The Buyer 2023 - Module 7

Sa Sam. Hello, gorgeous human beings of the biome. How are you feeling today? What is the vibe with me? Have a look at who is with us on camera. We have Lindsay in the house. Anna is here. Ricky is here. Size here. Hello. Christy, Merlin, Linda. Hello. Hello. Kim. Bertha is in the house. Yay. And then off camera we've got Lisa and Michael and Kristen, Ilana, Anna, Charmaine. Hello. Hello. Hello. I know for some of you it is quite early in the California or the, the p PST time zone. So thank you for being here. All right, so let me pin this. Now. Today we're going to have a very important conversation. Glasses are coming off for this one. So we are going to be talking about self importance. And this is one of those modules that's like has the potential to be life changing in so many other areas than just your business. Because what I have found is that for a lot of heart led entrepreneurs our big fear is actually to be seen as people who don't care or who are selfish in any kind of way or who are all about the money. And so if you have ever had that fear and you've recognized it, that you would fear that someone would look at you and think that person doesn't care about people. That person's ego driven. That person's all about the money. That person's all about. If you've ever had any kind of fear like that, kind of raise your hand or say yes. Just so I have an idea of the vibe. Okay, so this happens a lot for heart centered entrepreneurs and it's one of our big blocks when it comes to our pricing. So I had asked you to kind of have a look at your pricing and see what that effortless pricing is. And so I and I also had asked to go into certain stores and kind of experience what it felt like to be a buyer there. So I saw Jonathan's live about that. I read Christie's post about her number. So what I would be curious to see is who here has found that the number that they felt comfortable with or the number that they found themselves to actually feel the most comfortable with is less than what they would prefer. They would like to feel comfortable with higher numbers. When they looked at it, they were like, okay, so can you see without even going deep and going into the whole shebang how easy and simple it is to see that if you're afraid that you're going to be seen as all about the money and you're superficial and you don't care about people, it only makes sense that Your prices are going to be on the lower side because you don't want to look like you only care about the money. So you're going to do this thing in order to look a certain way. It's like it's normal, right? We're going to make the prices a little bit lower so that we don't have to handle the fear that people will think we don't care about them and we just care about the money and we just want to raise our price too much. So for a lot of heart centered entrepreneurs, this is what happens. The prices are low, so you don't have to deal with your feelings about maybe charging too much and other people judging you and other people thinking you don't care about them. So one thing that I realized along this journey in order for me to really be able to hold this success, is that I had to raise my level of self importance in a way that made me extremely uncomfortable. So what is self importance? We know what self love is. We've talked about love, we've talked about care in the world. But often when we talk about self importance, we see it as a negative thing. We see it like a self important person is a negative aspect of the person. So I want to tidy this up for us. A lot of times when you're getting more and more successful, a lot of the old paradigm leaders will tell you you've got to care a little bit less about what people think about you. That's like, that's, that's the key. You've got to stop caring so much. Have you ever heard that? Read it in a book, Heard a mentor talk about it, Hear people on Instagram, somebody say, you've got to care less, Right? So I had a problem with that because I really don't know how to do that. Like, I actually don't know how to do that. I feel like part of everything that I do and why people are drawn to me is because they feel the genuine care I have for people. And so if I turn that off, I stop being the very person I am. And so what tends to happen a lot of times though is this is exactly what people do, the more successful they become. Because a lot more people come in with expectations and a lot more people come in with problems and a lot more people come in with projections and anger. People will turn their feelings down so that they're not as affected by what's happening, but then it changes their magnetism and it changes their enjoyment of what they do and it changes their passion and it Changes all things. So I really contemplated this and I realized something quite groundbreaking. For me, it wasn't so much about caring less, it was about making sure that as I continued to care more. Because actually, the crazy thing is, the more successful I got, the more I care. Never would I have imagined that the more money I had, I was like, let's buy my dad a Cadillac. Let's buy my mom a Rolex. Let's clear my brother's debt and pay for his wedding. Let's clear my sister's debt and do this and do that, and let's do this and let's do that. Like, oh, yeah, let's take care of that and let's do that. Let's add more employees. Let's make sure we pay them a lot. Oh, let's add bonuses. Oh, let's, let's take this person there for their birthday. Let's buy them a Cartier bracelet. Everyone gets diamonds for Christmas. Like, I did not think that that part of me would be so strong, but it, it did become that strong. And so if your heart grows as the money comes in and your self importance doesn't, there's going to be an issue which is it's going to be very hard to put boundaries. It's going to be very hard to say no because it'll feel like as long as you can, probably should say yes. And so what we enter now is another dimension of money, which is the power dimension. And so the things that we really have to work on as a human when we're working on sacral energy, which is sex, money, power, we're working on our magnetism and sex appeal. We're working on our money and our ability to hold actual money. And we're working on the power and the feeling of being in power and the fear of what that means and the responsibility that comes with that. And those three energies can get really all mixed up. So in the buyer paradigm, what we're really working with is always the three. Money, sex and power. Money, intimacy and power. Money, sex appeal and power. Money, magnetism and power. Money, money, connection and power. That feeling of being drawn, attracted, turned on by something, wanting it, being attracted by it. And so if in your business you raise your prices, so you raise the money, but you keep your power and your magnetism low because you're hiding. You don't want to be responsible. You don't want people to want something from you. You're afraid to be seen. You're not. It's not going to match because actually the frequency of full fully being seen as money, sex and power. You're owning your presence, your magnetism, your attractor factor, your attractiveness factor. You're owning your power and your ability to own the room. And you're owning your money. And that is something that's hard for us to do three at a time. We tend to be like, okay, the hottest I've ever been was when I was completely broke and I had no power. And then the most powerful I've ever felt was, you know, when I could buy whatever I want, when I was buying whatever I wanted and I never said no to myself. But then there's no power in that and you kept no money or, you know, the more I felt the most, whatever it is, it's like one without the two others, so what we're trying to do, or two without the one. We're wanting to bring all of our power to the table. And for that, you've actually got to raise your frequency to be able to hold your magnetism, your power and your money. And that is so freaking uncomfortable because you stand out like a sore thumb or like a glowing thumb. Binks. People are like, what the heck is this person? Who the heck is that? Why are they like that? I don't like that. I don't like that I feel less powerful than you. So there's something wrong that you're doing instead of you're, I feel less powerful when I'm around you. I should work on my power. It's like you're doing something wrong. I don't like that you have so much money. You should have less instead of, I could make more. I don't like your magnetism. Makes me feel less than instead of, where have I been not taking care of myself. There's an immediate trigger. You become this like, trigger on legs because everything you have and everything that you are is the thing that I want that I feel like I can't have. And how dare you have it. So when we are very heart led and we care about people, it only makes sense that the logical thing to do is to lessen all of those things. You're uncomfortable. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I want you to love me here. A little bit less power, a little bit less money, a little bit less sex appeal. Are you more happier with me now? Are you cozier with me now? And we do this, we say, I'm going to choose you loving me, liking me. I'm going to choose this comfort thing with you over me being the one over me really claiming my, my whole power. And it's not easy to do that, to actually claim into the fullness of ourselves, because not a lot of people we know do it. And so because we're sticking out like a glowing thumb and no one else around us is doing it, feels like there's something wrong with us. Like, if you were to tomorrow morning wake up and be glowing, like, actually, you probably stay in your room for a couple of days, try to Google what the heck's going on. You wouldn't just walk outside like, I'm neon. I'm neon glowing right now, and I'm owning it. You'd be like, something is wrong. I'm glowing. You wouldn't just want to stick out like that. You'd be like, wait, let me just figure out what this is. And I think a lot of us do that when we first come into power and magnetism and money, we just kind of go, wait, let me figure out what this is. Because I don't know what to do with this. And I don't want to be judged for this and I don't want to be misunderstood for this instead of saying, hey, I found the glow and walk with pride and strength and like, I got this. So why is it so important that our self importance grows as much as our love? Why is this important? Because if your heart grows in your business but your self importance doesn't, you're going to find yourself doing things that kill the longevity of your business. You're going to give all your money away, There'll be nothing left. You will feel like you can't share anything powerful about your life and actually only see the negative so that you can stay relatable to the people you love so they don't feel uncomfortable. And your mindset will get all tangled, then you'll crash the boat. You'll not ever let yourself actually go into the. The next level of you. And you'll, you'll sabotage at a certain level. Never go past it. Or you'll never let yourself get creative with the resources that you have. So I'll give you an example for me to decide. Let's invest in the video animations for Alpha Femme and let's, let's really do the beautiful branding and let's really put ourselves out there with the way that I speak and the way that I write. Let's not dumb it down a little bit and write it simple. The way mainstream marketing says, you've got to write it. Like, a third grader could read it like, well, instead of Doing all that, like, let's make it simple. If I had just made everything simple, that would have been in order to be liked. Because I know my stuff bugs people. And the reason it bugs people is like, it's not fair that you can do that because I can't do that yet. And so you have an advantage. And I don't like that. But when I went in with my full power and my ownership of my, my self importance and my company's importance, I said, let's be a pioneer, let's be avant garde, let's go ahead of the trends, let's create something that no one's ever done before. Let's go above and beyond. I want to be the owner of a brand that's like paving the way. And that feeling of me deciding to do that is what created the advancement of my brand. If I was too afraid to be seen in that power, if I was too afraid to be seen in that magnetism, if I was too afraid to be seen spending that money, I never would have done it. And then I wouldn't have brought the industry forward the way that I did, but I would have been maybe a little more liked, more universally liked, but probably not more paid. Because the things you do to be liked and the things you do to be paid are not always the same thing as you gotta be able to hold your power. So I've constantly been pushing the envelope and thinking to myself, how can, how can I express myself more in my power, in my, in my creativity? I'm willing to invest the money, I'm willing to invest the time to create the thing that I want to create. You. There's got to be a level of self importance there. My brand matters, my vision matter. I matter. Even if it makes people uncomfortable, I'm still going to go for it. If I only care about being liked, all of that stuff becomes almost impossible for me to do. I get blocked. Can't do it. Too afraid. What will they say? And so when you are contemplating raising your prices a little bit, it probably comes with the first thought of like, what will they say? What will they say if they see me charged that much? What will my peers say? Will they think I'm better than them? Will they think I think I'm better than them? If they're charging this much and I'm charging this much? Will my clients think I don't care about them anymore? If you know, I know the average of what they can spend in this package is this much more, will people think? Will people think? Will People think and that's where a lot of heart centered entrepreneurs end up. Parking the car and being like, I need to think, I can't move, I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go from here. I don't want to bug people. So we have got to manage the level of how much we love and care about people and the level at which we feel like we matter. If we don't do that, if we only focus on being of service and being liked and being nice, there is an issue that starts to happen. The buyers we attract don't respect us as much. So if you can imagine people that have a lot of money, especially the ones who have generational wealth, they were taught a certain level of importance because probably their parents from the time they were very young explained to them how reputation matters, that they're, they have status and so the kids have to be well behaved. Like from a very young age. Kids that are brought up with money, they're, they understand that they matter. How they show up matters, how they dress matters, their matter, their manners matter, everything matters because they're being watched by the outside people to make sure they deserve the money. You see where I'm going with this? Kids that come from money from a very young age understand they're important. Not even on purpose. It's kind of this like you've got to be well behaved now you've got a thing on your shirt. Let me fix that. You've got to sit around to the table. Do you have table manners? Do you have this? Do you have that? They matter, they're important. This sometimes goes well, sometimes it doesn't. Because a lot of times then where, where they're missing is the love. We're looking for a balance. We want the balance between love and genuine care for people and self importance. So for some people they're very self important and the love part is missing. For some people they've got a lot of love and the self important part is missing. And so that balance is missing, right? So when you, when you are born into that. So Emily says, I had that, but without the love. So you're very self important. It's important that you show up a certain way, but you're not being met with that. The love and the career. There's this other issue that starts to come in. What we want are the kinds of buyers that love and that are heart centered and they're self important. Why do we want them to be self important? Because if they're not, they will Never spend thousands of dollars on themselves. If not, they will buy for everybody else. And if you're in the service business, you know that having clients that only care about everybody else does not take you very far. So you've got to have a person that's balanced in love and self importance. Because if they think they're so self important, you're treated like, go get me the thing, you're disposable, I don't care about you. We don't, we don't want to feel like that. That doesn't work for us. So the only way that we can hold ourselves with a buyer that has a lot of self importance is we have to have self importance. Because if not would become a disposable service. You'll notice that people who are, have a little bit of a chip or who think they're very important and treat a lot of people like they don't matter in a room where they could be deleted or canceled all of a sudden super well behaved because they value what they value. They value this. The a person that's able to hold their own self importance. So I'll give you an example if this person. I actually have a very true example. A few years ago I was born. We were going, I can't remember where we were flying, but I was on a. Just a normal flight, 108 passengers, tiny little fright flight. There's no first class, there's no nothing. It's a cheap flight from one place to the other. And one of the women on the flight was gorgeous like she was. She took such good care of herself. She was wearing all brands, her suitcases were brands, all she was wearing was brands. Super fancy, all organized. And the plane had something wrong with it. We all had to get off the plane and as we got off the plane, she went to the front desk and she started to yell at the front desk person saying like, do you understand who I am and where I need to be? Like I have, like this flight is going to cost me so much money. I have so many people waiting on me. Like I have to be at this place and you guys can't just take us all off to play. Like I, you need to put me on another flight right now. You don't understand. I just thought to myself, if you're so important, why are you flying economy now? The, the person at the desk was a little flustered and they were like, you're going to have to tone it down. But still they didn't have the power to be like, you know, What? You have no flight today. Go home. They didn't have the power to be like, why aren't you? Would you like to see some of our private fleets? Because I think that you've made a mistake. This was not 108 passenger flight, all for you. There's 108 other people on it. All equal importance. The way you're dressed doesn't change your value on this flight. If you wanted to be treated differently, if you wanted to be able to dictate when the plight flight goes and wear with more, you know, precision, then he. Would you like to see a list of our private fleets that are about a hundred times the price, a thousand times the price so that you can get to where you would like to go on time. But no, they were just like, ma', am, we're so sorry, but there's nothing we can do. But also, please don't yell at us. And she was just getting increasingly and increasingly angrier, talking about how she would never fly with this airline again. And all I could think of was like, there is a mismatch here. You think you're so important, but you don't treat yourself that way or you never would have booked an economy flight to go to somewhere this important. If you're that important and it's going to cost you tens of thousands of dollars, then why not just get a private flight? Why not get there at night in advance, pay an extra night at the hotel, do something. This is the mismatch for power. So I want you to imagine in your own business when you do something at a lower price and someone's mad with you and they say it's not good enough and they yell at you and they're like, I didn't. You, I didn't. I wasn't seen by you. You never even saw my thing. I didn't. I don't feel like the service was personalized. Is your first intuition to say, I feel like you were probably in the wrong package because I have packages that are exponentially more expensive where you would get the kind of support that I feel like you're expecting here? Or would your intuition to be, to feel really guilty, think your programs aren't good enough, and be like, I have to over give and I need to do more in this tiny little package because this person was not happy at this level and so obviously this isn't good enough. Like, isn't it wild how we will very often go to our package wasn't good enough because someone wasn't satisfied. Instead of they have A level of importance that's so high, yet they put themselves in one of my smallest packages. Where's my power to tell them you bought the wrong thing? With this amount of expectation, you should have been in my private mentorship, not in my $222 masterclass. With this level of self importance, you should have been in the suite designed by, you know, Lenny Kravitz, not in the typical two single bed bedrooms for $300. With this level of self importance, you should be sitting at the chef's table with the specialized menu that has fresh catch of the day, not waiting up, lining up outside, hoping a table becomes available because there are so many people who want to get in, they can't even get in. We don't. For some reason, we immediately go to what we created is not good enough. Instead of the person that's in the thing is not at their own level of power, of buying power. And what's often happening when that happens is that we are not clear on the boundaries, we're not clear on our own self importance. We're saying everyone can come and everyone will be happy and I'll take care of everyone. And so the very important people that feel very important say, okay, well I wanna, I wanna feel the way you've just described. But their, their expectations are much higher and their needs are much higher. And not a lot of people are tailoring to the people that have the money right now. Because we've been taught that helping means helping people who need the money a lot of the time. But the fact is, if you can imagine in your mind what you imagined, you'd be treated like when you had a lot of money. A lot of us put on a pedestal that once we had the money we'd be treated special and different. But money doesn't mean status. Money is one thing, power is another thing. We, we're not taught that. So it's not just because you buy something that you're more valuable because you have more money, you bought it, you're the same as everybody else. It's what you buy that changes the level of power and status. So if we want to have people that come into our world that are heart centered but powerful, then we've got to create opportunities for them to purchase where they can be met at that level. And we've got to have the capacity to be self important enough to say, I deserve these kinds of buyers, I am worthy of this kind of thing, I can build it, I can create it, I'm good enough to become A match for those buyers. If you cannot hold your level of self importance, you'll get eaten alive by a self important buyer. They will run circles around you and you will end up being a disposable service. They'll expect you to give more and do more and do everything because they don't feel your power and they feel like they're the one in power and it will never end. So we have got to find a way when we're going into the luxury industry to raise the love we have for our buyers, the world, our passion for our work, that has to keep rising. So we continue to be creative, so we continue to have ideas, so we continue to care, so we continue to attract people who want to feel important. And at the same time, we have to raise our level of self importance, our boundaries and our standards to make sure that when those people find us, we're an energetic match and we don't just become a disposable service. And no one tells us about this. And so it's something you end up finding out on the fly. Usually after you've like spent so many years over giving or spent so much money over giving or spent so many, whatever it is, ripping your hair out trying to figure out why people aren't satisfied when you've given everything you've got, what's missing is the power piece. The ideal buyer has a beautiful ratio between love for others and love for themselves. Because if they don't have love for themselves, they will not be spending multiple thousands of dollars on themselves. You are here in this program, you're in the AFE because you care about yourself and your business or else you wouldn't be here. You have to have a level of care about yourself and your business in order to invest in something like this. If you don't care, you don't do this. You'd be like, I'll give this money to somebody else. Which is not a bad thing. We need people in the world that are like that as well. But those are not our luxury buyers. Those are not the buyer. And so in order to have this relationship, there has to be a mutual respect and a mutual connection. This is why you can't lower the love. When you who here is kind of well versed in luxury shopping, maybe they have a person from one of the luxury brands in their phone. Like you could text your person, right? Okay, so here's how luxury buyers, usually luxury brands are doing it right now. You go into the store, you find your buyer. Once they start to figure out what Your style is. They'll even text you with new arrivals that are your style. They'll show you what's in. I can like text a person. If I'm going to Miami, I'm going to the Miami, you know, fashion district. I'll like text my person all the time like, hey, I'm coming to Miami. If you've got anything like, okay, let me keep an eye open for you. And if you ever do come, I'll have stuff prepared so you don't need to shop the whole store. I'll show you what I know you like and it'll be fast and efficient for you. This is the kind of thing that's happening. If the person doesn't like me, this becomes the worst job on earth. But if it's like, oh my gosh, you're coming in, I want to be there. I'm letting the other person know. Everybody wants to be there. When you come shopping, that's the kind of day that they are so lit up by. Melanie's coming. Oh my gosh, can you shift with me? One of my clients is coming in that day and I really want to be there. Yes, of course. And then I show up and three of my favorite sales team is there and there's champagne on the table and they're so happy and they've got all this stuff out for me and they didn't fake that. This is the best part about their job and I don't fake that. My favorite part of buying, we're an energetic match. Now if I were a colossal jerk, but there was money to be made, I would probably need to have a very strong self important person deal with me. If not, I would entirely devalue the brand. Can you imagine walking into a store like Louis Vuitton and have someone bossing the staff around like, you go get me that purse and you go get me that. That would devalue the store massively. So if you're going to have a self important buyer, you need the person who's like, we don't have any of that left. This is very exclusive. You don't get access to that. What blew my mind is that I got access to some of the most extraordinary things in the, in the fashion world and in the jewelry world. And I got a lot of opportunities because in being that buyer that I'm teaching you guys about here, I became the dream client for all the brands I love. And if they're allowed to treat anybody to anything, they are going to treat their ideal buyer. And you will be Shocked that the ideal buyer is not just the one with all the money, it's the one with the money that you love to spend time with. That is your ideal buyer. And so it's not just about being rich. You've got to stay happy, you've got to stay connected to your passion, You've got to stay lit up, you've got to stay real. You've got to stay fun and funny and light. Because what people love about you is the fact that you are the coolest, funnest person that you truly are. And the sky isn't even the limit for you. You get to say yes to whatever you want. That's the balance of love for the world. You know, seeing value in the product you're seeing, seeing value in the company you're working with, seeing value in the employee you are working with, seeing value in the connections you've made and valuing yourself, valuing your money, valuing your power, valuing your choices, and knowing you can say no. Those are the best buyers. Those are the best buyers. And the best way to attract a buyer like that is to be a buyer like that. And that's why I wanted you to go in the stores and test it out. How do you feel if as soon as you can't afford something you notice, you lower your power to become invisible? Gotta work on that. If you notice you lower your magnetism so that you don't attract the sales team because you're afraid they're going to make you spend your money. Notice that there are so many things we do to be invisible because we cannot handle holding our money, our power, and our magnetism, sex appeal, all the things, all at the same time. It feels like we're a target instead of understanding that we're actually the most powerful version of ourselves when we're. When we're like that, and our buyer is the most powerful version of themselves when they're like that and we attract who we are. So the more you're in that energy, the more you attract people that are in that energy as well. They can hold their power, that understand that they have the money, that are not afraid of you. They understand they could say no at any time. They let themselves get excited. They let themselves try it on, they let themselves contemplate it. If it's right for them, they know they'll buy it. And if they don't want it, they won't. And you get to feel safe with them as well, because you don't feel like you're going to push them into buying something they don't want. You feel like you can have fun with them and actually compliment them and they won't think you're lying. Like, these are the best buyers. They're the ones who know they're hot. So when you tell them you look great, they're like, I know. They're not saying, you're just saying that to manipulate me. They're like, I know. Thank you. I'll never feel manipulated by you. I know. And if you were to lie to me, I would just feel like I don't like you or I don't. I feel like you're disposable because you don't have the power to tell me the truth and you're just after my money. So you've become a disposable service. This is what we have got to start working on in order to have those bigger ticket sales is we've got to understand that balance within ourselves and within other people. And it's a difficult one because the biggest fear is that we're going to become these just self important jerks. But that doesn't happen if you continue to grow your heart as well. And I'm telling you, the more people you help, the more people you serve and the more money you make. If you don't go cold, your heart is going to grow bigger than you ever thought possible. You're going to care about every business you work with. You're going to care about every supplier you encourage. You're going to care about every service provider and every person that you hire or work with. You're going to care about people more than you ever thought you could because you're going to see the value of their work and what it took for them to become who they are. You're going to see them, their power, their passion. You're going to see people in a way you never did before. It's actually quite striking how much more love you have available inside of you. But if that takes over and you don't do the power thing, it'll feel like you should give stuff away for free. It'll feel like you need to lower your prices. It'll feel like you feel guilty. You have so much already, what's the point? You won't want to celebrate. You won't know where to celebrate. You feel like people are out to get you. The whole thing kind of shrivels up like an old prune. That is not the vibe. It's not what we want. So I would love to know if something in this Conversation is stirring something up for you. If you're like, okay, Ricky, come on up. Hi. Thank you. Hello.

I have something that I think is just a small thing in my thinking that isn't straight. So recently I've been attracting clients that are capital B buyers, capital C clients. Like, so much fun.

We laugh.

My best work, I'm like, what did I do? It's perfect. Weirdly enough, I noticed that I have some of those clients that sign up with me at my ideal number at 4444amonth. That's my number where I'm like, I know I over deliver at that price. I'm very happy there. Then I have some people that I'm in conversation with about that package. And where I get weird is because these people are so fun. I, I kind of don't want to charge at all. Like, yes, like, this is so good. It doesn't feel like work. Like, can I even allow? That's where I'm like, I would do it for free for all of you.

I love this. So first of all, I feel like this with all of you guys. This is the most fun when I have the best clients. Like, I could literally work all day. I have the time of my life. This is so much fun. At the end of the day, what we want is to love our life. So when you start to love your work, that's like you've, you've hit the jackpot. Right? But the issue is like, can I charge for things being this great? Like, can I. Well, let's think about this. Can you charge for being the DJ in the, in a nightclub? Can you charge for painting works of art? Can you charge for singing on a stage with a million raving fans all over the world? Can you charge for acting in a movie? Can you charge for selling jewelry and drinking champagne with your favorite clients? Can you charge for chartering a yacht?

Yeah.

It gets to be this good in the luxury market. It is this good. And it has to be. And your level of love for what you're doing in your work makes you so much more valuable because most people don't love their work. And so receiving the service from a person who doesn't like their work also is why you, you pay less. Because, like, I've got to deal with you and your crappy attitude. I want a discount. But if you are the life of the party and I get you on top of the service I'm getting, I get you. There's a premium for that. Wow.

I think this also makes me Realize that when I have this much fun, my magnetism comes in because I'm having so much fun. And I don't think I've ever held money, sex, and power in my life. It's like you said, it's always been two out of three or maybe one out of three. So this is also just me energetically going like, I'm everything, and I'm a little nervous, so I back down. So thank you. I felt it when you were saying it. Like, it gets to be this much fun. That feels good and a lot, and I'm going to lean into that. So thank you. I love this.

The thing that's crazy, though, is that people are going to struggle with watching you be all those things. The ones that don't have them all or that don't have any of them. And those are the ones that. That start getting mad and say things that actually get to us because our heart is big. That's why we've got to strengthen ourselves and understand the concept that this is actually a huge freaking deal. And you are a trigger on legs. Never mind magic on legs. You are trigger on legs in these moments because people are just like, how the heck are you doing this? And who do you think you are? And how are you allowing yourself to be this? I could never allow myself to be this. How did you find the confidence? How did you find the power? How did you find the strength? How can you let people see you like this? How can you. How can you hold it? I can't do that. Why can you? We grew up together. You're my sister. You're my daughter. How. How can you do this? We started at the same time. You have less followers than me. You. You. You. You know, you can't. It's. You're not allowed.

I love this so much. I'm tearing up because I'm ready. I can feel it. Like, I. I used to be so afraid of this throughout middle school, throughout high school, and now you're saying these things. I'm like, oh, this is all. What all the inner work was for. Like, I'm ready for that. That's okay with me.

I love you. I love you. I love this. This is the vibe. So you see this level of joy. Can you imagine you have, like, three service providers that you can work with. One of them is saying, when I am successful, I'm going to help people and I'm not going to charge a lot, and I'm just going to be. I'm not going to be like, one of those people. I'm not going to charge a lot. There's another service provider that says, if you're gonna work with me, you're lucky because I am the best and I will make sure that nobody who disrespects me gets into my world or you get this. I've never been happier. I'm holding all of my power. I cannot believe it. I'm ready for this. Which one are you effortlessly drawn to with your money? Which is the one you want to spend with? Which is the one that you're like you? It's Ricky, it's the energy of you match everything that I want to feel. And when people have vision and when people have a belief in themselves, they believe they can feel like that one day. And the more they spend time with that energy, the better it is for them. The people this is difficult for are the people who don't believe they could ever touch that energy, don't think they could ever have it, and feel extremely triggered by the fact that you do. But those are not your buyers. And that is like part of our responsibility to say part of my self importance is that I do not spend time arguing with people who do not even value what it took me to get here or getting here in the first place. Ricky for president. So what we want for all of us is for it to be contagious. Life is fun, business is booming, clients are loving it. People are saying yes, nobody can trample on you. You say no, excuse me. If you want to. If you want a higher level of importance, you're in the wrong package. I have something 10 times the price of this. If you want to be seen the way you're demanding to be seen in this lower end thing, I've got the right thing for you. But we've got to have a discussion about a very different price point. You've got to speak to power like you recognize that. You've got to speak to money like you recognize that. You got to speak to life like it's like, I own this life, it's mine. So no, you don't get to speak to me like this. And yes, you can have the thing that you want, but it definitely doesn't come in this package and I don't have that available anymore. Or you don't get to work with me if you're going to be this way anymore. And that's not easy. People hate it. They hate it. And you will be so shocked because people are entitled. Some people have a lot of self entitlement, not a lot of Heart. And they will show that up. They will show that everywhere. Like, I've had people in my free containers show the kind of. They think they own my team or me. They think they're owed something. They haven't even never spent a dollar with the company. It's like, where did you get that? Because you're missing a lot of heart in order to have that amount of self power. Like, you know, you think you're so great, but there's a lot of things missing before you get to fully own that. And it works for you. We need to work on your heart, your compassion, your communication, your leadership, whatever is wounded inside of you. Like all the soft parts need, need moving because this is not working. And then there's all the people with all the love and all the things and it never works. And I don't understand why. And I can see them be trampled all over all the time. And it's like, well, we need to toughen you up a little bit because there's more love than you could go around the world twice with your love. But you unplug your power the minute someone asks you to just to be nice. This is not going to work. We need both the love and the power. And so there are things that tend to stop us from having those things. And, you know, I, I love when Ricky said, like, there's a part of me that remembers like growing up and feeling, you know, bullied or feeling like, what. What's the thing that you're afraid is going to come back? What are you, what have you seen other people go through that? You're like, I don't think I could handle that if it happened. Because in order for you to really fully break through in this bigger buyer paradigm, you've got to be able to hold your magnetism, your power and your money, which is the hardest for you. When you have money, do you immediately feel like you need to give it away? Does it feel like you should probably help someone real fast? You, you feel like you need to overpay your team right away. You feel guilty. The more money you make, it feels like you need to give it away. Your family struggling, you end up paying for everything for them. You, you have a very hard time keeping any of the money. You spend it on silly things because you're afraid that you're going to lose it. You don't feel like you can hold on to it. So you're like, quick, let me spend it before it goes. Is it the power? You have the money, but you're Constantly talking about how hard things are. You feel guilty for how good things are. And so you're like, yeah, I'm gonna make a lot of money, but things are actually really difficult and really hard. You know what it takes for me to make this is a lot like you want to make it. You. You focus on where the things are harder so people don't feel like things are good. And you're rich a lot. So it's like, yeah, but here's where I'm disempowered. And this is where I'm disempowered. Do you unplug your entire system as soon as someone doesn't like you? This. This has been my biggest one. Holding the power. Can you continue? When someone says, you don't deserve this, when someone says, you're not good enough, when someone tries to point out a flaw in you, do you let yourself continue to hold the power that it takes? Boundaries, standards, saying, nope, you don't have access to me anymore. This is limited access. The call lasts one hour, not a minute longer. You've exceeded the voxer capacity this week. It's. You know, when you have a person visit a house, you're a real estate person. Someone's like, okay, my budget's 600,000. And every house they're showing you, they're like, but there's no pool. There is no fourth floor. Where's my 17th bathroom? And you're like, we either need to reorganize your budget or you need to be realistic about what you want. But I am not going to show you 700 houses when your price point and your expectations don't match. Do you. Are you able to tell your buyer you are not. You're not in the correct package? You would need to be spending more money to get the level of service you're requesting. Can you be powerful like that? Or do shrink? To accommodate, to be nice, to be kind? Do give. Or is it the magnetism and the sex appeal? As soon as people are looking at you and you look like you are too confident, you look like you feel too at ease with yourself, there's something like, who does this person think they are? With that empowering look in their eye and all their makeup done and their hair done and the style and, you know, the beautiful aesthetics and the beautiful thing and like, who are you? Are you afraid people will think you're trying to be something that you're not? Are you afraid that you're going to get unwanted attention? Are you afraid that your. Your old friends or family or partner. Or ex partner. Or ex partner in law. Or your kids will be like, no. Are you afraid of that magnetism? When people are like, oh my gosh, what the heck? Do you go, no, just old top, Just an old shirt, just an old thing. I know I'm pretty, but I actually stink. Please don't think I'm great. This old thing, this is broken. It's torn under my armpit, there's a big hole. Like, don't even give me a compliment. Oh, yeah, my hair, it holds like this when I haven't washed it in a week. Huh? You did yesterday's makeup. No, no. Don't find me attractive. When you're walking, do you walk looking down? If someone looks at you and smiles, can you hold a smile? If a person from the opposite sex or if someone from the same sex tells you you are stunning, do you say thank you? Or do you go, I'm married. Are you able to hold the energy of attraction, physical connection, people being enamored by you, people being magnetized by you, Are you able to hold that? Do you think because you look a certain way, you don't deserve those things? Do you say, well, I'll never be looked at this way because I don't have the right features on my face or my body doesn't look the way that people would admire, and so I'll never have that anyway, there's no point. You discredit your magnetism and your beauty because you just don't think, well, no, with a face like this, you know, I don't need to worry about that. You discredit yourself. Do you not even try? Because you're like, I don't have that part. Can you. If you could be totally empowered in all three areas. And it's not just what you say, it's also how you feel. Do you say, thank you? And inside you're like, let me get away from here quick. You say, thank you, but inside you're like, yeah, right. What do you want? What's the actual energy in all three? Because if you knew that you're all that, that you're extraordinarily magnificent, that you're powerful, that you're smart, that you're capable, that you're magnetic, that you're a genius, you're wealthy. If you're all of that, what would not be safe anymore? Like, what would be. Like, what would you be afraid of? Are there old friends that would be mad? Or would you stop being a match? And this is where sometimes the scary stuff comes up. It's like, I'm already having power dynamics in my relationship. I already feel like I'm out earning my partner. I already feel like my partner needs a lot of me being under my power so they can take care of me. Because if I was any more powerful, I don't know how they could give me anything at this point. I don't think they have the power. I don't think they have. They don't have matching energy, sex appeal. They don't have that. And I'm the one that makes all the money. So if I do that, I think I'm gonna. I'm gonna go so far from my relationship that I'm terrified. Is it your family, like, all of a sudden that you're gonna be the one black sheep? And you've always been the black sheep and easier to just be. Go look inside and be like, okay, okay, okay. And what I want you to realize is this. If the self importance grows and the love doesn't, I understand why you fear what you fear. But in this work, we grow the self importance and the love, which means what you actually become is the most extraordinary person that everyone is so lucky to have. It's the fantasy in the book where you end up with, like, the dream partner that's hot and powerful and rich and, you know, the person they fall in love with, this person working at the hardware store, like, how does that work? Well, because they are able to love and see the beauty in people. And somehow people calibrate to power in their presence. Like, you don't have to find an equal match. You. The people will calibrate to equal match because of your heart. You don't need to all of a sudden cut all your friends off because you genuinely love them. And they'll be like, I can't believe I have a friend like you that has it all. I feel so loved and special. But this is the big, important kicker in all of this. Our job, once. Once we really navigate the money, the sex appeal, the power, the. Our job, once we have all of that is our job, is not to make people feel special. And that's where we trip and fall. We think, I'm all, I'm so powerful now. I need to make people feel special. Here's what the real secret is. You do that and then you acknowledge that people are special. If they cannot make themselves understand that they're special in your presence, anything you do for them will always make them feel smaller. Even the nice things. There is a difference between I wanted you to feel special and you are so special to me. There is a difference between I wanted you to feel so important and you're so important to me. And you will see that the brands that get this and the people who get this are the ones that have the longevity because they don't do things in order for people to feel important or special. They do this because people are important and special. And that is the biggest distinction in luxury business. And it is the finest line that most people completely miss. If I do what I'm doing in order for you to feel special, then I attract a person with less power that's trying to be close to me because they want to try to be powerful. When I give you this because you're powerful, I attract an equal match to me. And that's when it's a party because it's because you're special, not because I'm trying to make you feel that way, because without me, you don't feel it. And that's what we've been taught to do. When you're nice, you treat people that are not doing so well nicely. When you're rich, you help the people that don't have a lot of money. When you have a lot of power, you help the people with no power. In the buyer paradigm, when you finally understand that you're a hot, sexy badass with tons of money, you attract rich, hot, sexy badasses with tons of power. Money and value sees value and these people are coming in and it's the easiest thing selling, delivering. The days are fun. Everything is fun because it's an energetic match and you're not doing it to try to overcompensate. And you're not trying and you're not doing it to be seen or for them to be seen. They are seen. They're just as badass as you are. And I think a lot of us don't recognize how many other incredible people there are on the planet. And when I say people and their power, this is what I mean. You're not becoming great so you can help people feel powerful. You're becoming great and then powerful people are finding you. And then it's a party where there's an abundance of all things and anyone who doesn't get it, there's nothing wrong with them, they're just not there yet. They will find an energetic match elsewhere and that's not your concern. Those are hard, those. That's a hard moment. You've got to focus on your self importance and your love. I love the world and when I'm with you, I love the world less. So I need to distance myself. We're not the right match. I love myself, and when I'm around you, I love myself less. So I'm not going to stay around you. But there's a place for you where people love to be around you. This is not the place. I don't need to shrink myself so that you enjoy being around me. And I don't need to change myself so that I enjoy being around you. Let's actually just respect each other's levels of impact. Power, magnetism, money. And meet each other where we're at. So it can be a party. A lot of people say it's lonely at the top. But what I found is for the people who it's lonely at the top, it was also lonely at the bottom. It's the people who've always found a way to feel alone and don't matter and everybody else is their enemy at the bottom, in the middle, at the top, doesn't matter. It was lonely everywhere because for me, it was a party at the bottom. When I first got started with all my stuff, I made it a party. And it was a party on the mountain on the way up. And it's a party wherever I am now. And it'll be a party at the top because I'm going with people who love to party. I'm going with people who love people who love life, who are happy, who are grateful, who are willing to do what it takes, who care about the world, their families, themselves. Like, how can it not be a party? How could I be alone when we're going there together? With the same values, you don't need to go against everything. Sometimes there's a current that you tap into, and the whole frequency just. Is just perfect. And you don't need that many buyers when you're operating at that frequency. There will be a day you could have $100,000 packages, 10 clients. You're making a million dollars a year. This is what needs to happen, though. You've got to be able to hold money, power, and sex and magnetism all at the same time without feeling like you're too much or too little. Because no matter how much you have of it, that's the. It's the frequency you need to hold more than anything else. So if you feel well, it's easy for you to say that, Melanie, because you already have money and you already have power and you already have all the. You know, the magnetism, all the things. So all you need to do is hold It. I don't have any of those things. That's not true. You have enough power to trust in yourself, to get yourself here. You had enough money to get yourself in this room. And you have enough beauty to last you a lifetime. Sex appeal and all the things to last you a lifetime. So you've got to start getting real good at seeing what you have and acknowledging that it's a lot because there's a lot of people that are exactly where you are in as far as power goes or make as much money. And so if they were spending what that you spent here, if they were spending it on you, but it's like for you, you might not experience. And this is the thing, like sex is not just like sex, it's also magnetism. Like, I'm so drawn to you. When I'm around you, I feel lit up by life. I feel like life force energy coming through me. You know what I mean? And so that's why sometimes I think people misunderstand sex. It's not always going to show up like, you know, you're on all fours, panting on social media to try to get clients. But for some people, that's what it is. And it works. Like, these are the most triggering things on the Internet. You see the people who are in lingerie and you're like, why do you need to dress like that? Why do you need to be all sexy and stuff? Why do you need to be that? Well, they don't need to. It's just that's. That's where they're at with that hard. And then power. You don't need to. Why did. Why don't you ever smile on your pictures? Why are all the pictures the power pose? Why do you need to write these really, like, bold statements? Can't you just. Well, they could, but they won't because that's not what they're aiming for right now. Why are you spending on all the bags? Why the luxury travel? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing that? Because they are. That's it. That's all. If you would do something different with your money, then go make money and do something different with it. But the idea here is that every level of our journey, we're refining these frequencies. It's your job to compound what you have. And the mistake is to think, I don't have it and I have to go get it. You have it, you're just discrediting it. And there is no compounding it when you discredit it. You've got to feel the Heat of the money you already have. You've got to feel the heat of the power you already have. You've got to feel the heat of the sex appeal and the magnetism you already have. You have to feel that heat. You've got to compound it. There's nothing to go get. You've got to stay in the vibe and feel it and think about it and talk about it. You've got to be in it. It's got to raise inside of you. You got to own it. You can't put it down, walk away from it, run away from it, because it feels like too much. You got to learn to hold it. You got to hold your capacity for more and more heat. And it does. It gets hot in here. It gets hot in here. When you're holding a lot of sex, money and power. It gets hot in here. Feels like, what the. The heck is this life? Sometimes you want a cold shower. You're like, I can't do this. I need a breather. What is this? Slowly. Compound everything you've got. Learn to breathe. Learn to regulate your nervous system. If you ever sat in a sauna, you've got to learn to breathe and calm down. You've got to learn to regulate your body with temperature. And that's what happens when you're increasing your ability to hold these frequencies. You've got to be able to calibrate your. Your breath can't panic. It gets hot. Breathe. And that's exactly the vibe. Exciting and slightly terrifying. That's literally the junction of magic and people who cannot hold fear. They cap at exciting. And you know what the problem with exciting is? You're only excited before something happens or in a very small window when it just has happened and it shocked you. But you're not excited for something you've already done five times. You're not even excited for something you've actually done after it's landed. You're grounded with it. So if the only frequency you understand is the frequency of excitement and you're not able to hold the frequency of fear, you're not going to be able to hit your goals because you're only going to be able to be in your highest energy before you create what you want. As soon as you have it, you'll discredit it because it's not exciting, it's terrifying. Oh, gosh, how am I going to do this again? Oh, gosh, what are people going to think? Oh, gosh, what am I going to do with this now? How am I going to top this? How Do I do that? How did it. Fear and excitement both. Duality, both, both, both creates heat. It's the, the two magnets, it's the rock and the other rock that go. And the flame comes up. You need to have both. You need to be able to hold both. So I want you to use today to really compound this energy inside of you. Pay attention to where you want to put it down. Who are the people who, who you fear won't get it the most? Your siblings, your parents, your friends, your community, your town? Is it your peers? Is it people who you studied in the same class as or your in laws? Like who's the person you feel like you need to pull the whole energy out of the wall for them to take you seriously? Because they just, they'll think you're this and they'll think you're that. Notice where that comes from. See if you can make peace with that. Raise the love if it feels like the self importance is going to trigger people and raise the self importance if it feels like the love will be taken advantage of. And if you're constantly raising instead of lowering, all you can do is go forward. All you can do is be better instead of going up and saying, oh, bring the love down. I'm being taken advantage of. And then bring the self importance down because people are judging me. And then bring the love down because people are taking advantage of me. And then bring the. No, no, no, no. People are taking advantage of me. Raise the self love, I feel guilty. Then raise the love for the world, but people are taking advantage. Then raise the love, then raise the love, then raise the bar, then raise the thing, raise the frequencies to calibrate, don't shrink anymore. And see what happens with that. Because your best buyer is the person who has enough self importance to spend a lot of money on themselves, all the while caring enough about you that they're going to treat you with respect. And the only way that happens is if you own those frequencies inside of you as well. Willing to spend on yourself because you're the one willing to love and value the people who supply you with whatever it is that you're buying because value sees value, then we're a match. Then it's a party. So take the time with this, see what comes up for you. Thank you so much for this module. I'm so glad we landed here. Like, this is the, this is where the magic really starts to percolate. And these are the conversations when I have these conversations with like people in the investment industries or luxury, like the jewels and fashion, they're always like, you get like, can you speak to our whole staff about this? Can you speak to every. Can we. Can we. Can we just talk to everybody about this? Like, like, we are raising the frequency of luxury. And for all of you, I know I have a lot of American and Canadian clients. Like, we are far behind the luxury markets. The rest of the world, like Canada and luxury right now are like, the US Is a little better, but still it's like, a little bit cheap. It's more about flashing money. It's not really status all that much. It's more being cool and trendy. And who do you know? There's something missing. There's a depth to luxury that's missing. I'm excited to bring this forward and to have that respect, like, classic, iconic feeling of love and power that comes with luxury here. Scandinavia has it. Italy, France. Like, there's places in the world that get it because they. They. They made it, they created it. And so we've got to create our flavor of it here. And it starts with us understanding our own selves and our own energies, because it is the luxury exists on the frequency of the person who creates it. And so if all these houses of fashion and luxury and magic are created in other countries, by the time we get them here, we're a representation. We represent the house, but we don't own the house. And so for us to house luxury, we need to bur. We need to birth it. And for that, we need people who get the frequency. And these conversations make it that we get the frequency. And that means creating more luxury buyers. That means the luxury scene starts to expand. That means more hotels that get the memo, more restaurants that get the memo, more car dealerships that get the memo. Or you start to get the experience you always dreamed of when you'd buy the car or stay in the beautiful thing. Because a lot of times what. What I see is people are getting wealthy and they're going, this is not what I thought it would feel like. I'm like, did you buy in Canada? Did you buy in Canada? Did you buy in the States? They're like, yes. I'm like, okay, so here is the problem. Here's what we need to do. And so these conversations make it that we can actually start to create the kind of industry that we crave one day at a time, one step at a time, one move at a time, one buyer at a time. We need to create a new paradigm. Thank you for your time, your energy, your presence. And I will see you in the next module.