Let's discuss the increase of violent acts in consensual intimate encounters

Hello, curious folk. I'm Leah from Life's Experts, and in this video I want to comment on a recent article that came out in the BBC. It is titled, A man tried to choke me during sex without warning, and it was published on the 28th of November 2019. The reason why I want to comment on this article is because it's really important to bring awareness around the issues that adults face when it comes to sex and relationships, and to also discuss briefly my point of view when it comes to the narrative that such articles are building. Briefly though, I want to read out a few lines from the article. It reads, research company Savanta ComRes asked 2,002 UK women aged between 18 and 39 if they had experienced experienced slapping, choking, gagging, or spitting during consensual sex, and if it was ever unwanted. The sample was weighted to be representative of all UK women by age and region. More than a third, 38%, had experienced these acts and said they were unwanted at least some of the time, while just under two-thirds of women had either experienced it and said it was never unwanted, 31%, or they had no experience, did not know, or preferred not to say. 31%. The Centre for Women's Justice told the BBC the figures showed the growing pressure on young women to consent to violent, dangerous, and demeaning acts. It said it is likely to be due to the widespread availability, normalization, and use of extreme pornography. The problem I find is that we vilify porn, and this is actually missing the point. Porn is entertainment. It is exaggerated. It is not how things are in reality. But the thing is that a lot of people watch porn, and especially people who have no frame of reference, They think this is the way it's done. This is how it happens. And my argument is that it would be the same if we let people watch Fast and Furious and then gave them cars and never put them through any sort of driving course, uh, theory and practice test, etc. The problem is not that porn exists. The problem is that people actually have little to no education when it comes to healthy sexual and intimate encounters in relationships. This is why I work with adults though, because age does not really equate to knowledge. Knowledge comes from learning. From the purposeful and intentional, goal-oriented learning experiences that we create for ourselves and we seek out. And being good at relationships and sex does not mean having had many or having had few. It's actually about investing time, money, effort into learning these things. Okay, so what can we do here? We can't ban porn. People want to watch it regardless whether it's banned or not. But we can definitely try to create better porn and also better education for people of all ages and sexualities, etc., because this is what matters. Education is the difference between Watching 20 hours of Fast and Furious type of movies and getting a 17-year-old into a car and having Fast and Furious and then giving people education on how to actually drive safely and then giving them a car. So what is missing between porn and people having sex is that education. This is why— this is what we need, education. Because people are not going to stop having sex or watching porn and trying to imitate porn in their sexual life, etc. We just need to learn how to distinguish porn from reality, just like we can distinguish Fast and Furious, fictional, from actual driving on the streets. Okay, I hope I made my case for education, and I hope you read the article because it's really interesting and it does show the extent of the problem we have in today's society. And trust me, it's not just kids that need sex and relationship education, it is their parents and their grandparents too. It's everybody, realistically speaking. Anyhow, thanks for joining in today. I hope you enjoyed it, and please do comment wherever you're seeing this. Let me know what your thoughts are. Thanks, bye!