Currency - Module 1 Deepening

Sam. Hello, gorgeous human beings of currency. Let's see some of the comments this morning. Hello. So happy to be here. Hello, everyone. Melanie looks stunning. You look stunning. Thank you. Thank you. Good morning. I love you so much. I love you all. Oh, Maria, I love that yesterday's class was fire. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning, everyone. Good morning, beautiful human. So excited to be here. This container is magic. Good evening from Norway. Good morning. Grand rising. Good morning. All valuable, precious queens. Oh, I love that. What a transformative experience. Hello, everyone. Good morning. Good morning. Good afternoon. Hello, everyone. Hello. You look so beautiful. Oh, you're glowing. Wow. Thank you so much. Cass. I'm so excited you're here in person. First time in Zoom. Dana. That's so cool. Hello from Bordeaux. Sabrina. So good. Excited for this deepening. Hello. Hello. Good morning. How are you? More beautiful every day. The earrings are back. Yes. I'm still wrapping my head around yesterday. It's a big one. Loving the space you've created. I'm so happy. Thank you, Jay. Hello. Such a vibe. Good afternoon. Czech Republic, Cape Town, Portugal, in the house. Thank you for your leadership, dear Lenny, we're so blessed to have you. Thank you so much. Love this container. Grateful to be here. Good morning. Good morning. First time in Zoom. Yay. Natalie. Morning, Melanie. All classy. I'm still in PJs. That is fabulous. Kimberly, you forgot your fabulous chain that I'm obsessed with. Just felt like being bare necked today. Depends on my vibe. Love the discussion of responsibility yesterday. So excited to be with you. Currently pumping for my newborn, drinking tea. So excited to be here. What a badass. That's incredible. Thank you for the space. Good morning. Chilling from Charleston. Gratitude from Guadalupe. This is awesome. All right. Well, hello, gorgeous human beings. I am very happy to see you today. We have some really amazing questions. And before we dive into the questions, I want to do something with you because I think this is very important. So I'm going to have you just take a moment before we go into the questions and answers and I'm going to have you create a protective shield so that there's none of these questions that get you questioning yourself. Because there's sometimes people who ask questions and someone's like, I never thought of that problem. So we don't want that. So we're going to create a protective shield about just if the question is not meant for you and this fear has never crossed your mind, then you just listen to the coaching I'm going to give but don't get connected to the question. So we're going to first do that. So how we do that is you're going to sit really strong, straight in your chair, take a deep breath. And I just want you to remind yourself that you truly have your own mind. This is you have your own mind. You know what your questions are. You can be curious, you can be curious about what the answer is. But if you don't need this question, don't let it entangle with you, create a strength inside of you. These questions are meant to support me. I get to listen to the ones that matter to me. I can find value in every answer, but I don't need to find value in every question. Just get clear with this. This is your mind. This is your life. You're using this for your benefit. This is for your value. Okay? And the other thing I want you to get clear about is these answers are going to be from my experience. So I also want you to get clear that you are entirely allowed to disagree with everything I'm about to say. So very lightheartedly tell yourself this is a discussion where you get to listen to questions and answers and decide whether any of it is what you believe or not. And it's all okay. So I want you to honor your mind that you're allowed to decide whether this is the truth for you or not. Honor your heart that you only entangle with questions that benefit you. This is your experience, period. Breathe into that feel. Your strength, your independence, your ability, yourself. Remember who you are. And now we can begin. All right, so the first question that we have this morning is this one. It's from Tamra and she says I took massive action to be here yesterday. I upheld it today. Wiped away tears between meetings, viewed a brick and mortar space today interviewed people with a high intentional way of sharing the vision. I'm sitting down for an eight hour editing round. I bring immense value and sort and sort through tech and systems and learning an additional six to eight hours a day. Always I'm I've time shackled myself and I've made the bold decision to that no more clients for creative work. The doors are closed for the rest of the year. Those inside will have my heart and no more procrastination on the digital society that has been on my heart since 2011 and speaking out loud for two years and mildly promoting now for a few weeks it's going to be next level. I've dedicated priority time for landing pages and drafts and campaigns this weekend to begin really sharing it. Agency offerings will go associates and I can do more creative in person offerings with what pops up when I secure my space. I may have found it today. I've needed space and I need to get over needing a bigger portfolio or I've needed space and to get over needing a bigger portfolio to the point my boundary now is no more outsourcing my creative my creativity for money. For a while people can play and elevate a future sphere way that I've been holding off on my work is as important as my clients. I've procrastinated launching properly for months while I prioritize everyone else. I had become awesome at boundaries. They are my garland that I slipped down the slope. My question is what I suspect is is it okay to fall in love with hard is what I teach. And what I loved yesterday is that you value your words because it's because it's hard. It isn't necessarily bad. It's just if you're willing to do hard things, you get infinitely better at them and you elevate who you are and that you are the one and you carry even further. You carry that even further. So much hype in the industry is telling people that should be easy. And for me I resonate more with falling in love with the hard milestones. It feels like a passage I'd love your thoughts. So grateful for you today. So there's a few things in here when and I'm going to give you coaching on everything when it comes to these everything I find value to give you coaching on the reason I wanted to read this entire thing and some I will paraphrase. I'm not going to read them all the way I just did. But I want you to notice when you write a question when you're getting coaching, what you believe you need to say versus what is valuable for you to say are different. What I need to say and what is valuable for me to say are two different things. And so when you look at the beginning of it, although you you need to say that for me to understand the context of your life, it's not necessarily valuable for me to know that as with your question. So when you're writing your questions in coaching, ask yourself is it is it valuable for the answer that I'm asking for? Because I'll tell you, one of the number one things I've seen in coaching spaces, and this is for me as a participant as well, is the more information you give, the more reasons the coach that's reading it may think you're asking something that you're not asking. Like why would you share those things unless they were valuable. So when I first read your question, my mind was going into thinking about stuff that had to do with the beginning of your post when I realized that was not even your question. So sometimes it's good to ask a first draft because when you say everything you've got to say, you get it out and then you reread what you wrote and you say, now what's valuable to actually ask? That shows more succinct and you make sure you get the answer you want. So based on having read the whole thing, I am going to read the question that I have actually found in this. But I thought it was valuable to the group to give an example of how, although I would love to know every single thing about you, is it valuable for me answering your question that I know the whole context and this is going to help us because we have four of these calls and I think the questions will become better and better and better posed as we go and we'll get to speak about more and more and more. So this is a bad question. I'm actually glad this happened so I could use it as an example. Okay, so the question here. What is it okay to love hard? And this is a very beautiful question, and I would say that it really depends on what you value. So when in my life I've overcome things that were difficult for me, I find I value what I've overcome more. That's a personal truth of mine. I don't think that's the truth for everyone, but I know it's the truth for me. So if I say to someone, how did you do that? And they're like, oh, it was super easy. My inner response to that is often, oh, like, I actually value ease less than effort. That's me as a person. It's not everyone. Some people will hear it was easy and they'll go, it was, oh my gosh, show me how to make it easy, because that's what I value. So what's important to know is there are people on the planet that value ease, and there are people on the planet that value it took you everything to build this. None of them, neither one is right or wrong. So if you want to value this took me years. I worked so hard at this. You, I can guarantee you there is a 50% or more of the planet that's going to value that with you. And if you say this is the easiest thing in the world for me and you love that about it, there's 50% or more of the world that's going to love that for you. So it's not getting in your head of, just because some people value easy, does that mean hard isn't, is not valuable? No, that's not the truth. And some people value easy in some contexts and value hard in other contexts. So what's really important is that we stay true to our nature and what resonates as the truth in our body. Because there is nothing more powerful on earth than the frequency of truth. Now, the question, what if it's hard? Is an old paradigm that we've been used to, but we don't know easy. We want it, but we don't know yet. Then you would discover that along your journey. But I have had things that have happened to me easily. And although I've been grateful for them, I have not valued them in my body as much as the things that were difficult and that I know for a fact that's my own experience of life. So you're going to see it in your. You're going to see it in your life, you're going to see it in your heart. You're going to see I resonate with that, or I don't resonate with that. And it doesn't matter either way, because whatever your truth is will attract exactly what you need. So when, when we say there's hype in the industry saying it's going to be easy, it's because when people have found an easy way to do something, they want to shout it from the rooftops, which is beautiful. And if they're in alignment with that, that's great. The one distinction and the piece of discernment I would look at is that things feel easy after we've mastered them. And so when I think of, it was difficult for me to learn how to, you know, tie shoelaces. At first. It was difficult for me to figure out how do I tie this shoelace in the beginning. And then eventually I became very good at tying shoelaces. Then it becomes easy. But when I'm speaking to a little toddler that's learning to tie their shoelaces, I don't tell them, what's wrong with you. This is easy. You know, I might say, eventually it'll be easy. You'll see. You just got to figure it out. And then it becomes easy. But I think that there is something to be said about once it becomes easy for us. We know it can be easy. Like, I don't value everything in my. In my life is always hard, but I do value that once I've Overcome something. I didn't know what how to do it. And it was hard as I was figuring it out, then I knew how to do it. Now it's second nature to me. I love that transition. I love that it's like I had the willpower to do the thing that was difficult. I broke through, and now it's easy for me. I love that. And that's also why I feel that you're always going to have different kinds of people that agree in two different senses. Like, you will have the people who say, I love that it's easy because I understand there's things in my life that are easy. And then there's the other people who say, I want to know that you put effort into this. Because if it was just easy for you, then the fact that it's hard for me makes me not able to relate to you. So there's always going to be that duality. You know, you're never going to hit it on the head for everybody. There's just your truth, your embodiment of that truth, your alignment to that truth, and that's it. Like, I wouldn't want to have it be easy for me and pretend it's hard to impress you, then that's not the truth. And I wouldn't want it to be very hard for me and pretend it's easy to impress you, because that's also not the truth. But if it's hard and I'm proud of that, then that's the truth. And if it was hard and then it became easy and I'm proud of that, that's the truth. That's where we want to be playing in the truth. And in the truth, we're a match for everything. The next question. I went to Journal after class, which I've been putting off all day. And then I was like, no, I'm going to be more valuable and do more valuable actions. So I'll go. I'll go journal. And I realized how scared I felt to let go of my obsession about how to make money and make my business work and go do something that actually brings value to my life. My question is, and which probably comes from a scared place within me, how will turning my attention away from my business make more money? And I'm so grateful that someone asked this question, because what I said yesterday was, I want you to go take a valuable action about your business. That's what I said. I want you to go do a valuable action about your business. But if you don't know what a valuable action would be. And you're just like, I just don't even know what that would be. Then I want you to go take a valuable action in your life. Right. So what's interesting about the way this question was asked is how is me taking away time from my business to do something valuable in my life going to help me make more money? It won't necessarily. It could, but that's not necessarily how it works. It's just that there is a lot more value for you to go do something valuable in your life than to go do something that has no value in your business. Do you understand the difference? What happened for you is I said, go do something valuable in your business, and you said, I don't know what would be valuable in my business. So if you wouldn't have had this distinction, if I wouldn't have given that clarity, you would have gone and done something time consuming, busy in your head about business thinking, maybe that'll help something, knowing in your soul it's not valuable. But because I said, if it's not valuable, don't do it, you're like, oh, then I have nothing to do. And so this is such a beautiful insight because when we don't know what the valuable action is in our business, we've just found the issue as to why the business isn't generating the money we want it to generate. If you don't know what the valuable action is, that's why your business is at a standstill. That's why your raise is at a standstill. That's why your relationship is at a standstill. Wherever you don't know what the valuable action is, that's required in order for it to have the result that you want. You just found the problem. So I love living my life this way because the awareness of if it isn't valuable, it's not happening, makes me see like, if I'm not even if I don't even know what would be valuable here, then I've got work to do in the learning department, and that's okay. So if yesterday when I said, go do something valuable in your business, you were like, I don't think there's anything valuable I know to do. What that puts in your awareness now is that there's some learning in your business that's required. If someone says to me, melanie, go do something valuable in your business, I know that me going and adding an extra, you know, adding an extra masterclass for next month to my business and starting to work on the branding, the advertising, the marketing, that. That's a value. Me going doing a live stream where I explain a program or make an offer, that's valuable. Me booking a call in my Alpha femme experience and saying, I want to spend extra time here with you, that's valuable. Me scrolling through Instagram trying to get inspiration for real, but also getting stuck down a rabbit hole and not actually and forgetting why I was scrolling in the first place, not valuable. Me reading other people's content, wondering if my content's not is good enough, not valuable. Me looking at my branding and thinking I should change it, not valuable. Me looking at my pricing, wondering if I should change my pricing, thinking about the fact that I don't know how to change my pricing and then not changing my pricing, not valuable. There's things we do that we. It seems like we're working, but we're not. And a really great way to know this, and this is my favorite way, is if you were paying someone to do what you're currently doing, would you be mad? So if you have a person on your team and you're paying them a very good salary and you ask them, so what are you doing right now? And they say, I'm just looking through social media, seeing if anything inspires me to do something, how happy would you be about paying them in that moment? Be like. But if they're like, I am currently writing up a sales page for the next masterclass. It's coming. You're like, okay, perfect. So there's things that you're doing in your business, considering it as work, where if you were your own employee, you'd fire yourself. Those are the things that are not valuable. It's the things where if you're doing them, if you had an employee doing them, you'd be like, oh, good, perfect. Yes, thank you. This is brilliant. That's how you consider it, valuable? Okay. I contemplated this and made some decisions that I believe will change me and my business. Being even more attentive with the energy I put it in every post comment, client support. This is something that I've been wanting to do for a long time and somehow find myself not always going all the way in. My question is, by doing the more valuable thing, did you mean it for the people that I'm doing it for, or did you mean it like, what I believe is valuable for the people that are paying me or what I think they think is valuable? So basically the question is, am I doing what I think is valuable or am I doing what I think they think is valuable? So what I would love in this moment. Dana, I think you're on here right now. Right? You're on the zoom. I think I saw you before. Unless it was a different Dana. Different Dana. Okay, does anyone else resonate with this? Does someone else say, I exactly know what this feels? Okay, so, Cat, you're going. So I'm going to bring you up. Kat. Okay. I'm going to have a quick conversation with you. Okay. Let's see if I can mute you here. Ask to unmute. Hi. Good morning. Good morning. So I want to ask you a question. Yeah. What's the difference in your. Something in your business? What is your business, by the way? I'm a human design reader. Perfect. So let's say I say to you, I want you to go do something valuable for your business. And you're like, okay, but is this something valuable that I think is valuable, or is it something they think is valuable? What's the difference? Give me one action that you're like, I don't know if this is valuable to me or if it's what they think is valuable because I get stuck in the. I'm not enough. I don't know enough. And so is what I'm thinking is the right thing the right thing for, like, is it going to move it? Okay. The doubt comes in. So you remember how yesterday we were talking about when we're really doing this work, it's about my value, meaning how I. How I'm feeling and my. My positioning and then also what I bring to the marketplace. So what I'm hearing right now is that your. Your issue becomes, I feel like I don't know enough. I don't feel like I'm qualified enough. Yes. So what would be a valuable action to take when you're not feeling qualified enough? Get qualified. And so there's something you want to say. It's not usually the whole thing of human design that you're like, I'm not good enough. It's like, I want to make a post about this, and I feel like there's gaps in it. Yes. So what. What would be a valuable thing for you for your business and for your clients to do in the moment where you feel that the first thing is do it anyways. Okay. Do it anyways. And then if it feels like there's something missing, like it's. There's something missing here, what else is a valuable thing that you get to do? Find what's missing. Okay. So let's just put it out there, and the whole group can respond to this, but let's Say you did this. Yeah. Let's say you said, this morning I woke up with a message for you, something that I really wanted to share with you. And as I wrote it, I realized there's even more to it than what I'm going to share. So this is part one. And today I'm going to deepen my knowledge on this topic so that I can write a part two that's even more complete. So this is part one. And here I am studying, making sure I can deliver you a part two. It's out of this world now. For people in the group, if you were to see a human design post from a person who says, I wanted to write this post for you this morning, then I felt like there was even more. I'm studying even more. A second post that's even deeper is coming. What are the odds? You'll probably also read the second post. You can write in the comments, say, I would. I would learn Second post. Look at this. I would love this. Yes. Yes. Totally. Yes. Love it. Me. Yes. 100% yes, I would love this. So what we do is we either go, oh, I don't know enough. I should just go study. Yeah. And then you don't make the post. Right. Or you say, no, no, no, I'm getting in my head. I'm valuable. Let me make the post anyway. Yeah. And then I don't learn. And this is what we were talking about yesterday when I said our biggest issue with the school system is it taught us study first, then do. Yes. We're supposed to do both all the time at the same time. Okay. You're the strongest leader when you say, here's what I know, I feel I want to know even more for us. So I'm studying. I'm posting this and I'm studying. And I'm coming back with the even greater second part. This is what differentiates you from the rest. So instead of having these experiences inside where we're just like, oh, I'm not valuable enough, or is this good enough for them? Is it good enough for me? The realistic approach is like, I'm experiencing that I know something, but I don't know enough. I am so rare to care about that. You know how many people care about that on the planet? People are like, it's good enough. Go make money. The people who care, like, let me post this because for some people, it is going to be brilliant, but I already know it could be better. So let me study, and let me be honest about the fact that I'm studying, and let Me give them the added value that comes from what I learned. Now your universe is apart from everybody else. Does that make sense? Yes, 100%. Okay. Thank you for having this chat with me. I wanted someone I could rip on to show an example. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. All right, next question. Oh, and we're celebrating Ricky, because she went to her first Toastmasters and she spoke, which is awesome. So, you know, getting better at speaking. Now, this is another thing that's so important when you're doing things like, let's say you go to Toastmasters and then you speak. This is valuable because you're learning. But what would make it even more valuable? And I don't know if you did this, Ricky, maybe you did this. But after you leave Toastmasters, you open up your livestream on your phone and you say, I have been in a program where we've been talking about how important it is to sharpen our skills. And one of the skills I think is very important if I'm going to be a communicator, as I'm a coach and a mentor, is that I'm excellent with my speaking. And so today I went to a Toastmasters was the first time I ever did that. And I spoke on stage in front of everyone. And I just want to empower anyone that's watching this today. If there's a skill you feel is holding you back in your business, just go practice it. It makes the world of a difference. Have a beautiful day. That is learning and teaching at the same time. The goal for to increase our currency is to learn and execute closer together. But to be very honest about the fact that we're learning, it doesn't serve you to pretend you already knew it. It doesn't serve you to. To alter the truth. Today I had a speaking engagement. No, you didn't. You went to Toastmasters to practice your skills, but you did that, and most people aren't doing that. And why did you do that? Because you care. Because you care about. What's the message? Empower people to go learn a skill today, be the reason someone makes a move today that's valuable. Then people are like, I wonder what Ricky's doing today. Maybe she's going to give me some sort of inspiration that's going to make me move. Maybe she's done something that's going to inspire me today. And then eventually you have an offer out there, and they're like, this is the person that's made me make so many moves in my life. I think this is the person I'M going to choose when it's time to learn whatever skill from. So just so important that you don't only learn even in this program. Don't just learn. Learn and move. Learn and move. Learn and move as faster. The faster you can make those things happen together, the faster you're going to change, the faster you're going to evolve. Okay, next question here. I'm coming out of hiding and reached out to a couple of friends I desire to cultivate deeper relationships with. May I ask, how do we show up when we're going through something emotionally? It's during these times I doubt my worth and value to others. So the first question I would look at when you're feeling that, and I do very much understand is when your friends aren't feeling good, do you experience them as less valuable? Now if your response is yes, I do see them as less valuable, what I would look at is why? How do they behave when they're not feeling good? That makes them feel less valuable. So you might say, I find them less valuable because it feels like they're dark hole and nothing I say helps them and they're, they're not letting me in and miserable and I just feel like I'm just trying to help them and they don't care about my advice, care about my health, they don't care about my love. They're pushing me away and it's not fun to be around them. Okay, are you doing that? Yes. Okay, so it's not that you're emotional. That's the problem is the fact that you're basically leaning into your very friends and then not receiving any of their brilliance. Okay, you're right. So what would happen if your friend didn't feel good, came to you, you spoke to them and they listened to everything you said with gratitude and listening and like, gosh, you're brilliant. That's true. Then they would feel extremely valuable to you even when they're not feeling well. And so what if you just change the way you show up when you don't feel good? What if you let people pour into you and you let them feel valuable? This is another thing on the planet. Value sees value. Value sees value. If I feel like I am, I am unworthy and I'm not worth anything, the more you try to help me, I'm not even worth your help. I actually make you feel unworthy of yourself. But when you're helping me and I feel like, wow, I feel so valued. I feel so loved. Thank you for valuing me. I value your Help, I value you. And now you feel valued for valuing me. So receiving is just as important as offering. When it comes to currency, if you have money in your, in your, in your wallet and you go to a store to pay and they say, sorry, that currency is not accepted here, it doesn't matter how much you have of it, it's not accepted. And so help, love, support. These are all currencies. When they are not received, it sucks. So what you want to look at is are you receiving all the currencies in your life or are you only available for one kind of payment? And it's the one payment that people don't have for you right now and you feel like your whole life is going down. This is a very important thing to remember. I had seen one question here that I thought was very good question. I had another coach tell me, move at the speed of implementation. So here's, here's the thing. This is something I've been. I bet you anything that that that coach you had was a student of mine. So this is how, this is how I teach this concept. Because you've got to give the entire concept in order for this to land. What I explain is that innovation at the speed of thought means that you don't move. And what innovation at the speed of thought means is that you're thinking of what you should do next. But we're all very good at thinking how things are going to go. And so we think, okay, so what if I do this? Yeah, but then what if that happens? And so what if that that happens? Well, and then that'll happen. It's a lot faster to innovate at the speed of thought because you can disprove your ideas so fast. You have the idea of what could not work. You don't know for a fact it wouldn't work, but you don't want to mess up. So you're thinking of all the possible ways that it could not work. And you can poo poo an idea in your mind so fast, it's wild. Now, when you move at the speed of implementation, it's a very slower speed because you actually have to do the thing. It's kind of like I could fold laundry in a fraction of a second in my mind, take my shower, put my makeup on, leave, drive, get to the office. Whoa, I've done my entire morning in my head was not great. But when it's implementation, it has a different speed. And so moving at the speed of implementation actually makes it that you do what you're supposed to do instead of you just thinking of what you're supposed to do, burning time and not getting anything done. People get a lot of reward innovating at the speed of thought because it feels like they've had an achievement. I went, I thought about this so fast, I got it all figured out in my head. It feels rewarding to innovate at the speed of thought, but it only feels rewarding until you realize you haven't done anything. When you innovate at the speed of implementation, it's slower. But everything you think of or everything you do, every time you do it, you implement. At the end, you actually have a tangible result. So it's about being willing to not have the immediate, immediate gratification that comes with innovation at the speed of thought, actually leaning into innovation and saying, at the speed of implementation and saying, at least if I slow it down every time I think I move, every time I think I move, it might take me a little longer. But at the end, everything I've thought of, I've done. And that's what changes your life. What if we're two line and we're not here to learn? We already know. So then, so then we know, what do we do? So it's not true that a two line is not here to learn. That's not true. And I think a lot of people in the way that they utilize their human design is very is, it's a block is. The two lines are very intuitive. So there are things about you that are just intuitive that you might not even be able to see as a skill. But there are things that you don't know and that you don't know how to do and you either then need to learn them or hire someone else to do them. That's just life. It can't just be like, oh, I was a tool line. I was born with all the intellect of the planet. It's like, no, I was born with a two line. So there are skills that are mine that are excellent and I just don't even realize that they're super valuable because they're effortless. They're effortless to me. It's my effortless currency. But I have no idea how to do this or this or this. Those things you either learn or you hire support. I learned from you to allow them to be who they are and listen to them. Thank you for this. Teaching makes me happy. Okay, now this question is very important. Now. It's a very, it's a long story. So I'm going to make it Shorter for us here. What about experiencing before implementing a shamanic healer? As a shamanic healer, though, you would, you would not be healing, let's say your website, you know what I mean? Like, there's certain things where this applies to you in your own, in your own line of work. But there are other things outside of the actual practice of your work. Like let's say I'm a shamanic healer and I want to be known on the Internet and I've got to create a body of work on the Internet. There is no amount of just experiencing that's going to create a page on the Internet. I still have to implement it. So you have to have the differentiation here in what, what I'm saying that you need these things in. And where, you know, you know your stuff, you know, that's where the. I know myself and this question applies to me or it doesn't comes in because there's places where this doesn't apply to you at all. And there's other places where you're like, oh, yes, okay, I see what you mean. So it's just looking for where it lands. Now, this question is really about a person who. First of all, it's a difficult question. I want to really give you guys a lot of love for difficult questions that you ask when it feels embarrassing and vulnerable. Because the embarrassing and vulnerable questions are the ones that we tend to avoid the most. They're the ones that benefit us the most to ask because an external perspective comes in without all of this negative self talk. So I really want to, I really want to say congratulations to all of those who've been very vulnerable here. So when you have in your life a traumatic experience and changes your, your state of being, this, this happens. It happens to all of us. You may be in an altered state for a certain amount of time. And if you understand and this is difficult, what I'm going to say, and you may not land with this. This may, you may not like this. It may not be for you, but I'm going to tell you, this is my experience of life. I think that there is always maturity that comes with life. We've got to be mature in some way. And the maturity comes with the sitting with our emotions. It comes with the realizing that everyone has pain. It comes with the realizing everyone has trauma. It comes with the realization that no one's perfect. It comes with the realization that there is no perfect human, that there is no one that's got it figured all out. There's just people who know things and who are willing to share or people who don't know things and who are willing to learn. Like when you actually take away all of the. The fairy tale of perfection that a lot of people put on their lives, you realize we're all walking with pain. And so no one is perfect. And no one is expected to be perfect except to people who think it's still possible to be perfect. And whatever pressure they're putting on you to be perfect, they also put on themselves. There is no person that is actually successful and fulfilled in their life that's expecting perfection from you. There's only people who expect that from themselves and beat themselves up every day and struggle with it so much that they need someone else to show them it's possible because they need to believe that it's possible to be perfect. Now, we live in a world where perceived value is a very difficult conversation because different people perceive different values about everything on this planet. I may need to cough. Give me one moment. Thank you for this. So different people perceive value differently. And we live in a world right now where it has never been easier to tell people about what they perceive as valuable or not. So you can just very easily drive by someone's social media post and be like, this sucks, you know, or this is amazing. Like, you can just drive by, give your opinion everywhere. That's difficult. People perceive different kinds of value for different things. Oh, my gosh, you're such a badass. You're so successful. Who cares about your money? Stop talking about money. Oh, my gosh, your body's so hot. You're amazing. You're so gorgeous. Oh, my God, you're so superficial. Who cares about your abs? Go put a shirt on. It's. It's the same. It's the same thing everywhere. Like, people, you know. Good for you. You seem so confident in your skin. I would be ashamed if I were you. How could you possibly wear that when you look like that? This is the whole world we live in. And so what we're struggling with right now is the perceived value based on other people's value system. And that's something that requires a lot of emotional intelligence and a lot of strength. What a lot of people are doing right now is completely avoiding the possibility that other people with perceived values different than theirs could even see them out of fear that those values will clash. I've done this at different levels of my career. I've wanted to just be like, if you don't like me talking about money, then I'm just going to go and talk to my clients behind the scenes and just stop posting about it and stop talking about it. Because my perceived. The value of talking about money in my world is very high, and in my clients it's very high. But I'm. I'm kind of exhausted with the perceived experience of other people that there's no value and I should be quiet. That's exhausting me now. There are things that are less personal and things that are more personal. Like if you have an obsession with gummy worms and you keep talking about it and people tell you you're ridiculous, that hurts a little less than when someone tells you that what they don't agree with is your health, your looks, your weight, your. Your choice of how you raise your kids, your marriage. Those are things that then start to feel like I'm showing myself so vulnerably. And there's people with different value systems that are coming in here and that are really disagreeing with me. And so the world has. This person is particularly asking in. As things relate to her weight, having been through a trauma and then having gained weight. And this is such a sensitive topic because there's people who really just have a. Oh, they've cracked the code in how to take care of their bodies in a way, like it's even healing for them to do that. They. They love taking care of themselves. It feels good for them to do that. They cannot comprehend a person that struggles with their weight. It's impossible. It's like the same way I said to rich people who are rich don't understand people who don't have money. It's like, I don't understand. Unless a person has struggled with their weight and then lost weight, it's very, very difficult for them to understand what the struggle of finding your health is. They don't understand what it is. And it's the same conversation, the same conversation I'm having with you. Currency around money, currency around health is the same thing. If you were born healthy and you've never struggled with your health, it's almost impossible for you to understand what it feels like for a person who struggles with their health to then try to get their health back. It's impossible. It's like you live in two different universes. And then there's the people who've lost all the weight that want to scream from the rooftops how they did it. And it doesn't necessarily mean that their way is going to be the correct way for you, but they want to tell everybody how they did it, and they believe they can help people that's how. How the coaching world has gotten to be. People with different currencies, whether it's money, whether it's health, whether it's relationships. When they've broken through something that was so difficult and now it's easy for them, they want to tell people about it. That's a beautiful thing, but it creates conflicting values. It's not because your entire life is not perfect all the time, that you are not a valuable person. But you get to say to yourself, do I value this part as a priority in my life right now? Yes or no. And you've got to be super honest with yourself. There's a difference between I wish I was fit or I wish I looked a certain way versus I value the work it takes to get the result that I want. Those are two very, very, very, very different things. And so if you're. If you say, right now, I value my marriage, I value my business, I wish I had a different body, but at this point in my life, I know that I don't value the work it takes to do that, then that's you being honest. And then you can turn the page. When people are saying whatever they're saying, because you are, you have made a decision for your life. When you don't want to be rich, when you don't care about being rich, but you want to be healthy and you want to have an incredible marriage and. And instead of getting mad at all the people who are focused on money and business, and you just say, look, this is not. This is not what I'm valuing right now. I don't value the effort it takes to create a business. I don't value the effort it takes to create a brand. That's not what I want to do right now. So there will always be people who judge you for how much money you make. A lot or not a lot. There will always be people who judge you for how much social media impact or influence you have. Whether it's a lot or not a lot. There will always be people who judge you for the way you look, the way. They will always be that. But what is the most important is your known value. Your perceived value will always be at play. Always. Throughout all of your life. It will always be. It will always be contemplated. Because your perceived value is from people who don't know it. The only person on this planet who knows your value is you. Everyone else perceives it. And what really helps people perceive your value is that you know it. So when you start to wonder if your value is less because you're making less money or because you're not as healthy or because you're not doing well in your marriage. If you start to let that mean that you're not valuable, you will attract people who wonder if you're less valuable. That will happen, but not because you're less valuable, because your value is perceived that way. Then there's also people who get angry. Like, I. I didn't let myself, and this is a big one. I didn't let myself be successful when I had weight to lose. You know, I'm not letting myself be successful. And here you are successful and you've got weight to lose, and it's working for you. And I don't think that's allowed. I don't like that because I'm not letting myself have that and you have that. So I'm not happy with that. If it's like you, you're a mother and you have kids, and I have not let myself have kids because I'm working so hard. But you're a mother and you have kids, and I'm mad at that because you have both, and it's not fair. Or you. I'm not letting myself be rich because I'm a mom and you're a mom and you're rich. You must be a bad mom because you can't do both. Because I don't believe I can do both. So you can't do both. And it's just recognizing most of the time when people are doing that, it's not your perceived value. Doesn't even have anything to do with your value. It has to do with their limited value. Value sees value. The more you know what you're capable of, the more you see what other people are capable of. And this is really how I got here. In my work. It's like, I see your power. I see my power. So we're going places together, period. Like, I know you can do it because I know I can do it. So we're doing it and that's it. Like, there's no question for me. But if I was like, I don't know. Are you good enough? I'm not sure. Then. Then we wouldn't have the same connection. But it's because I know you can do it because I did it. And there was no odds of me doing it at all. None, Zilch. There was none. So if I can do it, and I've helped so many clients, that was not written in the stars for them at all to do this. Like, people who came into My world with absolutely no reason on earth to believe they'd ever become financially free who've become multi, multi, multi, multimillionaires. It's like, we can do this, period. I don't care. I have. I don't care. I don't care who tells me what or why or how. I don't care if you believe that you don't. You can't do it. I won't argue with you. But I also don't believe you. But I won't argue with you. But you can believe whatever you want. But I don't believe you. And so my. Your perceived value to me is extremely high. But my perceived value of me is extremely high. You see, that's. That's where the. That's where the magic happens. If my perceived value is of me is very low, then I have two choices. I either say, if I can't do it, for sure, you can't, or I put you on a pedestal, and I say I can't. But you're so perfect. Of course you can. Either way, I'm dehumanizing you. And I'm. I've either put you on a pedestal or I've thrown you off. It doesn't really matter. So what we're really looking to do is see the value in people. Like, it's not a questionable thing. People are valuable, period. They're capable, period. When you start to talk to people like that, it changes the game entirely. The old paradigm was very much put yourself in a position of power, make people feel like they're inadequate, make them feel like they need you, and then they'll choose you. That's not working very much right now, thank God. People are looking for people who see their power that they can walk with. And, and the more you're able to do that, the better you're going to be. And the people who still struggle with the old paradigm, they're bullying, they're scared, they're saying mean things to people. They're trying to, like, show superiority by discrediting stuff and pointing out flaws. It's like, that's a very old model. There's a new model. People want to calibrate. Good. We're going places, and everybody else can figure it out. So now, because old paradigms do not need to die for new ones to be born. So my biggest. My biggest gift for you in this conversation is really just let yourself be valuable to you. No matter what happens in your life. If there's seasons that you're very wealthy in, seasons where you're struggling. If there's seasons where your marriage is going great and there are seasons where your marriage isn't through thick and thin, through sickness, and in health, vow that for yourself and you'll make it through everything. Don't change your value for perceived value. Get clear on what you know, and don't let anything change that. And when people don't have the inner strength to trust in other people's value, that's a them thing. Okay, next question here. Okay, I'm going to shorten this because I read the whole context and for the group, this is the part I think is important. I have an extensive art education, and I graduated with a master's of fine arts from a prestigious goldsmith university and have many exhibitions as an art student. But there was never any money involved and all the money I ever made was very little. However, I've been generous and I've been generously supported and sponsored to pursue my art career and this far sabotage my success. I know that this is about to change now completely, and I'm very happy. Thank you, Melanie, for showing up at this pivotal time in my life. How can I effectively develop and ground in the feeling of making money with my art when this is totally a new feeling? So what I want to bring forward with this is the understanding of currency. So if I make art and you have an art studio and you tell me I'm not going to charge you a penny and you can put your art in my studio, do you realize that had someone paid me just enough money for one of my paintings to be able to pay you to put my art on your wall, this would have been the exact same currency. It would have been the same thing, just with one extra person involved. Whether I can put my art up in your studio for free or whether I have to sell a painting to then receive money to then give you the money for the studio, if I get to put my art in your studio, that's a currency itself. Your the fact that you have the studio and that my painting ends up on the wall if I didn't need to pay it, that's a currency. Now finding a location is. Is something that people have to pay. Kevin and I had someone come and knock on the door of our island the other day and was like, we're looking. We want a movie. This is exactly where we'd like to film it. Can we come look at your property? They're contemplating, you know, paying to just film something on. On our property, because that's the vibe of what they want. In their movie, if I just said to them, you can have it for free. You can film here, no problem. That would be a currency for them. If I charge them to do it, they've got to make the money. They pay me somewhere else. So now they've got to sell something elsewhere, get someone to pay them, then pay me, then have the property. It's always currency, whether it comes through money or whether it comes through support. And so when you get that art gallery, instead of saying to yourself, well, that wasn't money, you could say, how much money did I say? How much money did I receive, really, in getting the space? I just made this amount of money, and I didn't touch it, but I made it. When you have someone who's like, I have a list of contacts and I'm going to send people to come look at the art, you know how much advertising and marketing costs? A lot. How much does it usually cost to put on an art exhibition? Who usually has to put it on? Who do you need to pay? Who you need to market an advertisement? Need to do any of that? So you want to start seeing the currencies you have as monetary currency as well. This is going to be a big thing. Like when I the other day I received a free coffee. And it makes me so happy when I receive free things like that. Because first of all, it makes me realize when I had no money and I was miserable because there was a time where I was broke and happy, and there's time I was broke and miserable. But when I was broke and miserable, I never received anything for free. And if I had received something for free, there is a very big chance that I would have seen it. Like, that person pitted me and thought I was a charity case. And I don't need anybody's help now. I could buy all the coffee, and instead someone's like, it's on me. The barista gave us the coffee. Both of us, Kevin and I gave us the coffee. Like, why? You guys are great. Just on me. What? I could have bought this coffee. I could have bought Kevin's coffee. Instead, I received a coffee. But I received even more than monetary because I received a different currency, which is appreciation for who I am. And I can tell you that the more money you make, that is a currency that you really want. Because it's so easy for people to just put you on a pedestal and want to give you stuff because you're rich. Oh, you're successful, you're rich. Here's a sample of my fitness stuff. Try it and if you like it, it's always attached to something. But when it's like, here, because I love you, here, because you're great, here, because I feel happy giving to you. Oh, my gosh, that is such an incredible currency. I love that currency. So you want to notice where are you receiving things for free? And your mind is telling you, I don't know why it isn't coming through with money yet. And the reason it's probably not coming through with money yet is because the way you're experiencing the gift is not a double experience. It's a single experience. So I don't want you to all of a sudden start saying, okay, I'm going to barter my whole life away, like, in exchange, okay, I'm going to exchange my coaching for a cow, and then I'm going to exchange the cow for a table. And then I'm going to exchange the table for, like, we don't. That's not. That's not what I'm saying. But I'm saying can the. Can the cow be money represented and a cow both? Can the table be a table and money represented both? Can you see the monetary value that goes with the thing you got for free as well, and see it as money as well as a gift? Because as you start to mend your relationship with money, money will start to come a lot easier. And I will tell you, if you start to see that there's people who believe in you and that's why you're getting the sponsorships, it'll change the way you speak. Because if I hear an artist that says, this entire event was sponsored by this gallery and this entire event was sponsored by this, and I got all this support and this and this and this and this, I want to go and see the artist, like, who believes in this artist this much? I want to go. So you've got to believe in your art for the long term game. Whether your art is a painting on the wall or whether your art is your craft and your business. And you've got to believe every time someone's, like, wanting to invest time, energy, money and attention on you, that is a currency that is worth contemplating. When I do my free master classes and people come to the master classes, that is the currency of attention and time. Those are extremely valuable. We only have 24 hours a day. You have so many thoughts in your head and you choose to give me your attention, your time, your focus in a free masterclass so I can talk to you about things. What an incredible opportunity. And then maybe they also invest money, maybe they also invest something else, but before they've even done that. If I'm not grateful for the attention and the time, what are the chances more currencies develop? It all comes with great gratitude for what is gratitude for what is, and the expansion of that creates more. When good times are good, the rare and the unique people feel gratitude. Because when good times are good, most people take that for granted. And when hard times are hard, the unique and the rare people lead. When hard times are hard, normal people just wait until leaders lead and things go back to normal. So in good times, celebrate and be grateful. And in hard times, lead and you will be unique and rare always. You'll stand out as that. Not only will you be it as a person, but you will be perceived as that, as perceived value as well. So notice the incredible opportunities that are actually brought to you and start leading with those, because this is a very unique opportunity. I have never heard in all of my career of an artist that has given me this particular scenario. And I can tell you, if it would have been the case for some of the artists I've worked with, they would have been over the moon. They all had to pay for their own locations. No one was ever given sponsorship. This is new. You've got to feel that in your body, someone believes in you, someone wants to support you. That's worth even more than money at the beginning. Trust that. Okay, next question here. I'm going to also shorten this one because it's a long one, but it's a very, very valuable question. So there are two different experiences of money in our lives. And there's the, the value of, like, I get paid for my work, but there's also the value of, like, I have money to do what I want to do, especially as it pertains to, like, my kids or my parents. Like, if your kids are. Are wanting something for Christmas and you don't have the money, that tends to feel like it's impacting your worth as a person or your value as a person who's like, what kind of mom am I that I can't give my kids what they want for their birthday or for Christmas. If your parents are struggling and you can't give them financial support, you're like, what kind of daughter am I? I haven't figured out this freaking thing that I can't just give them. Like, what's wrong with me? That's where it starts to become a person. It becomes, it's me. I'm the problem. Instead of still it being a money thing. So there's a few things I want to help you untangle with this, but this we will be deepening in the program. So I don't want to go too far into this, but I want to open your mind on when. When we look at the cycles of life, what we realize is that we tend to learn always through what we have and what we don't have. So out of curiosity, who here in this group had parents who struggled with money, but have now a deep desire to make money and understand the importance of making money? Say me or raise your hand if this is you. Okay. There's a lot of people. So because your parents didn't have the money, you were born with a desire to learn and to care about being valuable in the world, the marketplace. You have a passion, you have a vision. Do you know of. You might need to rack your brain for this a little bit, but do you know of a person who was born into money and who is entirely purposeless? They were born into money and they have no idea what they're supposed to do with their life. They are not. They're not passionate about anything. They're just like, I don't know. Like, I don't really care. I don't. I don't really know. So these are two extremes. Okay, so there are the people that are gifted everything and they're given everything. But because there's no reason to care about anything, because they've got everything, they don't turn out great. There's people who have nothing and then get really mad and do terrible things, which is not us. But then there's people who have nothing and find the value of money and come and learn. And so what I want you to recognize is that even if you had all the money in the world to give to your family or all the money in the world to give to your kids, you would encounter another problem. And I don't say this to depress you, because I love you and this is not supposed to depress you. I'm telling you this because there is no such thing as the perfect scenario that doesn't exist. Life is all about duality. So on the day that you figure out the money thing, you're going to then have to figure out how to keep your kid grateful for stuff. When they take everything for granted, it's going to just be a whole other thing. So instead of worrying about your worth or your value and your ability to help and support in one area or another, continue to care about your value. In your kids life. And you will always do something that makes it that they are a strong, capable person as they grow up. If your kids become as interested in growth and in the world and in business as you are today, would you be proud of them? So instead of making it easy for them, make it that they believe in themselves and same thing for your parents. I think the greatest gift you can give your parents is the gift of having them know that you're okay. For those of you who are parents here, if you can agree with this, if you can just agree with this, your kids, you do not expect them to grow up and take care of you when they grow up. What you hope is that they will be okay. And if you thought that their failures of in life and how they feel is that they're inadequate in being able to give you and provide for you, that would make you feel worse as a parent rather than better. So your gift to your parents is to be proud of yourself and your gift, your value to your parents is to be proud of yourself and to say, I'm who I am because of us and I'm proud of me and I'm continuing to work on me. That's the greatest gift you can give your parents. If on top of that you've got extra money, then you give them salt, that's fantastic. But that's not why they love you and it's not what they expect from you. And if they thought that you liked your life less because of that, they would feel like a failure. So you're not helping them by making this your mission. Your value to your parents is to become the greatest version of you so that they can go knowing they did a good thing even if they didn't nail everything. And the greatest thing you can do for your kids is show them the value of being resilient, of being kind, of being strong, of having boundaries, of having passions, of caring, of wanting to do things in this world. And the money, if it's meant to be for them, they will find it. It will come for them. Now when it comes to the basics, to provide basics, we're going to do that together. Like this program is about having you really let go of all of this crap that's making it impossible for you to be realistic with money. You've got these stories that are so intense and they're, they're not real, they're not true, and they're not helping you. The story about who you should be for your parents and who should be for your kids and who should Be for everybody. Like, this is what's keeping you so stuck. The reality of the situation is you just need to set yourself free, and everything is going to go in motion. You've got to be valuable to yourself and the people around you. And then the money comes. It does. I promise you. But the more you think the money is the value, the further away you are from getting it. Because on the day that you believe that money is the reason you're valuable, and then the money comes, you will believe that that's true, and it will be very hard for you to ever not believe it. I really believe the reason I needed to detach myself and my value from money was so that when the money came, I knew it didn't make me worth anything more or less. If it would have come when I needed it to validate me, I would have always thought that's what made me me. But if the money went, I wouldn't be less of me. I would still be a valuable person on the planet. I get that now. So what we want to detangle is the fact that if you were to receive money while you're at your lowest mental state, you would attach money as the reason you're okay. That's not good. We don't want that. We want money to be the thing that we have, because we have it, because we can make it. Because. Because it's a tool. Because it's money, because, of course, you get to have it. So all these stories about, if I had money, I'd be worth it to my parents, and if I had money, I'd be a better parent. All that has got to go so that you can actually be valuable to your parents and valuable to your kids and have money. If not, you have money, and the two things that matter most go down the drain. So I really want to help you see that so that when you get the money that you're gonna get, you're like, holy crap, she was right. I can't tell you how many messages I received from past clients that really tap into big money and are like, melanie, now that all the money is here, I'm like, holy. You were right. Like, I hear it now. I see it now. Like, I get it all. I see it all. You are so right. Like, you're a prodigy or freaking genius. Like, I know it was hard for me to hear it when I needed it, but, like, I get it now, you know? Like, you just. You said it all along. You said it all along. Like, you told me you told him. Like, I know, I know. It's the greatest celebration of my life. On the day that you get it, you'll be like, holy crap. That woman told me, she told me this. She. I knew this in my soul because I'd heard this before. I promise you this is the truth. If you let go of the things that make this hard, then you will be so proud of yourself for having overcome the difficulties of your own mind. But you will realize how easy it is on the other side. But it won't be that it was easy all along. There's stuff we need to decondition. We're in a world that it really serves the world for us to feel mediocre, not good enough, and to try to do every single thing they tell us to do to feel like we belong. It serves a lot of people that have disempowered, people running with their, like a chicken with their head cut off. So not a lot of resources for you to actually free yourself. That's why we've got to be the one that helps the people. It's like once you're set free, you help the people. That's what the coaching industry is actually an amazing place when, when you have a heart centered, real person that cares about what they're doing is. It's like, I got out. I want to show how I got out. And that's what really coaching is supposed to be. And it's like, I can't, I can't tell you that my way of getting out is going to be your way of getting out. But I can definitely tell you I got out. And this is how. And that's, that's the greatest thing about this work. Okay, the next question here. I have a pattern of mostly receiving money through my husband, I'm rich in love currency, and I'm desiring to generate more money through my own business. Now, is there a perspective shift that I'm missing for context, I've supported his career advances through the years by managing the home, the kids. Our marriage is amazing. And I pinch myself because I'm so lucky and incredibly grateful. Now this. I'm so grateful someone asked this question. This is such an important question because the perspective shift is in the question. You know how I said before, when you write the whole question, you've got to ask yourself, is it valuable for me to tell the whole thing? Sometimes it is. You're going to realize I need to tell the whole thing. It doesn't make sense without it. Other times you'll say it was, it was valuable for me to write the whole thing so I could get to my question. I don't think Melanie needs the beginning. I needed it to get to my question. Then you delete the beginning, you keep the end. But in this, here's the breakthrough. I'm desired to generate more money in my business on my own, But I mostly receive money through my husband's work. What does that have anything to do with anything? I mostly received my money through my husband's work, but I want to make money in my business. How are those things related to you? This is where sometimes we realize, like, we make knots where there are no knots. That's like me saying, so I woke up this morning and got out of bed, but I really need to go to the supermarket. Or like, I made toast this morning, but I really need to comb my hair. If I make one connected to the other, I'm going to spend the rest of my day going, I wonder how I untangle this knot that never needed to be made in the first place. The fact that you receive money through your husband is extraordinary. Most of my clients are saying this to me. Why is it that in every relationship, I'm the one providing? Why can't I manifest a man that also makes money? Why can't I just manifest a partner that also makes money? I make money. I've always been able to make money, but I cannot manifest a partner that makes money too. You're over here with already the partner that makes money. You just want to make money in your business. These are not connected. It is not like, because I manifest money through my partner, I don't manifest my. My business. It's like I have the skill of manifesting money in my or a partner in my life, and that that makes money. I'm grateful. I love that. That's amazing. And I'm also excited to start my business. Like, these are two side by side great things, not one causing the other. But I know that in our mind we'll say, look, I have been such a supporter. I've been there. Every time I put attention my partner's business, it grows. But then I try to put attention on my business, and it doesn't. Why is that? Probably because you've tangled them. Probably because instead of saying, that's one thing, that's one currency that's extraordinary. Now let me really work on this currency. I always feel like I need to say, this currency works, but this one doesn't. And it's the but this one doesn't that makes the other one not work. It's the but the problem's. The. But the problem is the connection that maybe there's something wrong. Because if there was nothing wrong, it would have been as easy for you to make the money as for him to make the money. So what I would say is because you've connected them, there's probably a connection. Is there or has there ever been a fear that if you out earned him, the dynamics would change? Is there or has there ever been a story or as there you love your marriage, you love all the things, but is there a part of you that was like, if I didn't feel the way I feel in this marriage where I'm so taken care of, would I feel the same about my partner? Is there something like will we have issue? Our marriage is so beautiful. If I start making money, will it change the marriage? If I all of a sudden become successful, will it bother him? If I become. If I become successful all of a sudden, will I still have time for all the things that we have time for? Now I would look for under the surface beliefs that attach these two things together because when we look at them like this, there isn't one. There isn't something. Let me just see. Aha. I get it. I don't want to disrupt the good. This is how this is connected. So when you say my marriage is great, my partner's making money, I want to make money now what if me making money disrupts the amazing marriage? So what's going to be so important for you in this instead of sabotaging, which is what we do, is to say what are the most valuable parts for both of us in this marriage that are present with our current dynamic? And how do I make sure that as I prioritize as well my business that those, those values don't get compromised, that who I am in my marriage doesn't change, that the dynamics that we have are prioritized and that I add the business. That's how we do it. Instead of fearing what if things change, you look at what the value is that's making things work and you preserve the value. There is space around all the things that are working in your marriage that don't matter. Space and time, that's just dead space that if you were to move with that space, it wouldn't even touch your marriage. That's where you've got to invest your time. Notice where the value is in the spaces that are working and make sure you preserve that value and use the space around it to do the new things you want to do, to Add more things into your life. It's almost like there's a feeling I have to give up money through my partner to make money in my own business, which is also not true. Right. So this is where we'll notice. Sometimes our minds just give us. When we're asking questions, we very rarely receive the answer in our own mind. It's like a brain surgeon can't give themselves brain surgery. So you're thinking in your head, like, maybe this is why. Maybe this is why. Maybe this is why. The thing that's why probably won't jump up in your face. You've got to just talk about how you feel with another person who doesn't have the same belief as you. That's the best way. That's the fastest way. Because here's the other thing. And I actually wanted to say this at the beginning of the call, and I forgot. So I will set this as well as we're doing these Q and A's. Even if you did not listen to what I'm telling you here, even if you weren't present for these conversations, it's very possible that you would probably find the information I'm telling you with within the course of your life. If you cared about this work, like, you would learn this stuff. It's just, how long would it take you to learn it? How many lessons would it take you to learn it? The thing with coaching is it's not like, I'm a prodigy and you're immortal and you come here to learn from me. It's that you get time back. That's the biggest thing. Most the clients that have worked with me, it's the. When it lands, they're always like, if I would have just known now what I know with you, if I would have just known then what I know now would have changed my life. Like, if I would have known it then. So what the real value is is that you know now instead of knowing later. And you get all these years back, all these years that you would have taken to try to figure it out. But this is not about. You never would have figured it out. It's just. It's the fastest way to figure it out. And so you asking yourself questions and trying to figure it out is the slowest way of you figuring it out. You having a discussion with someone who has an entirely different experience than you, that's the fastest way to figure it out. Because when they tell you what they believe and you measure it up against what you believe, something goes. As long as you care about being Wrong. Or you're open to being wrong. Because if you're like, I want to have a discussion with a person who has a different reality than me, but I need them to understand my perspective, then that doesn't work. But if it's like, just let me tell you my story, and you tell me what you see and I tell you what I see, and you're like, never would I have looked at it like that right now. Then you collapse time around the answer. And that's what the real value of mentorship is. Okay, now this one, I think, is very important for a lot of people, and it is a long story, so I'm gonna. I'm gonna give you a synapse of it. So this person has had a tumultuous relationship with some important people in her life. Her mom, her ex. And there's the move yesterday that was valuable was to reach out to both of them and have a conversation. But the question pertains to the X. And the question is, this person is very difficult to trust. She wants to co parent with him in the most beautiful way. But there's a problem. And the problem is that he lies about money. He always says, buying more money, I would help and I would support, but I don't have any more. And so she recently found out that $25,000 of her tax refund ended up in his bank account. And he never told her, and he spent the whole thing. Now, because it's her money, she found out that it was deposited there and he spent the whole thing and never told her. So obvious. Is this the first time he's ever received more money and not helped? Probably not. This is very difficult. And it's difficult because it doesn't change the fact that this person still very much values the currency of relationship and co parenting their children. Just because this person is terrible at the currency of money does not mean that we no longer value the currency of co parenting. If you are separate, if you're separated and you have kids, you know exactly what I mean. The more your ex misbehaves in one area, the harder it is to stand for the area that matters. It's like, I still want to co parent with you healthfully. You're just making it so hard because now I'm mad with you in this other area. So there's one thing that's always so important when it comes to exes, and it's the thing of, like, if they were great for you, you would still be together. So the first thing, when people do things that remind you while you're why you're not together anymore is you breathe and you say so grateful for the validation that it is better off that we are not together. Because I'm glad I'm not constantly reminded I made a mistake that would have said sucked. Thank you, universe. Thank you, God. Thank you, Mother Nature. There's a reason we're not together anymore, and it hurts more to regret the decision. If you were Prince Charming, perfect guy, all of a sudden, doing everything he didn't do while you were married, that would be a lot harder to live with. You'd be like, where was this person when I was the wife? Why is this happening now? Instead it's like, thank you for the reminder that we are better off apart now. This is why it's so important for us to be financially free. Because money is one of the biggest creators of war between people, between families, between countries on the planet. It is not unique that you and your ex are fighting around money because literally countries kill people over money. Like it is the. It is the currency of war. The top currency of war is money. So when there's conflict around money, it's very difficult. But what people forget, and this is the thing that has been my, my message since the beginning is fighting over money costs you more energy than making more money. I don't want you to be taking, taking advantage of. You'll need to learn leadership and you have to have a conversation. And, and this is why these skills are so important. It's not just about making money. It's also about becoming an extraordinary leader and having a lot of emotional intelligence and being able to communicate effectively and be able to hold your ground in conflict. These are all skills that have to go with making a lot of money or else you'll lose it all. But what's going to matter here is to know that there is no amount of fighting with him that will make you more money than you. Being proud to be you and grateful you're separated and knowing you made the right decision and going and doing your business because you're the freaking one. You will make the money way faster remembering all of that than you will fighting with him. And you also set your boundaries and you also get to have a conversation where we don't want to tangle it when we don't want to tangle things is saying things like, there must be something wrong with me because I'm attracting that a person doesn't want to pay me properly. That's not the case. What it is is we're constantly on our journey through wealth. And this is everyone on the planet and every nation, every city, every country, the whole planet. How do I hold my power when one of the most important currencies in my life is being threatened? That's actually the question. Because the people who are able to hold their power when their most important currencies are being threatened, they're the leaders of the world. They're the ones who make all the money. They're the ones who have all the power. They're the ones. So let me just see this because I got a feeling when I saw it. What if they're bad with money and you still want to be with them? You still get to have your own money and be. Be the one. So here's, here's the fact. I've seen so many marriages end over money. Not because there's anything wrong, just fighting over money. I personally, this is really the truth, and we're going to go into this more in some of the modules. But like, I. I would rather just be so rich that no one has to worry about money in my life. I want to fight about money. That's not, that's not the vibe. Like, I just. I just believe that I love people and that there are so many different reasons I'm with them. Like, when Kevin and I met, we were both entirely broke. Entirely. I did not expect him to be rich ever. I just expected us both to struggle forever. If I'm being very honest, I did not expect either one of us would be rich. We could hope, but I did not think. And so him being rich is not one of the currencies, but him being aware, awake, conscious, present, loving, confident, powerful. Those are all currencies that were there even when he had nothing. And if those were to go, we'd be in trouble. This is where you're going to see in your relationship, like, did you marry a person that gave you financial freedom and then lost their job and now you're struggling? That's difficult. But if you married a person that didn't have money, you're just realizing you wish you had money. Go make money. There is an old paradigm thought that the men should be the providers of money. I believe that the provider of money should be the person who knows how to make magic money. And so if you're in my world, let's just nominate you that role for the time being. And if you have fun doing it and your partner gets interested, then we'll work with him as well. We'll work with them as well. Work with her as well. But the most important thing in this conversation is that the person who becomes awakened to the understanding that magic money is way more pleasant than any other kind of money. That's the one that needs to make the moves and start playing to win. So you get to be in a relationship where both of you make money. If that's what you want 100%, you get to have that. I just find it sad that marriages end over. There wasn't enough money, and we just couldn't. We just couldn't do anything but fight about it. And especially when. So magic money. And as, let's say, for example, I need money to pay for my house. I need money to pay for my bills. I might need to pay, put food on the table. That's provider money. It's very important money. It's the money I need. Then the money I need. I want to go to the spa and to get a blowout and to feel pretty. That's extra money. It's magic money. Now when we think about the careers that make a lot of money, like unrealistic money, like, how the heck are you being paid that money? It's not provider money. The person isn't working super hard, slaving away. They've done something that's created a ripple effect of magic in the world. They've. They've invented something that's revolutionized something. They're. They've got a talent, they've got an art, They've got something they bring to the planet that's like, this is pure magic. Like, this is magic. And so it's much easier to make copious amounts of money in magic money energy. But it comes from an energy of no need. So you've got to have provider money first before you can tap into magic money. You can't need magic money. That's. That's one of the things. And we're going to dive into that later in the program. But magic money is the money you make with. The more. The more energy you have, the more magnetic you are, the more value you bring with ease and flow, the more magic money comes into your life. It's my pleasure. What if you secretly have this fantasy of your man taking you to trips and shopping and spoiling you and you want that and having the other currencies of presence and consciousness. So this is one of those things, though, where you've got to take responsibility. If I wanted a very rich, powerful man, but I chose a not very rich, powerful man, it is not fair to my partner. That could be Loved for all the beautiful things that he is, that I wish he would be a different currency. So I've got to make sure that I could. You could. You're allowed to fantasize. You're allowed to fantasize all you want, but if you made enough money that there would be more money than you could, you wouldn't even notice if a dollar left your bank account. You wouldn't Even notice if $100,000 left your bank account. Then your partner gets to one day be that for you, even if it's your money because it's so overflowing that if he said, I've set this up for you, it would feel like it's the intention and the time and the care and the fact that you got to go that was so magical. So I would say the key is always to focus on your own financial freedom. And on the day where you've done it for you, if it feels like you really, really desire a different partner, you'll have the confidence, you'll have the. The resources, you'll have everything you need to say, I want something different. But while you don't have what you need and you want them to be better, that. That's where most marriages fall apart, in my opinion. Okay, now, this one's a difficult one. And kneading is not always repelling energy, but needing is providing energy. And so it's like, how can you. There's certain professions that struggle with that. You know, it's like if I'm. If I want to teach the law of attraction and abundance, but I tell you, if you don't pay me, I can't pay for my rent. You probably won't trust me as the person to teach you about the laws of abundance. Like, there's certain things in life that aren't an energetic match. But if I'm a budgeting person and I show you how to save money and save and save and save and save and save and save, and I'm charging you a very, very small amount for you to learn how to save. And I need this money, and you. You need the money to save as well. And it's a really reasonable amount, and it would really help you, then you would pay it. It's like there's different frequencies for need. Providing and needing has a frequency. Abundance and magic has a frequency. And so we don't want to just completely bypass our situation and say, okay, well, then I don't. I don't need. I'm fine. We don't want to do that. But we want to say, how do I get my provider money taken care of so I can start making magic money? And sometimes that does mean you get a job while you also have your business. So I you, you stop overthinking about making the money. You make sure all your bills are paid and then you go find out how to be magic on this planet. Sometimes that does help. But it's about being able to have the provider money locked and loaded so that you can make the magic money without stress. Because magic money comes from abundance, gratitude and all the laws that we've heard a million times. And if it hasn't worked for you so far, it's because your provider money hasn't been taken care of. We will talk about that. Okay, hang on. There was one and I just lost it for a moment. Okay, so this one is. I'm going to put a warning on this one. There's a warning on this because we're going to be talking about abuse. And so if you need to take a breath or go for a walk or have a pee or water, if this is. You don't want to talk about this, I'm just going to talk. This is important. So I want to address it. But if you don't want to hear this, I just want to tell you. So this person says, I processed sexual abuse as a child in therapy and I wonder how sexual abuse impacts are worth our value and our receiving, which is tied to money. I experienced change already since I processed and regulated the event. I know this topic is very sensitive and I totally understand if it's too sensitive to address in this course. But I feel especially women in this group who are mostly affected by this during their lifetime could maybe benefit from a take on this. So I want to share this with you because I think this is why the welcome call was the welcome call. Your worth on this planet and your value on this planet, those are very different things. I know for a fact that having things like this happen to us makes us question our value as a human. It makes us wonder how someone could use us like that. The work we've got to do is about our value, not our worth. It has nothing to do with money. The actual trauma you feel when this happens to you is about why this would happen to you. If you were worthy person of being alive, if you're worthy of love, if you're worthy of good thing. Are you a bad person? Why did you attract that? That's where it tends to go, in your well being, in your confidence, in your will. I Ever be able to be intimate again? Will I be able to. Will I. Will I be able to find a partner that accepts that this happened? Why? It's in the value of who we are that it feels like it impacts us, but not our worth. It actually is not tangled with money. And that's why I wanted to have that conversation with you. And we said, like, worth is just about money. So we need to detangle this because we're saying worth is just about money. It's not like, am I able to make money because this happened to me or not? It's like that has nothing to do with it. The healing that needs to occur is going back to your. I was born valuable, and no one can take that from me. The work, the real deep work, is saying no matter what someone else did does not mean anything about my value on this planet. I am valuable, I am lovable, I am beautiful. I am still whole. I am still just as valuable as the day I was born. It's the inner work of the value of the human that we need to do work on. If we, on top of all that tangle, like worth, like money worth, it's like the grandest punishment in the world to bring that in on top of it. And it is human nature to tend to spiral down when things are hard and to say, look, this is already hard for me, and now this is happening for me, and now I'm not even worth it. Now I'm this. And I'm like, the thing is, if it's not about money, it has nothing to do with your worth. So we're just talking value. And the fact is, I know you know in the bottom of your spirit and your soul that there is nothing on earth that can take away your value. And so all we need to do is talk about it. And because it's taboo, because most people address the trauma and not the mindset, there's always this thought that stays stuck even though we've processed the emotion. So this is not a trauma course, but it's a mindset course around how to move on after you've done the trauma work, which means you could still. You could have let go of the trauma completely in your. In your body, but you could still have this loop in your mind that it somehow affected your worth when it has nothing to do with money. And then if I have nothing to do with money, that has to do with value. And you already know it didn't affect your value. So in that moment, we've untangled it. That's the Loop I would look at. You want to isolate the problem. This is a knot that we create. When we create the knot, it feels like it can't move. But when you really look at it, like this instance that happened to me had nothing to do with money. So I detach it. All that's less is. All that's left is my value. And I know that my value is still intact. Then you've untangled the whole thing. You just have to separate it. And thank you for being really vulnerable about that. Okay, let me see. Kevin, how long have we been going now? Okay, so there was a couple more I wanted to do in this one, and then the next ones will go. The one. The next ones I feel will go. Well, in the next. The next one. Just give me one little second. Okay, so one was about refunds, and one was about big, big money moves. So one of the questions was when people ask for refunds in my world, it completely just makes me spiral. It makes me wonder whether I'm. I'm worth it or not. How do you handle the whole refund thing? So I. I have found that most the time when a person. Michelle, I love you. Most of the time when a person doesn't want. It wants a refund for something, it's because they want. They. They need their money back. They need money in their hands now. It doesn't mean that what you did wasn't valuable. What it means is now that they know what you said, now that you. They know what you did, now that they know what. Now that they have the thing, now that they've experienced it and they've had the whole experience, it would be really great if they could have that for free. And so what I've really found is that refunds are not actually always a representation that something was inadequate. It's the very real human experience of valuing something less after you have it. And this is a test in emotional maturity, because a lot of the of us do this about all kinds of things. It's the partner that you've always wished for that you're nagging. Now that you have. It's the purse you had on your vision board for three years that's actually sitting with a bunch of crap in it in the bottom of your cupboard because it's yours now. It's the house that you dreamed of that you haven't washed the floors in forever because you can't be bothered. It's your day off. The thing you want, you value. The thing you have. You must continue to value this Is why most people on the planet struggle with money. Because they value what they don't have and they don't value what they do have. When you become the kind of person who values what they have, your frequency on the planet changes because value sees value. If I am valuable, I do valuable things and I value what I have, I see value everywhere. If I don't value what I who I am and I don't value what I do, and the things I have lose their value as soon as I have them, how on earth am I ever going to value the things you give me or things you do for me or the thing? It's a question of time before I need money to go get something else that I've now put on a pedestal of value. So someone will say, oh, my gosh, if I could just have this, it would change my life. And then they have it and they're like, okay, no, I want that. I've got this now. I want. I want that. So I want my money back so I can go get that that I want. Refunds are very rarely about the thing that they got was not valuable. It's the fact that when people have things, they no longer value them. And this is one of the greatest lessons in humanity. Value what you have more and you will have more. Value what you have more, and you will have more. The reason people do not get more is because the overarching theme of their life is everything. I receive ID value. And when the universe or God or mother nature gets a whiff of that, you start receiving a lot less. Everything matters until it's yours. So let's make sure it's not yours anymore. People stop valuing money, items, people, opportunities. Stop valuing all kinds of things. Value what you have. Savor what you have. Show up for what you have. Like, it's the greatest thing that you're so grateful that you have it and you're sending out a signal into the universe, Whatever I have is more appreciated. Whatever I have is more valuable. When I have it, it becomes more. When I have it, it becomes more. You attract more. Value what you have, and you will have more. That's the first thing about refunds. It's not about you. So value what you have, and you will have more. There will always be people who want refunds the same way there will be people who wish they were wealthy and won't do things about it. Same as there will be people who wish they were this and don't do anything about it. That is life. Okay, now the Next part is about big moves. And the question is in the duality of some people saying, especially when it pertains to investments, you need to invest in yourself and you need to believe in yourself and you need to go make big moves in your life. You've got to do it. You've got to do it. And other people saying, don't go above what's comfortable for you because it's not worth it and it won't work. You've got to go with what's comfortable. And this person is saying, I don't agree with doing what's comfortable. Because for me, if I just do what's comfortable, I don't grow. I've got to put myself in massive crazy situations or else I don't move. Is that wrong? Is that okay? Who's right? So we're going to talk about again, no one's right and everybody's right. Here's what I have found. In this world, there are very different kinds of people, but everybody wants to belong and feel the same. So we imagine there should only be one way so that we can all belong. Instead of just being mature human beings that understand we're entirely different, we just need to stick to our values and everybody's going to be okay. Most people waste their entire life fighting trying to make everyone agree with them or trying to get themselves to agree with things they don't agree with just so they can feel like they belong. That is all based on immaturity and fear and the childhood stuff that comes up for us. It's not real. It's perceived real. So what's the real truth? You have things that you want to do in your life, and there is a level at which you want to do those things. That is your level of wanting it. It's different than mine. It's different from theirs. It's different from theirs. When you watch a person make a big move and you're like, maybe I should make a big move. That's not your move. You got to make a big move because you're like, I've got to make a big move, period. That's why people make big moves, because they've got to make a big move. When someone's playing small for them and they're. You're like, gosh, that person's playing so small for them, that's a huge move. You don't get to say, that person's playing small. You have no idea what their fears are. None whatsoever. So what really happens here is if a person is the kind of person. And we all know people like this who want to do something for show just to say that they've done it. They will probably do a way smaller thing because it will cost them less and they'll still get to do I just did blah blah blah and want validation for that. Because they're not really in the game to play big anyway. They just want to look like they're playing. So make a small move. That's when it's a shame for them. But there's no explaining that to them because they're not even playing. So it doesn't matter if they're making the move that's small, but that's what they're capable of. And to them that's a big move, then that's extraordinary. We don't know what small and big is to people. We don't know. Like I remember when I first started this journey there what every little move was a huge move. Every dollar I decided to invest back in myself was like astronomical because my belief in myself was this big. Like I was just trying to start to believe that I could do things. So anytime I put money on myself, it felt like a gamble. It was like, let's see, there was no definite certainty in myself. But then there's the people who are like, well, I know I could do the big thing and I'd be capable of doing the big thing, but these people are all doing the smaller thing and so I'll do the smaller thing too. And then they say it doesn't work, work. And it doesn't work because it's like you're, you're wondering why you're not graduating university, singing in a first grade class. You're smarter than that, you're more powerful than that, you're braver than that. And you're playing small just because it's more convenient. It's not going to work. Now when we look at the bigger scale things, who should do the bigger scale things? Why should we do the bigger scale things? It has to do with your personal journey and your son. If you believe, if you say to yourself, if I do this big move, I don't believe that I can make it work for me, then it's the worst idea in the world to do it. Don't do it. The whole goal is supposed to feel like an investment. I am the greatest return investment. I'm the one. There's no way this can't work for me. Because if I am more skilled, if I am more, if I am more surrounded by, by people who have a different belief system. If I have access to these kinds of conversations, if I get my mind in this state an hour a day, like, I'm a different person, guaranteed I'm a different person. I'm doing it then, yes, do it. Do it now. Run. Don't walk, run. You've got to know that you're going to do the work. But now there's another thing about this. You've also got to know, and this is where the big, big stuff, when you're spending very big, you've got to know that even if the person you're investing in was the worst, you would utilize that and build something so great with the opposite. So whenever I've invested really big money in mentors, I've had some that were great, and I've had some that I was like, oh, no. But in the oh, no ones, I developed such incredible customer service. I developed ways of being. I was like, I know exactly what this feels like, so I'm not going to do that. I learned just as much, honest to goodness, I learned just as much in the people who did things I didn't like, because I knew exactly what not to do so fast. If you know always in your life, I. I'm the one. And whether I'm being modeled what I love and I learn from that, or whether I'm being modeled what's preposterous and I would never do if I move, both of those things made me win. It doesn't even matter. I'm the one. So what we're really looking for when it's time to invest in ourselves and what this person was referring to as personal growth is that you may have a journey in developing yourself. And what that looks like is I want to start somewhere, and I really want to. I want to value what I have, and I want to really do the thing. And as I do that and I build my confidence, I'll believe I can do the next thing. And then as I do that and I build my confidence, I'm going to do the next thing. And then I do that. As I do that, I build my confidence I'm going to do the next thing. For others, it's like all I needed was one piece of evidence that I could do it, and then I knew I could do the big thing, and then they leap faster. But there's no better journey. There's just your journey. So what's important is that you don't do it for perceived value, is that you do it for what's valuable to you if you're like, I'm in the mood for a big freaking move, I want to play at a high level. I know that if I invest in myself, I know that if I go all in like this, it's going to work for me, then you do it. If it doesn't feel like that, then don't. Because that's not an investment. It's. It's not. What's the investment for you? It's like, I can put this in and I know that I'll utilize it. I know that I'll. I'll move from it. That's what we've got to do. We've got to make a move with everything we learn. So there are people who will come into things and will just say, I want to learn this, and then I'll take a pause and then I'll implement this. And then I'll go learn this, and then I'll take a pause and I'll implement this so much longer. What I wish for people in my world, that they would understand, and I hope this answers the question, is that the thing you should go into is where you're able to learn and implement at the same time. Say, I want to be so held that there is not one day that goes by that I'm not learning. I want, I want to constantly be in the kind of conversations that make me feel like I can do huge things in my life. My family, my business, everything. Like, I want to feel like I can move every day and I will not. Just these programs make me feel like I'm gonna. They do and I do. That's where you invest because that's a real return on investment. It's not just about how it feels. It's about whether or not you move. So what I would say here in. For this, this module, which we're going to wrap up now, this was a big one today. And so a lot of times when there's a lot of learning, it feels like I need a break or there's a lot of things I also need to do today. What can you do with more value because of this call? So today's homework is different. It's not go do something of value. It's do something in a more valuable way. How can you bring more attention? I'm wondering if you can feel in these conversations the level of presence I have with both the question and the answer as I deliver it for you. I'm not just coaching. I'm like, I'm right there with you. Like, I'm Here at like, my level of presence is 1000%. I feel like because my level of presence is a thousand percent, it's landing for you in a different way. That's value. How can you show up in just even one thing today? 1,000%. It's not about being a badass and stuff. It's like your presence. Your presence as you make dinner, if that's what it's gotta be. But do something where you're like, I am so aware of me right now, I realize how often I'm not. Go try that on. Go do a live stream where you literally see every person that shows up and you say, thank you for being here and you really talk about something. Or go read a book and every line you read, write it down and contemplate the thought. Read in a way you've never been more present. Or go take a shower and wash your body and be aware of every part of you that you never have. Like, bring your presence to something today and see how it changes the activity. Do what you were supposed to do today, but with more value, and come tell me how that landed. For those of you who stayed the whole time, thank you so much for your presence in this entire module. There's still amazing questions we're going to get to. There's so much goodness to come. I look forward for the next module. You now have an entire weekend ahead of you. Bring presence. If you take weekends off, be present to your time off. If you have a relationship, be present to your relationship. Your kids, be present to your kids. Your value is in who you are. Then what you do is more valuable than what you have is valuable. Thank you for being here and I will see you for module two very soon. Sam, it.