COVID19 & Your Mental Health

Alright, it is now live, I think. I don't know how to do this. Okay, so it is 4:32 and I'm gonna get this Facebook Live started. I just wanted to prep this by saying I know that the coronavirus is affecting different people in a whole lot of different ways, and I am not here to provide tangible solutions. Whether you are a server and you are currently not able to make tips, whether you are working in a school and you're home or you're quarantined with kids, I absolutely do not have any solutions on a tangible financial basis. I'm here solely to answer some questions, provide some coping skills and tools, and hopefully help anyone and also show you that there's a community of people that are in this together even from home. So, so far we have 3 people watching, which is great. Hi Susie, hi Eddie, and hi Mr. Bright, my high school teacher from college— or high school. And I wanted to talk about some of the ways that we can get grounded and feel a semblance of peace and feel okay during this time. So, so far just with the people that are currently in here, Where are you? Are you quarantined? Are you self-quarantined? Are you home? Are you with kids? What's going on? Let's get some participation so I can just get a feel for where you're all at. So you can type now. There's also a lag, so if it takes a couple seconds for me to respond, it's because it's going to take some time for your responses to come up on here, if you're typing anything. All right, in Connecticut with my family, they're home from work and school but I'm still working. So that is one person. Home trying to stay a distance from others when I can. So social distancing. And a lot of times this can be something that feels really normal. I mean, for me, I'm an introverted extrovert, which means I do well in social situations but I prefer I prefer being by myself or home or with a dog. I prefer being a homebody. It's just what I like. So this is actually really comfortable for me in terms of day-to-day life stuff. But for some people who are extroverted and really thrive off of connection and social interaction, this is a really difficult time. And there's also the people that are home with their kids. And I personally don't have kids and I don't know what that's like, but it can be really easy to lose yourself and feel like your whole life and world is about keeping the little ones occupied or engaged. So there's also people who are working from home. I am working from home providing teletherapy. And so it's tough. It's like we all have different jobs, but we're also all affected financially in different ways. And so the first thing I wanted to talk about was how to deal with your own anxiety in addition to dealing with other people's anxieties or hysteria or panic. And so So far everyone that's in here is on Facebook. That's how you got ahold of this. Everyone on here is on social media. And one thing that I've been hearing a lot about is people's frustrations with how other people are handling this. Whether it's people who are going out to bars and posting about it, or, you know, standing in long lines and not practicing social distancing. Or there's people who feel as though this really isn't a big deal at all. And everyone needs to just calm down. And so I really wanted to address having empathy and compassion for other people while also creating space to have empathy and compassion for ourselves. So I personally, I've been sick for the last couple of days. I'm not immunocompromised. I do not have the coronavirus. I do not have the flu. I had tonsillitis and a bad cold. And so I'm really privileged here, but just because I am healthy and young does not mean that I should be going and putting other people at risk who are immunocompromised. And so what I've been seeing on social media are a lot of opinions, and a lot of those opinions have very little love and tolerance and patience and compassion for other people. And so if you're scrolling through social media and you are looking at people's opinions, it's just like during an election or during any other kind of experience, although this pandemic is unprecedented, especially with social media, it's really difficult sometimes to be bombarded with different people's opinions, especially when we may view those opinions as completely incorrect or ignorant. And I know for me, one thing that I really struggle with is— this, these are sweatpants. One thing that I really struggle with is maintaining a sense of sanity when I'm looking at people's posts that I think are just ridiculous. And so one really helpful hint among or amidst this time is to allot some time off of social media. And I know a lot of different websites, Instagram accounts, Facebook accounts have been saying that, but it's true. If we give ourselves permission to just put the phone down for a period of time, um, it can be like a breath of fresh air. I know for me, because I want to get information, which I do via social media, I want to stay connected with people even though it feels really, uh, disconnected— disconnecting when you're just watching people's highlight reels on social media. I'm also just curious to see how people are responding, but the more that I scroll on social media, the more I can feel myself losing patience, love, tolerance, compassion, and sanity. And instead of just blocking people left and right, I keep looking. It's like a train wreck that I don't want to look away from. And I don't know about you, but that does not help my mental health. So pausing on that for a minute and just reading some comments. First of all, hi, welcome to the new people that are here. So Here's a comment: I feel guilt and anxiety about having to work and potentially bringing home the illness to my family. So that is so valid, and there's a lot of different aspects and areas where guilt has been coming up. My significant other who is sitting on the couch is now watching. Hi, thank you for supporting this. This is really great. And so that guilt can be— for me, I'm— it's almost like privilege shame. Like, I feel guilty that I don't really have to worry about this for me and my health, that I have groceries in the fridge, that I have a job that I can commute— not commute— that I can do online. Like, I'm providing teletherapy for people who need therapy, and I feel almost guilty that I get to do that while so many people don't get to do that. And so someone in this thread, Mr. Bright, said that he feels guilty that he has to work and then potentially bring this home. It's scary, and it's scary because we don't know a lot about this, and it's finding that balance between Let me show up and be a responsible employee, but let me also not put myself or others at risk. And just like I started at the beginning of this Facebook Live, I don't think there's a finite solution. I'm not gonna sit here and tell anyone what I think they should do. Side note, that's not what therapy is. For those of you that are interested in therapy and haven't tried it, it's not about someone— and some therapists might do this, I personally disagree with that wholeheartedly— but therapy is not about someone sitting back and telling you, hey, this is what you should do. It's about asking questions questions, guiding you, you know, helping you to get to that truth in you. And also just providing a space where you can talk about it, where you can say, I feel really guilty that I have to work, I feel really guilty that my family is home, I feel guilty that I don't have to work and some people are struggling for money, etc., and navigating all of those emotions. And so, Mr. Bright, in terms of that feelings of guilt, feeling of guilt, my biggest recommendation— and again, not advice per se, but recommendation— and I know this works well for for me is talking about it, is processing it, is realizing that all of your feelings are valid. And this goes for so many different areas of life, is that your feelings are valid. And the way that you're responding to this makes sense based on how you were raised, what you've gone through, the level of resilience you have, which can be an organic or kind of environmental thing. There's no wrong way to be reacting emotionally. Just like with grief, I think a lot of times we'll inadvertently compare our grieving process to other people's, and we use that as a gauge to say, am I doing this right? And the reality is, regarding how this is affecting you, just like in terms of other big things that have happened this year, in terms of the impeachment, in terms of Kobe Bryant and his daughter's death, right? Whether things completely just bounce right off of you and have no effect on you, or they keep you up at night because you can't stop thinking about it, there's no wrong answer here. But it's about creating space to feel what you're feeling. Okay, give me a second to drink some coffee. Water. Mm. Okay. You should see how heated my home group's group text is getting regarding the fate of tonight's meeting. So if you are in a 12-step program, um, oh man, I have opinions. That's a tough one. Yeah, people are gonna have different opinions on things. The cool thing is if you're in a 12-step program, there's a ton of resources Online meetings, dial-in meetings, literature, speaker tapes. And again, kind of, this is a side note for people that are in recovery. You know what? This is my Facebook Live. I'm gonna talk about my opinion. Meeting makers make it is such BS. Meeting makers make meetings. What are you doing the other 23 hours of the day? And so if you cannot go to 12-step meetings and you are struggling, Reach out, call someone, start to practice the other steps. I mean, none of the steps actually have to do with going to meetings, but connection is huge, right? I believe the opposite of addiction is not abstinence, it is connection. And so how are you connecting with yourself, with others, and with whatever it is that you believe in? And that's what I think is really important. Um, you know, in the state of Maryland, we have been strongly encouraged to not have any social gatherings that are more than 50 people. So I personally, believe that it is completely irresponsible on so many levels to be having large 12-step meetings. That is just my opinion. I am not a spokesperson for any 12-step organization. I just happen to be in one. But anyway, that's how I feel about that. But if you are struggling because you can't go to meetings or you can't go to therapy, right, thank the Lord. I don't know, I was gonna say God and I thought that was too religious, so I said the Lord, which is It's not any better. Thank the universe that we live in a time that we have so many accessible means of connecting with each other. Like, that's awesome. And so whether it's therapy, 12 steps, family, right? FaceTime. If you are an extrovert and you are quarantined at home alone and you feel like you're going crazy, reach out to people. If you're the type of person that says things like, "I don't do well asking for help," this is a really good opportunity to start changing your behaviors. I have seen so many things online, and it's one of the reasons I wanted to do this Facebook Live. I saw Brené Brown, my hero, do an Instagram Live, and it was like, God, that's really cool. I saw a church service do something live. I'm Jewish, but that's cool, you know? And there's a lot of different opportunities. We can sit back and scroll on social media, and we can look at memes until we're dying inside, or we can actually start to prioritize our mental health, emotional health, and physical health. I know I'm for one a little frustrated because not only have I been sick since last Thursday, but my gym is closing, which makes sense. And I can sit back and eat pizza, which I already did today, or I could also do some home workouts. You know, I think it's important to note that whatever keeps us feeling like our head is above water and feel— makes us feel grounded, we need to go about very, very, very vigilantly. Yes, my musician friends are doing live streams. I think that's amazing. If you're into the Indigo Girls, which I am, they're doing a live concert and it's actually pretty cool. I mean, we can look at like the state of the world and how awful it is, or we can look at how many opportunities there are for real connection. Like, we're all at home, hopefully, and we get to connect. And so for me, I need to be very mindful about the way that I use social media. I mean, I went on like an unfollowing spree because when I follow things that essentially feel like it's just highlight reels of people's perfect lives, I will automatically tell myself, wow, other people's quarantine experience is so much cooler than mine, which is so ridiculous. So another thing I promised to do on here is talk about some grounding skills and techniques, and so I'm gonna do that. Facebook Live is hard because I know that there's people watching live right now, and I know there's people that are gonna watch later, and and some of you are actively participating and some of you were just watching, and it's hard to just fill the time and talk about things. It's very weird, but I'm gonna keep doing it. So grounding skills. So here are the things that I find really, really helpful. One is guided meditation. So if you are not a fan of meditation or you're the kind of person that tells yourself, oh, like, I'm just not good at it because I can't I can't clear my mind. Welcome to the club. Very few people can just sit down and clear their minds. That's also not the purpose of meditation. Meditation and mindfulness is about nonjudgmental awareness. And so there's an app that I find amazing and it's called Calm, like I'm so calm, the Calm app. And they have breathing exercises, they have guided meditations and they're phenomenal. They have sequences like 21 Days of Calm or 7 Days of Relationship with Self series or Relationship with Others series. Series, or, um, being calm at work, like things that I find super relatable and helpful. I absolutely love the Calm app, so that's something that's really helpful for me. Another thing that can be very helpful is to just pause and notice how you're feeling. And I don't mean emotionally, I mean physically. So everyone that's watching right now, pause and start to get in touch with your physical body. Are your shoulders hunched like this? Are you kinda bent over? Is there a way for you to pull your shoulders down your back and straighten your spine? Is your brow furrowed like this? You know, is your jaw clenched? I think it's so important, even if you do like a big stretch, to just kind of relieve some of the stress, because we hold on to stress and trauma and emotions in our body, on our bodies. And so, everyone just notice, where can you release some tension? I'm a really big fan of progressive muscle relaxation, where you tighten a part of you and then let go. So start with your hands, your face, your feet, etc. Or you just focus on a part of your body, so focusing on the crown of your head. And again, there's really great guided meditations on YouTube too. YouTube, you can look up literally anything. David just said ASMR videos, which are phenomenal if you're into that, or they're really creepy and weird. It's totally up to you. Let's see what Jess said. I love what you said about comparing your quarantine experience to others. Thinking about deactivating my Facebook for a few weeks. So yeah, whatever works for you. I have gone through periods of time where I've deactivated social media completely, and what I do now is I try to bring a more mindful awareness to it, which for me is way harder, and I slip into it. Uh, I slip into using it obsessively and then How can I slow down? And there's been periods of time where I have deleted the apps off my phone, but I've kept my accounts, or I've deleted the apps off my phone but kept Facebook Messenger, because I would always say like, what if someone needs me? Like, what, what an interesting thing. But really being mindful of that tendency to compare. And so there's ASMR videos, there's mindfulness videos. Another really helpful grounding technique is, again, wherever you are, wherever you're watching this, put both your feet on the ground. Mine don't actually reach right now, but put both your feet on the ground and just feel them there. Feel your feet on the ground. There's a really great anxiety coping skill, trauma coping skill, if you start to dissociate that has to do with senses, right? And putting both your feet on the ground, maybe putting both your hands on your thighs and taking a deep breath through your nose to the count of 4, holding for the count of 4, and breathing out on the count of 4. It's really hard to do while I'm talking. And it's a box breath. So you breathe in to the count of 4, hold it to the count of 4, out to the count of 4, hold it to the count of 4. And what that's doing is without your permission, right, we don't need, uh, we don't need to think our way through this. It's a physical response where we're going to slow down, I believe, our sympathetic nervous system. Parasympathetic, sympathetic nervous system, yeah. And so start with the breath. If you start to feel anxious and overwhelmed, start with the breath. Grounding, right? What helps you to feel grounding? I like to think of it as an anchor, like what is anchoring me? Journaling is really helpful, especially if you're home. And again, these are things I'm sure like If you go to Google and type "best tips to combat anxiety," these will come up. But it's wild how helpful it actually is. And I'm a really big fan of bullet journals. And with bullet journals, you don't have to write full sentences like, "Dear diary, day 2 of quarantine. I'm home chilling and it's wild." You can just bullet. How am I feeling today? Like, feel stir-crazy, feeling really guilty that I don't have to leave my house and I can still work from home and some people don't have that opportunity. You know, getting a little worried about my immunocompromised family members, etc. And just really start to bullet point how you're feeling, where you're at. And then you can even start to separate it into different subjects like goals. Like, what's my goal? I have all this time at home now. Maybe I should read a frickin' book, right? Like, what are the things I want to do? Are there movies I want to watch, etc.? This ring light is really bright. Hold please. Yeah, okay, we're gonna leave that off. This lighting's bad. God. So, oh, hey. All right. So, so far, hold on, I'm gonna switch this lighting. I really don't like this. Thank you guys for liking this and watching it. I just want this to be helpful. What? Wow. Oh, that's nice. Okay. So far, I'm learning to play the banjo. That's amazing. I'm jealous. I feel like that's super exciting. God, I wish I had a banjo or a dog. So what are some things that you all are doing that's helping you? Some things that you want to know more about? Some things you're doing that are actively not helping you and you know they're not helping you, but you keep doing it anyway?? And we'll just— where are your heads at, right? How often have you been checking? Come— oh, I can't come over, I'm self-quarantining. But you do live really close, so I might come over. No, I probably won't. You know, what are some things that you have questions about? As you type, which I hope you will, I'm gonna talk more about just certain coping skills. So again, just noticing, you know, where is your head at? Are you experiencing FOMO? As ridiculous as that sounds, are you experiencing fear of missing out? Because some people are quarantined together, or some people are at work together. My sound isn't working, but just stopped by to support the GOAT. Thank you so much, Michael Kessler. That is really nice. Oh, Team Kessler, you guys watching me. So more grounding tools and skills and things. So we talked about meditation, we talked about physical grounding, noticing senses. Hi, Kessler's. Noticing what's going on in your body. For me, when I experience anxiety— no FOMO, good job, same— when I experience anxiety, I feel it on my chest and in my stomach. And it's worth kind of asking yourself, if this feeling could talk, what would it be saying? For me, like I said, there's a lot of what I like to call privilege shame. Like, I feel guilty that I'm okay, you know? I feel guilty that I'm probably gonna be okay. And there's a lot of people that aren't. And so really struggling with, well, how do I stay in the know but not shame myself for something that's not necessarily my fault? How do I say— how do I stay helpful? You know, Michael Kessler is pressing the like button so many times. What can I do to be connected to the people around me in an authentic way? Carla says, same here. And I'm assuming that has to do with You know, being okay and feeling kind of bad about that, you know. How can I have authentic, genuine connection with people from home instead of this kind of faux connection that a lot of us experience on social media where we post a picture for likes and then we get likes and then we feel better and then it goes away, you know? How can I actually feel connected to myself, to others? To something that I believe in? If faith plays a role in where you're at right now, you know, am I journaling? Am I writing down some of my fears? Another really great grounding tool— we talked about breathing, and so always kind of just pausing and noticing your breath. And for me, I really, really need to just let my shoulders go down my back, take deep breaths in through my nose and out through my nose. Susie likes connecting with nature and walking outside. That's something you can do with social distancing. Amanda, I am part of the immunosuppressed community, and it's tough not to be frustrated with people who are not taking this serious— seriously. So that totally makes sense, right? And so I talked earlier about how to have compassion and honor your own experience and have patience and compassion with others. But a lot of times I hear people being frustrated about how people are taking this too seriously, which is, in my opinion, something that is a very privileged comment to make. And then we hear from people like Amanda, who is part of the immunosuppressed community. And so when she sees people who are standing in line for bars for St. Paddy's Day or just not taking this seriously at all, it's her life and people like her life that is in danger. And that's something we all need to think about, is whether or not we are healthy or we're not healthy, our actions are gravely affecting other people. People. And instead of putting our heads in the sand, I think genuine connection and authenticity means showing up for those people, you know. Sometimes it's really tough to have those conversations with people who it's like there's nothing you can say to make it better, there's nothing you can say to take it away. But the end of the day, just showing up and being there and creating space to listen, like, hey, what's it like going through this right now? Are you okay? And if they say, no, I'm not okay, I'm freaking out, Listen, listen without trying to find a solution or, um, like silver line their experience and make it better. I think a lot of times, and this is from a Brené Brown video, you know, we miss our opportunities for vulnerability because we're trying to take away someone's pain. But that's not true connection. Like, true connection is really just being there. I need more water. Other thoughts, feelings, things Amanda, thank you for sharing that. It takes courage, I think, on any platform to just share about what, what it is you're going through and where you're at. Thanks, Jess, number one fan. If everyone watching right now were to just pause and take a deep breath in through your nose for the count of 4. I have a stuffy nose, so I can't. And hold it for 4, and breathe out for 4, and hold it for 4. Jess is frustrated that her work isn't closing and that she has— she might be bringing germs home to her family, which is valid. Like, it's tough because depending on where you work, again, like, there's no one right answer. I mean, I don't know, at least that's just not my area of expertise because I'm not an epidemiologist. But it's tough. It's like, how can we show up for others? I know Jess works in an essentially healthcare field. How can we show up for others while also showing up for ourselves and for our families? And are you able to have those tough conversations with your employer, with your supervisor, with your family? It's really terrifying because this I— from at least what I know in my time on this earth, like, this is unprecedented. And again, I think a lot of times, especially if we already struggle with anxiety, not having a finite answer, not having a known, can be incredibly difficult. Staying in the here and now is so important, and it's tear— it's hard to— it's like, what am I preparing for? Is this gonna turn into Italy? I don't really know, like Ah, it's just terrifying. David says, my mom's immunocompromised. We're hibernating as of this morning. Argue with her a bit. A salad, Diet Pepsi, medically necessary adventure. Yeah, it's tough. I mean, I had to go to my office earlier today to get mail, and I went to the Starbucks that was there, which I don't regret, but then I'm also like I don't know. I don't know. It's tough to know what to do and how to do it. And I think just like in political kind of tense times, everyone has really strong opinions, really, really strong opinions. And it's very much like, this is how it is. So like the world's gonna end versus this is a liberal ploy. And as a mental health practitioner, I think one of the most important things is no matter what opinions are flying around, can you create space to honor and feel your feelings? Can you pause, put your phone down for a minute, breathe in through your nose and out through your nose if you're not congested like me, put your feet on the ground, check in with your body, check in with your essential needs, right? Am I eating? Am I sleeping? Am I drinking water? And am I connecting with people? Do I feel alone? Do I feel lonely? Two different things. Am I comparing my experience to others, or am I honoring my experience no matter what it might be? I hear people say all the time, or I have heard people say recently, you know, like, who am I to complain because I'm not home with kids? And I'm like, well, who you are to complain is a person with needs who matters, and your experience is valid even if the person next door has 10 kids at home, which which I can't personally imagine, that doesn't actually minimize your experience. And that's something I think that's really easy to forget, is we can inadvertently shove down our own experience and our emotions because someone has it worse. And that's true, many people may have it worse and many people may have it better, but all you have is your experience. And I think it takes a lot of courage and resilience and yeah. To acknowledge your experience or to reach out and ask for help and say, "I'm not okay." I keep telling my clients who are, you know, willing to do teletherapy, which is uncomfortable for a lot of people because video chatting is weird, this is awesome. Like, you're not— you're not jeopardizing or sacrificing or leveling your needs. You're still following through with the things that you need to do, and I think that's really important. It. Any other thoughts? We got, we got 8 people watching right now, which is cool. Do you want to add anything? Hannah Rose. Yes, teletherapy is definitely different. It's different. I mean, I think one of the benefits of therapy is being able to sit in person with your therapist because there's so much to be said for nonverbals. Again, the space that we take up or don't take up, how we're sitting, what we're doing with our bodies. And so teletherapy, which essentially is just this, is a little less personal, but at the end of the day, creating space to allow yourself to process is really important. Thanks, Amanda, and thanks, Jess. You guys are great. Ooh, how often should we meditate or try the breathing exercises? So I recommend kind of doing it PRN, right? Like as needed. I, I think it was last week or two weeks ago, meditated for 10 minutes. I did the Daily Calm, which is a guided meditation on the Calm app every morning for like 7 or 8 days straight, and then I got sick and stopped doing it. Now I haven't done it in a bunch of days, and it's wild how much of a difference it makes in my day. Because meditation is all about sitting and noticing. That's it. Non-judgmental awareness, noticing what comes up. I would highly recommend, especially if you're home all day not doing anything, or maybe working from home, if you can, like, try to meditate more than once once a day. If you've never done it before, try guided meditation. If you're struggling with resenting literally everyone and how the world is handling this— I'm not projecting at all— I would try Metta meditations. For those of you that are unfamiliar, Metta meditation is the practice of essentially spreading loving kindness to others. And so a really great guided Metta— you know what, I'm actually just gonna talk you through it. I'm just gonna do it right now. But to answer Carla, the breathing exercise, I would say try to tap into that and notice your breathing as often as possible, even if once an hour, once every 10 minutes. Just, how am I breathing? I've been enrolled in this really intensive trauma training, and it's really intense, like treating clients with trauma. And the presenter, Lisa Ference, who is phenomenal, will pause once every maybe 30 minutes and just have this really like beautiful picture of a landscape landscape on screen and say— and it just says breathe, and we all like, oh, and just breathe. So I'm gonna walk you through a Metameditation. Now, if you're around other people, or if you just have this up because you're supporting me, awesome. But if you're alone, I recommend just putting the phone somewhere near you, and I'm gonna walk you through a Metameditation, and I'm gonna actually close my eyes too because it makes it a lot easier to do it. So I'm gonna do that. Let me know after if you did it. And if this is something you're not ever gonna do or you can't do right now, you can always pull up this video and come back to it another time. So I'm still really congested. So Meta Meditations. Oh, so I would like you to close your eyes. I can't see you anyway, so I don't know why you would keep your eyes open unless you want to watch me close my eyes. Which is awkward, but that's fine. So thank you, I will. All right, so close your eyes and I want you to put both feet on the ground unless you're sitting cross-legged. Make your spine pretty straight, good posture. Lift your shoulders up. You can watch me for this part. Lift your shoulders up and pull them down your back, and you can put your hands crossed like like this, or you can just put them in your lap or on your thighs, whatever is most comfortable for you. Take a deep breath through your nose, out through your mouth. Ah. And I'm going to do that one more time, but I want you to take a deep breath through your nose, and when you let it out, I want it to be audible. So Deep breath through your nose and out through your mouth. Ah. And that's something really helpful that you can come back to at any point. It helps to just release whatever it is you're holding on to. And so with your eyes closed, I want you to picture a place that is peaceful for you, be it a beach, a forest, your bedroom, your childhood room. Which for some of us may not be— okay, just any place that is peaceful for you. Keeping your eyes closed, in your mind's eye, really see this place, this peaceful place. If you are a perfectionist and you're trying to pick the perfect place, let that go, release it, and just picture some scenic, safe comfortable place. Now I want you to picture in your mind's eye yourself walking into that place and taking a seat. I want you to see what you look like, what you're wearing. There's no wrong picture here, but really see yourself in that safe, peaceful place, sitting down on the ground, on a chair, on a bed, whatever is comfortable for you. Take a deep breath through your nose and out through your mouth. In your mind's eye, I want you to picture someone currently alive or who has since passed that you have strong positive feelings for. Anyone that comes to mind that you have strong positive feelings of love for. And I want you to picture this person coming into that safe space and walking towards you and sitting down across from you. And in your mind's eye, I want you to take their hands in your hands and look at them surrounded by this safe, beautiful place. I want you to look at them and really see them, and I want you to repeat to them in your head or out loud if you're alone or don't mind saying things out loud I want you to repeat the following mantras: I hope you are well. I hope you are at peace. I hope you are healthy. And I hope you are loved. And again, I want you to really picture this person in your mind's eye. And if you are coming into this Facebook Live a little late into this guided meditation, we're picturing ourselves seated in a very safe place, a serene place, seated across from someone that we have strong feelings of love just positive feelings for. And this person can be currently living or past. And once again, I want you to repeat in your mind's eye or out loud: I hope you are well. I hope you are at peace. I hope you are happy, and I hope you are healthy. Now I want you to picture that person that you have strong feelings of love and just positive negativity towards, I want you to picture them standing up and walking away out of your safe place. And I want you to really feel that feeling that's left there. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Ah. And bring your shoulders up and down your back. Unclench your jaw. Unfurl your brow. Keeping your eyes closed, I want you to picture someone that you feel neutrally about. This can be a classmate, a colleague, an extended family member, really anyone, just someone that's kind of in your life but on the periphery. You don't feel good about them or bad about them, you just feel neutrally. And pick, pick one person and picture them. And I want you to picture that person walking into your space, that safe, beautiful, serene place. And I want you to picture them walking towards you and sitting down on the ground across from you. And although it may feel awkward, I want you to pick up their hands in your mind and hold their hands and look at them and really see them. Take a deep breath in with them. And out through your mouth. And I want you to repeat the following mantras after me, looking at this person and really seeing them. I hope you are well. I hope you are healthy. I hope you are at peace. I hope you are happy. I think that's it. One more time, looking at this person who's just kind of in your life, but you know, not like close, just a neutral person. Really see them. I hope you are well. I hope you are healthy. I hope you are happy. And I hope you are at peace. And I want you to watch this person stand up and leave your safe space and walk away. And maybe with a small smile on your face, take a deep breath in and a deep breath out through your mouth. And feel what it's like to wish someone who you don't feel close to or distant from, just a person, truly wish them well and really soak that in. Unfurrow your brow, unclench your jaw. Now I want you to picture someone that you have a difficult relationship with. Maybe you resent them, maybe you hate loath them. Again, this person can be alive or have passed away, but picture someone that the second I say difficult relationship or tumultuous, tumultuous or resent, you think of. Most of us can think of at least one person pretty quickly, and there may be too many to even think of, but pick one. You can always come back to this meditation and do it with someone else in your mind. Pick one person that you just really struggle with, and I want you to picture this person walking into your safe space. Now take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your nose. Release your hands, unclench your jaw, unfurl your brow, put your shoulders down your back, and watch this person come over to you in the safe space and sit across from you. You don't have to pick up their hands if you don't want to, but you can if you choose to. And I want you to look at this person and see them, really see them, and just notice what comes up in your body. Notice where you feel any tension and see if you can take the breath and relieve some of that tension. Now, whether or not you mean these these mantras. Whether or not you truly believe these mantras, I want you to repeat them in your mind's eye to this person after me. I hope you are well. I hope you are happy. I hope you are healthy and stay healthy. I hope you are at peace. Take a deep breath in, out through your mouth. I really see this person. I hope you are well. I hope I hope you are healthy. I hope you are happy. And I hope you are at peace. And I want you to watch this person stand up, walk away from your safe space. Once again, unclench your jaw, unfurrow your brow, release the tension in your hands, take a deep breath in through through your nose and out through your mouth. Just notice what it feels like. Notice what's coming up in you. Lastly, I want you to see yourself sitting there in your safe space, and I want you to picture another version of yourself. So there's two of you. That version is exactly the same as you. It's just kind of a clone. It's like a duplicate. So there's one of you sitting on the ground, and there's another one of you walking into your safe space and sitting down across from you. And it's a mirror image. Mirror image. Mirror image. Yeah. And I want you to pick up your hands, and I want you to look at yourself and really see you. Notice what comes up. Just noticing non-judgmentally. What do you see? What do you feel? And I want you to say out loud if possible, but in your mind's eye, if need be. I hope you are well. I hope you are happy. I hope you are healthy. And I hope you are at peace. Take a deep breath in through your nose and Out through your mouth. And for the last time, looking at yourself, holding your own hands in this safe, serene space of yours, repeating after me: You deserve to be well. You deserve to be healthy. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to feel peace. And in your mind's eye, I want you to stand up with this other version of yourself, hand in hand, and walk out of your safe space. And when you're ready, I want you to slowly blink your eyes open. I wonder if anyone did that with me just now. Oh, so that is called a meta— oh, I'm like tearing a little bit. That is called a meta meditation, and the purpose, like I said before, is to spread loving kindness to others but also to yourself. And there's a whole lot of different kinds of meditations like that. If you just look up on the internet Metta meditation, it's essentially wishing, hoping, spreading loving kindness to yourself and others. And I know for me, the first time I ever did that, I think I cried. Um, it was difficult for me to think of someone that I have a difficult relationship with, but it was more difficult for me to think of myself. And that was really illuminating to where I was in terms of my own self-worth. Like, to look at myself in my mind's eye and say to myself, okay, I deserve love and belonging and happiness and health. And it was, it was easier to do the person I hated at the time than it was to do it to myself. And it brought up a lot of emotion. And so, you know, if you're quarantined, if you're at home, if you're like— the possibilities are endless. In terms of exploring your relationship with yourself, exploring your relationship with, you know, your self-worth, your self-esteem, your body image. I mean, we can spend the next however many days hiding in social media and promoting images of ourselves that we don't actually believe in, or we can really ground down and do some self-exploration. Any thoughts on the Metta meditation and any kind of, uh, yeah, thoughts, feelings, imprints per se. I'm really congested, so the whole breathing in through your nose, out through your nose thing was really difficult, and so I kept doing in through your nose, out through your mouth. You're welcome. Um, I know for me, meta meditation and mindfulness and just these kinds of practices have been pretty life-changing, even though I don't practice them in a formal seated way every day. I think pausing and, and kind of checking myself on like, why am I so filled with rage? Like, where is this coming from? And like, do I hate myself right now? And Jess, I'm really glad that you loved it. I know I did it in a group counseling session I think that you were in once when you were, when you were shadowing me. I absolutely love taking people in person in real time through Metameditation. It's usually not as rushed, and it can get really— it's pretty cool to feel the energy of the whole room just like in it. And even, I mean, doing it in front of a screen with my boyfriend on the couch, like, I got really into it and was just like in it. Ah, Susie, I'm really, really glad that it was powerful for you. I— it's very vulnerable allowing yourself to do it and then also guiding others. It's very, it's very weird. My face is red because I was like, it— it— but again, like, you may notice too that your heart rate might have slowed down, the tension in your body may have gotten decreased. And it's like, oh, another grounding tool is stretching. Stretching. Do at-home yoga, journal, breathe, go outside. All of those things that I know a lot of websites say to do, they really do work. They really do work. So I'm gonna sign off in a few minutes. I have a couple more clients this evening for teletherapy. I hope this was helpful, and I hope at the very least it also just illuminated that everyone's experience is valid. No one is more right or more wrong. If you're at home wondering how you should feeling. There's no shoulds here. Try to stop shoulding on yourself. Um, I feel like I'm just getting sicker as this Facebook Live goes on, or more congested. I don't know why, but I am. Okay, yeah, people are slowly signing off, so I'm going to sign off too. Feel free to share this video with friends or family, and I hope everyone takes care because you deserve to be happy and healthy and well and at peace. Okay, bye.