Relationship Advice | Ecstasy is Available in Every Moment

One of the reasons we obsess on that orgasm is because we are so dissatisfied with this moment that we don't experience ecstasy in the present moment. That repulsion to the present moment is our suffering. That is our reactive pattern. And it's so perplexing because we're using this practice to liberate our suffering. But at the same time, if we're not careful, we're actually obsessing on this next high or this next ecstasy or this next release. Denying the present moment completely as we do it. And that's why I titled my book Playing with Fire, because that's playing with fire. You mess with this technology the wrong way, it creates more suffering, more craving, more obsession. As we release our attachment to the— any orgasm at all, and we just come to the breath and come to the sensation in the body, and sensation stops being focused on the head of the penis around the shaft, start to actually feel sensation deeper in the body through the central channel. And what starts to happen in that process is the body relaxes and stops obsessing. There's an ecstasy that's available in every moment of breath, in every touch. There's an ecstasy inherent where you don't need to climax. And that's what the practice is trying to take you towards. It's trying to lead you to the ecstasy that is readily available here and now that you don't need a climax to get to. And then life becomes ecstatic. Every moment of sex and practice is ecstatic. Even when you're sitting with your partner and she's there across from you and you just take that first breath with her, you're already feeling the ecstasy of fuck with her. You're already enraptured in the present moment. Feel— it doesn't need to go one step further. That's what we unlock in this practice.