Hannah Rose, LCPCOwner, Rose Wellness · Founder | Therapist | Educator | Consultant

do i want my partner to be different?

8 Mar 2025 · 1 min

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1:01

This content was created by Hannah Rose. This content was uploaded by Hannah Rose. This is a YouTube video titled "do i want my partner to be different?" (published 2025-03-08). It contains a first-person reflection/advice segment about relationship dynamics: the speaker contrasts controlling versus compassionate parts of themselves, examines why people try to change their partners, recounts a past relationship where attempts to change the other person revealed incompatibility rather than fault, and encourages communication and creating space to explore relationship issues.

Chapters

What parts of you come out most in this relationship? The controlling part of you, the compassionate part of you. Like if I always want my partner to change and I've been in this dynamic, that's about me. Why am I showing up in a relationship where I'm not content with the person that I am with? Challenging someone to grow and be better is, is not the same as fundamentally, I want you to be a different person. And I'll never forget in a previous relationship, I have nothing but good things to say about this person, but we just weren't like meshing organically. We were not on the same page and no one was right or wrong. We just like stopped meshing after a few years. And I remember like trying to encourage him to do this differently or do this differently, and he looked at me and said, "I just feel like you want me to be a different person." And it was so eye-opening for me because it was like, wow, the problem isn't me and the problem isn't him, or wasn't him. The problem was that I think we both were continuing to try to make something work that just wasn't working. If you're struggling in your relationship, you're not alone. I encourage you to talk about it, and I encourage you to create some space to allow yourself to explore all those different dynamics.