Break Patterns & Cycles

Hey, you know, sometimes I wish I could just look at you, see your face, talk to you, answer a question. Like, you know, I really enjoy doing a podcast now that I've given myself so much space for it. But I will tell you that my favorite thing is to talk to you and help you. And I've been doing so much of my own personal work, working with my coach. Really, what we're talking about is breaking cycles, breaking patterns. And, you know, for as long as I have been sort of in this self-awareness game, if you will, or realm, You know, when I first got introduced to this idea that you could like notice yourself differently and have awareness and choose to do something about it, gosh, I was probably, I was probably in my early 20s and I got to go to some sort of like, I don't know, personality class. You know, I took a personality thing like DISC or Something like that. And, um, I think that there are self-curious people. I think there are people who sort of realize that, like, oh, okay, this is my constitution, this is how— sure, what I was built with, but then I have all this choice. And as I've been moving through my own patterns and cycles that I'm changing, I I just wish I could help you with yours. So I have a lot on my mind today, and I, I will be honest, like, I don't have a clear subject, but I think I, I think I have a general idea of what, what I want to talk about. Life is— it's very easy to believe, and I think it's quite comforting, frankly. To believe that we, we have limited options. That, well, I can't do that because of this. Well, no, I couldn't do that because of that. Like, there's this— there we put ourselves in sort of these person self-assigned categories, if you will. And, you know, that's everything from, well, I can't eat I don't know. I'm making shit up. I can't eat that because of this. Nobody in my family has ever eaten that. Right? Like, I can't eat cauliflower. I don't even know what to do with cauliflower. I can't eat cauliflower. Right? Where millions of people eat cauliflower every day, but just because you've never really built a relationship with how to eat cauliflower, you just, I can't eat that. Right? All the way to, I can't change my life. I can't change my career, my business. I can't change where I live. I can't change who I spend my life with. I can't change my hair. I can't change my clothes. I can't change the palette of my house. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't do that. And what I have, I think because And I'll probably talk more about this in future podcasts, but the last several months had me— I would say this whole first part of 2026 has been quite a time of feeling my back against the wall. And it felt like one kind of tough, either decision or moment after another. And at some point, probably in the last 5, 6 weeks, I had a realization that I would stop not doing what I believed and knew was the correct thing, right? The guidance, the And, and the, the guidance that I've had, right, that I've ignored. And so now I watch in conversation with other women, clients, friends, this same pattern of saying that this is the thing that I want. This is the thing I, I would love to have. This is the experience I want to curate in my life. This is what I want in my life. This is, you name it, it doesn't matter what it is. I was just talking to my CFO about this this morning. I'm like, so what we do is we say, I want that. I want to, yeah, that. I want to have that. And then when we get into the conversation of that, right? And as a coach, my job is just to generalize, make general observations, like nothing radical. I don't know your life, but I will always sort of Huh, that's interesting. What about this? What about this? And then this duke it out, put your fists up, fight to stay helpless, to stay confused, to stay incapable, to stay stuck. Like, yeah, like, like not yelling, but I've had clients like really, really push back to me about why the very thing they've told me that they're Yeah, I'd like more. I'd like that. I'd like this. I'd like more revenue. I'd like more people. I'd like better— a better person on my team. I'd like more free time. I'd like more things that I love. I'd like to take care of less people. Okay, well, let's talk about why you want that. What's, you know, what's motivating that? Let's imagine it. And then we start having conversations about, well, there's this or there's this. And I will posit like, well, why don't you just do it this way? Because that's more aligned with what you said you wanted. Well, do you know what that will involve? Do you know how hard that would be? Do you know how expensive that will be? Do you know how much time that's going to take? Yeah. I'm talking to you. You're the one who said who wanted the thing on the other side. Why are you arguing with me about how hard it is? What? What is useful about that? Yo. And I will tell you, having spent the last several weeks just stopping that, just walk the line, mama. Walk the straight line. What do you want? This. What needs to happen? What needs to start, stop, and continue for that to happen? What do you need to stop doing? What do you need to start doing and what should you keep? And then just do it. No nonsense. No brain gymnastics. This is the habit part that I'm talking about. That we get on these treadmills, we get on these spirals and we stay on them. And we believe that we can't break a cycle. We don't even know it's a cycle. We don't even know it's a pattern. Because it feels so true to us. I can't eat cauliflower. I don't even know how to cook cauliflower. You know what's so fun is that you can learn if you really want to have cauliflower. If you don't want to have cauliflower, could you just stop talking about it? Stop thinking about it. If you really want $5 million, could you just Freaking figure out how to earn it instead of talking about it all the time. Sit yourself down and begin. Everybody thinks everybody else knows. Well, they did this and she did that. He said this and well, their approach is like this. Great. You want to pay more people to show you? What they did? Or why don't you just do it? Why don't you do whoever the first person was that had to do the thing? Whoever the first person was who had to figure out how to make meals with cauliflower, you know what that person did? They figured it out. I always wondered about like popcorn. Was that an accident? Right? Boiling eggs. How did that? How did anybody figure that out? If you boil an egg, like somebody did it first and then taught people. If you're sitting there right now and and listen, the people who listen to my podcast, you're difference maker. I already know that about you. That's why you're here. You're a difference maker. Difference makers cannot— the most paralyzing thing to do as a difference maker is to sit there hoping someone else's idea will work better than the ones that you have for yourself. The ideas that you have for yourself, the ones that you think about and you think, well, I could do this and I could do this, that you haven't done, those are your answers. You just haven't done them. You haven't been consistent. You haven't showed up for yourself on a day when it's really, really hard. You haven't made the decision that's really, really hard. You haven't had the conversation that's really, really hard. I bet if you stuck with it, it would change your life. But instead you're like, oh, this is uncomfortable. I think I'll go see what Rhonda's up to. I think I'll go scroll Instagram for 12 hours and watch all the different reels and find out what everybody else does. Or you could just do it and you could stop coming up with reasons why it's hard, it's difficult, it's too expensive. It's not yours. It's not you. It doesn't feel like me. It doesn't feel good. I don't really enjoy it. I had a conversation with a client this week about, you know, I think the most important thing for all of us to remember who make money through some sort of business is it's supposed to be frick. It's it's boring. Running a company, a business, whatever's it's generally very boring things, especially for visionaries. If you're a creative and a visionary, like you want to be doing all the fun things, that's great. Do that once the business is stable. The business is there to generate revenue. That is what it's there for to do: generate revenue, fulfill on a vision, fulfill on a service, fulfill on a promise. So I I want you to get what you want, and I want to just talk to you about it. And I I I know that you think that you getting what you want is super super difficult. Special nuanced, like it's really hard. It takes, it's going to take me a minute to really explain it. I get it. I feel it too. And also it's not. You know how you get what you want? You get what you want. You get, you know how to do it. First you have to believe in yourself. You have to sort of just decide, I believe I will have this. And then you keep doing things until you get it. We want it to be so much more complicated than that. Should I do a manifesting class? Maybe if I take this meditation, maybe if I learn this new, um, client attraction model, maybe if I give another person another $5,000, I can do this. Maybe I could do it this. Maybe I should go buy another business. Maybe it's my team. Maybe I need to go, you know, Live in the Amazon for 6— I don't know. We tell ourselves a lot to dissuade ourselves from the next best step. If that next best step feels scary, uncharted terrain, hard, When really, I really do believe, you know, I feel like I'm proof of this. I— there are so many things I knew were true and have known were true for over a year, and I hit a wall. And so I made a choice. And my, my CFO will tell you, she, she was there that day. She just told me that this morning. She said, I watched you draw a line in the sand. And you have not crossed it. And she is right. I made a choice. I will do what my guidance has told me to do, no matter how hard. And now, couple months later, I am where I want to be. Nobody did that but me. And so I'm very proud of that, and it's a good reminder that that is who I am and always have been. And so yeah, I'm a difference maker for all— for the people I work with. But you know who else gets some of that? Me. I am a difference maker for me. Are you a difference maker for you? Do you believe yourself? When you say you want something, or do you just nurse it and fondle it like a wubby? Do you commit, like all in, or do you find reasons why you can't do it? Do you allow distractions to pull you out? Do you avoid difficult things because it's too hard? I think we have to decide if we want to have an extraordinary life experience, which I don't know why any of us wouldn't choose that. We have to be willing to do the things that other people aren't doing. It's like I say a lot, right? Like, I ask you the questions others don't so that you can have the life that others won't. You have to be willing to explore the provocative and the dangerous other side. Of the decisions that might be necessary to advance, to get closer. And I know you're tired, and I know you're overwhelmed, and I know you have so much work to do, and I know you have a team, and you have this issue, and you have this. I get it. I know it. All of it. I get it. Do it anyway. The amount of time we waste talking about why we can't do something, we would have it done. By now, tell me I'm wrong. So I'm going to host a free call called The Shift. You got to get on my mailing list to get the information. Go to thevisionary. CEO forward slash letters and get on there if you want to know about it. And from there, I'm going to tell you more about some coaching I'm going to do for the rest of the year if you're interested. It'll be a lot like the hot seat that I did over the summer. Some of you did that with me and it was so fun. And I'm gonna do it again. Just coach, no content, no curriculum. Private podcast is included. It's just you and me. What do you want? Let's get it. All right. Thanks for tuning in.