Happiness is a Magnet

Hey, welcome. Glad you're here. I am in the car and you know how it is when I get in the car, I think about you. And when I think about you, I want to talk to you. And so I'm going to talk to you today. And I've been, you know, a couple podcasts ago I talked about breaking cycles, you know, patterns And I think about this, this window of time that I've been through, and I just, I share my experience because I think so many other people are having like this parallel. Like, so while we are different, we are still the same, if you know what I mean, right? And I just had a friend, a dinner with a friend last night in her beautiful home, and And we do. We had this. We're the same age. We just have the same things. Our lives are are different, but we are sort of running in this parallel space. And what I've really recognized, I've always known, I think is true. You know, I'm I'm such a Disney fan. I love my my relationship with Disney. I love to play. I love to. I love make believe. I love. I love fantasy. I love dreaming about, um, the impossibility of things, and I love magic, and I love to watch magic in other people and in my own life. I just love all of it. And, um, what has always been true and what I have proved myself to be true to myself again this year Is that happiness, like real happiness, not like— and I think we all know the difference, right? Like, and I know there's all these sort of people talk about, oh, it's joy, it's happiness, it's— I don't care what you call it. I think you know what it is. It's like you wake up in the morning and you're like, okay, okay, this is good, right? And, you know, some days we don't wake up like that. I know that. Some days we wake up and we look outside and we look around and we think, oh, shoot. Right? But when you wake up and you're just happy, you just feel good. You're just like, okay, this is good. And I do think we can curate it more so than we let ourselves, more so than we foster in ourselves. I do believe we can curate more joy and happiness if we are not just naturally waking up feeling that way. And but we have to make it a practice. Like we can't wait to feel happy, just like we can't wait to feel anything, right? Like we have to practice, we have to initiate. If you're hungry, you can't wait to feel unhungry. You have to— there's a practice to solving the, the visceral feeling of hunger. You have to eat, right? If you, if you don't feel joy or happiness, you have to have a practice. And for each of us, that practice might be different. That's okay. What is it for you? Because I believe happiness is a magnet. And, you know, I believe that, that the more we allow ourselves to indulge joy, the more we have joy, and the more joy-filled things happen to us and for us and with us and around us. And so what a simple recipe. Mm-hmm. And I've, you know, I have certainly been in times in my lives where I was depressed, like clinically, and needed help with that. And I think I know other people who would say the same. And if that's you, I understand that feeling. And I know there are things that you can do about it. So we have to be careful that we don't victimize ourselves perpetually by not initiating new attempts at practice, new habits, new patterns to foster and usher in feeling better. You have agency, right? And I've referred to this in other podcasts, you know, sometimes people really just want to fight to stay miserable. And while I can understand the feeling of that, like, it feels so far away, why would I try? It feels too vulnerable. It feels like it might hurt if I can't get there. Like, it's hard. I get it all. I really do. It doesn't serve you to say— to isolate yourself to the Yeah. Point in your own mind that you're somehow different, that won't work for you. I believe that we all can find resources, strategies, other people, conversations, song and playlists, body movement options. Nature. You know, we are, we are visceral and sentient beings, and we, we need to interact with our lives to experience our lives. So I want to invite you to treat your joy as essential as you treat food, oxygen, and water. That you don't need permission to be happy, that you don't need to put your happy last, to be dismissive of your happy. You know, sometimes I do. I say to my husband after we've had a series of things happen, even just in our family, I'll say to him, "I think I need a minute." Like I've taken on a lot this week. I love everybody. I, I, I, I think I speak for most other women I know, like, we're sort of the— Right. We're the, uh, we're the absorber. And, um, and I want to be someone that other people rely on and turn to. I have no problem being her. But then, and also sometimes it's so much I can't find my own joy anymore. I get immersed in other people's challenges and worries and fears and I can't find myself. And so I have to say to my husband like, okay, I need a minute. I need— I got to step away from this because that's how I have to take care of myself. I have to treat my own joy, my own happiness as Essential, not something I wait for, not something I hope for, but that I have a practice of restoring. I want my stasis to be joy, happiness, not exhaustion and overwhelm, fear, scarcity. And the more I have nurtured joy And allowed for joy and given myself permission for joy and modeled joy, the more I have it. And it's funny because I don't even know that— I don't even do that like as a tactic, I guess, is the way that I would say that. But it was sort of interesting. This was kind of shot— it took me off guard. I— we put our house on the market Which I don't think it's gonna sell, y'all, by the way. Can I just put that? I mean, I wanna be hopeful, but the market, oh my God, this week, like, who's buying a house right now? Anyway, we'll see what happens. But, um, I told my sort of pickleball crew that I had put my house on the market if they knew anyone. And so the immediate sort of reaction was, oh, are you moving? Where are you going? Oh no, right? Sort of. And this one woman who I don't really even know very well, sort Kate sent in the text like privately, like she replied to me and she said, I just, I hope you aren't going far because I just find you so delightful and I really have enjoyed playing with you and being when you're on the court. And, and I didn't know that. I didn't know that at all. How lovely. I feel so, I really do enjoy playing pickleball. I'm not that great at it, but I love to be out there. I love to be outdoors. I love to be I love to be with people. I love to challenge myself. I love to move my body. So how about we center our happiness not as a, I'll get to it, that's not for me, maybe later, I don't even know how. I mean, I know women, I have worked with a lot of women in my lifetime who don't really smile. And I'm not saying that like smile, you, you know, for me, like make me feel good, but like they don't smile for themselves. They don't They don't laugh. I just saw a clip of Gloria Steinem today. She passed away today. Can we just stop taking the amazing women? I mean, there's a few others I would— anyway. And she said, you know, joy, laughter is an emotion that is not performative. That we don't do it as a performative emotion. And I, I thought that was so interesting. Laughter is just an innate, like, reaction. And so if we're not laughing a lot, if we're not smiling a lot, then I have to think about— we have to ask ourselves, where are we? Where are we spending our time? Who are we with? And maybe we need to figure that out. More laughing, please. More happiness, please. Happiness is a magnet. Happiness will pull more of what you want into your life, into your life. I truly believe that, like, with every ounce of my being. Not fake happiness. If you're struggling to feel good, get the support you need. You You don't have to feel that way. Not today. Not in 2026. Holy moly, there's so much we can do to help ourselves. You matter, mama. We need you. And your happiness is your ticket. It's your magnet to more of what you want. So how about spend a little time this week thinking about this? Invest in it. Make a little promise to yourself that you'll indulge in some things that just bring you joy, whatever they are, on purpose. Okay. Talk next time.