Broadcast - Q&A 2
Melanie and Amy answer questions about voice, live streaming, and speaking authentically. They discuss managing broadcast anxiety, sharing vulnerable topics on camera, and connecting with your audience in real time.
They call me sassy when I'm strolling down the street they call me classy when I'm serving Just the best, just the best they call me sassy when I'm smooth down the street.
Hello, gorgeous people of broadcast. This is our second Q A today. I'm excited to be here. It feels like fall. Supposed to be the middle of the summer, but I'm freezing, so I've got my hoodie on. But I think it's a vibe, so we're going with it. Okay, so the first question that I have today is from Elizabeth, and she says, I love the distinction you gave between audience and reach. People share what you say with folks on the Internet in their network. The subject I speak about is such an intimate one, though, that it rarely gets shared. I teach physical intimacy skills to men and I get very little engagement or shares with what I post. Not surprising, giving the content, but what could I do to soften the resistance or the barriers that men feel to sharing about this type of work and the transformation that they experience with women in intimacy? So something I actually want to tell you is that I believe there may be a limiting belief here for you because some of the most shared posts I see on the Internet are intimacy posts. People are craving to hear this stuff, and so I don't think it's the topic where there's an energetic block. I wonder if there's a fear of you being broadcast as the one that shares these topics. I would look at a limiting belief there. So ultimately, when your voice is. Is locked and loaded, it will be shared no matter what topic you're talking about. We do need to move away any belief that this is a topic that wouldn't be shareable. I don't think that exists. And on the Internet, I would actually say the more taboo, the more shares. Like, people might not. Might not comment as much, but they will definitely share. Taboo is where the most shares occur. So I think rewriting that, that belief in your mind is going to be the most important. So clearing your voice, clearing your beliefs, and going for your ideal reach. And your ideal reach is different than your audience, remember? So if you're saying to yourself, well, my audience doesn't like to share these things, okay, but your ideal reach does. Your ideal reach is saying, thank God for a woman like her. Thank God this is being talked about, share, share, share, share that it's the women sharing it all. It might be the women that are like, yes, all the men need to hear this, but people will share. If you move that Belief out of the way. Now another question. This has been coming up a lot. People are asking again a lot about the voice as it pertains to human design. So I just want to be clear. In this particular program, this is not angled to human design, but it is true that different people have different powers with their voice. Some people have a defined throat center, some people do not have a defined throat center. For some people, communication happens one way. For other people it happens another way. This is more so the energetics and the strategies of the voice, not so the personalized like what could be your personal thing that's going on. However, Amy definitely read the Q and A thread. She's been watching the program as well and is like, I have got some like epic information for this. And so she's decided to add, for those of you who want to purchase it, a human design add on. That's $77. If you have the gold card, you can purchase it at 50% off. Gold card is what you get. It's something you can sign up for if you're a Weir Alpha Femme member. But ultimately this is going to be a training that helps you understand whether or not you have a defined or undefined throat in human design. And it's going to help you understand what that means and it's going to give you some support on what to do if you have a defined heart def defined throat center or an undefined throat center. Beyond that, there's going to be a Q, a portion that goes specifically for this. So we're going to put that Q and A thread up today. Those of you that are a part of it will get to ask questions on it and Amy will make sure to cover your questions as well as what she's got planned for you. So it's going to be a session that's going to last about two hours and for those of you who purchase it, it will be emailed to you after and so you'll get to keep it. And I think that's going to be a really cool thing to have. So if you have any more human design questions, we we're not going to keep adding them to this thread. We're going to hang on to them until the human design thread gets that gets put on. You do need to be a participant of the the class in order for your question to be answered, but that thread is going to go up later today. So Alpha FEM team, if you don't mind putting the link again so people can grab it, if you want to purchase that, I'VE also tried to post it in the group, but for some reason the algorithm's like, the reach was like, 40 people have seen your post. I'm like, I don't know what to do, but I'll email you and I'll, I'll connect with you and I'll do my best for you to get it. So for those of you who are in we are Alpha Femme, you get to keep broadcast as long as you're active in we are Alpha Femme. For those of you who bought broadcast, bought broadcast in full, outside of we are Alpha Femme, you get to keep it. So that's how the, the membership works. Okay, next one. This is something I've been wondering about for a long time. When you speak Melanie, and this is from Anika. When, when you speak Mel, Melanie, do you read from the screen? Do you have keywords or notes? Or do you speak freely? How do you prepare? Do you record? Do you watch yourself before you broadcast the content? So I have been asked a lot recently, like, who's your mentor right now? And the crazy thing is for the last year or year and a half, maybe I have been my own mentor. And what I mean by this is I've been looking for someone. This is where, how I value mentorship. If, when I'm listening to my mentor, when I'm speaking with my mentor, if I produce higher vibrational thoughts, content or offers, that's, that's how I know I've found my mentor. If, when I'm listening and when I'm communicating with this person, I create higher vibrational thoughts, content or offers and the person that I listen to that makes me create the most high vibrational thoughts, content and offers is me. Last year, every time, every time I listen to myself last year, something else comes through for me and this was definitely a push from God. It was like, you've got to listen to your stuff again and again. And I've been doing this for a while, but it has been actually even greater in the past year and a half where I listen and I, I see the gap in what I'm missing. Or I hear something that I said that I said, but it was channeled and I didn't hear it. And now I'm hearing it like, what? That's genius. And it's creating more content. And so I really recommend you listening to yourself. Like really, especially if you channel. If you're a person who sometimes says things that you didn't plan and it happens to you often that something comes out of your mouth, I always Say if it's coming through you, it's probably for you. So a lot of times we just channel blah, blah, blah, blah, and we're so happy that it's transforming people's lives. But in fact, if we rewind and press play and listen to the thing we just said, we might realize that that was the greatest piece of advice that we actually needed. So I really do recommend re listening to yourself. And I love bettering my content from what it was like. How I've refined my body of work over these years is I constantly rewatch. If I'm redoing exponential wealth, I'm redoing femme fatale. And then I'm going to cut out what's no longer relevant. What could I say better with another year of, of integration? What could be said easier? And what would I cut entirely or what do I need to add? What's missing from this? So my work is constantly being ref. Find. I think that listening to an old podcast of a year ago and then saying, gosh, what if I brought this back to my audience but with a higher, you know, more power in my voice, more clarity, and maybe some perspectives that have changed, I don't even need to think about, hey, what should I talk about today? Let me just watch what I said last year. Make it better this year. And so I do think that that's a very valuable thing is to say, look, I channeled this for a reason, so how good can I make it? How much can I refine this? It doesn't always have to be new thoughts. Having said that, it depends. Sometimes I have notes. Obviously when I'm doing a Q and A, I'm reading the Q&As. When another time I might have notes is if I have a module where I want to cover not just one concept, but multiple concepts. So you'll notice on call one, I didn't use notes. I don't think I use notes at all. But yesterday I did. Because yesterday I wanted to talk to you about, like, five different things. And I wanted it to be in the right order because I had this, like, mental progression I wanted to take you, to take you through. And so if there's something that's like, I need to get multiple things in within one hour, sometimes I'll take notes just to make sure I don't get overexcited and spend too much time on one thing and then skip something and my whole mental progression gets. Gets broken. Because the whole goal is a train of thought that leads to transformation. Every time a train of thought that leads to transformation. So if I have one module that's one piece, I don't need to worry about that. But if one piece has five pieces in it and I need that mental progression or else I break the flow, then yes, I. I wouldn't want to have the note. And so the simplest part way for me to have it is either if it's little notes before a call, I keep it in my phone, or if not, what I've done in the past. And what I'll sometimes do if I have a very big module is I have little sticky notes, little post its and they're stuck to the top of my laptop, which I show people how to do in the coach program. It's old school, but it's the way that I like to do it. Okay, next question. This is something I've been wondering for a lot. Oh, no. This one. This. No. Okay. Sandy says, how do you work through being sick? I was so excited for this class and to practice my lives and I haven't felt this bad for a long time. And I think I have Covid. Anyway, doesn't matter how sick I am. Do I go live anyway, despite the odds, I want my speaking voice to come out. All I get is yucky scratchy on top of feeling like my head's being weighed down by a ton of bricks. And I have been in bed all day. Fever, all the things. So what would you do? And how can I make the best of how I'm feeling? Thank you so much for your time. If you read the sense. So I want to talk to you about this because this is actually. I mean, you're on camera today, you gorgeous little. So here's the thing. I have done live streams where I sound so gross because it was a 365 day promise. And I'm like, hello. Like I have, I have done that. I have blown snot bubbles on the Internet. I have had coughing fits where my eyes are just leaking profusely. And I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine. And I'm sipping water and I keep coughing. I have done all of it. What it has done for me is it has given me this feeling that I can really do anything. It's given me this feeling that nothing can take me down. It's made me feel, who cares? Like, when you think about it, can you still be married when you're sick? Yes. Can you still be a mom when you're sick? Yes. Can you still be an entrepreneur when you're sick? Yes. So yes, you can absolutely still go. And it's actually quite nice to just say, nothing stops me. I don't need to be perfect. And it gives people permission. On another hand, it gives people again, this feeling of, hey, I could be valuable to people even if I'm not perfect. I actually really enjoyed this 6. This sick livestream. This is wonderful. I love you. And for the world. It shows imperfections and it shows duality and it works. Total flip side, though, if you decided to say, hey, I'm sick and I'm my own boss and I ain't working today and no one says nothing because I'm the boss, you're also allowed to do that and to model for the world. The beautiful thing about being an entrepreneur is when you're not feeling well, you have a day off. You sushi roll on the couch, you, you drink electrolytes and you watch cheap TV and it's perfect. And then you tell the world, guess what? We can be all of it. We can be raging successful entrepreneurs day and we can be tiny little cutie pies on the couch needing tissue the next day. And we get to be all of it. You're welcome. Go take care of yourself. So there is no right way or wrong way to do it. The thing we want to take away is the should should I be doing it? That's the thing we don't want to do is like, do I want to show myself I can do this no matter what? Am I in the vibes to just model, powering through? Or do I want to totally disconnect and give myself this peace of mind and then do I want to model that? But you not working, feeling guilty that you should is not you modeling anything. And you live because you thought you should is also you not modeling anything. So it's like pick. They're both good. The one that's not good is doing the one thing and thinking you should be doing the other, whether you're working or not, thinking you should be doing the opposite. That's where we sabotage. So that is my advice on this. Okay, so this one is from Iette. She has two questions. While I'm finding broadcast incredibly valuable, and it's activating me and making me investigate and ask myself very important questions regarding my voice. I wonder how this applies to those of us who whose voice may be more visual or writing, if at all. So this course is specifically about the voice, the spoken voice, this voice. And that's why in the animation I made sure to show with the microphone and the sound coming out of the mouth and all the things. I do have many points of view about all kinds of other things. However, I really do reserve that for my Impact Academy program because I think that the spoken voice is absolutely fantastic. And I have helped so many of my clients, especially those with kids, especially those with, you know, you can't just voice memo. You can't just go on a live stream, but you can sit on the couch and write something. You can in bed write something when your husband's sleeping next to you. You can do certain things where the live stream might not be possible and helping people create brands outside of the spoken word that have tons of impact. But it's not possible for me to fit the entire program into one piece. And this is the spoken word piece. So I have a lot of feedback about that. But it would be more in my Impact Academy program. So this is particular particularly for the voice. Okay. And the second question is, I just had a major breakthrough understanding why I'm afraid to use my voice. I speak the truth and say things like it is. And while I'm willing to to get behind triggering people or the courage to be disliked hurting people I love with the truth, when my intentions are of love, that's a different story. And it's happened in the past. Any advice? I'm not letting that stop me or getting beyond that. My authentic voice is not the gift of diplomacy. Okay, so this is where. This is where, when I look at what does it take for us to be the version of us that we want to be on the Internet and to do the actual best work we can do on the planet? I've created this Alpha femme experience for this purpose because I really do believe that all these parts that people are asking questions about, they're not just one line answers, They're a whole thing that is actually a viable piece of the conversation. Like how to be a brilliant communicator when the thing you want to say and the thing you can say are vibrationally entirely different and one is actually going to hurt someone's feelings. When in fact, if you just had a different communication style and you learned a different communication style, you'd be able to nail what you think and what you feel without hurting someone. That is a valuable skill, you know, even just like your feelings inside. And learning to just regulate the feelings before you communicate will often cut that cord, that energetic cord that creates tension when you speak. And so femme fatale art of leadership. These are conversations that I'm bringing to the world for a very valuable reason, which Is, yes, there's us speaking, but what creates the distortion? Why is it that we're afraid to speak? Well, we were told when we were little to be that kids should be seen and not heard. And now little girls should be seen and not heard, and then women should be seen and not heard. And then don't be too big, too bold, too brave to this. And now we're small. And now I want to be big. And I want to have a podcast, and I want the world to see me, but I'm terrified. Every time I can, I think about it, and what is this femme fatale? You know? And then it's like, I'm just so frustrated when people don't understand me, and I just. I don't want to have to pussyfoot around the answers. I just want to say what I want to say. It's like, yeah, art of leadership. Like, there's a reason these things exist. And if I thought it was possible to just be successful, just. Just be successful, like, just go do it, I would not have created this body of work. Like, I know that this is what we're not taught. This is why less of us are successful than should be. Like, I want to make the 1%, the 2%, and the 2%, the 3%, and the 3%, the 4%. That's what I want to do with this work. Because this is not for the masses. People don't get this. The majority of people on Earth have zero emotional intelligence. They speak out of term, they speak out of line, they regret what they said. This is literally the majority of the world. And so for us, it's like, we're the tiniest finite group of people that have the possibility to double that 1% and double that. Like, we're doing big work with tiny percentages. But the Alpha Femme experience was crafted for the women who understand that this is not just about being successful. It's about being powerful and all the pieces of the puzzle in order for that to feel right and feel true. Like, okay, I have a powerful voice and I speak on a platform, but I get super triggered by stuff, and I say things I don't want to say. I'm going to get shielded by the universe and be like, let's not broadcast her too big quite yet. She hasn't mastered the anger. You know, let's just make sure that this doesn't. Let's. Let's not make her hit the masses yet, because she hasn't yet mastered the emotional regulation. She's going to lose it if she. If she grazes the wrong group. Let's just make sure that. And so we're limited in all of our power because we're not cultivating these skills. So I would say, I see the fear. I totally get the fear. And where the wisdom would be in this moment is to be like, wouldn't it be great if I worked on those skills instead of let me try to avoid speaking with my voice so that I don't do these things, which is what the majority of the planet would do. You would not be bad or wrong or broken for doing that. You would just be normal. And the thing is, we're not going for normal, we're going for supernatural. So it's just normal is normal. We're trying to go beyond that. But the normal fears will touch you. You're human. It's just like, do I go beyond that? Do I learn the skills? Do I go for it? Or do I. Do I manage my feelings and try to avoid them by doing less? Which is what most people will do. This is a brilliant question, so thank you. Okay, next question. What's your secret formula to going live? Do you announce it? Do you say when? When do you do it? So I love this question for so many reasons, because I was told that the best time to go live was like between 10am and 3pm or something like that. And I was like, in which time zone? And no one could answer that question in the time zone you're in. But that doesn't make sense. What does it matter then? What if you have a global brand? What if the goal is to have a global brand with people all over the planet? What time zone? It's like, I sound like my Grandma, but it's 5 o' clock somewhere. Like, what time zone is 3 o'? Clock? And so I just completely let go of that and I was like, my clients are all over the world. I've done live streams at 11 o' clock at night and there's tons of people on them. I've done live streams at 6 o' clock in the morning. I've done live streams in the middle of the afternoon. People show up. What helps me, though? And I don't even know if it actually makes a difference. But when I do a post that says I'm going live in about 15 minutes or I, I go live, I'm going live at about this time, I can't chicken out. That's why I do it. Because sometimes it's like, okay, I'm gonna go live, and then 15 minutes go by, or five minutes, you know, I've got to do something, then something happens. I'm like, ah, I'll do it tomorrow. But if I post I'm going live, then I'm gonna go. So the reason I post it is the minute I feel the sacral hit, I tell the Internet I'm gonna go live, can you make it? And so it locks me in. That's why I do it. But I'm sure that people seeing that definitely goes, oh well, let me keep an eye out for this live stream. I'm sure that does help. So if I wanted to do it on a major scale, if there was a big live stream I wanted to do, I could email my entire email list. I could promote the live stream for a few days and ultimately that's what the master classes are. I let people know far in advance there's going to be a live stream on this time. So when people really want to be there, they can make time for it. So that's how I've, how I've done that. But the key to a live stream for me honestly is just I am who I am 24 hours a day. So what does it matter when I'm talking? And I don't believe in that. I have to be perfect in order for me to make an impact. So it's not like well, what's my best time? Because it doesn't even really matter. And Sometimes I think 10am will be my best time, but then I have a bad night's sleep. So 10am is not my best time. And other times I think 7pm is my best time. But then one night I'm tired early so it's not my best time. So just go with the flow. That's the way I do it. I go with my energy, I go with when do I want to actually say something like I have something to say as I want to go live. If you want to build an audience that is all on the same time zone, so let's say you are building a brick and mortar business, you want to get people that are in your time zone, then yeah, go around the same time every day and build an audience around the same day. But if you're building a global brand, it's always five o' clock somewhere. So it doesn't matter, just when you feel it, go for it. That's my real truth. I would rather this is actually an important part. If you focus on your audience, you'll wonder when they're available. If you focus on your reach, you'll care about the quality of your energy on the live stream. If I'm thinking, when are people available to watch me live? I'm thinking about the audience. When I'm thinking of the people who are going to watch this once it's been recorded, all the people it might reach. What matters more is how sharp am I on this live stream. So that's a cool thing to contemplate. Okay, next question. I'm going to create a podcast with teachings for leaders of a specific group of employees. The podcast will be an interview of one of our specialists within an area. I'm curious on how to make sure that both of us speak instead of talk, because they don't know the concept. So how can I help them speak? So remember yesterday when I said, when you start speaking, it raises the vibrational bar, and the person that you're speaking with will automatically feel different about their conversation with you, it just happens. You speak, it raises the bar. So the most important thing is just that you speak. And it's not complicated, to be honest. It's that you are aware that you're speaking. So if I asked you to walk like the world was watching, would you walk different? If I asked you to walk across the the room like you were being filmed for a snippet for your brand, would you walk different than the way you'd walk across the living room to go grab a box of tissue papers? This is what the consciousness is. It's that there's a way that you speak when you believe people are listening that's different than the way you talk when you're just talking. And most of us just don't pay attention, that we have different levels of speech. So if you just put it in the forefront of your mind, this is a speaking opportunity. I'm not just talking to someone on this podcast. This is a speaking opportunity that's going to be an incredible experience for you and for the person you're speaking with. If you just go, just completely disconnect, you're just talking. It's not that it's going to be bad. It's just not going to have the same impact. Like, you don't all of a sudden start walking like a grizzly bear just because no one's watching you, but you definitely don't have the refinement, the poise, the power, the strut. You definitely don't have the genesis quoi. You definitely don't have the vibe like that's not there. And the thing is, we can bring all that in our voice. So as much as possible. Just being aware that you're a speaker will add that added layer of it. And when you show up in the room as a speaker, the person you're speaking to feels that energy and is just like, oh, okay, okay, I'm going to raise the bar here. And it just kind of happens and it's quite magical. So what I love about this is we're raising the bar just by being better. We're raising the bar just by being a speaker. You don't even need to coach people or teach people on it. You raise the bar just by them being with you. If they hang out with you long enough, they'll start speaking at a different frequency. That's the power of calibration. That's the power of mentorship. That's the power of conversation. That's the power of co creation. That's the whole magic of all of it. So don't worry about how you're going to make them do it. It's just you embody it and watch the magic. Okay, next one. I'm loving all These notes here, Ms. Goddess, putting all the notes for us in the comment section. Okay, will you please share some tips for how you speak so eloquently and also have this approachability and relatability about you. I've been trying to be more casual and keep it real, which I believe could be coming off into the talking category. So I absolutely love the nuance of this question. So look, here's the thing. I'm not trying to look like a speaker. I'm not trying to look like I'm doing something. I am just aware that my voice matters. If I asked you to walk like a supermodel across the living room, you would walk differently than if I asked you to walk just for your brand across the living room, you wouldn't be like across the living room for your brand. You just be this like, confident. I'm aware I'm walking in a straight line. My back is straight. I'm confident. But you wouldn't be like, and the hips and we sway and the strut like you and the face and the paws, like, you wouldn't be going over the top. It would just be like your best. That's what we're looking for. So why people say like, you don't want to, you don't, you don't want to not be relatable is because what not relatable looks like is acted a lot of the times and where a lot of people struggle with this. And I've helped a lot of people do. This is those who have a lot of stage presence. So I've had a lot of people come to me because they've built offline brands before the pandemic, especially, where they were really good in a live audience. They were really good speaking on stages. And then they got to the Internet, and people would not spend two seconds watching them because it was like, the cringe. And they're like, why does this not work for me? Like, people used to love this, but it's like when you're on a. On a camera and someone's like, all right, everybody. Okay, so we are going to talk about broadcast. We're going to talk about the power of the voice. Yes or yes, right? Yes or yes? You're like, oh, my God. No. No. There's a. There's a distinct kind of person who can handle that. But in a group, in a room, people can get away with that. But when you're doing that, there's people who do this on a live stream, on a podcast, because they don't realize the difference between, like, yo, chill. This is one person in their living room all by themselves watching you. Like, you're not going to get the same. This is not like, relax. This is not the vibe. Unless you're trying to recreate the group environment. And people are like, yeah, and they're in their living room and they're dancing. But, like, that's a totally different audience. It's like, you've got to just. You got to check yourself. Like, it's different if it's a podcast or a live stream or a program. Like, maybe once you get them all in your program, if you want to get them dancing, that might. That might work, you know, but on this live stream, when they don't know who you are, they've never met you. This is a first impression. They're like, I don't know how many people you think you're talking to, but me and my cat think you're a little loud right now, and we would like you to calm down because I almost spilled my chamomile tea all over my brand new blanket. So let's just count it down. And this is. I'm being funny and I'm not wanting to offend anybody in this, but the fact is, when you're doing online stuff, it more so feels like you're FaceTiming somebody or you're talking to somebody. It's the same thing as, like, you go to. You go to Broadway and you go watch a show on Broadway. That's going to be such a different production than a show on Netflix. You know, the drama on stage and the subtlety of a Netflix show. You put the on stage drama. Who here watched Bridgerton? I'm curious, who watched Bridgerton? Okay. Did you notice the. The very intense enunciation of Lady Danbury and how, like, very animated her speaking is? So she's a stage actor, right? So you can see the difference in the super enunciation of the mouth. Like, this is just a very animated way of saying speaking. Like, you can tell, like you can have one character like this and it gives them a. It gives them a little thing. But if all the characters in Bridgerton spoke like that, it'd be like, you guys are on the wrong stage. It's like, you can't. It's not natural. So we want to find our natural. And if that is natural, then it's natural. And so what I mean by this is, eventually you do get to be just fine with Lady. Lady Danbury's way of speaking. It doesn't feel weird the whole series, but it feels weird at the beginning. But then you kind of realize this is how she talks and this is going to be it for the series. Like, this is it. So then you get used to it. So for you, it's going to be like, if you're pretending, you're going to have a lot of people be like, that's weird. I don't like that. But if it's who you are, you'll still have people be like, she's a lot. That's loud. But then eventually your people will still love you if it's real. If it's not real, it tends to never stick. So the difference in being natural and still being so down to earth is that it's the truth of who you are. You're not trying to be something else, thinking that's what's going to get more views, more likes, more something. It's. It's like, this is who I am. This is what I'm doing at my best. Not walking like a supermodel. I'm walk. I'm walking like my best walk when I pay attention to my posture a little bit, and I. And I walk with power. This is, this is a walk. Like I could be empowered in a business meeting, but I'm not on a cat. I'm not on a catwalk. You know, you're gonna find your difference. Same thing on a live stream. Same thing about a podcast. So this is an interesting question. Ella says, what about going to an excited State like Tony before speaking. Now here's the thing. Tony does not speak like that when he's on a live stream. If you've ever seen him, he's sitting right there next to Sage. They're all sweet. Hello, honey. Hi, Tony. So we're gonna have a five day event. You want to be there? Yes. He's powerful. He's freaking Tony Robbins. But he's not like, are you coming to my event? Say yes. Make your move. Like, he's not doing that when he's selling you to come to the event. He's doing that once. He has said to you like, but in these four doors, I'm going to change your. Between these four walls, I'm going to change your freaking life. And I need you to raise your state through the roof and I'm going to help you do that. There's a context that's being set. But before that, he's not coming in with that energy. He's coming in like, I'm a guy who's got a really great thing to offer you and it will change your life. And he's being really real. It wouldn't, it would be, it would not be the same landing if he came in with that energy right off the hop. Because you need someone's permission before you let them excite you like that. This is what I found. I'll. I'll let you excite me. I'll let you make me laugh. But I feel like I need you. I need you to give you my permission for that. And if you come in right away, you know, it's like if I'm having a discussion with someone and all of a sudden they start being funny. I like that. But if someone walks up to me and tells me a joke, a stranger, I'm going to be like, is it just me or is this weird? Like, it, it won't just land like, oh, thank you for that joke. What's your name? Like, it's not going to go that way. So you got to have some sort of rapport for any kind of emotion to be exchanged. And so joy, happiness, laughter, sadness, anguish, anger, whatever. There's got to be a context for it. So when you're trying too hard to make people feel before they know you, that's often when it's like, okay, no. So often the feeling is, I want you to feel like you like me. That's also too soon. You don't need them to like you. They just you. That's not important yet. It's like, hi, hello, here's what I'm doing. Here's what I'm talking about, here's who I am. And then eventually like, oh, yeah, I like this. But trying to make someone feel something right off the hop is usually the, the thing that makes it feel not natural. So the other part of it is that what makes me relatable, I think, is that I really didn't ever try to make it look like I was better than I am. So I've been really, really sure all along the way to not make. Try to make it look like I'm this thing that people should want to be. That's not my approach to this. I'm who I am, you're who you are. We're equal power, but different. I just really believe that the greatest thing that can happen to us is one really intelligent person speaking to another really intelligent person, not needing them to be weak in order to get it. Not needing for them to be strong and powerful in order to be respected. Like, just, I'm intelligent and I know things. You're intelligent and you'd like to know these things. That's what's going to change the world for women faster. And so I've, as much as possible, I've not let any of this get to my head. And it's so funny because even my grandmother, every time I see my grandmother, she tells me the same thing. She says, I want to tell you what I'm so proud of. Your granddad and I would talk about this. We're so proud of the fact that you have not changed. You are the same person. We watch your videos, we watch you, we talk to you. You have not changed. No matter what you have, no matter what you built you as a person, you are not different. And we're so proud of that. And, and I'm. I'm actually really proud. I love hearing that because I know that for some people, it goes to their head and then it's like, well, if you had done what I had done, then you would, blah, blah. Like, I don't feel that. I feel like we can do this. And I've never let go of that. And so I think what makes you relatable is that you relate to people. Trying to look relatable is you don't relate to people, but you want them to relate to you. So you've got to fake something to make it look or feel like you're kind of like them so that they like you.
You.
I'm not into that. I'm relatable to you because I relate to you. I, I am you. I. This is exactly the thing. And if you only knew like you are. I want you to get rich. I want you to get rich so big and so fast so that you can realize it's not the point. Like, if this was just about the money for me, I'd be retired by now. Like, I would not do this anymore. I'd just be like, okay, let's go be free. Like, this is not about the money. And you'll realize when the money comes, and it will, and it will come in big amounts, you'll be like, oh my gosh. Like, most people chase money their whole entire lives. They never actually realize what life is about. Their whole life was a rat race to be rich. I want to help people make the money fast so they can start living what life's really about. And you can't tell a person even if you try. I've tried so much trying to tell people. Like, once you're rich, you'll realize it doesn't matter. Like, this is not it. And they're like, it's anything for you to say you're rich. And I'm like, listen, Like, a lot of the rich people all say the same thing. Money can't buy you happiness. It's not the thing. You've got to go beyond that. It's not enough. Like, like. But people don't listen. They're like, well, yeah, but you know, I'd rather cry in a boat. And I'm like, no, you wouldn't rather cry in a boat. You know, well, if I could wipe my tears with a hundred dollar bills. You don't want to wipe your tears with hundred dollar bills. That's not what happens. And so for me, it's that relatability of like, I still have big things I want to accomplish. I still feel not good enough for the big things that I want. I still wonder what's going to go wrong and what's going to go this and that. Like, I am the same person. And it's so crazy you would wish that with more, more evidence of what you can do that some of the fears would go away. But they don't. What I have is wisdom to say this fear will pass. This pain is temporary. This is not real. It's not true. I'm actually greater than this. Just because I don't know how to do it doesn't mean that I won't do it. I didn't know how the heck I would do this and I did it. So who cares? I don't know how to do the next thing, and I'm going to do it. I'm going to be brave. I'm going to be bold. Like, I'm just more wise. But none of the feelings or fears have gone away. They're just the same things at another level. If you stay humble, you will be relatable. If you stay real, if you stay true, you'll be relatable because you relate to people. The minute you stop relating to people, you're unrelatable. You can't stop relating to people and want to look relatable and be natural, Something's gonna give. One of those things will have to be faked. But if you actually do care about people and you relate to them, it's going to be seamless and it's going to be real. And you won't even need to ask yourself these questions. Okay, next question. Hello, Melanie. Thank you for your magic. My question is, how do you recognize the difference between speaking at people versus speaking to people? I know. I notice how I retract when I feel like people are talking at me. Almost like I feel like I'm being talked down to. I totally get this. For example, when my mother still tells me at 47 that I need to do something based on her own beliefs. Because of this, there's fear that when I speak or talk in my stories or reels, I might be coming off as I talk at them. At times, I feel I'm being inclusive and respectful. But is there a mindset shift or is there something that we can work on? Our vocabulary, inflection, tone? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, so the big thing. And we're bringing this back because we talked about this a little bit in the beginning, but if you speak for you, it will be a question of time before your head inflates, before you think you know better, before you stop relating to people, their fears, their stresses. Before you're like, I'm the one. Before, you're like, I got this. If you don't understand me, you're just dumb. You're a hater. You're that. Like, it's a question of time before this happens, if it's all about you. But if you actually connect to yourself and you're like, okay, what's the reason I'm doing this? Like, what's the actual. Why do I want to speak to people? What do I think I'm going to impress upon them? What do I actually think I'm giving to them when I'm talking to them? Why Am I doing this? If you do that, then you're not going to go into this condescending tone. When you think about why your mom is talking to you the way she is is because she does not want to be irrelevant. Her favorite job in her whole life has been being your mother, and she doesn't really know who to be when you don't need her anymore. So she talks to you so that you continue to need her. It's all from a place of her own need to still be your mom. She doesn't actually think you need this advice. She just really wants you to think you need it so that she feels like she helped you. This is the thing with moms. Like, moms just want to be wanted and needed forever. That's. That is the secret code for your mom. You want to stop fighting with your mom. Take this with you. Moms want to feel like you need them forever, even if they need to create a false need. So you feel like she's talking down to you. She's not. She's trying to position the conversation in a way where you're grateful for her advice. People do this on the Internet all the time, and they don't get paid much because people are like, thanks, but no thanks. You think I'm dumb? You think I don't know that? You think I don't. It's like, no, I don't think you're dumb. I hope you're in need of what I just said so that I can feel validated by what I just shared with you, because you needing what I said makes me feel important. So we've got to move out of this. I speak just because people need me, and I speak because it feels good into, like, when I speak, things change, even if I don't get a round of applause or standing ovation. Like, I have had conversations on the Internet that literally have had people have to not talk to me anymore out of fear that associating with me would get them in trouble. Because I've been so bold and so brave and I've said things, and people are like. And then six months go by, and they're like, I want to thank you so much for that live stream. You did. I wanted to comment and I wanted, but I was just so afraid that if I commented, I'd get caught up in stuff. But, like, you really showed up in a powerful way, and it changed me to watch you do that. And I'm so grateful and I'm so thankful you're not going to get the validation for the real impact you make. A lot of the times you're going to make a big impact and people will be like, oh, my God, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. You're not always going to get a standing ovation. And so it's really knowing. I don't need immediate gratification. I speak for transformation. I speak for change. I speak for service. And whenever my shadow or my ego gets in the way of, like, I'm not getting the round of applause, people aren't saying thank you. People aren't giving me the thing that I need. People aren't needing me is going back out into service again. Is it of service of people for me to speak to them in order for them to be grateful for me? Is that really in service? It takes a lot of spiritual and emotional maturity to get to this point where you're actually completely connected to the greater picture. And we're going to slip and we're going to fall and we get bumped and bruised along the way, and we'll forget, and then we'll be like, oh, I totally forgot. But we can bring ourselves back to our power every single time. And. And it's just like staying connected to the bigger vision. So anytime anybody speaks to you in a condescending way, it's because they need validation from your understanding of them. They need validation from the advice you just gave them. They need validation for them, their point of view. And they're hoping if they position themselves a certain way, it'll be easier for you to go, oh, I never thought of that. Thank you. I'm so grateful for you, you genius unicorn of a human. And when that doesn't happen, they get offended or they push harder to try to help you more, depending on who they are. So I would say I don't really fear for you that you're going to do this, but if it did happen that you did this, I think you'd tidy it up relatively quickly. Just. You'll tell from your audience. You'll tell. You can tell. I think the reason I built such a beautiful audience is because people can tell that I speak to them like they're a genius. I have zero need for you to think I'm smarter than you. I don't value that at all. What I want is for you to read my stuff and go, yes to that. I know that I was saying that last week. I believe that. That's exactly how I think about it. I just never figured out how to say the words Yes, I resonate with this. Yes, you're correct. Oh, yeah. You know what? You're right. I do think that from that frequency. Not, like, Melanie's a genius. Thank you for your words. I would never survive without you. Like, that's not it. I want it to be a remembering. Like, yes, Melanie, that's it. That's what I've been feeling. Thank you. Like, shoulder to shoulder. And you can tell in the comment section of my post that's. That's how I get. That's what people are saying. I'm speaking to the genius in people and I'm waking it up. Like, we talked about the reach. I'm not looking at my audience saying, well, if they knew what I know, they'd be successful by now. And when I look at my audience, I know they're not successful as much as I am. So my audience would never buy what I'm selling, would never understand what I'm doing, and they would never. And that's how most people read their audience. But I say if they're here and they're listening, there's something I'm saying that really touches them. And so let me say the crazy thing, and let's see what happens. And let me see what the feedback is. And let me see. And people are like, you're right. This feels like. This feels like the deepest truth of my soul. This feels like this. Then I'm like, see, I knew it. They're all geniuses. So it goes. And of course, I'll have one person from time to time be like, word salad. And then I'm like, but that happens. You've got to just, like, handle the fact that not everybody gets you. But when you go for your reach instead of your audience, you pull out the greatest of people as well. It's just. You won't get the same validation. You won't get the, this post changed my life. You'll get the. I. I literally said this yesterday. And I. I've worked with a lot of my clients who get really offended when people say that, where it's like, I. Oh, yes, I had the same thought. They're like, you did not have the same thought. You know, this was genius, what I wrote. And it's like, no, they did have the same thought. Maybe they didn't. Wouldn't have said it quite so eloquently. Maybe. Maybe they couldn't have put it all together. But it's a good thing when people tell you that, because it's. It's like power by association. Like, when I'm with you. This is actually a really important part. I realized there were two different kinds of people when I was on my. On my journey that I connected with, people that when I was with them, they felt really smart. And people that when I was with them, I felt really smart. Who do you think my favorite people were to hang out with? The people that when I was with them was like, well, you're a genius. Okay, well, you're a genius. Okay, well, you're a genius. Or the people who are like, oh, my gosh, I love this conversation. And I feel like I'm a genius when I'm speaking to. And I feel really lit up and I feel like I've got all these ideas and. And what was the difference? One person wanted to show me how bright I was, or one person wanted to show me how bright they were. The other person assumed I was as bright as they were. And so they talked to me like I was just as intelligent. And then my power came, came out with this one. It was this constant posturing of like, okay, I get it, you're smart. And then I don't know where that leaves me, but it's not good. And so I really learned this skill of, like, speak to people. Like, the greatest genius in you is speaking to the greatest genius in them. And once in a blue moon, you'll get a person who won't get it and will say something rude, but that's a fraction of the price to pay for the incredible magic that will happen when people actually enter a conversation with you. Like, it's happened so often. People are like, okay, so how do you charge. I get on a podcast, like, how do you charge half a million dollars for private coaching? How do you do it? And I'm like, well, I speak to people that have businesses where half a million dollars for coaching is the correct amount. Where if they invest half a million dollars in coaching, but they can make $10 million in the next couple of years, that's. That's the right move for them. And so I'm not selling half a million dollar coaching package to a person who's like, I have a dream. I think I want to be a healer. Like, that's not the person that I'm selling this to. It's like, here's my business, here's the numbers we're doing. This is what I want. These are the problems I have. And I'm like, well, this is my solution. This is the cost. And if their cash flow is correct and their actual belief that they can scale to eight figures, is there? Then it's like, well, yeah, it's like, yeah, we do it. And so when you're speaking to people, you want their power to come out. You can't be speaking and saying, well, how do I get a person to want to buy a thousand dollar program? But I'm talking to them like they can't buy groceries. It's like, oh, well, that's like just not the right person to speak to. But then people say, but then are we leaving the people behind that can't buy groceries? And it's like, no. Because here's the thing. There's two kinds of people who can't buy groceries. There's the people who can't buy groceries because they've decided they're the kind of person who can't buy groceries. They've decided they're the kind of person who's just a failure. They've decided they're the kind of person that can't amount to anything. They decided that life's hard. They've decided that this is just the way it's cut out for them. No matter how cheap you make your program, are you going to help that person? No. And then there's the other person who can't afford to buy groceries and is having a life experience like, this is not normal. This is not who I am. I have got to do something about this. This is entirely ridiculous. And that person might actually say, you know what? I don't know where I'm going to find thousand dollars, but I'm going to find a thousand dollars and I'm going to buy this program. Because if something's got to change, something's got to change. And in every success story you've ever heard, that's the person, the one that didn't have the money and invested the money because it made no sense, but they had the power. So I speak to the higher vibrational thoughts, feelings, powers, knowing that there are people who are going to say, gosh, I wish I could do this, but I can't. But it wouldn't matter how much it costs, they would still tell me that. And then also knowing that some people will say, look, I don't know if I qualify, but I want to do it. Can I? I will tell you 20% of the people who've bought things for me, whether they were buying a $200 thing, a $2,000 thing, a $20,000 thing, an $80,000 thing, $175,000 thing, a $500,000 thing, it's like, I don't know if I'm your best match, but I want this. Can I still do it? And so what I've come to realize is that the people who want it will sell you on, on taking them on. So why spend so much time with the people who you think you need to push with your voice, when in fact, if you broadcast your voice to the person who's right for this, you're going to get a yes for the per from the people it's right for. And the people that aren't technically right for it but believe in themselves will say, I, I'm not. I don't think I. I meet your requirements, but I want to do it. And those end up being the craziest, awesomest people, the bravest. My best, my best stories come from those people. Amy, who literally was a school teacher who made no money, who put the whole thing on a credit card, who was like, effort, I'm doing it. I don't know how, but I'm doing it. And became a millionaire within a few years. Like, because every. It was just like, this reality is mine, but it feels wrong. So I'm going for it. You know Stephanie, who was like, I'm $14 per workout program. I'd love to learn to make $1,000 a month. So we're now celebrating $25 million that she's made since we started working together. Like, this is a person who wanted to learn to make $1,000 a month, who said, okay, I'm going to. I'm going to pay $6,000 for a package to teach me how to make $1,000 a month. The math doesn't even girl math, based on the way girls do math in the modern day Instagram world, you don't do that. But as a business person, you do. You invest 6,000 to learn how to make 1,000amonth, because that makes 12,000 a year. And if you do that a few years, eventually you get well. Now she's making millions because she was like, this is, this is my, my life. But it doesn't feel correct. I have a girl in my AFE Next. She's like 20 something years old, or I think she just turned 30. She literally comes into AFE Next is making $20,000 a month. And she's like, my goal is to make a million. I'm like, okay, she's made half a million dollars in the last couple of months. She's just crushing it. And it's like she, her reality did not look like, yes, this is like, this is a perfect reality for me to do big things right now. And her reality didn't look, like, terrible, but it looked like this is incorrect. I'm looking at what I'm seeing, and I think it should be more. So I'm gonna go bigger than where I am because that's where I should be. And she was like, I think it's crazy because I know afie next is usually for people who've done this, but I really feel like that's where I'm going. And her power, I was like, yeah. And she did it like this. Like, boom. It was like 20,000, 40,000, 50,000, 80,0001-000001-60000. Like, she's just blown it out of the water. But her conviction was there. So if you speak to potential in people, what's going to happen is that the potential will either be there already to awaken, or you'll wake it up. And for people who it's not possible yet or it's not available yet. It wouldn't have been more available at a cheaper price. It wouldn't. As a matter of fact, sometimes people need to make a move that's way bigger than them in order for it to make sense. It's got to be so big it's scary, or else it doesn't change them. So speak to the power, and you'll be surprised how often it'll happen. I have men reach out and say, I know it's alpha femme, but can I buy it? Yes. I know it's this, but can I come? Yes. I feel like this is more people. I. I know this is. Seems like it's more for entrepreneurs, but I'm a director of a store. I would really like to do it. You think, can I do it? Of course you can. You know, I know that this is usually more for younger people, but do you think that I can join? It's not for younger people. Yes, you can join. And yes, but also, I'm glad you asked. And also, yes. Like, yes, just people will invite themselves. Don't worry about making it so easy. The people who need it to be easy are not the best people anyway. It's the people who want it to be real. Right. Correct. Like the people who feel it in their soul. So don't dim down your voice. Speak out. Trust the right people are going to find you. Speak with all of your passion and just trust. Even if someone isn't right for it yet, they'll say, I don't know how I'm going to make this work. But I feel like this is me, and that's the version of me I want to be. And will you accept me in. Okay, let me just see if there was one other thing here. So speaking at people is what you do when you just want to talk. Speaking to people is what you do when you're of service. So we often feel like people are speaking at us when they're just talking, and they don't care whether it's landing or not, and they don't care whether it's helping or not. But when they're speaking to us, when people say to me on my live streams or my post, this really spoke to me, what it means is I feel like you got me in this. So if you want to know whether you're talking at someone or speaking to someone, is it in service to them that you're speaking? That is the best question to ask. If it's in service to you that I'm speaking, we're in the God zone. If I'm talking at you, you're probably not listening. And I'm just getting the feeling of getting my voice out there, which is not. That's not where all the money is, not where all the influences. It's not where the power is. It's not where the change is. So that's the tweak. If you're in. When you speak in service, you're in the God zone. So that completes second Q A, you guys. So tomorrow is our last piece of the puzzle. Thank you so much for being here. I'm loving this conversation. I feel like this actually has ended up being even more fun than I thought it would, and I knew it was going to be fun. So this is always good news. If you're still thinking of coming for Amy's training about the voice, I think it's going to be really cool. Defined, undefined throat centers. If you don't know whether you have a defined or undefined throat center, we have an Instagram account called ahd_ by alpha femme. So alpha hd ah hd_ by alpha Femme. And one of the latest posts we made is a body graph. And the little square that's lit up is the voice.
So.
Or is the throat chakra. So you'll know if you're defined or undefined when you look at your human design chart. And that box, that square box is either completely filled in or it's blank. And basically on that Instagram page, in our links, we have a link to our. Our website. If you click on the website. It'll show you there's a link my body graph. You go, you put in your information in for your human design. It'll show you your little person and you can compare the design to your thing and see if you've got this defined or undefined. It's cool to know it's a different approach. It empowers you to have this information. If you, if you like this kind of stuff, I think you're really going to enjoy it. When I found out I had a defined throat, it changed things for me. It gave me a permission I didn't think I needed and the approach of how I spoke changed. But it's a unique thing. So it's cool to go in knowing what am I and what does this mean for me. So again, 77, if you're in we are Alpha Femme. Get your gold card. You can get 50% off of it. It's going to be on Monday the 19th at 2:00pm Eastern Standard Time. And you'll get the the email replayed to you now. I did also add to our mission to millions a Shop With Me. So plot twist. We were supposed to close the group today and I've decided to extend it until Tuesday and to add a Shop With Me. So if you've never done a Shop With Me before, what a Shop With Me is first of all, an opportunity to watch me sell, which I do think is always very beneficial if you're in business to watch how I do it. But, but what it is is I basically talk about my programs, the Alpha Femme experience. And I do a lot of storytelling and it's cool to see how some of the the programs are tied into stories and it might give you ideas on how to sell your stuff or come because you're interested and there might be some programs that you want to do or come because you've been on the fence about Alpha Femme experience and you're like, am I making this move once and for all? And come see if this is the vibe. But there's storytelling. It's a good time. I always make it fun. Tons of of teaching moments. So, you know, bring your notepads and your pens. I'm going to be teaching in there. It'll be tons of gold. So if you want to come, it's going to be at 7pm tonight, but I will also send a replay for your convenience. So thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you so much and I will see you tomorrow for our last module.
They call me sassy when I'm scrolling down the street and I'm serving just the best Just the best they call me sassy When I'm smiling the dream.
