that you're going after, if you're not achieving that result, then take a step back. Notice, okay, how are my efforts right now and what's my urgency behind those efforts? And Then change those.

Well, but sometimes there are situations and again, that's why I wanted to keep it general because there are situations where you are, you can be doing everything right and you've put yourself in check. You're like, you've, you've journaled, you've created notes and you've hit, you know, all your short term goals to get to that one long term goal or semi, long term goal, whether it's 90 days, six months, a year, whatever.

Yeah.

And you know, you, you're, you're not being, you're being intentional about it. Right. So you're doing all the things, but the results aren't happening because of potential outside variables that come into play that you didn't expect or certain, you know, things that you can't control.

Yeah.

And that's where patience comes in.

Yeah, that's where that key one comes in.

That's, I think that's, and that's my whole premise here is you, you know, if you're not putting in all three, then you're never going to get.

Yeah.

Where you want to go. And that's why each and every one is so important. That's like urgency. If you're not creating the urgency you're not going to get, then the effort isn't going to be as impactful.

Yeah.

And if you're not patient, even though you're doing creating the urgency and the effort, it's not going to quit too soon. Correct? Yeah, it's really good. So that, you know, I hope that can help people if they can apply it to their unique situation scenario. And again, that's why I wanted to bring it in without going into specifics because, you know, just from the support group alone and hearing like so many different challenges people are dealing with.

Yeah.

I hope that those three things, if applied well and correctly, will help people get.

Yeah.

Where they want to go.

I love that, I love that I want to hit on this really quickly.

Cool.

Because I just feel it in my heart. I want to hit on the patience part of things because I think that's the key one. Why? Because it's the one thing that we've got to accept what we can't control. Effort and urgency, I can control that. I control that really well. But patience, that's where now you're dealing with an outside dimension.

Which is exactly what I just said. Right?

Yeah.

All the variables and things that come into play that you can't control, you gotta operate. That's patience. That's where patience really comes in.

Exactly.

Even though you're doing everything.

Yes.

And yeah. So, yeah, you're spot on.

And what I want, what I want to hit on is I want to encourage everyone. Like, I know that, you know, not everyone believes in God and that's. That's fine, whatever you would choose to believe in. But you got to believe in something because, I mean, you would be a fool to think that you are in control of your life right now.

Yours are.

Guess why? Because the lungs that you're using, they're borrowed.

The lungs that you're on borrowed time.

And on borrowed time. So you really think, you really think that your urgency and your efforts is going to be the one thing that controls everything? It's going to get you there. But the patience part is the trusting that there is somebody who loves me so much, that is so much bigger, that is orchestrating things at the right time. And when things seem to not be going my way, guess what he's doing. He's filtering out the crap that you don't need to align the stuff that you do need. And when you're patient long enough, it all suddenly just clicks and you're like, everything makes sense now.

Because I was patient and I. Dude, very well said, very well said. And I agree 100% that, you know, whether you believe in God or whatever, whoever your high, higher power is, even if it's a stick, I don't care. But you have. You have to rely on something, someone, you know, a greater power in some form or fashion, in my opinion. And for those that disagree, I apologize and wish you the best. Yeah, but you're probably very impatient right now.

If you disagree with that, you're probably very impatient, struggling with patience right now.

Yeah, just turn the channel. Turn the channel, would you said that.

Great episode.

No, Very, very well. It. And we can close out on that, buddy. We'll see you guys on the next one. Thanks for tuning in.