The One - Day 3

I am the one. Sam. Hello, gorgeous people of I Am the One master class. Whoa. I love seeing your face. This is fun. Hello, gorgeous people. Get some feedback for a second. All part of the fun. Bopping along to the music. I'll be your death. I love it. So good to see you. Yay, Bettina. Also bobbin. I love it. You guys having a good time so far? Have you been practicing being the One? How long can you hold doing that without getting distracted and realizing you haven't done it for a while and be like, oh, wait, I'm the one again? How long is the longest you've held it consciously? Not long. It's your mantra. Can you imagine if we said that before we walked into any room or before any important conversation or it brings you back? I am the one. I am the one. Practicing with my husband. Stopped an argument. Whoa. That's amazing. A whole night near. Man, that's amazing. Seeing the videos keeps it fresh. I agree. Not long. I was able to hold it while grocery shopping. Felt pretty awesome. Yeah. I have a hard time to embody it. Why? Our body doesn't know what it means. It's okay. That's why we keep going every day. More and more. More and more. Swapped out my morning meditation for I am the One. Love it. Keep telling myself this mantra, and it's so powerful. So good. You held it all day, Maria. That's amazing. I launched my book yesterday. I am the One. Congratulations. That is so good. All right, so first things first. Hello, beautiful people. Thank you for being here again for day three of our I Am the One masterclass. Today we're going to start getting into the flip side of being the One. And I'm sure for some of you, that's already starting to bubble up. So if you started having thoughts or feelings like, okay, but hang on a second. That's a lot of pressure. Okay, but hang on a second. Like, do I have to be the one for everybody all the time? Like, what if people expect stuff from me? What about people I don't want to be the one for? What about people who want to hang out with me and then realize how cool I am? And then everybody wants to be with me and everybody wants to be around me and everybody wants it. What about then? Because that feels like a lot. Who's had that kind of flip side fear? Like, it sounds great, but also sounds like a lot. And I don't know if I want to do all that. Right. So there's the flip side. And you probably heard me talk about this Quite a bit if you're someone who hangs out in my world. Quite a little bit if you're new to my world. When I talk about the flip side, every single coin we throw in the air has two sides. The coin of success has the flip side of failure, right? The coin of magnetism has the flip side of so many people want to be around you. Like, there is a flip side to everything. Every single thing that's good also has something to handle. And this is why this is one of my favorite movie quotes of all time in the Spider man movie, when the uncle says, with great power comes great responsibility. I think there is no better way to explain what happens when we become the One. It is a great power to be the One. It takes a lot of power to claim it. It takes a lot of power to own it. It takes a lot of power also to have boundaries around it. Now, women, especially when it comes to boundaries, are terrified of looking mean. And if this has ever happened to you in your life, you've said yes because you didn't want to look mean or you didn't want people to think you didn't like them or that you were not nice. And then you did something that you didn't want to do against yourself to try to look nice. If you've ever done that ever before, say me in the chat, just so we can see. Look at all these. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. This is like the story of my life. Like, this is what we do. We want to be loved. We want to be liked. We want to be the One. We become the One. We have no boundaries. Everybody takes advantage. We crash and burn energetically and then don't want to be the One anymore. Want to hide under a rock, move to Mexico, change our name, and live in a dark hole. See, this is how things happen. We go too far, too much, too much. And then we have no boundaries and we're afraid that people won't like us anymore. Please. So the boundaries conversation here is so important because in order to be the One, you are also the only one that can create the boundaries around being the One. I'm going to talk to you about a kind of duality that I've embodied in my business that's going to really, like, pull the curtain back and you'll be like, oh, my gosh, this is the secret sauce. This is the magic. This is how it works. So there are so many people in the world that want to be seen. Right now, the Internet is competing to be seen and to be Liked. This is the frequency of the Internet. The frequency of the Internet is look at me like me. There's a frequency, look at me like me, look at me like me, look at me like me is the frequency of the Internet. But then there's the frequency of who is that? And that frequency is very different than look at me like me, look at me like me, look at me like me. Who's that? It's so different. What's that? Who's that? How come I don't get the energy of look at me like me from this person? That's odd. I get look at me like me from everybody. Who's that? That is the one, the one who understands that we are operating on social media and we've forgotten what it's like to be a human on there. When has it ever worked in the history of your life to say to a person, look at me like me and it works in the history of your life. When has it ever worked to present yourself like that to another human being and another person's like, oh, this is a great opportunity. Thank you for presenting yourself in this way. I'm so excited to hang out with you. As opposed to like run away. It doesn't work in relationships, it doesn't work in friendships, it doesn't work in work opportunities, job opportunities. It doesn't work anywhere. Yet the Internet is abiding by this look at me like me kind of way. So the only way to stand out is to vibrate above or below that frequency. Below that frequency. Looks like anybody who says look at me like me bothers me and I'm going to go bully people on the Internet because I don't want to be one of those people and there's no way I can find the power to be above. So I'm just going to be a troll on the Internet. I'm going to go and everyone who's trying to be liked, I'm going to go for their self esteem, jugular veins. I can tell they need to be liked, they want to be loved, they're trying too hard. I'm going to bully everything there is to bully. I'm going to make fun of the way they look, the way they sound, the way they. I'm going to question them, I'm going to corner them. I'm going to go for the person who's so clearly trying to be seen and I'm going to nip it. The trolls do. So most of the bullying online is occurring for the people who are saying, look at me like Me. Look at me like me. The whole frequency of the Internet is going against human behavior. But it's addictive because in life when you say look at me like me, everybody runs away. But on the Internet when you do it, you might get 30 likes. And those 30 likes are like life giving. So people are going around in circles to get 30 likes on the Internet. This is the, this is the thing that's like the fine line with social media that we need to understand. There are the trend followers and there are the trendsetters and you are not both. So if you are following the trend consistently, you are following. Look at me like me on the Internet. To get 30 likes on the Internet and you're wondering why things aren't exploding for you is because you're on the frequency of me that is like the constant that makes the Internet roll is just flatline. Look at me like me. Everybody exchanging likes for like. If you could imagine that everyone had $10 in their bank account and we just kept paying each other $10 until the whole group ran out of money. That's what the Internet looks like right now. Everyone liking. I have 30 friends, I like their stuff. My 30 friends like me, we all have 30 likes. We feel celebrity for five minutes and then we have to post something else because our validation runs up. I'm the one. This was a good post. This was a bad post. Circumstantial power. I'm the one. I'm not the one. We're constantly looking for validation, looking for trends to follow, looking for someone to show us who we should be. So I made a decision that I would not use the Internet to be liked. I would use the Internet to be paid or to make an extraordinary difference in the world beyond me that my job in what? If I want to be loved and liked, that's my job to do with real people in my life, not the Internet. The Internet won't give me real love. It won't even give me real like. It'll just show me who has similar opinions to me. It doesn't mean anything. The reason we utilize the Internet is either beyond us to make an impact with our voice or to get paid. If not, go play in the snow, go get a suntan, have a pina colada, drink a glass of water, do some yoga, go get kissed, get off the Internet. It literally is. If we are not using the space for connection or growth in a healthy way, we become look at me like me. Look at me like me on the Internet. So what does it look like to Be the one. It looks like utilizing a platform where everyone is saying, look at me, like me and post to either change the world or get paid. Doesn't matter if people don't like you at all. A lot of the people who don't like you will end up paying you. This is one of the most shocking things I've ever realized in all my life. The people who like me the most follow everything I say. They comment and like on my statuses, and the people who I mildly annoy never comment on anything, yet they buy my higher end packages and tell me later. You trigger me like crazy. Now I'm buying from you. Some of the people who've paid me the most in full don't even follow me on Facebook, on Instagram. And I had a conversation with one of my private clients, Cassie, this morning about this. She had a woman yesterday reach out to me that's not following her on social media, has never liked or commented on any of her posts, just paid in full for her private coaching. Out of nowhere, where was this woman? She was being a creepy neighbor. So for those of you who don't know my creepy neighbor analogy, it's the people who watch you on social media and peer at you through the window. They never say hi, but they know everything about you. They know what color pajamas you use, you wear, they know what perfume you use, they know what you cook on a Thursday night because they look at you through the window, but they never say hi because that would be weird. And then they, you would know that they care about you, which be they would not be cool anymore. But then if you ever do something like, hey, I'm deleting all my friends. If you want to be my friend, comment on this. All those people come out of the woodwork like little ninjas, like, no, don't delete me. I love you. Where have you been all of our two years of Facebook friendship? Because I have never seen you show up anywhere. And I explain like, it is as though you're moving. You've been living in the Same House for 20 years. You've got this neighbor that's been living next to you for five years. You've never talked, ever. And now the moving truck's about to leave. You're leaving your house, you've been living there for 20 years. Neighbor's been there for five years, you're about to leave. The neighbor comes up to you like, just want to tell you we're going to miss you so much. My family and I, we, you know, we spy on you guys all the time. And on Christmas mornings, we, like, watch you guys unwrap presents. And that little pink PJ you wear when you have a cold. Like, and that's. I don't know what it is that you cook every year on Christmas, but there's a smell. Like, I can't believe we're not going to smell that anymore. And we're just going to miss your little mannerisms and, you know, the way that you unpack the car and just. We're gonna miss you guys. Like, why are you watching me and not saying hi? Like, don't be a creepy neighbor. If you watch me on the Internet, say hello. Like, just be there. Be a human. We have weird behavior on the Internet. We've forgotten to be. We've forgotten how to be humans. What do I need to say for people to like me? When have you ever asked yourself that question? Do you get prepared before you walk into the grocery store? Like, is this the right angle? Is the lighting right? I'm walking in, are we ready? Like, we don't do that. But before we do anything on the Internet, it's like, am I ready? It's the right light. Is this the right thing? We've forgotten how to be real people. It's crazy. It does the craziest thing. So I recognize something quite spectacular. When you know you're the one, you don't need validation. When you don't need validation, you post on a different frequency as, look at me. Like me. You post like this. Voila. Here's what I have to say. Here's what I have to say, period. And I'm the one that's meant to say it. And if you don't like it, that's okay, because this is the Internet. And I didn't write it for you to like me. I wrote it because it was my truth. When you don't need people to like you, everything changes. You can still be hurt when people don't like you. This is your human. So how it feels is a different thing. But does it change your behavior? That's personal power. I've had people say terrible things to me on the Internet. And it would be a colossal lie if I told you that it didn't hurt my feelings. But what it didn't do is change what I talk about. I got people be mad. I talk about money. People talk. Got mad because I speak about women. People get mad because I spoke about feminine energetics and leaning back energy. People get mad because I pop champagne. People get mad because I caviar People get mad because there's fur in my pictures. People get mad about so many things. And I can either take all of that on or I can be a Canadian that lives in like minus, I don't know what degrees outside and celebrates with champagne and be who I am and trust that people will either see past the parts that aren't for them or love me for those parts because they're like me too. And the people who bar me completely from life because there's one thing that I don't do that they do or that I don't like and they don't like. Like my. My best friend in the world is vegan and I have reindeer hides on my chairs because it is freezing outside. And if I want to sit outside, there's no way I'm going to go sit on a metal chair outside. And I cannot not go outside. And it makes me happy. My brother is a hunter and we eat the meat and we do the things. And I know that for a lot of people that's not okay. But my best friend's a vegan and my brother is a hunter and we sit on the reindeer hides. Can we be friends in real life? Yes. Can we friends on the Internet? No. Why? Why is one choice on the Internet make it that you can't be friends with anybody else? Why is it the one thing about one person that you like makes them perfect? The one thing you don't like makes them awful on the Internet. So what I'm interested in is changing the behavior on the Internet so that we can actually just be human again. Like humanizing the Internet, just humanizing the Internet. You're not just going to go up to a random person and be mad at them for doing a thing just right away. Like all of who you are doesn't work for me because of this one thing about you put on the Internet. We do that. The reason we do that is because the Internet is on the frequency of look at me like me. So then we get to say my phone fell on floor. We get to say I'm looking at you and I don't like you. And I get to tell you that because I can tell that you're trying to be liked. So I would like to tell you that I don't. There's another frequency that we get to embody and this is the frequency of I am the one who is the way she is. I am the one who is the way he is. I am the one who is the way we are. I am the one we Are the One the way we are. This is the magic. It's not about whether other people like you or not that dictates how you behave, but how people like you or not may change how you feel. Can you work on your feelings without changing your behavior? Can you stay true to yourself? Or as soon as someone doesn't like you, you try to change the behavior? Because if you can change the behavior, maybe you can change the feeling you can't. Who you are is who you are. And yeah, it feels really sad when people don't like us. But if we change our behavior when people don't like us, we live someone else's life. We become a mix of everyone else's opinion, and then we never find out what it's like to be the one living for what we love in alignment with our spirit. It's scary to have an opinion in life because of the Internet. It's scared to stand for something, whatever it is, because one stands against it. And the chances of being unliked are so thin. It's like I'm. I'm afraid of being me if I have. If everybody has to like me, but I am the One is something far bigger than how we're relating to the world right now. And we're teaching people to treat us based on how we treat ourselves. If you change your point of view, your perspective, your opinion, the way that you are, every time someone doesn't like the way you are, how much love and respect towards yourself do you really even have? It's like you have no relationship with yourself. You're looking for external validation to find out who's okay with what you're saying today and who's not. And if Facebook changes the algorithm and it decides to show who you are to a bunch of new people tomorrow, you got to start all over again. Because the algorithm is now showing you to other people who don't agree with this. It's never ending. So boundaries are very important in being the one, because you're the only one who can be the one. But you're also the only one who can set boundaries. Let me just turn my phone off because as it fell, it did the whole thing where the sound comes back on. Boundaries are not negative. Boundaries are the energetic threshold where you get to allow or disallow things into your life. So I'm going to give you an example of boundaries. When I first started my business and I was on Facebook in 2015, 2016, when Facebook Live first started, I was on the look at me like me frequency. I Did not feel like the one of anything. I felt like trying to be one who could one day do something. But I did not own my identity fully. And it felt like I was just a fish in a very big pond with tons of other fish in it. There was absolutely nothing unique about me whatsoever. And I remember the feeling of, how do you get seen? Like, how do you be seen? And I'm looking for everyone else to see me, but the one most important person that needed to see me was me. But I wasn't looking at me. I was looking at me through the lens of how everybody else might see me or not see me and how many likes everybody else was getting. I was completely out of my lane, looking at everybody else but not me and anybody who wanted to talk to me. I was so excited. If someone messaged me like, hey, I love your Instagram, I'd be like, yay. Oh my gosh, it's amazing. And anybody who offered me a coffee chat, coffee dates, I got on the coffee dates, I got on the Zoom calls. I did it all. Every little thing that looked like it was working, I got so excited about. There were very little personal boundaries. I had my private clients. I slept on my. I had one on one clients at that time living in Kentucky. I would drive down to them to help them through things in life and sleep on their floor if things were hard. I slept on one of my clients floor for like a month and I threw her an engagement party. I slept on her floor like I was all in. I was the coach that would fly to you if you're having a hard time. I was all in. Beyond all in. Super all in, all in. I took calls on my birthday, on Christmas day, on Christmas Eve. There is nothing that I would not do. No boundaries. Now here's what happens with no boundaries. As soon as someone breaks your heart, hurt your feelings, there's like an extraordinary crash. And a lot of like, I do everything and I get treated this way. Now, I didn't only do this with clients. I had also done this in my life with partners. I'll get you the job. I'll help you out. We'll do this. I'll help you. I did this with friends. I did this with family. I do this everybody. But not because it was. I was overflowing and I was generous. More so because it took my mind off me entirely to give to other people. Now there's the difference between I'm the one and I overflow. And my generosity ripples everywhere versus I am completely at a Deficit. But at least if I can keep all the balls in the air going, I can be valuable to other people. Two very different energies and two very different lived experiences. Now, I did the thing with retreats, I did the thing with VIP days, I did the thing. I did all the things I did 30 private clients in a month, I did all of that. And what happened as I did all of that is I was in the energy of look at me like me. Look at me like me. There came a time where I really did the work, the energetic work about boundaries. And I asked myself, what do I really want? What is the kind of business that I really actually want want? And here's the truth. I want a business that I can switch off at the end of the day. At some point, I want to have a personal life. One of the things that was blocking me from becoming really successful was the fear of, what if I can't have any peace in my life? What if I become famous and there's paparazzi and people who wait for me outside of places and people take my picture and they pick it apart for how I'm imperfect and how I'm not okay and how I'm not good enough and they make. They write gossip like, what if that happens? That was a huge fear for me. I don't know if you've ever had that fear. Like, what if it gets so big I lose my privacy, I lose my life. What if I become one of those people who has such a great appearance on, you know, I've made it on paper, but it's a hollow life. I don't want that. So I stopped going for being the one out of fear of the flip side. Not realizing I could set the boundary. I decide. So since 2019, I've made a very beautiful decision for myself, which is my work occurs online. And I, Melanie Ann, layer in real life, I'm just Melanie. I don't really desire the kind of life where I can't go somewhere because people recognize me everywhere. I don't. But if someone loves that, then there's an energetic match for that. But I want to be able to turn this camera off around six something tonight and have me and Kevin by the fire and nothing to do for anybody. I want to be able to wake up in the morning, have my morning coffee, relax, get on the phone with a client, hang up, go do something in my life. Go on another call, hang up, go do something else in my life. I don't want it to be. I've got to fly there Drive there, set up shop there. People ask me, they say, I want to. I can't wait till one day I meet you. I want to. Are you going to do retreats again? Are you going to do events again? And it's very difficult because the truth is I don't think I will do retreats. I don't even know how I would price a retreat. I don't know how I would take a week off of my entire work that generates over a million dollars a week to go and be on a retreat. How do I price that? How do I price a retreat where I have to take a million dollar break and then reschedule all that work? How do I do that? And if I were to take a week off, would I really want to put work in that? Because I don't usually take a week off right now anyway. So if I were to take a week off, shouldn't it be for Kevin and I to go to the Maldives? Shouldn't it be for me and my sister to go on a trip to Milan? Shouldn't it be for me to take my mom to Santorini? Shouldn't it be for me to go and hang out at my brother's house and get to know my niece more and spend time there if I'm going to take a week? So there will come a time in your life where the energy shifts from instead of look at me like me to this is me and here are my boundaries. And that day your life will change because that day you will know your worth. You will not be something that gets validated by likes on the Internet. You will not be applauded or adored by how much of you you give. You will work on yourself and your work and what you have to bring to the world. And then you will be strong enough to know how valuable you are that you're allowed to do it the way you want. What breaks the Internet, what makes people go, what is this? Is the person who says, here's what I have for you, Goodbye. Here's what I have to say. I'll check in when I feel like it. You look at every celebrity account. They're not trying to be seen. They're wearing shades so you don't see them. There's a. There's another side. When I know I'm the one, I don't need you to tell me I am. I'm telling you when I know I'm the one. I'm not trying for you to see me. I'm actually needing to strategically decide when I go Invisible when I need peace. It's not about jumping up and down to try to be seen. If you want to be seen, you just are. You're the one. If you don't want to be seen, you just don't be. You're the one. You decide. You've got to create your boundaries, but we are terrified of making those. You've got to decide that. I am actually not going to do live events. What? What if I want to meet you? I dream of meeting you. Then connect to me here. This is where my heart is. This is where my work is. My life is my life. And I want you to have that too, if you want it. And if you want to go do retreats, then you should be very happy that I'm not doing them. That much less competition. If you want to do live events, just be happy I'm not doing them. Even less competition. Anybody you love that's not doing what you wish they would do, love them for what they want to do. It's just that much less competition. And you go fill the gap. Do what feels good to you. I want a life where I wake up in the morning and the only thing I need to worry about is my morning coffee and my fiance. I want to go to sleep at night with a roaring fire and peace in my heart. I want to be able to walk into my grocery store without panic or stress. I want to be able to go where I want to go without all the things. I'm not trying to be seen everywhere. I want my message to be heard and that's such a different thing. For those of you who want to be famous, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. By the way. You get to want to be famous, but just notice that the energy and the frequency of fame is more so in hiding than in trying to be seen. People who actually are famous aren't trying to be seen. So if you want to manifest the frequency of fame, learn boundaries. Famous people wear shades and baseball caps so that they don't be seen. What if you had a little bit more of that in your life? If instead of trying to show everything you've got, you showed your best, your most vulnerable, your most real, your most truthful. Instead of trying to fill your life with showing people that you're good enough, if you decide you are, you are. And that's going to give you your life back. You have time for romance in your life. When you're not so busy trying to make the world know that you matter. You have time. So much time. If you're not scrolling through social media trying to see who might be cooler than you, getting lost in the vortex of look at me like me, look at me like me on the Internet. There's so much time in your life, and you're the one. If you strategically decide where you spend your energy and on what you decide, who are the people who inspire you and activate you in a way that feels good to watch you turn the rest off. If not, it's like watching Netflix 247 and wondering why your life isn't getting any better. Social media becomes a rabbit hole. You don't need to look at everything everywhere. There's maybe five or 10 accounts on social media that really inspire you. The other ones, they just make you wonder whether you're good enough or not. You're the one follow what. What activates you. And there's a difference between a trigger, because you're like, this makes me feel bad, and a trigger that's like, I could do better. You can keep those triggers, the I can do better triggers. Oh, gosh, what is she doing next? What's he doing next? Oh, gosh. When I watch that, I know it could do better. That's okay. You can keep those around. But the ones that are like, I literally just don't like myself when I watch this. Curate your experience. Who gets to make it into your energetic field? Who gets to make it in your consciousness? You're the one. You cherry pick what you watch. You cherry pick what you listen to. You decide what your lived experiences are. You decide what platforms you're on and how much people get to know about you. I heard every single rule. You've got to post three times a day. No, you don't. You need to have at least five to six stories every single day of your life. Three to five stories every day of your life. No, you don't. You need to post every story, every hour on the hour. No, you don't. You need to have a newsletter, send an email every week to your list. No, you don't. You need to have a website. You need to create something you need to get. You need. No, you don't. No, you don't. What do you want to bring to the world? What is your message? What is your one? What is your thing? And it's the same thing in your home. Like when you say, I'm, I'm trying to be the one for everybody. I'm trying to be the one for my mom. I'm trying to be the one for my kids. I'm Trying to be the one for my husband, my siblings, my friends, and it's too much. I'm not even trying to be the one for the world, just my family. It's too much. Where are your boundaries? Do you sometimes say, I can do this, but I can't do that? I can have the dinner, but I can't do the sleepover. I can have the party, but I've got to be gone by this time. I can come over, but then I want to go home to my partner. I can come spend the afternoon, but then I want to go home to my house. I can help you with this, but not with that. I would love to help you with that, but this is not a good time for me. It's about strategically organizing your life in a way where when you can be there, you're there with all your heart. And when you can't be there with all your heart, you don't be. Like, for example, when you. When I think about my kids in my life, my future, my kids, I want to be a mom that has more impactful memories than being there all the time. I already know that. Not because anything is right or wrong about any of the ways, but I already know that the kind of mom I'm going to want to be is a mom that is not there all the time. Like, not constantly, all the way. Stay at home, not doing any other thing than being with my kids. But I want that when I am there, the memories we make are extraordinary. I want to make incredible memories with my kids. So how do I decide I'm going to do that? As I do in every other relationship. You ask my friends how often they see me. They'll say, not enough. But you ask them what it is like when they see me. We have a great time. We don't just talk about nothing and do nothing. We laugh, we play games. We have the best time ever. We have the best food. We have the best everything. Like, it is so much fun. I remember all the times I have hung out with my friends, my family. I remember. It is a memory in my mind forever. We make it like, wow. And it always feels like I'm excited to see you again. Even though it might be in a. In a while from now, even though it might be a month or two from now. And I. I wish it was tomorrow because I had so much fun today. I wish it was tomorrow. When my life didn't work, anytime someone wanted to see me, I made space immediately. When can I see you this week? I'll try to make space. But I'm distracted and I'm overwhelmed and I'm overworked, and I'm going to say yes to this evening. And all night I'm stressed. I should have been doing something else. I'm not present. And then I feel guilty. So when they say, we should do this again, I'm like, yeah, let's do it again next week. Because this week I didn't nail it. It was constantly running around, not doing enough. Constantly feeling like I was running after my energy all the time and never really doing anything meaningful. But now, if I want a night to relax, that night matters. That night, just quiet and stillness. It matters. And if. If I'm not in the. In the vibe to have a friend over, my friend knows she's my friend. Because when we're together, it's amazing. And there's trust and there's boundaries. This is so powerful. When I say to a friend, you know, I. I really want this to be an incredible evening, and I'm feeling so sleepy or I feel like I need some alone time. My friends never question that that means I don't love them or not, because they know I do. But they also know I have boundaries. This is respect. And we want to create a world where people can respect boundaries. And that starts with us. For a long time, women have been like, you got to be the good girl. You got to. Got to do what people want you to do. Make an effort. Do your. Just. Just one night. Power through it, even if you don't feel like it. We've done that for so many things. Power through it, even if you don't feel like it. What kind of a life is that? You're the one. If you don't protect your energy, who's gonna. If you don't decide what makes it and what doesn't, who's gonna. You're the one. You're the one who decides. You're the one who makes the time or not. You're the one who creates the beautiful things in your life. You're the ones who. You're the one. You're the one. You're the one. You're the one. You're the one. No one else will do it for you. No one else will create that boundary. No one else will say, she needs rest. No one else will say, let's do it next week, because this week's pretty busy. If you don't say it, no one's gonna say it. Now, the other part of this is like social media and interactions on social media. Because I'm seeing some of the comments past and it's like, how do you grow an online business if you're not going to be there in the inbox? Well, there's many different ways to go about that. The first way is to say, I am available to be here for the next hour. Who wants to talk? I'm here right now. Ask me questions. An Instagram story, doing a Facebook Live that creates genuine connection with your audience. I can't be on Facebook all the time. I have 780 women in my afe. You think I have time to answer every single thing? I would. If every woman in the AFE sent me a one minute voice memo a day, my goose would be cooked just in that moment. It's not possible. But what is possible is for me to open my Facebook and actually go speak to people, go to a Facebook Live, do a little clip on my Instagram, write a post and hang out and actually respond on the post. Take the time to post it and then be there in the comment section. But for my business to function at the level that I want it, it's not just me. That's the one. Alpha Femme is the one. So I built a brand so big I had to calibrate in order to lead it. Alpha Femme helped me become Melanie Ann Layer. It's such a high frequency word. It's such a high frequency vision that I had. I knew if I was going to be the woman to lead this, I was going to have to raise the bar. So Alpha Femme is the one, the one company. I am the one. The one. Melanie and Layer. And then I had to find my one right hand woman, my one branding woman, my one customer experience woman, My one, my one, my one. Emmanuel is the one. I mean, I'm in her voxer every day. We talk every day. Shannon is the one. She creates the vision, the brand. Like I want something, it shows up in my face exactly the way I envisioned it. Or better, even better. She creates things. I'm like, how? She's the one. Shannon is the one. Vanessa is the one. She is the one. She gets on the phone, she talks to you. Lisa the one. Kimberly is the one. She manages my LinkedIn. She takes care of my social media. She's planning this incredible evolution from she is the one. Tammy is the one. The sweetest, kindest, innovative, wanting to help everybody on my team. The one Cam is the one that brings the vibes, that takes care with the energy. She's the one. It's the one. The one. Steph Is the one. Joanne is the one. And is the one. Joanne, Stephanie, Cheryl, Nicole. The one. The one. The one. The one for me. My one. You're gonna find your one and that one will answer the messages for you. I hate that I just called full blown names out. I wonder if I've not said someone else's name. It's one thing that's scary about saying a bunch of people's names. If I did not say your name. I love you. Thank you for being in my business and I love you so much for being alpha femme with me. My face is flushed. Just realized in this moment maybe I forgot one. Marilyn, she's on maternity leave right now. I love you all. So you are going to find your one that loves you and loves your company so much. My 1. My Kevin, my mom. And that wraps all the things. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Thank you for your help. Thank you. So you're going to find your one and then your other. Yeah. I said Tammy, Tammy, the sweetest one. She always wants to help everybody out and she's so fabulous and love her so much. So you are going to find your one that is going to be the one that says, I'm going to, I'm going to help you with this. I'm going to be your one on social media, like, I'm going to be your one. You tell me what your standards are and I will be the one. But you've got to be the one in order to attract the one because you're an energetic match. I have an incredible team, but I love them with all my heart and I would do anything like I love, I just, whatever they like, I, they've got me, they've got me, I've got them. There's an energetic match there. If I just was looking for employees, you know, minimum wage employees, doesn't matter, just you do your job. I would have very different employees. I'm the one for them, they're the one for me. They get to live their life knowing they're the one for alpha femme, the one for me. They're the one. How do we make people feel? How can you be a boss and make people feel disposable and hope for a powerful, beautiful, incredible human that's going to make everyone else feel like the one. There's no way. Got to be able to be an energetic match to hold the power, to hold the love, to hold the frequency of treating other people like the one. But how will you be a match for that if you're not even willing to See yourself like that. Who am I to hire a woman with this kind of education, who's led hotels, five star hotels all over the world, who speaks four languages, who's this? Who am I to employ her? Like, who am I? I'm the one and she's the one for me, for you, for us. I'm a match, She's a match, We're a match. We receive Vanessa because of who we are. I receive Vanessa because of who I am. Vanessa attracts alpha femme because of who she is. The ones attract the one. So when you want support in your life, but your belief about people as they let you down, your belief about people is they're not good enough. Your belief about people is you're better off doing it yourself. There's no people in their power in that. That means there's me. And everyone else is a turkey. Thank goodness for me. Thank goodness for me because if it weren't for me, the whole world would be turkeys and I am the one. Thank goodness. Very different energy. Then I see your, your power. I see my power. I see your power. Equal power, but different shoulder to shoulder. You're going to attract much more powerful people when you're able to see their power and hold it. Equal power, but different shoulder to shoulder, people in their power. Rather than I'm the boss, you're the turkey. Which is how a lot of businesses run their business. And they wonder why the customer experience is no good, why they're constantly looking for staff because no one feels important there. It's like, you're the boss, you're intelligent, we're the staff or turkeys, how far we're going to go with that. If you can't make people feel like the one, then they will never feel like the one. And then you will never attract the ones with the self esteem to feel like the one. Why would the greatest person on earth work for you if you can't? They can't tell. Like when you walk into a room feeling powerful and a person is dismissive to you and they don't see your power, you're gonna stay there. I won't like, do you know who I am? Do you even care to know? I am a such a nice, kind, loving person. You're treating me like crap today. Why? You don't even know who I am. Do you even care? And then there's the next level thing. Like you walk into a place, multimillionaire, successful, it's been your dream to be successful like this. You, you dive into this next level experience. For yourself. Maybe you rent a hotel suite that you love. You show up at the hotel, customer experience thinks, you know what it's taken me to get here. Do you even know how much this experience means to me? But if you walk into the space like the one, you will most likely attract the one at the front desk that has the power to do the thing. This is what starts to happen. You attract people and their power. When you show up like the one, it's the one with the power that shows up for you. You'll attract the one with the vibe like you. You will. You'll attract the right mentors, you'll attract the right clients, you'll attract the right friends, you'll attract the right partner. Because people are quite afraid of, you know that you've seen or heard this before. Like, people are. What's the right word? We can show up in Skechers, you can show up in sketchers, and one day you might just realize you don't want to anymore. And it might not feel right to you, but you can. You can show up in whatever you want. But. What's the word? I can't remember what I was going to say. It'll come back later. But the idea in all this is that you show up in so much knowing of your power, that you're an energetic match for the people, circumstances, the places. Oh, this is what I wanted to say. When people are. I just can't tell the word. I know what I want to say, but I can't think of the word. When someone is, like, scared of your power. What's that word? Intimidated. Intimidating. That's the word. Thank you. Thank you. Intimidating. So people will say, like, oh, you know, powerful women, they're intimidating. Is it that we're intimidating or is it that they're intimidated? Because it's a very different thing. Why are you going to profile me something when you're having a hard time? That's total projection. Because, funny, I'm not intimidating to him or her or them. So is it that I'm intimidating or is this. You're intimidated is very different thing. So when I come into a place and I'm like, I am who I am, and whoever's intimidated will not serve me. That's perfect. I need the one that's like, I already love her. This is. I'm the one for her. I attract the one. Every time. I attract the sassy woman at the front desk of the hotel, I attract the charismatic waiter. I attract the one, the manager, the owner, all the time. Because I walk into a place and I really think people can tell. Like, I think the manager should handle this one. I walk in with my hats and my smiles and my energy, and I'm like, hi, people. Like, let me get the manager. Like, it doesn't take very long. And the people with the power and the people with the charisma and the people with the vibe, they. They're drawn like, that's where I want to be because that feels good to me. And the people that it's too much for, they'll go and take care of the table right next to me where they're an energetic match for peace and calm. Whereas I'm like, va va voom. And I'm going to attract them as va va voom person in the place. We're an energetic match for people and their power, however much or little that is. And it's all perfect. There is no. One person does it right, one person does it wrong. One person is enough and one person isn't. It's just like, what's a match? What's the energetic match? And do I have boundaries? Because it does happen that I will go to a restaurant, I will have the time of my life, and then the person wants my phone number to hang out. No, but I'll be back. And I'll make sure to ask for you by name. Not everybody gets to be my friend because I don't have energy. I don't have space for everybody to be my friend, but I do have space to treat you like the one every time I come here. Can you have those boundaries? Can you treat people with kindness and respect? And when they're like, I'd love to hang out with you outside of here, you say, I don't do that, but you will be my person here forever. Like, I just know where my energy can be. People understand this when they have power. When they don't, they will be mad. And they will project that you're not nice. But that's not your job. It's our job to hold a strong enough frequency that the world can change. I dream of a world where women can say, thank you so much, but no to men, to women, to opportunities, and not be considered bad for doing that. Let's go out tonight. Going out. Thank you so much for thinking of me, but no, not tonight. Without needing to say, I can't tonight because I know the full sentence. Can we go back to yours? Not tonight. No, no, that doesn't make me bad. That makes me the only one that can make that decision. In my life I am the one who says yes or no I am the one who agrees or doesn't I am the one who allows or doesn't I am the one so if I let this through for you what am I doing to me? And can I ever be the one if I live for you? It isn't easy at first because we're terrified people won't like us. But what if they love us instead? I really, honestly don't want a person to do anything for me that they didn't want to do. It would be so sad for me if I found out that someone did not want to hang out with me, but they said yes because they didn't want to hurt my feelings. That would destroy the whole thing. I would far prefer a person to say to me, I don't hang out outside the Internet, but I'm so happy to see you in this space. And I'd be like, I totally get that. I'm saying rather than, yeah, sure, oh my gosh, yeah, we'll totally hang out and then ghost me. I don't do that. I don't do that anymore. It's like you meet a Kardashian somewhere and you guys hit it off and you immediately go, you want to give me your phone number? We should do this again. There's a boundary. Like, there's a boundary in things. Follow them on social media, write them a post, say, it was so great to meet you and that's it. If you ever. They ever get back to you, that's fine. But, like, the need for more. And if you try, if you're like, this was so great, Let me try it. And you said, oh, my gosh, X Kardashian, this is so cool. I had such a great time with you. Could we do this again? And she said, honestly, I can't do that. I have so many people that want to hang out with me. I will lose it if I think I've got you in my brain, that we've got to do this again. But if I see you again, we will have just as good of a time. Let's just trust the universe. You think you'd be like, she's the worst. She's not the worst. She's trying to navigate 40,000 million gazillion followers. Trust that your energetic match. People get it when it's a no. I want to hang out with you here, but I wouldn't want to take it out there. I had a great time, but I wouldn't do this again. I had A great evening, but we're not taking it inside. I enjoyed watching this movie in the living room with you, but we're not taking it to the bedroom. I enjoyed this. And that's complete. You get to have that. You get to have the people you like, the people you love, the people you adore. You get to have the people that you make time for and the people that you have energy for. That's different. I can have the energy to be kind to you without carving out extra time to make a me and you thing happen. I mean, I'll have that time, but I will always have the energy to treat you with respect and kindness. But we have to navigate that within our own body. And it's not easy. It's scary. And we are so afraid of being misunderstood. But the reason we're afraid of being misunderstood is because as a collective world, it's not okay to say no the minute you say no. You don't care about me the minute you say no. You were never honest about liking me in the first place. The minute you say no, what's wrong? We need to be able to hold no. And it's not an easy thing. But when you're the one and you start honoring your boundaries when people say no to you, you'll be like, I like you. You're good for me. Thank you for being honest. Thank you for trusting me with that. Can you imagine a world where someone said, if I say yes to you, I'm going to be so stressed to fulfill on that because the truth is, I can't even foresee a future where it would be possible to hang out. But I love you and I love today. This was awesome, but like, I can't commit to that. Thank you for being honest about that. I totally get it. Rather than, yeah, sure, what's the point? Just to be liked for a second. Let's make real connections. In order to do that, we've got to trust in ourselves. And then we also have to trust in people and their power. Now here's the beautiful thing about being in a group like this with this many people in it. If you change today and you start putting yourself first in a loving, powerful I am the one and you are the one. I care about me and I care about you and I care about us. When I give you this information, I'm saying no for me and I still care about you and how you feel about it. That's quite a spectacular kind of thing. Can you imagine a world where people put themselves first but care about other People. Because what we have now is people who put themselves first and in order to do that have to stop caring about other people or else they feel guilty. So the only way for me to put myself first is to be abrasive and not nice because I don't care about you because I'm putting myself first. As opposed to for me, for you, for us, for me. Because I put myself first for you. Because if we're going to have a real relationship, I'm not going to lie to you and for us. Because we will have a greater connection when we can be honest with each other. For me, for you, for us instead of for you against myself. And then there's never an us. I am the one if I'm the one that goes first. And I model boundaries. Someone loves this master course, but they want to try to get private coaching in my inbox. They won't get it because it's not possible. There's 1400 people in here. One, one private message with a private question for private coaching like Melanie, I just want. I. I know that you probably get a lot of messages in a day, but could you just please tell me how I should. One, one message like that. 1400 people. There's no way I can do that. If I don't have boundaries. I never make it here. If I was not able to hold, no, I wouldn't be here because there are so many things I've had to let go of and let someone else be the one in my life to take over in order for this to work, if I still needed to hold on to every conversation or else I was afraid that you wouldn't like me. We wouldn't have Vanessa. We wouldn't have Emmanuel. We wouldn't have Shannon. We wouldn't have Lisa or Kimberly or Stephanie. We wouldn't have anybody. We wouldn't have Tammy, wouldn't have Marilyn, wouldn't have Cam, wouldn't have Nicole, wouldn't have anybody. We wouldn't have all these incredible souls if I couldn't not do everything. We also wouldn't all be here today. In order for you to take your place in this world, you're going to have to have support. And in order for it to be a beautiful experience needs to be world class support. And in order to be an energetic match for world class support, got to attract people in your life that still feel like the one even though they're helping you because no one wants to forego being the one in their lives for you. Your partner doesn't want to do that your family doesn't want to do that. Your employees don't want to do that. No one wants to forego being the one of their own life for you. So unless you manage to hold people as the one for them in your presence, you will always hire people who seek validation and do not know how amazing they are. We change the world by surrounding ourselves by people who are amazing and know how amazing they are. I know. I really do know how amazing I am now. I do. It took me a long time to get here, but I see what I've been through, what I've. What I've led myself through, what I've learned, how I've kept myself strong, how. How I've learned for me, for you, for us, how I've continued to sharpen my edge. And I'm so proud of me. I can say that now. I can say I'm so proud of the woman I've become. I'm so proud of the woman that I've become. I can say that and mean it. But because of that, when another woman comes into my life, I don't need her to be proud of me. I can be proud of us. I can say I'm so grateful for this woman who comes in and brings her magic because she really is the best that there is. And I don't know how I would do what I do without her. She's the one. And that woman gets to feel like she's the one in her life and in our world. She matters as the one for me, for her, and for all of us. And I would not be able to attract the kind of power that is in my brand if I needed everyone to say, Melanie's the one. The magic of being in my world and now the world of the women that are with me and the humans that extend this community is that you feel like the one around them. It's not people who are trying to get you to say that they're the one. It's people who care about us claiming being the one. Together. Together we rise in my masterminds. I come into my mastermind in the day and I honestly, it brings me so much joy. I have never in my life seen sisterhood like I see at this level. And we're talking like top of the, top of the line competition like these. These women are literally doing some of the same things and they are giving each other tips, inspiration, resources, connections. They're rooting each other on, they're celebrating each other's milestones. They're giving each other Connections. They're giving each other tips and, and feedback. Like this happened to me and this is how I handled it. They're walking each other through life. They're walking their greatest competitors through things. It's the most incredible thing I've ever seen. And it doesn't exist without I'm the one and you're the one. And together we rise. Unity and diversity, duality, togetherness, all of these different dynamics make it for a world that works. When I understand boundaries and you understand boundaries, we can both be who we are. If I understand boundaries and you don't understand boundaries, and I change my power to accommodate your lack of understanding, both of us dim. If I understand boundaries and you don't understand boundaries, and I hold my boundaries and my power even in the face of fearing that you don't like me anymore. And I hold my heart and your heart in compassion for the fact that you might not get it right now. You may rise too. But it's the hardest thing. It takes courage. And it takes knowing that we're doing the right thing. It takes saying I am the One, so I am not going to pacify our greatness so that you feel better. I know better than that. I'm the gateway to our ascension. I'm the One. If I don't model boundaries, who's going to? If I don't model my word is law, who is going to? If I don't model strength and courage around subjects that people shy away from talking about, who's going to? If I don't stay true to myself, who's going to stay true to myself? Where do I go? Where does my consciousness, my uniqueness go? If I don't stay true to myself, where does myself go? But the world becomes the better place. As we all understand these things, but we go first. It would be so much easier to change our behavior in a world that was already ready for it. The world isn't ready for it yet. And it is very easy to be misunderstood when you're ahead of your time. Everyone here is avangailed. Everyone here has this ahead of our time mentality where we see a world that's greater than the one we're living in. In order to create that, we have to go before the world changes. If we're going to create it, we've got to create it before it happens. And for that, the only way is that we claim that we are the One and we have a radar for people in their power because we understand the collective power of One. I can't do this alone. And I can't do this with people who need me to tell them what to do. I've got to do this as me. With all my power being channeled on me, with the trust that you are going to do this, with all of your power being channeled on you. And that by I'm doing that and you're doing that. The world is watching us do that. They're saying, I think those people are up to something. Maybe I could try my light turning on. It's not about lifting each other. It's about lifting ourselves. To remind people how tall we can stand and them then raising themselves up, too. If not the most exhausted people are the people at the top. If you have to hold everybody, then everything everybody's ever said about power is true. It's lonely at the top. It's exhausting at the top. But what if every single person is for themselves? I am the one. And my one and only job is to never forget that. For me, for you, for us. Not because I make you the one. Because I'm the one. And I remind you I don't have to do anything more than just do it and not forget when the storms come, I don't forget. When the tests come. I don't forget when the opportunities come to steer away, I don't forget I am the one. I am the one. For me, for you, for us. But I don't need to make you anything as I am the one for me. You rise because you remember this is our power. Not to need other people, but to rise together, side by side, from desire. Because it's better together. Because the alternative is competition against each other or with each other. Neither one is needed, but there is a reaction. Which one will we choose? We go so much further together and we learn so much faster together. And we hold each other accountable. Not by saying, okay, are you going to do it? But by saying, look, I did it. She did it. She did it. I got to do it. I knew I should do it. We help people remember what they're capable of every time. We don't forget I am the one. Your homework today is to deepen. I am the one. I am the one. Everywhere you go, I am the one. Because if you are the one, you will attract the people who know they are too. They will feel so safe with you. Because when you feel confident, you don't want to go in shining light around people who are scared and terrified. And you kind of be careful around those people. But the people who are strong, you know they can hold your light. As the stronger you are, the more you attract people who go, I can be myself around you. You can hold my power. You can see it, you can feel it. I can be me around you. Unapologetic, strong, proud, bold. And then you attract the partner. Then you attract the friends. Then you attract the employees, the staff, the team, the clients. When you are the one, the world responds in kind. People who have already broken free from these paradigms are just looking for people like us to feel like they can be themselves with. They don't need to dim their light. They don't need to pretend they're less than who they are. They don't need to be a little less out of fear that we get triggered. They get to be everything around us. And then we break free as a collective. I am the one. And when I am the One, you can be the one. Because I don't see your power as ever potentially taking away from mine. When I am the one in a collective and I'm still the one, no matter how many people are claiming that nothing can take this away from me. If I'm the one, as long as I'm the only one, we're all in competition and no one is safe. If every time you're the one, I'm the one, we're the one, it raises my understanding of this power, then we are constant reminders of what we can do, of what we're capable of in this world. So deepen. I am the one. See your kids like that. They are the one. Your partner, he is the one. She is the one. They are the one. Look at your partner. They chose you for a whole life. You are. You are the source of romance. If you're in a monogamous relationship, you are the source of romance for the entire life of this person. What do you want to do about that? In playful, fun energy. You are the one. You're the one child, the eldest child, the middle child, the youngest child. You're the one. Or the one sister, the one sibling. You're the one. You're the one on social media who talks about this or that. You're the one. You're the one employee of the brand who. You're the one. What's your place? What's your power? You're the one. Really tap into this even more, even deeper. Try it on. I am the one. See how it moves things for you? This is the most important piece of the puzzle because it is the most powerful people who changed the world and the thing you need to Be powerful about is you. Everything you believe you can do, you do. Everything you believe you can't. You doubt. What if you just did everything that you wanted to do in this life? You'd be unstoppable. You'd be the one. So try it on again. Until tomorrow's module. Try it on again. More deeper. Take it on more. Even more. Just that little edge. Just a little deeper. And when you have boundaries to give, remember this. The boundary protects me, protects you, protects us. If I am honest about how I feel and I'm respectful when I tell you, I will protect me. I protect you from a lie. And I protect us from what will break our relationship one day. Where there is boundaries, there is respect. Where there is boundaries, there is longevity. Short term works with no boundaries. Long term does not. We want evolution and growth over a lifetime. Love and connection over a lifetime. Change and transformation over a lifetime. Boundaries and longevity go hand in hand. Practice the boundaries for me, for you, for us. How do you share something with someone? For me, for you, for us. This is better for all of us. If I tell you the truth, let me do that with kindness and compassion. When you learn how to do that, you won't be so afraid of being big, seen, known. Because the greatest thing about being famous and successful is the energy isn't about trying to be seen. It's about putting boundaries so you can be in your stillness and your quietness. Look at any famous person. They leave their house, they put the shades on, they put things on, they're creating boundaries around being seen. They're not trying to be seen, they're creating boundaries about being seen. That's the energetic match for fame. So if you want to be famous, this works this way anyway. And there's a mysterious thing about a person that's not trying to be seen on the Internet. It's kind of weird. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Like me. Like me. And then there's the one. The one who knows that everything that's being put out there is rock solid gold and lives their lives fully and has boundaries around social media and boundaries around messages and boundaries about who is able to reach their personal energy or not. And they've got incredible people in place. You are the one. You are the one. No one else can do this for you. So practice the boundaries. And if you feel like it's so hard and you can't do it, journal about it. Anytime somebody offers you something, wants something, you feel yourself wanting to say yes, just to be nice. Journal. Journal. Journal. Journal. Steffi says, I'm becoming that woman. You know, one thing that I've recognized in this is it's a very little girl pattern to want to be well behaved. And the people that we want to do good for are like the parent figures, the ones who seemingly lead the way for us or give us validation or our friends that we don't want to be cast aside and we're not allowed to go play at their house anymore. These conversations are rite of passage into womanhood conversations. These are conversations about actually embodying becoming a woman. For the men who are watching this, it's the little boy that didn't want his mom to be upset. It's the little boy that wanted to be cool in front of his friends. The little boy that never said no because didn't want to be called a chicken or weak or. But the man says no. The woman says no or says yes because it's right for me, for you, for us, for a better world. So practice this and notice what comes up. If it's difficult and you can't do it, don't beat yourself up. Just look at it, play around with it. What's this mean? What does it do to me? Like, let me think, let me look. Just question it because I have a big module for us tomorrow. So thank you for being here. Enjoy tonight, and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow for another live module. You are wonderful. Thank you for being here. And I will see you on the Internet. I am the one it sa.