#54 From Advertisement Secrets to Self Discovery | An Open Discussion with The Good Day Matrix's Daz Burns

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Everybody. And welcome back to the Good Day Matrix. My name is Daz and I am really, really excited today to be online to interview Tim Jones from Grow Good. Welcome, Tim.

Hello. Kia ora shamay. Thanks for having me.

We. I'm so excited. I. I'm going to flip my intro a bit because I met Tim a few years ago. I was in the lockdown, I think, on an online.

Session that he was facilitating. And he was like the man from the minute that he started because he had this really, really well executed playlist that just delivered each, like fitted the moment that you. The point you were trying to make. And it was just. I was like, that guy is awesome.

That's half the battle. That's my theory.

It helps it stick too though, right? Like that's basically.

I'm just trying to play with people's minds and get them to vaguely remember something that I might have told them.

So Tim's purpose is to co create a world where every human thrives, contributes fully and is free from major concerns, where we all live in a manner that is regenerative to the planet that we call home. He was in the reserve forces in the UK for seven years, which is absolutely amazing. He was New Zealand's first qualified battle consultant. Did I say that right?

Yep. B consultant. Not B Corp consultant. Yeah, B consultant. For some reason, that's where it was.

About to go and I was like, no, it's just B. And he's helped more than 70 companies to become B Corp certified, which is amazing. And past the impact assessments, he loves skiing, he loves rugby, he loves medieval history and he really, really loves connecting with communities. So I'm really, really excited to talk to you today, Tim, and share some of your wisdom and get some of your stories along the way, because it's been pretty exceptional. So thank you.

Wow. Thank you. I feel like I've got big boots to fill now.

I never feel like I do people justice in those intros. So that's good, that's really positive. So at the Good Day Matrix, we talk about five pillars of well being and there are many more, but the five that we focus on are body, mind, identity, community and environment. So we'll kick off with identity and then we'll just weave ourselves through. So identity, it's so important to know who you are and where you've come from. And after talking to you, you are very much on the same page as me in terms of that understanding. So tell us about your papa, tell.

Us about your life and literally on the same Page in that we're probably from the same village in Wales ultimately.

So even though I've got a French flag behind me, I don't have that.

Today in my daffodil.

Yeah, no, I totally agree. You know, in a lens of purpose and trying to do good and sort of in general, but life in general, I think in the modern world we are so disconnected from our papa, from our history in the western democratized world, clearly in the Maori worldview. You know, I was at a speaking at an event a couple of years ago. One of the other speakers was this guy, he was a former banker who quit his job and basically got massively involved in community. And his opening part of his Talk was basically 10th person next to you and ask them these four questions. What's your name? What do you do? Where are you from? And what's your purpose? And I'm like, well that's interesting. And, but, and, and he was a Maori guy and, and this is what said like in our iwi, this is how we introduce ourselves. It's like you introduce yourselves and one of the things you say is what's your life's purpose? It's like, well that's pretty next level. But yeah, I think we in general are really disconnected. Like most people maybe will know, well, mum and dad were born here or they weren't born here and maybe you might know, grandparents were born somewhere different. But beyond that, like do you have any idea, do you have, does anyone care? Because in the sort of 3 meter world in which we live in or the 3 second world in which we live in, like kind of who cares what happened a thousand years ago. But I think it's so critical for you to be able to place yourself in the world and contextually and be able to understand yourself. Because, you know, like we said, you know, I was a medical device rep for many years and doing some family ancestry, you know.com hashtag you know, research. I discovered that I think it was like a great uncle of mine was a medical device salesperson. Now most people in the world don't even know that medical device sales is a job like selling equipment into hospitals. Well, he was doing it like in the 1910, 1920s in like Bermuda in the Bahamas. It's like, well that's quite random. And then I think I was on my mum's side and then on my dad's side, I think it was a great uncle again was an ambulance driver. We kind of go, well so there's two historical references here to medicine. Well, is it A shock, therefore, that I've ended up as a medical rep. Well, not completely. And I think the big one we talked about was, yeah, my sort of medieval history. So I did a degree in medieval history, did my dissertation on the Norman conquest. So 1066, King Harold, King William. You know, why did I choose? You know, throughout all my schooling, like, history just kind of really captured me, but particularly that medieval period. Don't know why. And then I kind of. You know, it was kind of expected that I go to university through the school that I went to. And it's like, well, if I'm gonna have to go, I might as well do something that I'm vaguely curious about. So I found a course on medieval history in Cardiff so I could connect to my papa, I guess, in that way.

Yeah. And. And then it was literally, you know, like, probably five or six years ago, doing this ancestry piece, I discovered that one of my ancestors was a guy called Ghislaine de Hallsall, who was a Norman knight who fought at the Battle of Hastings. And you. I'm getting tingly just thinking about it. Right. You just kind of go, well, that's a. That's a thing, isn't it? Like, you know, I could have chosen any other period of history to go and study and any other period of history and any other world event to do my dissertation on, and I chose the Battle of Hastings. I wish I'd known I had an ancestor because I would have completely changed my dissertation. I would have done it on him, you know? So. Yeah, I just think the more. The more you can understand who you are, who you really are. Not the kind of like, well, this is who I think I am, or, this is who I think I need to be. One of my favorite words is Persona, which, in. I think it's Latin or Greek. Can't remember. Top my head. It means mask. And Persona is what you would put on in a play. And most people are walking around with a mask on, and it's like, that does not help your mental state because you have this kind of duality of like, this is who I want to be, this is who I think I should be. And that's not conducive to a positive mental state of mind. In my experience.

No, no. And most people's experience, to be fair.

Yeah.

They just may not know it a hundred percent.

Yeah. Yeah. And it manifests. You know, I. I love looking at. Is it etymology, the. The meaning or. Or history of words or, you know, where words come from, you know, disease, dis. Ease. If you are dis eased, if you're not at ease with who you are, you will be diseased.

Wow.

It's like, you know, there's so many little clues out there, but, you know, we think we're smart. We've got TikTok, we've got, you know, everything. And that's the thing, you know, you've literally got the world at your fingers on this little device. You can get any bit of information in. Nan can now get that chat GPT robot to write you anything that you want in seconds. And, you know, we've got all of this. We've never had so much, but we've never felt so disconnected and, you know, frazzled for it. Yeah. What's the phrase? We've never had it so good but never felt so bad at the same time. And it's like.

Have you heard of the Dictionary of Lost Words?

No, but after this that's what I'll be spending the rest of my afternoon.

Yeah, I haven't, I haven't read it yet, but a friend of ours, Cassie, who we've interviewed on here as well, she, she, she read it and then has bought it for a bunch of friends because it's nice. Back in the day when dictionaries were being created and developed.

Yeah, yeah.

With male words and all, a lot of language got lost and missed because was it from both sides, et cetera. So, yeah, apparently it's really, really interesting. So that might be something that I.

Will check that out. That's. That's a rabbit hole to go down.

There you go. It's always a rabbit hole.

There's always rabbit holes. Yeah, Life is one big rabbit hole.

So move on to body. So what activities do you do daily? Any rituals or routines that you do to take care of your body?

Yeah, I've been really thinking about that actually. Not necessarily since our call, but you know, it's hard when you've got small people in your family because I think, I hope most parents will try and prioritize small human rather than big human. And you then have a business which is like having another human, which sometimes, sometimes does less what you ask it to do than your actual child does. Yeah.

Yeah. The last sort of seven years in business, I, I've definitely not had as good a body, physical based routine as I as I needed to. I'm getting better at doing that. That being said, my baseline is a walk with a dog. Pretty much. He might not get one today because it's like 30 degrees and he's already panting and not enjoying life. So. Yeah, but in general like a walk, take the dog for a walk, get a podcast on the go, get into nature. Yeah, just have some me time. But yeah, really getting back into. I've got my bike out in the corner, so I'm just like a bike to a meeting yesterday instead of driving or making it a zoom call. But yeah, I'm just, I've just actually started a coaching program on my health and fitness, so been getting back into doing some weights and some movement and stuff like that and getting, getting my nutrition dialed in. So I started before Christmas. So I did Christmas with no alcohol, no sugar, no gluten, no dairy. Good work. I did have one beer on New Year's Eve, but don't tell Ollie. I think one beer.

Delete that.

Yeah, cut that bit out. Yeah, so yeah, it's, it's one of those things, I mean, I guess in terms of body and mind.

I used, Well, I have used a meditation app called Insight Timer. I, I, in terms of meditation, I like breathing because I, I feel like I need something physical and tangible rather than like just sit there and don't think of anything and then everything comes into your head. But what's that? I think, is it Gandhi, he said if you think you can't meditate for an hour, it means. You mean to need to meditate for two hours? Yeah, very active mind, lots of ideas. So I did do about two years of cons, like literally every day. Consecutive. I think it was more than that. It was like 1500 consecutive days of meditation. And then I got sick mid last year with a cold or flu. It wasn't covered. And then I lost the, you know, the consecutive days and I was like, yeah. So I kind of dropped that off. But again it's, it's on the, that is the, the next thing to get back in. It's just, even if it's just five minutes, you know, just have that breathing. I do also like we bought just like a little paddling pool. I said like a mini pool, like 12 foot square pool for the summer. I'm getting in that in the morning. It's not freezing cold. That's on my saving list. Like, I love being cold. I perform like today I'm just, my brain gets a bit slow. It's just too hot. But when it's cold, that's when my, like I can really, you know, get stuff done. So yeah, a cold plunge pool of some description. Ice bath. That's, that's on the. I didn't get the handyman Jeans. That's definitely one of the identity things I didn't get, you know. Was it those miter 10 adverts? It's like, you know, I'm the guy who calls the guy because it's just easier and I'm cool with that. Yeah, yeah, 100%. So I'm happy to be that guy. I'm happy to own that. So, yeah, I'm trying to find someone who can build me, you know, an ice bath, either out of one of those old freezer things or there's some other things that you can do. But, yeah, if I do it, I'll electrocute myself, so.

Oh, my God. Well, if we're in the same region, my husband could do it. He now builds pools as well as houses, so he could.

All right, well, come down for a holiday and we'll make some. Make it work.

Just to add, even though we're talking about body at the moment, to add into that. There's another book I read the start of this year called the Miracle of Mindfulness, and I can't say his name properly. It's like something, right?

Oh, yeah, I know. I kind of know the guy. You mean.

Yeah, it's a really nice, short, small book, but it's got clear ways to meditate, clear ways to include breathing, and clear, clear reasons that it works. And, you know.

And you're preaching to the choir.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm bad at it. I'm a bad breather. I breathe really shallow.

Right.

And I'm bad at, you know, doing that. So it was a really great book to a good reminder. Yeah, yeah. So how do you. Because you are one busy human. How do you prioritize doing things for your body on busy days? Or slash, just navigating that with your small humans?

Yeah. Like I say, I'm pretty, like, the baseline of going for a walk. I'm pretty good. Like, unless I'm like, absolutely just shattered and I've had a big day. I mean, some days when you're doing workshop facilitation, you know, you can easily do, like 20,000 steps delivering a workshop. So if you've got a busy day, it's like, actually, do you know what? I can flag the walk increasingly, though, the last couple of years, a lot of work done on Zoom. So, yeah, I'm pretty good at the walk. Has been my baseline for, like, the last. Since we got the dog, which is about seven years ago. Seven or eight years ago. It's like, well, he needs to go. I should probably go with him rather than Just letting him roam around the streets. So, yeah, normally, I mean, normally my morning routine would be, you know, get up. My daughter was going to the local school, which was like a five minute walk up the road. So I'd try and cajole her to walk with me. So that would be, you know, we get some time, walk school, drop her off. I can go and there's a little loop I can go and do. So yeah. But yeah, like I say, this, literally this last sort of two, two to three weeks, been getting back, trying to do some workout in the morning and then put, maybe push the walk to the evening. But yeah, get into swimming as well. I kind of historically struggled with swimming. I just could never get my breathing right with the, you know, in the UK we would call it the front crawl rather than the freestyle. Must be a Welsh. Yeah. Which is not designed to swim. Yeah. I don't remember there being many gold medals for swimming out of Wales.

Yeah. New South Wales, different story. Obviously they had some special, some special food or jeans or something In New South Wales. Yes. Again. So this afternoon, like I say, really hot day, my daughter's going down to the pool with some friends. So, you know, later on might go down, do a few laps. So that's quite. So I think swimming is kind of like a really good activity because you have to disconnect and you're doing your breathing so it's almost kind of like active meditation. Yeah. And then just try and count how many legs you've done. I'm sure. Have I done 10? Was it 12? I don't know.

That's where you start to learn how long it roughly takes you to do a lap and then just time it.

I've got my watch now, which can count the legs, but every now and then it's like, I know I've counted 10 and you're telling me I've done 11.

So take the 11, take the 11, take the 11.

Yeah, yeah.

If it feels like cheating, it is, but if it's not, you know, I.

I normally, I normally go, okay, look, I think you over count. So I will normally finish and then do like a bonus too. Nice. It's. That's the army trading in me. It's like you're already cheating yourself. Yeah, you know, integrity check. It's like, no, just, you know, do it.

Yeah. Which leads us really well into mind and talk to us about having control of your mind and sort of quitting and the strategies that you use around your mindset.

Yeah.

We had a good chat about this. And I think for me, getting to know myself over the years has been really, really useful, you know, in terms of personality profile tests. I was lucky. I spent a good 10 years in a high performing sales job where they spend a lot of money in helping you work out who you are so that you can be better equipped at talking and basically selling to other people so you can understand psychology. What have you. So really grateful that I've had quite a lot of insight, you know, into I guess like popular psychology, but some deeper stuff into like how the mind works. And then on top of that, definitely that time I spent in the army, you know, one of the sort of the running jokes we would have as, as men because in a couple of the units there were females as well. But typically for a guy, our logic was they can't kill us and they can't make us pregnant. So beyond that, what is, you know, it's just going to be hard. But it's not that literally, you know, if the army kills you on a training exercise, there are so many forms that someone's gonna have to fill in. It's, you know, they're not going to push you that, you know, then the sergeant Major is not going to push you that far because it's just going to be painful. Like, well he, he doesn't, he might not care whether you die but you know, it's just going to be more painful for him. The bureaucracy that he has to deal with. So that. So one of our other mottos was, what's it? HH cib how hard can it be? It's like. And so that time in the army for me was just really, I think it's really taking away the worry, you know, ultimately you might go and kill someone, but that putting people in an environment of hardship with other people who are sharing that with you, where there is this element of discipline and you just have to do it, I think it leads to a better human. You know, there is a lot that you can get out of that as a human being.

Yeah.

So yes, I got a lot of my mindset. I had a.

Interesting relationship I guess with my dad. He's passed away now. 2016.

One of the things that, you know, he, he did get me to do stuff when I was young, physically. Like we go walking. So in Wales there's, I can't remember how many. There's like X number of peaks that are over 3,000ft. And like I did all of those by the time I was like 14 or 15. And there's a thing Called the Pembrokeshire coast path where you, it's like on the south, the bottom bit of Wales that kind of goes along like that.

We walked that when I was probably 10, 9, 10, 11 and he would tell me that we were doing like a mile every day, but actually we did like 10 miles every day but you don't know what a mile is so you just kind of do it. And there was another time we cycled from north to South Wales with another dad and his son and we did that like four days and again I was probably like 13, 14. And so yeah, you know, definitely there were some pivotal moments where it's like, well, you're just doing it and you just gotta keep going. And so yeah, I think I have a pretty good baseline of. Resilience is probably not the right word. There's a word that I love using which is indefatigable. It basically means you, you cannot be fatigued. And sometimes that's really useful because sometimes if you just give it one more go, if we just try it a different way, if we, you know, just one more. Sometimes that's all it takes, you know, just one more knock on the door and the door opens. The downside is sometimes you don't know where to give up.

Yeah.

And, or not give up. But it's like, you know, we've. That horse is looking pretty flogged right now. I don't think it's gonna go. Generally don't think it's going. Okay, let's jog on. So yes, it's a double edged sword but I think I'd rather be, I'd rather go further and then have to stop, then not have gone there and not knowing what was possible or you know, not had that opportunity suddenly manifest because you, because you quit because you just gave up.

Yeah.

I mean quitting, giving up, you know, they're strong words but yeah, sometimes you do just need to realize that yes, it's not meant to be. And that's cool. Yeah. And I think that ability, you know, resilience, the definition for me is, you know, that ability to bounce forward or bounce back, depending how you want to frame it.

Increasingly over time I've become better at that. I used to take things quite personally, that was like my personality type. But also now having done a lot of the deeper internal work, you know, massive need for approval because lack of approval from parents as a child and all that kind of stuff, which is fundamentally, if you're in a sales role, mummy and daddy didn't give you enough hugs. Because that's the only reason you like driving around in a car or being on the phone having conversations with lots of people where one of them might tell you, oh my gosh, you're amazing. Yes, I'd like to buy your stuff.

So yeah, that, that ability just to kind of. Yeah, sure, look, I kind of, I care, but I don't care. Like if you say no, it's actually, it's on you, not me. So yeah, that's, those have been like the two, the two big things for me around mindset. Yeah.

That's pretty strong.

Right.

And how, how much I reflect when you talk about young me and how I actually wouldn't try in the first place for fear of getting it wrong or not being the best. Were being embarrassed.

Yeah.

I had huge lack of self confidence and so now I kick myself because I had some wicked opportunities.

Yeah.

And I didn't give it everything I had when I had the chance because then I could say ah, but I didn't give it everything and I failed at it. That's why. Because I didn't try.

And that's the whole thing, you know, you'll always regret the thing you didn't do rather than the thing you did do. Yeah. Because you'll never know. It's like, yeah. And we're sort of going through that. Our daughter's 10, going on 11. She's just about to move school into, it's like secondary school but they've got intermediate as part of it and there's a whole lot more opportunities coming her way next year, you know, like sporting all the rest of it. And we're just like, please, just. In fact, we fundamentally want to make her like, no, you're just going to go and give it a go. Because sometimes you don't know. And like you say it's mainly that, oh, but what if I don't look good? And you know, what if I'm not good at it? But it's, if you sort of look, it's kind of a little bit Jungian psychology, you know, the idea of the jester, you know, the fool, the person who's, who's willing to put themselves in a place of vulnerability and exposure to point something out. But you kind of have to become the fool. You have to become the kid again to start learning and be okay with the fact. I mean it's unlikely that you're going to be an award winning world record setting person in a thing on first. Like sometimes, yeah, sure, there are people like that and there are, you know, Complete outliers who are just. I mean, I guess you could look like Joan alone, you know, just like, just turned up and was pretty much amazing at rugby. Didn't need much, you know, polishing, whereas there are others who. Who need that coaching and guidance and what have you. But. Yeah, how do you know until you. Yeah, I think that comes back to, you know. Well, we haven't really talked about it, but, you know, knowing who you are, not kind of knowing what you might have a proclivity for, but being willing to test that, you know, because there will be learning. But I guess that's the value of having mentors and coaches because typically it's, you know, as you say, you know, you. You can't see what's in you, but you know, someone else can see what's in your. Like, you don't know that you have got this potential. So let's go give it a go.

Yeah, no, I. That's my. My hope for my kids is that we do the same. They don't have to be. And they don't have to be great at everything. Like.

No, just give it a go.

I always thought, oh, but I'm not good at it, so I won't try. Yeah, you know, I wouldn't be good enough. So I won't take that step. But I wouldn't. So I only played two sports or three sports for clan athletics because I was good at those. But I'd get invited to play basketball, whatever. And so if I just given it a nice. But I didn't have to be the best. Like, it wouldn't have mattered if I just played social. If I loved it. My mindset was wrong, so.

And sometimes you might be rubbish at something, but really enjoy it. Yeah, like, that's okay too.

Just don't expect who brings the joy.

Yeah, totally.

Joy and the love of it. So we'll move into community. And so we talk about community and we're trying to break down some barriers of community as we talk about community, because a lot of people think community comes with a lot of work or a lot of time commitment, and then they don't think some of the things they're part of are actually communities when they really genuinely are. And so communities can be anything from being part of a rugby club to a knitting group to a reading group, to just your neighborhood street. Like there's. There's so many different communities can be a work communities. So you are particularly passionate about neighborhood communities. So tell us about the tribe that you've collected along the way. And the different communities that you're a part of.

Yeah, I mean, because I think community is one of those words that it's not very sexy and exciting. You know, it's like community watch, community neighborhood watch. I don't know, it's just got like a. It's just. I don't know, I just imagine old people. When you hear the word community, in my mind, I just sort of imagine old people. So I think community is a word that. Yeah, it's. Maybe we need to check Cassie's dictionary. I mean, I guess, you know, commune, communitas. It's sort of, you know, the body. I think it means the body or something like that. That's testing. Anyway, I think it means something like that. Yeah, community is really interesting because again, I think it comes back to that identity piece and, you know, where do you connect into and, you know, who's your tribe and all the rest of it? I guess on the. On the meta level, you know, my journey into discovering B Corp as a movement and having had what I call a hard Brexit from the corporate world of, you know, working for companies who. It's just about profit maximization, literally. We don't care if we kill people whilst making as much money as we can. You know, that's just how we roll. So at the meta level, that was like my initial big kind of community. I think realization of like, community in terms of, okay, needing to connect with a group of people who think quite differently from what I'd been, you know, brought up in. I mean, I went to school in the uk. It's interesting. I'm kind of. I've reconnected on Facebook with the. Well, with my, like, my primary school, they've got like an alumni thing going for that. And it's quite. It's been quite cool, like looking back at, you know, where it is and what the kids are doing now and, you know, get some updates and. But I don't really have any connections from that community. You know, I grew up in a small village in the south of England. I don't think there's anyone even in my phone contacts from that village. You know what I mean? And then secondary school again, you know, there's a couple of people there that I've stayed connected with. University, got a big group of community there and. And we've recently reconnected a group of about 10 of us, sadly, because one of the group is quite sick with cancer. And as one of them, one of the other guys said it, you know, why did it Take one of us to get really sick for us to get on bloody WhatsApp. It's like, well, yeah, that's pretty good comment. But yes, we have all been busy with kids and family and D. So that's. That's been really good. And that's just basically a group of lads talking rubbish to each other on WhatsApp and sending rubbish jokes and memes, which I think guys need.

Yep.

Because we get quite a lot of chuckles out of it. And then basically we go on a zoom call every now and then and just abuse each other like we did in 1996. So it's like, this is great. So there's that kind of community and we're building community, you know, within my business at Grow Good. That, that's a big realization for me is, you know, if you're a business owner, if you're working with clients individually, well, they're probably all quite similar and they've all got similar problems and aspirations and similar types of people. So put them in a group together and who knows, there might be some magic that happens. So, yeah, the last 12 months we've been really big trying to build community within, you know, our client base, looking at expanding that into having beyond the digital community. Looking at trying to get a couple of retreats going this year, maybe do a ski day or, you know, some stuff like that to get everyone to actually know, come together and real person go skiing, eh? Oh, exactly, yeah. What a crazy idea.

I didn't think about that.

I'll put you on the invite list. Come down. Yeah. And then. But for me, one of. One of the. It's been really interesting where, where we've lived or where I've lived in Christ, in New Zealand. So when I first moved to New Zealand, I was in Auckland, living in a flat in Auckland with my then girlfriend.

Even like in a block of flats. Did not know anyone else, like did not even see anyone half the time. And then when I moved down to Christchurch and then met my now wife, the first place we lived in, it was only immediately after the earthquakes that suddenly community popped up. And I think that has possibly had an influence on Christchurch because literally all of a sudden people going up and down the street. Are you all right? Are you all right? Do you need any help? Told me to dig your liquefaction out. And so, yeah, and then we've lived in a couple of other. Well, we then moved to Pukakoe post earthquake and that we had. That was pretty cool community because I had a couple of mates living there. So we kind of had like instant pop up community there. But it was, it was a cool small community and then yeah, where we've, we live now in Hallsville in Christchurch. The two subdivisions that we've kind of lived in, the second one, it's actually really well designed for community. There's like a little hub of shops where I just had lunch with my colleague Tamara. So there's a couple of cafes, there's a pub, there's a gym, um, there's a, a dairy and there's a playground. And so when my daughter was at preschool down there, you know, you kind of pick her up from preschool and then there's normally a few other parents with their kids from preschool so you get to know them and then it's kind of built. So yeah, where we are at the minute, it's one of those places where you actually can sort of walk around. Like sometimes it's annoying because I'm trying to take the dog for a walk, I've got half an hour, I need to get home. And you bump into three of your other dog walking fellows that you know and you have a bit of an ata. And next minute it's like right now I'm running late. But yeah, there's, yeah, I just think it's, you know, that part of the problems I think of the economic system that we're in was sort of really built in the 80s and 90s, that kind of Reaganomics, you know. What's his name? Ronald Reagan. Margaret Thatcher. What's the guy here called? Can't remember name. The Prime Minister who was like all about neoliberal stuff. I can't remember his name. Is it Romics?

I want to say a name but then I'll get it wrong because it's not my thing. So I'm not going to knock someone.

Someone can fact check it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's called Roger Nomics here. This, this whole sort of neoliberal economic system. And you know one of the phrases that Margaret Thatcher mentioned is, you know, there's no such thing as society. It's like it's individual, it's all about individual responsibility. It's about you looking after yourself, you doing the best that you can do. And I guess that's like the true conservative message is it's not about government, it's not about handouts or benefits, you know, it's about you doing the best that you can do it. And yes, 100 individual responsibility. But you as an individual are nestled in a society in A community. And we are a social species. So, yeah, I just think we're pretty lucky here. And when my daughter, my daughter's been at the local school here, she's like, I say she's just leaving, but you know, I've mc the quiz night there a couple of times, you know, been involved with the school where I can, you know, and then so you meet the parents, you know, during the holidays. We'll always try and because my wife and I both work for ourselves, it's like, hey, could you take our kid today? We'll take your kid and those two kids that day. So, yeah, just having that sense, you know, it's. It's that corny phrase, it takes a village to raise a child and it, it does. And I think we're just quite lucky here. We've got. Well, I don't know, I guess I can't speak for everyone's experience, but yeah, it just feels like that there is a bit of sense of community here. People do look after each other. I mean, our next door neighbors, they're Afghani. And one day I. The bloody dog, always the dog. I bring the dog back from a walk. And I hadn't really met. They've got, you know, fairly big extended family. And there was. One of the daughters was outside. I was just like, oh, hi. You know, we'd only recently moved in. Hi, you know, how's it going? Having a bit of a chat. Her boyfriend came out. I was like, hey, how's it going? And the next minute a car drives past and just starts abusing them, like, you effing this, like giving them loads of racial abuse. I was like, whoa, okay. And the guy pulled up the road and then came back and I was like. I said to the girlfriend, hey, do you want to just go inside and ring the police? Because I think this has got potential to go beyond this guy just shouting out of his car. Anyway, he kept shouting and he went away. Then he came back again and sort of drove past again. By this point the place had turned up. So, you know, I ended up going to court as a witness to say, well, yeah, this is the guy. You know, I'm. I was standing there and I saw it happened, you know, so just that sense of community. So now we get on really well with them because we've got this shared sort of sense of, you know, and then one of their daughters was actually, she was a couple years older than our daughter. But, you know, just even little things, like some neighbors down the other end of the street were away. They're like, hey, could you put our bins out, you know, so that the burglars don't notice? Yeah, sure. You know, and I. I just don't think you get that in every community. And I think it's a. It's an important part because otherwise you're just you living in your house, driving in your car to go to your cubicle in your office, and it's like, yeah, I just think there's depth that you can get, which people just maybe don't think about so much. I think it's hard, though, because, I mean, look at, like, me. Most of my good friends are still in the uk, so, you know, even if you're just moving from one suburb to another in Christchurch, it's not. It's not always easy because everyone is busy, everyone is, you know, frazzled and. But it's kind of like. I mean, whenever we have moved house, we've typically. We have. We didn't do it here for some reason. I think it's because we're on a street which is like. It's a bit of a main road, so it's not as easy to get across the road. In the previous house we're in, it was in a cul de sac, and we baked some. Well, I say we, the royal. We. My wife and daughter baked some cupcakes and we went around, just knocked on every door, said, hi, we're the new people at number 11, or number five, whatever it was. And then we even. I think it was maybe about six months later, we put it. We said, hey, look, why don't we have a street barbecue? We'll be at our house, you just bring some food. And everyone came along and, you know, at the end of the day, you come home from work, or I work from home. You know, you're in the street, you see your neighbors, you have a bit of a chat, you know, it's like, yeah, we'll look after your kid tomorrow. Yeah, no worries. And there's so much you get out of that, you know, there's so much in it for you.

Yeah, there's a lot to be said for going deep instead of wide. And all the connections that we have and all the relationships that we have as well, because 100%, you know, it's really easy to say, oh, yeah, like, I'm part of this and I'm part of this, but how much are you actually part of it and how much it is a part of you as well? With the chat with your friends. My dad turns 80 this year. And I introduced him to technology a few years ago and we've, we've slowly got up to Facebook and Facebook messenger and he managed to find a friend of his from primary school and now they have this chat where they literally. Funny memes and funny videos. Do not want to see. Oh my God, dad, what are you doing? But, yeah, but it's brought him so much joy, just that connection that. And his friend now lives in Australia so they would never, he would never know where to find him, what to do, but his name popped up and we were able to find him and. Yeah, and it's just, it's beautiful. Those kind of relationships are beautiful.

Yeah, that's what we need. I mean we're, we're, yeah, we're a communal, you know, we're semi advanced monkeys floating on a spinning disc in the middle of multiple universes. You know, we, we need community. We need, you know, for lots reasons, you know, you can't do everything by yourself all the time.

Yeah, yeah. And it brings joy instead of just silo dread. So we'll move into environment. And when we talk about environment around here, we talk about everything. So it can be sustainability, it can be the environment you create around yourself, work environment, home environment, like anything. But with you today, I'm really keen to sort of narrow ourselves into two parts, which is the people that you spend time with and you choose to spend time with and what's going on in our environment in terms of the marketing that we see and the slogans that we hear and things pop up on every street corner. So talk to us about the environment that you try to create in order to thrive.

Yep. So, yeah, because I had this deep seated need for approval. I like working from home by myself because when I'm in a co working space or an office, it's like, oh, should we go for a cup of tea? Yeah, sure does. Yeah, let's go. Any excuse to be social and not do work. Yeah, sign me up. So, yeah, high five on that one. Yeah. So that's why, you know, I've kind of worked out that in terms of my work environment, working from home, where I don't have to, I just. Commuting just blows my mind. Like the few times when people are like, oh, can we meet at half eight or nine o'clock in town? No.

Don'T put me through your misery. No, just.

No, I'm going to stop.

Yeah, you know, so, yeah, so that's why I like working from home. I can ease into my morning, I can Go and take a dog for a walk. I can, you know, listen to a podcast. I can make breakfast. No stress, no rush, no sitting in a car for 45 minutes when it should be like a 15 minute drive into town. If you're going to drive. Yeah. So I kind of have curated my environment here in the office. I've got loads of, like, motivational things in front of me. I've got my big Welsh dragon here. I've got some pictures of me, you know, delivering events and. And some other, you know, bits and bobs. Yeah. So that I'm kind of, you know, subconsciously looking at them. Try and. Try and keep my office as clean, you know, and clutter free as possible. But I'm fundamentally one of those ideas people. So there's scraps, paper and. Yeah. Bits that it's like, okay, like, get them into the notebook. Get them into the notebook. So, yeah, in terms of that environment, I guess, you know, I get a lot of human connection digitally. You know, we've got clients all over the world, so that's cool. But it was interesting. I went into. Was it yesterday? No, day before yesterday. So tomorrow, a colleague of mine, we went into town for a couple of meetings and she was, at the end of the day, she was like, how many people do you know in Christchurch? Because literally every cafe we went into, oh, hi. Hey, how's it going? She's like, bloody hell. She's like, you need to get into town more. Because, like, there's all the incidental meetings. Like, yeah, no, like, I get that. But that's also the problem is you get distracted and I see all these people, you know, and if with your ruthless kind of business hat on, it's like, they're not going to work with me. Like, I need to be on the zoom call with the client who is paying me money right now. So it's an interesting. So maybe, you know, the compromise is like one day a month or once a fortnight, it's like we just book a day in town, roam around the usual cafes and say hi to some people that I don't just advertise it.

Be like, Tim Jones will be.

Yeah, one day only.

One Friday of every month.

Yeah. Well, it's not a bad idea. Yeah. Because we were talking yesterday, you know, within the B Corp community, myself and a couple of others locally, we. We run a thing called Be Local, which is an opportunity for people, for. For the B Corp community, people on the journey and people who are just like, what is a B Corp? We run events and Come along. And I was sort of saying, well, maybe we just need to do like one Friday of the month. It's like we're in this publisher from five o', clock. So you just kind of know. So maybe I just do that. Pick that day. Yeah, that's my town day. Yeah, Nice idea. Thank you.

Yeah. People will come, right?

They will, yeah. If you build it, they will come. Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams.

Showing our age.

Sorry, I was talking to a group of students from Minnesota the other day. They, they were doing a study tour in Canterbury and the Regional Economic Development Agency were like, hey, would you be able to come and give a talk to them on B Corp? Because they're studying kind of, you know, impact and purpose as part of their overall programs. Like, yeah, sure, can give a talk to them. And I was like, you drop in some, you know, most of my workshop clients or clients are sort of, you know, middle aged, ish. Or you know, someone in the leadership team is sort of our age. And you forget like these, these kids are like 18. You go, you've got no idea who I'm talking about, do you? I was like, I was like. So I, I sort of portray, I said, so when I was at university, I was like, okay, I should back it up. Do any of you know who Princess Diana was? And there was a few sort of going, okay, right, well she was alive when I was at university. It's like, you know, trying to think of something. It's like, I think Bill Clinton was your president when I was in a bit. Like, do you know him? And they were like, yeah, I think I've heard of him.

Oh my. I work with two 20ish year olds and they never know what I'm talking about. And so I, I'll start and I'm going, hold on a minute, have you even seen this? I'll be like, what?

Yeah, let me just, I'll send you the link on YouTube. Yeah, yeah.

More often than not now they, they'll like, Emily who works here will say to me, remember, you could be my mum.

Stop it, stop it.

Cut that out. I'm 37.

I'm not that old. Yeah, very young mother.

So I imagine you have some pretty strong values.

How do you take those values and make them non negotiables in any environment? Because often it can be fading and people can be this way in one environment, but this way in another. So how do you.

Intense, intense amounts of deep personal development work to work out who you actually are? Because that's the thing. Otherwise you know, you will. You will change and compromise and be who you need to be in. And I think, you know, in terms of, like, individual purpose, work, that that's where a lot of people are struggling. You know, they are work Tim and then their friends Tim. And then their home Tim. Yeah, it's like, well, why are they different? Why is it that you would have this conversation as a friend, but you wouldn't have that conversation with your boss and your wife doesn't even know that you think about that. It's like, that's. You can't hold that. Yeah, it's that, you know, I call it the. Well, I think it comes from Vedic kind of scripture stuff or Buddhism. It's like, you know, head, heart, hand, alignment, what you think, what you feel and what you do. Like, if they're not in alignment, that catches up to you. And again, I think there's a lot of people. So I do. I do have a pretty clear idea of who I am, what my values are, what I think is, you know, right or wrong. But equally, there is a lot of gray and nuance, you know, and everyone's on the journey, everyone's fundamentally. I like to think most people are trying to do the best that they can with what they've got. Some people, I do doubt that, actually. No, you really just don't give. Give a damn, do you? You really are just here for yourself. So, Yeah, I think in general, with that in mind. Yeah, I mean, essentially, you know, from a work perspective, over the years, you know, seven years in business, there's been a couple of clients where I'm like, ideally, I wouldn't like to do work with you, but I have to pay the mortgage next month and if I don't pay the mortgage next month, I have to go get a job, which means I don't get to do any of my work, which I think is benefiting Planet People and society. So, you know, there's tensions within that, but I think it's doing it knowingly as opposed to sort of blindly. Yeah, yeah. Sort of following your whim or. Yeah. Not even knowing that you don't. You know, it's almost like the cognitive dissonance. Like, my mum's a great example of this. She'll. She'll go, oh, you know, went to the warehouse and, you know, everything's made in China, everything's made in China. And it's like, well, well, everything there is. But you could go and buy an artisan cup and it's like, yeah. Oh, but they're so expensive. Okay, right. Well, you can't hold, you know, both those to kind of be true. You either want cheap or you want made locally. Typically there's a, you know, what is it? You know, you can have it on time, on cost or. Yeah, what's that? That triangle? Yeah, it's like, you know, so just get, you know, kind of get it into your consciousness that you're not going to get, that you're not in tip. Probably not going to get cheap and good value or well made. So just be cool with that and therefore stop complaining about it.

Yeah.

And I think there's a lot of people walking around in this state of cognitive dissonance where they say saying one thing but deep, deep down they know that they don't actually believe it. Yeah. And I think if we could have like a Men in Black style and just get everyone to how many times actually, actually be who you should be and stop mucking around here. Yeah. It would solve quite a lot of problems in the world.

Yeah. I am. I read Brene Brown's Dear to Lead a couple of years ago and in there it challenges your values, obviously, because I used to be like, oh yeah, and this is important to me and this is important to me and this is important to me and this is important to me and this is important to me and counting on my feet, this is important to me. But if you said to me what are your values? I'd be like, I'm not sure because I hadn't really, really dug into what they are, what they mean to me and what is absolutely non negotiable anywhere I go. And so I worked on it and I narrowed it to two. And then I went to my husband, I was like, what do you reckon my two would be? And he was integrity and caring. I think he said for me, nice. No and note. And he goes, really? And I go, well there. I wish integrity was like the non negotiable one. But there are environments I've been in where I haven't spoken up when I should have. And so I can't say that, not like absolutely anywhere. It's a work on it, I'd love it. But it's not. So my two connection and usefulness. Any environment I'm in, I want to be useful. If I'm sitting there, blank face at a table being absolutely useless, what am I doing here? Am I, am I impacting this positively in any way? No, I'm in the wrong place. And if I'm not connecting, if I'm sitting there And I feel alone or if I feel like disrespected or you know, whatever it is that makes me start to close in and be my introverted self, then what's going on? And am I getting to the project? Am I connected to the people, am I kicking to myself? But this year I've added a third, confident that my third is there, it's on point and I can't, it's non negotiable. Anywhere is making a difference because that's non negotiable. Wherever I am, that's what I want to do. And that's. And so now that starts to come back into integrity. If I don't say something, am I making a difference? No.

Yep.

Start standing up and have the difficult conversations when they're.

Yep.

Not not great humans. Just not great humans. Not doing the right thing at the right time.

Yeah, and that's tough. You know, it's, it's. I think it's tough for most humans to stand up and point stuff unless, unless you've got that type of personality type that's just like, I just don't care. Yeah. But yeah, I think for a lot of people it's hard to do. But that's where, you know, in, in that.

You know, in that tough. In that hard part. That's where the growth is. That's where the, that's where the learning and once you've done it once you know, it's like, oh, okay, actually no one has died. No one's throwing a rock at me. There are no spears being thrown. Actually, that wasn't. And actually the other person's recognized the truth here. I think that's, that's something that's really sitting in my mind is I think there's a whole, it's seemingly. There's a whole lot of things have been going on globally. There's a whole, this whole chat GPT thing, you know, you across that. I just think truth in 2023 is going to be harder to actually get to. I don't think we're going to know what is what. And I think that is. I don't know whether we are existentially ready for that as a species. It's like it's been harder to know actually what is the truth even though we've got Google and what have you at our disposal. But you know, the whole Russian bots, you know, you look at elections done recently with that Cambridge Analytica. It's like you don't know. You just don't know anymore. And that is I think it is quite scary. I think it's kind of like. Which maybe brings back to community. It's like actually having that deep connection with someone that you can absolutely trust and you know that they are not lying. Yeah. I was also reflecting. I don't know. It's the bloody history. Historian, historian, history degree. So in the Industrial Revolution there was a group of people in England called the Luddites and they would go around destroying, you know, the. The industrial machines. You do just wonder whether there is going to be like some Neo Luddites who are like, actually we're going to go and find chat GBT and we're unplugging it from the Matrix. We are going to go and find Google and unplug Google from the Matrix so that you actually, you know, and whether they'd be successful or not. I don't know. I kind of get the impression there's a growing, A growing awareness that, yeah, technology is not necessarily always used in our own best interests by ourselves or by other people, like the social dilemma and all of that kind of stuff. So. Yeah. Are we going to see. Yeah. Just kind of feels like we're at a real crossroads of either complete digital and obviously Elon with his neural link. Plug it into your head. It's like I. There's a lot of people actually don't want to know what's going on in their head, to be honest. They'd be probably. Probably the world shouldn't know.

Yeah.

So yeah, I think that's. That's completely off track there. But I suppose it is about environment to a degree, isn't it? It's like know the digital environment versus an analog. Yep.

And it, and it links really well into the last part of the environment that we're going to talk about, which is like blocking out the noise and a how to, you know, and it's back to that sort of thing, you know, marketing on every corner and a billboard here and all these slogans that we're hearing. How do you block out the noise? And it links really well to that as well.

Yeah. So I'm pretty sure the word slogan used to mean battle cry. I'm just gonna Google that while we're right on here. So, you know, you are being hit with these. Yeah. So origin is a Scottish Highland war cry. Yeah. So the slogan is a war cry that a group is shouting at you to basically get you to do what they want to do. Which is quite interesting when you sort of again, you sort of break it down.

Yeah. It just again Having, having gone through the psychology of how to sell to people and being a salesperson and you know, as part of some of the training we deliver, we help people understand this and work out like, but use it as a force for good, you know, the psychology of messaging and marketing and selling. But it just, it does just annoy me when you're driving around or walking around and it's just billboard, billboard, billboard, and there's just another billboard and then you can't even go to the. I don't know what it's like in the ladies, but in a gent's toilet in front of the urinal sign. Yeah. It's like I can't even take a piss without you trying to sell me something.

Prime marketing space.

Well, I get it, I totally get it. But it's like really, like you can't even just have a five minutes peace and quiet, go to the bathroom.

Yeah, it just, it just breaks your heart a little bit that, you know, again, we, we're supposedly this hugely advanced species that's in charge of the world and you know, we're the ones that theoretically have this consciousness and even the Internet to a degree, like, you know, all we, all we use it for is try and get people to buy shit that they possibly don't need. Yeah. So the whole advertising stuff is really interesting. I feel like I'm pretty immune to it in general. I, it doesn't mean I don't get captured by it. The ones I'm more captured by and this the reason why is because scarcity is the number one psychological tool that will get someone to do something. So that's why, you know when you're looking to buy something and they'll say there's only two left at this price, you will possibly just buy it and work out how to return it. Yeah, yeah. So I do get caught mainly with that scarcity because you think, well, I actually do need it. And maybe I went. But you kind of know that actually deep down there will be more of it. Yeah. But so in general I try and look at advertising and actually see it for what it is. One of my favorite ones, it's a few years ago now, it was at Christchurch Airport and it was a picture of a BMW 7 Series on some beautiful, you know, alpine road and you know, northern France or Italy or Southern France or northern Italy. And it had, you know, a guy in his sort of late 40s, early 50s, you know, chiseled, you know, suit, you know, boss, Hugo Boss suit. And it just had the slogan was Just success driven. And I'm like, oh my gosh. Like you have just nailed it. Because it's saying if you drive this car then you are successful. If you're looking to be this successful, you need to be driven to be able to get this. It's like, like your ad agency have just. And you're. It's the demographic, it's like you've sold it. And I just, I just looked at it, I was like, oh my gosh. Like I could see that if I was not as mentally robust to be able to see this. And I, and I saw that message a few times. I possibly go and buy a BMW.

Yeah.

And that's like what, 150, 200K thing that you can buy easy. And yes, I like to feel that I'm pretty immune to it.

Yeah.

And I just think because I can't remember the name of the movie, it was, I think it was a movie South. It's on YouTube. I'll see if I can find it for the show. Note. Show notes working. It's these people that they did like a history of. It was like a history of graffiti and street art. And at the end of it, these local graffiti artists were sort of saying how, you know, part of what they were saying is, you know, as graffiti and I mean like good graffiti artists, not some 12 year old tagging it, you know, with some stupid thing like really, really good art. And they were sort of saying, you know, graffiti and graffiti artists have always been edgy. It's been, they've been looking for those areas of town where it is a little bit on the edge of gentrification. It's the artist quarter. But you know, they're not, they can be like amazing. And what he was sort of saying was, you know, why should this be illegal when this billboard which is in front of my house is totally legal and it's shit. It's like a really rubbish picture of something that I don't want to buy. And so they, they were going around graffiti on the advertising boards and making. And a mate of mine actually just sent me a link today in the Guardian. I think it's in the uk so climb activists are now tagging. It was Toyota and Volkswagen.

Billboards and they're changing them from sort of like, you know, buy our car. It's great to like, no, this is still a gas guzzler. You shouldn't be buying this car. So yeah, I just think it's interesting how you have no say in what is put in front of your eyes. And they know how that messaging works. And if you're not aware, if you're not conscious of what's being put in front of you, it works. You know, when I last checked the number, it was a few years ago, but it's about $500 billion a year is spent globally by the advertising and marketing industry. They're not doing it for your good, they're doing it to sell however many more billions of dollars of products to you. Yeah. So I just think, like I say, one of the cats out of the bag. Now if someone sees this in a few years I've had this dream. Well, there's. Someone's already done it. I think it's been done in the us Some people will buy up a billboard and they take a picture of the scene that is behind the billboard and they put that on the billboard. I think that's beautiful. So I'd like to, I'd like to get a group of people who want to do that in New Zealand or the other one would be to just start buying up some billboard space and with no advertising for me on it. Just have like call a friend or go home early today and spend time with your kids or you know, go for a beer with your best mate or go for a walk. Just put a load of slogans with no, like don't go buy anything. Just go do something that's good for you. You know, pull over at the next lay by and meditate for five minutes. Just, just don't buy anything.

Yeah, yeah. Let's, let's hook up you and make it happen. Media works and stuff. Yeah, billboards and let's see what could.

Happen, see what they can do. Yeah. They might be like money in this.

It's not all sold that they could just.

Exactly.

Yeah, it'd be brilliant.

That's my theory.

Be like add, add. Go do something good for you.

Works. So we'll move into our last part which is what we call portion distortion and we. I genuinely don't think it matters if you're a man, if you're a woman, if you are in your 20s, if you're in your 50s, if you've got kids, don't if you're in corporate world, if you're not. Time is our biggest connector almost of, of our challenges. And no, we don't all have the same challenges with time, but we do still have challenges with time.

Yeah.

So talk to us about some of the challenges you've faced with time and. Yeah. How you've dealt with those.

Yeah. Like as I sort of probably articulated. I'm.

Well, I've been working with this framework. A mate of mine, Adam, he's a, he's a coach for this thing called eos. I don't know if you heard of that. Entrepreneur's operating system. So a way for sort of smaller business owners to start operationalizing work, get some systemization kind of going. And in it they, they say like, look, look into your business and who is the visionary and who is like the implementer. And I clearly met all the criteria for the visionary. Like lots of ideas, connections, you know, high value discussions. Like that's me. So time and discipline around time getting things done. Like that's, that's not my, that's not my strength, but I know that and I'm kind of cool with that. And I'm working on a plan around that. So I've looked. So I've got Tamara, who's just started working for me. She's slightly better on getting stuff done like that. The next plan is to actually get, you know, a VA or an EA of some description who's like, actually you tell me what to do, not I'm telling you what to do because I kind of, I need that structure.

One thing I find really useful is so Mondays and Fridays, I, I typically do not let clients into me on a Monday or a Friday because it just gives me that breathing space. So Monday theoretically is like my admin day and then Friday is like a creation day. So podcasts, things like this, trying to do stuff within our own community. So definitely time blocking because if you don't block it out, it gets filled and even when it is blocked out, it gets filled because some people like, oh, we only, we only work on a Monday. Yeah, yeah, of course you do. Yeah. So definitely try to time block. I did use, is it, what's it called, the pomodero technique where you do like you set a timer for like 60 minutes or 55 minutes, then you do a five minute break. I, I tend to just get stuck into something and I'd rather just like do it and then break. Do it then break. So yeah, I'm still pretty loose as a goose around some of that stuff. But it's, you know, it's that I think it's the challenge for that create for the creative visionary type people is sometimes you get captured by the thing and you just have to go with it and you can't just put it into the. I'm going to do that from 9 to 9:50 every day. Yeah. So it's trying to balance that. Like, there's two books I want to write this year. There's a couple of retreats we want to run. There's a conference we'd maybe like to pull off. Like, that's a. There's a lot of things we want to try and do this year. We're just trying to work out what actually, like. No, because again, it's like, you know, indefatigable. Yes. But don't die. So, yeah, just being realistic around what you can achieve and then trying to just things like, you know, with the book. I spent pretty much this last weekend trying to really get my head into it and work out. Work out the structure and got, you know, a fair bit of content in there. But it's like that's. It's going to take way longer than I thought. And so the smart thing would be to go right, once a day, I just open it up and spend 20 minutes just writing another piece. I need to. I need to get better at doing that. I'm probably not giving any advice here for anyone who's like me. You get it, you're all good.

It's nice that it's not like I do this, this and this, and I'm efficient, I'm amazing. Like, it's real, you know?

Yes.

I'm giving it a try. And some things have worked, some things haven't. I tried that time. I think I'd stop at 50 minutes and then have 10 minutes of like. And that doesn't work for me. But two hours later, I just need to finish what I'm doing. I don't do well coming away and then coming back.

Yeah.

But this year, what we found, because our team are very similar, we've got heaps we want to achieve, but it's a small team who want to have a big impact. And it's how, you know, how do you eat an elephant one bit by the time thing. So we've done the whole quarter thing this year. Q2, Q3, Q4. What's the one big thing?

Yeah, the big rock.

One big, you know. So, like, we want to do a conference also in Q4. So it means that we know that's really the giant, you know, thing we're going. And that's going to take some work. That's what it's in Q4Y. And then there's some big things, but still not nearly as big as that in terms of the big thing to do. And then we've each got our key strategy, things that we're doing within that as well. So it seems to have helped even me going okay, cool. So I need to start working on that in March, not right now.

Yeah. I'm trying to see if I got it principal that this was a bit of a revelation to me the other day. So it's like a linear calendar.

Yeah.

And I, I've not really ever seen a linear calendar before.

No.

And for me visually that works really well because I can. So it's on my list for this weekend is to start putting in some of the big rocks in here because that I can kind of go oh actually that's coming up like really quickly or. Yeah, okay. Yeah. So I'm trying to get that. I need to get it done like a three so I can put it on the wall.

Yeah.

But yeah, that, that to me was a bit of a revelation that you can get a calendar in that rather than, you know, like the traditional layout. So yeah, that's my plan is to start putting in. Yeah. Like some of the big rocks. Like okay, we'll call it one. Yeah. The big focus is this.

Yeah.

And then. Yeah. Because otherwise you drift and you get distracted and there's, you know, it's kind of Magpie syndrome. It's shiny.

What was they doing? Oh, well. But my, my biggest thing, my biggest learning has been that I write myself a to do list. It's a giant to do list. But I think I have to do everything on the list but I don't. And then I would be wasting time finishing this list when there's this big thing that needs to get sorted out. But I would instead of going to that thing that was really important. Oh no, it's important that I finish this document that no one's going to look at. So that's really important for me too. So now I write down weekly three outcomes that I want by the end of the week and then I've got the strategic priorities that I'm particularly working on. So every week I'm working towards those instead of kind of forgetting about them during the day to day. Big giant to do lists. Yes. So that's been really, really helpful.

My mate Matt, he sent me a great meme on one of the WhatsApp groups. It says I do not have ducks or a row. I have squirrels and they're at a rave.

Yeah.

You have won the Internet for 2022 as far as I'm concerned. It's like that.

It sums up my life in my diary because it's exactly what it feels like.

Nice. I need to print that off and put it somewhere because it's like I was like rolling on the floo.

So to finish this round, why is it so important to do things and prioritize doing things that bring you joy?

That's a great question.

And yeah, it's, it's so I think with the whole time thing, you know, it links to the, it links to purpose as well. So the whole idea of like a flow state, so, you know, flow is that if you've got like the graph like that, it's kind of how hard it is and how good you are doing it. And a state of flow is when you're pushing yourself where it's just harder. It's kind of like a video game. If it's too hard, you quit. If it's too easy, you can't be bothered. So you need something where, you know, the end of level baddie is just challenging that it maybe takes you three or four goes, but then you get through it and then you kind of up to the next level. So from a purpose perspective, having joy and a state of flow in what you're doing on the day to day is critical because you're going to spend like, what is it, 80,000 hours at work across your life. And if you. I always pick on accountants because I'm rubbish with numbers. But let's say if, you know, if you've fallen into being an accountant and you absolutely hate being an accountant and you just wanted to be a nurse.

You need to have a real think about that. Because if you don't have that joy in the work that you're doing, you're just not going to be a good human and to anyone around you and you're going to hate your life and it's going to end miserably. So I think there's finding joy in the day to day and as much as you can, because there's always going to be some things that you don't want to do, but you have to do it. That's okay. But yeah, again, I think, you know, joy, I guess there's sort of two parts of it. Joy would just be like, you know, having some good times, you know, with friends or family. But also, you know, I guess it's called restorative flow. So doing activities that aren't necessarily, you know, part of your job. For me, it's skiing in the winter. And just like skiing, you're in the mountains, it's blue skies, it's crisp and all you can think about is the next turn. You're gonna do. It's like that gives me so much joy. And my wife just, she doesn't ski, she doesn't like the culture, she doesn't get it. And I'm like, you have no idea how much I need to go skiing. It's, it's like it's not kind of like if there's some snow maybe I'd go. It's like, yeah, if there's no snow I'll probably go and give it a go because I just need to do this. So yeah, I think it's just trying to get really clear on what does give you joy making that time for it. So yeah, during the winter, you know, it's kind of like I typically try and keep one day during the week where I can go for a midweek ski. There's a couple of other guys and girls we know who are self employed or who've got pretty relaxed employment relationships. And it's like, yep, it's looking good on Wednesday. Great, let's go. So yeah, just I think, yeah, again, hanging out, good times with people. Skiing is a big one for me. Yeah. I also do like alone time. You know, I am traditionally what you call, well people probably have gathered from listening to this, you know, a fairly extroverted human. But actually I, I think I'm more of what's called an ambivert. So I can be an introvert, I can be an extrovert and actually for quite. Because I do a lot of this kind of stuff. Like so yesterday I did like, you know, 160 minute and then 12 hour block of B Corp consulting. And by the end of that I was like, I was wiped out. But I don't want to see a human tonight, but I just want to go and sit on the couch and do nothing. So. And it's okay, you know, and sometimes I quite often I'll sort of say to the family, oh, does any, anyone want to come for a dog walk with me? And they'll be like, no. And I'm like, actually that's quite nice. Yeah, yeah, I get to go by myself.

And I don't feel bad for that. Yeah.

I love it. Well, you know I was talking to you before we started recording about my spinning wheel. Yeah, those are all my things. Not necessarily goals, but just things I want to do in 2023. And one is time to wander. So just fine that I'm not going when I get back to this. And I'm going to this. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to call this person. It's just so I've achieved it a few times so far in January, which is great. Well, may it continue. But. But yeah, consciously. So when I'm doing my weekly plans, I'm looking at this wheel as well. So I just look at my work calls, I look at this stuff as.

Well and going, yeah.

Am I spending time with the kids? Am I connecting to people, you know?

Yeah. Because it's easy to lose it in. In the busyness of busyness. Yeah.

And then, you know, and when you. That's why I've done it, because I love joy. I want to laugh.

What a crazy idea.

Single day.

Yeah.

You know, belly laugh, belly laughs, music, moving. Seeing my kids, it all brings joy. But if you're running around like headless chicken or squirrels at a rave, you know.

They are enjoying themselves.

We should go to a rave one time dressed as squirrels.

I'm coming to Christchurch in a few weeks.

Wait for the updates of this podcast. Live streaming.

With your background. Yeah, your disco. You've nailed it.

There we go.

Enjoy.

All right, I have some quick fire questions to roll us out of this today.

What are your three favorite smells?

Obviously, squirrels are the rave.

Can you imagine the smell of a room for squirrels that have been raving? Yeah.

This is actually the hardest of the quick fire questions. I think like a good roast dinner. That's a smell that everyone loves. I was trying to think, is there a smell of skiing? I guess there kind of is when you're in like that smell of the snow and I can't, I couldn't describe it for you.

Yeah. And then I was really stuck. I couldn't really think of a third one. I guess the cheesy one would be, you know, like the smell of my daughter's hair or you know, something nice like that, you know. But then if you ask me to write it down and describe it, I can tell you what it was. But I know when she's having a snuggle.

It's nice that that particular one. This is not quick for. I'll get grounded for this for later when they edit this. But that is like the contentious thing. So some people say they love the smell of their kids head and I'm one of them. And others are like, oh.

How could you enjoy that? And they're like, that's so weird. You smell your kids. My kids.

Maybe it says more about how often their kids wash.

Oh, now I have a nine year old and it doesn't really matter how much he washes. It's a bit different now.

Boys, for.

You, we just smell it.

What are your favorite books?

So my all time favorite book is the Count of Monte Cristo. Have you seen the movie or read it?

It's in the movie.

Yeah, it's just, it's like I don't even know why or how I came across it. But it's just one of those books that you just go, man, this is like a proper epic story. So for those of you don't know, it's about this guy who's falsely imprisoned and eventually gets out of prison and then goes on a trail of like vengeance and retribution to find all the people that led him to get into prison. And how he does it is like really phenomenal. It's just like, I don't know, it just kind of really captured me as like a story. Other than that I've got one of the books I've got around me, I guess like Man's Search for Meaning. Victor Frankl, I suppose that's kind of up there. There's a book up there on my shelf called. What's it called? I think it's called A More Beautiful Question and it's. It's about how do you to be curious and challenge things? Like the way you do that is by coming up with the best question. And I read that first when I was in sales and yeah, having that like trying to. What is the best question I can ask to get what I want, you know, help the client get what they need. Yeah, that's be quite a good one. Yeah. I've been a bit slack on books recently. I use, I do a lot of. I listen to a YouTube video while I'm walking or a Spotify, you know, podcast. Yeah, probably do need to get back. I've got. There's a Japanese word which describes the books that you own that you won't read.

It's like there's just loads of them. There's here on the corner of my desk on my bookshelf here. Yeah, yeah. That's the problem, isn't it? Please make the time.

I. I read 20 books in 2022 and I'm not a reader so I'm incredibly.

That's solid work.

Proud of myself and now I'm a reader. So I've said 25 this year. What's your go to dish to cook?

Up until recently it would have been a cheese omelette because that's what I had for my breakfast pretty much every day for probably, I don't know since I can remember the last five years. But I'm I'm on this no dairy diet at the minute, so I've. I've just been having scrambled eggs. But yeah, cheese omelette, nice and easy. If not, it would possibly be some kind of. I do quite like ribs. Ribs, chips and coleslaw. Can't go wrong with that, can you?

Sidebarry intolerant. So you can make a beautiful omelette. Get some almond milk, unsweetened.

Okay.

Almond milk, the green label. And get some anchor lactose. I know you want dairy free, so get some dairy free cheese at the supermarket. Probably the mozzarella would be quite nice. And omelette.

We've. We've got something to try, but I'm. I'm like really being hardcore on this diet so I figured that's cheating even having. Oh no.

The plant based ones. The plant based ones. 100% plant based. It's not.

All right, I'll give it go tomorrow.

Or you can use a powder. I'll come back to you on that one. Anyhow, what world record do you think you have a shot at breaking?

That is a really. That was another tough one. Possibly something about being tall, although not that tall really in the scheme of things. Hopefully ultimately one day helping the most number of companies become B Corp certified. I reckon that would be a pretty cool one. To get this guy in the UK who does what I do and he's already ahead of me. So I've got to raise my game.

It's a great goal to have.

I think it'll be up there.

Yeah. What is your Go to Pick Me up song?

I love a lot of music, but as a mate of mine at university said, he said Welsh people seem to have a little switch in the back of their heads. And when A Thousand Trees by the Stereophonics comes on, it's like you will turn into a bunch of lunatics.

That is just one song that really, you know, from university. It's just. Yeah, there's that one. And of course there's Mr. Jones by the counting quote bank of them. Thankfully their concerts coming up here in Christchurch. I'm going to go to the concert with a T shirt that says Mr. Jones and I'm gonna get one for my wife which has got and me written on it and see if anyone gets the lyrical reference.

If they don't, I will cry on your behalf.

Yeah, you should not be at this concert.

What is the best piece of advice that you've heard?

So this was from a. A guy called Gary. I think it was Gary Butterfield, a guy who so when I lived in Australia for a year, left the uk, went to Australia for a year, went back to the UK for a year, ended up in New Zealand. And I was kind of drifting around a little bit, kind of doing like a bit of an OE type thing. And I ended up living with an Australian family and he was friends of the dad of the family that I was living with. And his piece of advice to me was, keep, Keep smiling, keep reaching out, shaking hands and saying, good day and good things will come your way. And I'm like, yeah, can't disagree with that. And it's kind of. I guess it loops back to what we say at the beginning. Like, you don't know. If you don't ask, you don't know. It's like just, hi, how's it going? I'm Tim. How are you? You know, it's a great way to.

Start and it doesn't have to be flash. Amazing, you know, advice. That's. That's the amazing. That's human. Yeah.

Yeah. Just like say good day.

Yeah.

Connect with another human, say good day. How's it going?

Yeah.

And you'll be surprised what comes out of just a little conversation.

Yeah. We being in Cross shoot. You must see him. We interviewed Jason Gun last year.

Yep.

And he said the same. It would just be in a coffee shop. And he just offered to pay for someone's coffee.

Yeah.

And it's just. He said a. I brighten their day. And it's a touch point and it's, hey, hey. You know. But often there's another little story that might pop out of something that's going on in their life or, you know, whatever it is. And I think that's just. So. It's just easy. It's easy.

Yeah. He drives past my house, standing at.

The queue and not talking to anyone, just, you know.

Yeah. I think, I think it's. I think it is a bit of a Welsh thing. Like, there's a lot of Welsh people. I know, and we will. But I'll. I'll have a. Instead of like a. A rubbish conversation, like, you know, with a shop assistant. Like, I'll actually try and have a. How's your day going? What's been the most random customer you've had today? And I don't know whether it's also like the salesperson in me. Like, I. I just want to have rapport and build connection with people. But, yeah, there's a lot of Welsh people I know that you'd have a conversation with. With a stranger at the bus stop, it's just like. I think there is an element of that with it. The Welsh, we're interested much. We like connection and community equally. We can be quite standoffish. But I think in general there's something in it about just having connection and conversation with a random punter.

Yeah.

You don't know what you might get. And in New Zealand you typically find out that you're related.

How many degrees of separation here in point 1.

What's your biggest learning from parenting?

When you are fighting with your child, you're fighting with yourself.

So it's classic shadow projection, Jungian psychology. The thing that you don't like in your childhood is the thing that you don't like in you. But it's easier to shout at your child and tell them off for not tidying up when deep down you know that you don't tidy up anyway.

That's so true. It pierced me in the heart, but I feel seen.

I've triggered you. Yes.

Qualities you love about yourself.

So I think, yeah, we talked about indefatigable. I think I'd bring a lot of energy to situations. I like to think I'm a bit curious, a little bit, A little bit mischievous. I kind of, you know, we like to bring, you know, raving squirrels. We like to bring a little bit of. Bit of that into what we do. Yeah. I think that about sum me up.

Epic and epic that you didn't just start because most people, we are so like, oh, I don't know if there's much to like, you know, I don't know. And I always go look at the.

Size of his head.

Yeah. But you know, like, it's, it's wonderful. It's great that you, you know, your strength and you know, you know, that's awes and I'm sure there's heaps more too, so. But thank you so much, Tim. This has been absolutely epic and I can't wait to share this with other humans because I think there's a lot to learn in here. So thank you so much for watching today. Let us know what you think, let us know your biggest learnings. Please share it with somebody else that you know will enjoy it and check out some of the other videos on our website from all the other amazing humans that give us their time and share their wellbeing journeys and yeah, we'll see you again next time.