18 - HOW DOES YOUR BODY AFFECT YOUR TRAUMA HEALING? HOW TO RECCONECT WITH YOUR BODY?

Hi, I'm Dr. Carol Darza, author, trauma psychologist and founder of Reconnect Trauma Treatment center in Los Angeles. Today we're going to be talking about the body and the trauma. So a lot of people, when they have gone through a trauma or they have stress and they go to therapy, their first inclination is to understand their brain, to talk about it and to really believe that if they understand and analyze over and over again, they can overcome what's happening. Right? Or you've heard a lot about the power of the mind and the power of the positive thinking. These are all very important things. But I think it's really missing the opportunity to include the body in the process. Our bodies actually give us a lot of information and also they hold on to a lot of past trauma. I say fortunately and unfortunately because, because we can use that for our benefit. So if you have been through especially physical oriented trauma and you don't remember certain details, don't force yourself to remember it. Because sometimes when our minds don't remember, our bodies do. We can actually use the body in order to get some healing from the past experiences and including current stress. So let's talk a little bit about how that's possible. When you experience a certain feeling or when you remember a certain traumatic experience or incident in your life, you usually are asked how do you feel? Or what do you think about that? So, but the next question should be now, how do I feel in my body as I think of this incident or this stressful and traumatic situation? So, and I'm not talking about feeling like sadness or anger, you know, that kind of a thing, but how does it feel in my body? What do I sense? So as I'm talking about something, does my stomach get tied? Do I get maybe dry throat or clenched fists? Or my heart is beating faster or could be something positive, or my shoulders are relaxing, I can take a deeper breath or I'm holding on to my breath. If you just start becoming aware of what's happening in your body, this is a good step towards healing. So try it with me. As you're just listening, just notice maybe something that's stressful in your life, not something too traumatic, please, but maybe something that's a little bit stressful currently. And yes, ask yourself, what am I feeling? What emotion, maybe what the incident is. But then notice your body right away. So as you're noticing, don't panic, don't try to run away from it, don't try to make a change. So let's say you notice that your breathing is not Good. So don't take a deep breath. This is just about being mindful and just about really noticing, without any judgment, without trying to change anything. And so as you sit with that sensation and take a moment, notice the rest of your body. Is there part of your body that feels maybe calmer or more centered or more relaxed? Then just notice that it could be your shoulders or maybe your hands feel warm and nice and just kind of stay paying attention to those two parts in your body and notice what happens next. Our bodies can help even in making decisions. So have you ever been in a situation where someone says, hey, do you want to, what do you want to do? What kind of job you're looking for? And let's say maybe you're torn between making a decision about working here or there. So you can really use your body to make that decision. So when you hear, okay, I'm going to work here, what happens in your body as you think about that? Does your stomach react to it or any other reaction and then pause and then think of the other thing and just again, notice what happens in your body now. So when you try to make a decision, when you're trying to sort of check in about how you're feeling, ask your body and not your brain. Let's make that into a habit, including your body into your healing and into your day to day practice. Let's look at different areas of the body because everyone has different reactions in different regions. And so getting to know your own anatomy in a way and how you react to stress and trauma will be very important for your healing. So one thing that I recommend is to scan your body from head to toe. And as you are going through any stressful event, including really remembering your traumatic experience in your, in your life. So here are some of the examples. So you might be the kind of person that really tightens their jaw. A lot of that is very much stress related. Also, people who are holding on to their anger feels a lot of their tightness in their jaw. In fact, this could happen a lot when you are sleeping, if you're having bad dreams or are trying to process some negative feelings in your, in your system, in your consciousness, you might have a lot of tightness or even clenching or clenching your teeth and your jaw on a regular basis. Another typical sign of stress is actually in the shoulders and in the neck. So it's very interesting because neck is really about sort of support. So if you're not feeling supported you in your life, you might end up having a lot of neck problems. Shoulders is Another area where a lot of the people, when they are under stress, they're putting their, you know, they're sort of in that position or they're in a very collapsed position. If they feel sort of depressed or really drained in their lives, you might have sort of this hunchback position without really even realizing it. Right? That's why I'm encouraging you to be in touch with, with your body. A lot of other feelings go through the stomach, particularly with younger kids. If you're hearing young children talk about having stomach problems, often it's related to some anxiety or something that they are stressed about. And of course, you know, hopefully there's nothing medical, but I'm talking about in general. The heart palpitations is a very common thing, of course, of anxiety. Right away when we have anxiety, sweaty hand palms, those are also signs of nervousness, ongoing generalized anxiety. So, well, let's talk about foot people who are just constantly moving their legs, right? The nervousness, sort of the energy that's not getting discharged out of body can be shown, can really show up in the body in that way. So get to know your body, really just track it. There's no right or wrong answer. But the more you track, the more you ask yourself, what's happening in my body right now? The more connected you could stay really with yourself. And again, our tendency is to go up into our heads, but then we're really missing an opportunity to notice what's happening in our bodies. And when we don't, what can happen is you can eventually build a chronic health problems. So sometimes GI issues or other chronic migraines, again not medically explained, of course, could be really result of accumulated stress over time. Do you know that your posture actually has a lot to do with your mood? Here's an interesting example. So try that with me. Collapse your body a little bit. Sort of put your head down this way, really shoulders down. And then say, I'm very happy. Okay. And now try putting up sitting up straight, really just your back and your chin upright in a position and say, I am sad. I don't feel good about myself. What do you notice? It's kind of hard to be really happy when you're in this position, right? So believe it or not, when you are feeling defeated, exhausted, tired, even though, yes, our body wants to go into sort of crunched mode, you might find that it will help your mood by just sitting up. So. So it actually has a direct effect on your mood. So I highly recommend for you guys to just constantly watch the way that you're sitting. If you notice it, a lot of the times when I'm working with clients, those of you who know me and when I'm doing the videos, I'm really trying to stay in that seated upright position as much as possible. It helps me to stay grounded very much. Let's talk about few more ideas of how to stay stay connected to your body. How to really help healing through the body. Well, yoga is a wonderful way to do that. Yoga is not just an exercise. I mean in the eastern philosophies there's a reason why yoga is really a form of living and being. So there are a lot of different ways that you can use yoga but it's for your well being. Not just physical exercise, the other types of things. It could be Tai Chi of course. Eating healthy, exercising regularly is a part of being healthy in your body and really showing that you care about your body. If you are trauma survivor and you need to process more, I highly recommend going to therapies that are more somatically oriented. At Reconnect for instance, we are very much body mind oriented treatment center and we treat everybody, including always the body into the healing. So we never forget the importance of that. And of course not doing drugs or alcohol is a part of showing self care and love to your body. So it's not about how you look, right? I'm talking about internally, how it affects your well being emotionally so that you never forget that you're a whole package. You're not just your mind, you're not just your job or you're not just a parent, but your whole being and wholesome means includes your body. As I mentioned in my other videos, my audiobook of the trauma map book came out. So if you want more details about really helping your healing via your body and doing grounding techniques and other things, you can listen to it on the audiobook or read it on on the book the Trauma Map. Thank you again and see you next time. And remember, trauma equals disconnect and healing equals reconnect. Stay connected.