Why Suppressing Emotions is Not Strength: A Wake-Up Call for Single Dads

Welcome back, single dads. Got another episode for you this week. Man, it's been so, so good just being back, getting back into the rhythm of things with this podcast today. Today, we want to dump. Jump Straight. Dump. We want to jump straight in. Yeah, we want to jump straight into today's topic because I think it's. It's incredibly crucial, and I know that it's super relatable for every single person. And what I was telling Scott is that something that we. We need to become more aware of is the simple fact that we're walking around day after day. And maybe if you're listening to this, you can. You can relate. We're just walking around in a daze. You're walking around kind of numb. You don't really remember the last time you got as excited as you want to get to. You don't really, really remember the last time you felt joy. Like, you. Like, you want to feel it. And we're almost at the point where it's like, we're not even sad. It's just like we're numb. And that's a scary, scary, scary place to be, because that means that we're walking around as zombies. And it's. I think it's so crucial that we recognize that, man, I'm here, but what am I going to do with it? I want to stay here. And I think it's crucial that we start talking about what it would look like to actually check in on ourselves. You know what I'm saying, Scott?

Absolutely. And I think it's interesting just because this past week, like.

I had.

I had a conversation with literally the only member of my family, my brother, whom I haven't had a relationship with and a good relationship with anyway, and really ever. I mean, on. On and off. But. But the irony is, is I don't know anybody in this plant, on this planet better than he, and he doesn't know anybody better than me.

Yeah.

And. But in conversating with him over the phone, he opened my eyes to a lot of things. And some of those things were, like, the fact that I have not put myself in check in a lot of ways, emotionally, when it. When it comes, really, when it comes to, like, things from that. That have happened in the past. And I think for those of us who are able to block things out and just kind of bury them somewhere, they still exist within us.

Exactly.

And. And they're there, and they have an effect on us. And sometimes when we don't realize that why we're feeling numb or walking around as you said like a zombie or just not happy, maybe not depressed, but just kind of blah. You know, it, it very well could be the fact that it's, it's things that we haven't addressed that, that are living within us, that, that are just, you know, we, we haven't let them out. And when I say let them out, I don't mean just cry for an hour. I mean, maybe that could be one way. But, but, but talking about those things and, or just remembering them and, and whether you journal or talk to a, a family member like I did, or talk to a friend that you're close with or whatever, your significant other, if you have one, or, you know, there's but, or just, you know, had you say, put yourself in check and think about like, what, what, what, what's my purpose and what, what, what's preventing me from. Doing, you know, feeling and, and why am I not. Because as we always say, we said this in so many episodes, if we're not our best selves, then how are we going to be the best parent? The best parent or the best friend or the best boyfriend or husband or whatever. You know, it's like, it's like if you're not your best self, you're, you're, you're. Anybody in your life is not getting the best Frank or the best Scott, you know?

Exactly. Including ourselves.

Yes. 100.

I think, I think that's the biggest thing. It's like, sure, I wanna, I wanna be a good dad, man. I really do. And I wanna be a great son. But more than that, like, man, I just want to be great for me too because I have to live with me every single day. And that's something that hit me this week, man. It really did because I was feeling off and I, I couldn't get my, I couldn't exactly get like my finger on it. I was like, what exactly is going on? And then I did one of my exercises that, that I like, I love to do. And I, I figured out what was the story that was playing in my head that was causing so much fear in me that was making me sedate. Right? And once I started addressing that and then I started seeing the situation as it is, and then I started seeing what the feelings that I was feeling towards that situation. And then I figured out the story that I was telling myself. I was creating those feelings, then I was able to challenge it and it made me feel so much different. It's like you said, like, I mean, if you want to sit there and you want to Cry for an hour. You can cry for an hour, but guess what? You're probably gonna have to cry for an hour again because it went unaddressed. It went unaddressed. Like, so often we go through things, man, and life is tough. Like, if. If anybody here listening to this, if you think that there's like a. A fairy tale formula to where you never experience pain again and you'll. You'll never have to do any work ever again for the rest of your life, you better unsubscribe real quick, because we talk about real things here, and that's not real. There are tools that help you effectively overcome. And I do believe that, you know, that we don't have to have bad days, we can have bad moments, but that's up to us. We have to utilize the effective tools that we choose to subscribe to, right? And I think that if we just sit there and feel emotions, and this is something that, you know, I've. I've had quite a bit of therapist on, on the Conquerors podcast and also on my lives on Instagram, and something that I always kind of go a little back and forth with them about is I just don't like this whole, like, feel your feelings. And, you know, if you gotta. If you gotta feel them for a week, feel them for a week. And I'm like, I just, I. I just don't believe in that. I'm sorry. Like, I think that if you. If you uncover the story scientifically, it's proven that we only experience an emotion like pain for 90 seconds after that. I know people don't believe that right now, but after that, we're the ones that are creating it. So it's like you're telling people to experience something for a week, and essentially you're telling them, hey, allow yourself to keep creating that pain and suffering for a week. I'm like, we don't have to. We don't have to do that, but we got to utilize the tools. And my biggest thing is, as single dads, are we checking in on ourselves? Like, if you're feeling numb right now, are you checking in on yourself? Okay, why is it that I'm feeling numb? I need to get to the grassroot of it. What is it that I'm. That I'm so scared of that I'm trying to avoid it? And that's why eventually it's led me to, like, a feeling of numbness and just recognize that it's not true. It's not even true. It's just a story that we're telling.

Ourselves that's, that's the thing that I wanted to bring up was like, can you look yourself in the mirror and say, I'm being honest with myself? Can you say, like, all right, man, I'm, I'm going to look in the mirror and say, I'm doing everything to the best of my ability. I am working on self improvement on a daily basis. Oh, really? How are you doing that, Scott? What are you doing? Call myself out? Well, I, I read a book. A big deal. I mean, yeah, everybody reads books, everybody reads articles, everybody. You know, we can learn something from listening to a podcast, but what are you doing to make yourself better? Like, you know, what are you implementing? What are you doing after you read the book? What are you doing after you listen to the podcast? What actions. What, what actionables are you, are you taking, if any.

Yeah, if the character didn't change or if the book didn't change any character, did you even read it then?

Exactly. I mean, the, you know, so I think there's a lot of liars out there.

I, I, I, I've been one for a long time.

I know, I know, I know. I'm one of them. And it's, it's difficult to say, yeah, I, I lie to myself, but I know I do. And it's, it's not easy to admit that either. But.

But there's freedom in it.

Like, there's, there's free, there's freedom because it's the, it's a start. It's, it's a, you, you have to start somewhere. And by saying, all right, I'm a lazy pos because I should work out every single freaking day or at least five days a week, but I don't. So there's one thing that I lie to myself about. Well, I, I did 200 push ups. Well, that's not a workout, dude. Come on. And, you know, it's like, that's, that's where you have to start. And by being vulnerable and with yourself, which is kind of an odd thing to say. I don't even know if, is that an oxymoron, but it should be an.

Oxymoron, but it's not, because we're not vulnerable with ourselves.

Well, I, being, being vulnerable, period is difficult. And to do it to however many people listen to this is not easy either. But it's the truth. And, you know, until you're able to, I mean, if you want to keep lying to yourself, keep lying to yourself, you're never gonna, you're Never gonna get better. Like, you're never gonna improve. And I can assure you this, if I'm, that I have, I have figured one thing. Like when you, when you walk around like, and you're trying to pinpoint, like, why am I feeling this way? I want to feel better about myself or I want to feel better in general. Maybe it's because I'm, I'm single and I don't have a significant other because that's just, that's an excuse that, that someone could lean on or, or, or oh, well, I'm tired all the time because I have to work two jobs. You're just not strategizing and you're not being as efficient as you could.

And what are you putting into your body that's not producing the energy that you want?

Exactly. A number of, a number of things.

And by the way, I want people to know we're not saying that we're perfect on these areas, by the way.

No, in fact, in fact, I'm saying all the, I'm talking about myself right now.

Same.

So let, yeah, let that, let that be known. I am talking about me, myself, Scott Fisher. And I, I, I, I suck at a lot of things. And I can sit here and tell everybody that I suck at this, that and the other. And I could do better at self improvement. I could do better at being honest and look at myself in the mirror and. But what am I going to do after I look myself in the mirror and call myself a liar? Am I going to do what's the actionable? Am I going to continue to lie? Am I going to continue to just accept being a liar? Or am I going to say, you know what, that I'm not going to lie to myself anymore. I'm going to start actually working out five days a week. I'm going to. Get to the core and figure out like, what makes you as a person feel better. I know what makes me feel better. And it's, it's one thing is helping others. And one thing I think I do sometimes is I help others to get that feel good to get that dopamine from, rather than helping myself. And I should, it's not, it's not selfish to want to help yourself because at the end of the day I think I could be better at helping others if I helped myself first in certain areas. And I'm actually just realizing this as I'm saying it, being completely transparent.

So. No, it's, it's bro, that's a, that's 100 true. And yeah, we Overlooked that. And then we take it to the extreme, too. That's also the problem. We end up taking it to the extreme where it's like, okay, it's me season. And so then it's only me season. And then people wonder why they're miserable. Well, it's because it's you season. Everything's about you. Everything's about you. And so now, now you're hyper alert of who's not texting you. And so now you're like, oh, that person doesn't care and desperate. And now it's like, what you're looking for, you're finding. Because it's me season. We take it to the extreme. When I believe that me season is bright and early or dark and early, because that's where you're uninterrupted, man. And it can also be at different times of the day, right? Like, I got. I got my own time where I like, I love to smoke my cigar. It's like some. I was speaking to another coach the other day and she was like, she was like, what is it about you and cigars? Like, what is that? I was like, you want to know what this cigar means to me? What it is? I was telling her, I was like, this is where I have to slow down. The thing about a cigar is you can't just say, I'm gonna smoke a cigar, have 30 minutes and go and try and puff one out. Boom. It's not a smoke break. You have to actually take some time. You have to like dedicate an hour to an hour and a half to fully smoke that entire cigar so you can have the full experience. So I was like, for a tangible thing that I use to slow down time because otherwise I know I won't. And it's. And then I use it to meditate and I use it to talk to the Lord and I use it to check in on myself. Hey, why am I feeling the way that I'm feeling right now? What's causing this? What, what, what, what fact in my life is causing this feeling right now? So, like, this morning I addressed like the. The fact that my parents, man, it's like my parents is taking a huge toll on me because they're not happy in their marriage and because they're not happy individually. And it's because, if I'm being honest, they made us their purpose. That's it. So they don't have a purpose right now because we're grown ups that we got our own purpose. And they're like, well, we got no more Basketball games to take them to. That was our purpose. And I'm like, it's. It's really. It's really sad. And. And also, like, I had this story in my. Again, this. I had this story in my head that they didn't prepare themselves for retirement. But at the same time, they came here when they were, like, not young and didn't have papers for lord knows how long. So it's not like they could just build up their 401k like everybody does, right? It's completely different. And so I had the story that they're not preparing themselves. Those are sexy glasses, bro. Keep them on, man. Keep them on. I'm like.

And kind of have to.

And what that did to me, brother, is that story of how they're not preparing themselves for, like, retirement. It added this weight on me. I took it on like, this is my responsibility. And. And then I go through my process where I change the story to where it can help me get to the results I want to get to and to feel better. So now it's like, instead of feeling fear and it crippling me, I take fear and I leverage it so that I'm. It's risk, it's resourceful now. And I changed the story to no. They actually were investing into their retirement by investing so much into me and my brother. I am the best investment they could have ever made. I am better than any 401k they could have ever invested into. I am better into than any other retirement strategy that they could ever have invested into. Because I will guarantee a damn return. I will. I will. And when I started changing the story, I mean, I started feeling different. And then it was the plan of action, right? I call it fight. So my process goes, facts. What are the facts? Feelings. What am I feeling about the facts? Focus. What story am I focusing on that's creating those feelings? And how do I change my focus to feel the way I want to and then fight my fight plan, right? And so it's so true, bro. Like, we have these. All these situations that start coming at us, and what are we doing with them? Are we checking in or are you lighting that cigar so you can be like, huh, Can I be vulnerable with myself right now? Because, I mean, you know this, bro. Like, if. If we're not vulnerable with ourselves, then it's kind of hypocrisy to expect somebody else to be vulnerable and to listen to us. If we don't give ourselves 15 minutes, we don't give our own ear to ourselves for 15 minutes. Our own honesty, then how can we ever expect somebody else to do the same for us? It's hypocrisy.

Do you. Do you. Do you ever do that? Do you ever.

Expect.

Other people to give you their time when you don't give it to yourself?

Yeah, I did. I did for a long time. Because I think we all want to be heard. I think we all want to feel loved. I think we all want to feel cared for. And so we. Like, for me, I always looked for that in. In so many other people. Whether that was friendships, whether that was pastors, whether that was intimate relationships. Like, I always looked for that in. In those people. And then I started recognizing, like, dude, I don't even listen to me, man. Like, I'm not even on. I'm lying to these people and I'm ruining relationships because I'm lying. But I'm not even honest with myself yet. How am I supposed to be honest with them? And then that story starts going on in my head, bro. If you can't even be honest with you and you won't even accept your own truth, why would they accept your own truth? And then you can take that and be sadistic with it. Like, I was where it's like, well, see, this is why no one loves me, because no one's going to want to hear my truth. But the only reason I felt that and I had that mindset in that story was because I wouldn't even hear my truth as soon as I started to love, like, the darkness in me, the dark parts of me, as much as I love the light parts. Because I hated myself, bro. Because I. I had to fix myself. I had to change this about me. I didn't like this part about me. So therefore, it's like, I was always, like, critiquing myself. And if you're always critiquing yourself, it's really hard. It's really hard to be in a relationship with someone if they're constantly critiquing you. Like, constantly, man. You're such a great dude. But there's this one part. If you could just fix this, then, yeah, I think you'd be an even better dude. You always feel like not enough then. So I was creating those feelings of not enoughness within myself. It wasn't other people doing it. I just thought it was enoughness.

I like that.

Yeah, I made that up. You see what I mean, though, bro? Like, I think we need this as men. We need to be able to have this type of dialogue, like a brotherhood, like a community and that's what the only dads is for, right? Where it's like, you come in honest. You can come in and be honest and be like, hey, dude, you know what? Like, this is what I'm going through, and this is genuinely how I feel about it. It's not that. It's not that. My, like, Jonathan asked me one day. He was like, well, what do you think is your biggest setback right now in your business? I said, me, bro, Me. It's me. It's me. It's not my marketing, it's not my sales, is not my messaging. It's not my attention, it's not my strategy. All of that stuff golden. And I know that it is. It's me is me. It's me. It's me. It's me. That's it for so many of us, we think, man, because if. If. If I'm good, marketing will be phenomenal. If I'm good, sales will be phenomenal. If I'm good, coaching will be phenomenal. Everything will be phenomenal if I'm good. But I'm getting in my own way with this. And that's the part that I was telling you earlier. Parts of me have to diet. They have to die. Because right now I'm operating as a hustler, and I can't be a hustler and a CEO. I gotta pick one. I gotta pick one. I either got cash in the duffel bag where the government can't tax it, or I'm a CEO And I know exactly how many taxes. I know exactly how to spend the money so that I don't have to pay taxes. I know exactly how much profits coming in. I know my P. Ls, I know all of it. I can't be. I can't be the hustler, though. I can't have that hustler mindset and operate as a CEO.

That is correct. Interesting to hear that out of your. Come out of your mouth, man.

I'm telling you, bro, I've been. I've been through a past couple weeks. I don't say a lot, but that's because it's all happening here. Like, I'm like, okay, where am I at? Where am I really at? Where am I really at as a dad? Where am I really. Am I really failing as a father or am I doing my part actually that. The same parent, parenting, guilt. It's like, okay, we're really failing. We're really this. Or do I really think I'm a great father? But if I asked my Daughter, what would her opinion be if I rated myself from 1 to 10, and I rated myself as a 10 as a dad, and I asked my little girl, what would her honest opinion be?

Her opinion now is probably going to be a 10, and when she's 14 through 17, it's probably going to be a 2. And when she's 19 or 20 or when she's becomes an adult, it'll be a 10 again. And that's just. And. And. And that. That may not be the case at all.

She.

You may be a 10 the. The entire time, or she might be.

Like me, and she might be very honest. Bro, did I tell you about this with my dad? My dad asked me that. He asked me what I would rate him. I gave him a. Yeah.

Yeah, you did?

Yeah, I gave him a seven. I was honest.

Yeah.

And I told him because he was like, dang, okay. Then he was like, I don't know why I asked. And I was like, well, do you want to know why? He was like, well, why? I was like, I don't see you being happy. I don't see you doing anything to make yourself happy. Like, so then guess who carries the weight of your happiness, whether you want it or not? Me and my mom and my brother, because we just want to see our dad happy. Like, you don't lead us spiritually, man. You never lead us spiritually. Every time. Every time grace is said, when it's said, who has to say it? Dad? He was like, well, you do. Exactly. I do. I. I have to force you to read the Bible with me. It should be the other way around. You should be like, hey, everyone, come down here real quick. We're going to read the Word together. Lead us spiritually. I have to force you to go to church. Should be the other way around. Like, I'm. And I told him. I was like, I'm telling you this because I love you and because I want you to be a 10 for you. Not for me, for you. But I got to be honest with you. And I told him. I was like, I judged myself the exact same way, though. I judge myself the exact same way.

You know what's interesting is I. I was. I was thinking the other day, again, thinking, not saying. And I. I was like, you know, my. So I had. I had a chat with my son, and I was like, you know, he's. He's kind of grown up into a. A handsome young man. And like, like, you know, most teenagers, he went through his little awkward phase, but, you know, he's. He's gonna be 17 here in a few months and. Which is crazy to say out loud.

But.

But he, he has not like, you know, gotten into dating. And I, I know this to be true because just he and I that live here and I know where he is at all times and.

Well, you would know.

I would know. And I ask him and, but I, I've asked him a couple times. Like, you know, don't you. I mean, I know, I know he likes women. Yeah, this, this I know. I'm not gonna tell you why I know, but. I know, but.

Well, we did have that episode when he was like six or something. He had the little magazine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the old Victoria's Secret magazine. That's hilarious. But, but, yeah, but I, I started thinking like, he's only seen how like me in two relationships. And I mean, he doesn't, you know, know about any the, you know, short term things that never transpired into anything that, you know, that I, I, you know, I don't bring women into his life unless it was his mom and the only other like, long term relationship I've had. And I think he saw how miserable I was through that relationship and I just wonder if that's the reason, you know, like, he's, he, he's seen me lose. I mean, lose. He's seen the after effects of losing my wife when he was five. And then the only other time he seen me date someone and been like, you know, had a front row seat since we all lived together for a few years. You know, it was like, and he knew I was not happy and I didn't think about that at the time, but I know we heard, you know, I, you know, kids here, and we've talked about it so many times, right? How kids hear things when we don't realize it and they see things and observe things and he observes me being unhappy and he knows why. And I'm wondering like if, if I, if, if that has had an effect or an impact on whether or not he wants to like get, get involved or date or, And I, I hope not, but maybe I should have a chat with him about that. But at the end of the day, it's like I don't want to beat myself up for it, but it's, it is kind of my, it is my fault if I allowed him to see me unhappy for years. And you know, that's not a lesson. That's not something I want to look in the mirror and say, well, that's on me. Screwed up, dude.

Yeah, same, but, but it goes back to what you said earlier, though, man. First of all, bro, like, that's really honorable of you to be able to even just thinking of it that way, that shows, like, next level, like, empathy. And I think it goes back to what you said earlier where, I mean, I have to take of my. If I take care of myself first, I can take care of people better. Okay? If I create my own happiness, look at what your son will notice. Dad's happy. Like, trickle effect. Like, that's what I want for my little girl too, man. Which is why that hits so deep. Because when I had that conversation with my dad, that's when I made the decision that I was like, no, you know what? Like, I'm gonna pursue genuine happiness and fulfillment so that my little girl can always see me fulfilled. Doesn't mean that she won't see me struggle. Doesn't mean that she won't see frustration. But you'll always see this consistency of, like, wow, dad was just, like, happy with his life. He enjoyed his life. He enjoyed what he did. He enjoyed the people he was around, like, all these things. And he didn't need me to make him happy. Instead, he actually made me happy. Because right now, bro, like, I'll be honest, I don't feel that way with my parents. I'm sure that I don't feel that way with my parents. I'm 30 years old, bro. 30 years old. I don't. I do not feel that with my parents at one bit. I do not feel like I can let off the gas, unfortunately, because of them, because they need me. And I can feel that. I can feel that they need me. I ain't saying that's right. Not saying that's right at all, but I'm saying I can feel it. And I don't think any son should ever, ever carry that weight.

Not at your age or actually never. You're right.

So.

Just for the listeners that don't know you're living with your parents temporarily while your house is being built and which has been going on for since, like, June, a year or six months? Yeah, seems like a year, but so it's gonna be ready here before long. What. What.

Are you.

Are you gonna take any, like, guilt or responsibility with you when you move out?

No. I mean, probably honestly, something that I've done, honestly, that's just really helped me was I just started placing really healthy boundaries, whereas I don't need them to come and talk to me about their marriage at all. That just. That's just not my place. That's not my place. Like, I'm here to be your son, not your life coach, so you don't need to bring that stuff to me. And so when I started putting out those boundaries in, it's like it's alleviated a lot of it because now I'm not trying to. Because, I mean, here's. Here's the thing. It's like I work with people from across all. All over the world, and I helped them completely transform their lives. But then my family asked me for advice, and because it's coming from me and they've known me my entire life, it's like they just. They depreciate it so they don't do anything with it. And then they use me as like an emotional punching bag where they can just really let it all out and then be like, okay, give us some good advice that we'll never use. And I'm like, okay, we're not doing that anymore. So as soon as I started placing those boundaries, I think it was good. And then today, I had a huge healing moment in the morning, bro. Honestly, I started changing the narrative. I started changing the story of. Of like my relationship with my parents and like that fear of them placing that on me. And I'm using it as, like, leverage now. And I. I haven't felt as good as I feel today when it comes down to my parents, like, relationship with my parents. Right. And so I feel really good. So I don't think I'll be leaving here with guilt. I think if anything, I'm going to be living, leaving here with, like a huge sense of pride. Pride of like, when I was here. I gave them everything I had. I gave them my words, I gave them my love, I gave them my energy. I didn't give them my time because no one really cares about your time. They care about the level of energy that you give them in the midst of that time. And so that's what I gave them. And I think that now whenever I go back to my place, which is going to be in the next three weeks, I'm going guilt free, baby. I'm going guilt free knowing that I left it all out on the field.

Right on, man. You gonna have a housewarming party?

I might do a little something. I kind of want to do like a little worship night to kind of break in the house with some cigars also and like a fire outside and have some.

I'll show. I'll show up for a poker party.

Yeah, that too. That too.

Shoot. Texas hold them tournament.

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, bro. I want to have. I want to have a good time out there, man. Want to have a good time. I got a bunch of the. Not a bunch. About nine conquerors are flying in this weekend, and I'm going to take them up there to see it because I've been talking about it a lot. And so I'm going to take them to go see the house and stuff. So it's going to be cool. Cool little experience.

What all are you guys going to do?

So Friday night, I'm trying to get. I'm trying to get Jonathan to come in and coach on vision and the importance of vision and the importance of giving, because that's like all he ever talks about is giving, and that's literally his life. And so I'm gonna do that, and then I'm gonna talk on the. The call that we have on our lives and how. How it can be crippling. But we. It's all about the story we tell ourselves about the crippling. Like, it might be crippling and crushing what we feel like we're supposed to do in life, but that's not a bad thing, actually a good thing, because I don't have to try and keep myself humble. My calling keeps me humble. Like, if I was building something on my own, then I'd have to try and keep myself humble because I could say, well, I this and I did this and I built this all. But no, the fact that it's a calling and the calling is greater than I am, it naturally humbles me because I feel like every day where I wake up, it's like crippling because it's so big, right? And so I'm going to teach on that a little bit and how we can start attacking that and how we can start leveraging fear to push us into action instead of keep us stuck. So that's Friday. That's all Friday. And then Saturday it's just gonna be hangout, hang out. We're gonna meet up for breakfast at Legacy Hall. You should come, Scott. And then we're gonna go to Red River. We're gonna go. I'm gonna take them country dancing because they're flying into Texas. So. Yeah, we gotta keep a texting, right? So we're gonna go Red river, if you're down to come to that, too, bro. I think it'd be really cool for them to meet you because they listen to the podcast too.

Yeah, I might show up, man. Why not? You know, before. Before we close out, I wanna. I just. This just popped in my head, and. I'm not gonna say anybody's name or anything. In fact, I'm not even going to say how I know this person because it might give them away and I don't know. Well, anyway, it's, it's, it's a gentleman that I've met who is, he's now coaching and I, and is becoming a client. I'm building an app for him. He coaches kind of on the same thing you do. And he was married for like 30, 31 years and just very similar to what we're talking about. And, and it's like I, I just put it this way. He's, he's now living the best in his own words and even on his website, it's, it's like he's now living the best life he's ever lived. And you know, to be, to be in your late 50s, early 60s for, you know, I, I, I don't, I don't want to wait that long to live the best life I've ever lived. And he walked, you know, he, he walked around, you know, seemingly like numb or unhappy and, and just at some point something clicked and he's like, I, I gotta bounce. And you know, I, I think he didn't want to upset his, the, the family dynamic, which is a lot, you know, the reason a lot of people stay together, especially after they've been together that long. And you know, he's had to put in a lot of time and effort to, to make it right with his children and who are grown now, but, you know, nevertheless, it's like nobody ever gets it and from, they just see it from their perspective. Right?

And.

Some people are different and they're like, I just want my parents to be happy and yada, yada, yada. But that just popped into my head because it's like, I know we have a lot of, we have a diverse, a diverse age group of listeners and for those of you who are younger, just take that into consideration. Like, you know, don't, don't stay somewhere or in a, and it just doesn't necessarily have to be a marriage and I'm not promoting divorce either. But just be aware and be honest about things in yourself and so you don't wait. I'm super happy that, that this, this guy is living his best life now. I, I, and he's helping others do the same, which is even cooler. And, but, you know, I, I certainly, you know, I don't want to like, lie to myself and look, and look in the mirror and continue to do so and wait until I'm, you know, in my 50s, but live my best life. I want to live my life now, you know, while I'm in my 40s and I'm young and I'm. I. You know, I've still got prime boy. I've still. I've still got more than half the world to attack. You know, I've been to 52 countries, but there's 52 more I got to get to, and a couple more continents and some of the biggest ones yet. And there's. There's a ton I want to do, and hopefully I'll find someone to do it with that that encourages me to be my best self. And, And. And I. The same for them.

But wouldn't it be crazy. Wouldn't it. Wouldn't it be crazy if you went on a trip and on that trip you met someone who was doing the same thing that you're doing? She was just like, man, I just. I don't want to wait to enjoy life. And you're like, that's interesting. Me either. You're like, yeah, I just decided I was going to become my best self. And you're like, that's interesting. Me too. What I'm saying is, like, sometimes the people that we need to meet in our life are in the places that we need to be at. Right. Like, sometimes we. We think, like, I love what you just said. Like, I don't want to wait to be with somebody to, like, go and explore the world. Like, I. I would like to meet somebody that wants me to be my best self. Right. And so what if you. Being your best self is the place where you meet somebody that wants you to be your best self?

Yeah. In some, like, crazy, like, safari in Africa or something. Yeah. Way down in South America or something. Who knows?

But exactly.

I mean, it's. It's interesting. I mean, you just. You never know.

But.

At the end of the day, I. I hope everybody got some good takeaways from this. And I think the. The biggest one that I know, I. I got some takeaways from this because throughout. Throughout this. This episode, I have been vulnerable and honest and transparent about a lot of things, and just in doing so, learned some things about myself and some things that I need to, you know, address and put some action rules, not just identify. Because I think we often have talked about just identifying things.

Yeah.

And, yeah, we've talked about execution, but, I mean, not. Not to this extent or level. Yeah. And so I hope that people have gotten some good takeaways I hope everyone can go look in the mirror and be honest with themselves and say, you know what? I've been lying to you, dude, and not gonna do it anymore. It is today.

Yeah.

And here's what I'm gonna do about it.

That's really good, dude. That's really good, man. Sign us off, Scott.

Thank you guys for tuning in. Next week we'll have some announcements about the only dads and some things that we're going to be starting and make this week a phenomenal one. See you guys next week.