What is my Kid learning?

Hey. Welcome to the Single Dads Podcast, A podcast for single dads by single dads. If you haven't downloaded the Single Dads podcast app, make sure you do so that you join our community and you can interact with a life support group as well as life support meetings. This show is all about encouraging you and giving you extra perspective to hopefully help you be the dad that you know you can be. Hope you enjoy the show.

Ready to roll? I'm ready to roll.

Let's go, man. Welcome back to the single.

Oh, my phone just fell. Let me see it.

I dropped you guys, man. I want you guys to be in the podcast with us today. I dropped y'. All. My bad. Okay, there we go. All right, all right.

Just for anyone on Instagram, we just decided we're recording our podcast, and we just said, what the hell? We're gonna record it live.

We're gonna do it live.

We're gonna do it live.

Yeah. So let's. Let's jump into the show. But before we do, bro, did you catch the Cowboys game last night.

Bro?

I mean, but honestly, they're finally playing.

I. I turned it. I actually literally turned it off for, like, 45 minutes.

Yeah.

Because, I mean, at halftime, it was what, 17, 3 or 23? Yeah, it was bad.

It was really bad.

And I'm sorry, but I'm not a Cooper Rush fan. I'm not.

Even though he got us four W's.

I don't think he got us four W's. He was just the quarterback. Our defense got us four W's.

Yeah, well, we had a score to win.

Yeah, our defense scored.

Oh, man.

I mean, we can go on 105.3 and argue with those guys, but. Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm just such a die hard fan. It's just. And I hate Philadelphia, and it's such a rivalry, and they're the only undefeated team. I really wanted to freaking win.

Yeah, Yeah, I feel you. I feel you on that, man. Well, we can't. We can't win them all, unfortunately.

But I want to in Philadelphia. Seems to me.

Yeah, man. So this week's been really cool, guys. Everyone who's listening, it's been really awesome. I had my little girl for fall week, and we did fall week. Yeah. Or fall break. So it's really cool because apparently she gets fall break, and then she also gets Thanksgiving break and Christmas break. So I got her for fall break. Her mom gets her Thanksgiving, and then I get her for Christmas, which I'll take.

Yeah, I'll take That's a good training.

You can keep Thanksgiving every year. I don't really care. I'm thankful every day. It's Thanksgiving on my end. Every single day anyways.

Just without a turkey.

Yeah. But, yeah, bro. No, it was awesome. Because I don't know if you saw, but I posted that she finally got to hold her chameleon.

Yeah, I did see that.

Yeah. So for anyone who doesn't know, I bought my little girl chameleon because she's been so. Like, what you name it? She named it blue. Blue from.

Even though it's green.

Yeah. So she named it blue from Jurassic World.

Does it change colors?

It does, actually. It does.

Will it be blue at some point?

It has, like, these blue dots, almost like cheese. Cheesy questions, but it's actually really freaking cool. And then it gets pissed, so it, like, grows its beard thing out like that, and it, like, yawns.

How big does it get? How big?

He's. He's gonna get about the size of his mic. And right now. Right now he's about half the size. But my little girl's been wanting to hold him. And bro was so sad because chameleons don't like to be handled, like, a lot. And so at first, I was trying to get her to hold him, so I'd have her put her finger underneath the chameleon and have him try and, like, walk on, but he would just stare at her, like. And you know how they can rotate their eyes so it's like the most intense, rude side eye you've ever experienced. He's just, like, looking at you like you're dumb. And he turns his head but is still looking at you like, what are you doing?

Why does the. Why does blue make you feel dumb so?

Because. Because of that look he gives you, like, what are you doing, bro? And so my little girl, it was so sad, dude. My little girl, she was like. She was like, papa, why doesn't blue like me? And I was like, maybe he's just shy still. He's trying to get used to it. Whatever. So then, like, two days ago, I think it was Saturday. Saturday, I had the idea of getting a cricket, and I told her. I was like, put your hand underneath him, and I'm gonna show him the cricket, but I'm gonna hold it far away. So he started walking on her arm to get to the cricket. And so then she was holding him finally. And so we did that twice now.

Did he feast?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was so cool. It's on her arm. It's so cool watching him, like, feed.

So he ate. He ate the cricket on her arm.

I was holding it, but he was on her arm. He went, like, stuck the tongue out, brought it back in, and then ate.

Video.

Yeah, I have a lot of videos of feeding that. It's like every time we feed it, I record. It's the same thing, but it's just cool.

Like watching snakes eat the.

The mice.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe I'm a little, like, I don't know.

No, dude, it's cool. So, okay, a little off topic, but I have this.

We haven't even been on top.

I know anything yet. But I have this idea of a zoo that eventually I want to do because I hate going to the zoo. And they just look miserable. The animals look miserable. So imagine having an enclosure that's big enough for each animal that it's like they feel like they're out in the wild. And when feeding time comes, you release a wild animal so they actually hunt it down. So it's like you're pretty much giving them their natural environment and you're feeding their natural instincts while they're still in captivity, so they still feel more themselves.

Sounds like an African safari.

Yes, but you get to pay to go to it in the United States of America. And whenever the lions feeding, guess what, you release an antelope or whatever, or a gazelle, and then you get to watch the lions hunt and then eat.

That's an entrepreneurial project I want no part of.

It's going to be a lot of waivers of waivers and a lot of backlash. But, I mean, hey, it's a lot nicer than just keeping them caged up all inhumane. In my. In my opinion, bro, in my opinion.

We all have them.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So today we wanted to chat through a couple things. Me and Scott were talking, and I. I was talking to a buddy, and he. He was talking about how we have this natural sense as humans to, like, want to do the impossible. Right. Which I agree. But I also. I also disagree because the more that we become adults, the further we shy away from that. And this is what I told him. I was like. Because he used the example of his son. He's got, like, this cute little kid. He's, like, not even one yet. And he was saying how his son wants to walk, even though it feels impossible and even though he fails and fails, but he wants to walk. Right? That's what he's trying.

That's just a human being who hasn't developed yet. That's how they Develop by seeing people do things and then mimicking them.

Yeah.

I mean, that's just natural human.

Exactly.

Human development.

And so that's what I told him. I was like, I don't think he naturally just wants to do the impossible. I think he sees that you're walking, so it makes him want to walk. And then he.

He knows it's possible because that's what he sees.

Exactly.

I don't think he has the. Like, he doesn't think it's impossible. Maybe. I don't think kids are developed enough to think it's impossible. For me, all they're thinking is, I see that that can be done, and I'm gonna figure out how to do it.

Exactly. Which is how every single human should be. Right. And this is what I told him. I. I was telling him how I believe that the reason why we stop trying to do the impossible is because we stop seeing people do. Do the impossible. And then it got me thinking about, like, with my little girl. Right.

Well, we stopped trying to do the impossible. I didn't mean to cut you off. Even though I did. But we stopped trying to do the impossible because what. Exactly what you said. But also because we're lazy.

Yeah. Ah, maybe. Yeah.

No, I mean, we think, God, this seems impossible, but it's too hard. But what you said, like, we don't. We're not around people that are pushing us, encouraging us and telling us it can be done. You can do it.

Yeah.

Without that.

Yeah.

It might be impossible.

Exactly. And it's like. It's like Ed Mylett has this quote where he talks about how the worst type of child abuse is when you don't go after your dreams. It was like. Because then that little kid grows up and they're like, mommy, you've. And daddy, you've been telling me to go after my dreams, but why aren't you. Why, why aren't you doing it? You're not showing me that it's possible. You're actually showing me to give up on my dreams. Because that's the model that you're presenting to me every single day. And it really got me thinking as far as to, like, with my little girl, it's like, what am I showing her that is possible? And what am I showing her that's impossible? Every single day.

Interesting.

Because we're doing that whether we want to accept the fact that we're doing that or not. The truth of the matter is, is that we are actually doing that, like, every single day. We're showing our kids what they can do and what they can't do. And it's all based off of what we do, what we believe we can do, what we believe we can't do. If you believe you can't forgive and it's so hard for you to forgive through this process that you've been going through, and it's so hard for you to love even though you've been hurt, then guess what? Your kid's going to model exactly that. And it's not, it's not that they can't. It's that that's what they've learned because we've showed them that. We've literally demonstrated it to them.

But there's another side to the coin as well because. And it also, I think it also has to do with the age of your kid or kids. And like there are some, some kids that might, especially as we get a little older, I think that we see our parents do something that we don't like or maybe that they, or see. See them do not do something that we don't like.

Yeah.

And because of that we strive to do the opposite because we. The way it made us feel.

Yep.

And you know, it's like an example might be like I saw my parent, I saw one of my parents drinking a lot. And because of that, you know, some, some kids might get on the, on the train and say, well, it's okay because my dad does it.

Yeah.

Some kids might see the effects it has on their family on his. Maybe him not being able to hold down a job. Yeah. And be on the opposite end of the spectrum and be like, yeah, f. That I'm not, I'm not going to be like that. So again, it does have a lot to do with what age group you're talking about.

Yeah.

But younger kids for sure.

Oh, yeah.

That's just like.

And see, like, that's the good.

I mean a five year old is not going to crack open a Miller Light. But.

Yeah, well, well, it's happened before. It's happened before, unfortunately. Right.

But I'll have to eat my words on it.

But it's, it's true though, because you do have that positive outcome that can happen. Right. And I know I've, I've spoken to parents before, bro, where it's like, well, they're gonna get to make their own choice. And I agree with that. But to me that's eventually. Yeah, but to me that's such a, that's such a coward move.

How so?

Because it's, I don't disagree.

But how so?

Yeah, because it's saying. It's insinuating that they're gonna get to make their own choices. So why would I even try to model something good for them anyways? Because if they make a bad choice, that was their choice. If they make a good choice, that was their choice. As a parent, I think that's kind of a coward way out.

It's pretty old. It's an old school way of thinking.

Because why wouldn't I, like, think about this? Why wouldn't you do everything you can to set them up to actually make the right choices as opposed to making it harder for them? Why would you continue to willingly bow down to bitterness so that they can eventually look at you and say, I don't want to be like you. I'd rather be at the opposite of you. That's like, I just don't. I don't want that kind of legacy.

Like, absolute shit.

Yeah, same dude. Like, it's just. It's not the legacy that I want to leave. And I think this is where I. I had a question on my Instagram. I went. I went live with all of you guys one of these days. By the way, my. My Instagram page is live right now also. But I went live and some lady asked me, she said, do you think kids get depro depressed through the divorce process? And I said, absolutely. No. The business one, the divorce recovery one. And she asked that. She said, do you think that kids get depressed because of the divorce process? And I said, absolutely. I was like, but I think it's because of us. I was like, I think it's 100 a responsibility. Because how can we expect them not to get depressed if we are modeling that divorce causes depression in me, this situation makes me depressed. Therefore the kids like, well, this situation should make me depressed then too, if it's making this person depressed, who I admire and look up to, and I'm creating my model, my blueprint of the world around this human, my parent, then inevitably they walk into it. And because if you stay in your depression and you don't do anything to get out of it, then guess what? You're no longer showing up as the parent that you can't be. So now your kid is lacking. And so it wasn't the divorce that caused the depression. It was our inability to process through it and be able to still show up as a functioning adult. That's loving, that's caring, that's selfless, that then causes the depression. So I don't think it's a divorce issue. I think It's a parenting issue. Just like all the gun stuff and all that, man.

Well, Yeah, I agree 100%. It's, it, it's always a parenting issue. But how the, how the co parenting or the, you know, is it amicable? And oftentimes it's not, unfortunately.

Yeah.

Props to those who, who are able to have an amicable split and co parent in a healthful way. But you know, it's like when one parent is selfless and one parent is non confrontational and one parent is the exact opposite and irrational and they don't watch what they say in front of their kid or kids. You know what then, you know, that's, that's. And there's a lot of people out there that are dealing with that. Oh yeah.

And I dealt with that for years.

Yeah. I mean it's like, but this, the shitty thing is, it's like one, it's like, I don't want to say one's right and one's wrong, but in a lot of cases it is. Yeah, but, but, but it's just really how you, how you handle it. And the less kids see when it comes to confrontation, arguing, yelling, disagreements, the less they see, the better. And unfortunately the parents that don't comprehend that and continue to, you know, say things about your father's a pos and this and this and this and oftentimes even make up.

Yeah. You know, or even not say it, but treat them as so.

Yeah.

Because that's more power. A lot of the things that we teach our kids, they don't really, they're not really taught it. They're, they caught, they catch it.

Well, that any parent that doesn't realize that by putting down, even if, even if the other parent did do something that was inexcusable, infidelity or lies or whatever the case, it still hurts the kids when.

Yep.

They bring it up and make it public in front of them.

Yeah.

The kids can find out about it at a, at a more mature age.

Yeah.

And when it's time. But not when they're seven, not when they're eight.

Yeah, exactly.

Sadly it's.

That'S how a lot of people handle it sometimes and, and, and.

Don'T even think about, they're only thinking about themselves.

Yeah, that's true. It's true. So going to what you said, where what if like the other parent is just volatile and it's like, well then that's a tough situation, right. Well, it is, but this is how I like to see it now. You're giving Your kid a multiple choice quiz. Now you're giving your kid like the option of, look, we can either live, choose to live life like this person or we can choose to live life like this person. And I'm going to choose to be the good example. If I don't agree with what my co parenting is doing, I could get frustrated. I could do all this stuff and just focus on what she's doing all the time and then that'll do nothing but put me in a bad place where I can't even show up as a good parent. Now, the parent that I want to be a proactive parent, right? But if I focus on how do I want to handle this situation, ideally, now it's like my daughter sees, well, look, mom might have done this or dad might have done this, but mom or dad on the other end responded this way. And for some reason they're still happy, they still have peace, they're still intentional with me, they still have good friendships, they still have healthy habits, they're still joyful, even though the other end is like that. And so I think it gives us a good opportunity, bro. Like, for me, I just genuinely believe that it's giving me a good opportunity to show my daughter how to handle conflict and how to handle situations that are completely out of their control. Which honestly, bro, I think is a massive blessing from God. Because think about where everything is going. Like our kids are going to deal with things that are way out of their control so that we couldn't even imagine in their future.

So rewind just a second. You said that you're teaching your daughter how to handle conflict. In what ways are you doing that and how?

By handling conflict in a healthy manner. Myself. If she sees that this happened to papa, but papa responded this way, she is now going to catch that because it is what we were just talking about earlier. It is me displaying that you can walk, you can talk, because I'm doing it. But if she sees me shy away, if she sees me get depressed, if she sees me like, isolate myself from the entire world, put my guard up, never let anyone in, then guess what she's gonna learn. When you go through hard times, you put your guard up. When you go through hard times, you push people out and you isolate yourself. And now you. Now we're gonna have kids in years from now that are not, probably not even going to be married, probably not going to have a healthy relationship. Why? Because we have taught them to not have a healthy relationship based on our lack of emotional courage and our lack of Emotional intelligence. And now, because this person hurt me, screw the world. Everybody is screwed now. And now our kid feels the exact same way because we've modeled it or hopefully if we do that, hopefully our kid does what you said. I'm not going to be like my dad if that's how my dad responded. If my dad got crippled by that and stayed down and didn't spend time with me and was present, I'm going to do the opposite. That's why we have so many people now. They're like, I don't want to be like my father. I don't want to be like my mother. I just don't want my little girl to say that. I want my little girl to say, I want to be exactly the way my dad was. Like, I want to. He might have not been perfect, but.

But certain characteristics and certain.

Or exactly because that challenges. Like, that challenges me more. Because that. Then it's like, okay, I have to. In these areas, how can I grow in these areas, how can I grow in these areas? That way. She's not looking for a good example in this area over here or in this area over here or in this area over here. She's looking at the greatest example in her own household in all of these areas. But that takes hard work, bro. Like, and it's exhausting sometimes and. And it's crushing. But I want to give that to her, bro. I don't want. I don't want her to look up. I don't want my son, my future son to look up to Tom Brady more than they do to me. You know? You know what I mean? Like, but that's.

That, that's. I'll leave that one alone.

I just don't want that, bro. Like, for example.

But. But if you're. If your future son is a football fan, naturally he's going to look up to the goat. Oh, well, yeah, more so than you.

Yeah. But I'm talking in the sense of, like. If we're talking specific ability for, like, football or like MMA or whatever, then yeah, because I'm not a professional in those. But I want my kid to see me and be like, dad, dad accomplished his dreams. Dad actually had a dream and dad went for it and dad made it happen. And because that's all. That's really the only reason we look up to Tom Brady. Anybody that does is because the dude refused to stay down and he made it happen against all odds. Same thing with Michael Jordan. It's not necessarily. Yes, obviously that they're the best, not.

Why I look up to him, but.

But it's not their ability to like, shoot a basketball. It's what got them there. Literally is. Is what it is. And it's the legacy that they created. So I want my little girl to be like, dang, dude, my dad created an amazing legacy and some same thing.

It's the. It's the grind, you know, that gets you there. And I was watching. I don't know if you've seen. Well, I'm not going to bring up any specific, like documentaries or anything, but there was. There was one that. About the.

The.

The USA.

Redeemed or. Yeah, something like that, right?

Yeah, yeah, that one.

I haven't seen it yet.

Oh man, it's. It's amazing. But it showed like, like all the different u. S. Olympic basketball teams.

Yeah.

And you know, from all the way back when we got like robbed from Russia. It was a. In like 1951 or. I can't remember.

Dang.

Don't quote me on that. But no, like, we had won and then they said no. No, like we were already celebrating. Then they had to put. They said no. They put three seconds back on the clock. And then Russia throws it down and makes it. No. And then they're. The one guy on their team is like 7 foot 9. Not really, but like crazy tall. Just catches it and dude. And. And USA like, it's like you're given the gold and then you're taking. They take it away. That sucks to live with that. That sucks. So. But anyway, it was just showing like. I'm gonna bring up one like, specific scenario that has to do with what we're talking about. And it's about the late Kobe Bryant rip. Yeah. But like, all the guys went out in Vegas one night. Like everyone on the team, you know, it's kind of like a. Hey, we're going out as a team. And they had a blast. And they're getting in at like, you know, 4:30 and they're walking in and Kobe Bryant, he didn't go out. He's walking out to the gym and they're like, what are you doing, man? Going to the gym. Didn't say it and just went. Started working out. What a G. What a G is right? And what that did was like everyone on the team from that point on, guess what they started doing? Going to the gym early in the morning.

Oh, it's weird. They modeled what they saw.

Yeah, exactly.

So weird.

I just. I just thought that was like.

That's awesome.

So cool. And how like one person can create you know, and we're talking about the greatest. Like, the group of the greatest players of all time.

Yeah.

I mean, in bat, the greatest players at that time in the world.

Yeah.

And Kobe Bryant set the example for. For all of those players just by not saying a word.

But.

Excuse my language.

But doing.

Doing it. Which, you know, my motto in life is actions, show me. Don't tell me action. Actions over words, which is my handle on Instagram. But it's just. It may. It may. It gave me chills, and it was awesome, dude.

I love that. Because, bro, it's so true, man. Like, you want your kids to be happy? Show them, don't tell them.

Exactly.

Don't show them. Don't tell them.

My biggest. Also my big, like, opposite ends of the spectrum, like, when people say. Yeah, like, your words are worthless, man.

Yeah.

Freaking do it.

Yeah.

Just do it. You don't have to say it. Just show me that you're. Yeah. Show me what you are.

But think about. Think about this. The reason why that story is also so good is because of that Russia story. It's. It's because it brought it back around from a huge robbery to then, like, this type of dedication.

And when you watch the show, how they. How they bring the two together is amazing. Gosh, dude, it is.

I love that, bro. See, that's. That's the thing, okay? And maybe I'm a little crazy, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay being a little crazy, dude. I really am.

Like, everybody is.

But maybe I'm a little crazy. But why can't that be you? Why can't that be me? Not necessarily in basketball, but in life. Why can't that be everybody who's listening and watching live right now?

What?

Why? Why can't you take the biggest robbery of your life where you just got jacked and you just feel like you got the wind knocked out of you? Well, but then you have that dedication of, I am going to the gym.

That. That is exactly like. Like, they brought. They brought him in to. To tell the story, and, I mean, you just have to watch it. And.

But.

But. But telling that story to the team, it had an effect, and I think it might have potentially had the effect on Kobe to do what he did.

Yeah.

Which he's like, I'm not. That ain't happening to me.

Yeah.

Nope.

Nope. I'm not like, dude, there's some interviews with Kobe. This is turning into the Kobe show. But there's some interviews with Kobe, bro, where he was saying that his teammates this was when he was with the Lakers. They wanted to go out and party, and they were on, like, away games, and he was like. He was like, okay. He was like, let's go party. Let's go party. I'll go party with you guys. So he went and partied with him all night. 4:00am he's at their door knocking. Let's go. I partied with you. Now you come work with me. Oh, you think just because we partied, we're not going to do the work? No, no. If you want to party, we can party, but we're still going to do what we committed ourselves to. And then, bro. This ties in so good with what I heard the other day. I think his name is Sean Weatherford. I don't know. I know it's Weatherford. Jacked, dude. Super jacked, dude. Incredible influencer. Man of God. And he said that pros do what they're committed to and amateurs do what they feel like doing. That's the difference. Kobe was committed to it. He probably didn't feel like it, but he said, I made a commitment that I'm going to be at the gym at this time because I want to outwork every single person on the court.

His. His mindset was being the best is. Is the only way I'm going to be.

Yeah.

Anything less than the best was unacceptable to him.

Yeah. And it was his best. It wasn't best compared to anybody else.

Did not compare himself.

Yes.

To MJ or LeBron Magic or any of the LeBron. He.

He just.

It was him.

Yep. It was him, bro.

So he wanted to be better than he was yesterday.

Yes.

He wanted to break the record that he had. He wanted to. Just as long as he was doing, becoming better, improving, improving, improving, then he knew he would be the best bro.

Exactly.

So, yes. Why. Why can't anybody be that in whatever it is that you do or whatever you're passionate about? It may not even be what you're doing right now, but it may be what you should be doing because your passion is there.

It might be as this. As a dad, why can't you be the best dad? Why can't you be the example? Why can't you be.

Which. Which isn't comparing yourself.

Yes, exactly.

This dad or this dad and talk about and often say is to be the best dad, you have to be your best self.

Yeah. And surround yourself.

And in order to be your best self. And we've talked about this in our live support groups, like, you have to focus on you. Because if you're not your best self. How can you portray that you know anything less to your kid or children?

If Kobe wasn't healthy, how could he go out there and practice that much and lead a team? He couldn't. He had to be healthy. He had to be healthy. You got to be. You got to be able to take care of yourself. Now, I know a lot of people take that, and they make it so toxic. Which means everything is about me. And that's not what it's about.

No, it's.

It's the op. It's the opposite of that. Like, the self love movement nowadays, bro, is so. Ugh. Because it's like, it's all about, what can I get, what can I get, what can I get, what can I get? And it's never about how can we serve? And the point of self love is to fill yourself enough so that you can pour out.

And who. I don't know if you saw this, but somebody posted a YouTube link in general chat in our app, and I was. I was the first one to watch it.

Yeah.

And it was depressing. Amazing.

The depressed dude, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was like. It's like, see, all you're focusing on is what you don't have.

Yep.

But you're not focusing on what you have.

Yeah. And. And what I really liked that he said there. He was like, the problem is you've surrounded yourself with people who have allowed you to walk like that for so long that now you think you're justified in it. And that is a problem.

Yeah.

If. If. If you just. Oh, my gosh, dude. If you're drowning and you just want to be seen, then good luck. Someone's just going to sit there and watch you drown. But at least you're being seen. Or do you want someone to jump in there and be like, this is how you swim, bro. Kick your feet, stroke your hands, like, start moving. Or do you just want to be heard and seen as you're sitting there in a pond drowning? No, I don't care if you see me or hear me. You know how I know you hear me? And see me is when you take action to help me. And when you tell me that this will help you, that means you really see me. Because you don't just see me where I'm at. You see where I'm going, and I'm not going somewhere good. And you're being proactive about it. That's what I care about. It's like, cool, man. I just want someone to, like, hear me because I've been having a hard day. Cool. They just heard you. What'd that do for you now? What'd that do for you before? Besides you vomiting your problems on somebody else?

I got 10 new followers, 100 new followers, right? I got 800 likes, bro, of more.

People that are just self loathing and encouraging that type of behavior. When you have the power in your hands to do what Kobe did, to do what all the greats in the world are doing and turn your life around, man. Like, you're no different than anybody else. We all have. We all. We were all made the same. And God created us that way. And he gave us a special gift to be overcomers, to be more than conquerors. So why not you? Regardless of how tough your situation is, that doesn't mean your situation isn't hard and heavy, bro. But, like, look at what you went through. I was talking to someone the other day. Johnny. Johnny. He was just talking about how he was like, dang, man. Like, Scott really went through some stuff. Scott really went through some stuff. He went through through some hard times. He was like. And to see like, how he is now is like. It's. It's really encouraging. And it's like, you made a decision though. You made a decision of how am I going to turn this around then, dude? Like, I could just sit here and I could just be in pain or I can use the pain to help me. Like you said, stop taking things for granted. To help me show up as a better hermit, to help me be more loving, to help me be more empathetic. I can use that pain or I can just use that pain to try and draw attention from everyone so that you feel seen and heard and felt bad for. Like, that's not going to do anything for you. And it's not going to set a good example for our kids. And I get it that our situations are hard. And you're really good at empathizing with this too, bro, but that doesn't mean we got to stay down, dude.

Literally the last thing I would ever want to be known for is pity. Yeah. Or, or, or, or the last thing I want from anyone is pity or feel sorry for me or. But what I crave is encouragement, support and positive influence. And like, teach me. Teach me. Yeah, like, tell me where. Tell. Tell me that I suck at this so I can improve.

Yeah.

And it won't hurt my feelings. It will make me excited because now I know what the majority is. Like, everyone out there. You suck at being on a podcast. Okay, well, I'm not gonna quit being on a podcast because you tell me I suck. I just need to figure out how I can grow. I suck and in what areas, and I'm going to improve on them.

Yes. And then, bro, it's like, Ed Sheeran. Have you heard his recordings of when he first was singing? Terrible, dude. Yeah, terrible, terrible. He played it live on a show and they were like, that was you. He was like, yeah, yeah, he was terrible at it. And now look, he's making millions because of it. If you feel like you're a terrible dad, look inward, and then don't just critique yourself because of it. But how can I get better in this area and then take action. If you feel like you failed as a husband, don't just critique it. Look at it. How can I get better in this area? As a son, Same thing. As a friend. Same thing, dude. Like, it's not going to do us any good to just look at our downfalls and then bash on ourselves for it. It's just not. It's not going to do us any good. So what do I want to do with this now? What kind of story do I want to build with this now? And inevitably, that's what we're going to show our kids, and that's what they're going to model.

Yeah, absolutely.

Man. That was good. That was really good, bro. You got anything else, bro, before we log off?

No, man, I. I had fun today.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, and for anyone that's wondering, the name of that show is the Redeem Team.

There we go. The Redeemed.

It just hit me. The Redeemed Team. I think it's on Netflix.

Netflix, Yeah, I saw it on there. Yeah, you guys check it out, man. Use it as a. You use it as a catapult, man. Say, man, how can. How can I turn my story around the same way that they did and then leverage it and use it for your good and use it as a tool to move you forward because we got one life to live, guys, man. And I'm just. I'm fully aware of that right now. And I know you are too, bro. And I. I just don't want to waste a minute just bashing on myself. I did that for 28 years already. Like, it didn't. It didn't help me get anywhere. And then as soon as I started focusing on man. Okay, I see this, but where do I want to be? That's. That's when my life started changing around. I know. That's when your life changed around. Years and years and Years ago, bro. And we want the same for all of you guys. Everybody that's watching right now, we want the same for everyone that's listening.

Surround yourself with. With positive people. And like, literally, I was telling Frank I look forward to Mondays because I get to hang out with Frank because he's a super positive friend. And he. He, He, He. He said something to me last week. My. My son took his driver's test, and unfortunately, first time around, he. He failed because he went 3 miles per hour, 3 or 4 miles per hour over the speed limit and just was nervous and, you know, did a couple stupid things. And fortunately, we were able to get him another appointment two weeks from. From his test, which is crazy because all the appointments are, like, months out.

You can't be doing that in Texas right now.

Yeah, yeah, we got. We got. We got fortunate in that aspect. But Frank. Frank said to me, he goes. He goes, man, still, like, celebrate him. And like, I. I'm not saying that I wouldn't have, you know, still been positive and. But what he said to me, like, stuck with me and encouraged me to do and say certain things that I ended up doing and saying to him. So it's just like little things like that you get when you hang out with positive people. And, you know, it's like, I'm grateful to. To have people like Frank in my life. And as a friend who, you know, no matter what the circumstance, there's always something positive that you say to me that. That helps me. And I. And I hope. I'm just saying I hope it's reciprocated.

You are. And.

If it's not, tell me I need to work on it. No, but, bro. But I just wanted to point that out. Just like, you know, it makes a difference just by being around positive people, one little thing they can say to you can, you know, encourage you to do something that you might not have done otherwise that made a positive impact on my relationship with my son. And I'm not saying I wouldn't have done something, but maybe I wouldn't have. I don't know. But either way, props to Frank for, you know, just being positive about the situation and encouraging me to do the same. So.

Gonna make me cry on airway.

Thanks for being my friend, buddy, and thank you for your positive influence and everything you do. You're a great dude.

I appreciate that, brother. You too, man. I learned from the best. Scott Fisher.

Hey, guys. If any of you actually joined today, I haven't looked. It's like, maybe a few people there's.

A little number over there.

Nevertheless, this time next week, how many people are there?

There's 34 on there live right now. I'll see how many total were on there, though, whenever I end it.

Cool.

Next week we have Kimball, right?

Yeah, only five on there, but we have Kimball. Yeah. Next week, if you don't, if, if you haven't downloaded our app, download it. And Single Dad's podcast, Google Play, if you have Android and of course Apple Store if you have iOS and just hover to the events section for details. And we will be live and it's going to be a great show. So, yeah, be this time next week.

Cool. Cool thing about that show is it's going to be a live podcast experience. Kind of like this, except it's going to be a lot more intimate and you will actually be able to unmute yourself and ask questions to Kimball Lewis. His website is empowering parents.com so you guys can go check him out and you can actually get one on one, like advice on your current situation right then and there right after the live podcast experience. But that is exclusive to single dad podcast supporters. And if you want to know how to support, obviously you got to be a single dad. I'm sorry, single moms. This is for single dads. And then you got to go to the app, go to Resource Payments, become a supporter that will give us your information and your email and then we'll be able to get that information to you so that you can jump join the Live experience and ask some questions to Mr. Kimble Lewis. Anything else, bro?

That's it, man. Had a good time. Thanks for joining in, whoever did, and we will see you guys next week.