What my kids will remember.

Hey, you're listening to the Single Dads Podcast, a podcast for single dads by single dads. In this podcast, you're going to be encouraged and hopefully given some practical tools to be able to become the parent that you've always wanted to be and that you know you can be. Hopefully, this podcast encourages you. Make sure that you download the Single Dads podcast app to join our community. Hope you enjoy the show.

Welcome back to the Single Dads Podcast, guys.

What's up, cup, everybody?

This is season five, and we told you that we were going to be doing a lot more content, so we are. We're going to be releasing two episodes for sure, every single week, and they're going to be a little bit shorter than all the other ones, but we're just going to compact it and just give you as much as we can in these, like, 10, 15 minutes as possible so that it can just enlighten your day, encourage you, motivate you, and then hopefully give you some practical takeaways that you can start applying immediately. Immediately.

100%.

So today we're going to be chatting about the importance of creating memories and moments with our kids. And not just the importance, but the practicality of it, because I know a lot of the times we think that, man, I just don't have enough money or I can't do this or I can't do that. And so we really want to hit on how you don't really need money to create these. These memories and these moments and just the impact that it has not just on your kid, but that it could have for generations to come.

Absolutely. And, you know, it's. It's. It's kind of crazy how we landed on this topic, but for those who have listened, I don't. I don't talk much about family because I really don't have any. And the reality of it is I. I have two family members. I have a dad and I have a brother. They just haven't been in my life. And as of recently, they both have come back into my life, which for me is a massive blessing. And granted, my relationship with my dad is phone conversations, which is ironic because he has always hated talking on the phone his entire life, and I've broken records with him as far as our conversations go, as from one hour, two hours, and heck, we almost hit three this weekend. And that's awesome. And he talks about things that he's never talked about before, and it's really cool. We've kind of hit a whole new. I don't Know what, what the words are. But I guess realm of our relationship and I think a lot of it has to do with me telling him and reaching out to him and telling him how grateful I am for all the things that he did for me and didn't do for me and growing up, because growing up I never saw him. You know, he, and in that day and age, he, he, he was a bank and my mom was the person that, you know, took us to sporting events and PTA or whatever, you know, that type of thing. My dad was not present at any sporting events, at any, you know, he, I never saw him. I communicated with him by literally leaving notes by the coffee pot because he would wake up at 4am and be gone to work by 5 and he'd come home, go running, drink a sixer and hit the, hit the hay. But by the time I, before I even got home. And so that being said, we've been talking about things that we have never talked about before and now that, you know, I, I am dealing with things that I can genuinely empathize with, that he dealt with with me just on a different level. Yeah, we were talking and, you know, we didn't take one family vacation.

Period.

The end. Not one. Yeah. And I never knew. All I knew, we grew up very lower middle class and he just worked all the time and that's all I knew. And to get to the point, we were talking and he said, you know, I was telling him how my son has been able to, has been fortunate enough to this summer have some travels with his extended family from his mom's side because his cousins or aunts, aunts and or uncles have extended family or friends that are, I guess, well to do so. He was able to, he's been able to go to some pretty cool places on their dime and I haven't had to reach in because I wouldn't have been able to afford to send him on some of these things that he's been able to do. But he's, he has, he's been more places. I'll just say this. He's been more places at the age of 15 than I had been at the age of, by the age of 30. And I am now in my mid-40s and I've been to over 50 countries. So I'm a crazy traveling maniac. And that's probably why, because I didn't go anywhere when I was young. But my dad said to me yesterday, the one thing I wished I, you know, there's nothing I can do about it now. But was, you know, create memories, create experiences because they're. Because they're priceless. Yeah. And it really hit home because. And especially with our technology we have today, with our phones, we can capture moments. We can. And. And it doesn't have. I know I mentioned trips and traveling, but don't take that for the fact that you can still do things that are very budget friendly. I go camping.

Yes.

You know, go fishing. Like, for us in Texas, we have lakes everywhere. So fishing is like, you know, people from other states, like, take fishing tours in Texas.

Yeah.

You know, so, you know, if you live in California, you got the beach. If you live in different parts of the country, you all. We all have, you know, things that we can do that other parts of the country don't and. And the climate and so on, but without getting into all that. We all know that. So my point is, is like. And don't. Don't. When it's your son's birthday or your daughter's birthday or a special Christmas time. You know, I know there's gifts in Santa until. Until a certain age, but I guess my point is, is let's not focus on, like, material things.

Yeah.

As gifts. Because what happens, I mean, even I was talking about, like, a house is one thing. You know, like, somebody bought me a house that's extravagant and it'll forever. Yeah. And it appreciates in value. But like, even a car, you know, because I'm like, you know, trying to find my son a car right now, and unfortunately, the markets, I want to get into it, but. But like, there's, you know, like, expense, expensive handbags and things like that. It's like, so, you know, what do you get somebody that has everything, and what do you get somebody that has nothing? To me, the answer is the same. You create an experience, and it doesn't have to be an expensive bougie trip. You know, it can be anything that your mind, your creative juices flow and come up with, and it means so much more. Yeah. You know, especially with your kids. Yeah. And as single dads, most of us, we, you know, we're not. We don't have our kids full time. In fact, a tiny percentage of us do. I'm just one of those. Tiny percentage. But yeah. You know, when you. When you do get them, make. Make it count. And remember, like, you know, it doesn't have to be expensive. We can talk about, you know, things we can do with them.

Bro.

Just, I mean, be.

Be you with them is. Is like my biggest thing. Like, allow yourself to have Fun with them. That's the best gift that you can make them. You'll make memories like crazy. I remember my dad, bro. So simple. What? Listen to this. Technically it costed money because we were at the grocery store and he was buying groceries. But it didn't cost him anything to make this thing happen with me. And then I'm going to share another one. Also like awesome. I just remember going to the store and this was when like the self checkout things first started.

Yeah.

And I was little and he hit the machine after paying and he was like spit it out, spit it out.

Like an atm.

Yes. And so then I see money come out of it and my dad says that he starts walking away and he turns around and he sees me over there hitting the machine saying spit it out. Guess who I've done that to now? The goose. I've done that to the goose. Now that's a moment, bro.

Yes it is.

That's a moment that I did tell like my little girl now. And trust me, when I have another kid, I'm going to do it to them too.

And if you get, and if you get your video, your phone out and film them hitting the machine right out. Yeah. Then that's a moment and that's something you can share.

Yes.

With.

And what did it cost?

0.

It costed my dad not being embarrassed to look like an idiot in front of people. That's it. That's all it cost. Another thing that I remember that I started doing with my little girl now, great example. Like my parents would always tell me that Mickey Mouse was in the moon. And I'm telling you guys, if you what you look for, you'll find. So they're smart. They didn't even know. They were using the power of my brain against me. They were, if you look at the moon and you, you, you imagine Mickey Mouse in it, you'll see him. It literally looks like a shadow of Mickey Mouse in the moon. And so they used to tell me that all the time that Mickey Mouse was up there.

If you look for it, you'll find it.

Yeah. And so as a kid I grew up thinking that Mickey Mouse was on the moon, bro. Like it's literally what I thought.

That's amazing.

So then the other day I remembered about it and like 3 months ago I was outside with the goose and we were in the backyard and she was like, oh papa, look, the moon. I was like, ah. I was like, baby, look, Mickey Mouse is in there. Can you see him? And she was like where? I was like look, you can see the shadow. It looks like. It looks like Mickey Mouse.

There's an ear. There's an ear. Yeah.

And then she was like, oh, Papa.

There he is. There he is. That's so awesome.

That's a moment, man.

That's a gift, Frank. Those are such amazing examples. And. And that's exactly what this episode is all about, is it's. It's not like. I mean, if. If traveling is your thing, you have the means to do it, then by all means. Yeah.

Great.

But Frank makes such great points that literally moments and experiences can be at the grocery store.

Yeah.

Can be in the backyard. My dad was telling me a story, like one of the. My mom. I was young. I don't remember this, but I'm sure it happened. But we. We. We lived in West Texas for a couple of years in my life when I was young, like fourth, fifth grade or something. And my mom loved to go to this. This area with. It was like. It was called, like, Buffalo Gap. It was near Abilene. And anyway, like, she wanted to go. My dad didn't want to go, I didn't want to go. My brother didn't want to go, but we all went. Yeah. And this is my dad telling me, and apparently, I guess I laid down and, like, made a snow angel in the leaves. And even back then. I know it's ancient, but even back then, my mom got a photo of it. Yeah. And. Which is pretty crazy. And. And he said that was, like, one of her best memories of, you know, so for. For her. Because the three men that didn't want to go went.

Yeah.

And did something that she wanted to do.

Bro. It's just.

It's just that that was a moment. And, you know, my mom's not around anymore, so to hear that, like, you can imagine how it makes me feel. Yeah. And so, like, moments and experiences are priceless.

Yes.

They are priceless. And. And. And they don't cost anything. Yeah.

And they can happen anywhere at any given moment.

I hope if you take nothing else away from this episode, just know that you have the ability to create moments. And you may not see your. Your kids as. As often as you want, and that sucks. But it's reality.

Yeah.

But when you do see them.

Yeah.

Always know that every moment, every second, minute, hour. Yeah. You can be making moments and experiences with them that may last a lifetime. Exactly. That is what it's all about at.

The end of the day. That's what it's all about, man. It's. It's getting outside of ourselves, bro. And being like, I don't need my kid to make me happy. That's so selfish of me, man. That's such a. That's such a heavy weight for my kid to carry. So I'm going to choose to be happy. And in that happy, playful state, I'm a smack a machine and tell it to spit it out. In that happy, playful state, it naturally comes out to say, look, Mickey Mouse is in the moon. Like, parents didn't have to try and do those things. It was when they were in good places that they did those things naturally. And if you're listening to this, you're a fun dad, you're a fun mom. You're just letting the stresses of everything dim your light, man. And stop letting it do that when you're with your kid. Choose, man. What am I gonna bring to the table?

You have the choice.

Yeah.

And we are encouraging you. And that's our job is to. That's why we started this podcast, is to encourage and help. And for those of you are. That are struggling with maybe depression or going through custody battles, you know, there are certain things you can't change. Right, we know that. But the things that you can't. That you do have control over are the things that we've talked about today.

Yeah.

So I hope that whoever listens to this takes taste, gets the takeaways.

Yeah.

And. And can maybe de. Stress some of the things that they can't control and just put more focus on the things that they can. Yes. And those are the moments you have when you're with your kids. And even if it's a day, a week, half a day, a week, supervised or not, you can make experiences and make moments. And with technology, with these little things, you can actually capture them and you can watch them over and over when they're not around.

Exactly. Exactly, man. Hopefully this encouraged you. If you're feeling down right now, hopefully it really lifted you up and it drives you to say, you know what? I might not see my kid for the next two days, but that gives me time to plan something fun that is going to cost no money and gives you time to just kind of sit back and think about, how do I want to show up with my kid, what father do I want to be, what example do I want to leave, what experience do I want to create? And you go out and you create it, man, because you. You deserve that. So.

And if you. And if you have time and you want more encouragement, don't forget we have live support groups every Monday night. Yeah, and if you want details, DM us, if you don't already have them download our app. And we'll be happy to get you involved in that if you're not already. But Monday nights at 9 o' clock Central Standard Time. And those, those support groups, every single person that that shows up to them always leaves a happier person without a shadow of a doubt.

Love that. That's the point of them.

Thanks for tuning in, guys. We'll see you next.