Why is "ME TIME" Important - Feat Special Guest

Hey, you're listening to the Single Dads podcast, a podcast for single dads by single dads. In this podcast, you're going to be encouraged and hopefully given some practical tools to be able to become the parent that you've always wanted to be and that you know you can be. Hopefully, this podcast encourages you. Make sure that you download the Single Dads podcast app to join our community. Hope you enjoy the show.

What's up?

What's up, single dads? How are y' all doing?

Hope everybody is having a great, great time.

Man.

Man. Today we've got a cool episode. We got one of our supporters.

One of our own.

Yes, one of our own. And he's actually a part of the single dad support group. So if you ever want to hang out with him, hang out with him on Monday nights in our support group. He's an awesome dude. He's got a phenomenal story and honestly, a really cool, unique story as far as to how you even came to listen to the podcast, bro.

Yeah. Tyler Martin is. Is. Has a really neat story about how he found us, which is one. One of the handful of reasons we wanted to have him on. And because it really ties in with kind of what we want to talk about today, which is if we were going to throw a title on it, it would be, like, me time and making sure that, you know, we're all taking care of ourselves and doing things that are therapeutic and. But Tyler has a really cool backstory how he found us. He is a very, very active member in the Single Dads podcast community. He's active on our app. He is on our live support group. His face is there every Monday night, and it's a pleasure to have you on. Tyler.

What's up, guys? Thank you for having me on. This is really exciting. It's actually really cool because this app's really, really helped me since found out about you guys and just really excited to be on, so looking forward to it.

Yeah, bro.

Tell us a little bit, a little bit about kind of the backstory as to how you discovered our podcast, first and foremost.

Yeah. So, you know, I have a son and me and my ex split up about April. April of 2020. And I was. I was a 247 dad up to that point. And I just could not get used to being an eight time, eight days a day dad. And I really needed to get out of the house. Like, that was just, like, it really messed with me.

And I was one. I get it.

And so, like, I. Golf is something I've always Been able to do and golf, something that I've done my whole life. And that's how I found out about you guys. I went to the golf course just by myself. I was living in Columbus, Ohio at the time and went to Dublin Golf Club. Never forget it. And I was a single. And I don't know if you guys played golf or, you know, you go up there and you get paired with somebody. And I got paired with another individual and just met him that day, and we went out to the course and you get to talking to somebody on golf and you get to, you know, talk about who you are, where you're from, blah, blah, blah. And you get stuck with a stranger.

You have to talk to him. Right?

Yeah. You got started with the parent. Like, it was. It was great because we were both walking and like, we were both walking, so he wasn't riding. Yeah. So that even made it better. But he was an older. A little bit older guy. But we got to talking and told him my story about just being separated and around my son. And he's like, you should listen to the Single Dad's podcast. I was like, never heard of it. And he pulled it out, and as we were trotting down the fairway hitting our ball the wrong direction, we were listening to you guys.

That's how it goes, man.

Yes, unfortunately. Unfortunately, yes. But we listen to you guys.

Like Frank's game.

He gave me a quick 10 minute snippet of, like, just your first podcast. And like, you're the first one because it was on Father's Day and I remember that. And I was just like, all right, I'm sold. So basically from hole, I'll Never forget hole seven tee box to the 19th hole. Little afterwards.

I love the 19th hole.

Love the 19th hole. And we were. We were listening to Single Dad's podcast the whole time. So that's how I found you guys. And me being a caddy, so freaking cool. My bags for my caddy. Me being a caddy. There's a lot of other caddies out there that are single dads as well, so. I know. Scott, I was mentioning this to you in the. In the Monday meetings, in the group. Group community.

Yeah.

But we have a text thread of about 20, 25 guys that just listened to your guys show. And we're like, hey, tonight. It's almost like the girls version of Bachelor. And it's like, it's.

It's.

It's like it's on Monday, right? And it's like, it's like, all right, we're so pumped. Here we go. Monday, you know, the Mondays is the group meetings and stuff. I'm on there, and those guys get on there, and they just kind of live through me through that on there and really getting them. I think here in the next couple of weeks, you'll start seeing more of these caddies on here to kind of talk about it and kind of get on there.

Awesome.

But then when the episodes drop, we're all just kind of listening, like, oh, this is so true. Oh, my God, it's so relatable. So it's really cool. You guys have really. You guys really turned my life around and really helped me in a difficult period of time.

Man. Amazing to hear, man.

Yeah. That's powerful, brother. I love how you were just out there focusing on you wanting to do just a little bit of your thing to kind of, like, relieve some stress and anxiety, because we all got to have those things. We got to have those outlets. It is an extremely healthy thing to do. You know, anybody who's listening to the show right now, they know I talk a lot about jiu jitsu. Like, that is probably my main source of outlet. And I love that you were doing that. And it's so wild, man, how everything works out that as you were doing that, some dude that you have no idea who he is. I'll be honest, man. There's some weird people on singles. I mean, there's. There's a reason why they're going alone half the time, you know? And so I've run into some people where I'm like, I do not want to talk to you anymore, man. I'm sorry. Like, no, no foul against you, but. And so the fact that you guys got paired up and y' all had that connection, and y' all had something that y' all could relate on, and then that our podcast came about, like, that's. That's pretty. Pretty freaking wild, man.

It was. And especially you guys being so new, too. I mean, like, you guys weren't heard of there, and I was like, he was an instant subscriber and, like, there, and he'd, like, just instantly turn me on. And it was just like. It's just resonated so much. That's what I needed to hear, and it really, really, really helped out. So that was so.

So, yeah, we then learn, you know, in conversation, like, what. So, like, what do you do? You're caddy. And we also learned that you're involved with, you know, I build apps, and then got into a conversation that he's involved with this app called Golf, the Golf Live app. And that's right, correct. And so tell us a little bit about that. And then I was, I told Frank and I was like, dude, we got to try this thing out. So tell us a little bit about it real quick. And so that way our story makes sense. We tell it well.

The first thing that brought me to it was obviously being golf. But the second thing too is being, being a single dad and stuff. And it gave me time. The Golf Live, what it does is you don't have to. It's. It's virtual lessons online and they're with live instructors, PGA certified instructors. And you get that feedback immediately and you don't have to commit. If you ever gone up to the course to try to get lessons, you have to commit to a 30 minute hour, hour and a half, even lesson time. And you're paying for that. And you just can't boogie out after 10 minutes, 15 minutes. What this really drawn to me is you get that, but you can only be there for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes. Whether you're busy through your day with your kids, you got 10, 15 minutes after you just laid them down, you got 10, 15 minutes in between lunch, whatever it is, you can get on there. And you can get a app through a PGA certified instructor because we got instructors, 125 instructors all over the world from Scotland. You could be in your house in Dallas or in Michigan and get a lesson from someone in Scotland that is so cool. For only your 10 or 15 minutes and you can get someone up there. I mean that is just, it's mind blowing. So that's what it was on there. And I could really nerd it, nerd you out with some of the specifics here.

But, but yeah, that, that's, that's enough. That was enough to, to say, wow, I want to try this. And I personally, I'm. For me, golf is, is my outlet golf and working out. And you know, I, there was a point in time when I got to get out on the golf course two or three times a week. Then that kind of transitioned to topgolf. But where. Which was more realistic as far as from, from a time perspective. And you know, it's, it's just for me it's, it's therapeutic. And that's why I so much. So like, I don't want to like be a Debbie Downer here, but I actually found out that someone or just found out earlier today, someone I know this is an anniversary of the day he lost his Brother. And that reminded me of the day I lost my wife. And, you know, she passed away in my house. And I. And I think I even mentioned this on an episode before Frank, but. But literally, like, I. My son was taken care of and we had cried together. And once that happened, like, I. I literally bolted and went. Where did I go? I went straight to topgolf and started hitting golf balls. And. Because that's. It's. That it's a. It's an outlet. And so I'm not saying for, you know, but you don't have to lose someone to go hit golf balls, but for all of us single dads who have. And this is another reason why I wanted to see what this. The app is all about, because I know what an outlet. You know, what an outlet golf is for me. And by taking a lesson, I was able to, like, you know, never having taken one before. And. And Frank and I did it together with the. With the same instructor and who was really awesome, by the way. Yeah, his name was Sean. And not that that's relevant, but I, you know, I've been having trouble with my irons, so I wanted to, like, get some advice on my, you know, swinging and, um, literally gave me some advice that, like, totally, like in 15, literally in 15 minutes, changed the way I swung my irons, which changed my game and improved it with. With such a short lesson. So it's. It was awesome. It's cool. I mean, it's literally one of the coolest apps. And I can. I can see this being, like, the way things are moving as far as, you know, and then I started thinking of all these other things, like, you know, like my. My son. Or maybe, you know, maybe your. Your kids, like, why would they.

Take.

Or not take a golf lesson? Because they. One, it takes time. Two, it's expensive. Three, you know, there's sometimes the fear of letting your parents down because I've had that issue with my son and so on without getting too much into it. But, you know, there. You know, there's so many reasons, like, why something like this being, like, a virtual lesson that you could do at your house, you don't have to, like, you know, put on, you know, golf shoes and golf shirt and go out to an instructor who may, you know, some people may not like the fact that they invade their private space or things like that. There's so many variables that doesn't.

That doesn't give. If you're listening to this episode and you. Do you download this app that doesn't give you the right to do a lesson in your underwear. Okay. Just because you got the freedom to do it, don't freaking do it.

I mean, we do blur out stuff, but there is a point where you can't cross the line.

Absolutely.

That's for sure.

But anyway, I'm probably going off on a tangent. I just thought of, like, I just thought this app was so cool, and it just made me think of so many variables that come into play that potentially prevents, you know, people in general. You know, a lot of people don't like going out and shaking balls in front of a bunch of people. So, you know, being able to learn one of the most difficult games in the world, but fun and challenging and something you can never master but always get better, that's what's. So that's why it's such a great outlet and fun, because you can always improve and. And when you kind of, you know, relate that to your life, which is something I do, I'm always trying to improve. And so. But you know, Frank, who is. I make fun of him because when we play golf on. He gets on the tee box, whether It's a par 5 or par, par 4, doesn't matter. He does not hit a driver. So tell us about your experience, Frank.

Yeah, I'm just strictly iron man, but it was really cool trying this thing out, man. And honestly, like, Tyler, I love that you're doing it, and I love that it all stems around, like, what you love to do. That is your outlet, right? That is your me time. And I think that's what I love the most about it. Because if I'm being honest, like, I really do like golf. I know I love and adore and worship jiu jitsu, right? But I really like golf because it's such a gentleman's sport, and it's something that, you know, whenever you get to 80 years old, you can still do it. Like, you can still have a blast doing it. And so creating that me time is so key for me specifically. And so I try and do golf, but I stop so often because I get frustrated. And what I loved about the app, honestly, was that, um, it was. It was so. So efficient and so easy to create that space is what I realized. Like, literally, we. We were inside working, and then we booked, like, a meeting, and we went right outside. Scott got his golf clubs, and we were able to do spend 15 minutes with this instructor, and even him just changing my grip, changing my stance a little bit and teaching me how to rotate, and then seeing my swing and making me make some adjustments. My swing started feeling.

He.

He tailored it to me because just of the way that my body is and the way that I move. And it was so cool because I was like, dude, it can get very addicting to know that. Dude, you know what? Especially for somebody that loves golf or that really wants to learn, golf can be very addicting to where it's like, man, I got some time real quick. I'm gonna go have some me time. I'm gonna make some time for myself real quick, and I'm gonna go invest into myself. And I mean, bro, like, get yourself a little net or something and smack the crap out of a ball. If you're having a hard day, it. By the end of smacking, like, 20 balls, you're going to feel pretty darn good.

Stress reliever.

I actually ordered one of those nets and a little thing that you can tee off from on Amazon yesterday, and it's supposed to be here before I leave town. It freaking better. But I think I spent a total of like 42 bucks for the whole setup. So now I can literally smack smack balls at my house and.

God, that sounds so bad.

The cool thing about smack balls at my house.

When you're. When you're with that instructor, the cool thing about it is your lesson doesn't end after you're hang up and you're hanging up with him. Like, because you'll be on that app and the instructor, you can still communicate with him on the notes section, and you guys can still communicate not and talking about your swing because your swing is literally recorded. So he can literally get on there and verbally and visually learn your golf swing. And he can replay it to you time and time after again of what he's wanting you to try to do. That's the cool thing about it. Your lesson's still ongoing, even though you're technically done swinging in front of him.

That's it.

Hey, I got a question real quick. Just because I'm gonna. I'm about to leave town to go to Cabo and play golf is what I'm doing. I think the second day, I'm there on this amazing course, and I'm gonna get a couple lessons in. I might even get one in Mexico, to be honest.

Yeah.

Because I don't want to. I don't. I mean, I've never played it on a course this nice, and I don't want to be a total hack, but, like, the guy that I had, Sean. Sean was his name. But, like, is there a way I can get him as an instructor again. Or so, like, we can pick up where we left off or like, how. How. How does that work? Or does.

Yeah, so you can go in the app. So, like, the app, you'll log back in, say you just got done with your lesson and you just logged back in. It'll tell you who gave an app and then you can go on there and it'll literally say, book another one. Which you said Sean. Correct? Sean.

Yeah.

Yeah, you can book another lesson with Sean. It'll show you who you had and his schedule. Or you can communicate with him on that note section I was talking about, and you can literally just ask him, hey, when are you available again? I want another quick lesson or I want another hour lesson, 30 minute lesson, whatever you want. And he can confirm it with you right there. That's simple as that. Yeah.

Sick.

Yeah, it's really cool. I've gotten really behind it. The.

Is there anything else that you wanted to say in regards to your lesson, Frank?

No, man, it was. It was incredible. It was a. It was an incredible experience.

Are you going to use a driver now?

Yeah, more than likely. Honestly, I'm gonna go to topgolf and start testing it out over there. But, yeah, no, I just. I just love the. How practical it was for anyone who feels like they have hard time creating their own time to spend with themselves. It's, man, it's. I mean, bro, what you're doing is incredible because it's going to be a great tool for a bunch of single dads that want to use it and that are interested in that because you can create your me time without having to take an hour, an hour and a half, two hours. Right. And so I love, I love, I love, I love what you're doing, man. I love your story. I love how it brought you here. I love the passion that you have for what you do and why you do it. And I just think it's incredible, honestly. And I. Honestly, this is what the single Dads podcast is all about, too. Like. Like, Tyler has an incredible story, not just with what he's doing business wise. Right. But just in his own life. And I know one of the things that I got that I've actually now implemented to be part of my me time personally, bro, is, I believe it was you. Is the exercise where you write to your kids when they're not with you.

Yeah, I write to my son. My dad did that. And I'm reading them back now as I get older. And you see the lessons that your father taught you from an early age back in 1994. And I'm still reading them and he's still connecting with me because I'm applying that same lesson to my son now. And it was just a simple of, hey, son, you know, I yelled at you today. I felt awful for it. I'll never forget. But you were told not to have a cookie. But just simple stuff like that, it's really. It's really good.

Yeah, man.

Simple stuff like that, that's.

That's.

That's powerful. Yeah, that's powerful, man. And he brought that up. And he brought that up in a. One of our support. Live support groups. And it just, you know, out of nowhere and it helped. It. It helps a couple of people. It was just super powerful. And I think we even talked about it in one of our episodes. So Tyler's brought. I mean, you've. You've brought a lot to the community and that's why I wanted to bring you on and kind of share a little bit of everything about you. You're a great guy. We really appreciate everything that you bring to the community and you've helped it grow and to ironically, what you do for a living. I wish I could do that for a living. So whoever your boss is telling, I'm available for h. A few things about golf and apps and stuff like that. So.

But.

But the whole, the whole purpose and to tie this episode up is, is guys that everyone has to have something that they do that is an outlet. Um, otherwise you will combust.

You.

You know, some people, you know, work out. Like I. I just now gotten on a new healthy eating kick and I'm using this meal prep thing and I'm doing a different kind of workout that I haven't done in the past. And, and golf and finding this app is something that I will actually use because like I said, I'd never taken a lesson before. But, so, but whatever your me time is, if you can't answer that question, if asked, hey, what do you do for your me time? You need to be able to answer it and you need to be able to say, I do this. And if you say I don't and your excuse is, well, I don't have time for me, I call BS because there are things just like this app which allows you to do it on demand. And there are other things out there like that. But I thought. We thought this would be a great example of, um. Because most, most guys like golf and those that don't play, I think don't are either in that one percentile that just don't have interest in one of the coolest sports ever. Or they're. They just never picked it up. But no pun intended. And this is a great way to pick the game up without, you know, being embarrassed or, you know, not having to spend a crap, crap ton of money on, you know, lessons and driving out to wherever, depending on if you know where, where you live or, or whatever. So we're, we're going to, Frank and I are going to post a reel. So keep an eye out on our Instagram. We're going to post a gift certificate with a code for those that want to check this app out and try it. And we're even going to post some footage of Frank and I taking lessons and seeing Frank swing a driver for the first time ever, which is kind of funny. I'm kidding, buddy. I'm just giving you our time. But Tyler, thank you so much, man, for coming on the show and we really appreciate it. And all you single dads out there, don't forget Sunday is Father's Day and also our one year anniversary and we're pretty stoked about that. So we will be pushing another episode out on Sunday for you guys. So check it out. And in our app on Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts.