The Buyer 2023 - Module 1
This is a YouTube video titled "The Buyer 2023 - Module 1" recorded in November 2023. It features a coaching or training session led by Melanie, who engages with participants such as Priscilla, Janine, and Rita in an interactive format. The discussion centers around sales psychology, particularly the buyer paradigm versus the seller paradigm, confidence in selling high-ticket services, the role of desire versus need in purchasing decisions, and the strategic use of testimonials. The session includes live coaching moments where Melanie helps participants explore their fears, confidence, and offer positioning to better attract ideal buyers.
Sa Sam. Hello, gorgeous human beings of the buyer. I haven't been on camera like this in a very long time, but this was necessary for today and so we're coming on in a different format. I'm actually very excited about today because we're going to be having more of an interactive session. So I do want to say, if you're checking in with us from Facebook right now, you might actually want to jump in to zoom because there's some opportunity for some live coaching. So we have added some pre work to this program at the beginning because I wanted you to contemplate some things. And I feel like in the buyer program, the most important thing of who is able to be a person who attracts the correct buyers versus the person who's an amazing salesperson. The biggest difference is the personal confidence in the seller. So where a lot of times it's all about pushing and trying and having rebuttals and using your mind to think about what you could say and how you could help a person buy. The buyer paradigm is very much about belief in yourself and people and their power. And that combination is so important because it's in that confidence of yourself, your inner confidence, that you actually believe the most in people. So what I want you to kind of imagine in this moment is outside of the buyer paradigm context. Can you imagine trying to believe something really about someone else, especially someone else that you're trying to help? Can you imagine trying to believe in someone else that you're trying to help if you don't even believe that you would be capable of doing the thing that you're trying to get them to do? So I'm going to give you an example. If I work at a dentist office and I am making $20 an hour and I don't even have the money right now to go on a vacation, never mind, like, I don't. Not even like a weekend away. My money is strapped $20 an hour and I am having to present a dental case for someone who wants veneers. And it's going to cost them $60,000 to get these veneers done. Can you see how if I could never buy these veneers, it's impossible. The feeling of confidence in my buyer is going to be a little lower because it's going to be like, well, if I can't even buy this and my belief about this person is that they can't even afford this, how am I supposed to present this dental case? Can you see how that would be difficult? Like, I don't know how to present this to you if I know, I myself don't know how I would do this. And I, I don't think you can, I don't know if you can do this. I don't know your financial situation, I don't know anything about you. Like how am I supposed to present you this dental case? Same thing. If a person comes to you, you have no idea what their financial situation is. You don't know how much money they make, you don't know anything about them. And you've got to present them houses. They want you, they want to buy a house. And you're capable of buying, at the very maximum, a half a million dollar house. What are the odds you're going to take this person to visit a $5 million house if you don't know their financial situation? And you could never buy a 5 million dollar house? So what we're looking at a lot of the time, especially in this buyer paradigm. And I've helped people in so many different industries, whether it is in, you know, the hotel industry or the restaurant industry or the luxury like jewels and fashion. I've had these conversations with people like how difficult is it sometimes to sell these expensive pieces because the commission that they make is a fraction of what the piece costs. And the biggest difficulty is if I don't have faith in myself, in my heart, in the fact that I wouldn't sell the wrong thing to a good person, if I don't have that knowing, and if I don't profoundly believe that the buyer that's in front of me has the money, it becomes almost impossible for me to have a squeaky clean conversation around buying the thing. So I asked yesterday, as pre work number two, when you contemplate the fact that your potential buyer does not need what you're selling, they have the money for it though, and they could desire it. Does that feel good or does that feel bad? It was interesting to see the answers that came up. For some people it was like, you know what, it actually felt a little scary because if they don't need it, then why are they going to choose me? So if that's the contemplation you came to, that's the answer you got to. I would love to know. You can either raise your hand or let me know in the comments. That is, that is kind of the realization that you had. And I'm going to, I'm going to call you up so we can have a little bit of a conversation about that. So if your realization was, oh well, if they don't need this. And they have money. Why are they going to pick me? Okay, so Priscilla says yes. I wonder that for sure. So, Priscilla, come on up with me.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi. Hi, everyone.
How are you doing?
Yeah, really good.
3Am so walk me through your thoughts and your feelings about this. What went through your mind when you contemplated.
So when I think of powerful people, I think that they have the power to. They're already. They've already got a lot of things, so they're not like. They're not struggling. And so that's where I think to myself, well, they're going to be okay regardless. They're going to be okay even if they don't buy my thing, because they're already good.
Okay, so tell me, what. What is your thing?
What is my thing? So there's three things in my thing. One is like a nervous system reflex integration, which is. This is where it gets hard. The other thing, I should probably start off with an easy one. So I do like healing. Yeah, Healing work and a recoding of past beliefs. That part's really easy. So I have a lot of confidence with that because I've been doing that for three years. But the bit that's hard is the bit that I'm really here for. And I haven't really done that much of it because it's so new. I'm paving the way with nervous system regeneration. And so no one's done this before. So for me, that's the bit that's hard. And that's the bit I think probably that I find hard to step into desire with because no one has done it before. And I'm creating something and I've created this movement thing based on how children develop. Like, I've worked with children that have learning difficulties and it's got to do with going back into like a baby, I guess, in how it develops its nervous system with movements. And so that's the bit I find it hard to step into. Desire. Because it's hard to explain because there's so many layers of it. And then that's where I get pulled a bit, I guess probably, now that I think about it, yeah.
Okay, so how much is this service?
How much? Well, my. I guess so for me it's 4k for 12 weeks for the actual healing and recoding stuff. And then I've been slowly weaving this part of it into it. And so I haven't done just solely a bit on movement for nervous system regulation in terms of a full program, just adding in bits with my healing and the recoding.
Okay, so I'm going to say something to the entire group, and I think that this is going to be a really big breakthrough for a lot of people. When we feel like people need something, we feel extreme guilt for charging a lot of money for it. If it feels like you would need this for your. For your survival, if it feels like you would need this or else your life is going to be miserable. If it feels like if you don't have this, you're never going to be okay. I feel like I need to give it away almost.
Yeah, there's definitely an element of that because I've worked with kids that need it so much because they've got learning difficulties. I have this place in my heart where I'm like, it's so powerful and important. Yeah, definitely.
So when we're saying, and this is why Alpha Femme has a range, because it's like, if I felt like the world needed the buyer conversation, I wouldn't be able to charge what I charge for it. But I don't think the world needs the buyer conversation. I think companies that are ready to charge high ticket for a very exclusive service will benefit greatly from being in this conversation with me. But when I think of, let's say, the woman conversation that I had earlier this year, that felt like everybody needed to hear it, and so it was free. So what I would look at is how do you create a package that is not based on your inner feeling that people need this, but rather the great, extraordinary benefit that people would be so excited to pay for. And it. When you create that package, you'll remove the guilt, and that's going to change the energy around the offer.
This is the funny bit. When I go into that one, then I kind of think to myself, if they're so powerful, they don't need it, they then go into like, they're okay without it. Does that make sense?
Of course. So let's go with that. Yeah, let's go with that. So do you feel like you could help me in any way?
Yes.
Okay.
Not because there's something wrong with you.
I know this. This is exactly the point. So how could you help me?
How could you help? So with the movement stuff, we often have parts of us that we don't use because we've got so much redundancy in the nervous system and those parts of the bits where the emotions build up. And so it would be a matter of finding out your movement patterns and the patterns of your belief systems and then working out where it builds up and then going into a place of curiosity to play around with, opening that up.
And how could that be greatly valuable for me? How. How would you explain that being of value to me, Melanie and Lair?
So I've experienced it myself in the online space where there's so much. You really have to be able to weather the storm with your emotions because this, you're putting yourself out there. There's so much vulnerability, there's so much connection with other people that. Especially when you've got this duality in life that in your personal life too, you sort of bring everything to the table when you're online. And so being able to, like, find those areas where emotions get stuck is really important because it allows us to be more resilient in how we show up.
So let's say I did this work with you. What do you imagine it would open up for me in the future? What could you see for me?
What it does is when it's like, because you're so powerful, you do so many things anyway, so, like, it's not going to open up money for you, obviously, and it's not going to open up more confidence for you because you've already got that, but more the capacity to look after yourself. That's my primary. Like, I used to own a business that went up to seven figures. I was in partnership with another woman. And so making money isn't that hard for me because it's like, I know the pattern of how to do it. Not online, in a. In a shop. So I guess the online bit was harder. But making money isn't like, when you get into the pattern, do it, you can follow it. But finding a pattern where your whole system is feeling good in every. That's the bit where things can get a bit sticky because often you like put in one bit and pull back from another bit. And so what this can be beneficial is, is like keeping the health and like emotions when they build up in the body and you're building up something and you shut out certain parts of yourself and when you shut out parts of yourself, the energy doesn't flow in those areas and that's when we can build up like disease and issues that. Like health issues. Yes. Yeah, definitely.
My quality of life 100 and maybe how, how good I feel when I'm not working, when I want to shut the phone off, when I want to be in my own life.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. Preventing disease. Feeling good. Yeah.
Okay. So if you were to look at this package that you would want to sell to me, how Much would it be.
So I guess 4k for 3 months or 33k for 12 months?
Okay, so would that be the same package that you would offer the child that needs the support?
No, because that's why I'm not doing it yet. Because I feel like that is something I need more staff for and I'm just not making enough money in my business to do that. So I have to do the adult one first because that's a lot less, I guess that's a lot less responsibility and work on my part to work with an adult versus a child over the Internet.
Yes. So now I'm going to ask you a real solid question. Where does the fear in your body come from when you're speaking to me?
Okay. The fear of looking like a fool. But I guess I look more like a fool when I'm worried about it.
And, and how would you look like a fool? In what way? Based on what you offer, Based on how you explain it. Like what part of you could look like a fool?
I guess on all of those things. When I was a kid, I moved countries a couple of times and I didn't know the language. And so I think one of my biggest things is being understood. Like that's my. My biggest pattern, I guess, of. So I shouldn't, I really shouldn't.
But with me, do you think there's really a possibility that I wouldn't understand you? Is that possible?
There is. It's just the communication thing. It's the. The. And like language and expressions and intentions can be misunderstood, but usually not like really big, but like little tweaks.
And you think I could misunderstand you?
I guess because you don't know me, there are elements that could be misunderstood. Yes.
Perfect. So which ones do you fear the most that I could misunderstand? Like what are the intentions you fear I would miss? Or what's the point you fear I would misinterpret.
More than looking. So I guess my most thing that I find is because I go so deep in topics, I'm not as relatable anymore. And so it's hard for me to break down the. The energy of what I'm saying when I go deep into something. And so I sound like either I'm too complicated and too like sciency or wordy with it, or I'm then simple, but then people don't understand the main meaning. So that's my biggest struggle is finding a place where I. And succinct and clear and relatable.
So in this conversation that We've just had. Do you feel like you were too simple or too complex or neither one.
Gauge? I think I'm doing all right. Okay.
So there is no I'm being too complicated or I'm being too simple in this discussion.
Okay.
Do you feel like you've said everything you needed to say? Like would this, let's say I'm a potential client. Do you feel like this would kind of resemble the conversation you might have with a potential client?
I think I'm more nervous because there's so many people watching. I think when I'm on a one on one with someone and there's no one else watching, I am not. So that this doesn't happen, which is interesting. Yeah. I don't get as nervous, I don't get as in my head, I guess about it.
Well, here's my question for you. How complicated does that make going live on social media to get your ideal buyer?
I guess. But then I don't feel like I do lives all the time and I don't feel like I get as nervous. But then I don't talk with people per se, so I don't know.
Have you ever re. Listened to one of your live streams where you're. You're making an offer?
Heaps of times, yeah.
And I think clear.
Yes.
Okay, so what's the difference in your opinion is that you're speaking to somebody in this moment?
I think it's more the number of people here that I'm. Yeah, I don't know because I guess there's people watching my page and more than this number. So.
So here's what I'm going to share with you. What I see when I, when I'm speaking to you in this moment is there's just not a solid confidence in you, not in your work. I think you were very confident in what you do not know whether or not you can help me. I think you're very confident in that as well. It's. Am I doing okay? Am I coming across okay? Am I explaining this properly? And so this, first of all, it gets practiced, you practice and it gets stronger. But the other part of it is this is where the money is made, is in your ability to stay confident and strong no matter what room you're in and no matter who's, who's sitting across from you and no matter who you're speaking to. And this is why people will, let's say a person that has the money, the possible impact, the possible everything will say, I don't know, it won't be because whether your work is good enough or your offer is good enough or your pricing is too high or whatever it is, it'll be, I don't know if you can hold me.
See, this is where I got confused because I'm like, I'm so powerful. I can hold people and anyone that's coming to my container, no matter like how much money they've made. Like, I've had a seven figure courage. I've had people that can hold a lot and I can hold them. It's not an issue. But then the feedback of whether I'm coming across online, because it's online, I think I have this thing with just the, the virtual connection and how often.
Say you've had one on ones virtually, how often does this happen?
So I have had a bit of a lull in the last year or so, last two years. So I've just been doing a lot of GR stuff rather than having people pay for it. And so that's where there's definitely. But that's because I'm trying to, like, I got to the point where I got people coming in for my healing and my recoding stuff, but I really want to develop the other part of it. And I've been working on developing it and so I haven't really been bringing in because I'm trying to weave it in together. And I think that's the bit where I have found it hard to. And that feedback, oh my God, that's mind blowing. So I was thinking, why is it. But it's the, the feedback on how I'm explaining it that I'm seeking for that makes me look like I'm not powerful. It's like, why the heck didn't I pick that up?
Well, sometimes it's just, it's in a blind spot. We're feeling a certain way and it's appearing a way that's different than how we feel. And so we don't know. So that's why these, these, you know, containers are so valuable is because it's the thing you can't see, you know, that's huge.
But then if I have, when I think of my buyer as powerful, like for example, you, I know that whether I help you or not, you are going to be okay. It's like the women that I'm actually wanting to work with are going to be okay regardless of whether I help them. So I guess that makes me feel good unless I'm under pressure to sell to them. And that's the key, isn't it?
It's like, so the buyer paradigm is a different paradigm than the seller paradigm. And it's why it's so different is because when you think about what I'm doing on the planet right now, I am helping wealthy people or people who are actually solid build very good companies for the world. Because without these conversations, people don't even contemplate the fact that there's a better way to take care of their clients and they'll continue to sell from a place of need for money, even when they don't need money anymore. And so when you think about the feeling of I need to make a sale, that feeling of I need this to sell, that's when you'll be like, how do I become a better salesperson? Because I need to make this sale. That's where it's attached. I need to make a, I need to make a sale. So need is on the frequency of need. I need to make a sale. I offer something you need, you need it. Need, need, need. The sale gets made. But when I look at, I desire to make more money, I desire to offer you the service and you desire to buy it. Desire, desire, desire. Now we're on the same frequency and the biggest difference is the price point. Because by the time a person needs something or else they're gonna die. Like they need cannot be a money thing. It's the luxury thing. So this is when people will decide. And I'll give you an example. Let's say when you look at addiction centers, there are addiction centers on the planet that look like prison cells. You're going to be treated like scum and you're not comfortable and it's a nightmare. But you need to go there because or else you're going to kill yourself with your addictions. And then there's treatment centers in California where you basically are treated better than people in seven star hotels, but the price is different. But you don't choose the expensive one because you need it. You choose the, you choose the treatment center because you need it. You choose which one because of what you desire to experience in your healing. So what you're offering in the world is needed. It's just that it's not needed to be this expensive, it's not needed to be this way. There's healers that are charging nothing. So why is it more valuable for me to work with you is because I'm going to get a standard that fits my desires. And that's why it's so important to notice when an offer is more of a I'M helping people get what they need versus I offer a very comfortable experience for people to get what they need in a very exclusive way, like getting on a plane. If I want to fly to Los Angeles tonight, I can find myself a flight that's going to cost me 300 bucks. Probably I'll be smooshed in a middle aisle and I'll not be able to bring any luggage with me, but I'll find one. But I don't need a first class flight or a private jet. I definitely don't need that. If I chose that, it would be the way I desire to fly. So flying is the need. The way I desire to is the desire. And so that's what I want to break apart with you in your offer is that when you're looking at your buyer, when you're doing a buyer paradigm, you're looking not for do you need this or not? But rather, yes, you need this, but I'm creating it for you in a way that you also desire it. Because if it was just the need, you could buy it for far less. But it isn't just a need.
Oh my goodness. As seriously as you were talking, I was thinking, I nearly started to cry because I'm like, how is this so simple? But yet I've made it so difficult for myself. Like, I was so stuck in the giving it to them because I almost got to the point where it's like, how could I have spent five years on this thing like, and not actually gotten it to the point where it should be in a way, because I kind of like you think to you, I know I'm here for such an important reason. And it's like, I needed to do it not because I need to, because I'm not like, I don't have money. I needed to do it because I'm like, how could you spend that long on something and not be able to? And it's like, wow, it was because so much pressure on myself.
Yeah. So when you, when you're just the energy in your body right now, your, your different energy could be around in this moment. Like now you're the most approachable, like, oh my gosh, it's totally different now. So this is the other thing. Like a misconception of expensive stuff is you're supposed to be super professional and super perfect and super polished. And if you don't nail it, you're going to lose it. But that's not even true because most of the time buyers buy from trust connection. They don't buy from logic they buy from trust, connection, a good feeling, a good vibe. I like you. Someone told me about you. Like, you're my. I. I feel comfortable with you. You're the right person for me. Like, so when you can get yourself in the energy that you're in right now, you're a far better match for desire than in this super polished version of you. Because in the. Let me get this right version of you, you're not. You're not. You're. You're not at your peak. You're at your peak in your body when you're like, I got this. I got you. Like, I have got you. I'm gonna take you everywhere you need to go. I've got you. And for that, you. There's a. There's a way that you stand, there's a way that you sit. There's a way that you speak. There's a way that you are. There's an energy about you when you're in that comfort. And that's what. That's where the. The buyer really gets attracted, is like, whoa, this. You're really. It. It's not just, you can sell me something. It's, you can deliver me something.
Yeah. Wow. Because the delivery is. Is the bit that's easy, but this was the bit I was tripping myself up on. It was like, oh, my goodness. When I'm supposed to know this stuff, I'm supposed to know posture, I'm supposed to know how to hold my body. I'm supposed to know how to work with beliefs, but our own blind spots lack.
So that was the worst.
I'm, like, up there looking like a fool, but you're.
This is the thing is you. I don't even think you know how valuable this interaction was for the other participants, because so many people resonate with exactly what you were feeling, how you were dealing with, how you were feeling, and the response to this breakthrough. So this is, like, the greatest gift you could have offered to people in the program. You're the perfect person to come up for this. This was it. So thank you for being transparent and for telling the truth and for going for it. This is a big deal, and it is scary, but this is where real transformation happens, and not just for you, but for other people through you, which is really amazing. So thank you for that.
Thank you. This experience, to be in front of you guys. And thank you, Melanie.
It's my pleasure. All right, let's have a look and see what people are saying. So can you comment more on. A buyer never buys from a Rationale. So it's not that a buyer never buys from rationale. And if that's what I said, let me tidy this up. It's more like if there's something that I can buy for not expensive, it probably won't be a rational reason why I choose to buy it for more expensive. Like if I need a car, I'll buy a Kia. If I need a car, if I want to buy a Lamborghini instead, that will not be a rational decision. It'll be like, I need a car, but I want a Lamborghini. It won't be like, you know, I really should buy the Lamborghini. Because when you think about it, it goes so much faster. You know, when you consider there's no rational reason to spend 10 times the price on a car, there's no reason 100 times on a car, there's no reason, there's no rational reason. So the difference between someone who's buying something from need and the buyer in the context that what we're talking about right now is the buyer isn't buying because they need something at this level, they're buying because they need something and they want it at this level. So it's going to be very simple. Like they know they want it, they know they need it, but they want to get excited about the level that they want it at. The exciting, the excitement is more so what makes them buy. The higher level thing, the desire, the feeling for greatness, the feeling for a better experience, the feeling for more support, the feeling for whatever it is. So that's the difference. If I'm trying to sell to you. If I said like, if I were to sell a program for, for selling, how to be a better salesperson, how to close more deals, how to handle rebuttals, I would have way more people in the room than I do for buyer. But I probably wouldn't charge this. I'd charge something different. Because the people who need to sell are probably struggling to make 400, $4,000 because they don't have it in them to make that. The buyer is the one that cares about their reputation. They care about the luxury, they care about. You see what I mean? Like, it's not about rationality, it's about impact. It's about vibes. It's about feelings. It's about. Yes, it's a feeling inside. That's what I meant. I also have a question regarding testimonials. You say to post them, but at the same time I understand buyers don't pay attention to testimonials okay, so why don't we bring you up here to talk to me about that? I think that would be a very cool place to go right now. Hi. Hello.
Hi, I'm Janine. Sorry, I just realized it's my Team Zoom account.
That's. Okay. So where did you hear that. That buyers don't read testimonials?
So this is. This question has been on my mind since Marketplace that you emphasized how important it is to post testimonials. And I started doing it again. And then from this conversation, I maybe it's just my interpretation when you said, oh, this is how buyers buy, that they don't pay. Pay too much attention of what, like, other people are doing. And to me, testimonials are, in a way, like advertisement and when. And I'm also coming from the perspective of I'm a buyer myself. So if there's like an, for instance, an Instagram account that has, like, a lot of testimonials, it's a turn, turn off for me. I'm like, I want to see the person I'm buying from. So I'm always, like, on the edge when it comes to testimonials.
Okay.
And like a lot of my clients, I ask like, hey, are you actually reading testimonials? Because I wanted to get more insights, not just my own mind. And everyone said, like, oh, no, I actually never read any testimonials.
Okay, so let's look at this for a moment. So one of the things I often say is, it's not what we do, it's who we are when we do it. So there is a difference between, I'm sharing this testimonial because I feel like it's a great representation of what's available in my work versus I'm sharing this testimonial because for sure, people will buy if they see how many people love it. One is a crutch, the other one is a representation. So I would say that the blanket statement people don't buy because of testimonials is an incorrect blanket statement. It's. It's not correct to just say that, but I do think it's correct to say that a buyer won't buy just because of testimonials. If there's nothing else there. If the only thing you're crutching on is a bunch of people saying, this was great, this was great, but you don't have your personality shining through. There's not amazing customer experience. You're not good at describing your offers. They don't Get a good vibe from you, it won't be enough. But if it's present from time to time and it's presented in a very, you know, a feel, like a marketing feeling, that's like, here's what people are saying about this right now. And it's just one of the things. I think it's very helpful to have testimonials. I'll give an example. For me, if I'm thinking of buying a. What am I thinking? I want to buy a house. I am going to ask my friends that have a similar financial situation who they would recommend for a realtor. That's technically a testimonial. And then I will for sure go on their page and just check what other buyers have said before I put myself in that situation. And if I see a negative thing, I'm going to go see who the person is that left a negative review, because I want to know if I associate with the negative reviews. So I don't care so much about negative reviews. I care about who left them. And I don't care so much about positive reviews. I care about who left them. So if someone is selling something and they have raving testimonials, but when I go look at who is raving, I'm like, this is not my style of person. And when I look at the people who say, I would never buy this again. Those are my style of person. Then even though there's raving testimonials, I won't buy, but if it's the opposite, I go and I look. There's a few people who are like, this is. This was so good. I go look at who they are, and they feel like me. And all the people who are like, this was terrible. Blah, blah, blah. And I go look at them, and they look like nothing like me. No, we don't see the same values. We're not the same people. Then I'm going to. I'm going to do it even if there's less people who like it than people who don't. Because I care more about the kind of person that enjoyed it than the amount of people that enjoyed it. Does that make sense? So I would say the real way to utilize testimonials is to say, do I value not only what the person has said, but who they are. These people that are saying good things about my work, an accurate representation of who the buyer is that I'm calling in. And so I would be. I would choose the testimonials wisely and say, this is the testimonial is coming from a client that has the vibe of an ideal client of mine. And the testimonial is written in a tasteful way to me. I'm going to use this testimonial that will attract the correct buyer from my experience.
May I ask one question about this?
Yeah.
So I'm working like I'm a former investment banking. I'm working as a money coach and a lot of my clients come for more money to scale their business as my expertise. I love it, I'm all about it. And in the first four years of my business I had some clients which like I think some really wild financial results like they come in like say in March, they made 30,000. They leave the coaching by the after six months they made 1.3 million. And I have a lot of testimonials like this. And when you ask me like a testimonial is like a representation of your work. I posted all of this because I was so proud of myself, of the work of the client, of everything we've built together. It was mind blowing. So I was very naive when I did this. And also I didn't have this conversation we are having now. So based on this, I attracted a lot of clients that come into my world and think, hey, I just give you the money and you hand me over the millions. And without seeing, hey, there is work that needs to be done or at least in, in my world I haven't found a way that I. It's just an energetic transaction and that's it. And so I'm a bit scared of posting testimonials now because I don't know how to frame them, especially financial results because it's my expertise. Like it's nice, you know, when I post about other things my clients achieve in other areas of life, but it's not the heart of my business. So I'm struggling right now with how to post financial testimonials.
Okay.
So with the intention to attract Integra buyers.
Okay, so this is a very good question and this is something that I've also contemplated a lot because I did the same thing. So when my clients first started having, you know, six figure months and million dollar years, I was like, oh my gosh, like we are doing it, we got it, we're cracking the code. I got so excited. What I didn't expect is that people would just imagine that meant it was easy. I, I thought that people had the capacity to say I want to do the kind of work these people have done, not just I want to Pay this person to have what those people have had. It never crossed my mind that someone would just think they could just pay me and get that. It's like, yeah, you pay me and you do the same work they did to get that. But they. That. That's not what happened. I was a little shocked when it happened. So I haven't been posting testimonials of that sort for a while. But I will be doing it again, and here's how I'm going to be doing it differently. I will be having discussions. And so it might be that the COVID image on the reel, for example, says how this client manifested a million dollars in 12 months. But then you're going to listen to a conversation and it's going to be like, what did it take? What are the hardest moments you had to navigate through? How did the coaching support you in difficult times? Why is this so meaningful to you? All the things that people actually need to hear to decide whether or not they have it in them to do it instead of it just being, here's the result. It's like, here's the result, here's the person, here's the journey. Are you still in, or did you just want it? As long as it was just the result. But I think that it's not possible for us to know what's necessary unless we've lived through certain things and we've learned, like, oh, this equals that. I don't want that. So let me try this. This, oh, this equals that. I like that result. This is good. Let me continue with this. So so far, what you've learned is what you don't like. But that doesn't mean we don't use testimonials, because testimonials equals people who don't get the picture. It's stagnant. Testimonials without a backstory, create that. So how do we get creative? And I think that's such an important part of our journey, too, is to not discredit something that we're doing entirely because it didn't give us the result we wanted, but rather adapt and readjust and figure out how we can create the proper energetic. So I would say have discussions with the clients that have amazing results and have them be vulnerable about what the hardest parts were and the times where they almost gave up and, you know, how brave they needed to be. And what were some of their most frustrating moments and what were there some of their greatest moments? And why are they proud of themselves? And what would they say to a person considering to take this journey and those kinds of discussions, I think are very valuable.
Okay, thank you so much. This helps a lot.
Good. My pleasure. And I will say to the group like that for me, when I think of what kind of testimonial would help me buy something, that would be more it. Because I would want to know if the person was raving about the service or whatever is actually my style of person. And what better way to know that than listening to them speak, seeing their personality, seeing what it took for them to do it? Like, if I'm hiring a money coach and every testimonial is from a person that doesn't have my style of energy, that's, let's say, super masculine, talking about stacking money and getting sales and all the things. Like, if I hear that and I'm like, oh, that's the kind of person that was satisfied by this, I don't. That changes the dynamic of the testimonial. But when I just see it, I just see a stagnant number. I could be. I could be motivated by that. But when I see the style of person who's being excited and I understand who they are, that shows me if I'm an energetic match, if I'm the kind of person who'd probably be one of the next testimonials. So thank you for sharing this. This is a great question.
Thank you.
Okay. Have you ever celebrated clients you've worked with in the past that accomplished something big they were working on during the time you were working with? Not sure what you mean. Have you ever celebrated clients you've worked with in the past that accomplished something big they were working. When I, like, a couple of years ago, I celebrated my clients so much. A lot of it was financial celebrations, because that's the thing that I find people are the most willing to open up. Like, it's not always comfortable for a person to be like, I was about to get a divorce and then I didn't, or I hadn't spoken to my mom in 20 years, or, you know, like, there's things that are private or they're afraid they're going to hurt another person by sharing. So it wasn't always quite as simple as the thing that they worked through they were able to. To be celebrated for. But in the financial wins, I did a lot. And that's why I'm saying it attracted a lot of people that were just like, oh, that girl made a million dollars. I want to make a million dollars. This girl makes $100,000 a month. I want to make $100,000 a month. And so I've refrained over the last year or so as I figured out how I wanted to do it next in alignment with me and the result that I wanted. Oh, you mean after I've worked with them? Well, the fact is, I used to do it so much while I was working with them, and then I stopped about a year ago, so I haven't had a chance to. But I feel like I would love to do that more after I've worked with a person because it feels like after the job is done. Here's what happened. So I see myself doing that more in the future. Okay, so let's go back to my initial question here, which was about the people who had a fear when it came to. When it came to imagining that people didn't need them. So when you. When I said that and your feeling was not like, oh, it just excites me. It was like, oh, there's fear. I'd love to see if there's someone else that doesn't necessarily feel like they got the same. It's not the same thing as what we talked about with Priscilla. Okay, Rita, come up with me.
Hey.
Hello. Hello.
So my thing. I am wonderful. I am wonder. Wonderful. And this conversation is beyond. Beyond, beyond, really. So my. When I was reflecting on these, I. I think I got to a very, very uncomfortable, unconscious and subtle thing, which is. Well, that's very good. It's all about desire. It's expanding it and so on. But I also fear that if they don't need, and maybe it's a little bit of my experience, if they don't need, they don't show up. So committed. You know what I mean? Like, the person who really needs to improve, she. She does the work, she shows up. She gets up very early. She's very committed. The ones that came just for expansion, some days they show up, others they don't. You know what I mean? Maybe this is inside of me. That's why I wanted to. To see.
I think this is a brilliant question and we're going to dismantle it all in like five seconds. Are you ready? Oh. When's the last time you walked into a.
Oh, Jesus. I. I do self practice. I do yoga at home. I was.
You walked into a gym five years.
Ago, six years ago.
Okay. I want you to picture the gym in your mind. I want you to imagine in your mind the people that you would expect to see at the gym. How many of you need to be there. They're overweight, they're not healthy. You're not seeing any of those in your mind, are you? No, I'm not. Because the people who need to go to the gym are thinking about the fact that they need to go to the gym. And the people who want to be at the gym are at the gym. It's the people with the best physiques that are at the gym because they desire. Yeah. So there's obviously the exceptions and there's the people who know they need to go and they. They start. And that's amazing. And there are some. But the majority of the people you see at the gym are the people that you'd say, you don't need to go to the gym, you're perfect. But they desire to keep their fitness up. That's the buyer paradigm.
I'm done. Thank you. Four seconds.
I love it. Okay, so I put so this question, and this is what I want to really have you contemplate before our next session. You are going to notice that you have blocks in your mind. This program is going to help us at first unravel those blocks. That's going to be the first, most important thing before we even go into how do we start packaging and how do we start talking about it? Because we're going to do all of that. But what's important before is to make sure we have a solid foundation. And what you'll realize in your life and in your business is the real reason you don't have solid buyers is because what you believe about them, you believe that they won't do it unless they need it. You believe that if they don't need it, then why would they buy it? You believe that, you know if you're not perfect, they won't buy it. You believe that if you're not clear, they won't buy. You believe you've got all these thoughts about you and about them that makes it that there is no possible connection. So in order for me to have you here with me today, I first have to know and believe that I know exactly what I'm doing. That's the first important thing. Because if not, I believe that you know what you are doing. You know what you've got. You know what you're. You know what you want to learn. You know all the things. Except I don't know what I'm doing, so I have no integrity. So it's impossible. We're not a match. Or I believe I know what I'm doing. And I think you're a dodo bird. I think you're A turkey. And there's no way I can help you. And you don't even have the money to hire me anyway, in which case that also makes no sense. So we only have one possible point of connection. It's the one where I know what I'm doing, and I know that you know what you're doing, and you've got the money to pay for this and. And you're going to choose me because I know what I'm doing. It's that respect. It's that mutual respect. As soon as we have fear for ourselves or for other people, that respect is chipping away. If I have fear for me, I don't respect my genius. If I have fear for you, I don't respect your power. So you'll often hear me say to my clients, I don't have fear for you. I have no fear for you. Have you ever heard me say that? This is something that I have been saying since the beginning of my coaching career to the people that I respect. I have no fear for you. If I feared that you couldn't do this, you would not be here. I would tell you that. I would say, I don't think you have that. I don't. I don't think you have it. But I have no fear for you. I haven't. I. You got this. And if I have no fear for you and I have no fear for me, the result is coming. And if. If you can imagine having a personal trainer that fears for you, if I don't think this person's got it in them to change, do you want that person to be your personal trainer? No. You know, if you're. If you've got a driving instructor and they're like, oof, I'm afraid for this one. I don't think they have it in them to drive. You want them to be the person teaching you to drive a car? No. You know, if you're learning how to bake or how to cook and the person's like, I don't think you. I don't think you'll ever be good at this. You want them to be your tutor? No, you need the person who's like, of course you've got this. I have no fear for you. That's the person that's going to get you where you need to go. So you've got to get there with your buyers. And there's two ways that you do that. Number one, you know your standard, you know who your ideal kind of person is, and you know how to speak to them. And number two, you. You do speak to them that way. And you don't compromise the trust in people for money. You don't speak to their fears just because you know that people, when you speak to their fears, would buy. Because those same people who are terrified that they're not going to make it, how can you have no fear for them if they have fear for themselves? You've got to have the powerful person who says, I know I was born for this, in order for you to say, I believe you. If they're like, I suck, I have no willpower, and I don't know how I'm going to do this. I have fear for you. Then if you tell me, okay, Melannie, I bought your buyer program. But here's the truth. I don't think I'm any good at what I do at all. I'd be like, I have a lot of fear for you. Like, I'm not going to help you make a lot of money if you don't think you're good at what you do. That's. That is out of integrity for me. But when you're like, I'm passionate about, about my work, I'm so good at what I do. I just don't understand why people aren't buying. I'm like, I have no fear. We're going to figure this out. And so that's where you've got to get with your clients. Whether it is mental health, whether it is spiritual health, whether it's emotional intelligence, somatic healing, whether you're helping people in their business, they're marketing their advertising, whether you have a physical product for their transformation or their well being, whether it's something in travel or leisure or cars, whatever, it doesn't matter what it is, it's got to be sold to a person it's right for. And if you know you're going to sell your service to a person it's right for, and you know what you're doing, how on earth are we not going to find the bridge? It's impossible. So what we've got to look at first is what else is in the way? So after this conversation, I'm going to invite you to just sit with yourself and ask yourself, is there something that hasn't been covered today that I'm fundamentally afraid of? Is there something else that I'm afraid of? Because you are going to energetically protect yourself from any sale if there is a possibility that it could harm you, damage you, make you afraid, make you uncomfortable in your life, the universe, God Mother Nature will not just give you what you want if it's going to hurt you. So what's the underlying fear that you're actually being protected from by people not buying this thing? Contemplate it just a little bit more, and there's an activation coming in the group. In the group. Jacqueline's going to help you uncover some more things. Like, we've got some amazing stuff coming. But the most important thing for high ticket, the most important thing for luxury, the most important thing for big packages, the most important thing for effortless yes sales is a capable person saying yes to a capable person. So if there's anything that feels like, not that, we need to tidy it up, because if not, anything we build is just a house of cards. So Sarah says, fear of being perceived as a seller instead of a passionate woman with big beliefs. And so. And Jacqueline says this homework is important to do before tomorrow's activation. Very important. So fear of being perceived as a seller instead of a passionate woman with big beliefs. Who would believe, and I think this is important. Who would believe that you are salesy or pushy? If you're not being salesy or pushy, is it. Is it safe to say the wrong buyer, the wrong client? Right. I have people that say that I am salesy. There are people who say that I. What I am doing. This is a real thing. This is a real thing, a real conversation on the Internet that I look into the camera and hypnotize people with some sort of technique I've learned somewhere. And that I am, in fact, the most manipulative salesperson on the face of the planet. And there's a bunch of people that are like, yes, I know that this is true. I have also looked into her eyes while she was selling and bought something. This has happened to me, and I'm like, I can't change how I talk. I can't change how I look into the camera. It's just who I am. I'm going to have people say, this was the best sales experience I've ever had. This was the most effortless thing. And I'll have people be like, she makes you think. She doesn't manipulate you, but she's doing it in the magic realm in different lives. You just don't realize it. You'll never nail it for everybody, and you will definitely not nail it for your right buyer. But the beautiful thing about the buyer is we don't. We're not about the wrong buyer. Anyway. I don't want to convince the person who thinks I'm hypnotizing people that they should buy from me. As a matter of fact, I think it's really great that they stay very far away. That's better for me. So the person who thinks you're being salesy when you're not is actually better off very far away from you. If you can trust that, you're going to be so much closer to your ideal business, to your ideal buyer in the feminine energy. One of the things we've got to make peace with in order to have a very successful business is the type of buyer I attract matters more than the amount of buyers I attract, because the type of buyer actually makes me better, makes my reputation better, makes my product better. If I have all, all the wrong buyers in my world telling me what I need to change, I'm going to stop being true to what I'm here for. If I have all the correct buyers in my world and I do what I do best, I'm going to actually have all the right connections with all the right people in my world and my. My work and my business is going to do better. So it's actually best for me to be able to trust that the wrong people don't end up in my world. That's actually better. So when people are teaching you how to sell to a person that doesn't want to buy, the unfortunate thing is they're actually teaching you how to bring in people that shouldn't have been there in the first place. It changes your experience. And when you look at so many people who get burnt out by this work and say, I just couldn't do it anymore and I was so sick of it, it comes from the wrong people being at the wrong place. How could I ever get sick of this work if it's with you? Like, I'll do this for the rest of my life if it's with you. But fill the room of different people who have all these stories and all these things, oh my gosh, I'm going to get sick of this work real fast. And so this is why a lot of people fall off, quit, change careers because they can't handle the people they pulled in trying to get people that weren't supposed to be there. So that's where the feminine has to come in, the trust. That's like, if you are meant to be here, you will be here from my greatest strength and my greatest squeaky clean. And you will be at your greatest strength and your squeaky clean. And we are going to go very far together. But if I have to push you to get in, you're going to end up pushing me to get out at some point. It's inevitable. So it's really just trusting that. Is it? Because I have been mainly in masculine energy, people felt pressure. Well, it could have been that, and it could have been that. In fact, you were pushy. You were afraid. You were trying to get people to buy. You did. Instead of trusting and really elevating into your next level context, instead of really understanding the power of what you did, instead of really understanding your ideal buyer, instead of understanding the luxury you provide, you were just trying to get people to understand you. And that does feel pushy. So if that's the truth, then you learn. And if you don't agree with it and you're like, that is not the case, then it's the wrong buyer. But that's what we're going to work at in this container. At first, we've got to look at the fears. Are we going to talk about how to express this trust in our posts on social media? No, we're going to talk about that, but at first we've got to figure out where it might not be there, because there's not much of a point expressing something when we feel the opposite. So we're going to go and unpack a little bit before there's so much subconscious debris to clear around feeling. People who seem powerful because of the way power was used to manipulate in the past. This is really what we're clearing in the collective consciousness right now. Fear of power, money, the masculine. This is huge. I've never told you this before, but I bought afe. I read the what the hate blogger said about you because I wanted to see multiple perspectives. And I knew that the haters were so different from me that they totally missed the mark and that they were just people who wouldn't thrive in the alpha femme world. Then I bought the afe and you see, this is very similar to what I was discussing before when I said, it's not just about the negative reviews, it's about who wrote them. You know, if I. If I am looking for a spiritual healer and there are a hundred bad reviews, but all the bad reviews are like, this person thinks she channels the divine. She's crazy. I'm like, oh, then she's perfect. Where is she? I want to hire her, because that's exactly what I'm looking for. If I'm looking for the kind of trainer that's going to whip my butt into shape. And I know I cannot have any soft person Helping me. I need a badass. And I go and I want to hire somebody. And there's a hundred bad reviews. And all the bad reviews are saying, this person is way too tough. They were. They were tough on me. Way too tough. I'd be like, okay, this is my person. Sometimes you don't realize it, but the negative review is actually showing you exactly what you want. You know, there's no information on the sales page. It's all based on intuition. That's not negative for everybody. You know, some people, a lot of the negative reviews I got are from my invisible offers. People saying it's unethical to have an invisible offer. It's not unethical when it's representing everything I'm explaining with Energetics. But when the comments are, it's unethical to have an invisible offer. And no one should be buying from intuition. Well, when you're an intuitive buyer, you'll be like, well, clearly this doesn't apply to me. So it's just trusting. Someone's negative review is actually confirmation for someone else. Same as what Andrew is saying right now. I just hired a coach because they told me no feel so great. My decision. It's only unethical if you don't like them and you bought it anyway. Fair like that. My fear that came up was whether I had the confidence to hold them. I know I can help them, but for some reason, their power intimidates me. I'm doing the inner work. Is there anything else that you would recommend on how you got here? Is it just my inner working confidence? So this. And this is so important, and I'm going to have you all really contemplate these things. That is just the initial realization. It's not the contemplation. So what it looks like to contemplate is to say, I don't know if I can hold their power. I know I can help them, but I don't know if I can hold their power. That's when the contemplation begins. Why not? What could happen? What evidence do I have of that? Has anything happened in the past that would make me feel that? Is this like a representation of something else that's happened to me before? What do I imagine? Is there a scenario in my head I'm afraid of? Have I heard someone tell me this before? Where does this come from? Start contemplating. Because what we really want to find is not just the first level limiting belief. It's the underlying what you're actually telling yourself that terrifies you. You see how long it Took us to get where we needed to get with Priscilla. I didn't just ask her one question and give her an answer. We went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. You're going to do that with yourself. Back and forth and back and forth. Even if you need to watch what I did with Priscilla again and be like, what if I asked myself these questions? What would come up? Have a discussion with yourself, because that's where you're going to really find out what's in the way. How did you navigate those types of online attacks when they first started and continue to be anchored, heart open and show up? I had a pretty vicious one earlier this year and it told me had. Well, this is, this is one thing I will share with you is I know myself and this is why I really encourage you to remember your power in these discussions. I know myself. If there was anything that was said that I needed to look at, I would have looked at it 100%. And I am not worried about having to change my stance on things. I'm very open about the fact that for me, it's evolution and growth over a lifetime. And if there's something that needs to be done better, I will do it. Like, I don't need to be right right now. I don't think it's going to hurt my reputation if I'm not right right now. That's okay. I can handle that. But the question is, is it true for me what they're saying, or do I know that's not what happened? And so, because I just. I really just knew what was happening behind the scenes. It was just. There's just nothing. There's. You just have to let it go. And you've got to trust that actually when a person does that, they're attracted, they're going to attract an entire network of people with their complaint that shouldn't make it into your offers in the first place. You know, if you have, if you are a very tough trainer, the last thing you want is a bunch of people that are too sensitive saying that you've hurt their feelings and that because of you they feel bad, like that's the last thing you want. So it's actually helpful for you to have people on the Internet say, do not hire this trainer if you're sensitive. They're way too tough. Although it sucks, and that's not your intention, it's actually super beneficial to you because it's going to limit the kind of people that are like that. And so what I found is that It. It actually has helped me in the long run because the complaints that were made, all the people that resonated more with the person making the complaint than with me ended up not working with me. And I've actually got a better business for it. So, you know, I'm an intuitive person. I expect that the people who buy from me will buy with very little information because it's not a logical thing. A lot of people were mad about that. There's not enough information on the sales page. There should be way more information. No, there shouldn't. There should be way more information on the sales pages you buy from. But you're. You're allowed to say loud and clear, if you need a lot of information, don't buy from this. And then anybody who agrees will go. And I. If I can trust in that. What I realize is, over time, I'm actually curating the greatest buyers for me. And that was scary in the beginning when I thought maybe the right people could be swayed by the not right people for me. But the maturity is in realizing that that's not what happens. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of people who said to me, I found you because of those threads. And the way you responded to them made me realize you're the person I wanted to work with. Like, I was attracted to Snoop, you know, I saw the drama I wanted to see. And then when I saw you, I thought, okay, I understand why they're so mad. This girl's amazing. And I was like, oh, well, that's a compliment. That's incredible. So you're. You'll have people who will find you through the drama because the drama and actually connect more to you than the people who are complaining. Or you'll have people who stay out of your world because of the complaints. And in the end, that will have been the best thing for both of you. So it's the trust and the feminine energy that really gets you through these. These hard times. One of my friend who sees a lot of movies, I always ask her if she liked a movie, and often she didn't like it, then I know I will. Okay, Shirley. I say, okay, Shallery. This is so funny because my uncle and my aunt and my mom and dad are like that about movies and wine. So it's like they. They are the opposite. If I like this wine, you won't like this wine. If I like this movie, you won't like this movie. And so it's so funny because my dad and my mom will sometimes be like, oh, there's this amazing movie we've been wanting to watch. Apparently it's amazing. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, how did you know it would be amazing? She's like, uncle Paul hates it. And you know, so it's like, it's a very good reference. It's. Oh, Uncle Paul hates that stuff. We love it. It's gonna be perfect. You know? You know, oh, this wine is so amazing. Uncle Paul will hate it. And it's funny because it just goes to show, like, if you like this, then you don't like that. If you don't like that, you like this. It's not always negative. If it's the truth, it's okay. Can you handle your ego? When something is correctly misaligned, is that okay? Can you let that be okay? I remember asking for alpha to alpha. What will the learning objectives and deliverables be? Yeah, I understand. And, and it's okay to ask. It's just to make a complaint because that's not readily available. For example. Well, that will just help anybody who needed that information and would be mad for it not being there. It's probably best that they don't. Like I do invisible offers. Will people know nothing. I'm. I do better with intuitive buyers. Doesn't mean that people don't ask what they need and get what they need also. But the type of person I don't do well with is a person who needs step by step by step everything confirmation before they say yes. And so it's actually better for me not to have the step by step sales page because it ensures those people don't even come in in the first place. Can you talk about how to address that? People in containers attracting more people who aren't your buyer. Not sure if I know what you mean. Can you rephrase the question? And Christie says, is there ever a time when you are speaking to your high ticket buyer in your content and you turn off your low ticket buyers from your low ticket offers? Or do you not have that problem because you change your content and messaging? Well, I. The way I see it is that my brand holds everything. It holds all truths. And if I've said something and someone is turned off by one thing because of something else I've said, they're just not my buyer. I don't think it's possible for me to turn off my. My right buyer when I'm speaking the truth. I can turn off my wrong buyer. That I believe, but I don't. That's okay. And that's come with a Lot of maturity. Because at first I thought I needed everybody to like me and what I did in order order to be successful. I thought bad reviews would hurt my business. I thought people who didn't like my stuff would be a big, big, big problem. And so I tried to make everybody like me to avoid that. I don't feel that anymore. I realized the maturity of saying, when you, you know, if I go to an Italian restaurant and I wanted French food and I'm mad because they didn't have French food on the menu, and I give the restaurant a one star review because there was no French food on the Italian menu, like, that's a me problem. It's not a restaurant problem. And I have seen that happen. I have seen. I was looking for restaurants in New York. I was looking for this or it was the opposite. It was a French menu. So looking at this French, very well renowned restaurant went and looked at the reviews and one person left a one star review because the French restaurant didn't have pizza. They were like, how do you go to an expensive restaurant in New York City and there's no pizza? One star review. Interesting. So for me, I would go to the restaurant even faster because I'd be like, well, this person is the furthest thing from an opinion that I would respect. So I even want to go to the restaurant even more. I never would have thought of that before. I would have thought a one star review is a bad thing. No matter how you spin it, it isn't. Trust that. Trust that. Okay, Michael hasn't answered me differently, so can you just come up, Michael, just so I can just get clarity on your question, this will be our last question for today.
Hi, gorgeous. Sorry, I don't have a shirt on right now, so I'm not gonna come on camera. You just said a couple of times that, you know, if you, if you sort of pull in the wrong people, that they tend to sort of bring their friends. Right. And a more specific context for me is like, I have shifted hugely in the last couple of years. So, you know, I, when I was in therapy world, I had a lot of people who were kind of in a real low point in their life and like, look in like a mental health crisis, let's say. And I've taken, you know, what do I know about the mind and behavioral change and stuff. And I'm really applying it to people who are already a great and helping them apply or helping them unlock like even greater levels of potential. But I sort of feel like this, this like guilt as I Keep having people come in that are like, well, I need you and I need your help with this, this thing. And I don't, you know, I don't have any money. And it's kind of like, it's like just shifting, like shifting out of that. Can you, can you riff on that?
So the thing that is the most required is you cannot feel bad about not being the right person to help them. And this has been the hardest thing for me. But, like, if you want to be the, the greatest in connection with your greatest buyer, then you've got to understand that you're the worst in connection to your worst buyer. And it cannot feel bad at all. And so if you can imagine, let's say Cartier, an amazing jewelry brand, imagine if I'm like, I want to buy a diamond, my budget is $12. I can't, like, bid. I just can't. And, and if I'm mad at that and I make a bad review or I say a thing like, I wanted to buy a diamond, my budget was $12. Cartier wouldn't sell me a diamond.
These six apples.
But this is what happens. You know, I went into Apple. Do you know how much the latest iPhone is? It's this much. It's preposterous. But that's the price. You know, I wanted to stay at this hotel. They were completely booked out for six months. I'm so disappointed. This is terrible service. That's not what that's called. That's called they're booked out because. They're booked out because they're successful. Like, so for you, when you're saying, I. I really appreciate you wanting to work with me and I love that it feels like I would be the right person to help you. However, I don't have anything available for that right now. You know, I have an old masterclass you can watch or I can refer you to a different teacher or I can do this for you, but like, I don't have anything do to. For you right now. And to remove the guilt is going to bring you closer to the person who just says yes.
I love that that you just said that. And I think some. There was a piece earlier about what you said about the woman master class because I've been taking all of my, like, mental health focused content that I made earlier in my career, and I just been making it free on YouTube and I feel like there's an energy of service in that. That feels so good to me because I think, I think it's really that person that I feel bad Charging anything to. I'm like this, you can just, you can just have it because you need it like you said earlier. So this was really powerful. Thank you.
So I had a person that wanted to buy the buyer and she asked if I ever did scholarships for the buyer. And I said that I don't do scholarships for the buyer, but I do have cash, that's 11. And she said, your prices are so high, it's stupid. Like why would anybody buy something at that price? And what I said to her is to be very honest, if that is your experience, they probably won't be beneficial to you anyway because the people who are buying these programs are wanting to sell things at similar prices. And she said, I do want to sell things at similar prices. Okay, then you're just fired. Like, I don't understand. So wait, you, your products are the same price as my products, but my products are too expensive. I was just like, okay, then we're just not a good match. You like the mind. The way people's minds work is sometimes just like, look, I have a four thousand dollar offer, I have a eleven offer. I sometimes have invisible offers. I also have free stuff like find what you want. No, I want the, I want the four thousand dollar thing for free. Well then I can't help you when you're not the right buyer for me because that's just disrespectful. And it's, it's like saying I want a diamond for $12. So you can't take any of that personally. That's when you just, oh, I understand the frustration. I would also be frustrated if I wanted a diamond and I only had $12. I understand the frustration. I'm also not the right person for you. This is also not the right company for you. And it's just letting go of the guilt. It's. I know what it feels like to wish I could go on vacation. I remember in 2009 or something, I was working for Sears Canada and I was working at a cosmetics counter and there was a travel counter in the Sears. And I used to go to the counter and just look at the travel destinations and I used to look at the pricing. And I remember one time there was this place in Jamaica that I wanted to go to and I was calculating how much it would take for me to go. And I calculated that based on my bills and the extra money I had, it was going to take me 13 years to pay off a trip to Jamaica. And it was a very upsetting moment for me when I realized that. And I was like, well, I will never travel because I'll never be able to buy a trip to Jamaica at that price. It's just not going to be possible for me to ever go to that location. Never in a million years would I have called the resort or the catalog company and said, look, my budget is $47. Can you please finagle me a trip to Jamaica at this hotel? Because I know I respect the price of the thing, even though I know I can't. I can't buy it. That's not everybody's experience, and you've got to respect as much as you can that not everybody gets it. You're going to offer things that are expensive, and people are going to hate that, but other people it'll be perfect for. That's why this buyer conversation is so important, because the thing people need that should be affordable, but the thing people want, that's got to be whatever the heck you decide it costs. And if they want it enough, they'll buy it. And if they don't want it, they're not your buyer, so you're fine. So what we want to untangle here is anything that's not that. Anything that's in the way where that feels like it's not possible for you. Anything where it feels like I feel guilty or I feel bad, I'm snapping off camera. You know, either I feel guilty or I feel bad, or I feel like, what if those are the things we really want to dig up until we're just like, this is squeaky cling and I got this, then we can start building. But we've got to make sure there's no more what ifs. So that's really your coursework. And dig it up before your activation with Jacqueline, because she's really going to help you solidify what's coming up next. My intention for you in these programs is not just that I teach you stuff. It's that of all the things you could be doing as an entrepreneur and all the ways your mind can be working and all the things you can be thinking about that you're thinking about the sharpest, most solid things for yourself and for your business, that's what I want. I want the discussions that live in your mind to be empowering discussions with yourself, that the things that you contemplate have a purpose where it breaks through and you get what you need. And for that, we've got to go through these processes. Added somatic exploration of Melanie's wisdom to today's list. That's amazing. Do you have any tips for letting go of those last bits of guilt? So you're gonna go and you're gonna ask yourself very similarly to what I. I said before. Like, what is the guilt? What do I imagine they will think? Which part of me used to suffer like this? What. Who do I. What do I imagine this person is? Who do I imagine they are? Why do I imagine I'm a bad person? Have I been told I'm a bad person? Have I used to think in the past other people are bad people? Where does this come from? Is something my parents said. It's something I said. Is it a past experience, Experience of mine? Like, let's. Let's see where this comes from. What could happen? What could they say? Am I bad? Am I overcharging? Do I not believe it's worth this? Where is this coming from? And keep asking questions until you. You get it, because it's. It's in a discussion. It's not just, do I still feel guilty? Yes. What do I do about that? It's not just like that. It's. I wonder why. Let me look at that. When. When did I feel that? Why do I imagine that? Is there something here? What could there be? It's in really looking at the conversation that way that you start to unpack it, and then Jacqueline's going to bring in an activation that's going to bring things home, and then we'll have another discussion, and it'll go even deeper. So thank you so much for being here. I feel lighter after today. That's fantastic. This is my favorite program so far. This is amazing. So enjoy these explorations. Thank you for everyone who participated and who asked questions. This is an amazing call, and I will be seeing you very soon on our next call. Have the most beautiful day. Bye.
