The Mentor - Day 4

Sam, I am a business artist, and I have people become wildly successful at their own craft. We are revolutionizing entrepreneurship. Foreign beings of the mentor program. Today, we have an awesome conversation to have, and it's like the perfect one to have with the kind of day I'm having today, which is perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect. So I'm going to read you a post, a post that I wrote, one of my first ever posts in the Alpha Femme brand. And this has been a shaper for me of my entire mentorship career. And what I've realized about this post is that through every single iteration of who I've become, it has held me wise, very wise. I realized that in this journey of being a coach and a mentor, I became confident when things were good, and I became wise when things were hard. And I am who I am, not because of my confidence, but because my wisdom. It is cool to be confident. It is awesome, and it can take you so far. But it is the wisdom. It is the wisdom that's the anchor. It's like the confidence makes you tall, but the wisdom makes you deep, makes you anchored, makes you grounded. And so I've heard so many different opinions about this, and I think, honestly, they're all right. It's just maybe they're an incomplete picture, because I've heard people say things like, it doesn't need to be hard. You don't need to struggle. And I'm like, that's probably true. Except what about when you do, though? And then there's people who are like, it's hard. You got to get through the hard stuff. And the hard. You know, it's real hard. And the more hard it is, the more it's rewarding. I'm like, it's not true, though, because I've had some really epic, effortless moments in my career that felt like walking on sunshine, where I was like, how the heck did that happen? It was so effortless, I don't even know how I did it. So which one's true? Or is it that it's all true. So I'm going to read you this post, and we're going to start there. And it's always so perfect, because this post actually came up in my mentorship yesterday with a couple of my clients. It was like, the perfect thing. And so, of course, here's the post. It's called the prove it concept. So many people say they want success, and to a certain extent, they mean it. However, achieving our goals or receiving our manifestation is only the first step. We then need to show Up. The universe doesn't deliver our desires until we are aligned with the person we need to be to fulfill on our end of the bargain. Imagine if every person, regardless of their ability or integrity of commitment, received their every wish. Celebrity status, an ongoing flow of high paying clients. Your dream partner. Although many of us dream of these things, when the rubber meets the road, do we truly have what it takes to follow through? We know we will be easily capable of living with the joy and excitement, the financial abundance, the success, the pride and the popularity. But what about the flip side? Surfing on the success wave is easy. But what about all the responsibilities that come along with it? Will we truly be able to handle that? The only way to find it out is the universe will test you before it hands over all of the goods. You think you can handle such a level of success? You understand the challenges and trials that come along with a business that size. And you can take it. The stress, the pressure, the fear, the failures. Okay, prove it. Prove it now before the success comes. Prove that you can push through fear first. Then the success will come. Prove that you're capable of navigating the stress first, that you can handle the pressure first. That you can stay committed when it's hard first. Then your manifestations will materialize. If you're experiencing challenges in your life right now, this may be your call to prove it. This is my motto. It may come to me effortlessly or I may need to prove it. Either way, I'm in. This sentence has shaped my career. It may come to me effortlessly or I may need to prove it. Either way, I'm in. If it's easy, I love it. If it's hard, so be it. Either way, I'm in. This is the energy of the mentor. No matter what. Not as long as it's easy. Not as long as it's effortless. No matter what. As long as is just as long as no matter what is. No matter what. There's a frequency to people who are all in. And that frequency is limitless. So we've got to work on our courage and we've got to work on our strength. Because if it does happen to be a prove it moment, and that's what makes you turn around and walk away, and you walk away from a beautiful opportunity. Now, why? Why do we get stretched? Do we have to get stretched? This is what I think. This is my opinion on the matter. This is how I've led myself to this point, through the hard stuff. I don't just want success. I want success as fast as I can align with it. This changes things. Because if I just wanted success that it really didn't matter how long it took at all. I didn't. It didn't matter. Didn't bother me at all. It could take my whole life. I really don't mind. I could achieve my success in my 60s. It doesn't matter. 70s, 80s, I don't care. It doesn't matter. I have absolutely no desire for it to be now. I don't want to be rich in my youth. I don't care. It doesn't matter. If there's absolutely no attachment to time, then I can just align over time. I can trust that the wisdom is coming. There's no pressure now. Even though a big part of our work is detaching from timelines, there's still this. As soon as possible, please. I had a client that used to say to me, immediately, if not sooner. I used to find it so funny. She'd ask me a question and I'd be like, when do you need an answer for this? And she'd say, immediately, if not sooner. And I thought, that's pretty much exactly the way we talk about the universe in our mind. Like, I would like what I want immediately, if not sooner, please. That's the energy that we're in, but it's got to be. That's what we desire, but we're not attached to it, which is quite an art, even of itself. But the energy of desiring something as fast as it's possible to align with it means you've got a collapse time. And when you've got a collapsed time, that means you've got to hyper speed your growth. This also sometimes means you've got to hyper speed your learning curve. If you were to make a graph of the Alpha Femme brand and take it to any person who studies businesses, that person would probably go like this. Think you made a mistake with the inputting of your numbers? The numbers go like this. No business graph does. That does make sense. What is this? This is a joke. This isn't a business graph. I don't even know what to do with this. This is an accident. What is this? How do I calculate this? Makes no sense. So can you imagine that my learning curve in order to be with the business, also had to do this with the business? So there have been moments in my career where it felt like, you know, that moment when you're going up a roller coaster and you're kind of going this way, and all of a sudden you have a realization that what goes up must come down. And your entire body goes into a state of panic. And you would like to exit the roller coaster, please, if at all possible. Then it slows down just so that you have a moment of realization of the decision you've made. And it slows down even more. There's that impending doom moment where you're like, dangling this way. That's a lot of the moments that my. My career felt like, that there was moments of like. Like, this is too fast. I don't know what I'm. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Wait, stop. How. Wait, don't stop. I don't want to stop. I can't. I can't.

I was.

You're going to have moments like this in your career. If you want hypergrowth at hyperspeed. The universe going to be like, are you sure? Sure you want your. Let me just get this really straight. Like, you want to make a million dollars. So, okay, let me just get this straight. This is the universe speaking to you. I just want to confirm your order before I send it because I just want you to understand what you're ordering right now. So what you desire in this moment. You've never done anything like this before in your life. You've never owned a business before? No. Okay, good. Got you so far. So you want to create a business. Yep. And you'd like it to become a million dollar brand. How fast? Ex immediately, if not sooner. Would you like to see the graph of what it will take your human heart in order to accomplish this? Or would you rather me just not show you? Because if I show you, you're probably going to change your mind. And we're like, no, I trust I've been taught to do that. You were like, you crazy. Okay, actually, wait. This is really. I'm just going to just test something with you to make sure that you have the heart to do this, the strength to do this, the emotional intelligence to do this. I don't think you understand what you're ordering here. This is a tall order. Let me just give you a couple of little things that could resemble what you might feel like in this curve. Here's a client that defaults on payments, a bully on the Internet, and a temporary shutting down of your Facebook account, just all at the same time, just to see how you do, how you deal. And you go, why is this happening to me? I don't think I can handle it.

Universe is like, who?

I didn't give you million dollar business because on top of you crashing and burning. All the people who invested in you would be going, where's my mentor? Where did you go? Like, so what happens? We're tested first. You want what? Okay, so you want this, like, amazing partner. Like the greatest partner on earth. Like, there's a few of these. We have a few. I have a few in my bank of amazing partners, but I'm very careful with who I give them to because they're amazing. So you want one. Okay. And. And who are you going to be as an energetic match to that? You're going to be kind, respectful. Are you sure? Because I've got. I've got a lot of evidence here that shows that you are actually a stone cold evidence shows that that's not the way you are in relationships. Yes, I know, but I've changed. It changed. Okay, so now you want this perfect partner, the perfect one, and you are ready to be the perfect match for this perfect person. If. If I send you this person and you're not nice, you're going to break one of the only models we have this. Let me just. Just gonna try something. Let me just send you your ex back just. Just to see how honestly serious you are. But okay, you're making out on the couch. Well, aren't I glad I didn't send you model number 65, because this is one of the only models we have of this type and you can actually break him or her very easily or them very easily. And I'm very glad I didn't send them over. You're welcome. Model number 65 just saved your heart. So we are ordering things all the time, except we don't have any idea of who we need to be in order for it to match. We have absolutely no idea of who we need to be in order for it to match. We're just asking for stuff. And so bottom line is being a mentor is a game of asking for stuff and finding out whether you're an energetic match or not and then having to either prove it or receive it effortlessly and not feeling guilty for the things we receive effortlessly and not feeling ashamed about the things that take time and energy and that we don't get on the first try. Because honestly, this is like the human condition is being ashamed of the things you don't have and guilty of the things you do have and like, trying to be free in that paradox. How are we ever going to be free if we feel guilty of the things we have and ashamed of the things we don't? Pretty much stuck. So being a mentor is this juggle, I desire this next level. I actually feel like you're an energetic match for that. Here it is. Effortlessly. What? And then people are like, how did you do that? And you're like, I don't know. I believed, I trusted. I think it may have been a buildup of months and years. Actually. I think I may need to take you back to far. I think I've got a lot to teach you actually, because it didn't just happen like this. And then there's other times where it's going to be like the hardest thing ever and then you're going to do it and you're going to feel like Rocky getting punched and it's going to feel like, why is this so hard? Because you needed to prove it in order to be an energetic match. There are times it's effortless, it's like, there it is, it's yours, you're already a match. And there's other times where it's like, I got a feeling that if I give you this, you're going to drop it. And you dropping it is so much worse than you having to work for it until you're ready. Because once you've dropped it, your confidence falls, whereas working for it actually creates confidence. So we have got to get better as mentors with ups and downs. In the invested masterclass. I call this up and down on the way up. It's like you look at a graph of anything in life that went up and it went up like this. It's up and down on the way up. This is how life goes up and down on the way up. And so you may be having this moment in your career where you just had like a 6 figure month or a 10k month and then your mind says, I've seen other people succeed on the Internet. I know how this goes. You have a six figure month, then you have a multiple six figure month, then you have a million dollar month, then you're super rich. This is what I'm going to do and it's going to be amazing. But your trajectory is a little different because the universe said, let me send you a six figure month and see how you deal with that. Actually, let me send you a six figure month and then let me send you like a $40,000 month and let's see if you still believe in all of your trainings, all of your teachings. Or is it the minute the circumstances change for you, you freak out and then you try to lead people for them to believe in something when they don't have the same circumstances as you, they can't believe because they don't have it. And when you don't have it, you don't believe either. You need to get back to work. So when we decide I'm going to be a mentor, the decision we're really making is I'm in. Whether it's effortless, whether it's a prove it moment, whether I'm celebrating, whether I'm recuperating, whether I'm working for something, aiming for something, whether I'm nailing it, whether I'm disappointed, all of it is mentorship. Good days, hard days, all of it is mentorship. And there's so many different levels of things that are going to throw you off your game. This is the other thing that's just so wild. And there's days where something that's so simple can throw you off as much as something that's complicated. When there comes a place, there comes a time in your business where you're. You're going to be annoyed with yourself at the simple things that annoy you. But it's going to be like, like, I'll give you an example of something that annoyed me today that you're going to be like, you're annoying. But here's the thing. It's life. So I have three properties right now. Three. And the reason I have three is because the first one we ever bought was the island, Alpha Island. And Alpha island is an island with a house on it in the middle of a river. And it's absolutely beautiful. And we bought a log home. And the log home is the log home that we do our Christmases at. And the reason why we bought it is because, honestly, it was costing us more to rent at three days, three months a year, around the holidays and stuff like that than to buy it. So we bought it. Now, the Internet here is not the best. I have to tether on Kevin's phone, but the guy that was supposed to do the lawn yesterday at the island house didn't go and decided to come today. Which means I would be on the call with you and you'd be hearing, we can't have that. And at the other house, well, we're doing all the renovations and they're okay with taking one hour break, but today I would need two because I've got back to back this and then the channel. And so we either had the soothing sound of grass being cut in the background, the soothing sound of rocks being destroyed in the background, or choppy Internet. Those were my three choices today. And Everything was supposed to be perfect today because it was supposed to be that. I wake up, I have my gym at 6:30 in the morning, I have time to get ready and then we go to the island and I have my calls, Everything's perfect. But no, we get intercepted with the news of like, guess what? The island is no longer a viable option. So that's annoying. That's annoying because now I've got a course correct, change directions, take all the things to the other thing. That's annoying. And I've got two back to back calls. And then I also have a meeting this afternoon for an important business thing and then I have an event tonight. So there's so many things today, like there's no space for this. But I have clients right now that are experiencing very similar things. They've got so many kids, a relationship, their business, their families, everybody wants to hang out with them. They're being invited to events and weddings and this and that. And they're like, how am I supposed to do all this? Then the doorbell rings and it's the person that's delivering something that's late, that was supposed to deliver it yesterday, that's just showing up. And the people that are doing the outside lawn are late and now they're showing up in the middle of a call. And you know, it's, why is this happening? I've got to run my business. I need this quietness. Why is this so complicated now? In the beginning there's like, no, there's almost no chance of that happening. And you might think to yourself, once I become successful, I will have nothing else to worry about. Everything will fall into place beautifully because I'll be successful, it'll be easy. But no, there's construction. You could be Nikki's like dealing with construction next door. There's not even yours. There's nothing you can do about it. It's next door. There's construction. There's going to be so many things you're going to have to lead yourself through and be like, okay, I've got five minutes to make a decision. And it's not the ideal decision, but I can do this. So what am I doing? How am I doing it? How am I showing up for this? Your energy, your attitude. Because you're going to have clients that are going to be frustrated for things that are so you're not going to get it. You're going to be like, oh, we did order a soundproof room. We did our order a soundproof room with a microphone. And it didn't show up properly. There's bits of it missing. And so I have an incomplete soundproof room. But I've been waiting for the missing pieces for a while. We. This is the thing. This is where the serenity prayer comes in handy, where it's like the wisdom to know the difference between the things that you can change and the things that you can't. Very important. Because there's things in life you're like, got to do this. We do it. Got to do this. We do that. Got to do this. We do it. Okay, perfect. And then there's days, we're like, got to do this. Oh, we can't. Okay, let's do that instead. Doesn't work. Okay, let's try this. Nope. How about that? Also no. Well, there's a great four letter word that goes there. So you're going to have moments in your life where there's just nothing except just surrender and wisdom. Now what? You're going to have clients that are going to go through things that they're so infuriated by, and you're going to, you're going to see it and you'll be like, this is nothing. It's not nothing to them. It'll get them in a state. It'll get them in a state when their partners don't do something properly, don't celebrate a holiday properly, something that they had hoped they'd feel special for. When their partners show up late for dinner or ruin it or are in bad mood on an important day. To them, like, there's so many things you're gonna have to hold because there comes a time where the little things are the bigger problems. Because the big things that you were scared of or the big things that you didn't have, like the wealth or the impact or the influence or the brand or the systems or the courses, like all the things you were working on, well, they're all done. That's not the problem. The problem is your energy. The problem is your mindset. The problem is how you're feeling today. The problem is you're infuriated that you give world class service to everybody and you can't receive the same service in return. And it drives you bananas. And so you're gonna mentor through things that aren't problems, they're just annoyances. And for that you've got to be willing to really anchor yourself. When you have annoyances and understand this is what annoyance feels like. Annoyance can kick you out of alignment even more than sadness can. Because annoyance is all about should. And should is the Most disempowering word. I believe if you're sad about something and you lead in your sadness, you can be so powerful. But if you're annoyed, you're actually more disempowered than when you're sad. And it's the easiest thing. Like, ah, it shouldn't have happened this way. It shouldn't go like that. Why can't people just. Why shouldn't people. People should just. They should. She should. They should. I should. We should. They should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should. And you have your whole day just go by with everybody who messed up. It's like the most disempower. And when you get to a certain level of success, there's nothing huge and awful happening. There's just annoyances. So you're going to learn to manage your mind. The prove it moments are the big things and the little things. It's also like, are you going to let joy ruin your sadness? And if you are going to do that, can sadness ruin your joy? If you're going to do that, like, are, are your emotions interchangeable? Are you able to say, oh, I'm, I'm really happy right now, and then, okay, I'm sad for a moment, but I'm happy again? Or is it like, the minute you're sad, you're sad for the whole day. Can you bounce back? This is like your inner game. And so why mentoring is so much sharper than coaching is that you can, you can get away with showing up for an hour and teaching something that you know by heart. On a day that you're frustrated, you can drop it, show up for one hour, call and leave. But mentorship is ongoing. Your clients have questions, maybe every day. So if you can't lead yourself through your feelings, you're going to feel completely trapped in your mentorship business. That if you learn to lead yourself through your feelings, you will become one of the most empowered human beings on the planet. Your clients will make you a better person, a stronger woman, a stronger leader. They'll keep you in alignment. It'll help you move through things faster. It'll be like, I have some, I have a client that needs me right now. Like, what am I doing? Like, this is so. This is not me. This is not me. It's going to keep you to a higher standard. But if you're a coach, it's just like, you're having this terrible day. You put your coach hat on for an hour and you continue having a bad day. But as a mentor, it's Like, I had to lead myself through this. I have to lead myself through this. Like, there's no question. Or else what am I going to do when I get on the phone with a client who's frustrated and I'm going to try to coach them through what the thing I'm stuck in? There's no way for me, for you, for us. Every single thing you walk through, every single thing you lead yourself through, even the tiny things. Even, like, I had a client a couple of weeks ago, bless her heart, and I could feel her pain. She had so many things to do. Her day was like. Like clockwork. Taking care of her kids, taking care of business, taking care of all the things. She managed to find the space and time to stop for Starbucks. And the debit machine wasn't working. She didn't have cash on her. And she waited in line. You know what it's like to wait in line at a Starbucks right now? It's awful. Everyone's understaffed. It doesn't make sense. Then she waited in line this whole time. She already didn't have much time. And then they didn't have it, and she's a regular there, and they didn't even offer to give her the copy. They, like, didn't let her have it, which I thought was preposterous. And it's like, you have the money, your debit machine isn't working. What the heck? That's so infuriating when you think about it. When you're first building your business and you don't have a client in your roster, feels way worse than can't have your morning coffee. When you have a business that's rolling and you take care of everybody in your life and you're holding everything together and you can't get your coffee. So infuriating. And a lot of people are very poor at holding wealth and respect. They grow wealthy and they just become a savage about everything that doesn't work. They get mad at the waiter. What is this service? What is this? If you worked for me, I'd fire you. They speak down to all the people that don't give them the experience they believe they deserve. Can't do that, not in this industry. This is the one industry where we have standards. The more successful we are, the more responsibility we have to be able to treat people with respect. It's a tall order. And there's going to be moments where we're like, I'm just going to speak to my mentor real quick before I answer you. Just go back in five Minutes help. Like there's going to be moments where it feels so refreshing to just be like, okay, this is not my best self. Like, I just need to have a reframe conversation real quick. And so why mentorship is so powerful is you don't necessarily wait for coaching calls. And this has been one of the hugest changes since I really understood mentorship is that it is not about the coaching calls. So you can have a mentor and still utilize coaching and you can have a mentorship relationship where there is very little coaching and if there is, it comes in little spurts. So what a lot of my clients like to do at this mentorship level is they just plug in whenever they want something and it's never, it's very rarely an emergency. But it's also very rare that I'm not just available to answer. When I used to have back to back to back to back to back to back calls with my clients and there was a time when I was a coach at the peak of my stuff, I had 31 private clients and I gave hour long phone calls, 31 hours of one on one coaching on top of my master and then my mastermind and then my courses and then any marketing and any other things. It was way too much. And so when I look at my life now and I look at this balance of mentorship and coaching, sometimes clients are like, I would really love a coaching call and then we jump on a coaching call and it's amazing. And other times when it's really that mentorship energy. The mentorship, yeah, they have a weekly call available if they want it. And sometimes it's just a short one just to catch up and talk. Sometimes they just will talk to me through voxer all week instead. So I've noticed the clients that prefer coaching because I still have clients that prefer the coaching energy. We have a scheduled call every week. The clients that like a hybrid, which means they're more in the mentor energy and time to time they have this thing where they're like, I'd love to have a conversation with Melanie about this today. Then we book calls when they feel like they want one and the rest happens on voxer. And then I also have clients that are like pure mentorship energy. They don't need a full hour call to talk about stuff, but they might message me five, six times during the day. I'm just thinking of something. What's your thoughts on this? This conversation just, you know, this just landed in my inbox and I'm feeling all the ways about it can you help me reframe this? It's more like I want to raise my standard around this important thing. I want to be the greatest I can possibly be at this response. I want to navigate this thing with as much power and class as I can. And so it's a different reason to be connected to a coach. One of the things is how I want to have a conversation about how can we talk about my branding, we talk about my marketing, we talk about my strategies. This is all coaching. Of course we can talk about that. Mentorship, however, is like, in your experience, if you've ever been through this, what, what have you done? What have you found works here? Why have you done this? Why do you do things like that? What do you find is better? Why did you change from this to that? These are more so mark or mentorship questions. How would you respond if someone said this to you? How does your team handle it when you get a message like this? And so it is such a different energy, the mentorship energy. And it feels like one of those things that is like a long term walk. It is like walking into the sunset. That is the energy. And so obviously there is coaching that is included inside of my mentorship because I started as a coach, I elevated into mentorship and I still love coaching so much and I love mentorship. So there is a beautiful hybrid for most of my clients and in my masterminds, it is mentorship. And then we have one call a week, a group call where there is some coaching and everybody gets a call every quarter with me for private coaching. So I like the hybrid model. But what I love about mentorship is it promotes individuality. What it does is it instead of it being this one call a week for you to learn, it's this constant presence for you to calibrate. And so I just want to bring forward this concept of calibrating because it's one that I think is often misused. And I've read ways people express this calibrating thing and I'm like, okay, okay. The first time I ever got the word calibrate come to me was during my first channeling. The first time I ever channeled the Exponential wealth program. And the word came to me. I googled it. There was nothing about it then. There was nothing about it. And so I looked for synonyms of it. And what I found was like. Like a tunement, like an instrument. Music instrument. And so what I got from this download was that human beings are like a tuning fork in an instrument. You thing and then you can find the note. And so I started really playing with this energy for me. And when I started talking about calibration. And the thing is there's people that download words as well. Like you hear something or you, you click on something and then something becomes yours and you make it yours. And so there's different definitions out there. I think that some people have definitions that are different from mine. And I also think some people just heard the word calibrate from different definitions that are now misusing them. I want to just tell you what calibration means to me. So let's say for example, that I in my life have only ever known people to have $100,000 a year. And that's success. Like this person makes $100,000 a year. Oh my gosh. And the husband works as well and he also has a hundred thousand dollar a year job. Together they make two hundred thousand dollars a year. I would buy a boat. That's my experience of money up until a certain point in my life. So if this is my experience of money, my belief about money is that $100,000 a year is a lot. And if you can find a partner that can also make $100,000 a year, you're making $200,000 a year, you can buy a boat. This is my mentality around money. And so what's happening is I am calibrating to the richest people I know who have $200,000 a year in a boat. I don't even recognize that that's what my brain is doing. But these are the richest people I know, so they must be very rich. And if they have a boat, that's what you do. You get $200,000 and you buy a boat. So many people are walking around the world calibrating to the richest person they know as well as wealth. What's wealth? A million dollars a year. If you live in a rich Neighborhood, what's wealthy? $100,000 a year. Family, household in certain parts of the world is like, that's rich. It's the richest person I know. And then you can own your house or you can afford to get married, or you have your car is paid off. Like rich means different things to so many different people. And so calibrating is like you bring out something else, you bring a whole other reality. And it is so disconnected from me and it makes no sense that I can't feel it. It doesn't matter that I know you and that you've done that. I still won't calibrate to it. I won't attune, I won't sync up because there's no connection. But if you're in my life and you're very close to me, and I feel like I know you and I love you and I trust you, and you do something that I never thought could happen, and you do it and you talk about it and you explain it, and I spend time with you, all of a sudden my mind will attune to a new frequency of what wealth means. And I'll think, whoa, $200,000 a year, and then you get a boat is good, But a million dollars a year, you don't have a boat, but you charter a yacht once a year and you travel the world and you do this and you have that and you do this. Wait a minute. I think I like that. How do I do that? How do I become that? All of a sudden? Something's starting to happen in the calibration. Now what if I'm surrounded by 2 people, 3 people, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 people who all are making millions of dollars, who believe in different things, who celebrate different levels of money, and I feel a part of it. Whoa. Something's happening inside, Something's happening in my mind, something's happening in my heart. Now what if I'm surrounded by all those people but I don't like them? Nothing happens. This is why, even though we've been surrounded by wealth for a very long time, we haven't calibrated because the people that are wealthy have been not the greatest people for a lot of us. And it's like, I don't want to calibrate to wealth because I don't want to calibrate to that. The key to calibrating is it's the note you want to be, you want to be in tune with because of the success and the person. I want this because I love that this person is kind and good and this and that and also has the thing that I want. And so what's important is that we surround ourselves by people, that there's nothing that makes us go, yeah, but we find our people that we want to calibrate. And it's not like I calibrate to you, it's I calibrate to the understanding of your frequency. I calibrate to the attunement you have to this result. I believe in what you believe in, about what you believe in. Not I calibrate to you. So there's a difference between saying, I want you to come and be in this program so you can calibrate to me. You don't calibrate to me. You come into this mentorship so that you can calibrate to the belief systems, so that you can calibrate to the lessons, so that you can calibrate to the vibe, the download, the key, the code, so that you can calibrate to the thing I've calibrated to, because I'm evidence that it's available. So when we say things like, you calibrate to me, we actually block people from going wherever they need to go. Because if you calibrate to the belief I have, then the sky isn't even the limit for you. Who else's belief you want to calibrate to? If you calibrate to me, you also calibrate to my limitations. So what I want from my clients is not that they calibrate to me is that they calibrate to my knowledge, my knowing and my wisdom, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, with nothing capping them whatsoever. So the next thing there is to calibrate, they can achieve and connect with and go to the next level. There is so much for us to sync up with, and it just makes it easier when someone you genuinely love and care about is syncing up to it as well. This is a really great. The calibration key, the proximity to power is a great one for those of you who are in the AFE to listen to about this proximity to power, actual human calibration, how does it work? And so if I have wisdom around a certain feeling like how to. How to move through annoyance, and I get it and I, and I understand it and I transcend it, and I've got stories about it and energetic evidence that I can move through it. And you talk to me about your annoyance, I can help you calibrate out of the annoyance through my own belief systems, my own wisdom, my own evidence, far more than someone who still gets so stuck in that that they can't move, they're going to have a harder time helping you move out of that. And so this is often why, when you see as a mentor that a lot of your clients are showing up with kinds of problems, you might want to look and say, hmm, if they're all coming up against this limitation, where do I need to calibrate? Because wherever I rise in my beliefs, the more involved I am in my own growth, the easier it is for me to help other clients calibrate. So I've found that for me, anytime a client or a few come with similar things, I'M like, huh? This is probably an opportunity for me to rise into next levels. And so mentorship is for me, for you, for us. As I rise, you rise. We rise together. We rise for me, for you, for us. That frequency, that triple win, keeps us squeaky clean across the board. And the fact is, I cannot hold you to a standard that I'm not holding myself to in mentorship. It doesn't hold. So the people we do life with, the people we walk with, are the people who are walking in alignment in the area that they are set free from. So today, for your own mentorship lesson, you can have a look at what kinds of, if you look at your coaching business or what tends to happen a lot in your world, like, what are the lessons people are most needing to learn and where could you raise the bar in the learning of that lesson? And sometimes it shows up in different contexts. So it could be something like your clients are breaking their words around their word around financial agreements, or they're paying late or something like that. And you're like, I don't understand. I pay my mentorship up front on time. But then you might recognize that you pay your phone bill late every month or last minute, or you forget you have bills and you're not very organized with that, or you're always running after your tax bill at the end of the year, or you don't sit and do your accounting properly. You're like, aha, their organization, my organization. Where can I raise the bar? So you would just look at where can I lead myself to the next level where I'm going to be able to create a greater calibration portal. So the calibration portal is basically you're accessing the calibration field. Like them being connected to you creates this energetic portal where they get to access the frequency easier. And if you are connected to what you're doing and you're in the zone, it's amazing. If you're beside the zone and you're feeling guilt and you know that you're not doing it either. It's just advice. And if advice worked, the coaching industry and the mentoring industry would not be a $20 billion a year industry. OK, so we have one person that is going to come up today. This is Jacqueline. She is in my unity mastermind. So I, I'm going to bring her up here. She has a question for, for the mentorship, and then we're going to be complete for today. So, Jacqueline, come on up.

Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Hi. Oh, my gosh. I feel like what you started with at this call. There's like so much intertwining here and what, and what I would like want to bring forward. So I love it and this program has just been the best. So basically yesterday what came up for me when I was listening to the mentor yesterday was you were talking about controlling the floodgate and I was like, wait a second, I think I'm doing this here.

And.

Yeah, so I'm like guidance on untangling here. Since I put that question in unity, I dug deeper a bit myself. So I have a feeling that I feel like where it's coming from, but I feel like, yeah, like I've opened the floodgates, you know, like open the floodgates and through a conversation you and I had and like some major like, energetic, like frequency shifting. The beginning of May was like mind blowing. Phenomenal. Like my personal brand had like over six figures in five days. My. My brand with my business partner, like our first multiple six figure month, like our biggest thing, like halfway through the month, like, it's all like working. Floodgates are open and then I feel like I've energetically like, okay, yeah, like, here we go, here we go. Like, we're good. This is, you know, and the desire of the. A couple things that you said today of like, okay, like, trust. I can like trust in like all that's coming and all that's like, still meant to unfold. But then there's also the like. And I take it like immediately, if not sooner, please still. But where I truly think, when I like dove into this a bit yesterday, because I said to you in the unity chat, I was like, I don't really know where this is like coming from, but I just feel like I'm energetically closing the gates a bit. And I think it comes back to this like, thing that I keep going back to about the like, fear of not being seen. And it's. There's a new layer of it because I feel like, like I'm being seen, you know, I'm being seen. And I think the fear for me is, is like not feeling seen the way that I see people, the way I want people to see me. So like my greatest desire when you ask for the why is to see people at the depth of their soul, to see the love that they hold, to see their sacred wisdom to guide them there. And I have this energy tied up in people can see me for my success, but do they see me for like the love that I carry? Do they see me for like the sacred wisdom I hold do they see me for, like, the truth of who I am at the core? And I feel like my clients see me that way, and we, like, meet each other in our power. I feel like you see me that way, the women in Unity see me that way. But I'm like, I have this story that I tell myself. Like, unless people know me, they can't feel that from me. And I know it's not true, but my mind fuckery keeps coming in.

So there's two things. The first thing is we're going to take the trajectory that you open the door. And the other thing is I got an intuition, so we're going to go there after perfect. So I understand this wholeheartedly because I have often been chosen for the wrong reasons. And this is one of those things. If you have a choice, a chance to watch Proximity to Power again, just, like, the real truth of it being, like, if you don't actually care about the mentor you're hiring, it's not going to work. The calibration doesn't work the same. And so if you're just running after people for who's the most successful, that shallowness, it gets mirrored in your relationship with your coach as well and with your mentor if you go for deep reasons. This person speaks to my soul. This person has a story that I relate to. This person is beautiful. When I'm around this person, I feel like more as opposed to, you're rich, give me everything you got. And I have felt that way. And it really is not a fun feeling. Like, I don't care about you at all. I'm paying you for a service, and you just provide me with the results, please. And this line of work, that doesn't go very well, and it's. It's odd because in my. In my opinion, there are places where that has its place, where you're. It's like cut and dry. Like, this is how much it costs. This is what you do. This is what it is. But when it comes to doing life with people and holding them through, like, the most vulnerable times in their lives, like, there's so much emotion involved. And is what we said in one of the calls here, you cannot pay someone to care. You can't pay someone to care about you. And so in this industry, you've got someone that cares because it's who they are and you don't care. There's an energetic mismatch. You're going to hurt your mentor, you're going to hurt the coach. They're usually very sensitive People, they're usually very intuitive people. Sometimes they miss the mark with letting someone in. Bad judge of character. It happens. But ultimately, the greatest proteges are the ones that profoundly care about their mentors, that actually respect, love, honor their mentors. And so there's a couple of things here. Your fear is a valid fear because it doesn't. It does not change the fact that people still do this. And when you are successful, you basically get put on their radar as the richest one they know. And then they want to calibrate to you. They don't understand that it's through the care for you and the respect of you and the honor of you and the understanding that they're the same as you, that the calibration occurs. And all that happens in love and care, not in putting you on a pedestal. But this is also where your work gets to expand and where you actually start to lead the conversation around this of why you want to be chosen instead of closing the floodgates, having more of a conversation that explains who you let into the gates of your business. Like, what feels like an energetic match for me, you know, if you're, if you're still just following me because of the success, hang out a little longer. And if you can't love me for more than that, choose another mentor when you can love me for more than what I've done. We'll talk about doing more together, but bring it as a part of your coaching instead of closing your own floodgates. Make it an active part of your brand. Not just how you hire a mentor, but why I feel this.

And I, And I actually did a live about this on Friday. Some of that I was like. Because there's like an energetic frequency we feel here. Because, like, even when I reached out to you about unity is like, I want to celebrate with you. Like, there's that energy. And I'm like, that's the. Like to walk with someone, to walk with someone who can just feel like so many times I'll just be like, I think I'm going to, like, message you. And I'm like, oh, it, like, grounds me into my own truth. And that's what, like, that's. Those are the women that I want to walk with. And I think there's. That's the piece of something tangled there of, like, that fear.

So make it an active part of your brand, and you'll see the people who are going to choose you for the wrong reasons will feel caught in the act, like, oh, busted. I'll think about it. And the Ones that are like, no, that's exactly why I want to be with you and I love you. They're going to come right through and it'll be perfect. So make it an active part of your brand. That's the first thing. Okay, I love that, but I have an intuition. What would happen? Like, what's the problem that could potentially occur if you had let the floodgates stay open? What could have happened?

If I had let the floodgates stay.

Open and people had kept buying that month, this month, they just kept buying new people, more people, More people are buying this month. More, more, more, more. What could have happened?

Could be a lot of beautiful women coming together.

Yeah, but then what. What's the. What's the bad thing that could happen? If everyone's buying non stop, they're just coming in and they're buying and they're buying and they're buying and they're buying, what could happen?

I feel like then there would be nothing that feels hard. And I feel like this is where it connects into the beginning of that conversation. There's nothing that feels hard because I feel like the mentorship piece is really effortless for me to tune in and feel what my clients, like, need and see their soul. Like, that feels easy. I feel like manifesting things right now, my world feels really, like, easy, effortless. Trust feels effortless. So I'm like, if opening the floodgates is effortless, like, where's the heart?

Whoa. Okay. So that actually shocked me as an answer. And. And it's a good one. Like, if I don't even know who I am without the struggle for this, I only know how to build a business when I'm trying to bust through this. So I need it. So what would a new identity be? Is like, don't worry, child, there will be more problems. I have so many for you. So many. Don't even worry about it. Like, let this one go. I got another one around the corner. When you least expect that it's going to be fabulous, like, it's coming. But when you find one of those things where it's like, well, then I'd have no problems. Well, wouldn't that be nice? But no. Except the thing is, you change your problem. You've changed your life. Change your problems, change your life. Our minds are constantly trying to untangle the problems we have. The minute the problem changes, your mind just changed. Everything you think about everything, you stress about everything, you wonder about everything, everything changes. It's like you have a new mind and a lot of Times we're afraid to change our problems because we don't know what we'll think about or how or what or what's the next problem? Maybe this problem is better than the next problem. I don't may not want to know what the next problem is. So let's just stick with this one that I can handle. And so if I can hold on to this one, I can have, I can have over six figure months and still have this problem that feels super safe to me. But if I take away that problem and I could have million dollar months, what if the next problem is bigger? Maybe. But then you can dry your tears with million dollar months.

Oh my God. Oftentimes you make me like actually cry. I'm laughing so hard. Oh, I love you. Okay, I'm just to wipe these tears with the million dollar.

Yeah.

Okay. I'm down to let go of this problem. Bring on, bring on the next problem. And feels. Thank you.

It is my absolute pleasure. I want that problem.

All right.

And so, and I want to say like, this may not be yours. It could be. I'll offer it here. I think a lot of people do have this thing that shows up too. It's like, what if everybody buys this month and then nobody buys next month? This is often a thing. People will be like, but if everybody buys this month, then next month will be a smaller month. So I'm going to stop it so that I don't have this like huge month and then a dip. We don't get to control that. And so when we stop it, we just stop it. We don't get to postpone people's decisions. We just stop them. Like we have a stop flow button, but we don't have a control the mind of the person that was going to buy today so that they buy next month. We don't have that button, we just have the stop button. And so it's just knowing like when you have that feeling of like, oh no, if everyone buys this month, I'm going to have a low month next month. So stop. You've just stopped it. There is no moving it to next month. You've just stopped it. So trust yourself that next month there will be new people that are coming into your world. If that's ever a thing. See if you can just recognize remembering what Melanie said. Like, I'm not moving them to next month. I'm just stopping them from buying now. So don't want to do that. All right, well, on that note, my gorgeous, gorgeousnesses, I love you. You are fabulous. You're so fun. This program is so fun, and it goes by so fast. It's magical. An hour just flew by. And so you can also look for yourself and see, do you resonate with some of these things that happened with Jack here? Like, you closed the floodgates. Because this problem is easy to navigate. And when you've made enough this month that it's safe enough to make how much you've made and hold on to the problem, that you've got safety galore. Or is there a fear that you might get all the clients this month and have a smaller month, and so you slow it down when really you're stopping it? Oopies. So we're going to end this meeting. I'm going to start a new one because I've got a channel called My Incredible Ladies in the Channel. But thank you for being here, and I will see you again tomorrow. Bye, Sam. I am a business artist, and I help people become wildly successful at their own craft. We are revolutionizing entrepreneurship.